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Previously, on Family Law...

I'd also like you to start working with your brother,

as his junior.

[both] What?

I was already in law school when you were still...

masturbating into a gym sock.

Abigail, your presence on the website

will do the firm more harm than good.

I'm sure you understand.

I get it.

Besides, I've never been in your family photos.

Why start now?

Listen to me, you little turd biscuit,

you touch my son again,

and I will destroy you.

As fun as it is, looking at donor profiles,

it's also "Dyke Night" at Velvet.

I'm wiped.

Long day?

[women groaning]

If you hadn't had an affair with a woman named "Felicity"--

I didn't mean for it to happen.

[♪]

Oh! Sweetheart. Stop tormenting yourself.

She's in Chicago.

It's not a hop, skip, and a jump.

Yeah, but that conference where she and Frank...

it's on again next month.

In San Diego.

Is he going?

I don't know.

I thought he told you he severed all contact with her.

He did. I believe him.

Except when I don't.

Abby, it was one night. A blip.

If you ask me,

his biggest mistake was telling you about it.

Well, if you ask me, his biggest mistake was f--

[kettle whistles]

[♪]

[doorbell chimes]

Sofe! Nico!

Butts in gear! Your chariot awaits.

I need to put in our benefits claim.

You still haven't given me your therapy receipts.

Good morning to you, too.

- Hey. - Sorry.

'Morning.

You look nice.

Better.

But I do need those receipts.

You are going, right?

Yes! Of course. I'm court-mandated, remember?

Any, uh... work travel coming up?

- No. Why? - Mom!

[♪]

Mm. Hello.

Hi!

After you.

[♪]

Here you go, cutie.

Are you sure this is okay?

I don't want you getting in trouble.

I think you mean "more trouble".

No, I know the law.

Sidewalks are public property.

I'm not violating my ban.

Words no child should ever hear their mother say.

Hey.

We'll watch you go in.

One thing I bet you didn't know

is that you can't lick your own elbow.

Huh.

Come on, I'll walk you to class.

Anyone hassles you, I'll kick 'em in the nuts.

[♪]

17 storeys, 5,912 phone steps.

17 storeys, 6,391.

I win.

Oh, I have a longer stride.

Oh! [laughs]

Oh, hi, Abby.

Danny, don't just stand there. Help your sister.

Have a great day, Pooh Bear.

Mm, you too...

Little 'Roo.

[Abby snickers]

She's like your very own Mini Me.

You, but with a woo-woo.

What's it like, having sex with yourself?

[bag thuds]

What's it like, living with your mom at age 40?

What's it like

manscaping to overcompensate for your lack of personality?

Lucy says you're compelled to mock happy couples

because you're miserable and alone, so.

Okay, you two. Play nice.

[♪]

- Was that--? - Yes.

- From The Real-- - Yes.

She was one of the nastier ones.

Not that I ever watched.

Yup. She's willing to drag her divorce on for years,

just to make her ex suffer.

Me, I'll suffer all the way to the bank.

The briefs you asked me to review.

You're welcome.

You've never thanked me for giving you this job.

Why would I thank you for doing it?

[♪]

Saw that.

Marlee should be the one to move out, not me.

I paid for the house, now I'm the one couchsurfing?

Because you left me, Dwight, you gelatinous cube.

I had no choice, you displacer beast!

Enough with the Dungeons & Dragons insults.

- Wait, how did you-- - Let's stay on point.

My client wants the house, and custody of the children.

Sure, that makes sense, since he works 12 hours a day

and I'm a stay-at-home mom.

A stay-at-home mom who's having a round-the-clock affair.

I'm not having an affair!

My colleague knows as well as I do,

extramarital affairs are irrelevant

when it comes to custody.

But negligent parenting isn't.

She's frakkin' this guy all the time,

even when the children are there.

You don't believe me?

See for yourself.

Whoa, whoa-- whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!

You recorded my gaming?

What is this?

"Second Life." A VR game.

That's her avatar, Gefion, on top of his avatar, Freyr.

["Gefion"] Ravage me, Freyr!

[groans] Ravage me

with your hot,

throbbing

Viking manhood!

Your client spends so much time in the virtual world,

we have legitimate concerns

for the children's safety and emotional well-being

in the real one.

I'll be filing a motion

requesting Dwight Hartford get possession of the family home

and full custody of the children.

["couple" climaxing loudly]

♪ You can't prove it

♪ Uh-oh

♪ You got nothing legit

♪ Uh-oh

♪ The glove don't fit

♪ Uh-oh

♪ You gotta acquit

♪ Uh-oh

♪ The charges won't stick 'cos

♪ I ain't no sucker

♪ Ain't your lollipop but

♪ You can kiss my sweet

♪ Uh-huh

♪ Never gonna stop Never gonna stop... ♪

♪ Never gonna stop Never gonna stop ♪

♪ You can't prove it

♪ Uh-oh

[Jerri] That's just ridiculous.

If you tried that in real life, you'd put out your back.

Or worse, lose an eye.

[chuckling]

Marlee's agreed to have a monitoring device

installed on her computer.

It'll track the hours she spends on Second Life.

Results will go to all parties?

Lucy, could you do a home assessment?

Sure thing.

Abby, go with her.

We need Marlee's signature for the monitoring device.

[hits keys]

[game theme plays]

Okay, it's beyond weird, but is it cheating?

Of course, it's cheating.

She's having sex with another man.

No, her avatar is having sex with another avatar.

It's not like she's having sex with strangers in bars.

If there's no penetration,

it's not infidelity, as simple as that.

[click]

So, in your moral universe,

you could've had phone sex every night

while you were married to any one of our moms,

and it wouldn't have been cheating?

Nope.

And that is why you will die alone.

Charming.

[Lucy exhales]

A healthy fantasy life is good for a relationship,

but if it's not mutual,

at the very least, it's emotional infidelity.

I never cheated.

No. You're a serial monogamist.

Speaking of which, when's your anniversary?

Two years of living together on the 28th.

[Lucy chuckles]

He'll break up with her before then,

that way he avoids common law.

Is it true, Pooh?

Danielle and I are doing

just fine, thank you very much.

That's what you said about Hannah.

And Alix.

And Georgia.

[game theme plays]

[♪]

- Hey! - Hi.

How old are the kids?

Uh, four and five.

When did you move to Vancouver?

Three years ago, from Regina.

Dwight got an awesome job at a gaming company.

I tried to get a job there too, last year.

I'm actually more qualified than he is.

Let me guess.

They didn't think

you could work the long hours?

So, here I am.

Livin' the dream.

Do you have a community here?

Oh, please.

This town is brutal.

Everyone's, like, mountain climbing

or doing something else that requires Gore-Tex.

Gore-Tex-- the fabric of choice for fashion don'ts.

[♪]

This is where I play.

Only when the kids aren't around,

or if they're asleep.

Uh, i-isn't that your avatar?

Yeah.

Freyr and Gefion.

You know the Vikings of Valhalla comic series, right?

- Uh, no. - Sure thing.

Yeah, Dwight and I are huge fans.

We met when he accidentally goosed me with his sword

at ComiCon 2013 lineup,

and then a week later,

he said, "Ashau nashveh tu"

on the Jumbotron at the Star Trek convention.

It, um, means "I love you" in Vulcan.

He always was a master at grand gestures.

[Abby] No wonder they're headed for divorce.

Did you see those mannequins?

Ugh.

And Second Life?

A haven for lonely geeks to play make-believe

so they can forget how crappy their real lives are.

How '90s of you, Abby.

It's hugely popular.

And for the record, geeks rule the world now.

Your age is showing.

[Abby] You have got to be kidding me.

[♪]

Hey!

That cost me 50 bucks!

You. Get outta here. Now.

Now!

Did you even go to school today?

Yes. I just skipped French.

With a boy who looks like a young Charles Manson.

What? His name is Justin and he's really nice.

Hi, Aunt Lucy.

Hey, Sofe.

How old is he?

15.

Let me tell you something.

No 15-year old boy is nice.

They are all ruled by their penises.

Mom!

That's a sweeping generalization.

Back off, Auntie!

I'm taking you back to school.

Now.

Please don't tell Dad.

You know I can't do that.

Please! I'll...

I'll come to that dinner with you and Nico on Wednesday night.

Wait. Are you trying to bribe me?

Deal.

Shut up.

I didn't say anything.

Oh, "marriage is built on a foundation of trust,"

blah-diddy-blah.

I can read your judgy therapist thoughts.

[♪]

[text alert chimes]

[keys start clicking]

Hey.

[yelps] Ahh! You scared me.

Ohh.

[♪]

What? I'm totally on time.

On time is late.

I checked scheduling. We've got Judge Natali.

[groans] Oh, shit.

Is that a problem?

She's the one who gave Frank temporary custody of our kids.

So she makes reasoned decisions.

Sorry. I just gotta... tie my shoe.

Your shoes don't have laces.

Ah. Your old boss.

Is there anyone here you don't need to avoid?

Come on, just do me a solid, will ya?

Fine.

You're good. He's gone.

Shit!

What the fudge, Daniel?

Marlee is a dedicated mother.

She drives the kids to school, to activities,

doctor's appointments, makes the meals--

she does all the actual parenting

while Dwight is at work.

To give Mr. Hartford custody

would mean the kids would be raised by a nanny,

and we've all seen the results of the monitoring device.

Mrs. Liu-Hartford spends two hours a day

on Second Life, at most.

It's our view that Mr. Hartford is motivated by jealousy

of an avatar.

Uh, Your Honour,

I ask leave of the court to introduce new evidence.

Be my guest, counsel.

My client installed a keystroker

on the kids' shared laptop.

[Daniel] Your Honour, that's spyware, it's not admissible.

It is! Parents are allowed

to surveil their children's property.

Your client thought this laptop wouldn't be monitored,

so she used it instead.

Say she spends longer than two hours a day on her hobby.

So what?

Fathers come home from a long day at work

and they stick their noses in their phones all night.

Why do we always hold mothers to a higher standard?

[Judge] Spare me the soapbox, Ms. Bianchi.

Your client is on Second Life 16 hours a day.

And she used her young children's laptop...

to play a sex game.

[Judge] This is not a hobby, counsel.

This is an addiction.

Mrs. Liu-Hartford pulled the wool over your eyes.

But we already know that addicts are very good liars.

I want a progress report in one week.

If I don't see that you are doing what you can

to address this addiction,

I will take Mr. Hartford's motion for temporary custody

into serious consideration.

Adjourned.

[gavel bangs]

Can you believe that Dwight spied on me?

And no way was I on for 16 hours a day.

That spyware malfunctioned.

Marlee, stop.

Make an appointment with a therapist.

Delete Second Life from all of your devices.

Go to Online Gamers Anonymous.

Agree to let us monitor every device in your home.

If you don't want to lose your kids,

you've got to follow the judge's requirements.

And if you lie to me again,

you can find yourself a new lawyer.

[♪]

I know it must seem crazy,

spending that much time in a fantasy world.

But what I have with online Freyr,

it's so much deeper

than anything I've had with Dwight in a long time.

I don't expect you to understand.

I know what it's like

to overindulge in something

when you're feeling undervalued and unloved.

You do?

Yeah, I found out

some troubling news about my husband,

so I went a bit off the rails--

and boom, the next thing you know,

Natali has given my husband temporary custody of our kids.

She did that?

You know, and I know,

that not one person should have to carry all the blame,

but Natali's...

not so good at seeing the shades of grey.

So what do I do?

I don't want to lose my kids.

Okay, well, you want my advice?

Go to the meetings, therapy--

do the blah-diddy-blah for the optics,

but the simplest thing you can do?

Get off Second Life.

Just quit.

It's what I did.

Really?

Yeah, cold turkey.

It was that simple.

[♪]

[exercise bikes whizzing]

[ding]

[ding]

[man] Hello. Dr. Cameron's office.

Uh, yeah, I have an appointment with Dr. Cameron

tomorrow morning at 9:00.

Okay. Who may I ask is calling?

Abigail Bianchi.

And what is this regarding, Ms. Bianchi?

Yeah, I'm gonna have to cancel.

Again?

Yes, again.

[chuckles] What can I say? Life's busy.

You realize our policy is

to charge you if you're cancelling?

I know you have to charge me.

Just, uh, email me the receipt.

[♪]

One date for $100, three for two.

All right, put me down for the 14th.

I am e-transferring to you now.

Want in on the office pool?

$100 lets you guess which day Daniel breaks up with Danielle

before their two-year anniversary.

Oh! Daddy's girl has a mean streak.

[chuckles] Daddy's girl makes half of what Daniel makes.

Mm, well, Daddy's paying this girl

less than half of what Daniel makes, so, uh...

put me down for the 11th.

[bill rustling]

[♪]

Dwight and I used to have so much fun together.

He was the Freyr to my Gefion.

Can you pinpoint when things started to change?

Sure.

Having kids.

Don't get me wrong. I love 'em like stink.

But anyone who says children don't change a relationship

is lying.

That, coupled with the move,

leaving family and friends behind...

I've been a stay-at-home mom

for five years.

Hmm. You must feel lonely sometimes.

Some women are so good at it...

...but... [sighs]

[voice cracks] I'm so bored.

And I'm so boring.

And I think that Dwight thinks so, too,

because it's like he's...

stopped... seeing me.

In Second Life, with Freyr, I feel...

You feel seen.

Yeah.

[sniffles]

I like talking to you, Ms. Svensson.

It's a lot more than just a bunch of blah-diddy-blah.

[♪]

[footsteps]

Did you honestly tell Marlee to "just quit" Second Life?

And to go to therapy, but only for the optics,

because it's just a bunch of "blah-diddy-blah"?

No. I don't believe those were my exact words.

You hear that?

She went behind your back

and gave your client highly-troubling advice.

Mm.

And you went behind my back to start a betting pool

to see when I'll break up with the woman

who's quite possibly the love of my life.

So to hell with both of you.

[Abby chuckling]

I am begging you,

please do not tell him I placed a bet.

Cecil, you've been monitoring

the devices at Marlee's house, right?

Yeah.

How many hours has she logged on Second Life?

Zero.

But it's like when I was a kid,

my mom wouldn't let me play Farmville,

I'd just go to a friend's house or go to the library.

You know, log in from a different IP address.

[♪]

[Abby] Seriously, Cecil?

You've given me balloon tits.

Come on, make them smaller.

Smaller.

Most people build hotter versions of themselves, is all.

Not that you're not already.

I mean...

How do you know all this?

'Cause I have a Second Life account.

Not for sex!

I'm building my dream house.

I designed it,

and now I'm buying furniture that other users have designed.

Mm-hmm.

So you're saying you spend real money

on cartoon furniture

in a video game?

It is not a "video game".

You're making it sound weird.

It's a virtual society.

You can be anyone you want.

If you're old, you can be young.

If you're in a wheelchair, you can fly.

And who are you on there?

Do you know where Marlee spends most of her time in the world?

Valhalla.

All right. Let's take your avatar there.

[Abby] Who's that?

Oh, that's me.

[Cecil] Nice house.

[Abby] There she is.

[Cecil] You should see mine.

Is that them?

[groans] Oh.

[click]

Yeah, who needs blah-diddy-blah?

Cold turkey works every time.

[♪]

Hi!

I know you're still on Second Life.

No. No, I'm not.

Marlee, don't bullshit a bullshitter.

And it doesn't matter anyway,

because I tracked down "Freyr."

How did you--

I have a private investigator.

His real name is Herbert Dyckman.

Lives in Surrey,

and he's dying to meet "Gefion".

[Marlee balks]

He's here?

Mm-hmm. In that very coffee shop.

I don't think I want to do this.

Oh, no, no. You're doing it.

It's about time you get a cold, hard dose of reality,

because we both know "Freyr"

is really some slob living in his mom's basement

with mustard stains on his shirt

and Dorito dust around his mouth.

[snaps fingers]

[background chatter, quiet and indistinct]

Herbert Dyckman?

[angelic chorus plays]

[♪]

Gefion?

You look exactly like your avatar.

You... don't.

[cell phone rings]

You're way prettier in real life.

Uh, you might have to excuse me for a minute here.

Fine. Go.

Yeah, I don't think I should leave you.

-[ringing] - Buh-bye now.

Frank, I'm kind of in the middle of something.

Sofia's school just called. She hasn't been there all day.

What? They're only letting you know now?

I'm just picking up messages, I've been in court all day.

Well, why didn't they call me?

You're not on the list anymore.

- That is so messed-up. - She's not answering her phone.

Do you have any idea where she might be?

Gimme a second.

[boop]

[chimes]

She's at the house.

H-How do you know that?

Because I added myself to her tracking app

when she wasn't looking, okay?

And clearly, it's a good thing I did!

It's the only way I could find out where my children are.

Oh, god.

What?

Charles Manson kid.

What if she's with Charles Manson kid?

[Kyle] This 50-50 custody thing,

it isn't working.

Seriously, Kyle?

Why is that?

I thought you were both happy with my arbitration.

It's, uh, Parker's new boyfriend.

Doug.

Doug is ruining all the hard work

I've put into training Craig.

Craig is learning terrible habits.

Look at him!

You can see he-- he's distressed.

[panting]

[Parker] Please.

He's just jealous because I've moved on

and he hasn't.

I knew you were gonna say that, so I brought proof.

Hmm?

Where did you get those photos?

You uploaded them to our shared account.

[Parker] You are such a loser.

"Doug" lets Craig up on the couch.

He lets him eat off the table!

[Parker, scoffing] Way to go, genius.

Those photos only prove

that Craig loves Doug more than he loves you.

Now, if you'll excuse me, some of us have real jobs.

Screenwriting is a real job!

Yeah, only if someone's paying you, dork.

[Kyle sighs]

Talk to me, Kyle.

[Kyle sighs again]

I don't get to see Craig for a week at a time,

and when I do get him back,

it's like he's forgotten everything I've taught him.

It's like... he's forgotten me.

[♪]

I can't believe you didn't tell me about this kid.

I can't believe you bribed our daughter.

No, no, I didn't bribe her, she bribed me.

Sofia.

[sighs] You scared us half to death.

Why weren't you in school?

Why weren't you answering your phone?

Can I talk to you in private?

Of course, sweetheart.

Not you.

Mom.

Is this about Charles Manson kid?

Because I can make him wish he'd never been born.

[tearfully] Mom, God!

I got my stupid period

and I didn't want to tell my friends

because they all got theirs ages ago,

and...

I kind of lied and told them that I already had mine,

and I got scared that I might bleed through my skirt,

so I came home to, like, deal with it,

but Dad doesn't have any girl products in the house.

Oh... sweetheart.

Well, we can take care of that, pronto.

It's all gonna be okay.

It's gonna feel like old hat in no time,

trust me.

Aww!

[Abby] Jerri's on garbage duty now?

My client.

"The Real Botox"?

She wants substantially more spousal support

than her ex is currently offering.

I need to document her spending habits.

Prove she's accustomed to a certain lifestyle.

Those are her receipts for the past year.

You're not suggesting...

I'm not suggesting.

I'm telling.

I need an itemized breakdown by the end of the week.

Harry!

Hire a forensic accountant to do it.

Get Cecil to do it.

Why would I do that when I have you?

[♪]

[line ringing]

[man] Dr. Cameron's office.

Hi, this is Abigail Bianchi.

Please hold.

[woman] Ms. Bianchi. This is Dr. Cameron.

Oh. Hello.

Every time you cancel an appointment,

it's disrespectful,

both of my time

and for the people on my wait list.

So, as of today,

I'm putting an end to this little game.

I wish you the best of luck.

Can I just get my receipt--

[sighs]

[Jerri] I understand that, Mr. Choi,

but our bill is past due by two months.

Yes. Thank you. Bye.

I just had a session with Marlee.

She told me that somebody introduced her

to the man behind her VR crush.

Isn't that doctor/patient privilege?

Abigail.

Well, maybe that... someone

didn't expect it to go the way it did.

Maybe that someone

thought it would help snap Marlee back to reality.

You know, the first time I spoke to Marlee,

it felt like there was still some hope for her marriage.

And now--

You're trying to work things out with your husband, right?

Imagine how much harder it would be

if somebody introduced a real, live version

of his fantasy woman into the mix.

Why are you always trying to take the shortcuts?

Because they're shorter.

I used to tell everyone I was sober.

My wife, my kids...

Said it so much, I almost believed it myself.

And meanwhile, I'm hiding bottles all over the house.

Even kept a 26er of rye tucked inside the toilet tank.

[♪]

Please, Harry, I beg of you, buy a pair of longer shorts.

"Longer shorts." Oxymoron.

Receipts. Itemized.

Good.

She's a spendaholic.

Two grand a month on her hair alone,

and about that much again

on doggie outfits for her Shitzu.

All reasons why she deserves at least double

the spousal support her ex is currently offering.

She needs to maintain the lifestyle

to which she's accustomed.

Or she could blow dry her own hair

and help eradicate malaria in developing countries.

[chuckles]

[Dwight, shouting] Assassin! Assassin!

You've ruined my marriage! You have ruined my life!

[Daniel] Mr. Hartford, please, calm down.

No, I'm not gonna calm down!

You introduced her to Freyr!

-[candies clattering] - Ah!

[Dwight] Why would you do that?

How is that your job?

[candies clattering]

I have no idea what you're talking about!

I've lost her forever!

Ahh! My eye!

- Sorry-- - Okay, fella.

Time for you to go!

Sorry about that.

[elevator arrival button dings]

What the hell was Dwight talking about?

"Real-life Freyr"?

I used a P.I. I know

to track down the guy behind Freyr.

=Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? - Daniel, focus!

That's not what's important right now.

You were just viciously assaulted.

He threw Skittles at me.

No. It was vicious.

Harry and I were both witnesses, weren't we, Harry?

You almost lost an eye.

Have you actually lost your mind?

Let me spell it out for you!

We can use this

to nail Dwight's ass to the wall.

Screw shared custody! We can get Marlee full custody.

He's violent, unpredictable.

You haven't learned a thing about family law, have you?

I've learned that what you do can barely be defined as law.

"Daniel Svensson, Pet Arbitrator."

This isn't personal injury, okay?

This isn't about "winning."

First rule of family law--

put the needs of the children first.

And that rarely means severing ties with a parent.

Harry. Come on!

Your brother's right, Abigail.

You grossly overstepped

and your strategy is a non-starter.

So you're just gonna let Dwight get away with this?

Yeah, I am.

He only did it because you did a phenomenally reckless thing.

I'll say it again, Dad.

She doesn't belong here.

Maybe not,

but the stuff about the father being violent

and unpredictable--

worth keeping in your back pocket.

George! Hi.

What a surprise.

Abigail.

Uh, hey, so I just wanted you to know,

that, uh, as soon as my probation is over,

I am ready to step back into my old role.

Stronger than ever.

A-And I know we have a lot to discuss,

but I can come by at any time-- your convenience.

Do you know how many of your clients

have come to us,

asking if you lost their case because you were drunk?

That never played a part.

And for the record,

I had very few losses.

Bob Johnson?

The client who you--

oh, how shall I put this--

vomited on...

is suing the firm.

Bob's an idiot, okay?

Let me handle Bob.

You can come back, Abigail...

when hell freezes over.

[♪]

[Daniel] So... we're agreed?

This is a new low, Daniel, you know that, right?

Well, I mean, I can put this back on.

My eye is still quite sore.

Put away your Halloween costume, Jack Sparrow.

We're agreed.

My client has also been seeing a therapist,

Lucy Svensson.

Ms. Svensson is happy to answer

any further questions you may have.

Our client has taken your recommendations

very seriously.

Counsel?

I have nothing further to add, Your Honour.

[Judge] Well, I must commend you, Mrs. Liu-Hartford.

I wish all the folks I saw in here

were as committed as you are.

Marlee Liu-Hartford and Dwight Hartford

will have shared custody of the kids.

60-40 split for now,

since Marlee is the stay-at-home parent.

And I'm letting her stay in the house.

Mr. Hartford will find alternate accommodations.

We'll reconvene tomorrow to discuss support.

Adjourned.

[gavel bangs]

Congratulations.

What's wrong?

It means it's really over now, doesn't it?

Between me and Dwight.

I thought you wanted it that way?

You and Herbert...

I sent him back to Surrey.

He's nice.

And hot.

But beyond Second Life, we had nothing in common.

Not like me and Dwight.

[♪]

[Marlee exhales deeply]

[Yannick] I hear you, bro.

Maybe your dad's getting soft in his old age.

He brought her in out of guilt, I get that.

It's letting her stay that boggles my mind.

That's family.

[♪]

[loudly] You know, as much as it pains me to admit it,

you were right.

[emphatically] Marlee still loves Dwight.

- Why are you--? -[still loud] It's obvious

she wants him back. The only reason

she had an online affair

was because she felt he no longer loved her.

- Why are you shouting? - It's just too bad

we can't be the ones to tell him, though, right?

[still loud] Conflict of interest and all that.

[♪]

I've changed your custody arrangement.

You both still get Craig 50-50.

I should hope so.

But instead of one week on, one week off,

it will be three days on, three days off.

That way, Doug's...

"bad habits" won't have as much time to get ingrained.

I-I can live with that.

No, this is a lot for me to rearrange

with Craig's daycare schedule.

You hired me to arbitrate for the two of you.

My decision stands.

You'll be receiving my written report

later this week.

Happy?

[Craig begins tinkling]

Sorry about your rug.

Hi.

My therapy receipts.

And, uh, check this out.

My one-month chip from A.A.

Abby, congratulations.

Crack open the champagne!

It's a joke.

I'm doing the work, Frank.

I could just as easily keep doing it here.

Let's have this conversation

when you hit the three-month mark.

- Hey, Sofe. - Hi.

Sofe, hi. Hey, uh, so, I got you something.

It's called "Me, Myself, and My Changing Body."

Okay? It's kind of cool.

Tells you everything you need to know about, uh--

Okay, barf. I'm not 10, Abigail.

[bikes whizzing]

[phone keys clicking]

[message chimes]

[message chimes]

[♪]

Mr. Krol,

I don't take kindly to people who waste the court's time.

I'm giving your client one more minute.

[bellowing] Gefion!

[doors bang]

[dramatically] Why, ye gods twain,

with bitter tongues strive with reproachful words

to raise hate among us here?

My Gefion...

Dwight?

Marlee, I love you so much.

I don't want to lose you.

I have two seats

booked on a flight

leaving in four hours for ComiCon.

Please say you'll come.

The kids--

...Are with your mother.

Please, Marlee,

say we can try again.

I want to spend the weekend...

seeing you.

Yes, Freyr.

[relieved chuckle]

Yes, Dwight.

Ashau nash-veh tu.

[chuckling]

Oh...

You okay?

Yeah.

- Okay. -[both laughing]

[couple still chuckling]

[♪]

[electronic alert beeps]

[blowing]

[Breathalyzer beeping]

[♪]

[indistinct conversations]

[indistinct conversations]

[♪]

Abby!

I told Danny to wait for the whole family to be here

before the announcement,

but he said he couldn't reach you.

We're engaged.

We're going ring shopping this weekend.

Wow.

Congratulations.

Lucy...

[chuckles]

I don't know what you said,

but he told me you had an influence,

so thank you.

This is the happiest day of my life.

I'm so happy for both of you.

[Harry] Congratulations.

Uh-uh-uh.

We get sparkling water.

[Cecil] Congratulations, Daniel.

Maybe Harry'll finally get some grandchildren.

[loudly] I already have grandchildren. Two.

[Cecil] Oh, right.

I keep forgetting she's your daughter.

[♪]

Babe--

Sabina and the gang are going to Velvet.

We should go.

Uh, or, just as fun,

we could eat in front of the TV

and look at more sperm-donor profiles?

[laughs]

Sure.

Yeah, let me just grab a beer.

[♪]

♪ ...As it heals

♪ Scratch the itch

♪ Pick the scab Don't let it seal ♪

♪ This is a martyr's scar

[♪]

♪ Oh

♪ And if I wallow here

♪ It's my history to burn

♪ These are My lessons to learn ♪

♪ But for now

♪ One more round

♪ Then I'll go

[♪]

♪ I'll send you pictures Of us when we were deluded ♪

♪ Don't you think it was A beautiful high? ♪

♪ Look at Coco's princess dress ♪

♪ Hazel eyes depict An optimistic youthful alibi ♪

♪ Oh

♪ And if I wallow here

♪ It's my history to burn

♪ These are My lessons to learn ♪

♪ But, for now One more round ♪

♪ Then I'll go

[♪]

♪ We made some plans We told the folks ♪

♪ We told a lie or two

♪ But that's All secondary stuff ♪

♪ The disappointment Was electric ♪

♪ But you don't know it

♪ Because you've never Been in love ♪

♪ Oh

♪ And if I wallow here

♪ It's my history to burn

♪ These are My lessons to learn ♪

♪ But for now

♪ One more round

♪ Then I'll go

♪ If I wallow here

♪ It's my history to burn

♪ These are my lessons To learn ♪

♪ But for now...

♪ One more round

♪ Then I'll go

♪ Oh...

♪ And if I wallow here

♪ It's my history to burn

♪ These are my lessons To learn ♪

♪ But for now...

♪ One more round

♪ Then I'll go