Original subtitles

I voted for Carter twice.

>> I hold you personally responsible for

everything that's wrong with this country today.

>> It's never a good thing in a relationship.

[MUSIC]

No, no, I didn't know that.

>> It's from the lady on the other side of the bar.

[MUSIC]

>> What the old boy how about that?

[MUSIC]

>> Thank you.

>> You looked like you could use it.

First date?

>> What gave it away?

You know, I have to tell you, I've never had a woman buy me a drink before.

>> Well, to tell you the truth, I have

never bought a drink for a man before.

>> Oh.

How was it for you?

>> It was kind of disappointing.

Actually, I thought I would feel much more like Lauren Bacall or something,

and I really felt more like, I don't know, four bucks lighter, I guess.

But that's not your fault.

>> Oh.

>> But I'm glad I did it, I am.

I really needed to do something different tonight, something not me,

you know what I mean?

>> What language is that?

>> Sure.

>> Anyway, you don't have to stay there.

You don't even have to drink that.

I just wanted to, you know, try it, and I did, and so.

Thank you.

>> Oh.

You're welcome.

>> Mr. Topper, your table is ready.

>> Oh, no.

I think I, my date decided to, we have nothing to lose.

Would you like to have dinner with me?

>> Dinner?

Me?

No, I don't think so, no.

Sorry, I can't.

No, thanks.

>> Okay.

>> Although... [

>> Oh, Martin, you really shouldn't be so closed-minded.

>> No, no, no, no.

This is something I feel very strongly about, you know?

You don't put blueberries on cheesecake.

Blueberries are for pie, right?

>> Mm-hmm.

Sometimes the touch of a woman's hand can mean a great deal.

>> Your waitress has gone home.

Perhaps you should as well.

>> Well, apparently we've broken something.

You know, this was really nice.

Maybe you should do something different more often.

>> Yeah, well, I really ought to be getting home now.

>> Sure.

>> Although...

>> Mm.

Well, I've certainly never done this before.

>> Sandra, if you're not comfortable with this, you know... >> No, no, I am.

I am. I really am.

I just, uh... I think I better be going.

>> [ Chuckles ]

I understand.

Good night.

>> Although...

>> This you've done before?

>> Yes, I have.

Martin, make it wonderful.

Take me away.

>> Okey-doke.

I'll give it a shot.

- Oh, sorry. Go back to sleep. - Well, where are you going?

Where are you going? Stay.

Oh, I can't. Where are you? Um, just close your eyes.

Can I call you?

I'll call you.

What is this? A one-night stand?

[ Chuckles ]

This is -- Oh, my God, this is a one-night stand.

I let you buy me a drink, you use me, and then you toss me aside.

It's not a one-night stand. Really, really, it isn't.

I'll call you. I promise. I promise.

I had a wonderful evening.

Okay. Now go back to sleep.

[ Sniffles ]

I can't. I can't.

I'm just -- I'm a little like... [ Snorts ]

.

"Topless Dennis" is a just-a-kimic on the next Eddie Charles show.

[ Chuckles ].

[ Sniffles ].

[ Sniffles ]

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Don't start with me.

Excuse me? I'm having one of those days.

Yeah, well, maybe I'm having one of those days, too.

That's no reason to take your anger out on me.

There are some things it is better not to bother with.

I apologize.

[ Phone rings ]

Martin Tuppers' office. Can I have a last name, please?

I'm not gonna just tell him anything till I get some information here.

Oh, is it? Shh.

You don't get it, do you? I'm the gatekeeper.

I'm the sentinel. I'm the three-headed dog that guards the... Toby.

It's some Sandra person. She won't give me a last

name, but don't worry. I'll get it out of her.

I know who that is. I'll take it by office.

Fine! To bribe me at what little pleasure I get from this job.

Hello?

So, did you ever fall back to sleep?

Yes. Yes, I did.

I had a wonderful time last night.

So did I. Although I had no idea how far you people were going to get votes

these days.

Oh. So you know.

How could you not tell me?

Well, I didn't think you were interested in politics.

Oh, excuse me, Mrs. McGann.

Listen, I really can't talk about this here. Can you meet me someplace?

Absolutely not.

I should have told you.

Yes. Yes, you should have.

Well, I'm really sorry.

But I'm not really, really sorry.

Because if I had told you, we probably

would have had a very different night.

And I liked the night we had.

Well, wasn't too bad, was it?

No. No, not bad at all.

That's not the point. I mean, it shouldn't have happened.

Martin, yesterday at 6.30 in the morning, I had to meet with 300 dairy

farmers who tried to teach me how to use an automatic milking machine.

Believe me, it's not as glamorous as it sounds.

And then I had breakfast three times.

First with the Rotary Club and then with the Knights of Columbus and then

with some senior citizens group who insisted that I square dance with them.

I keep thinking about last night when I was kissing your arms.

They're very soft skin.

Well, so you were square dancing?

And then there was this big group of women. I don't know who they were, but

they gave Dan a plaque.

And then we went to a cocktail party and Dan told the funny story about

meeting Babe Ruth, which really isn't very funny and I'm pretty sure never

really happened.

You left a little bite Mark on my thigh.

Did I?

And then after the photo session, I went into the ladies room and I looked

in the mirror and I had this big grin on my face and I thought, what the

fuck are you smiling about?

I had to get out of there. That's when I went to the bar.

Then I met you.

And I hope, I hope that I get to see you again.

Yeah, me too. Say, look, why don't we go have a sandwich someplace? Maybe we

can straighten this out.

Well, I'm sorry. I just, I just don't go out with married women. It's wrong.

And you get hit a lot.

Look, you may have no problem with this sort of thing.

I've never done anything like this before in my life. But even if I never do

what I did again, I'm glad I did what I did with you.

All right.

Goodbye, Sandra.

Do you remember what happened on your first date? Well, we have a story

about a famous woman and her secret love.

Well, at least you were having a good hair day.

Toby, are you here for a reason?

There's some members of the press here to see you.

Shit.

Mr. Tepper, Mr. Tepper, did you have...

Well, the American press, what a delightful surprise.

All right, all right, one at a time. Blondie, you're first.

Mr. Tepper, did you have an affair with Sandra McAdan?

My head hurts. I don't remember so good.

No comment.

Good answer.

But there's pictures... He said no comment.

You at the lipstick. You're next.

Have you seen the picture in today's post? And do you deny that that's you

with Mrs. McAdan?

That's two questions. You're out.

Isn't this you?

Maybe it is.

And maybe it's not. Maybe it's a trick. Maybe it's his

head on somebody else's body. Maybe it's his twin brother.

You don't know.

Thank you, Toby.

Mr. Tepper, did you or did you not have sex with Mrs. McAdan?

Let's keep sex out of this.

I don't think my sex life is any of your concern.

So you admit you have a sex life.

Hey, whatever happened between me and Sandra McAdan, and I'm not saying

anything did happen, is between me and... and her.

I love my wife very much.

And I'm not about to let some Martin Tepper destroy what we've built over

the last 19 years.

Mrs. McAdan.

Mrs. McAdan, would you say Martin Tepper seduced you?

If by seduced, you mean did he take

advantage of her, the answer would be yes.

Is it true, Mrs. McAdan?

Yes. Yes, it is.

She said what?

Hey, she picked me up in a bar, okay? She bought me a drink. You can check

the bar receipts.

If anyone was seduced here, it was me.

What this man is doing is a disgrace.

I don't know why this man is trying to destroy our lives.

But with the primary two weeks away, it could be politically motivated, or

he could be a psychotic.

All I know is, this has been very hard on Sandra.

Mr. Tepper! Mr. Tepper, right here!

Mrs. McAdan, please!

Please! Everybody will get a crack at him.

Doris? And then out.

Mr. Tepper, were you aware that you

were having an affair with a married woman?

I keep trying to tell you. When we met, I didn't know she was married.

And when I found out she was married, I broke it off.

But you do admit you had sex with her on at least one occasion.

Yes. Yes, we had sex. On one occasion.

Mr. Tepper, are you a sex addict?

Do I look like some maniac that runs around

in public parks beating up on blondes?

Let me tell you something. I'm a single guy, okay? And every now and then, I

date women. And yes.

Yes, occasionally, I even have sex. Yes.

Mr. Tepper! Mr. Tepper, right here!

Wait till he gets his sight back!

In the three days since the McAdan scandal hit the headlines,

we have uncovered 73 women who claimed to have had sexual relations with

Martin Tepper.

Oh, my God.

73?

Well, you know how these girls come and go. They change their names. Who

could keep track?

I wonder what's on cable.

Among them is actress Julia Montana. We spoke with Julia on the set of her

latest movie.

Sure, I slept with him. It was during

the filming of the Richard Stone story,

for which I got the Golden Globe nomination.

It was a brief affair. Frankly, I don't know what all the fuss is about. He

was just okay.

Ouch!

Bad press. Just by a nun.

Now you want.

73, huh?

Lenora Hempel of Utica, New York has

come forward with the strongest allegation.

Who's Lenora Hempel?

We met off and on over several years.

He insisted on keeping our love a secret.

I have never seen this woman before in my life.

He promised to marry me.

I loved Martin Tepper.

This is your baby, Marty! This is your baby!

I'm naming Roy after your father.

Your father's name isn't Roy.

Nothing gets by you.

Martin, relax. I know this is a difficult time, but it'll pass.

Richard went through the same thing in March when that People Magazine

article came out.

Shoot, if they named him the sexiest man

alive, that's not exactly the same thing.

Okay, I see what you're saying, but the point still holds. You can't let the

press get to you.

You go now live to Jennifer Clara.

I'm standing outside the apartment of Martin Tepper.

Here she is.

Here she is.

Whoa, whoa, I'm not here.

And according to sources, it is here that Martin Tepper and his ex-wife,

Judith Tepper Stone, are still secretly living together.

What?

Judith Tepper Stone is currently in a

denoted position and philanthropist, Dr.

Why did you not live here? I came to pick up my son.

Hey, Mom's on TV.

Mrs. Stone, does your husband have any idea?

I do, but there is nothing to have any idea about.

Hey, this is cool.

Dude, just get in here with me.

Secretly living together, where do you people get this crap?

Dude, shut the door.

Good night.

Well, that was an extremely emotional Judith Tepper Stone.

Now, back to you, Terry, in the newsroom.

There were two more murders.

I thought you handled that very well.

Shut up.

Man, you're going about this all wrong.

You can't count on the press to tell your side of the story.

What am I supposed to do? Rent a billboard?

All right, all right. I'll tell you what. Come on my show.

You know, we're supposed to do this thing tomorrow with Amish transsexuals,

but if you want, I'll bump them and I'll give you a whole hour.

Really?

What are friends for?

I'll see what I can do.

Martin Tepper talks back on the next Eddie Charles show.

See? Done.

Next time on Dream On...

This woman has lied about me in the

press and she's made my life a living hell.

He continues to capitalize on it for his own personal gain.

Bullshit!

All right, Martin, I know you had enough of this little scandal and quite

frankly so a lie.

You're a disgusting, vile, pernicious piece of shit.

Get out of town. Now, look, he told me some stuff in there.

- And when I go to the press... - What? What are you going to tell them?

That even after all that's happened, you can count on my vote Tuesday.

Call security.

I think it's time we told the truth about that night.

- It's time... - No.

- Start doing it. - ...fortunate business... I have no idea.

Bonnie Hunt is David Letterman's special guest on The Late Show.

And that's coming next.

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