Original subtitles

(♪ Love As A Weapon ♪ by Little Scream)

♪ I was putting on my raincoat ♪

♪ When I saw myself again ♪

♪ I was thinking about how I felt ♪

♪ When you fooled my heart again ♪

- Okay, pros. - He's very cute.

- Yes, but he has no desire to have sex with us

which is great. - Is it?

- It's way less messy.

- Hmm...

Pro, he's a dentist.

- I don't know. - What?

- I mean, aren't dentists, like,

the most suicidal people in the world?

- I think that's Finnish people. - I heard a statistic.

- I'm putting dentist in the pro column.

- Cute, no desire to have sex with us,

dentist. That's all we have so far?

- Oh, he gave us the friend discount

which means he's generous. That's a pro.

- Generous. Okay, cons.

- Suicidal. - We don't know that!

- We don't not know that.

And we don't want our kids traumatized by a father who...

(clicks tongue) You know?

- What is wrong with you?

- I don't know, I think I'm nervous.

I mean, look at them, they're just so perfect.

- That's social media. It's not real.

The point is to look perfect.

- So it's a lie. They're liars. That's a con.

- No! It's just a greatest hits list.

They leave out the bad parts. - Like the sadism.

- What are you talking about?

- That movie with the killer plant

where Steve Martin was a sadistic dentist.

- Please, not today.

If you're going to be this weird today,

they're not going to give us their sperm.

- I can't help it. The seasons are changing.

I feel too much.

- Here, just write a poem about it.

- Are they making a pro and con list about us?

- What? No! We're perfect.

- Are we? - What do you mean?

- Do you think they're going to ask

to see my credit score? - I mean, maybe,

he sensed your financial stability

and that's why he gave you a discount for your tooth!

- And how is that tooth? Any sharp edges?

- It's so smooth, I don't feel a thing.

- You must be Nico.

Oh, yes to sperm, no to handshakes. Okay.

(chuckling) Uh... So, you're a psychologist?

- Hmm. - That is such a great balance

for a dentist.

- Why?

- Oh, because you know,

uh, dentistry...

- We're so glad you two could come.

- They're a little bit older than I imagined.

- Not long in the tooth, though.

(quietly): They have great gums, okay?

Very strong.

- We can hear you, by the way.

- And what about Anna's cute aggression?

- My what aggression?

- You broke your tooth

due to an attack of cute aggression.

That's the psychological term. - Mmm.

- So who's to say you won't crush a baby

with your love? I mean, that wouldn't be very... cute.

- Oh, my god!

- Anna would never crush a baby.

- Well, how can we be sure? - Uh, Nico likes to be

sure about things. - Yeah, well, Khalil believes

in huge leaps of faith.

- Well, that's what believing is.

- What? - A leap of faith.

- Hmm. Khalil tends to leap without looking at all.

- Nico? - Mm-hmm?

- You said you'd be open. You know how much

this means to me. - I want to be thorough.

I don't want you disappointed like the last time.

You were so down.

- See? - You promised you'd try.

You promised you'd try.

(sighs)

- You're right. I'm sorry.

We're very excited by your proposal

to co-parent our mutual offspring.

I brought along copies

of our financial and medical records.

- Oh! - You didn't?

Here's a copy of our custody agreement template

courtesy of our lawyer.

- Wow. - Over to you.

- Um, for such an important decision,

you know, one so biological in nature,

getting out of our heads and into our bodies

in an attempt to feel out the connection

is just more aligned with our future

mothering... approach.

- Wow.

That's beautiful. - Rosa's a poet.

- Oh, artistic. That's good. - Oh!

- Okay, so I have science, you have arts.

And Nico has interpersonal skills.

And what about you, Anna?

- Oh, Anna has fashion. - Fashion what?

- I'm a stylist.

- Also very creative.

- So who would be carrying?

- I mean, ideally, we both would.

- At the same time? - This is great.

- Isn't this great, honey?

I'm feeling a yes!

- We haven't talked about health,

religion, education, finances, like...

- I mean, if everybody talked about those things

before having babies,

there would be no babies, right?

- I... No.

I...

I'm feeling... (grunts)

- Um, uh, sometimes he just needs to give

his feelings a little space. You know?

- I get that, my parents are both therapists.

- Oh, and you turned out okay?

- Uh, yeah!

- That blonde one is just so blonde.

At least, Nazira was Lebanese like you.

- We don't even know which one is going to get pregnant.

Plus, Rosa's mixed.

If Anna gets pregnant, our baby will be mixed.

It's a new world. Let's embrace it.

- It's just, it's not feeling very official.

- I don't want making a family to be official.

Besides, a surrogate would cost us a fortune

and there's no guarantee.

Adoption could take forever.

And I want moms in the picture.

Breastfeeding is the number one way

to promote optimal jaw growth and healthy teeth.

- Okay, well, maybe we should go for ones that are a bit,

you know, younger.

- Oh, are we really going to be those sexist pigs

who just want a woman in their 20s?

Do you remember how devastated I was

when Nazira pulled the plug?

- Of course, I do.

- And then these two lovelies,

they show up in my practice

and they made me a card. A card, Nico.

It's fate. It has to be.

I say we take a chance.

Huh? Yeah?

Jump.

(gentle music)

- That contract better be airtight.

- Yeah, of course. Yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, we'll do it? Okay.

A poet, a dentist, a stylist, and a psychologist

make some babies. (gasps)

- Really? - Yeah!

- That's amazing.

(nervous chuckling)

- Oh... Okay. - Yes!

- Mmm 'kay.

Sss...

so...

Do you live in a house or a condo?

I assume at your age, you must own.

- You know, it's kind of a funny story.

(funk music)

- It's settled then. You guys have to stay with us

until you find something.

(Rosa and Anna giggling)

Yeah, duh!

- Thank you! - Wow.

(excited giggling)

- Oh...

I'm so excited. - Yay!

(laughing)

(rhythmic music)

Subtitling: difuze