Original subtitles

♪ Love, exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard it's love ♪

Mm-hmm!

Some snazzy ship, huh?

Yes, mother.

[Chuckles]

And, oh... yes, yes. Great hunting grounds.

Oh, mother, come on!

Honey, there are bound to be

tons of eligible young men on board for you.

Shh!

And if one of them

happens to turn out filthy rich...

I won't complain.

Doc!

Mike! [Laughs] Good to see you, man.

Or should I say Dr. Lucas?

Captain stubing, I'd like you to meet Mike Lucas,

who just happens to be a terrific doctor.

Nice to meet you, Mike.

How do you do, captain?

I'd like you to meet the lady I'm going to marry, Tracy cotts.

-Hi. -Tracy, what a pleasure.

It's nice to finally meet the man who made Mike a doctor.

Mike is from my hometown, cedar flats.

I was chairman of the committee there that paid for his medical education.

Oh, I never heard of a town doing that before.

Well, cedar flats isn't very big.

That was the only way they could get a doctor. Train their own.

And it was a pretty good deal for Mike, too.

Oh, you're a lucky man. I guess congratulations are in order.

Thank you, captain.

Now, what are your plans?

A cruise, a wedding, and then on to cedar flats to hang up your shingle?

Well... Something like that.

Now, see here, young man, if you're planning

to live together in cedar flats without a marriage license,

you're asking for a tar and feather ambush.

Right. Look, doc, I think we'll get settled in the cabin.

We'll see you later, okay? Nice to meet you, captain.

Nice meeting you. Enjoy the cruise.

Thank you.

There's a young man with a bright future.

Mike should be sitting on top of the world.

So why do I get the feeling he isn't?

Hey! Hey, Johnny!

I think you better put turn signals on that thing.

I'm sorry, Julie...

But I have just been struck by lightning.

[Mother hums appreciatively]

Huh?

Oh, I see. Well, be careful.

I think next to that lightning, I see a thundercloud.

Ah.

Well, there's another possibility for you.

Mother, I'll pick out my own dates, thank you.

That is a laugh.

Remember, it's just as easy

to fall in love with a rich man, okay?

Ohh!

It looks like fort Knox just walked on the boat.

See those clothes? The shirt? The tie?

That's money. M-o-n-e-y.

Now, that's the kind of man I want for my daughter.

What do I need him for? Why don't I just marry his suit?

[Clears throat]

Excuse me, sir. I'm the ship's valet,

and I'd be glad to hang those up for you.

Oh, thank you. But be very careful. They're custom-tailored.

No problem. I'll treat them like they were my very own.

Better than that, I would hope.

Oh, hello.

One perfect blossom for one perfectly lovely lady.

Gee, thanks.

Debbins. Jesse debbins.

Welcome aboard, Mr. Debbins.

I'm Julie McCoy, your cruise director.

This is burl Smith, our assistant purser.

And this is Vicki, our captain's daughter.

Welcome aboard.

[Jesse] Greetings to one and all.

What are you doing here?

Isaac.

Looks like my nephew is less than glad to see me.

Nephew?

Nephew?

Nephew?

I may be his nephew,

but he's not in the family. Not anymore.

Please excuse my nephew's behavior, sir.

It seems that my past is somewhat checkered.

But I've changed, Isaac, and I hope you'll give me a chance to show you.

Uncle Jesse.

Sometime soon. Right now, I can't help noticing this fine, young woman

waiting so patiently behind me.

I just wanted to know where my cabin was.

Oh, please, allow me.

Ah, aleta Daniels. Fiesta deck 212.

Julie, is that anywhere near my cabin?

[Julie] Oh, no, sir.

Good.

The further our cabins are apart, the better.

My doctor told me to get plenty of exercise.

[Laughs]

Huh.

Do you mind?

Thank you.

One perfect blossom for one perfectly lovely lady.

[Aleta] Thank you, Mr...

Debbins. Jesse debbins.

Okay. Hmm.

[Chuckles] Oh, well. Easy come, easy go.

That man just ain't no good.

Well, if you want to tell him personally,

he's staying in the presidential suite.

Well, that's appropriate, since he's been in prison under five presidents.

[Ship horn blowing]

[Cheering, chatter]

[Knock at door]

Come in.

Captain stubing?

Yes.

I'm Don gray, United States treasury.

I believe you were expecting me?

Oh, yes. Somehow, Mr. Gray,

you don't fit my image of what treasury agents look like.

Really? And what do treasury agents look like?

Oh, you know, like sour-faced men in baggy suits.

Oh, no, that's the FBI.

[Chuckles] Please, have a seat.

Thank you.

Your cable wasn't specific.

Uh, can you tell me the nature of your assignment?

Of course. The secret service has received a tip

that a large sum of counterfeit money

will be smuggled aboard this ship in Ensenada.

Unfortunately, we don't know how or by whom.

I see. And what can my crew and I do to assist you?

-Nothing. -Nothing?

Captain, we're up against pros here.

I can't risk having my cover blown.

Just let me circulate around the ship as a normal passenger.

If you should see something suspicious, let me know.

You mean... by code?

No. I mean by phone.

Hello? This is Jay bostwick...

In the aloha suite.

Yes, I've been calling the valet shop, but nobody answers.

They sent me up the wrong clothes.

Why, yes, of course I am sure they are the wrong clothes.

If these are my clothes,

then I have grown two feet since I boarded.

Yes. There was a pair of brown slacks,

immaculately tailored, Scottish woolen,

and a white cashmere blazer

with initialed gold buttons.

[Sighs]

Beautiful day, isn't it?

Johnny?

Shh!

What's with the clothes? Aren't you working?

Look, I'll get my work done, I promise,

but I've got to meet her.

Who?

The girl from the lobby.

Oh, but Johnny, i--

shh!

It's not Johnny.

[Clears throat] It's Jonathan.

Jonathan?

Oh, look, look, look, look.

Oh, mother, please!

Honey, that jacket. That's big bucks.

Hello! Yoo-hoo! Yoo-hoo!

Yes. Yes, you. [Laughs flirtatiously]

Hello, ladies. Ripping morning.

Oh, yes, isn't it?

I'm Jonathan gilmore.

Oh, hello. Ann Marshall. My daughter Suzanne.

Call her Suzie.

Well, hello, Suzie.

Hello.

So, tell me, are you enjoying the cruise?

Well, we're having a marvelous time now. [Laughs]

Aren't we, Suzie?

Hmm? Marvelous.

Well, you see, this is our first cruise.

Really?

Oh, but I can tell it's not your first... Crossing.

[Chuckles] Hardly.

As a matter of fact, you might say I practically live on this ship.

Oh, you do? Well...

I bet you have the most beautiful smile, if you'd use it.

[Ann] It should be a beautiful smile.

Those teeth cost me an arm and a leg.

-She wore braces until she was 17. -Mother!

I did, too. The full job.

I had enough track to stretch from New York to San Francisco.

I thought I would never, ever get a date.

Really? You did, too?

Oh, you bet.

But in your case, it was obviously worth it.

Thank you.

Say, how about joining us for dinner tonight?

Uh...

Would you... please?

I'll be there. You can count on it.

[Laughs]

[Ann] That's just marvelous!

[Laughs nervously]

Uh... if you'll excuse me,

I have a very pressing engagement.

Well, I'm glad I took you on this tour.

There's lots of things on the ship I've never seen before.

[Laughs] It was great, doc, thanks. Wasn't it, honey?

Oh, yeah. It was really, really nice.

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I'll see you at dinner.

Okay.

I thought you were going to tell him.

I will, Tracy, I will.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I can't just blurt it out.

"Gee, doc, thanks for putting me through medical school, but I changed my mind.

I'd rather practice medicine in New York than cedar flats."

He'll understand. He's gonna know

you'll make more in one year in daddy's hospital

than you would in ten years in that small town of yours.

Honey, you don't have to convince me.

Well... then will you please tell him and get it over with?

Just give me a little more time.

Hey, I understand your feelings.

After all, how can anybody live in a town that doesn't have a Gucci's?

Are you making fun of me?

I'd rather make fun with you.

Ohh.

Hi, gopher.

Hi, Jesse.

What's happening, Isaac?

Well, right now, nothing much.

In the past three years since we've heard from you, plenty.

-Can we talk about it? -I'm kinda busy.

That's cool. I'll just have a refill, then.

Okay.

Only tomato juice. I haven't had a drink in three years.

Three years?

-Thanks a lot, Isaac. -Uncle Jesse...

Um... I'm gonna be at the pirate's cove

a little later if you want to drop by.

I'll do that.

Gopher.

Bye, Jesse.

[Playing upbeat tune]

[Laughter]

All right!

"Basin street blues." Do you know that one?

[Chattering]

No, how about "ain't misbehaving"?

No, no, no. Now it's my turn to make a request.

I'd like you all to join me in an old favorite.

[Starts playing]

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy birthday dear... ♪

[Jesse] ♪ Isaac ♪

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

[Cheering]

Uncle Jesse, what are you doing?

You're... three months early for my birthday.

Isaac, for this birthday, I'm 15 years late.

Happy birthday, my man.

Oh, wow! High-tops.

You think it's too late to try out for your eighth-grade basketball team?

Uncle Jesse, why are you doing this?

How come, after all these years,

you're interested in being my uncle again?

Well, Isaac... A couple of months ago,

i finally won some serious money in Vegas.

And I realized for the first time in my life

that I had something to give and no one to give it to.

So now I'm gambling that you'll let me back into the family.

I know the odds aren't exactly in my favor.

Well, happy birthday, anyway, Isaac.

Your uncle, huh?

Yeah.

Isaac, you know, your uncle really does love you.

Do you know he can still recite all your little league batting averages?

Are you kidding? I can't even do that.

Listen, um, would you like to go to Ensenada with us?

Jesse wanted to ask you, but he was afraid you'd say no.

Oh, thanks, but I have to stay on board.

Besides, it takes a little time

getting used to an uncle you never knew you had.

Yeah.

[Gopher, over pa] Passengers wishing to take the nightclub tour in Ensenada,

please make arrangements in the purser's lobby after dinner.

Yes, it's gone.

Not my underwear.

My tuxedo! Where is my tuxedo?

Johnny, what are you doing here?

I'm off duty.

But you're not supposed to be in the dining room. You know that.

Julie, please. Just this once, okay?

I'll do your cleaning for a month.

Never mind about that. Just don't get caught.

Where did the tuxedo come from?

Oh. Ah, well...

First, there's a boy silkworm,

and then there's a girl silkworm...

Later.

Good evening, ladies. You both look exquisite.

[Clears throat] Well, that makes three of us.

You two are in for a treat. The food here is sensational.

Good, because I'm starved.

[Laughs] Starved?

She eats like a bird.

A bird of paradise, obviously.

[Ann] Oh, Suzie, I like that man.

I like the way he dresses. I like the way he talks.

Tell you what, Jonathan.

If you'd like to be alone with Suzie after dinner,

I won't object.

[Fork dings against glass]

To Dr. Lucas.

Who I know will make me proud to be a member of the profession.

Mike has something he wants to say to you.

Well, go ahead. Dr. Bricker will understand.

Understand what?

Doc, I may as well tell you.

I've changed my mind.

I'm not going back to cedar flats after all.

What?

[Mike] Tracy's father is Dr. Benjamin cotts.

He has a hospital with a great reputation.

He wants me to work with him.

Oh.

-Where is the hospital? -It's in New York.

[Laughs] It's a big city. Where exactly in New York?

On park Avenue.

Well, it'll be good for Mike to work under daddy.

He's really inspiring. You'll see for yourself.

His yacht's meeting us in acapulco.

I assume it's a hospital ship?

I suggest a toast.

To park Avenue's newest and finest doctor.

Gopher, could I talk to you for a minute?

Sure. What's the matter?

It's about my uncle Jesse.

He says he's changed.

He acts like he's changed. And I want to believe he's changed.

But I just don't know if I can trust him.

Well, speaking professionally,

it's awfully hard not to trust a guy that pays cash for everything.

My uncle is not running a tab?

Mm-mm.

That is a change.

Hey, you two. How was Ensenada?

[Laughs]

It was all right. It was all right. It was hip.

It was sort of like Oakland with donkeys.

He loved it.

Yeah, I did. Listen, Isaac, aleta and I

were thinking of throwing a little fiesta party tomorrow night,

and we were wondering if you could join us.

I'll do better than that. I'll set it up for you.

Wonderful!

How come the uptown treatment all of a sudden, buddy?

Well, I've been thinking, uncle Jesse.

I haven't been treating you fairly, and... I'm sorry.

Well, I'm sorry for the way I was, too.

Look, Isaac, as long as we're forgiving and forgetting,

-think you could do me a small favor? -You name it.

Well, after we drop this stuff off in our cabins,

aleta and I are going to get dangerous in the disco.

Hey!

[Laughter]

And I was wondering if you could set up a little champagne for two?

You know, something conducive to a little post-boogie familiarity.

You got it. How about if I deliver it around midnight?

Perfect. Okay...

No, no, no, no, no. This party's on me.

Whoa! All right.

Thanks, Isaac.

All right.

Yeah.

Mind if I join you?

I'm surprised you'd want to.

Yeah, that was quite a bomb you dropped at dinner, Mike.

Doc, I'll pay the town back every penny they spent on me, I promise.

They'd rather have a doctor.

I'm sorry.

Look, when I agreed to set up practice in cedar flats,

I'd never been more than 100 miles away from home.

Now I have.

[Sighs] If you think I'm a louse, I guess I can't blame you.

I don't think anything like that, Mike.

You're one of the most decent people I know.

You've just got your priorities screwed up. That's all.

Good night, Mike.

Good night, doc.

Wait a minute. Crew's quarters?

Jonathan, your cabin is awfully far below decks, isn't it?

Yes. Well, you see, the trip was a last-minute decision,

and I just had to take whatever was available.

[Sighs] Incredible.

Yeah, well, uh...

I don't mind telling you, I'm impressed.

You're impressed?

Well, it takes an awfully big man

to put up with such a dreadful cabin.

[Chuckles] You know, you're right.

I've got safe deposit boxes that are bigger than this.

Ow!

Oh, you poor baby!

Oh, here, let me kiss it for you.

Then again, there is something to be said for a small room.

It does bring people closer together.

You know, this cabin seems to be getting smaller and smaller.

You're awfully quiet.

Oh, I was just thinking about when I was a kid.

You know, I used to think cedar flats

was the greatest little town in the world.

Honey, you sound like a highway billboard.

[Sighs] Maybe we ought to reconsider.

Cedar flats has a lot going for it, when you think about it.

It's a great place to live and raise a family.

When I think about cedar flats, I fall asleep.

Oh, come on, be serious.

Okay. Serious is that there is no way

i am gonna live out in the boonies.

Tracy, I gave them my word.

Darling, I understand how you feel.

But if cedar flats is that great, they'll find another doctor.

Now... I don't ever want to hear

about your hometown again. Okay?

Hometown? What hometown?

[Phone rings]

Hello?

Hello, Isaac? Jesse.

Oh, hello, uncle Jesse.

I'm just calling to make sure you got everything ready.

Everything's all set.

Good.

Cause we're getting ready to boogie on back.

Don't worry. I'll be out of here, okay?

Thanks a lot, Isaac.

No problem, uncle Jesse. Bye-bye.

[Knock at door]

Come in.

Merrill, have you got a minute?

Of course, Adam.

Merrill, I'd like to request some time off.

Oh. Well, how long?

Two, three weeks? You've certainly earned it.

No, I was thinking more like a leave of absence, six months.

Perhaps longer.

Adam...

What's wrong?

Mike is not going back to practice in cedar flats.

And since I'm responsible for the town sending him through medical school,

I feel it's my duty to take his place,

at least until they can find a permanent doctor.

That's a very generous impulse.

Don't you think you should give it a bit more thought?

I've given it a lot of thought.

I know the situation in cedar flats.

They are... Desperate.

Well... I can't guarantee that the line will keep your job open.

You've got a lot to lose.

People back home have a lot more to lose.

Can't you get Mike to reconsider?

He's made up his mind.

Or... she's made up his mind.

[Sighs] Well... What can I say?

When we get back to San Pedro...

Leave of absence granted.

I appreciate it.

Adam...

I hate the thought of losing you.

Cedar flats will be getting one heck of a doctor.

Oh, here you are.

Well, tell me.

How was the date last night?

It was very nice.

Very nice? [Scoffs]

Very nice is not very much of a description, darling.

Could you give me just a few more details?

Okay, Jonathan and I took a stroll on the deck.

Ah, well, that's a nice beginning. And?

And we looked at the moon and the stars.

Uh-huh. The moon and the stars. That's nice.

And?

And then we went back to his cabin.

[Giggles]

His cabin.

And?

You know, mom, you're right.

It is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man.

Oh! We've got him hooked.

Oh, can I pick 'em or can I pick 'em?

Oh, honey!

My dress is ruined!

Pay it no mind, darling.

As soon as you marry a rich man like Jonathan,

you spill something on a dress, you just throw it away.

Oh, Suzie, I saw what happened.

Listen, why don't you go see the valet?

I'm sure he can fix you up in a jiffy.

Thanks, Julie.

That is a great idea.

Oh! I'm sorry, Johnny.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Uncle Jesse, I need to talk to you alone.

Yeah. Sure.

Please excuse us, aleta.

I was, um, up all night wondering where that money came from.

What money?

The money in the piñata.

Oh, that. Well, I was the one millionth customer at piñata city.

I want the truth.

No, you don't.

You're gonna hate the truth.

Please tell me.

It's counterfeit.

You're passing bad money?

Not passing, delivering. And once I make this little delivery,

my, uh, clients are going to pay me a fortune.

They're already springing for this cruise.

You know, I was beginning to think

that you came on board just to see me.

I did! I picked this ship, didn't I?

Look, Isaac, I swear, after this little deal,

no more scams and no more lying.

I can finally make something of myself.

If you want to make something of yourself,

turn in the money now and start your life all over.

And do what? Take some nothing job like tending bar?

I'm sorry, Isaac. I didn't mean that.

Uncle Jesse, please... Turn in the money.

-Oh, I can't do it, man. -Then I will.

Wait a minute, Isaac.

I thought you said I was a member of the family again.

Well, I thought you were, too.

All right. I'll do it.

But look, let's wait until after the party tonight.

That way, aleta won't have to know anything about it.

Do you expect me to trust you again?

Oh, come on, Isaac, just-- just one more time.

Okay. But right after the party.

Thanks a lot, Isaac. I knew I could count on you.

Oh, excuse me. You up there. We have a bit of an emergency.

Do you think you could help us?

Of course, ma'am.

[Laughs nervously]

Hi.

Jonathan? What are you...

Well, you see,

um, the valet wasn't here,

so I thought I would just look for my own clothes.

Oh, I just borrowed this jacket.

It was kind of chilly in here.

He's a valet.

He's nothing but a valet.

A four-flushing valet! Come on. Let's get out of here.

No, Suzie, wait.

Why did you lie to me?

Come on!

Honey, come back. I was gonna tell you.

Right after the wedding.

If you're gonna be such a pill, I may not invite you on the honeymoon.

I'm sorry. I'll get over it, I promise.

Excuse me.

May I have a word with the both of you?

Oh, sure, captain.

I'm breaking a confidence,

but I feel there's something you should know.

About what?

Dr. Bricker's leaving the ship.

He's going back to cedar flats to take your place.

He is?

Yes, and we'll miss him.

Adam bricker's more than just another fellow worker.

He's my very close friend.

I just thought you should know.

Thanks, captain.

Well, that takes care of your problem.

They're getting a doctor after all. Now do you feel better?

Better? I feel rotten.

I can't let doc do that.

I'm the one that should be going back there.

And that's exactly what I'm going to do.

You mean you're changing your mind?

I never should've changed it in the first place.

Now, look, Tracy. I love you,

and there's almost nothing I wouldn't do

to spend the rest of my life with you.

But cedar flats is my home, and I'm going back there.

What can I say?

Say you love me and that you'll give it a try.

I'm sorry, Mike.

Cedar flats might be your home, but it's not going to be mine.

Counterfeit? Oh, terrific. Great.

Uncle Jesse swears he's not passing it.

And you believe him?

I don't know. I want to.

Isaac, Isaac, listen, you have got to tell the captain. You have to.

But uncle Jesse promised that he'd turn the money in after the party.

And MacArthur promised he'd return.

Well, he did!

He did?

Yeah.

Well, I was never any good at history.

Listen, Jesse has committed a felony.

And when he told you, he made you an accomplice to that felony.

And when you told me, you made me an accomplice to the accomplice.

Now, you can't just turn the money in.

You have to turn him in, for all of our sakes!

I can't do that. The man is my uncle.

He's not my uncle.

Captain stubing? Sir, it's gopher.

[Whispers] No!

Sir, could Isaac and I come up and speak to you?

Yes, it's important, sir.

[Laughs]

If you found the last story amusing,

you will just love this one.

I had spent a small fortune

on personally engraved, solid gold golf tees.

And guess what happened?

They misspelled my name. [Laughs]

How droll.

Now, what is so important?

Well, sir...

It's my uncle Jesse.

Yes?

Uh... he...

Bought a piñata.

And?

And...

He--

he left it in his room.

Go on.

Well, uh...

I, uh...

Found it.

I see.

And after you found it, what did you do?

Well...

I told gopher.

And Mr. Smith, what did you do?

I told him to tell you.

Now, um...

Let me make sure I understand this.

Your uncle Jesse bought a piñata.

Yes, sir.

Left it in his room.

You found it. You told gopher, and gopher told you to tell me.

Well, gentlemen, I can't thank you enough

for bringing this to my attention.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

What did you make of that?

Well, I can't say it's the best lead I've ever had.

But I have been watching Mr. Debbins,

and with your permission, I would like to search his room.

That can be arranged.

[Gopher, over pa] Good evening. The ship will remain in acapulco

until 12:00 midnight.

[Funky music plays]

Tracy!

Daddy!

[Chuckles]

Mm.

You look as lovely as ever.

Oh.

Now, where's that young doctor of yours, hmm?

He's... around. Come here. Sit down.

So... did you have a good trip to acapulco?

Oh, very nice, very nice.

Do you have room for one more?

Why, what's wrong?

Mike and I have split. He wants to practice medicine back home.

In that little tank town he comes from? Mud flats?

-Cedar flats. -Whatever.

Listen, baby, don't worry.

I'll knock some sense into his head, believe me.

Well, speak of the devil.

Hello, Dr. Cotts.

Mike.

Tracy.

Honey, I've been miserable. I don't want to lose you.

Won't you think it over?

Young man, what kind of a damn fool career choice

are you making, moving back to that hick town of yours?

Please, sir, you have to understand.

There are sick people there

that have to drive hours to get to a doctor.

There are sick people everywhere.

The smart thing to do is to hang up your shingle

where sick people can afford to get well.

Sir, I'm sure you don't mean that.

I most certainly do.

How are those country bumpkins gonna pay you, anyway?

With a Turkey and a couple of jars of preserves?

Daddy!

If that's all they can afford, that'll be fine.

Son, you have a lot to learn about being a doctor.

There's no point in going on with this.

I'm sorry.

I really am.

You could've convinced him, daddy.

But all you talked about was money.

And in the years to come, that's all he'll talk about, too. Money.

How little of it he has.

Aren't you glad we brought this whole thing out into the open

before you got married?

Well, I have to get back to the yacht. Are you coming?

I don't think so, daddy.

Suddenly life in a small town

sounds a whole lot more appealing.

Dr. Cotts, I presume.

You must be Dr. Bricker.

I-- I hope I laid it on thick enough for you.

It was an award-winning performance.

And I want to thank you for it.

I want to thank you for calling

and telling me what was happening.

I love that daughter of mine,

and I don't want her to lose Mike.

He's a terrific young man.

Idealistic. Just as I was when I was his age.

You haven't just helped Tracy and Mike.

You've helped make a whole town healthy.

Ah, I just did that because I didn't want him to end up on park Avenue.

I don't need the competition.

[Funky music playing]

[Music stops, applause]

It's getting late. Still think your uncle's gonna turn that money in?

Yeah.

Oh, what do I know? I still believe in the easter bunny.

Isaac, when you promised to help Jesse

arrange a super party, you weren't kidding!

I always try to keep my promises.

Uh, Jesse, how about going for a little stroll?

All right.

Just a minute, Mr. Debbins. Does this belong to you?

This is the one I couldn't find.

Yeah, what are you doing with it?

Don gray, United States treasury department.

I found this in the bottom of your closet.

-Uncle Jesse-- -wait a minute.

Just because you found that in my cabin doesn't mean it belongs to me.

Then you won't mind if I look inside.

No, I don't--

Let's go. You're staying under lock and key for the night.

Captain.

Yes?

Thank you for all your help.

If possible, when we arrive in San Pedro,

I'd like to disembark before the rest of the passengers.

I'll see to it. And I'll take care of that.

Thank you.

Uh, Jesse...

It was fun while it lasted, baby.

Thanks for coming to my party.

I had a real nice time.

Aleta...

I'm sorry it had to happen this way, Isaac.

Agent gray had to have positive verification

in front of witnesses.

Johnny!

Hmm?

Johnny, Mr. Bostwick is fuming.

He hasn't had his tuxedo since the beginning of the cruise.

Well, I was going to get it back to him,

but I can't find it.

You can't find it? Well, you better find it

or you're going to be in big trouble... Jonathan.

Look, would you call me Johnny? Jonathan is someone I'd just as soon forget.

Look, Julie, I'll get it back to him. I promise. I'll find it. Okay?

Okay. I'll just think of something to tell him in the meantime.

Well, how do I look?

Like a million bucks.

[Clank]

Ah.

Are you okay?

It serves me right.

I've been a bum. I've been a heel.

Cut that out. You're talking about the man I love.

You mean you still love me,

even though I don't wear expensive clothes

and I'm not rich?

Johnny, it was never the tux I was attracted to.

It was the man wearing it.

The tux!

Honey, you have got to get out of that tux right away.

You sure don't waste any time, do you?

Hi.

Oh, hi.

I thought by now you'd be sailing away on a gallstone flipper.

I came out here to talk to you.

I figured we both owed each other another chance to work things out.

I'd like to work things out, Tracy, but I don't know what to do.

I mean, we're at an impasse. We're both wrong and we're both right.

-No, that's not true. -It's not?

No. You're right and I'm wrong.

You're trying to make the world better, at least your corner of it,

by helping people, and I wasn't thinking about anybody but myself.

What are you trying to say?

I'm saying...

I'd like to go back to cedar flats with you.

If the invitation's still open.

Are you sure you'll be happy there?

Cedar flats has to be a great place if that's where you're from.

[Giggles]

[Gopher, over pa] Your attention, please. We will be debarking

in approximately 45 minutes.

All passengers should check to see

that their customs declarations are properly filled out.

Mr. Gray, could I talk to you for a minute?

Secret service. Freeze!

Isaac, get down!

You okay, Jesse?

Yeah, just get these things off.

What about him?

I'll handle it. That's my nephew.

Look, take good care of this. This is the evidence.

Let's go.

[Jesse] You can get up now, Isaac.

Uncle Jesse, what's going on?

Maybe this will help.

United States treasury department?

-You? -Right.

But I thought that Mr. Gray was--

gray is a con artist who impersonates federal agents

and preys on counterfeiters.

We decided to beat him with a little con game of our own.

I'm sorry I had to set you up like that, Isaac.

Yeah, you sure did.

Well, I couldn't be too obvious

or gray would have suspected something.

So I trusted my favorite nephew to do the right thing

and turn me in to the wrong man.

But I didn't really turn you in, uncle Jesse.

Whatever you did, Isaac, it was enough.

You mean... All of those years

that we thought you were dodging the law...

You were really working undercover, right?

-Right. -[Laughing]

That's great! Wait till I tell mama.

No, no, no, Isaac. No one must know that about me. That's part of the job.

But, uncle Jesse, everyone's gonna think that you're a crook.

Not everyone. Not my favorite nephew.

Well, as you once said, you make me proud

to be a member of the profession.

Thank you, doctor.

Bye.

Well... off we go to cedar flats.

Would you believe it? I'm looking forward to it.

She doesn't know we get snowed in eight months out of the year.

Now I'm really looking forward to it.

Johnny, aren't you working,

or did somebody take your clothes this time?

No, Julie, I am quitting. Hanging up my hangers.

We're getting married.

Oh, congratulations.

Thank you. Uh...

I know I'm not exactly who you had in mind for a son-in-law.

As long as Suzie's happy, I'm happy.

Besides, I'm not losing a daughter.

I'm getting free dry cleaning.

[Laughter]

Goodbye, Isaac.

Goodbye, aleta.

Look, if you hear from your uncle Jesse, tell him I said hello.

In spite of everything that happened,

there's something I like about that man.

The feeling's mutual.

And I've got a hunch you'll be hearing from him real soon.

Okay. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Isaac, I want to apologize.

I was wrong about your uncle and you were right.

Some people never change.

Don't take it so hard, though. We all liked him.

We all got taken in.

You can say that again.

[Both] We all liked him. We all got--