Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

♪

[screams]

- Parenting: it's a wild ride.

- And we're all trying our best to hang on.

- Oh, my God.

- But with our every move being recorded...

- [screams]

- Posted... - [screams]

- This is real life. This is mom life.

- And judged...

- Yes!

But not on you.

- The ups and downs...

- It's a boy!

- Are wilder than ever.

- Buckle up.

- This right here is just old-school parenting.

- Or you're headed for a time-out.

- I refuse to be disobeyed.

♪

- I'm pregnant.

- God, no!

♪

- As parents, we quickly learn to expect

the unexpected with our kids,

especially when it comes to having "the talk."

Yeah, you know the one.

- Wait a minute.

So how--wait, if you only have two balls...

- [giggles]

- Then how do you get pregnant with five kids?

[laughter]

♪

Raise your hand if you think Daddy has unlimited balls.

[laughter]

- Looks like you're on your own with that theory, kid.

[laughter]

Now remember, there's no privacy

when it comes to your kids,

not even when it includes things tucked away

in that bedside drawer--

the one that's supposed to be off-limits.

- What is inside it?

- It's just something that stops Mommy

from having babies.

- Can I see inside it?

- No. - Why?

- Because it's not appropriate.

- Does it stick on you?

- Yeah.

- And it doesn't come off?

- Unless you want to take it off.

Please put it back.

- No.

- I feel uncomfortable with this conversation.

- [laughs]

- Go show your father.

- No.

- Yeah, there we go.

Good girl.

Now, can you please stop going through our bedside drawers?

- No.

- In New York, this dad is realizing

that his daughter's schoolwork

doesn't quite check out.

♪

- This is adorable.

"All About My Mom and Why I Love Her."

[laughter] "This is a picture of my mom.

Her name is Ida."

Oh, that's beautiful.

"My name is Sofia."

Everything looks great except right here, which says,

"I love her because"...what?

- Wait, what does that say?

- So what did you-- what did you write over here?

You said, "I love her because"...

How do you spell this?

- You tried to spell "sweet."

So that's S-W-E-E-T.

That's a T?

♪

Oh. And what is this?

- Puzzles.

Oh, OK.

I'm gonna teach you how to spell both of those words.

- Great call, Dad.

Please do that F-A-S-T.

♪

Mothers are always there for their daughters--

teaching them, comforting them,

and helping them conquer their biggest fears.

- No, no! I don't wanna!

No! No!

[whimpers] No, don't.

[both screaming]

♪

- [laughs]

[both screaming]

♪

- Oh, my God!

- [laughs]

♪

Well done! - We did it! Yeah!

- High five.

Oh, my God.

- In Texas, Phyllis Peña and her daughter

are tackling their own scary situation.

- I pulled up into my driveway

and saw someone looking

into my daughter's window.

I'm calling the police, and I'm telling

the police what had happened.

- Was he just on your property?

- OK.

- I don't have a clue who he is.

- Blonde hair? - Yeah, blonde hair.

- Police search the neighborhood

for the suspect...

♪

- Come here. Come here.

Show me your hands. Don't you-- f****** jump!

- Stop! Police! Ack, he's coming to you!

- But he's not interested in talking.

- Get on the ground!

Tase him!

♪

- 413, got one running.

- He outruns the taser, but he has no idea

what's waiting for him next.

- I saw him come back out from another neighbor's yard,

and he comes barreling towards us.

♪

- [shouts indistinctly]

Get on the ground!

♪

- Come here. Show me your hands.

Don't you f****** jump police!

- In Texas, police are chasing a suspect

accused of peeking into the window

of Phyllis Peña's teenage daughter.

- 413, got one running.

Get on the ground!

- He may be able to outrun the cops,

but can he escape a protective mom?

[dramatic music]

- You know, I'm just thinking, if I could just slow him down,

trip him up a little bit, just where,

you know, it'd give them a chance to catch up.

♪

- But Phyllis did way more than just trip him up.

She slammed him down like she was wrestling

for a championship belt.

- When I hit the ground, everything went flying.

We collided pretty hard.

And it was concrete, so that...

didn't feel the greatest.

I wanted to make sure the message was clear.

You know, don't come back.

♪

- F***! - I know!

- Handcuffs, handcuffs.

- You know when you got to, like, protect your kids,

but I mean, s***, when they're

in their room like this.

And then it was creepy, because he was like,

I didn't mean to hurt her.

What do you even mean by that?

- Thanks to this mama bear, the suspect was arrested.

He later pled guilty to evading arrest

with prior conviction,

possession of a controlled substance,

and was sentenced to ten months in prison.

- To this day, I have no idea how I tackled him like that.

You hear too many times where if they're not caught,

you know, they come back.

And I'm not saying that would have been the situation,

but I didn't want to find out.

No one will ever mess with my kids after that.

[laughs]

♪

- Any parent will tell you that kids specialize in chaos.

- Oh, no!

- Leave it to a toddler to redecorate a brand-new house.

- [laughs]

♪

- And when it's twins, everything doubles...

- What is going on?

- Except your patience.

- Carson, are you kidding me?

Hey! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

♪

- Parents of toddlers know that toilets can become

storage bins for toys, car keys, TV remotes,

and just about anything else

they can get their little hands on.

- Have you put the entire contents

of a bag of dog biscuits down the toilet?

- Yeah.

- Oh, my God.

I can't believe you've done that.

- Yeah. - Oh, God.

Blake.

How on Earth are we gonna get them out?

Yeah, I think you better just close the lid.

Daddy can sort it out later.

- We need a lot more potty training here.

♪

- As kids get older, it doesn't get any less wild.

- Oh, that side.

- In Michigan, this little girl

is filming a driver's ed how-to.

- Now--

oh, that's right.

The keys are right there.

- Oh, no.

She's not, is she?

[engine turning over]

Yep, she is.

[alert bell dinging]

♪

- Hey! Hey! Hey! - [screaming]

- S***, s***, what are you doing in my car?

♪

You're recording?

[laughter]

♪

- An arcade in Virginia, two sisters

are causing some chaos at a claw machine--

gaming the system from the inside.

♪

- Hey, if you give me 50 cents, I can get them.

[laughter]

- Bonus points to Mom for keeping a sense of humor

about this.

- Put your legs out first, like that.

- I'm not sure I'd be as calm as her right now.

- Got it?

Look, Look, put your head this way.

This way.

- There you go. - There we go.

Yay!

- We got a toy!

- No, we're not-- no, no, no, no, no.

- Oh.

Come here.

- Minutes later the attendant came to open up the machine,

and Mom finally got her prize.

- Childbirth is not for the faint of heart.

- And push one, two, three...

- Even if you're just a spectator to it...

- Five, six. Take a deep breath.

- Ugh! [laughter]

- It will always take you by surprise.

In Texas, Lesia and her husband, Jonathan,

are racing to the birthing center

to welcome the newest member of their family.

- I'd kind of been having some contractions in the night.

They weren't, like, super crazy,

and so everything seemed to be fine.

But then we got into the car.

And by the time we hit the highway,

they were already two minutes apart.

Just, like, they just picked up rapidly.

- Lesia and Jonathan already have two kids.

- Ow!

- And they might be getting their third

sooner than they think.

[screams]

♪

- In Texas, Lesia and her husband, Jonathan,

are racing to the birthing center.

[screams]

- But who will arrive first,

them or their new baby?

- When the water broke, even though we were

15 minutes away or so, I thought we would make it.

- [groans]

Ow!

- But the way that she was screaming

as the water broke

told me this wasn't the same

as previous births,

that the contractions

were much more intense.

So that's when I first started to have serious doubts

that we would make it.

[screams]

I think this actual screaming was just sheer terror

of, like, birthing him in the car.

[screams]

Ow!

- All right. [baby cries]

We had a baby.

[laughs]

[baby crying] Oh!

[upbeat music]

- All right.

[baby crying]

- I just kept going back and forth

between, like, this awe and amazement of, like,

oh, my goodness, he's so beautiful;

he's here

to, like, I can't believe that just happened.

[baby crying]

- [laughs] So I wonder if we still have to pay

for using the birth center.

[laughs]

- Baby Josiah is born happy, healthy,

and clocking in at a whopping 10 pounds, 3 ounces.

♪

- I had no idea he was gonna be 10 pounds.

My other babies were both 8 pounds.

And he's just so big, like, how was that in there?

[laughter]

- There were plenty of people who were like,

is this your last one? - Yeah.

[laughter]

- You know, but nope.

- We're like, well, I don't know.

- Nope, we've had five more kids now.

♪

- So life now is pretty crazy,

you know, as you can imagine,

with eight kids that are really young.

It's crazy, but it's-- it's a good crazy.

[laughs]

- We did it. High five, babe.

[baby crying]

- When it comes to their daughters,

dads will do anything for their little girls--

and I do mean anything.

- Whoo!

- This woman is a pole dancing instructor,

and her supportive dad is giving her class a spin.

♪

- Whee!

- [laughs]

I'm a pole dancer.

- I don't think the Speedo was a class requirement, Dad.

That's for sure some extra credit.

- [laughs]

♪

- As any daughter will tell you,

there's nothing a father likes better

than a little dad-splaining.

- So I'm going to show you how to carve a turkey.

- This dad has the perfect opportunity.

It's Thanksgiving, and he's got a captive audience:

his three girls.

- First thing you do is take the stuffing out.

♪

- Ew, it's making weird sounds.

- Do you want me to get it?

♪

- This whole thing's full of stuffing.

Just scoop it in there. - The entire thing in there?

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

- Like, all the way up to here. It's, like--

- Oh, my God. - Yeah, just scoop in there.

- This is a tradition they can pass on to their children

one day...

- I just hope this is done.

- It's not all the stuffing getting out.

- Yeah, it is.

- What is that?

- Unless they're forever traumatized

by what they see next.

♪

- Oh, my God!

♪

- In the suburbs of Philadelphia,

this dad is passing on the tradition

of carving the turkey to his three daughters...

except this lesson has a twist.

- What is that?

- Hmm.

What? - Pull that out.

- This? - Yes.

[upbeat music]

♪

- What is it? - What is it?

- What is it? What is it?

- It's a second chicken.

[gasps]

- Oh, God.

- It was pregnant!

- Looks like the turkey has a plus-one for dinner.

- That's the saddest thing I've ever seen.

- Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

- That's nasty.

- I can't do this right now.

- Before the girls swear off poultry forever...

- Can I not eat turkey?

- Dad spills the beans.

- Turkeys have eggs.

They don't have babies. - [laughs]

- We can't eat it now. - This is a rock--

- We cannot eat that!

- This is a rock Cornish hen

that we put in there, OK, as a joke.

All right? - You're so funny.

- Only a dad could turn a poultry prank

into a biology lesson.

- Turkey have eggs...

- Oh, my God. - Like chickens.

They don't have babies like this.

- No, that is a sick joke.

- It is sick. It was funny.

- It was not.

- That was not funny.

[laughter]

♪

- This dad is willing to put his head

in his daughters' hands just to make them happy.

- Whatever hairstyle you think Daddy should have, OK?

- Oh! [laughs]

[clippers buzzing]

♪

- How's it going back there?

You told me you knew what you were doing.

- It looks cute.

[laughs]

- I don't know if I like the sound of that.

[laughs]

OK, what's the verdict? - [laughs]

- No!

- What are you laughing at, hopefully not my haircut.

How do I look?

- [laughs]

- How do I look? - Perfect, sir!

Perfect.

- Don't forget to tip your stylist, Dad.

- [laughs]

- In order to teach their kids a lesson,

some dads are willing to give up everything...

- Including their dignity.

[laughter]

- There's no going back.

- Tired of hearing his girls talk about how painful

waxing is, this dad wants to prove that they're

making a fuss over nothing.

- Oh, Dad.

Wait for it.

- Just do it.

- [screams] [laughter]

Ah!

- You got to get the rest of it, Cass.

- My fault. - What?

Why'd you go again for?

[laughter] Why'd you go again for?

[laughter]

- Sometimes as parents, we end up asking ourselves,

what was I thinking?

- OK!

- In Texas, a dad is taunting the losing team...

- At his kid's baseball game.

- You'd hope the other parents

aren't being so childish,

but that's not the case.

- And soon enough...

- Two of them are getting into a kick and slap fight.

- Dude, seriously.

- Ow!

- Fortunately, other parents are

still behaving like grown-ups...

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

- For the most part.

- When your parents are talking s***

to our players, that pisses us off.

Yeah, you--

- OK.

♪

- Family vacations are all about making memories,

like the one this mom is about to make

with her daughter.

- Here comes Mommy.

- Hi, Mommy.

- Here she comes.

- [screams]

♪

- You OK?

- Pretty sure nobody's gonna forget that one.

♪

- [screams]

- You just hope whatever lasting memories

are made on family vacations

don't result in a trip to the ER.

- Oh, s***!

- And as every dad knows,

the most important part of any vacation

is to document how much fun everyone

is supposed to be having.

- Hi, I'm David Geller, and I'm here on my vacation

with my son and my daughter.

What could be better than Disney World?

We love it so mu--

so much!

- Hey, if you're gonna wipe out,

it might as well be at the happiest place on Earth.

- Whoa.

Whoa.

What was that?

That was like a tidal wave just knocked us out.