Original subtitles

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

[ Laughs ]

What a cruise this is gonna be.

I mean, sailing through

the international festival of fashion.

Yeah, with all these luscious models, eh, doc?

Oh-ho.

What about the designers?

I mean, there's halston, Gloria Vanderbilt,

Geoffrey beene, and Bob mackie.

Ah, this is living --

sunny days and starry nights and all those gorgeous models.

Can I assume that I will also see some hard work?

Oh, sure, captain. Models work very hard.

Good evening. I'm Bob mackie.

Welcome aboard, Mr. Mackie.

I'm captain stubing. It's an honor to meet you.

Thank you, captain.

Mr. Mackie designs the gowns for all the big TV stars --

Carol Burnett, Ann-Margret, Cher.

That's right.

You've heard them say, "clothes make the man."

Well, I'm the man that makes the clothes.

I hope you enjoy the cruise.

I'm sure I will.

Carol Burnett, Ann-Margret, Cher?

Boy, I'd like to wear their hand-me-downs.

Hello. I'm Gloria Vanderbilt.

Welcome aboard, miss Vanderbilt.

Thank you.

You look absolutely beautiful.

Oh, well, I've never seen a more gorgeous-looking crew.

Thank you very much.

Miss Vanderbilt, excuse me,

I am such a big fan of yours.

I don't have my autograph book,

but would you mind signing the back pocket of my trousers?

Good evening, sir. My name is Geoffrey beene.

Welcome aboard, Mr. Beene.

Mr. Beene, do you make

any of those little string-bikini bathing suits?

No, I don't make bathing suits.

Oh, that's too bad. 'Cause if you did,

you could call it the string beene. [String bean]

[ Laughs ]

Oh, it's going to be that type of cruise, is it?

Hey, who's that lucky guy?

How do you do? I'm halston.

I'm happy to have you with us.

Did you know that halston is the first American designer

to bring high fashion to mainland China?

Yes, every now and again,

it is good to get out of the office.

I certainly like the way you travel.

You pack the same way I do -- only take what you need.

Just the bare essentials.

Well.

Well, well. Welcome aboard.

I'm Adam bricker, the ship's doctor and chief charmer.

Very nice to meet you, Mr. Bricker.

I'm benita James.

You're undoubtedly the top model in the fashion show.

I just hope you're as good at medicine as you are at flattery.

[ Chuckles ]

No, no, I'm not a model. I'm a designer.

I design clothes.

Oh. I'm sure you have a beautiful line.

And I'm sure you think

that you have a beautiful line, right, huh?

[ Chuckles ]

Sid.

There she is.

Well, it's been nice talking to you.

See you later.

A pleasure. Bye-bye.

That's our target.

Mmm, that's gorgeous.

Rippin' off her designs

is gonna be a lot more fun than I expected.

Excuse me. Can anybody help me here?

What can I do for you, sir?

Has anybody been looking for me?

I don't know, sir. Who are you?

Harley Blanchard.

Harley Blanchard originals.

And I'm his daughter, Mandy.

Oh, the original Harley Blanchard original.

Is someone supposed to meet you here, sir?

Yes, my idiot assistant, who was supposed to be bringing

my new line of clothes onboard.

I knew I couldn't trust him with it!

Now, daddy, just relax. Alvin will be here.

I'm sure everything will be all right.

Yeah, everything will be all right.

That's what general custer's daughter told him

just before he got scalped.

[ Alvin shouts indistinctly, women scream ]

Hi, Mr. Blanchard.

Alvin, you moron, look what you're doing to those clothes!

Oh, no, sir, that's okay. This is a rented tux.

Not your clothes, my clothes --

the ones we're showing at the fashion show!

Oh, sir, I'm -- I'm terribly sorry.

You must think I'm very clumsy.

[ Chuckles softly ]

You don't want to know what I think.

There you go. Here. That's everything.

Not quite, beale. You're standing on my foot.

Oh, daddy, are you all right?

Is there anything I can do, sir?

If there is, we haven't discovered it yet.

I'm going to my cabin now.

I must rest.

I'll show you the way, sir.

Thank you.

Oh, Alvin, you're such a klutz, but I love you.

I know. I can't help it. Your father makes me so nervous.

Besides, I don't want to be an errand-boy assistant.

I want to be a designer.

That'll come in time. Be patient.

But for now, you got to pull yourself together.

What's daddy gonna say when he finds out we're married?

Two things -- I'm fired as his assistant,

and you're fired as his daughter.

Hello, captain. I'm Charles Paris.

The Charles Paris? The house of Paris cosmetics?

Welcome aboard. I'm captain stubing.

It's a pleasure, captain.

Tell me something -- have you found...Her?

What, the new miss Paris? No, I'm afraid not.

We're coming out with a whole line of new perfumes,

and we still haven't found quite the right image.

Is that why you're on this fashion cruise,

to search for the next miss Paris?

Well, a woman that extraordinary isn't that easy to find,

so this could wind up just being a working vacation.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, uh, one request, please.

Yes?

Please don't tell anyone who I am.

I don't want to be pursued by every young woman on the ship.

I understand. Happens to me all the time.

[ Chuckles ]

I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Captain stubing?

Yes?

I'm joanne atkins.

Our mutual friend Kate Webster

asked me to be sure to say hello to you.

How do you do, miss atkins?

I, uh, assume that you're a model in the fashion show.

Yes, I am.

I could tell.

Models are usually beautiful,

but you're much more than that.

You're unusually beautiful.

Captain stubing, I plan to write Kate Webster immediately

to tell her you're the world's most unusually beautiful

sea captain.

[ Chuckling ] Thank you.

[ Chuckles ]

Hello.

Hello.

We're the crawfords.

The crawfords from the Crawford model agency.

Oh, gee, I bet that's an exciting life,

being model agents.

It is, uh, if you're excited

by being in the midst of beautiful girls

who seem to be getting younger and more beautiful every day

while you're not.

Okay. Shall I tell you now

that you're as beautiful as any of our models,

or shall I wait till later?

Both.

You're on fiesta 131.

You can take the stairs in the purser's lobby.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

What's joanne doing here?

Oh, um, I-I booked her for the fashion show.

I distinctly told you I didn't want joanne in the show.

I wanted all younger girls.

Uh, Priscilla, I didn't get a chance to tell her.

You had the chance to tell her.

You just didn't have the guts to tell her.

Oh, come on. Hey, honey, wait a minute, will you?

Look, I think joanne is deserving

of some special consideration from us.

I mean, after all,

she was our first model when we opened our agency.

George Washington was our first president,

but he's not in the show, either.

Tell her she's out.

Yeah, Priscilla, I --

tell her she's out.

Julie, hi!

Melissa! Melissa!

It's so good to see you!

Good to see you!

Oh, guys -- doc, gopher, Isaac --

this is the girl I've been tellin' you about,

my oldest and dearest friend, Melissa Monday.

What a pleasure to meet you, Melissa.

Hello. How are you?

How do you do?

How do you do?

Melissa and I were sorority sisters in college.

Delta gamma.

Boy, we sure turned that house inside out, didn't we?

We sure did.

Oh, everything's all set.

I put a cot in my cabin, and you can have the bed.

Great. We'll have a pajama party, just like old times.

Sounds good. What time should we show up?

I think we're gonna have a great time.

I reserved all my free time for you.

Oh, by the way, my cabin's on the coral deck, 125.

I'm 123. Mine's closer.

I'll see you there.

Okay.

Goodbye.

[ Air horn blows ]

Alvin, what's in this one?

Oh, the dress you love, the one I designed.

I brought it to show to your father.

Alvin, I really don't think this is the right time.

Why not?

I design clothes just as well as anyone else,

and someday, your father's gonna know it.

Oh, is that gonna be

before or after he finds out we're married?

It's been a week already.

I'll tell him. I'll tell him, Mandy.

I just -- I'm just waiting until he's in a good mood.

Oh, you can't put it off that long.

Look, I'll tell him right after the fashion show, okay?

Oh, Alvin.

You know I can't refuse you anything.

Anything?

Anything.

Beale, did you hang up the...Clothes?

What's going on here?

Oh, yes, yes, that's much better.

Sir, sir, have you ever thought of redesigning this dress

with a v-neck?

This could really be a winner.

Never mind that.

Why isn't that dress unpacked?

Uh, that? Oh, sir, I was just -- I was just getting to that.

You have to treat these with care.

You see this design?

It's going to make fashion history.

This dress alone is going to buy me a villa in Rome,

another Rolls-Royce, and a 100-foot yacht.

Well, uh, sir,

isn't that an awful lot to charge for one dress?

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

This is your captain speaking.

For those passengers

interested in seeing the latest fashions in cruise wear,

an informal show is now in progress on the lido deck.

Welcome to our sneak-peek preview

of spring fashions in pool wear.

The lovely joanne atkins is wearing a very smart outfit

of white raw-silk slacks and knit top with matching sweater.

She'll be fit for any sport in this smashing set.

[ Dance music playing ]

Elsie Robbins is showing this unique scarf dress.

It's hand-painted silk,

with each pattern a one of a kind.

Melissa Monday is definitely a breathtaking vision in white.

The white silk pants are topped with a high-collared,

romantic, victorian-lace blouse.

These styles are just appetizers for the delights to come

on our exciting fashion cruise.

Ooh! So this is what you do for a living.

It sure beats working.

Listen, after the show, let me take you for a tour of the ship.

Sorry, Julie. I already promised gopher.

What about me?

You've already seen the ship.

[ Music continues ]

Mmm.

You sure look like my dream girl.

If you think that I'm your dream girl, you're still dreaming.

Why don't you let me take you out tonight

and show you the moonlight?

That's okay. I think I can find it.

I don't think I've seen you before.

Oh, really?

I'm a very direct person. My name is Charles,

and I think we should get to know each other.

Liz Farrell, and I'm also very direct -- and busy.

Why don't you join me for a drink afterwards?

The sun's going to make you very thirsty.

Thank you, but, uh, I think I'll wait until lunch.

All right. Why don't I join you for lunch?

Sorry, but this is a working cruise for me --

nothing personal.

Well, in the words of John Paul Jones,

I have not yet begun to fight -- nothing personal.

You know, I know that guy from somewhere.

Don't ask me where.

Okay. I won't.

Oh, Chicago, the lingerie show.

You know, he pinched me in the elevator.

No, that could have been anybody.

[ Music continues ]

Uh, excuse me, miss James.

This is Vicki, our captain's daughter.

She's very eager to meet you.

Hi, Vicki. How are you?

I'm fine, thank you.

I saw your collection in teen boutique,

and those new fringe jumpsuits are fantastic.

Well, I'm so glad you like them. Thanks for the compliment.

You see, the reason she wants to meet you

is because she's interested in designing as a career.

Really?

I'm just learning. I've only done a few.

Well, I'd like to see some of your sketches.

Would you really?

Sure, I would.

You just bring them by anytime you feel like it,

as many as you have, all right?

She sure is a knockout, huh?

Will you forget about that?

Keep your mind on those sketches.

The boss wants to see them

before everyone else does at the fashion show, not after.

Relax. It's as good as done.

Now say thank you, Vicki.

Thank you, Vicki.

[ Laughter ]

Pardon me. I'm Sidney Sloan.

You've probably never heard of me.

Sad but true, Sidney.

Well, it's such a short cruise

that if I waited for someone to introduce us, we'd never meet.

Now, this way, we've already met.

Sad but true, Sidney. I'm benita -- benita James.

A pleasure, benita.

I overheard you talking about your designs.

In a way, we're in similar occupations.

Really? How is that?

I'm an architect.

Oh, well, then, we are brothers under the skin, so to speak.

Somethin' like that.

Um, look, why don't we get together later

for a cocktail to get acquainted,

and we can discuss our work over dinner?

Thanks, but I don't think so.

Oh, come on, now.

It's not often a guy like me gets to meet someone

with that rare combination of creativity

and...beauty.

Well, if you put it that way,

uh, how about 7:00 in the lounge?

7:00.

I'll be there.

How pathetic.

Heh. [ Chuckles ]

Melissa.

Oh, Julie.

I talked to the captain --

told him I couldn't sit at his table tonight

so we can have dinner together.

Oh, great! I can't wait.

Here you go, gorgeous.

Oh, Larry.

Uh, Larry, this is my oldest friend, Julie McCoy.

Julie, this is my newest friend, Larry Wells.

Well, how do you do?

My pleasure, Julie.

Hey, why don't we have these out on deck?

Seems a shame to waste such beautiful weather, hmm?

Um, okay.

Um, I'll see you later at dinner, Julie?

Mm-hmm.

Nice meeting you.

[ Sighs ]

Your ship is just lovely.

Thank you.

I haven't been this relaxed in a long time.

Why don't you call me "merrill"? Then we can both be relaxed.

[ Chuckles ] All right, merrill.

If you want to know a secret,

I already thought about you as a merrill

instead of as a captain.

Oh.

We'll just have to work all of that out, dear,

because I checked it out twice.

Oh. There's joanne.

Now's the time to tell her

she's not gonna be in the fashion show.

Look, Priscilla, if you don't want her in the show so much,

why don't you just tell her?

Because you booked her when you knew I didn't want her,

so you're going to be the one to tell her.

Joanne, hi.

Priscilla, Bob, hi.

I want you to meet some friends of mine.

Captain stubing, Priscilla and Bob Crawford.

How are you?

Hello.

Captain.

It's nice to meet you.

Thank you.

I was the crawfords' first model

when they opened up their agency.

Yes, captain, the three of us started out a long time ago --

a very long time ago.

[ Chuckles ] Uh, miss atkins is having dinner with me tonight.

I'd be very pleased if both of you would join us.

We'd love to.

Yes, we would.

Good.

Joanne, Bob wants to talk to you.

Oh, honey, not now. They're busy.

We can talk later.

Okay. See you at dinner.

See you later.

Bye-bye.

Priscilla, I just couldn't tell her then.

[ Sighs ]

I mean, she looked so happy.

You're right.

Why don't you wait and find a time when she looks very unhappy

and then tell her?

How do I look, huh? Okay?

You look beautiful.

If I were benita James,

I wouldn't be able to resist you, either.

I don't want to look that beautiful.

Just remember, the bosses of the whole factory

are waiting for those designs.

You got to get 'em tonight

so we can get 'em on the plane when we dock tomorrow.

Harry, would you relax, huh?

Don't worry about it. I'll get them.

In a way, it's too bad.

What? What's too bad?

Well, that benita James -- she's kind of a special gal.

I almost wish we didn't have to take advantage --

sid.

We're industrial spies, sid.

That's our business --

our only business.

Of course, Harry.

Then why don't I feel "of course"?

Liz, can I borrow your eyeliner?

Sure.

And your lipstick?

Here you go.

And your blush?

Why don't I just lend you my face?

But then what would you wear?

[ Knock on door ]

Oh, thank you.

Gee, I wonder what this could be.

Hmm.

It's perfume --

original sin.

I've been trying to think of an original sin for years.

"Having a lonely time.

Wish you were here, Charles."

Isn't that the guy

that was tryin' to pick you up on the deck?

He certainly is persistent.

Also a spender.

It's the family size.

Julie?

Hmm?

Julie, listen, something came up.

Larry's going to meet me in the pirate's cove,

and I can't have dinner.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I'll explain later, okay?

Listen, when are you and I going to get together? Oh!

Hey, there, sailor. Looking for some company?

My friend Melissa couldn't make it.

Uh, sorry, Julie. That place is reserved for someone else.

Dining with a model, right?

Well, it's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.

Mm-hmm.

Hi, gophie.

Hi, kid.

Julie, this is susie. Susie, this is Julie.

Why don't you see what doc's doing for dinner tonight?

Oh, something tells me he's not available, either,

but that's okay.

I'm not really all that hungry, anyway.

Bye, goph.

Hey there, doll.

You're the best-lookin' dish in this restaurant.

Oh, well, thank you, Mr., uh...

Bingle, but you can call me "frank."

Uh, if you're lookin' for dinner company, you can eat with me.

Oh, gee,

that's awfully sweet of you,

but I ate at the early sitting.

This is the early sitting.

Oh.

Well, then, why am I standing?

Uh-huh.

Mandy, I have made up my mind.

I have got to tell your father we're married.

I know -- right after the fashion show.

No. No, right away.

Really? You really mean it?

Well, yes. All this hiding behind his back is ridiculous.

As soon as he gets here, I am gonna tell him.

Oh, Alvin! [ Laughs ]

Good evening, my love.

Daddy.

Beale.

Mr. Blanchard.

Uh, sir, I-I have something I'd like to tell you.

I've decided --

i-I've decided...

I've...

I...

I...have decided...

On the prime rib.

Prime rib? Good, beale, good.

Prime rib.

So I said, "well, all models want to go to Hollywood

"to become actresses.

Don't worry. She'll come crawling back."

So since then,

I open the door to the agency every morning

expecting to see her, but for some reason,

Princess grace hasn't come crawling back yet.

Oh, what an exciting business you're all in.

Yes. After all this time, I still love it.

I don't know what we would do without it.

Isn't that right?

Right.

Right.

May I join you for dessert?

Thank you.

Well, there's one thing about you, Charles.

You don't take no for an answer.

You're wearing my perfume.

I'm the one that's got it on. It was too overpowering for her.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, that's okay, Charles.

It's the thought that counts.

Uh...

Well...

Like they say, two's company, and three's kinky.

Remember, you've got school tomorrow.

Right.

Liz, I want to tell you something.

Uh, Charles, look,

don't you think you're just moving a bit too fast?

You're absolutely right.

I think we should wait until we have some coffee, okay?

Waiter, two coffees, please.

[ Slow music playing ]

[ Music stops ]

That's what I call good dance music.

That was fun.

Well.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Mmm. You know, Sidney, I've always admired architects.

Well, of course.

That's because we're artistic, sensitive, and modest.

Especially modest.

Uh, excuse me. May we interrupt for a moment?

Sure. Hi, doc.

Hi.

Show her the sketch, Vicki.

Well, it's really crude.

That's all right. Let me have a look.

Hey! Gee, that's not bad at all.

Just one thing -- Vicki, have a look.

See this line here?

It's just a little out of proportion.

But other than that, it's very good, indeed.

You have a good sense of style.

Thank you.

All right. Look at this one.

Uh, doc, doc, they're on a date.

Oh, I'm sorry.

How about if we come back in 15 minutes?

Uh, doc.

I'm really impressed.

I mean, even kids coming to you for advice.

You must be good.

Oh, I am.

That's because I'm so artistic, sensitive, and modest.

Touché.

Sidney, would you like to see some of my designs?

Not really.

Oh?

You see, I'm only interested in the designer.

Oh, that's sweet.

[ Slow music playing ]

Imagine -- me dancing with you.

I can't believe it's happening.

I can't, either.

Hi.

Hi.

Excuse me.

May I cut in?

Oh, sure. Don't tire her out.

We've got a long night ahead of us.

Thank you.

I'm a doctor. I can't ignore someone in pain.

[ Music stops, applause ]

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

I am sure of it.

I know that man from someplace.

But I'm telling you,

he's as familiar as the back of my hand.

My hand --

wait a second.

That's where I know him from.

I did a nail-Polish commercial for his company.

That man is Charles Paris.

The cosmetic --

shh!

You mean the cosmetics magnate?

Yes.

The guy that's been searching for the new miss Paris?

That's him.

But you know what? I think he found her.

[ Slow music playing ]

Hi.

Hi.

Where's joanne?

Um...bob had some important business to discuss with her.

There's nothing wrong, is there?

No, not really.

Well...

Actually, joanne was booked into this fashion show by mistake.

Now Bob has to tell her she's out.

Oh.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I know she's been looking forward to being in the show.

I know.

But the sad truth is, joanne is too old for the business now.

But she's a beautiful woman.

I agree with you, captain.

Unfortunately, the camera no longer agrees with either one of us.

Before you tell me anything,

I want to tell you something, Bob.

You've been an understanding friend to me

through some low times,

but now everything is on an upswing.

I'm working again.

I met captain stubing, who's just a marvelous man.

You look so serious, Bob. What is it?

Um, well, uh, joanne,

I-I don't know how to tell you this.

You and Priscilla are not having

some kind of trouble, are you?

Uh, well, living with Priscilla has never been easy,

but that's not it.

Oh, that's good. So, what is it?

Well, you see, um, joanne, we have this --

Priscilla thinks --

I know.

Priscilla always hated it when I wear my hair this way.

That's it, isn't it?

Yeah. That's what it is -- it's your hair.

Don't take it so hard, Bob.

No problem.

I'll change it back to the way Priscilla liked it.

It's gonna take some resetting.

Would you tell merrill I went back to my cabin

to play with my curlers?

Oh. Oh, sure.

And one more thing.

What?

Smile, will you? Everything is going great!

Aha.

Well, here we are -- home, sweet home.

I'm so glad daddy decided to go to bed early.

That means we can go to bed early.

Just promise me one thing --

on our 25th anniversary, you'll tell daddy we're married.

Mr. Blanchard,

what are you doing?

Aha. Saving my fashions.

I had a dream, a nightmare,

that every manufacturer in the world

was turning out my line -- every one except me.

And I won't sleep a wink

until I know these clothes are safely locked up.

In a laundry basket?

Aha. That's how I hide them until you get them downstairs.

Beale...

Don't get mugged on the way.

Daddy, you've been working too hard

getting this show together.

Towels.

I need more towels.

Excuse me.

See?

Take these towels and hide the clothes.

Now, beale, I want you to take these downstairs

to the purser's lobby...

And have them locked up

in those big vaults they have down there.

That's a good idea, sir.

I should have thought of that.

Good. Good. Good.

[ Sighs ]

That's it. Darling, I want you to go downstairs with him.

I've worked too hard to get this far.

He's very dumb, you know.

Well, I thought

we were finally gonna get a little time alone.

I knew it was too good to be true.

Well, this shouldn't take too long.

And we have about 10 seconds alone.

Let's go for it.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Time's up.

Not for me, it isn't.

Oh, no!

Uh, you wait for the elevator. I'll take the stairs!

Whoa!

I have a better idea.

You wait for the elevator. I'll take the stairs!

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Oh. I'll get that.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Oh, no. Sorry.

Hello.

No! Don't! Don't!

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Oh, thank goodness. You found it.

Where are the clothes?

She put 'em down the chute!

Oh, no! Come on. Let's go.

Our clothes! We came for our clothes!

Oh, you didn't have to do that, sir.

They'll be sent up to your room first thing in the morning.

No, we need 'em now! They just came down the chute!

I'm sorry. They're already in that washing machine.

Oh, no! No!

[ Gurgling ]

Did you really?

Yeah, I'm afraid I did.

[ Laughs ] Do you know, that's quite a coincidence?

I mean, my being a designer and you being an architect.

Yeah, well, I must say, you look a lot better in your dresses

than I do in my buildings.

Oh, thank you.

I've always been fascinated by architects.

Of the modern ones, the one I most admire is le corbusier.

Really? That's my idol.

As a matter of fact,

I had a chance to work with him a couple weeks ago.

Really?

Yeah.

But that's -- well, that's, uh, that's fascinating.

As corbusier once said

while discussing architectural concepts...

"Your cabin or mine?"

Well...

Well?

Well...

Um, as le corbusier must have also said,

"my cabin," but give me a chance to tidy up first, all right?

Shall we say, uh...20 minutes?

We shall say 20 minutes, yes.

Charles, I had a wonderful time tonight,

but please excuse me.

I've got to get my beauty sleep.

Don't sleep too long.

That would be unfair to the other girls.

Good night.

Elsie, have you been eavesdropping?

Uh, only to the good parts.

Uh, Liz, you know Paris cosmetics, right?

Sure. What about it?

Uh, well, how would you like to be the new miss Paris?

Are you kidding?

I'd love it, along with every other model in the country.

Uh, yeah, but every other model in the country

didn't just kiss Charles Paris good night.

[ Knock on door ]

Just a moment, please.

Hi.

Hi. Come on in.

Thank you.

Why don't you sit down

while I change into something indecent?

I'll just close my eyes and count to 10.

That's good.

Maybe in your case, I'll only count to five.

[ Laughs ]

Hey, wouldn't you know?

I forgot to offer you a drink.

Ta-da.

Ah, benita, you're so beautiful.

Oh, and you're so nice.

What's wrong?

I can't do it.

You're just too nice a girl for me to do it to you.

I can't take advantage of you.

But how would you be taking advantage of me?

I'm a big girl.

By, uh...Making a play for you.

You see...

I'm a married man.

What?!

Yeah.

But, sid --

i'm, uh, sorry, benita.

I'm sorry about everything.

Oh, you didn't get it!

Yeah, I got it. Piece of cake.

Terrific! I knew you could do it.

How'd you get away so fast?

I thought she was crazy about you.

I told her I was married.

Clever.

You know, Harry, if I did get married,

she's the kind of girl I'd like to marry.

She got beauty, brains.

Yes. She's sure got more brains than you got.

"I knew if I gave you enough rope,

you'd hang yourself -- benita."

[ Sighs ]

Ahhh!

Julie, hi!

Oh, we would have used Larry's room,

but we didn't want to disturb Larry's roommate.

Right. We wouldn't want to disturb Larry's roommate.

Thanks, Julie. I'll never forget this.

Neither will I.

[ Knock on door ]

You all right?

Am I all right?

Oh, it's nothing fatal -- just hair curlers.

Would you like to come in?

Thanks.

Joanne, I just came by to tell you

that you still have your whole life ahead of you.

That's nice to know,

but what in the world are you talking about?

About what Bob told you.

He didn't tell you?

Bob didn't tell me what?

I'm sorry. I was certain that he had told you.

Merrill, what was Bob supposed to tell me?

That...

That you weren't supposed to be booked

on the fashion show.

And that...

And that I've grown too old for the business.

Joanne, they're wrong.

You don't have to feel sorry, merrill,

because I don't.

This is a business for kids, new faces.

I knew from the day I started

it wasn't gonna go on forever.

Do you really feel that way?

Yes.

I knew my day was coming, and I'm ready for it.

Yes, I'm sure you are.

Now, let me get on with my witchcraft,

and I'll see you in the morning.

Right.

See you in the morning.

[ Yawns ]

Vicki!

Good morning.

Time to get up.

Good morning, sir.

Vicki, you look just like Julie.

Daddy, Julie stayed with me last night.

I hope you don't mind, sir.

Oh, no, of course not.

What was wrong with your cabin?

Well, it had an extra person in it.

Oh, yes, your girlfriend, Melissa.

No, her boyfriend, Larry.

Oh.

Here you are, sir.

Well, good morning.

Hi. You know something I forgot to tell you last night?

You're gorgeous.

You also forgot to tell me that you're Charles Paris.

Well, you never asked.

Well, why didn't you tell me?

It wouldn't have changed anything.

I suppose not.

But it's supposed to be a secret that I'm on board.

Well, Elsie told me,

so that means that within a half an hour,

the whole ship will know.

Well, Vicki, these are really promising, honestly.

I can't believe it.

I'm sitting here having breakfast

with one of the top designers in the world!

Oh, California will do. Do you mind if I keep this one?

Do you really mean it?

Sure.

Wait till I tell my dad! He'll fall off the bridge!

Oh, I hope not.

Well, well, well. Good morning to you.

Good morning.

Oh, please, do sit down.

Thank you.

You know, I forgot to ask you something.

When you were working with le corbusier a few weeks ago,

as you said you were,

how did he look?

Corbusier? Oh, he looked fine.

Oh, well, that's very interesting,

considering the fact he's been dead over 15 years.

Well...

Now that you mention it, he did look a little pale.

I started suspecting you a few days ago

when you were doodling.

You can't even draw a straight line.

Those lines were just as crooked as the one you handed me.

Now, look, I'm sorry.

Yeah, sure.

When I first started, it was just another job.

Oh, that's very commendable,

making a living stealing other people's ideas.

I think it stinks.

Well, maybe so.

But why did you go along with it if you knew?

Because I was falling for you.

I was falling for you, sid.

I was so naive to hope that maybe at the last minute,

you'd change -- oh, what's the use?

We're just wasting each other's time.

Doesn't have to be like that.

Now, listen to me.

I'll quit the profession.

No more spying.

Now, why should I believe you?

You give me one good reason why I should trust you.

Here's a good reason --

I'm in love with you.

And I think you feel the same way about me.

Yeah, I did until --

benita, spend the day with me, huh?

Give us another chance.

Hello.

Gopher?

Laundry said you were in a rush for these clothes,

so I brought them up myself.

Here you go.

How'd they turn out?

Fantastic.

Oh, gopher, you're a lifesaver.

Oh, no, no, no.

Hey, I didn't know you made clothes for kids.

You're surprised, right?

I bet you two guys didn't think

the ship's laundry could do that great a job, huh?

Oh, no.

Well, there, you see? Not a wrinkle.

Hey, hey...

Good luck tomorrow on the show, seriously.

Thanks, gopher.

You bet.

Oh, boy, we got a small problem here.

Julie?

Hmm?

Oh, Julie, I'm sorry

about bringing Larry to your cabin last night.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Oh, Julie, Larry's terrific. I think I'm falling in love.

Oh, that's wonderful. I'm happy for you.

Well, you know, that's not going to affect us one little bit.

I still want to spend

a lot of time with you on this cruise.

Well, good. I'm on a coffee break.

There's no time like the present.

So, what's been goin' on?

We--

uh, you remember Julie.

Of course.

Melissa, I love you.

Yeah, well, I've got to be going.

No, no, no. No arguing.

Now, you two are just gonna have to get along without me.

It's not my --

Priscilla, dear, do us both a favor, will you?

Just take care of the girls,

and I'll take care of the business, okay?

Georgia, Kelly, susanne, stay out of the sun.

Now, your skin's gonna dry up.

You already look like three raisins.

Uh, captain?

Captain, I'm sorry about what happened last night.

Oh, yes.

Yes, we certainly never expected joanne to hear the bad news

from you instead of from who was supposed to tell her.

Well, it doesn't matter who told her.

She took it like the classy lady she is.

I'm sure she did.

Well, good morning.

Good morning.

Morning.

[ Sighs ]

Well, I mean, it had to be done.

You know something?

That is exactly what lady Macbeth was saying to me

just the other night.

I'm gonna get a drink.

Okay. I don't see him. Come on.

Alvin, this is silly.

Sooner or later, daddy's gonna find out we're married,

and he's gonna find out the dresses are ruined.

Look, you can't hide from him for the rest of the cruise.

I don't want to hide from him for the rest of the cruise.

I want to hide from him for the rest of my life.

Look, I just -- I just want to stall him

for a few minutes until I can think of something, okay?

Oh, there they are, Mr. Blanchard. Alvin!

Well, did you think of something yet?

Mandy, beale, where have you two been?

I've been looking all over for you.

I think Tina here is putting on a little weight.

I'm afraid my dresses may be a little too small for her.

She's gonna model your dresses?

Yeah. What's wrong with that?

Oh, nothing.

I just wanna make sure I have a front-row seat.

How did he see my dresses?

How -- oh, sir, he's the purser.

He's in charge of the vault.

Oh, good, good. Catch up with him.

Take the green and white silk dress and have Tina try it on.

Uh, sir, excuse me.

Could I -- could I have a word with you alone

for a minute, please?

Sir?

What is it?

I think -- I think Tina might be a spy.

Spy?

Shh!

You know, sir, this morning -- this morning --

i saw her talking to one of your competitors.

Just like in that bad dream I had.

Yeah, and you know what they say --

dreams can come true.

You're right.

Tina...

I think you look just fine.

Worse comes to worst,

we can always let the dress out a speck, huh?

Why don't you just go lie down and rest?

Thanks, beale. You saved the day!

Harry.

I just got a call from the home office.

They want to know what we're doing.

Well, I don't know what you're doing, Harry,

but I'm having a drink.

Sid, this is important.

They've offered us a $10,000 bonus

if we get the stuff by tonight, so get serious.

Okay, Harry. I'll get serious.

I'm seriously disgusted with myself

for even being a part of this operation.

I quit.

Ciao, Harry.

Sid!

Ohh.

[ Knock on door ]

Joanne.

I hope I'm not disturbing you.

No, not at all. Come right in.

Merrill, I thought I should tell you

that I'm gonna cut short the cruise

and leave in acapulco.

But, joanne, even though you're not gonna be in the show,

the trip is all paid for.

You don't have to go.

I know I don't have to go, merrill,

but it would be embarrassing for me to keep hanging around.

So, what reason would there be for me to stay?

Well, perhaps I'll stay on board

for at least a couple more miles.

Charles, I've never been happier.

You know, I came on this cruise

looking for a certain kind of girl.

But I found a lot more than I was looking for.

Hey, Julie.

Hey, anything wrong?

No, nothing.

Are you sure?

Well, it's silly.

It's just that with all these gorgeous models on the ship,

plain old Julie's kind of left behind.

Oh, Julie. You're anything but plain.

You're a charming, vivacious, desirable young woman.

Come on, Julie. Let's show them how it's done.

[ Slow music plays ]

Now, you see, Bob, life goes on.

Joanne seems to be very happy.

Yeah, well, I'm glad joanne is happy...

Even if it is no thanks to us.

You mean no thanks to me, don't you, darling?

I didn't make the rule

that says if you're over 35, you're finished.

Maybe if we didn't enforce it, it wouldn't be a rule.

Oh, yes?

I don't notice that many 40-year-old players

on that football team you root for every Sunday.

You're such a hypocrite.

Yeah, you're right, Priscilla.

You're finally admitting you're a hypocrite?

How come?

Because I've finally just stopped being one.

You know, I don't like the way you do business, Priscilla.

Oh, you don't?

Well, why don't you sell me your half of the agency?

Fine.

Fine.

And when you mail the check,

be sure and send half our marriage certificate, too.

Here you go, Mr. Blanchard. This is my fashion-show special.

One sip and you come apart at the seams.

Speaking of fashion shows --

daddy, Alvin has something important to tell you.

Yes, beale?

Uh...well, sir, uh...

What I wanted to say was...

Uh... Have you ever considered

getting into the children's clothing business?

What?!

What?

Well, uh...

What I mean is, uh... See, we could, uh,

we could make dresses exactly like the ones we have,

only in children's sizes.

Little, teensy-weensy, little dresses.

You're kidding.

No, sir.

Anyone can think big,

but it takes a really big man to think small.

Low-cut evening gowns on little girls?

Sure. What's wrong with that?

Beale...

Full-grown women have something

that little girls don't.

You're right.

Where would a little girl get $1,000 for a dress?

Oh, I had a wonderful time tonight, Charles, really.

Thank you.

You know, I don't mind telling you it's, uh --

it's taken me a long time to find you.

Oh, you don't have to say that.

You know, I've been surrounded

by beautiful women all my life, but...

Well, you're, uh, really something quite different.

Well, I hope they think so at the fashion show tomorrow.

[ Both chuckle ]

Well, it's been a long day. I guess you gotta get some rest.

I hope I can. Elsie loves to talk.

Well, there's always my cabin.

Is it quiet?

Well, that depends on the occupants.

[ Both chuckle ]

[ Door opens ]

[ Sighs ]

Well, Melissa, you're back early.

Did you have a good time?

Oh, you know -- the usual.

Larry and I had drinks. We had dinner.

He asked me to marry him.

And then we took a stroll out on the deck.

He what?!

Julie! Aah!

He asked me to marry him!

That is the most wonderful news!

When's the big day?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow? You two certainly don't waste any time.

Well, Larry's very impulsive.

He wants us to fly to Paris from acapulco.

Paris!

Yes, he says it's the only place to get married.

Oh, that's the most romantic thing I ever heard.

Oh, you're gonna have the happiest face

in the whole fashion show.

Well, not exactly.

You see, the plane leaves before the show.

But how can you miss the show? Won't you get in trouble?

Well, I'll talk to Priscilla. She'll understand.

She better understand.

Oh, well, this calls for a celebration.

Yes, it certainly does.

And Larry and I are gonna go celebrate right now!

So sleep tight. I'll see you later.

Ohh! I'm so excited!

[ Door closes ]

Whoopee.

Well, I'll thank you for a lovely evening.

Good night, sid.

Aren't you afraid to offer me your hand?

It's got a ring on it. I might steal it.

Hey, I'm sorry. I-I --

you still don't trust me, do you?

Well, you know what they say -- once burned...

Come on, benita. Give me a break.

What more can I do? I've quit my job.

We spent a beautiful day together, didn't we?

Yeah.

You know I love you. You gotta believe that.

Well, I want to believe it, sid.

I want to believe it so very, very much.

I'm willing to spend the rest of my life proving it.

Sid...could you do me one favor, please?

Anything.

Take off my pearls.

I am sure gonna miss working with you.

Do you realize that this is probably our last show together?

Oh, I'm not so positive about that.

I mean, if Charles wanted me for miss Paris,

I'm sure he would've said something by now.

Oh, but he did say that he's searching

for somebody just like you, right?

Yes.

I mean, and he's obviously in love with you.

And I love him.

Well, who do you think is going to be the new miss Paris --

gopher?

I mean, every model on this ship knows that you're in.

So congratulations, kid.

Well, from the looks of things, Charles,

this cruise has turned out to be

more than just a vacation for you.

Well, if that's your subtle way

of asking if I've found miss Paris yet,

the answer is "no comment."

Mm-hmm.

I'll let you in on a secret -- she's my favorite.

Well, considering the amount of time

you two have spent together, I'd hardly say it was a secret.

She is lovely, though.

Priscilla?

Huh?

Priscilla, where's Bob? I have to speak to him.

If it's business, you don't talk to him anymore.

Just to me.

Oh, well...

Okay, um...

I have a little teensy problem with the fashion show.

What?

I can't do it.

Oh, that's too bad.

I hope you've got a good reason.

I'm getting married.

I said a good reason.

Now, you listen to me. This isn't New York.

I can't just call up and get another model over here.

You leave me one girl short,

I'll see to it you never work again.

Oops.

It's not working. I'm not a model!

Julie...

Look, you are the only one -- the only one --

I would allow to take my place.

You're pretty. You're graceful.

Ha!

But most important, you wear my size!

Okay, I'll give it another try.

Okay. Look, let's forget the walking.

Good idea.

The pose is the most important thing in modeling.

All right.

Now, let's just pretend

we have a string attached to the top of our head,

and it's going to pull us up... Up...Up.

Welcome to acapulco.

Passengers wishing to attend

the international festival of fashions

may make transportation arrangements

in the purser's lobby.

Oh, Alvin, I almost forgot.

Mr. Blanchard headed out to the show the moment we docked.

He wants you to meet him there with the clothes.

Well, he'll get half his wish. I'll be there.

Thanks, gopher.

All right.

Mandy, I want you to stay on the ship.

I'll go, and I'll break the bad news to your father.

There's no sense both of us getting killed.

All right, but let me know what happens.

Call me.

I won't have to.

The show's only eight miles away.

You'll hear the screams.

Priscilla?

I've been looking all over for you.

Did you think I jumped overboard because Bob and I broke up?

I just heard. I came to say I'm sorry.

Everyone thought you showed great class

when you got your bad news.

I'm sure nobody's saying such nice things about me.

The thing is, Priscilla,

that you always give the impression

that you don't care what people think about you.

Of course I care what people think about me.

Especially Bob.

I don't think Bob knows that.

Of course he doesn't know it.

Because he's an idiot...

And a hypocrite...

And a darling man.

And for the first time,

I realize how much I really love and need him.

And I owe it all to you.

But I didn't say anything.

You didn't have to. You didn't have to say anything.

'Cause you've got class.

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome to the seventh annual

international festival of fashions.

You are now going to meet

some of the world's most famous and talented designers,

who -- I promise --

will dazzle you with their latest creations.

To begin, let's welcome one of Hollywood's finest designers.

His clothes for many of the stars

have won him all kinds of awards --

Mr. Bob mackie.

Thank you, Priscilla.

These are my designs for this afternoon.

For a relaxing evening at home, here's Cathy Naples

in a lavender feather-lace and satin robe over a matching gown.

And here's a little attention-getter.

Yvette Aubrey

in a paradise-beige lace and satin Teddy

topped off with a short ruffled-lace jacket.

Or for a really special moment, Tina rorke in this orchid robe

with enormous lace-trimmed sleeves

over an all-lace camisole with matching bikini.

And the perfect choice for a bride's trousseau,

Jaime blank in a white ruffled feather-lace robe

over a matching gown.

[ Applause ]

Thank you.

Thank you.

To continue this visual feast,

here's a beautiful lady

whose designs have become a smashing success --

miss Gloria Vanderbilt.

Thank you.

You may enjoy looking at some of my summer fashions.

For instance, walking the deck is easy for sunny redman

in my white short shorts of 100% cotton twill.

So classic with a black Polo shirt in 100% cotton.

Kiki is cool and terrific in my knee-length Jamaica shorts,

complete with cuffs.

A red classic shirt tops off the tropical look.

Michaela wears my new white jeans --

sporty and sophisticated.

A blue v-neck cotton shirt brings the whole look together.

When the lights go down,

my peach linen trousers shine in the moonlight --

and so does Debra halley,

who teams them with a matching peach classic Polo shirt.

Well, here's a gentleman who really needs no introduction.

He's one of the world's most distinguished designers --

Mr. Geoffrey beene.

Thank you.

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

Good afternoon, everyone. A bit of color for today.

Sunny, feeling sunny,

in a full-length skirt in nutmeg handkerchief linen.

This blouse is made from marigold raw silk.

Jeff, her escort, wearing handkerchief linen,

regimental stripe.

Debra in shantung, crepe De chine --

silk jacket, silk t-shirt, soft pants.

Casual, comfortable, American.

Scott, her escort's, jacket is in raw silk.

We're privileged to present

a spectacular newcomer to the world of fashion --

miss benita James.

Thank you very much, Priscilla.

I hope you like what you're going to see here today.

My first model is joanne adkins.

Joanne is wearing a 3-piece cocktail suit

in hot pink and aqua.

The heavily beaded chiffon

gives it an air of heavy sophistication.

My next model is Julie McCoy.

Say, isn't that our Julie? Yeah, that is our Julie!

Well, what's she doing up there?

Looking beautiful. Just beautiful.

I'm just getting over joanne's being in the show,

and there's Julie.

Julie is wearing something very exciting and dramatic --

a black harem dress with a jeweled neckline

for dinner for two

or for the fanciest of all cocktail parties.

[ Applause ]

And here comes Elsie Robbins.

Elsie is wearing a red organza cocktail dress

featuring a tulip skirt and a divine halter bodice.

Priscilla, what is joanne doing in the show?

Well, you said I own the whole business now,

so I can do what I want.

It's my business.

And finally, we have Liz Farrell.

[ Applause ]

Now, doesn't Liz look lovely in her blue Jersey pajama?

It's chic, it's comfortable,

and it's ready to go anywhere.

Are you sure you haven't found your Paris girl yet?

Well, frankly, I have,

but I'm not going to reveal her name till we get to New York.

[ Applause ]

And now, as we continue our festival of fashions

with the world's top designers,

it's an honor for me to present

a truly brilliant and original artist --

the fabulous halston.

[ Applause ]

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I am pleased to be here.

What you're about to see

reflects the excitement of night.

Pat Cleveland is wearing a dress and jacket

in silver-and-Pearl embroidery.

Very movie-starish and dancy and really catches the light.

This romantic ruffle dress

is alluring across the dinner table.

It's worn by Margaret donahoe.

I like red.

It's lively and makes you feel good.

The gold-beaded pajama halverchin is wearing

has a built-in glamour when you really want to sparkle.

And it's as easy to wear as a sweater.

The purple one-shoulder dress on Chris royers

is dramatic and entrance-making.

It's an interesting cut and can be worn many ways.

I love to see people dancing. It's so romantic and such fun.

This extravagant white-satin organza dress on Karen bjornson

is just for that occasion.

Nothing is prettier than a dress that moves.

[ Applause ]

Mr. Blanchard?

Uh, i-i-I've been looking all over for you.

That's all right. I didn't want to bother you.

I know you went backstage with the models, right?

Helping them with the clothes? How'd they look?

Well, uh, actually...They don't look too --

they look great, don't they? I knew they would.

Wait till everybody sees those clothes.

Well, sir, you see, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.

Shh, shh, shh. We're next.

And now to present the Harley Blanchard originals,

here's Mandy Blanchard.

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

We feel a Blanchard original is a one-of-a-kind fashion.

And that's why this year, we present only one design.

What is she talking about?

I don't know, sir.

[ "Here comes the bride" plays ]

What could be more thrilling for a new bride

than a wedding dress in white moray silk

in the renaissance style?

[ Up-tempo music plays ]

From the wedding reception to an evening gown

to the disco reception is easy.

Under the jacket is a gold-beaded bodice.

The voluminous skirt of the gown becomes an evening cape.

And magically,

the bride is wearing gold lamé boots and knickers.

Talk about versatility. This is really it.

That's not my --

don't you know that's mine? That's the dress I designed.

That's the one I wanted you to see, you remember?

W-W-When --

you picked a wonderful time to show me.

Well, I --

you've ruined me!

You've ruined me!

Congratulations.

Halston.

It was magnificent.

Was it?

Yes.

I'd like you to meet my designer.

How do you do?

Hello.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

it's my pleasure to introduce to you

a man who has created his own inimitable design...

In music --

the always fashionable Bobby short.

[ Plays introduction ]

♪ The most beautiful girl in the world ♪

♪ picks my ties out, drinks my Brandy ♪

♪ eats my candy ♪

♪ the most beautiful girl in the world ♪

♪ the most beautiful star in the world ♪

♪ isn't garbo, isn't Dietrich ♪

♪ but the sweet trick ♪

♪ who can make me believe it's a beautiful world ♪

♪ social? Not a bit ♪

♪ natural kind of wit ♪

♪ she'd shine anywhere ♪

♪ and she hasn't got platinum hair ♪

♪ the most beautiful house in the world ♪

♪ has a mortgage ♪

♪ what do I care? It's goodbye, care ♪

♪ when my slippers are next to the ones that belong ♪

♪ to the one and only beautiful girl in the world ♪

♪ social? Not a bit ♪

♪ natural kind of wit ♪

♪ she'd shine anywhere ♪

♪ and she hasn't got platinum hair ♪

♪ the most beautiful house in the world ♪

♪ has a mortgage ♪

♪ what do I care? It's goodbye, care ♪

♪ when my slippers are next to the ones that belong ♪

♪ to the one and only ♪

♪ beautiful girl in ♪

♪ the world ♪

[ "The most beautiful girl in the world" plays ]

Julie!

[ Cheers and applause ]

I may be a little prejudiced, but as far as I'm concerned,

your designs were the hit of the show.

Thank you, kind sir.

And thank you so much for buying me this lovely friendship ring.

I really like it.

It's only the beginning, sweetheart.

I hope so.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, no, wait a minute.

You don't think that I did this?!

No. [ Chuckling ] No.

Of course you didn't do it, sid. Of course not.

You just kept me out

while somebody else did it for you, right?!

Benita, I sw--

no, you listen to me. You know just as well as I do

that your boss will be selling cheap copies of my dresses

before the week's out.

Go!

Benita, I sw--

go! I told you, go!

Get out of my life!

We hope you enjoyed acapulco

and the international festival of fashions.

You are all invited to celebrate with us tonight

on the lido deck.

Big hand for the little lady.

Guys, guys, one at a time.

Julie, I gotta hand it to you,

there were a lot of lovely ladies in that show today,

but you were the loveliest.

Oh, thanks, doc.

You guys are sweet, but it wasn't me. It was that gown.

That gown would make anybody look great.

Oh, I don't know about that, Julie.

I tried it on. It didn't do a thing for me.

[ Chuckles ]

Gopher...

Oh, Mr. Blanchard.

Congratulations on the show today.

That dress -- mmm -- big hit.

Thanks. When you do it right, one is enough.

Have you seen my daughter?

Uh, no, I haven't.

I don't know where she can be.

Excuse me.

Uh, would you care to dance

with the former owner of 50% of a modeling agency?

Oh, are you the same person

who owns 50% of a 15-year-old marriage license?

Yes, I am.

Uh...one question.

I shouldn't ask, but I'm going to.

Please answer quickly and honestly.

Did you ever have an affair with joanne?

Yes.

Since the day she started working for us.

A business affair.

The only kind of affair I've ever had with a woman

since we've been married.

[ Exhales sharply ]

What a fool I am.

Why did I suspect you all these years?

I don't know.

Maybe you were looking for an excuse not to love me.

Loving takes a lot of work.

You know me.

I love to work.

When can I start?

You just did.

Drumroll, please.

Ladies and gentlemen, just a few short words of thanks

to all the designers and their models

for making this fabulous fashion cruise a reality.

I'll let you in on a little secret.

Most of you don't know,

but Charles Paris from the house of Paris

is with us on this cruise.

[ Applause ]

I'm very proud to tell you

that he's found his new miss Paris

right here on our ship.

[ Audience oohs ]

He'll announce her name next week in New York.

[ Audience groaning ]

We don't want to pressure you, Charles,

but I don't think they're gonna wait till next week.

Charles, why don't you announce it tonight?

Why keep everyone in suspense, especially me?

There's something I have to tell you.

No, no, really. I understand.

It's not -- it's not you.

As some of you may know, my company's coming out

with a new perfume called "original sin."

And I met a model on the boat who is not only beautiful,

but whose very presence suggests a, um, a vital maturity.

And she'll enhance our product.

So, may I introduce her to you now --

the new miss Paris...

...joanne adkins!

[ Applause ]

Boy, you're full of surprises.

Yeah.

Liz...

How could you? I'm so humiliated.

You don't understand, Liz.

You were leading me on. You wanted joanne.

Yes, for the company.

But it's you I love.

Sure you do.

Not enough to make me miss Paris.

No, not miss Paris.

I want to make you Mrs. Paris.

Do you really mean that?

And will you do me one other favor?

Anything.

Give my perfume another chance.

[ Chuckling ] Oh. Okay.

To us.

Mmm.

[ Chuckles ]

Safe at last.

Alvin, have you seen -- Mandy!

What are you two doing in there?

Uh, daddy...

Uh-huh?

Sir, i-it's not what you think.

Don't try to tell me you're cutting patterns under there.

Daddy, we can explain.

There's no need to explain.

I may be old-fashioned, but I've got news for you.

Young man, you're going to marry that girl.

But, sir, we already are married.

Good, beale.

I like a man who follows orders.

My son!

My son.

My son?

[ Sobbing ]

Take it easy, sid.

Come on, come on, come on.

Benita...

Harry has something to say to you.

Go away and leave me alone.

Come on, tell her. Go on.

It was my idea, miss James.

It was me who went through your stuff

and grabbed one of your sketches.

Sid had nothing to do with it.

You sure of that?

Yeah, it's the truth.

Yeah, and that's a word that doesn't slide easily

over his lips.

Come on.

I'd give it back to you,

but it's already on the plane to L.A.

It's what?

It's on the plane.

It's on the plane, huh?

[ Chuckling ]

What's so funny?

Well, you see, the sketch you stole wasn't mine.

It was Vicki's -- the captain's daughter.

I sent a kid's design to my boss?

You sure did.

I gotta find a phone. I gotta find a phone!

Be sure to tell him I quit.

[ Laughing ] Oh. Hey.

Looks like I owe you an apology, right?

Hmm.

Benita, when you were a little girl...

Yeah?

...did you ever dream of growing up

and marrying a reformed industrial spy?

No, but my company is coming out

with a brand-new line of men's sportswear,

and now that you mention it,

I did dream of growing up and marrying a male model.

Hmm. Male model, huh?

Yep. Male model.

Get up a minute, sid, will you?

Mm-hmm.

Put your foot on there.

Go ahead.

My foot?

Yeah, your foot.

Let me see what kind of legs you've got.

Mmm.

Joanne, I can't tell you how happy I am for you.

I know you are, merrill.

I feel I know you so well.

I can't believe it's just a few days.

It's too bad we won't have the opportunity

to get to know each other better.

You'll be doing a lot of traveling as the Paris girl.

That's the trouble when things turn out just right for someone.

Even if they are just right, they are never just right.

Hmm.

I have won a new career...

But I might lose a man I like an awful lot.

Joanne...

...if it means as much to you as it means to me,

we'll meet again.

Ah! Captain.

Charles.

The wedding's going to be next month in palm Springs,

and we'd love to have you.

Yes, please try to come.

Well, I'll do my best.

There's only one problem.

Palm Springs -- where do I park my ship in the desert?

[ Laughter ]

We'll see you then.

Bye-bye now.

Yes.

Hey! Well, congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Beale.

Thank you, Isaac.

Boy, these two can really keep a secret, huh?

Can you imagine? My own daughter.

Oh, daddy, we weren't sure you would approve.

Of course I approve.

I'm not losing a daughter.

I'm gaining a dress designer.

So long.

Bye-bye.

Elsie...

Hi.

Such a shame -- the cruise is over,

and we didn't get a chance to have dinner once.

Well, I had dinner.

I mean together.

Oh, um, well, now that my work is finished,

how about dinner in town tonight?

Just the two of us.

Uh...yeah...

I mean -- oh, certainly. Yes. Right, yeah!

Isaac, Isaac...

We've got that public-relations dinner for the line tonight.

Ohh.

I'm sorry.

Oh, wait a minute. That party isn't tonight.

It's tomorrow night.

Uh, we just want to say our goodbyes.

We had a great time, doc.

Thank you very much, doc.

I really enjoyed the cruise. It was wonderful.

But thanks to him, I didn't get any work done.

Oh.

Okay, Vicki, the farewell present.

For us?

Thank you.

Aww. Oh, it is lovely.

Oh, I just love it. Thank you.

It's great, Vicki.

We're gonna send you a photograph of the real thing.

Oh, good. Bye-bye.

[ Laughter ]

Well, goodbye.

Goodbye, captain.

Goodbye, merrill.

Goodbye, joanne.

Take care of my Paris girl.

We will. She's in good hands.

And take care of yourselves.

Thank you.

Don't worry. He's in good hands, too.

Goodbye, merrill.

Goodbye, joanne.

[ Sighs ]

This has certainly been a glamorous cruise.

You know, I think I may have found a new career.

Whoa!