Original subtitles

LOL: LAST ONE LAUGHING POLAND

-Who? -Jesus.

Who? Who was it?

-Who was it? -Who was it?

Who is it gonna be?

By now, you must know that one of you will get a card.

The question remains, "Who?"

Everyone was really scared of what we'll see on the screen.

-Me? -No way.

-So what? -Me?

Oh, no!

Maciej Musiałowski.

Red card.

It turned out that my gag

finished Maciej.

Amazing that it did it.

Maciej, I'm sorry.

Karol was and is a tough contender.

-Good bye my friends. -We'll fart for you with the cushion.

Bye.

Gentlemen, welcome.

I was very sad. I really wanted to stay there with them

and I was disappointed.

Now, seriously. No laughing.

It never occurred to me that farting will take place.

Toward the third hour of the show I knew that all participants

are really bone tired and bushed.

I decided to do something about it.

Now!

Do you have this phobia of touching hair?

Because I do.

-Of touching other people's hair? -Yes.

Well...

This is interesting.

You do your hair yourself?

I'm really fond of it. My hair in the back is so strong,

that if the connected a streetcar,

I could easily pull it.

Well, we'll have another performance.

-Oh, dear. -What a sweet chickling.

-Sweetheart. -Hello.

My name is Jarosław Kurzyński.

"Jarosław Kurzyński."

I would like to inform you

that our group has qualified to the First International

Poultry Song Festival in 2024.

-Congratulations! -In the town Lower Hencoops.

That's Upper Hencoops, sorry.

-Bravo! -Bravo!

What does it mean, dear friends?

It means that together we will form a hen choir.

First I would like to appoint a soloist.

The bald guy. Please stand up.

-Please repeat. -Don't take it personally, Adam.

Repeat after me.

Fantastic, we have the soloist.

At school, they kept telling me, I had a bad ear for music.

And here... voilà.

You will be a chickling. Please repeat.

Excellent.

Lady?

-It is a lady. -Lady?

Both ladies, come forward.

I had to stop my imagination.

Try to be here and now.

Spectacular. Now we need roosters.

Why me, a rooster...

Big egg acting like a child?

I crowed the best I could.

Great.

-Quiet! -Quiet.

-Okay, quiet. -I'm sorry.

-Music! -I like it.

Stop!

-It's got to be in unison. Together. -We apologize.

-When there is "pee, pee, co, co." -There was no "pee."

Not yet, but there will be. Soon.

Few more seconds and I'd laugh.

I was very close.

Chicklings here!

-You are alone. Watch out. -You are not alone.

Quiet.

It'll be a cracker.

-It will. -Definitely a cracker.

Music!

That's madness. What's happening there.

Their faces look so funny.

Well, Sonia is going down!

We've got it! Thank you very much.

Eggs or no eggs.

We are the champions.

Bravo!

It was a great honor to work with you.

Extraordinary.

Zosia's hen choir rocked.

Oh, no, it was very close...

Very close.

Too close in fact.

Darn, I went out of tune once.

You did well, Paweł.

Thanks, man, I was a bit stressed out.

It was my first concert and in the hen choir right away, it was...

-It was powerful. Really. -Top level

I can do this...

Me too. I can do a hen as well.

Look.

-Did you see it? -Amazing.

Amazing, right?

Yes...

Extreme surprise. Man of many faces and many talents.

For me he is the phenomenon of this show.

Piotr can do something like that. Look.

He shows you it's here. Click, I see where he puts it...

And it's not there, see?

Look, it's not there. Look.

Adam, you need to guess in which hand.

I will try to confuse you, but you must guess.

And it is true magic.

-Where is it? -Come on...

She's in trouble.

Sonia, did you find it funny?

Okay, so you can be finished off with little things like that.

I will remember that.

Oh, who will impress us now?

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Festival of San LOL Grand Prix winner.

Katerina.

Look at Adam. See.

The singer in this rather not optimistic ballad

recalls the story of her love.

Song with voice-over. Brilliant.

She met her lover in a store at night.

"You squeezed a flower in your fist...

"And there were tears in your eyes,"

sings Katerina.

This performance really moved Adam.

The singer confesses, that the man was heart-tugging like a chickling.

The two of them looked at each other, leaning against shelves with breadstuffs.

"I want to eat, dance and sing," she declares.

Paweł is on the edge too.

"This is the mortar of my life."

Let us listen.

Laughter? Not on my watch.

Suddenly Czarek shows up.

My presence here can mean only one thing.

We are dealing with...

-A little smile. -A laugh.

Very good.

-My dear friends, you'll see... -Jesus and Holy Mary.

...what an amateur hour it was.

-Amateur, I know. -Let's roll.

I thought, "I'm done."

-What? -He was having so much fun...

It hit him so hard, It was great to look at him laughing.

Adam, I expected anything, but you?

-Adam... -I just couldn't, you know? This...

This voice-over narration cracked me up.

Forgive me, my friend. I hate to do it, but I have to.

Voice-over translator? Adam I am so thrilled.

I can't believe I made Adam get the yellow card.

It feels like a present for me.

My fingers are crossed.

-Thanks. -You are doing great. Really.

We are having fun. Your colleagues send regards.

I really thought it was me. I didn't. I lie.

The Sheriff's sharp eye, here and now for you. Especially for you.

You know what? I feel...

-Worn out. -I feel like... I don't know.

I need some impulse.

Start.

-We are alive, let's move. -Yes, ma'am.

Do you trust me a little?

Paweł, come here.

Come. You trust me a little.

I've got a feeling they're conspiring against us.

The boys got together and started to brazenly whisper.

Then I got Zosia, Kasia... "Girls, they plot something."

Maybe we'll plot something too?

Wait, we need a strategy.

The bald guy already has a yellow card, right?

-Yep. Anyone else? -Nope.

All right, girls. We have no strategy.

Can I ask for music?

Listen, girls. Sit down, please...

-Fine. -It is a special moment.

We worked with the guys for a very long time.

We are prepared. It's our secret trick.

You are invited.

-Sorry. -What? Do we take off the shirts?

-Not necessary. Let's go. -Pity.

-You ready? -We are.

New boys band called LOL.

Blowek is totally out of it. Watch Blowek.

Adam, you'll make it. You're doing fine.

-Paweł, you too. -Very good.

With flying colors, as good as the coach.

Karol, not good. Much worse.

After the girls' comments... Things didn't work out.

-But don't give up. -I'm trying.

I can't keep up.

Now it's the most difficult part. Remember?

Finishing touch.

Paweł, great!

Paweł Chałupka moves like... He moves like a cat.

You know... Tuchas and everything... Very, very good and...

He was good. Amusing, funny.

Great moves.

We've got it. Beautiful. Paweł, great pose.

In every boys band is a front man who sings the best.

There is one who dances.

And there is one whose mommy comes and picks him up.

I waited for my mommy.

See how much testosterone he's got? Do you see his chest? It's so hairy.

-I thought my chest was hairy. -You are young. Wait a few years.

-No, testosterone with age... -The hair moves from here to your ears.

At this point a full blown abstraction went in.

-And where did Adam's hair move? -With age, they move here and to the ears.

Look, Blowek is about to break.

-From here to ears. -Yes, this is the process.

-I've got a lot to... -Yep, the ears.

-The ears and the lower area. -Well, the lower area... I don't know.

-From navel all the way down? -That's a major highway.

I don't know, if lower, or perhaps...

-Does the hair stop at the ears? -So you don't have it there...

No, it's not... That I don't have, Kasia.

I just don't know if...

What have I eaten?

-Do you feel bloated? -What does it look like?

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He's funny. I like him.

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And who is about to make Adam laugh? Hello!

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But if you'll call within six seconds,

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...the man is great. Excellent.

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Man is the best. TV Shopping...

He was like a machine gun, delivered so much so quickly...

How did he remember so much text? What the hell was it? Did he... No idea.

This was lit.

Thank you.

I've seen those in TV when I was a kid. Identical.

-Mosquito repellent was great. -I wouldn't risk the suppository, though.

Well...

-Thanks. -Boss.

-It was awfully funny. -Terribly.

-Fate! -Fate!

Why did he go behind the curtain now?

Look.

Darn.

-You want a nut? They are good. -Fine.

I can have your nuts. No problem.

They are tasty, salted.

-Salted. -Not when I bought them.

Can I have almonds?

Have some.

Okay.

Jesus...

Peanuts? No pee-nuts.

Now what?

Who is it? Piotr.

Attention, gong! The gong means performance.

It's a country gig, I can tell. And I love country music.

I came here from Texas, and these are my great brothers.

Come on.

Piotr bends over backwards.

It's light and it's dark.

Bravo!

-Bravo! -Seeya!

-Bravo! -Fricking awesome.

-Yep, it was great. -Difficult.

Excellent. Where did he find these guys?

-Two of them... -Very talented dancers, you know...

In perfect sync...

It's not easy... Not easy...

-Not difficult and not easy. -Well, yes.

Adam even spit on himself.

Gentlemen?

I am taking my button.

And you keep an eye on the tool.

I'll be right back.

-Whose tool? -Be good!

I can do shoulder stand.

If you want to make one more thing, then you can make, for example,

you can make a joke.

And if you call within six seconds, you can make others...

Listen, I'm losing my...

Unfortunately.

Watch out.

Oh, no.

-Who is it now? -Delivery!

Attention.

My dear friends...

One, you still cannot laugh. I have the red button.

And two, the crucial question,

has anyone ordered fried boobs?

Sorry, I meant breasts.

You fry your balls.

Kasia Figura!

I don't believe it.

Impossible. How did it even happen?

Bye.

You'd better watch out.

Hi, Katy Shape. My name is Katy Flower.

I am a supercoach...

of a sensual...

self-discovery.

Are you ready?

Yes!

Okay.

We'd better hold on tight.

What should I do, Katy Shape?

Oh, man...

A lady's hand.

It's my black box.

La boîte noire.

-Oui. -With tools.

The tool number one.

First, there's always a look.

Look. Isabelle Huppert.

I want to see you better.

You!

You!

Well, Adam. You are out of breath.

Run, Adam, run.

Under the eyes.

The bags under your eyes are disturbingly fascinating.

Like dark waters. An ocean. And inky night around.

If only I had more time,

I'd definitely jump in. Naked.

Headfirst.

It was a real pleasure to look at the boys

struggling not to laugh

and not to burst before her.

Look, everybody is doing sad face now.

Stop!

I did not register much,

the blood supply to my brain was cut off.

Tool number two.

Touch!

You seem to like it rough.

Get up.

Get up!

-I am... -Legs further apart.

Yes, ma'am.

-"Yes, ma'am." -He is finished.

Okay, let's begin.

-Begin what? -Off we go.

-With what? -With this.

It will tickle my feet. You can't.

Well, well. And what?

-Feels good. -Now from behind.

-Well. Do you feel it? -I do.

-You do. Okay. -Extremely touching.

-Good boy. -...that was hard.

If Kasia kept on a bit longer and pushed him a little more,

the red card would quickly appear.

Taste!

Taste.

-And smell! -Smell.

Oh, no.

Some treats for you. Sausage, cucumber

and string!

Something for you, Paweł. You like these things.

I volunteer.

Real treats.

Have some.

See Zosia's look. She wants to finish Adam off.

Shoot!

It's Ms. Katy Shape...

Our thoughts are entangled like those rings of sausage.

Like quantum entanglement.

Quel aromate.

Don't tell anyone. I love hunter's sausage.

Let's move. It's a ding!

Be happy you don't bark!

Good one!

Orgasm!

Good.

Stop!

Listen, I've got to go. I have another job.

Now?

Don't!

Listen. It was your priceless,

invaluable and faithful

-Kate Shape! -Kate Shape!

Ciao! Ciao!

-Bravo, Kasia. -Fricking great.

Splendid. Very funny, very good.

Chapeau bas, really.

It's a miracle what she does. She is the one and only.

All we can do is mimic her.

It is our LOL language. Calm down.

We have simply been here for a very long time.

-We've washed dishes... -Good morning.

You'd be surprised if Jędrzejczyk came out.

And who is here... Oh, my!

Joanna, you are here. Oh, no, it's just a cauliflower.

Dorks.

Adam, you are such a funny boy.

He is my wonder child.

-How old is little Adam? -How old are you, dear?

-How many years? -How many years, little one?

-Show us with your fingers. -Really? I don't have enough hands.

I thought it was a little child.

-It is a little child in a big body. -Right.

Piotr is really good.

Attention, Sonia Bohosiewicz.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to propose today a moment of relaxation.

-Adam, hold on. -I'd like you to relax.

At last.

You too, make yourselves comfortable.

Please sit and calm down. Look at me. I'll show you

some of my relaxation techniques.

My first relaxation position

is the position...

Scorpion position.

And now we breathe.

How do we breathe? In this position?

-No. -Let's relax all muscles.

This was scorpion.

Second position.

Happy baby.

The baby wobbles.

There comes the sound, and you think, "Was it what I think it was?"

Now let's move on to position number three.

It's a happy cat.

The cat flexes muscles.

Raises the head.

And flexes back muscles again.

Zosia beautifully cries.

-She already has one foot... -She's almost done for.

Scorpion attacks.

Adam sticks out his tongue. He's in really bad shape.

I was extremally close.

I saw them clinging to the coach.

I think, since they were closer, they could get more.

Shut up.

A cat!

Terribly poignant.

I thought so.

I knew I felt bloated. Thanks a lot, everybody.

You were fantastic.

And now we'll have a shower of cards.

Jesus.

It could have been me.

I'll tell you, in this one, it could have been everybody.

Welcome to our show sponsored by...

Here we go.

Music!

IN NEXT EPISODES

Michał Meyer.

I know what he is capable of.

Blood and balls!

It's a fricking riot!

What I have done I have done for this reason only

Don't make me laugh.

This laugh was like a smack in the face.