All language subtitles for LOL.Last.One.Laughing.Poland.S02E03.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,320 LOL: Last One Laughing Poland 2 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:32,360 Let the madness begin. 3 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:33,640 IN PREVIOUS EPISODES 4 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,200 Yes, this is a sweater. 5 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:39,400 If I die tomorrow, you'll say, "Yesterday he was whittling his stick." 6 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:44,400 I mourn and I cry As I sing this song 7 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:48,480 My pin has proven a little too long 8 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:50,000 Don't wreck the costume! 9 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:53,640 Hold my sausage! 10 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,480 -In tune. -Pumping. 11 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:00,880 Who is this? 12 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,480 Joanna Jędrzejczyk. 13 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,000 Is this guacamole? 14 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:09,720 Green stuff she'll drink. 15 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:17,920 I was shocked to see this woman, an MMA fighter, in our show. 16 00:01:18,039 --> 00:01:19,800 Joanna Jędrzejczyk. 17 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,280 A day like any other, right? 18 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,720 -Attention! -Ladies and Gentlemen. 19 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,160 It's for us, I guess. 20 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:39,200 Zosia, help me. 21 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:49,800 Jędrzejczyk! 22 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,400 Maybe she needs help? 23 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,800 She'll make smoothies for us. 24 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,160 Oh, no. Not like that. 25 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:22,680 Now she randomly chooses cups. 26 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,600 You don't know which cup you'll get. 27 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,560 I happen to have money, 200 PLN. 28 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,160 I bet the ball is under the left cup. 29 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,360 -It's a rampage. -It's cryptic, right? 30 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,960 There is someone underneath. Some little child. 31 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,320 Well, I wouldn't want to be one of the cups. 32 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,120 Or perhaps I would in this show. 33 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,680 When I get hit in the head, 34 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,200 it will hurt like hell and I'll never laugh again. 35 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:07,800 I'll win thanks to Joanna. 36 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,440 Karol is tired of all this training. 37 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:25,560 I was fascinated. 38 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,760 How focused she can be... 39 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,680 How loud she can shout... 40 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:33,120 How expressive... True competence. 41 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,760 We've worked on this gig for a year. 42 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,360 Focus. 43 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,440 No way. 44 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,240 I get it. 45 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:02,800 Interesting. 46 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,560 I did not expect this. 47 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,000 This was so... 48 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:10,080 High regard, that she would do something like that. 49 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,200 That she presented this 50 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:15,160 to such a wooden audience. 51 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:16,440 This is it? 52 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,680 Cool show. Makes you think. 53 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,040 I liked it. 54 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,800 In general, I still don't get what it was about. 55 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:29,440 Excuse me, the ladies did the cooking but they never cleaned up. 56 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,360 -I will clean up. -Good. 57 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,480 I'll clean up. I will. 58 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,800 That's an obvious card. 59 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:40,880 Me again? 60 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,240 Maybe it was me? 61 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,080 Maybe Czarek is coming for me? 62 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:52,360 Okay, who's the goner? 63 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,240 Listen. Wait. Hang on! 64 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,000 I can't be the first one to go. 65 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,160 Our surveillance doesn't miss anything, 66 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,360 and here is the evidence that a laugh was committed. 67 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,160 Oh, no... 68 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,920 -The kitchen. -Michał, my love, you shouldn't have 69 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,360 looked into the refrigerator. 70 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,160 No! 71 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,840 Michał Wójcik. 72 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,400 No! 73 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,880 I don't know why I was tempted to see what's in the refrigerator. 74 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,760 How Joanna could fit in there and so on? 75 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,400 No idea. I opened the refrigerator, 76 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,920 I saw that everything was exactly like before 77 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,760 and this nonsense seemed to me so funny, that I... 78 00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:50,200 I was closing the door... I thought, "Well, how?" And I smiled. 79 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,080 You are welcome to my control room. 80 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:56,800 Pity. 81 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:57,960 Oh, my! 82 00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,200 Thank you. 83 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,720 -You did well. -Darn it... 84 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:02,560 Yes! 85 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,880 I'm not the first one! 86 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,480 That was my only thought. 87 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,840 -Michał? -It's not fair. 88 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,840 Me and my dog will miss you. 89 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:14,200 Come, Michał. 90 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:17,640 I was angry at myself. But what can you do? 91 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,160 I'm a bit of a loser, though. 92 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,920 This is my control room. I see everything from here. 93 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,320 Sit down, my friend. 94 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,640 -Calm down. Relax. -So now I can... 95 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:34,560 You can. 96 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:36,560 No, not this. 97 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,040 Let's move. 98 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:41,960 From now on, no laughing. 99 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,960 -I just... -I can see you. 100 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,560 -We can see you too? -Who was that? 101 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,080 -Michał. -In our imagination, Czarek. 102 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:54,880 At this point 103 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:56,040 my second life has begun. 104 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,120 Fine, it happened. I lost? Doesn't matter. 105 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,120 The fun is here. This one, that one... 106 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,560 Now I can see how many things can be done. 107 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,200 The clock is ticking. 108 00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:12,120 You get those really dumb ideas. 109 00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,160 -Enough. -Did you eat this? 110 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:16,480 No. 111 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,920 -Did you? -No. 112 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,240 It doesn't seem ripe. It's green. 113 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:26,720 Really stupid joke. Terrible. The worst. I promise. 114 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:31,040 Honey, did you just put an ice cube in my briefs? 115 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,080 -What? -Jesus. 116 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,040 Sonia... 117 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:38,040 Inside briefs... 118 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,640 Did you have to put it in the briefs? 119 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,520 Zussamen briefen? 120 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,280 Mr. Jerzy. That's a ridiculous joke. Extremely stupid. 121 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,880 Great, but it really was... 122 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,000 -Do you know what's in my briefs? -No. 123 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,120 An ice cube. 124 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,040 Oh, well. 125 00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:00,800 Really? But from your briefs... I'll skip this one. 126 00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,960 I'm gonna put it into someone's drink. 127 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,440 Very funny joke. 128 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,920 By Ms. Sonia Bohosiewicz. 129 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:12,440 Good. Go Paweł, go... 130 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,240 See this? 131 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,920 Paweł Chałupka is now preparing for his performance. 132 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,440 I need also... 133 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,360 The beard. 134 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:21,880 And the other stuff. 135 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:26,240 Last time on a movie set, I had this... What was it called? 136 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:27,960 -Wait. -Covid! 137 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,480 No. 138 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,039 Oh, Jesus. At last. 139 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,480 -You heard? -I heard. 140 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:36,640 A good one. 141 00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:37,960 Nice. 142 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,120 But I feel better now... Thanks. 143 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,080 Did you crack yourself up? 144 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,880 I don't believe it. Jerzy Kryszak... 145 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,480 I wanted one more... Didn't work the second time. 146 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:57,720 All my gases were gone. 147 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,720 Paweł Chałupka. 148 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,040 Will he surprise us? 149 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,080 Ladies and gentlemen, 150 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:14,120 welcome to my magical event, event, event... 151 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:21,160 It was the wind. Blew out his wizard's hat. 152 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,840 -What will we see today? -First, I want to 153 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,880 congratulate you. 154 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,160 You are the chosen ones! 155 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,840 Destiny chose you 156 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,440 to learn about your future. 157 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,640 I've got to make them laugh. 158 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,240 If it doesn't happen, 159 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:41,000 if I get nothing... I'll quit stand-up. There will be no point. 160 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,520 My name is... 161 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:45,880 Fortuneteller Andrzej. 162 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,520 Welcome. This will be the best time of your lives, lives, lives... 163 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,720 Jerzy is almost done. Look. 164 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,440 -If he touches his hair, he's almost done. -Yep. 165 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:57,880 At the beginning we'll check 166 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,280 what my crystal crutch 167 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,760 will tell about your futures. 168 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:04,120 Let's see. 169 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,080 This one never works. Let's try this one. 170 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:17,160 Like a disco. 171 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,320 Amazing. 172 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,400 Now I can see clearly. 173 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,280 I should get rid of the beard. 174 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,760 -Paweł! -Paweł... 175 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,520 -The ball is mistaken. -Bravo. 176 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,000 We won't need it. 177 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:30,200 Bravo! 178 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,080 I knew that I'll miss. I saw it in the ball. 179 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,080 Adam reacted perfectly. 180 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,280 No problem. Congrats, young man. Bravo. 181 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,080 Not that young, but... 182 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,200 As a reward for you, 183 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:45,960 we'll see what the cards will tell 184 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,600 about your future. 185 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:48,960 Cards. Look. 186 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,840 Choose one card. 187 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,120 -Well, mister, you know... -Take it! 188 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,440 Remember it. 189 00:10:58,520 --> 00:10:59,360 Without looking. 190 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,080 -Menu card. -Okay. 191 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,840 Last thing I saw was pea soup. 192 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,280 Is this the card? 193 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:15,120 Not bad. It could have been beetroot leaf soup 194 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:16,400 or tripe. 195 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,080 Pea soup is really okay. 196 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,360 The soup of the day will 197 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,920 help you meet the best Polish physicians. 198 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,480 But let's find out, young man, what will happen in your love life. 199 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:28,400 Cool. 200 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,560 I've got special cards here. 201 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,080 ...not the right deck. 202 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,080 Sorry. 203 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:47,840 This one was for an after-party. The prediction doesn't count. No problem. 204 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,360 I am confident 205 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,400 that your palms will reveal your future. 206 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,000 That's how true love begins. 207 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,600 You don't wash after pissing. 208 00:11:58,680 --> 00:11:59,960 Fine, I don't either. 209 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:05,360 There's more bad news. Your penis transplant will be rejected. 210 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,680 That was hard. 211 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,080 Small one will have to do. 212 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,120 No, it was... 213 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,640 Extremally hard. 214 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,120 But don't worry. 215 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,600 Oh, no. Excuse me. It's my palm. 216 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:23,480 You scared me. 217 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,520 Pity. I was counting on the transplant. 218 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,480 -So mine will not be rejected? -Right. 219 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,200 Tough. Anyway, thanks for your time. 220 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,920 If not for this mistaken palm, it would've worked better. 221 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,440 -Fine. -Without the mistake, it would... 222 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,080 -I'll see you in the future. -Thanks! 223 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,200 -Thank you, pal. -Thanks! 224 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:44,240 That's the worst thing that can happen to a comedian. 225 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,560 You are trying to make someone laugh 226 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,120 and that person doesn't do it. 227 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,960 You feel that you're burning inside. 228 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,160 -It was cool. I liked it. -Great. 229 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,080 I liked it! 230 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,120 It is like botched move on a girl. 231 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,200 You are asking her for a number, 232 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,440 and she goes, "I don't even have a boyfriend, but I'll never talk to you." 233 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,360 That's more or less the same. 234 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,120 -Congrats once more. -Bravo. 235 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:07,920 -Thank you very much. -Bravo. 236 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,760 -Thanks. It's very hot. -Where? 237 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,280 -Up there? -When you are burning on stage. 238 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,400 We still have time for the best performance. 239 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,080 Oh, no. I can't take it. 240 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:33,320 Where did you get this coffee? Can we drink it together? 241 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,920 It's not mine. I didn't drink it. I drank water. 242 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,880 Do you want to drink with me? 243 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,440 -I just wanted a sip. -I will, but I drink like a dog. 244 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,800 What do you mean you drink like a dog? 245 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,080 I slurp and use my tongue... 246 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,680 -May I? -Sure. 247 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,240 Bad boy... 248 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:58,080 Bravo. Right away. Bravo. 249 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,080 It was a blow with a hatchet. 250 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,160 Dear friends, help me. 251 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,120 I need to get where you are. 252 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,920 -Will someone help me move? -Yep. 253 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,160 Perhaps someone strong? 254 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,760 Adam is stunned, look. He is in shock. 255 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:20,360 -Can we just drag you? -Preserve my dignity. 256 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,440 Hey! 257 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:22,360 Dignity. 258 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,240 Keep my dignity! 259 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:27,880 -Oh, no. -Come on. 260 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,080 -God. -How do you keep your dignity? 261 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,920 -Thanks. -How do you move fish with dignity? 262 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,560 -A big fish. -Take care of my hair. 263 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,320 Holy smoke. 264 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,440 -Lord. -Your regular big fish. 265 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,520 Very lightweight, this siren. 266 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,640 My father drove a Polish car called Siren. 267 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:45,680 The son of a Siren. 268 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,600 Hey, Siren, beautiful armpit hair. 269 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,480 -I need a little help. -Blond hair. 270 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,280 Go on spraying. If he dries off, he's a goner. 271 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,720 Fascinating tidbit. Sirens do not stink like fish. 272 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,440 Who would have thought, right? 273 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,600 It is my first time on the surface. 274 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,200 I hear you are interested in sirens. 275 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,280 So I came to answer your questions. 276 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,400 Jerzy is about to break, I think. 277 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:11,040 It's just got through to him. An intelligent gag. 278 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,880 But... I have a few requests. 279 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:17,280 -I hear you like to play with hair. -You've got a problem with hair. 280 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,680 Leave the hair alone. 281 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:22,640 -It fell off. -You fish... 282 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,040 You fish! 283 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:26,720 -I'll be damned. -Adam? 284 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,440 Can you help me with my hair like you always do? 285 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:30,480 Well... 286 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:34,840 I can see it all and I'm trying not to laugh. 287 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,120 Look, Blowek is on the edge. 288 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,680 Zosia as well. 289 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:43,760 Wait, how do you put it on? You need to hold it on your forehead. 290 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,120 Now throw it back. 291 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,320 Oh, yeah! 292 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:49,800 -Adam? -You're crying! 293 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,960 -Yes, you are... -Shut up. 294 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:53,480 Oh, God. 295 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,320 -You're crying... -Don't come near me. 296 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,200 -You're crying... -No! 297 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,360 I never knew, Adam, that you make such a nice fish. 298 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:05,600 Adam, seat. Unsatisfactory. 299 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,160 -If only I had such hair... -Tell us about yourself, Siren. 300 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,920 I came here to answer your questions. 301 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,720 -I have a question. -I was first. 302 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,120 Should I take a loan now? 303 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,440 Loan? No. It's not a good time. 304 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:17,840 Siren, what's your name? 305 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,960 -Me? -What's your name? 306 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:20,880 Andrzej. 307 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:27,880 Am I in big trouble or what? 308 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,400 I need someone to brush my hair, 309 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,560 and also attach attachments. 310 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,840 -Adam? -Attach attachments... 311 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:38,240 Jerzy will not survive. He knows it. 312 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:39,880 -Perhaps Jerzy would attach. -Jerzy? 313 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,600 -Do you want me to attach the attachment? -Please do attach. 314 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,160 Suddenly I went weak. 315 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,200 He was hitting the belt, 316 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,080 and in a moment he'll hit below the belt. 317 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,120 I saw he was aiming "below the belt." 318 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,200 Why such a long face? Come here. 319 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,240 -No. -Come here, mortal woman. 320 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:56,480 Come to me. 321 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:57,840 Come. 322 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,520 -Come to me. -There will be no second chance. 323 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,359 Maciej, what a scumbag. He just wouldn't let go of me. 324 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,480 He wouldn't and... 325 00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:08,960 -Quiet. -Come to me. 326 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,480 -To me. -Don't take it away. 327 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,960 To me! 328 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,440 Zosia is very close. 329 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:16,319 -She'll break. -Yep. 330 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:17,440 Exactly. 331 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,960 -Hey, fish, don't go crazy. -Siren? 332 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,400 I have found here... 333 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,680 -I found it. -You found it? 334 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,079 -I've no idea, what it is. -It's bubbles. 335 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,720 -May I? -I got the permission. 336 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:32,320 -I can puff bubbles on the siren. -And I can puff farts. 337 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:38,080 -Suddenly it got so nice in here. -Perhaps we'll sing something together. 338 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:39,560 Great, just something in tune. 339 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,160 Primal sounds, please. 340 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,240 Adam will do the solo. 341 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,160 You summon. Summon toward the water. 342 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:53,640 -I summon you toward water. -No, sing. 343 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,560 And summon. 344 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:01,040 What the hell is this all about? 345 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,560 Fine. Fish, I've got a question for you. Can you float out of here? 346 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,200 Thanks... Finally. 347 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,520 I thought it will never end. 348 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:11,760 -Good. -See this? 349 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,920 Guys, it wasn't a real siren. What a trick! 350 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,720 -No! -It's definitely me. 351 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,280 I thought, "When? 352 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:22,800 "When did I smile?" 353 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,800 -You? -You did laugh. 354 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:30,000 -Now we can laugh? -I invite all of you here. 355 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,400 -We've got a serious situation. -No... 356 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,520 It's me. 357 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:41,520 Me! 358 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,280 -Not me! -Me. 359 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,440 Jerzy! 360 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,560 I was convinced that it was you... 361 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,800 I knew I'd go first! 362 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,520 I know that it's so easy to catch me. 363 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,320 I can't cut it. I smile right away. 364 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:02,200 -It must have happened. -Come with me. 365 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,680 -Jerzy... -No! 366 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,320 -Jerzy! -I can't believe. 367 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:11,880 I am a little sad, but I think he did well. Lasted for so long. 368 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,320 -With a gag like that... -So long, fisherman. 369 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,800 It has been an honor, Grandpa. 370 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,800 -The fish cracked you up. -See ya, fellows. 371 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:22,960 Bye. 372 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,800 Don't take Jerzy away from us. He is so cool. 373 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,920 Who will now finish whittling the stick? 374 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,680 -Bye. -I'll miss you. 375 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,160 -I'll be seeing you. Jerzy, come. -I'm coming! 376 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,000 -Bye. See ya, man. -Time is money. 377 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,800 -You have finished him off. -Bye. 378 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,760 -Let's go Jerzy. -Time is money. 379 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:41,800 It lifts a weight off my mind. From now on 380 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,280 I won't have to keep a straight face and pretend that I am somewhere else. 381 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:49,440 I can normally take part in the show 382 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,880 on the other side. 383 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,680 I will be complete and legitimate participant, 384 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,640 taking advantage of everything that's happening there. 385 00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,480 I want to tell you Jerzy, that for me it was a real pleasure, 386 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,760 when I saw you entering the studio. 387 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,240 I was happy too. 388 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:05,160 Attention! 389 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,240 Green button and no more laughing. 390 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,080 Okay. 391 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,160 Now here are three of us. 392 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,680 -Three friends from a football field. -And look at the bench. 393 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,200 -One hell of a bench. -Listen. 394 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,680 But let's sum up what happened here... 395 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:25,080 -Sorry. -Oh no! 396 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:27,880 Look, just one hour ago, he sat there... Doing what? 397 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,680 Sat there whittling his stick. 398 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,320 Just a moment ago he was whittling his stick. 399 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:36,040 -Suddenly I feel so sad. -Me too. 400 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,000 -He didn't finish up his cookie. -Perhaps he took the stick. 401 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,800 Even the stick is gone. 402 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,080 Darn, he took everything. 403 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,000 -He took the pocket knife. -All we have left are the memories. 404 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:48,800 -And shavings. -Excuse me. 405 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:50,560 Yes. 406 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:54,440 Shavings are all we have left 407 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:59,960 Why did you take Jerzy away Czarek, we beg 408 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,280 Give us Jerzy back 409 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,800 That's all I came up with for now, but perhaps I'll record it someday. 410 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:10,080 I have a real bomb for them. 411 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,800 It's a wolf in sheep's clothing. 412 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,960 Sebastian Stankiewicz. 413 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,080 No. Really, no. 414 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,680 I am..., right? Done, finished. 415 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,040 I will not survive. 416 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:34,320 I'm just gonna have fun. 417 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:35,800 He doesn't have to do anything. 418 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,920 -I don't believe. -No. 419 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,440 Oh, no. Someone must break. 420 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,960 Do not laugh. Just don't. 421 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,000 Mummy. 422 00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:45,120 Zosia is gone. 423 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,160 Where the hell he's got another flap 424 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,880 to really surprise me? 425 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:00,720 ...what? 426 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:10,280 I consider him a real... A true artist. 427 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,960 Shoot. This is rough. 428 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,600 He is amazing. 429 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,600 The sponsor of this show, Gary Drumroll Company. 430 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,640 Drums, cymbals, quick exchange of drumsticks. 431 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,280 Sabęcin, Pyla Street 2. 432 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:37,160 You better stick with us. 433 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,200 We loved it. 434 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,680 Well? Feeling dumb? One can come up with a gag? 435 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:02,760 -One can. -One can. 436 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:06,960 I was only counting that he wouldn't go all the way and unclothe completely. Phew. 437 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,680 And he could do this. Believe me, he could easily get there. 438 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,960 I found it very funny. This is my sense of humor. 439 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:16,760 -Not sure if I should be proud, though. -I wanna show you a trick, 440 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:18,200 -Don't... -No. 441 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,160 Soap bubbles. I really drank the stuff. 442 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:23,480 Jesus. 443 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,280 You are crazy, man. 444 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:28,840 Fricking lifehack. 445 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:31,080 Yeah... 446 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:32,600 Well... 447 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,760 Piotr, listen. I understand everything, 448 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,200 -but I'm afraid... -That something will happen to you. 449 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,800 The bubbles just went out of his butt? 450 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:44,120 Out of his butt. 451 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:46,560 We are crossing all borders, so... 452 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:48,280 Congratulations. 453 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:53,360 It's incredible how motivated he is, right? 454 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,640 I think you would like this. 455 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:56,560 Show me. 456 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,480 Okay, who wants to play in fruits? 457 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,320 -What kind of game is it? -I want to play any game. 458 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:03,520 -Good. -Jeez. 459 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,200 I sat on something wet. 460 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:09,000 -She is doing it to everybody. -We can play in citrus fruits and... 461 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:11,800 -She mustn't do it. -Okay. 462 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,680 If you want to play this way, I'll tickle you with broccoli. 463 00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,760 -Simple joke, yet funny. -Did you leave me a poop? 464 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:22,480 -Who wants to play in lemons? -What... They're playing with fruits. 465 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,760 -Do you want to play? -Yes. Can I join? 466 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:28,440 -That's great. -Watch out. 467 00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,160 Seven, fifteen, twenty-four, thirty. I had this one. 468 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:35,960 I scored a point. 469 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,120 -Your turn. -What now? 470 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,040 -You throw. -And now... 471 00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:42,640 -Doesn't matter to whom? -You make lemonade. 472 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,040 -No. You lose. -Why? 473 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:47,440 One jumped out. 474 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:53,560 -The score is 7:0. -No. I have one point now. 475 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,040 -But what it's about? -You'll get it soon. 476 00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:58,360 -I don't get it at all. -You throw lemons. 477 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:03,080 -Lemons or all citrus fruits? -I'll explain. The orange counts. 478 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,040 -Well, sorry... -What is this game about? 479 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:07,800 Five, three, twelve. I score. 480 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,600 -I've got two points now. -Somehow Maciej always wins. 481 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:15,720 It was nonsensical. I don't like games in which rules are made for one player. 482 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,160 But this game... This was a pure nonsense. 483 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:23,400 -Now toward you. -Fascinating is this game in lemons. 484 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,080 -In citrus fruits. -This is... 485 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:29,040 -We won't get anywhere with this. I see... -On a citrus fruits market often... 486 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,280 Adam, I can see you want to join us. 487 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:34,200 Forget it. 488 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,240 This is one of my best jokes. 489 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,760 This is one of your best jokes? 490 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,040 Well, man, top notch I'll tell you. 491 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:47,400 Maciej, he's right. 492 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:50,840 Karol is... On his last legs. 493 00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,720 About to break. He even seems swollen. 494 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,480 My grandpa, when he farted, 495 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:04,880 always blamed the dog. 496 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,840 He used to say, "It was Aza!" Then Aza died, but he still blamed her. 497 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,080 We had cats. It's more difficult to blame a cat for farting. 498 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,440 -What? -Difficult to blame a cat for farting. 499 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:18,880 -Blowek! -Final round. 500 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,600 -Sit down. -Do you have a rabbit? 501 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,000 Jeez, another magic trick. 502 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,920 I'd like to introduce, or perhaps show you, 503 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,640 my little cuties. 504 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,080 And talk about people's reactions to them. 505 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,840 I understand fear. My grandma, before we went to bed, 506 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:39,320 used to tell us this old ditty, 507 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:43,320 "Don't touch your winkle when you sleep Devil will steal it from you and eat." 508 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:46,120 You didn't have that... 509 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:53,280 It was a first-grader's joke, and this made it so funny. 510 00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:57,400 Fine, but how can you be afraid of something so sweet, 511 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,760 innocent and small like these rodents. 512 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,280 Perhaps my perception a little biased, 513 00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:05,800 for they are part of my life ever since I remember. 514 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:09,040 I don't care if they are small, large, grey, white or black. 515 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:12,640 I love them all and I'll tell you more, 516 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:16,840 touching them, stroking, 517 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,400 generally playing with them, 518 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,600 gives me an intense physical pleasure. 519 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,400 So here you go, please meet my mice. 520 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,320 But... 521 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,520 Pure nonsense. 522 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:34,920 What was that about? No idea. 523 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,560 -How do you like them? -They are so... 524 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,160 -Are they vaccinated? -Yes. And they don't bite. 525 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:41,960 Ow! 526 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:44,800 May I spin the wheel? 527 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,080 -You may even touch one. -You've got a lot. May I buy one? 528 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,040 -They are sweet. -They breed so fast. 529 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:53,160 -This one I like best. -Do you have any with no tail? 530 00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:55,120 -This one. -For example... 531 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,600 -Okay, leave it. -Hey, it bit me. 532 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:03,320 Fine, leave it, you have no respect for animals. 533 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:04,520 Good. 534 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,120 Well, he might be the dark horse of this show. 535 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,920 -It bit me, I'm sorry, but I panicked. -I thought you'd understand me. 536 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,680 My passion, my performance. 537 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:15,520 It's great. 538 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:17,840 Thanks. 539 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:20,160 Bravo. 540 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:22,240 Excuse me. 541 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,040 -They squeak. -Jeez, so loud. 542 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,920 They are scared. It's a whole new setting for them. 543 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,880 He should be changing the sawdust more often. Plenty of shit in there. 544 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,280 -What? -We must make an alliance. 545 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,680 -I'll put down 160 PLN. -All right. 546 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,720 And you find people who will laugh for money. 547 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:42,760 -This way, we'll make it to the finals. -They wouldn't laugh for 160. 548 00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:45,840 -Who? -Jesus! 36558

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.