Original subtitles

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Previously, on Family Law...

Your Honour, I...

Are you all right, counsel?

[Abigail] Uh, yeah, yes.

-[galley gasping] - Whoa!

[Harry] No lawyer in town would touch you.

- What do you want me to say? - How about

"thank you, Dad"?

Daniel and Lucy Svensson, your brother and sister.

[pop-fizz]

Harry was prolific--

three kids from three different mothers?

[in unison] Objection!

I don't want to have to explain

my 40-year-old boomerang kid on a first date.

Go. Hurry up.

-Sofia, it's Mom! -[Sofia] Tell her I'm not here.

My name is Abigail and I'm a...

schm-alcoholic.

I'd really like to come home.

Not yet, Abby.

I didn't think she'd be such a colossal bitch.

She's his daughter. What else was he supposed to do?

What he's done for decades--

act like she doesn't exist.

[♪]

[car stereo plays] ♪ My baby's got some trouble

♪ He know he's not himself

♪ Oh, he's walking through the rubble ♪

♪ Of what he brought himself

♪ Brought on himself

[clicks music off]

[doorbell chimes]

Hey, Sofe.

[huffs irately]

Morning.

Nico's has the ham sandwich.

Sofia's is vegan. Do not get them mixed up.

Since when is she vegan?

Since two days ago, when she watched

some P.E.T.A. videos with her friends.

Why did you move the painting?

Oh! Hello, peanut.

Oh, Dad, the band's bake sale is this week,

so I said that you'd bake some cookies.

Seriously, buddy?

A bit more heads-up would be appreciated.

Oops. Forgot my French horn.

Great. One more thing to add to the list.

Well, I could bake the cookies.

[scoffs] I don't know, Abby.

Your track record with school stuff...

Uh, is perfectly adequate?

Mm. Sofia's Halloween costume, Nico's science fair project,

every bake sale ever?

Okay, okay. I get the point.

It's just... I can do this.

Come on. Let me do this for you.

[Frank sighs]

All right. Thanks.

- Ready? - Yeah!

[♪]

And another thing I bet you didn't know

about capuchin monkeys

is that they pee on their hands to wash their feet.

Ew. God, Nico. Make yourself even weirder, why don't you?

Enough, Sofia.

Why are you driving us, anyway, Abigail?

Because-- [awkward chuckle]

I'm still your mom.

And I'm trying to help out where I can.

Matter of fact, I'm gonna be the one

who bakes the cookies for your bake sale.

[unhappily] Really?

You'll just try to pawn off

Costco cookies as your own again.

Where are you going?

I'll walk from here.

Sofia, your school is eight blocks away.

Exactly. No chance I'll be seen with the YouTube sensation.

Teenagers.

Tell me about it.

Oh.

Almost forgot-- got you something.

A capuchin monkey. No way!

Yeah.

It's cozy. [chuckles]

- Okay, have fun. - You too.

- Bye. - Bye.

[♪]

[Danielle] With all due respect,

Mr. Svensson,

your online presence

is a good 10 years out of date.

It's confrontational,

in body language...

...and in actual language.

Forgive me

if I'm not seeing the problem, Danielle.

[Daniel] It's old-school.

It appeals to the wrong type of client.

Since when are the rich and famous

the "wrong type" of client?

They're what keep the lights on in this place, kiddo,

unlike your "collaborative" work.

Oh, absolutely, Mr. Svensson.

You are the rainmaker.

[Danielle chuckles]

I think what Daniel is trying to say

is your firm also branched into settlement-based law,

and your online presence

should reflect the firm's forward thinking,

with a...

modernized slogan and design.

Well, she's not wrong, Harry.

Our website is terribly dated.

All right, fine.

But you'd better up your billable hours,

because it's coming out of your pocket.

[Danielle] Wonderful.

I'll get to work.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Nicely done. - Told you I'm good.

Mm. Bye, Pooh Bear.

Bye, Little 'Roo.

Mm.

Personally, I think you're more of an Eeyore.

Oh, good, you're both here.

Come in, I need to talk to you.

Yeah, I think I'll excuse myself.

Thank you, Jerri.

Okay, someone's gotta say it. Those shorts are obscene.

Thank you.

Abigail,

you shouldn't have compromised on the Gyurkovich file,

but overall, you did good work.

So you're gonna let me handle my own files?

Absolutely not.

You'll still perform

whatever menial tasks come your way.

I got a stack of briefs for you to review.

But I'd also like you to start working your brother,

as his junior.

[together] What?

You'll be your sister's mentor.

Teach her the ins and outs of family law.

That is truly a dreadful idea.

Please tell me this is a nightmare.

Please tell me I'm gonna wake up.

[knocking]

You have a walk-in.

What an opportunity. Make me proud.

[♪]

[Abigail] This is ridiculous.

Being your second chair is worse than re-articling.

I was already in law school

when you were still masturbating into a gym sock.

How do you think I feel?

You wouldn't even be here if he'd listened to me.

Which he clearly doesn't.

And also, I never masturbated--

...into a gym sock.

Hello.

Are you the lawyers?

That's right.

Daniel Svensson.

Abigail Bianchi.

I'm Levi and this is my wife, Ellie.

And what brought you in today?

They want to take away our baby.

Who's "they?"

The people from the government.

And where is the child now?

["Uh-Oh" by Jeremy Fisher plays]

[♪]

♪ You can't prove it

♪ Uh-oh

♪ You got nothing legit

♪ Uh-oh

♪ The glove don't fit

♪ Uh-oh

♪ You gotta acquit

♪ Uh-oh

♪ The charges won't stick 'cos

♪ I ain't no sucker

♪ Ain't your lollipop but

♪ You can kiss my sweet

♪ Uh-huh

♪ Never gonna stop Never gonna stop... ♪

♪ Never gonna stop Never gonna stop ♪

♪ You can't prove it

♪ Uh-oh

We were so happy to find out that Ellie was pregnant.

Our baby doctor said that our baby is doing great.

I eat healthy.

We go to parenting class.

But then,

last week,

a social worker came to our place.

[Ellie] He said that someone called

and told them--

[tearfully] ...we aren't fit to raise a child.

We think it was our neighbour.

She never liked us.

Now we have to prove to can be good parents,

or else they'll take away our baby.

Have you got any support from family?

My parents are dead.

But I have an older sister. She travels a lot.

[Levi] My mom helps out.

She's great.

Hiring a lawyer...

it can get a little expensive.

[Levi] It's okay.

We can afford it.

We both have full-time jobs.

At Omar's Foodmart.

We can get free hummus.

[Harry] Tell them to find another firm.

Or apply for legal aid.

We aren't running a charity.

No.

But you know I like to take on a few pro bono cases each year,

as a way of giving back.

"Giving back."

What does that even mean?

We haven't taken anything.

You're an old white guy, Harry.

Some people would say you've done nothing but take.

Oh, please. Spare me the PC nonsense.

It's a ridiculous notion and I don't buy it.

[Daniel] You don't buy it

because it would mean you'd have to change the way you think.

[Harry] Besides, it would be futile

to take on a pro bono case you can't possibly win.

What makes you think we can't win?

You're-- You're kidding, right?

They can't possibly raise a child.

They're ret--

- Dad! Stop. - Don't say it.

The law is clear.

We must act in the best interests of the child.

Back me on this, Abigail.

I... I think it's highly unlikely

that they're capable of raising a child,

but, well, neither were you, and you had three.

I'm willing to give it a go.

[♪]

[Cecil] The Child, Family, Community Service Act,

Section 13--

a child needs protection

if the child has been, or is likely to be,

physically harmed.

If the child has been or is likely to be

physically harmed due to neglect.

If the child is deprived of necessary health care,

or is likely to be--

Thanks, Cecil. That's enough.

Luce? What are your thoughts?

I think that before you can advocate for them,

you need to assure yourself

that they're capable of raising this baby,

because whatever plan you come up with--

...Has to be bullet-proof,

and one that we can advocate for with no hesitation.

Well, we'll need to move quickly.

Ellie looks like she's gonna pop at any moment.

Lucy, what will Child Protection Services want to see?

A structured interview,

cognitive, adaptive behaviors,

a home visit assessment, collateral interviews--

Well, let's start with the psychological tests.

If those go well, we'll arrange a home visit.

Sounds good.

Do the collateral interviews,

and see if you can find out the nature

of the complaint from the Ministry's lawyer.

Mm. And what are you doing?

Delegating to my junior.

I have other cases that need my attention.

[slurping]

What is that? Diarrhea in a jar?

Danielle and I are on a cleanse.

All right. Ahem. Let's go.

Oh, I don't know if Daniel would want me to--

Cecil, come.

They're great kids.

Always on time,

their uniforms washed and ironed.

Had to have a talk with Levi

about personal hygiene at the beginning,

but never had to have it again.

Have you ever heard them argue?

[chuckles] Ellie got mad at Levi one time

for eating too much rice pudding.

Other than that...

no.

They're very sweet with each other.

Would you say they're capable of raising a child?

I've got a kid.

I'm sure he wouldn't say I'm great.

How do you even judge these things?

[♪]

[Ellie] I hate tests.

Me too, but just think of it as a conversation.

We can take as long as we want.

Can we have snacks?

Of course.

Including Babybels?

[laughs] Sure thing.

Why don't we start with you telling me your morning routine?

What time do you get up?

7:00 a.m.

We both set alarms.

I have the first shower and Levi makes us breakfast.

And then I have the second shower.

And I make sure that he puts on deodorant,

because if he doesn't,

pee-eww!

[laughs]

[Abigail] That's the Ministry lawyer?

Don Sargent, yeah,

but maybe we should make an appointment.

No, no. Sometimes you get more information

if you catch somebody off-guard.

Yeah, but I mean--

What are you doing?

Yeah, yeah, hashtag "me too," "time's up," yada yada.

The truth is, most men are still animals.

But Don isn't--

[Abigail] Don Sargent?

Yes?

[whispering] "D-A-W-N."

I, uh...

represent Ellie and Levi Davies.

I'm Abigail Bianchi.

I know who you are.

I'm here to find out

the exact nature of the complaint

their neighbour made against my clients.

Nice try, Nancy Drew.

I'm not telling you who made the complaint.

That's confidential information.

I suspect even you know that.

I take it you're a second-wave feminist?

[♪]

[♪]

- Luce! - Mm-hmm?

I'm ovulating.

My mucus

is clear

and stretchy.

Oh, God, I'm gonna barf up my bagel.

I'm just trying to learn the ins and outs

of my ovulation schedule.

For future reference.

[chuckles]

And speaking of which,

you promised you'd sit down with me this week

to look at the donor profiles.

-[phone rings] - Ahem.

[beep]

Lucinda Svensson.

[Abigail] How were Ellie and Levi's

test results?

They scored "adequate" or "moderately high"

in most areas.

We'll determine more with the home visit.

How did your interviews go?

Uh, well,

with the exception of their neighbour,

people speak highly of them.

But?

But...

being a parent's the hardest job

I've ever had. -It's only hard

'cause you suck at it.

Was that my niece?

Technically, yes.

Wait, are you talking to my aunt?

Hi, Aunt Lucy!

Hi, Nico.

I only just found out I even had an aunt!

How come we never met?

We'll talk about that later. Sweetie, where's your monkey?

I left him at home.

- Oh. - See you.

- Bye! - Bye.

- Love you. - You too.

That was cute.

Yeah!

I have one demon seed and one sweetheart.

[♪]

[buzzing]

[♪]

Come on in.

[♪]

Ellie's in the living room.

Thanks.

Hi.

Hi! I'm, uh, I'm Karen, Ellie's sister.

Abigail.

- I'm Lucy. - Hi.

She's with Doctors Without Borders.

As a doctor!

Ellie said you travel a lot for work.

Yeah, I'm here for a few weeks before I have to head off again.

Hoping to be here for the big day.

I know it's easier said than done,

but try and go about your normal routine, okay?

Okay.

You guys want a sandwich?

- Sure. - Sure.

You have a choice

of ham...

or ham.

[Ellie laughs]

That was a joke.

[Lucy laughs]

We'll both have ham.

Okay.

Are you hungry? Do you want anything?

[Lucy] While Levi's making lunch,

I thought we could chat.

Ellie, you must be so happy

to have your sister here for a while.

[♪]

It's a boy.

We already picked out a name.

"Charlie." After my dad.

That's a lovely name.

[beeping]

Um, Ellie, could I speak with Levi's mom?

Sure.

-[beeping] - Uh... I...

Excuse me.

[blowing air]

What are you doing?

[Breathalyzer beeps]

Uh, it's just...

It's something I need to do if I want to see my kids.

They took away your kids from you, too?

In a way, yes.

That must hurt your heart.

[♪]

And lastly,

affidavits with the collateral interviews

and the home-visit assessment.

We think you'll find the results encouraging.

Levi's mother, Mary Davies, has agreed

to stay with the couple as long as necessary.

[quietly] Have you spent time with Mary?

I spoke with her at length on the phone. Why?

[glass clattering]

Oh! Goodness. Sorry.

I have good days and bad days.

My mom has Parkinson's, like Muhammad Ali.

I'm still able to help out,

if that's what you're wondering.

I'm sorry, but I must act

in the best interests of the child.

I'll be applying to the courts

to have the newborn placed in care.

[♪]

- proof,

and I got gunned down immediately.

How could you have not known about the Parkinson's?

I only talked to her on the phone.

You should've interviewed the mother in person.

Rookie mistake.

Spare me the lecture, okay?

You're paying me a teensy fraction

of what I made at my old firm.

And you think that gives you the right to take shortcuts?

Oh, f-- fudge you.

I'm twice the lawyer you are.

I have a 12-year call to your, what, six?

Seven. And yet you still let Ellie and Levi down.

You got their hopes up.

They deserve better.

I deserve better.

You made me look like a fool.

No. It's too easy.

We go in front of the judge in a few days,

and right now I'm not betting on our side.

Hate to say I told you so.

[in unison] Then don't.

Do you know what a judge's expectations are for parents?

"Good enough."

I think Ellie and Levi and Mary provide at least that standard.

We could still get a ruling in their favour.

The problem is,

nobody knows if Ellie and Levi are equipped to raise a child,

including them.

My mother said you can take all the classes in the world,

but nothing prepares you for the harsh reality.

Well, no.

You're handed this squirming, wailing alien

who demands 24-7 care and attention.

I barely showered for a year.

Yeah, my wife and I didn't sleep for a decade

with our three.

[Harry] Really?

I had three, and I didn't find it that hard.

Because your wives did all the work.

[Cecil] My mother had five kids.

Says she wishes she stopped at four, though.

[♪]

They need to know what it's actually like

to take care of a baby.

["infant" bawling]

I think he needs changing.

Or the bottle?

Let's try changing.

All right.

[fussing and crying]

Okay, that thing is seriously creepy.

Oh, tell me about it.

I call him "Felix".

He's an "infant simulator".

Programmed with

the recorded experiences of actual babies.

Okay.

You'll be looking after him for the next couple of days.

The results will be recorded and scored.

So if you shake the baby, it'll be recorded.

If you drop the baby...

It will be recorded.

All the cameras are installed.

[overlapping] Thanks, Cecil.

It's like being on Big Brother!

The video footage is just back-up ammunition

for when we're in front of the judge.

-[knocking] -[Karen] Hello?

Come in!

- Hi. - Hi.

Hi.

It's for the baby.

I love it.

["infant" cries]

Hey...

It's the bottle.

It's definitely the bottle.

[Maggie] Listen to this one.

He's got a Master's in Political Science

from McGill.

Speaks three languages.

Oh. He's only 5'6".

So?

So, I want our child to have a shot

at playing basketball in college,

like I did.

As fun as it is, looking at donor profiles,

it's also "Dyke Night" at Velvet.

Where do you get the energy, Luce?

I'm wiped.

Ooh!

This guy's 6'4".

[Maggie laughs]

[Joanne] It's so cute,

watching you play "Suzy Homemaker".

[phone buzzes]

Morning, "Pooh".

Have you watched the footage?

All 24 hours of it, yes.

I only gave you your share.

Cecil watched the other 24.

He's a paralegal, Daniel.

See you at the courthouse.

Don't be late.

Three words to describe your brother. Go.

Uh, arrogant.

Narcissistic.

And... is "anal-retentive" one word or two?

I'll allow it. Your sister?

Woke. Self-righteous.

Daddy's girl.

That's definitely four, but I'll give it to you.

You don't really believe that those two

are capable of raising a child, do you?

Parenting capacity isn't measured by high I.Q.s.

Look at you and Dad.

Oh, come on. We weren't that bad.

Remember when I was six and I ran away

because I couldn't stand your fighting?

Neither one of you noticed I was gone for a full 24 hours.

Oh, cry me a river!

We found you in the garage!

You had a blanket and plenty of snacks.

Ellie and Levi would be Ma and Pa Walton

compared to you two.

[smoke alarm beeping]

Oh, dammit.

And your "parenting capacity"?

[♪]

We're recommending a kith-and-kin arrangement.

Shared custody of the infant

between Ellie and Levi, and Levi's mother, Mary,

with a full re-evaluation in six months' time.

Dr. Svensson, what is your professional opinion?

The Davies scored well on their testing.

I believe that, with support from Mary,

even with her physical limitations,

the child will be in good hands.

Ms. Sargent, anything you'd like to add?

Yes, Your Honour.

With permission, I'd like to play a section

of the video recorded at the Davies' residence.

My team looked through all that footage meticulously.

I'm not sure how this is relevant.

I think you'll want to see this.

[Judge] Go ahead.

[Dawn] We've edited

the time sequence of the footage.

["Felix" crying]

[♪]

I only left him in there for a few hours

so Ellie and I could sleep.

[Ellie] He just wanted me

to be well-rested for when the real baby comes.

We would never do that to a real baby.

[Dawn] Section 13 is clear.

A child needs protecting

if it has been, or is likely to be,

physically harmed or neglected.

But we have safeguards in place.

Mary Davies-- -...Has Parkinson's.

What if she picks up the baby

and has tremors or impaired balance?

Or what if she gets hospitalized?

Your Honour, we have to act in the best interests of the child.

[Ellie] Please!

Don't take away our baby.

I don't make this decision lightly,

but I do have to agree with Ms. Sargent,

there are just too many unknowns.

I hereby grant temporary custody of the child

to the Ministry.

[Levi, cries out] This isn't fair!

[Ellie gasps]

[water splashing]

[Ellie sobs]

I think I need to go to the hospital.

[Karen] Her water broke.

[♪]

I need a cab to the courthouse.

You have to help us!

You know what it's like to have your kids taken away.

Please!

How could you let this happen?

What?

Uh, that was not my footage.

I saw the timecode.

It wasn't my day, it must've been yours.

I'm gonna ask you one question,

and you'd better answer honestly.

Are you drinking again?

What? No!

Well, I can't think of another explanation

for the sloppiness.

Unless you're deliberately trying to sabotage them...

or me.

Sorry.

Are you drinking again?

Go to hell.

Seriously.

[♪]

You look terrible.

Thank you, Mother.

Did you get any sleep?

I just don't get it.

It's not there.

[phone buzzing]

What?

I'm gonna stop by the hospital on the way to work.

See how Ellie's doing.

How many cameras did we install at Ellie and Levi's?

Uh... three.

One in the bedroom,

two in the kitchen and living area.

Do you want me to keep you updated?

Hello?

[beep]

[♪]

"Our family...

helping yours."

That's it?

[clapping]

Brilliant. Clean.

Succinct. Digestible. Perfect new logo.

[Danielle] I'm glad you like it.

Now, remember. The photographer comes at 5:00.

- Everybody will be ready. - Great.

Can't wait.

Photographer.

[blows kiss]

[door shuts]

So, do you really think Abigail dropped the ball?

A wrecking ball.

Like I said to you earlier--

we're not running a charity.

If she needs to go, she needs to go.

[phone buzzing]

Speak of the she-devil.

It's not our footage.

What are you talking about?

Let me slow it down for you, Pooh.

It's not our footage.

Abby, just for once, admit you made a mistake.

I didn't make a mistake.

It's from a different camera. I'm gonna have to call you back.

[knocks]

You're late.

Yeah, I'm aware of that. Let's go.

Dad already drove Nico to school.

Then why are you at home?

I have a spare Thursday mornings,

which you would know, if you were still

part of this family...

Abigail.

Give it a rest, Sofia. Okay?

Why can't you be more like Nico?

He-He doesn't hold my mistakes over me.

He's moved on. He's happy.

Is that what you think?

You so don't have a clue.

Want to enlighten me?

He begged me not to tell you guys.

Tell us what?

He has this stupid idea that if he doesn't rock the boat,

you and Dad will get back together.

Well, I mean, you know he's always been

kind of a weirdo.

- Sofia. - Well, it's true!

He could keep a low profile,

until your stupid video went viral.

Now it's like he's got a bull's-eye on his back.

But I... I see him with his friends

when I drop him off.

You think those boys are his friends?

You know what I think?

I think you should pee on your feet.

Pee on your feet like you're a monkey.

I'm not going to do that.

Just pee on your feet--

[sinisterly] Listen,

you little turd biscuit, you touch my son again--

you say one word to him, you look at him funny--

and I will destroy you.

[whistle tweeting]

[♪]

[school bell rings]

I did not hit him.

Is that what he's saying?

Frank, he's been tormenting Nico for months.

It-- Hello?

Hello?

[♪]

[♪]

Karen.

Baby was born an hour ago.

We're just waiting for the social worker.

How could you do it?

I'm sorry. What?

I know it was you.

You phoned in the complaint.

It's not that simple--

And your teddy bear, your "gift"...

had a nanny cam?

If you'd like me to explain, I'd be happy--

Oh, please do.

Because I can't, for the life of me,

figure out why anyone would do that to their own sister.

[footsteps approaching]

Have you seen Ellie or Levi?

No. Why?

They're gone.

Ellie and Levi and the baby-- they're gone.

[♪]

The most likely explanation

is that they're somewhere right here, in the hospital.

Yeah, well, why don't you stay here in case they show up,

and I'll drive to their place?

If they did manage to slip out, that's probably where they went.

Yeah, well, if we can find them soon,

maybe we can avoid getting the authorities involved.

Oh, no, no, no. You're comin' with me.

I know you think I'm a terrible person.

You said it, not me.

I love Ellie more than anyone else in the world.

Funny way of showing it.

Would you just listen to me, okay?

I understand my sister's limitations.

I know that she is impulsive

and she gets bored easily.

Once, she had this gerbil, and she loved that thing,

and I went away to summer camp for one week,

and Ellie forgot to feed it, and it died.

So you think she'd treat a baby like she would a gerbil,

what, almost 20 years ago?

There's more to it than that.

I have been getting texts every day from her neighbour,

while I was in Libya,

telling me all of this stuff, like things that she had seen.

And you believed her?

I didn't know what to believe!

All I knew is that, if something happened,

it wouldn't just be the baby that would suffer,

it was gonna be Ellie, too.

Please, just...

don't tell her I'm the one that made the call.

She would never forgive me.

You know what? I won't.

For her sake.

She's had enough heartbreak already.

A-And just so we're clear--

that "baby" you keep referring to,

he's your nephew.

You're his aunt.

And you just put Charlie into the system.

If he's lucky,

he'll get adopted into a loving family, but...

the odds aren't in his favour, Auntie Karen.

[phone ringing]

Sofia? What's up?

Mom?

You'd better come home...

now.

[♪]

[♪]

So you're really my aunt?

And you're really my niece.

I can't believe you and my mom share any of the same DNA.

[Karen] Ellie...

Ellie.

They said they looked up your name online,

and this is the address that popped up.

[Abby] Let me get this straight.

You answered the door to strangers,

but, more importantly,

you were home to answer the door to strangers

because you weren't at school all day?

It's probably a good thing she was here,

wouldn't you say?

Thank you... Auntie.

[text alert chimes]

The Ministry social worker is on his way.

Would you like to hold him, just once?

[♪]

You have to promise

he'll go to people who love him.

[♪]

[Levi sobbing]

[♪]

Mr. Svensson,

this emergency motion had better be worth my time.

I'm late for a date with a decent man,

and that, at my age, defies the odds.

We'll get through this quickly, then.

Good.

Ellie's sister, Karen, has stepped forward

as a new caregiver for Charlie.

We've drawn up a new kith-and-kin custody arrangement

that includes Ellie and Levi, and Karen and Mary.

Ah, it takes a village.

I thought you had to travel a lot with your work

as a doctor?

I do. I... did.

It was always my plan to open up a local practice.

It's just gonna happen a couple of years ahead of schedule.

Well, we like to keep families together wherever possible.

Ms. Sargent, do you have anything to add?

I do, Your Honour.

I'd like you to consider the child when it gets older.

What happens then?

It's not gonna take him long

to realize that his parents are different from him,

that he is more capable than they are.

Imagine the first parent/teacher night in high school.

You know the way teenagers are.

He'll be ridiculed.

[Abby] You're not a parent, are you?

I'm sorry, I don't see the relevance of that.

Oh, because if you were,

you would know that every single teenager

is embarrassed by their parents.

Ellie and Levi love their child.

Mary loves her grandson.

Karen loves her nephew.

You can't bottle that and sell it.

The four of them combined,

they're gonna be better parents to Charlie

than most of those so-called "normal" parents

you keep referring to.

You tell 'em, Ms. Bianchi!

[Judge] Okay. Thank you

for that entertaining, yet entirely unnecessary

diatribe.

I'm happy with this arrangement.

I'll make a temporary order, to review in three months' time.

Ellie and Levi?

I wish you both the very best of luck.

Thank you, Your Majesty.

[chuckles] Oh, thank you!

[♪]

Thank you.

Oh! [chuckles]

For everything.

I-I hope it works out with you and your children, too.

Thank you.

I am ready for my apology.

I'm ready for a Porsche,

but that's not going to happen, either.

[Lucy chuckles]

That "diatribe" sounded pretty personal.

Sofia is lovely, by the way.

Yeah, when she's not being a total banshee,

she's awesome.

You helped come up with that kith-and-kin agreement.

You clearly understand the importance

of extended family in a child's life.

Subtlety is not your strong suit.

Dad has mentioned to me more than once

that he'd like to meet his grandkids.

Yes, but I don't think

you're the one he should be talking to, are you?

And I would like to get to know my niece and nephew.

You just don't stop, do you?

Let me work on my relationship with them first, okay?

Okay.

[♪]

No, we're not. No.

[knocking]

I talked to Daniel--

Whatever he said, I did good work on this file.

That's what he said.

Oh.

Okay, well, good.

Does this mean I can get my own files now?

No, but you can read through these briefs for me

and summarize them.

I'll need them by Monday.

[thud]

My talents are wasted here.

Be thankful for the job, Abigail.

Are you wearing makeup?

[♪]

Okay, if you all stand over here...

Uh, you know I don't actually work here, right?

No, but we can link to your services,

and we want this photo

to represent the new face of the firm.

i.e., not just a white face.

This photo should say

that "we are open-- for business, and in attitude."

Exactly. Perfect.

[knocking]

I'm just headed out, so...

We're taking the new photo for the firm's website.

Shouldn't Abigail be in it?

Just give us a minute, would you, Jerri?

Abigail, given your current...

infamy,

your presence on the website

could do the firm more harm than good.

I'm sure you understand.

Yeah.

I get it.

I'm just counting the days until I'm out of here.

Besides, I've never been in your family photos.

Why start now?

[♪]

imes]

Hi.

Never gonna get used to having to ring my own bell.

In all the, uh, excitement,

forgot to give these to Nico.

Bake sale was yesterday.

These are clearly from Costco.

Uh... I can neither confirm, nor deny.

I can't believe you manhandled a 10-year-old, Abby.

I was standing up for our son.

And now you're banned from school property.

That bully should be banned from school property.

He's a child.

An icky child who's gonna grow up

to be an icky adult, so you know what?

Maybe I did him a favour.

[sighs wearily]

Can I please see Nico?

I'd... I'd like to apologize.

Only if you promise not to call Troy a "turd biscuit".

I promise.

You still going to A.A.?

Therapy?

Yes and yes. Jesus.

Would everyone just get off my back?

Nico!

Your mom's at the door.

[♪]

Kidlet...

I'm really sorry for what I did.

That boy is a...

...poo muffin.

But I shouldn't have done that.

It was immature and... stupid.

But it was also awesome.

[♪]

-[baby crying] - Maggie?

Hi!

I just couldn't resist.

Look how adorable he is!

["Felix" fussing]

Imagine how much fun it would be if we had one of our own.

[phone rings]

I have to grab that.

Here. Hold him.

See what it's like.

[♪]

[fussing and whining]

[bawling]

[thud]

[bawling]

[club music thumping]

[Nuela Charles' "Got it Bad" plays]

♪ Mercy, mercy I need some relief ♪

♪ I've got a fire

♪ That's been burning up inside of me ♪

♪ Holy heaven I just need... ♪

Long day?

♪ 'Cause I've been searching for a rhythm... ♪

Yep.

♪ That can set me free...

[bartender] You guys want another round?

♪ I'm on a mission to deliver up a different beat ♪

♪ A holy roller

♪ Shock and shake with electricity ♪

♪ Mercy, mercy Tell me, do you believe ♪

♪ That there's a revolution stirring up insider of me ♪

[moaning]

♪ I have a holy fever

[moaning]

♪ I've got it Bad, bad, bad ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-hoo

♪ I've got it Bad, bad, bad ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-hoo-hoo

♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ I've got it bad