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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,520 LOL: LAST ONE LAUGHING POLAND 2 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,119 Music! 3 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,480 IN PREVIOUS EPISODES 4 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,360 Since I got the Green Stick I cheat on my wife. 5 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:42,680 You seem to like it rough. 6 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,200 Get up! 7 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,320 A laugh was committed. 8 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:47,960 -Oh, no! -No! 9 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:52,880 Please sit and calm down. Look at me. 10 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,880 And now we'll have a shower of cards. 11 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,960 Welcome to our show 12 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,360 sponsored by... 13 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,080 -No! -It's obvious, this one. 14 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,600 Piotr, yellow card. 15 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:29,120 It was very funny. 16 00:01:30,039 --> 00:01:31,360 Really cracked me up. 17 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:34,280 I have no idea why farting does it to me. 18 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,479 Now we can still laugh, right? 19 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,200 Yes, you can still laugh, but I am not finished. 20 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,960 Please see another piece. 21 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:47,640 Oh, my! 22 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,800 Zosia is obviously laughing here. 23 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,520 Zosia, with great affection and love. 24 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,360 I was totally upset about the yellow card. 25 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,880 I didn't get it for farts, I got it because of Piotr. 26 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:04,360 He was laughing so hard. 27 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,320 I sat next to him and it finished me off. 28 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:09,840 Now go ahead and laugh. 29 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:12,400 -Now you can. -Now I don't feel like laughing. 30 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,160 Sonia, to make two people laugh at once? Congrats. 31 00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,760 -Thank you. -You are the best. 32 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,440 Thank God I didn't break. 33 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,440 -I don't know how you did it. -Your snorts and my ass over my head. 34 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,160 My dear friends, from now on, no laughing again. 35 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:38,840 Can you open it? 36 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,120 Strongman! 37 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,440 See. I went to the gym once. 38 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,360 Mostly to return my membership card, true, 39 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,040 -but it did something. -It's amazing. 40 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,480 You buy this membership card, 41 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,200 they make you pay for three months, and you go once. 42 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,640 When I went to return this membership card, 43 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,520 boy, I never sweated so much. 44 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,720 Some of it was my lack of assertiveness. 45 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,480 Let's take this crowd for a spin. 46 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:05,720 Please welcome Olga Łasak. 47 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:18,720 Jesus. 48 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,240 I knew it will be dangerous. 49 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,680 She's got what it takes to crack you up. 50 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:25,760 Very much so. 51 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,000 -Hello. -Hello. 52 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,040 Did I say that the person should speak? 53 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:38,280 Has anyone been involved in ballet? 54 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:40,160 I have, but... 55 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,360 Don't make me laugh, girl. 56 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,000 It's clear that you haven't. 57 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:45,920 "Girl." 58 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,120 Let's try a mini-casting. 59 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,240 Everyone get up, please. 60 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,320 On your toes. 61 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,720 Hands up. 62 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,960 -Good. -Adam, don't worry. 63 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,600 -It's gonna be all right. -Ballet skirt. 64 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,400 You better not. Ballet skirt. 65 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,920 Ballet skirt. 66 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,400 Quick. We haven't got all day. Let's move. 67 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,240 Darn it. I broke it. Excuse me, ma'am. I broke it ma'am. 68 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,760 -Calm down. -Yes? 69 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,240 I knew, it was bound to happen. 70 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:24,920 I will help you, boy. I can see you are pretty but a bit overwhelmed. 71 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:28,560 "You are pretty but a bit overwhelmed." Excellent. Check! 72 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,680 The overwhelmed part of course. 73 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,920 Let's approach the ballet bar. 74 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,480 If you know what it is. 75 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,240 I know what is a ballet bar. 76 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,000 Well, we've got a know-it-all. Good. 77 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:43,680 Look at Adam. 78 00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:46,200 It's silly. 79 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,800 I had no idea why, but he did something like this... 80 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:57,920 I don't know. Is it about restraining blood circulation, so you don't laugh? 81 00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,360 Is this some kind of a trick? 82 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:03,800 Let's go. Position one. We stick our heels together. 83 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,640 Beautiful. And off we go. 84 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,640 Relevé. 85 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,240 Hold on, hold. Relevé, please. 86 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:15,760 Up. 87 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,000 Boy, show me how you suck. 88 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,680 -Show me how you suck. -Like everybody. 89 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,880 How come you suck at your footwork. 90 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,680 -I can do that too. -Higher up. Good. 91 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,360 Very good, let's hold on. 92 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,120 Now pay attention. We'll bear a womb. 93 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,120 Here we go. 94 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:37,040 What? 95 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,600 It means that from relevé we move to demi plié. 96 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,880 -Let's repeat it together. Demi... -Demi... 97 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,320 -Plié. -Plié. 98 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:51,680 -Demi plié. -Demi pliè. 99 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:55,280 I thought it would be better if I danced with them. 100 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,040 I wouldn't have to see it. 101 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,000 All right. Question for couch potatoes. 102 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,640 What position is "butts lie here and there"? 103 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,120 -Butts lie here and there... -It's the position... 104 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,440 You begin with two legs, 105 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:06,880 then one goes up. 106 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:08,440 Then here and to the side. 107 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:09,840 You think so, right? 108 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,240 -I think so. -Me too. 109 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,800 What about "Fox has a den"? 110 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,840 I didn't have it in physical education class. 111 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,080 There is no such position. 112 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,800 You can do nothing and know shit. 113 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,560 Fine, answer the question. 114 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,600 Where does a leg come from, when from position "Gelly paper" 115 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,080 we move through position Jean Reno 116 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,960 to the battement tendu? 117 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,320 -Where does a leg come from? -From the ass. 118 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,440 -From the ass. Very good. -Always. 119 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:38,960 Always comes from the ass. 120 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,520 I thought that the jokes about sucking would be the worst, 121 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:45,080 but the worst was to come. 122 00:06:45,159 --> 00:06:46,360 Music! 123 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,400 Please not Swan Lake. 124 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,760 I cannot look at Adam. 125 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,120 I love dancing. 126 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,880 I'm always ready to jump in. 127 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:20,400 Sorry. 128 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,200 This requires certain experience. 129 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,160 I think they've got it in the third year of a ballet school. 130 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:35,960 Zosia really can stretch. 131 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,040 She must practice a lot. 132 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,000 Look... 133 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,720 Shoot. This is difficult. 134 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,880 I started twerking right under Blowek's nose. 135 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:59,200 In a ballet skirt. Bravo, Zosia. 136 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:04,160 With her butt under my nose to make me laugh, and I just sat there... 137 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,160 Apologies, my dear husband. 138 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:12,920 Beautiful! 139 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,120 You can do something. 140 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,680 Thank you for participation. 141 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,200 -Goodbye. -Goodbye. 142 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:20,560 Good bye, madame. 143 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,200 I try to avoid physical activity 144 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:25,680 and this finished me off. 145 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,200 Well, my friends. 146 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,560 I want to see their faces when I'll pull out the card. 147 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:30,480 Do you know who? 148 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,960 It wasn't me. 149 00:08:35,039 --> 00:08:36,360 I did not laugh. 150 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:37,280 It's me. 151 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,159 It was hard. 152 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,600 Zosia made it so hard. 153 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,720 -When she started... -Twerking? 154 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:43,880 Really? 155 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,320 -It was terrible. -Great. 156 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,320 I am here for a reason. 157 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:48,640 Look at the recording. 158 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,440 Well, Kasia. 159 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:01,720 Kasia, it was my fault. 160 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,520 Even this counts. 161 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,720 -Kasia, your first yellow card. -I was hit in the face. 162 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,280 -You were hit in the face? -Unintentionally. Slightly. 163 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,640 Adam, during his beautiful ballet pas, 164 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,880 suddenly touched me... 165 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,240 His hand somehow got stuck to my face. 166 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,720 And this cracked me up. 167 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,640 You guys have fun. Bye. 168 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,160 -Bye. -I'll see you soon. 169 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:35,000 During the last several months, I don't recall having to move so much. 170 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,480 -Kasia? -Really? 171 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,760 I saw you yesterday. You were walking on the street. 172 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:42,760 Let's get back to business. 173 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:05,440 Piotr is holding up, right? He concocts there... 174 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,600 He already tried all known movie genres. 175 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:09,880 And a few new ones. 176 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,320 Can you unclog a sink? 177 00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:12,640 Look. 178 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,640 Holy cow. 179 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,000 How do you do it? 180 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:27,960 It's very simple. 181 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,960 I think you must be male. 182 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:34,520 Kasia, don't do it. 183 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,080 Sorry. Ow! I got clogged. 184 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:41,880 It happens. 185 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,440 Watch out, a performance. 186 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,200 Do you know what lifehacks are? 187 00:10:58,400 --> 00:10:59,840 Jerzy, what are lifehacks? 188 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:01,840 "Lifehacks"? 189 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:07,280 Lifehacks are things which are supposed to make our life easier and more pleasant. 190 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:08,520 Let's begin. 191 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,040 He could have changed his shirt in the changing room. Not here. 192 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,360 Piotr seems a little jealous. 193 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,600 -The other way. -Backwards. 194 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,760 It's backwards, right? So what do you do now? 195 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,440 What do you do when you put your shirt on backwards? 196 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,840 -I take out my arms and turn it around. -Me too. 197 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:31,480 It's smart, but there is a better way. 198 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,080 -You cut off the tag. -Simple. And you are all set. 199 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,360 Brilliant. 200 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:45,000 What's interesting, you don't even have to... 201 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,160 -Christ, your fingers! -...put this on... 202 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,840 See? And everybody carries a stapler, right? 203 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,320 Now it makes sense. 204 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,800 Fricking amazing. In a jungle... 205 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,560 Piotr is not impressed, 206 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,440 because he saw me doing it at the gym. 207 00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:00,720 First he was a bit surprised, but later considered it normal. 208 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:03,840 It's so stupid. 209 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:09,600 For sure, in your life you had this situation... 210 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:10,520 For sure. 211 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,520 ...that your charger cable got stuck in a cup. 212 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,760 What do you do then? 213 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,720 -It happened to me once. -We smash the cup. 214 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,040 Not a bad idea, but I've got a better one. 215 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,000 I take out this tool. 216 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,280 -Monkey wrench. -You hold it like this... 217 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:29,200 Groovy. 218 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,160 Then you do this... 219 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,680 -You were right. -Wow, it can be done. 220 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,400 And we still have the cup. 221 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,720 Karol's got some cool lifehacks. 222 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,720 You can tell he's a smart fellow. 223 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:48,920 And now the king of lifehacks. Really powerful. 224 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,000 We are eating, for example, popcorn or chips. 225 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,200 What do you do to keep your hands clean? 226 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,160 -Don't eat? -Eat with your feet. 227 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,640 You can put on gloves. 228 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:04,080 It's a prototype. Fricking awesome. 229 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,120 You just put it on this way... 230 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:18,960 And your hands are clean. 231 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:21,160 It's brilliant, I strongly recommend it. 232 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,600 Each time I use it in a movie theater, the staff go up the wall. 233 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,680 "Too loud," they say. Imagine. 234 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,440 It was so stupid, yet funny. 235 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:34,320 -Which lifehack you liked best? -The shirt. 236 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,920 -Me too. The shirt. -Because I took off shirt? 237 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:39,760 -The shirt is amazing. -Good. Thank you. 238 00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:42,520 -I hope you liked it. -Chill! 239 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:44,320 Wow! 240 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,440 Like some people say, "Wowmazing." 241 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:50,600 I feel so emboldened, that I think I'll take off my shirt. 242 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,240 -Do it, Adam. -I've got this feeling 243 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:56,040 -that I haven't got what he's got. -Adam! 244 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,480 But I've got something too. 245 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:03,880 Today, it's easy to show them packs or whatnot, right? 246 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:08,280 But it's much more difficult to stand up and show 247 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,800 my concept for the so-called six-pack. 248 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,280 I came up with the idea, that on a beach I will walk like that. 249 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,760 That's fricking cool. 250 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,440 So handsomely. 251 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,200 There is something in it. 252 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,040 I go on... 253 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,760 And there is this second that everybody... 254 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,240 -Darn. -Is this Woronowicz? 255 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,520 Is this Adam Woronowicz? 256 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:36,120 He was suntanned in some places, and in some places, not. 257 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,400 I don't know if he did it on purpose for the show. 258 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:44,160 Adam modestly walked around in a T-shirt all summer. 259 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,080 Went to solarium in a T-shirt. 260 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:47,760 Why not? 261 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,000 I realize, you know... I am not Czarek Pazura. 262 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:51,920 Obviously. 263 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,880 I am not taking off my shirt. 264 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,080 I've got this too. Look... 265 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,320 Look, Adam. Look. 266 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:03,400 The guys are bulking, right? 267 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,840 All they need to do is turn it into muscle. 268 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,920 I can't bend like this, my belly drags me behind. 269 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,920 -Oh, yes, you can. -Look what I've got. 270 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,520 -You can't, indeed. -I can't. 271 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,280 Later it will narrow down or... 272 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:19,400 It will narrow down and will move kind of forward, 273 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,840 then it will collapse 274 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,360 and move a little lower. 275 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,880 Here you will have kind of a cyst, but no worries. 276 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,920 At this point you put on a belt. 277 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,760 -Right. -Get it? And you are cool. 278 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,960 You go on a beach wearing only slips and push it inside. 279 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,200 And everybody says... 280 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:36,840 Flat stomach and a huge tool. 281 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,840 It's time for a special guest. 282 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:51,960 The winner of the first season of LOL returns in his role of the Art Professor. 283 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,680 Christ and Holy Mary. 284 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,400 Michał Meyer. 285 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:58,240 Attention. 286 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,120 Oh, no. 287 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,480 Christ and Holy Mary, young man. 288 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,480 -Jesus, I'm so ashamed. He is here. -Something happened. 289 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,520 I realized that it wouldn't be easy. I know what he is capable of. 290 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:21,400 He is funny, focused and he is the winner. 291 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:23,560 I hate him. 292 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,400 My student. The perfect boy. 293 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,000 "Shining Forehead," I called him. 294 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,760 -"Shining" because he is enlightened. -He's running away. 295 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,760 -Adam, sit down here. -Adam! 296 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:38,240 Excuse me, I startle young people at the time when everybody is happy. 297 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,200 -What happened? -It's really bad. 298 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:44,960 Thirty years. Do you understand, young man clad in vegetation? 299 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,240 Thirty years serving the education of the young. 300 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:50,640 Infecting the young, infecting with love. 301 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,040 With love for the arts? 302 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,640 And how it feels when suddenly they just let you go? 303 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,720 He got canned. 304 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,120 They fired me, man! You know why? 305 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,680 One moment of weakness. 306 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:05,079 Just a single moment. I am like you. Like a beautiful woman. 307 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,240 She affects me, I affect her, for I am an animal. 308 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:09,880 I am an animal for God's sake. 309 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,800 My Lord. I am half animal, like you. 310 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:14,960 You've got all this hair here. 311 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,960 So aren't you an animal? 312 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,319 -Who fired you? -The university. 313 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,720 For thirty years I was teaching students. 314 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,319 And listen what happened. 315 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:27,440 The water gurgled, the animal bristled, you understand? 316 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:30,720 -And went for a pant leg. -And with Leszczak's wife, the dean's... 317 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:32,680 My luck. They installed cameras, 318 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,560 because students were stealing books. 319 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:38,240 This one doesn't read. Sneezes at it all. You smoke this shit. 320 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,880 But I love you youngsters. 321 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:40,800 Still, you know what? 322 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,880 I've got something of my own. I've got something... 323 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:46,480 Something the Lord gave me. 324 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,440 If only I went my own way then. 325 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,280 I'd have it all... 326 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,760 I'd have women, 327 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,240 I'd have papayas, pineapples, marmalade. 328 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,160 Aruba, Jamaica, I'd have been everywhere. Listen. 329 00:17:58,560 --> 00:17:59,560 I don't know. 330 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,880 I put in the whole of me. 331 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,560 This is all I've got left, now. 332 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,400 Jeez, I know you. 333 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:09,880 That's Meyer for you. 334 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:14,560 When he sees even a hint of weakness in you, 335 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,880 he'll take the opportunity to finish you off. 336 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,760 I've seen you somewhere. I've seen you in the movies. 337 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:25,080 He's seen it in my eyes. He sensed it, I sensed it, and I was done for. 338 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,160 You are pure blood and balls! 339 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,640 -What? -"Blood and balls." 340 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,000 -There is no soft play. Come with me. -No. 341 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,880 Come both of you. Come. 342 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:36,480 Come here, young man, because you are... Take the puff, 343 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:38,160 you'll have something to sit on. 344 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,800 Come closer, all of you. Come, Shining Forehead. 345 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,040 My dear... 346 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,520 A woman shouldn't stand. Sit down, woman. 347 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,160 Sit, woman. 348 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,080 -This is all I have left. -What is it? 349 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,920 Be honest with me, brother. 350 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,880 -Is this good? -Good. It's beautiful. 351 00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,400 It's very good, you think? 352 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,000 -What's it's name? -Gosh! 353 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,080 It's name is Tomasz, because it's a cat. 354 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,560 Listen to me. I put... 355 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,880 You listen to me too. I put... 356 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,200 Into it... 357 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:15,800 the whole of me. 358 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,680 And not once, mind you. 359 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,480 What is it? 360 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,280 -What is it? -Why does it not say anything? 361 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,800 -Because it doesn't have... -Because it's stuffed! 362 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,000 I can't say anything, and besides... 363 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,560 Listen to me, brother. 364 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,800 -Could you swing... -What? 365 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,320 -Some kind of a deal. -To eat Tomasz? 366 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:45,320 Some way to sell it, you understand? 367 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:47,280 -I don't know... -We can make a deal, 368 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,080 you'll give me some dough. By the end of the month. 369 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,280 We'll set up this profile and make money together. 370 00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,720 I know what you mean. 371 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,800 Come here. You moved back. 372 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,080 -Come. -Certainly. 373 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,760 Come to me. 374 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,960 What have you done? What's this on your head... 375 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,440 Does the cat stand by itself? 376 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,880 -Gosh! -It's so sweet! 377 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,920 I'm all for it... The closer to nature the better, right? 378 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,800 You fart on me with your mouth? 379 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,880 -I'm sorry. -You are afraid of it's energy? 380 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:28,800 No. 381 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,720 -It's too masculine? -It's okay. 382 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,520 Listen. This is... Hey! Don't. 383 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,080 Does it like under the belly? 384 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,880 -What under the belly? -Cats like it. 385 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,880 -Like what? -Tickling. 386 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,440 -Tickling? -Yes. 387 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:42,960 This cat is dead. 388 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,280 -It does not live anymore. -Look at Adam. 389 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:52,160 Listen. Can we perhaps... 390 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,640 Because there is more. I can pawn it with you. 391 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,480 Just give me 100, 200 zlotys. I need money. 392 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,560 -May I? -You may not, cause it's... 393 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,280 Hello, no. 394 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,080 Listen. 395 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,480 -What's its name? -Per aspera ad astra. 396 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,680 It always reminds me this proverb. What's the name? Iza. 397 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:10,440 It is a marten. 398 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,480 Iza Marten! 399 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,720 Jesus. 400 00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:24,800 It was terrible! 401 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,920 Adam, I remember you. 402 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,200 I remember you too. 403 00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,720 For me it's always been an insurance policy. 404 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,320 Something like, "Andrzej, do not jump." 405 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,520 Andrzej... 406 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:42,560 Beltway of Białobrzegi is not suitable to play a game of badminton. 407 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:44,080 You do understand? 408 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,280 Game of badmin... 409 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,240 Where does he get those lines? 410 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,400 Listen, there is plenty from the whole... 411 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:54,440 It is. 412 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,000 It is, listen to me... I didn't tell you what it is... 413 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,440 It's not fair! 414 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,360 Listen, it's very important. 415 00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:10,960 These... 416 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,160 All these... 417 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,640 -The specimens were obtained ethically. -No! 418 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,240 I won't take it anymore. 419 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,720 -That's how I practice my art. -It is not fair. 420 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:26,400 Here was some fungus, and it still is. Why? Because Lord wanted it here. 421 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,320 Lord wanted it, and I'm not going to improve nature. 422 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,960 That's the primary rule. We do not improve nature. 423 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:35,160 These specific animals were obtained 424 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,560 at the Warmia section of the expressway S7. 425 00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,240 They are from July and August, so they are quite fresh. 426 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,720 Initially seasoned in the July and August sunshine. 427 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,960 They may contain traces of allergens. 428 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:50,520 Sagebrush, grasses, various smuts, 429 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,080 -goldenrod, if anyone is allergic. -Could they have contact with badgers? 430 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:57,040 Everyone, at some point, had contact with a badger. 431 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,560 Okay, kids. I didn't expect 432 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:04,240 that I'll ever experience so much good among young people. 433 00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,440 You have restored my faith, that it's still worth it. 434 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,880 I am most grateful. I will thank you. 435 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,480 With my most valuable possession. 436 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,680 Smell of your armpit? No. 437 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,960 -One more animal. -I want you to have it. 438 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,960 It always led me to the light. 439 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,600 It always led me to where it's warm. 440 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:29,360 I wish you, that it should take you into the outer space. 441 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:30,760 It's yours. 442 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:32,960 Wait a second. 443 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,000 He went for the French kiss. 444 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:39,640 See his tongue. 445 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,680 I'm gonna... Go crazy. 446 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,480 I am uniting you... 447 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:53,640 with Monika. 448 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:57,480 Who always led me where there is light. 449 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:02,720 Listen to me, young people. 450 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:07,160 Butt-headed? 451 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:09,360 When you meet Dean Leszczak, 452 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,680 tell him he can eat my ass! 453 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:18,800 He killed me. 454 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,320 We cross our fingers. 455 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:21,240 Bye. 456 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:23,640 I won't miss any of your lectures! 457 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:25,800 Terrific. 458 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:31,600 No animals were harmed in the production of this show. 459 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:32,800 You've got my word. 460 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,960 -Oh, my. -Darn. 461 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,200 -Jeez. -What a... 462 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,720 Now we can laugh. We can laugh it all out. 463 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:49,680 It was extremely funny! 464 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,640 -Terribly. -Monstrously. 465 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,640 -Not a good time. -Come on over. 466 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,840 Czarek, you don't have to say anything. 467 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,720 You tell me, how did you like the lecture? 468 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,640 -Chill. -The professor is a genius. 469 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,480 -It was too much. -Deep and substantive. 470 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:13,040 The way he stuffs these animals. They look so real. 471 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:16,480 -I even thought they were alive. -Because he stuffs them with love. 472 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,760 Most importantly he put the whole of him. 473 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,360 -And that he came. -Attention, dear friends. 474 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:22,960 I am about to present you... 475 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:25,480 a film. 476 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:30,120 -Plenty of hot scenes. -Film no. 1 with my favorite actor. 477 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:31,160 Here we go. 478 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,000 Bubble... 479 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,720 I cried when I watched it. Really. 480 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,920 -Adam Woronowicz. -What? 481 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,560 Sorry, that was a really tough one. 482 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,600 How many times I laughed there? Wow. 483 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:53,920 But it's not the end of the presentation. 484 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,040 Hold on a second. We will have a double goodbye. 485 00:25:57,120 --> 00:26:00,320 I think a lot was going on here. 486 00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:03,720 Piotr. We knew it. 487 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,200 Piotr Stramowski. 488 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:07,520 Bravo! 489 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,720 It's a red card, my friend. 490 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,800 He fell, but it was a heroic fall. 491 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,760 And I am happy about. 492 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,200 I am thinking, "Yes." 493 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,880 Well, I lost, but with the best there is. 494 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:23,440 It's still not the end, though. 495 00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:27,920 -Kasia. -Look at Kasia now. 496 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,920 -Kasia laughed. -Kasia. 497 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,040 Young guys lost it. 498 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:32,800 "Young guys lost it." 499 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:34,920 Here you go. 500 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:39,000 Karol. 501 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,200 -It was a struggle. -It's Karol? 502 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,040 -There is a smile. -A real struggle. 503 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,480 Karol, yellow card. 504 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,560 -Thank you. -Congratulations. 505 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,920 I am not even sad. To get a yellow card in such a company 506 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,440 feels really like an award. 507 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,560 Adam, Piotr, come on over 508 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:11,720 -to my control room. -Let's form the guard of honor. 509 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,240 -Adam... -You guys hold on. 510 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,560 -It's been an honor. -Hold on, bye. 511 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,640 The show will not be the same now. 512 00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,400 Guard of honor! 513 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:21,560 Bye! 514 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:22,560 See ya. 515 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,800 The moment when he pulled out the fox. 516 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:32,960 I was finished. 517 00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:38,800 -We will see you. -Come back you guys! 518 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,360 Meyer pwned. He simply pwned them. 519 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,600 Fuck. 520 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:50,920 -Listen, you had no chance. -The thing that I escaped unharmed... 521 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,160 I can't believe it. 522 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:58,240 If I survived this one, there is a chance I'll win. 523 00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,160 Adam, I really felt for you. 524 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:01,080 Darn, it was... 525 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,240 The more, the merrier in the control room. 526 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,240 I can't say that I mind. 527 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,040 It was incredible. 528 00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:09,240 And we continue. 529 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:17,280 -Give me "L." -Give me "L." 35632

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