All language subtitles for The Love Boat - S04E08 - The Baby Alarm - Tell Her Shes Great - Matchmaker, Matchmaker Times Two.en

[Theme - Jack Jones, "the love
boat theme"]

Theme song: Love
exciting and new.

Come aboard, we're
expecting you.

And love like sweetest
reward, let it float,

it floats back to you.

The love boat, soon will
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard, it's love.

Well, would you say we
just had the numero uno worst

time we've ever spent ashore?

No, no.

There was the time
we had poison oak.

There was the earthquake.

You're right.

This is the worst time
we've ever spent ashore.

Well, I had a worse time one
weekend with my third wife.

But according to our
divorce agreement,

I'm legally forbidden
to discuss it.

Ok, ok, ok, ok.

I am sorry.

Now, how many times do
you want me to say it?

But aunt Tanya is my aunt.

And how can you
refuse your own aunt

when she asked you to bring
your friends to see her

play the part of lady Macbeth?

Well, at least the
play was held in a church

so she could immediately
pray for forgiveness.

Oh, come on now, gopher.

I mean, listen, for
someone who never acted

before, she wasn't that bad.

Well, she wasn't great.

Ok, you're right.

She's the worst actress
I've ever seen in my life.

But I just want to
personally thank

you for coming to see her.

Forget it.

You know, she felt so
down after that performance,

I mean, she thought
she was terrible.

Well, you see?

It's unanimous.

Look, I just wanted to ask
you one small little favor.

What?

Well, uh, the reason I begged
you all to see aunt Tanya

is because uncle Charles is
bringing her on this cruise.

And?

And I wanted you
all to tell her

what a great actress she is.

Well, it's just a thought.

Hope you have a good cruise.

Nice to see you.

Welcome aboard.

Hello.

Hi.

I'm Cynthia bowden.

And this is my son Frankie.

Well, welcome aboard.

I'm captain stubing.

This is my daughter Vicki.

Hi.

Hi, Vicki.

Oh, he's adorable.

How old is he

eight months now.

I'm available if you need
a babysitter, Mrs. Bowden.

Well, thank you, Vicki.

I probably will.

And it's, uh, miss bowden.

Oh.

Well, does, uh, Frankie
say anything yet?

No, not a word.

But he has a way
of letting you know

exactly what he's thinking,
especially about people.

Really?

Yes.

I trust him absolutely.

In my book, if
Frankie takes to you,

well, you have to be
a pretty nice person.

But if he cries, well, I
become highly suspicious.

Well, you'll be talking
before you know it, big fella.

Would you like to hold him?

I'd love it.

[Chuckles]

[Baby cries]

[Inaudible] Probably.

Oh, great.

Goodbye.

I've always been highly
suspicious of you too.

I want to thank you for taking
me on this cruise, Charles.

Whatever made me think I
could act, especially a role

like lady Macbeth.

I was terrible.

I shall never face
my friends again.

Come on, Tanya,
forget about it.

They'll forget it.

I mean, do you ever
hear people talking

about the bubonic plague still?

Thanks.

Don't forget, Julie.

You promised to
tell my aunt Tanya

what a great actress she is.

Right.

Aunt Tanya!

Uncle Charles!

Listen, I want you
to meet Julie McCoy.

Come on over her.

Julie, this is my uncle
Charles and my aunt Tanya.

How do you do?

Welcome aboard.

I wanted to tell you that I
think your performance as lady

Macbeth was truly outstanding.

What?

Yes.

You were fabulous.

You gave a totally new
dimension to the character.

I did?

Doc, I want you to meet
uncle Charles and aunt Tanya.

Aunt Tanya, I'm in the
middle of a medical emergency,

but I just had to tell you
how much I enjoyed your, um,

interpretation of lady Macbeth.

You did?

You were brilliant.

Your acting sent chills
up and down my spine.

It did?

Gopher!

Gopher, here's uncle
Charles and aunt Tanya.

Aunt Tanya, wow.

I just wish I had the words
to describe your performance.

I mean, you were so--

what can I say?

Oh, I don't know.

But think of something.

Well, I just wish Shakespeare
could have been there.

Of course, he's gone now.

[Clears throat] I'm
getting off this ship.

What's wrong?

If your crew doesn't know
anything more about sailing

than they do about
acting, I'm betting

that we're going to sink before
we get out of the harbor.

Hello.

We're Charles and
Marion cummings,

and Katie, our daughter.

Hello.

Welcome aboard.

Let's see, Mr.
and Mrs. Cummings.

Yes, you're on the
fiesta deck, cabin 202.

And Katie, you're in
the adjoining cabin 204.

Thank you.

We're meeting our
friends, Mr. and Mrs. Clark,

and their son, Brett.

Have they arrived?

No, not yet.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

Katie, how long has it
been since you've seen Brett?

Oh, not since the party
you and his folks had for us

when we went away to college.

That long?

I'm surprised the
two of you haven't

got together in all that time.

How could we?

You and his folks weren't
around to arrange it.

Now, Katie--

come on, dad.

You four have been trying to
get us together ever since you

dropped us in the same playpen.

Next thing you
know, you'll accuse us

of arranging this trip just
to get you two together.

Well--

hey, Chucky, baby.

We're here!

Start the boat!

Hey!
- How are you doing, Katie?

How's college?

Great, and you?

Oh, fantastic.

Those two look better
together all the time.

What we haven't been able to
accomplish all these years,

I'll bet that moonlight
and the love boat will.

I've got that feeling again.

[Ship's horn blows]

[Theme music]

Thank you.

That's a pretty lady.

Very.

But well guarded.

Oh, yeah?

I don't see any guys around.

In the bassinet.

Oh, be nice to the
baby and win the lady.

Well, that is no problem.

A glass of white
wine for the lady.

And just tell her
that it's from me.

Ok, but I think you're
wasting your money.

You should be buying
milk for the baby.

Miss bowden?

Yes.

Compliments of Mr. Wayburn.

[Baby coos]

Well, perhaps someday,
a charming stranger will

buy my mother a glass of wine.

Cute kid.

Coochi, coochi, coo.

Kids love me.

Gig wayburn.

Cynthia bowden.

Well, any friend to Frankie's
is a friend of mine.

Ah, need napkins, ok?

How can you and your
friends tell her such lies?

She is a horrible actress.

Uncle Charles, there
comes a time in our lives

when we should all hear
little fibs about ourselves.

Now, hasn't aunt Tanya been
a good wife and mother?

The best.

But what has that
got to do with it?

Don't you think you can help
repay her for all that devotion

by telling her what a
good actress she is?

Well, maybe you're right.

What, with the whole world
knowing how horrible she is,

why should she have
to know it too?

Oh, look at the kids.

We might not even
need the moonlight.

I knew it would happen.

Uh, Katie.

Could you move over a little?

You're blocking my view of
that great-looking blonde.

Ah, come on.

You can do better than that.

She reminds me of that nerd you
had a thing for in high school.

Oh-ho.

Well, what did I
know in high school?

Oh, captain.

Could I talk to
you for a second?

Sure, what is it?

We all went to see my aunt
Tanya play lady Macbeth.

Oh, yes.

I'm sorry I couldn't make it.

How was she?

Terrific.

And listen, she
is on the cruise.

And I was wondering if you
could tell her how great she is.

Well, how can I tell
her how great she is

when I didn't see her perform?

Sir, believe me.

It's easier this way.

Oh, please, sir.

She'd really appreciate it.

You know how delicate
an artist's ego is.

Yes, I understand.

Well, uh, I'll talk to
her when I get a moment.

Listen, gopher.

What?

And you've got to remember to
give her a great big buildup.

I already have given
her a great big buildup.

A person can only lie so much.

Oh, gopher, that was only a
little bitty teeny weeny lie.

Now, I want you to give me
some real big giant whoppers.

Julie's doing it.

Honest, Julie?

Yes, I can honestly
say that I've never seen

a performance quite like it.

You were absolutely unique.

Well, I may have done ok.

But I don't know
if I was brilliant.

She didn't say
you were brilliant.

But that's what she meant.

You two really did do a
terrific job bringing up Katie.

Well, you know what
we think of Brett.

You've got to take some credit.

[Laughs]

Oh, brother.

They're toasting right
now, probably saying

how proud they are of us.

And plotting their next move.

You know, it's amazing.

No matter how many times they've
tried to throw us together,

they still haven't
ruined our friendship.

Yep.

Oh, there you are, aunt Tanya.

The newest star in the
theatrical heavens.

Oh, captain, really.

Did you hear what
the captain said?

I heard.

You know, I saw
Judith Anderson

in the Broadway version.

But your interpretation of the
role had to be much better.

Judith Anderson?

Yes.

Well, captain.

Talent is a rare gift.

And I'm sure Judy
gave it her best shot.

Just couldn't cut it.

You're a sweet boy, huh?

You know what?

I hate to leave you,
even for an hour.

But your mama is going
on the first date

she's had since you were born.

Yeah.

And with somebody
you picked, huh?

Do me a favor.

Frankie.

Frankie, say, mama, huh?

Mama.

Come on.

You know what your problem is?

You're stubborn, just
like your father.

Ba!

Yes, and you
look just like him.

But I love you.

You are the most
important man in my life.

[Knocking]

Just a minute.

Hi.

Hi, Vicki.

Come in.

I think I'm running late.

Here is a bottle and a warmer.

Here's an extra blanket.

In case it gets colder.

And I will, uh, be
in the dining room

first, then the acapulco lounge.

Do you have any questions?

Just one.

How about $2 an hour?

Deal.

Bye-bye.

Hi, Frankie.

Hurry it up a
little, will you?

We're going to be
late for dinner.

I'm starving.

Charles, please.

Oh, the captain and the
crew really loved me.

Yeah, I guess they
thought you were ok.

Ok?

They really loved me.

Well, I wouldn't
say they loved you.

You're right.

I guess they didn't love me.

They adored me.

Now I'm ready to meet my public.

Hand me my tiara.

Where did you get this thing?

I bought it in the gift
shop with the rest of these.

A star has to look like a star.

I'm sorry.

I was just thinking
about Frankie.

Frankie?

Frankie, my son.

Your pal.

Oh, yeah, Frankie.

That's a terrific kid.

Yeah.

I'm really glad
that I met him.

Have you seen Isaac?

No, why?

Because I want to tell
him I am not going to lie

to his aunt Tanya anymore.

It makes me nervous
to lie so much.

I'm breaking out in hives.

All right, now don't worry.

I think we've all
lied more than enough.

[Inaudible].

Not to mention bonsoir.

Good evening.

Not to mention bonsoir.

You must come over
to our table later,

and we'll discuss Shakespeare
and other dead people like him.

Yes, that sounds lovely.

I always enjoy talking
about show business.

Till then.

You people have
created a monster.

I'll get you for this.

Charles.

[Everyone sighs]

Here we are.

Oh.

Oh, this is all wrong.

It should be boy,
girl, boy, girl.

What do you call that?

Musical chairs.

The hard way--

no music.

Dr. Livingston, I presume?

Indeed.

Madam.

What's your name?

Robert.

Pen.

Dear Robert.

Sorry you missed my
performance as lady Macbeth.

Maybe next time.

Regards, aunt Tanya.

There you are.

Thank you.

Suppose I get us
a glass of wine.

That is a terrific idea.

Well, maybe champagne.

We might have
something to celebrate.

Ok.

Champagne, your best.

Coming right up, Mr. Wayburn.

I see that you
passed the baby test.

That's right.

And tonight, hopefully, I
will pass the mommy test.

Do something.

May I cut in?

Oh, sure, dad.

There's a girl out there
who lost her partner.

So to the rescue, sailor.

Mr. Clark, miss cummings.

I think we've met.

Yes.

We've got to do something
about this [inaudible]..

[Applause]

Isaac, I have an idea
I think you'll like.

Is your aunt here?

Yeah, she's sitting
over there up front.

What's your idea?

You'll see.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I
have your attention, please?

We have a very talented
actress with us this evening,

an actress who recently
started as lady Macbeth.

So perhaps if all
of us here gave

this fabulous actress
a warm welcome,

she might stand
up and take a bow.

Ladies and gentlemen,
miss Tanya Nolan.

[Applause]

Thank you.

For all you folks who
were fortunate enough

to see me in my limited
engagement as lady Macbeth,

let me hit you with a
few of the highlights.

Get the picture.

There are a lot of characters
on stage blabbering--

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then lady Macbeth--

that's me-- makes her entrance.

And I say, out, damn spot!

Out, I say!

Oh, you've got to
know that here, i'm

talking to a spot on my hand.

I'm not talking to a dog.

And, uh, then the minor
players come on, like Macbeth.

And they-- blah, blah,
blah, blah some more.

And then I say, yet
do I fear thy nature.

It is too full of the
milk of human kindness

to catch the nearest wave.

Thou wouldst be great!

Not, not without ambition.

Or without kindness
to attend it.

I know what you're thinking.

You're saying
Shakespeare must have

been a pretty heavy drinker.

[Laughs] Thank you all.

You having some trouble
finding your keys?

Then why don't we
go to my cabin?

Ah, well, what's so
special about your cabin?

Well, for one thing,
I don't have a roomie.

Oh, I see your point.

But my babysitter
can't stay too late.

Hi.

Hi.

How's he doing?
- Terrific.

Good.

He's been good all night.

How much do I owe you?

Oh, three and 1/2
hours, $2 an hour, $7.

Ok.

Oh, you can pay me tomorrow.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Look how peacefully
he's sleeping.

He looks like a little angel.

That's right.

That's my pal.

[Baby crying]

Go on, pal.

Look, I know we
have to do something,

but does it have
to be that drastic?

I think we've been polite
and patient too long, Katie.

Now, if we want to stop them
from forcing us together,

we've got to be bold.

I know, but--

hey, you two.

Good luck tomorrow.

Uh, thanks.

For what?

What's tomorrow?

The shuffleboard
and dance contest.

You're signed up as a team.

W-We didn't--

oh, I know you didn't.

Your parents did.

I'll see you later.

Doesn't that convince you?

It's never going to stop.

You're right.

Let's do it.

Well, after all,
they want us together.

And how can we be more together
than sleeping together?

[Knocking]

Who is it?

It's me.

Uh, just a second!

Wake up.

Wake up.

This is it.

Let's go.

Brett, we're waiting!

Uh, ok.

I'll meet you at breakfast.

We want to see you now!

Brett: Coming.

Hi.

Oh.

Open the door!

Oh, hi.

You're all here.

Brett, let us in.

Uh, what's going on?

What's-- what's happening?

Katie did not
sleep in her bed--

bed last night.

Have you seen her?

Uh, Katie?

No.

Nope, I haven't seen her.

The last time we saw her
last night, she was with you.

Oh.

Well, we had a drink, and
then we said goodnight.

What's this?

Champagne.

Did you need two glasses?

Uh, policy of the ship.

They serve you two in
case you break one.

Are you wearing lipstick now?

And you have given
up jockey shorts.

Ok.

So I had some
company last night.

Brett!

What?

I'm a big boy now, mom.

And so as not to
embarrass the young lady,

I'd like to ask you
all to leave, please.

Honey, our bath's getting c--

[gasps] Whoops.

Katie!

Oh, what have you
done to my daughter!

Uh--

no, don't tell me!

Don't tell me!

Isaac, I've got
to talk to you.

What is it, aunt Tanya?

It's your uncle Charles.

He doesn't want
me to keep acting,

because he says my acting
is messing up our marriage.

Well, if he feels
that strongly--

but the way I figure it,
it isn't my acting career

that's messing up my marriage.

My marriage is messing
up my acting career.

So I'm leaving him and
going to Hollywood.

But-- what--

you can come along
with me if you want to.

You wanted to be a writer.

So you can write my life story.

The story of aunt Tanya.

In spite of what you
think, she's only human.

But aunt Tanya,
you can't do that.

I mean, you've been with
uncle Charles all these years.

Don't you still love him?

Of course I love him.

But darling, that's show biz.

Hello.

Oh, hi.

Is it ok if I take a peek?

Sure.

[Baby crying]

Sorry.

It's all right.

It's all right.

Boy.

A kid like that could
really give a person

an inferiority complex.

Yes.

Good thing I'm well adjusted.

I still can't see why they
say it's all Brett's fault.

To hear them talk, you'd think
he dragged her to his cabin.

It's obvious.

She went there of
her own free will.

She seduced him.

That's what she did.

Hm.

I know how those
young girls operate.

When I was a young girl--

forget that.

Just a dusting, that's all.

Breakfast guests, I know
just where you'd like to sit.

Thank you, Julie.

Good morning.

Well, here we are.

And you know the Clarks.

[Laughs]

Not anymore, we don't.

Thank you.

We like it like that.

That hotsy daughter
of yours certainly

had us fooled all these years.

Our Katie a hussy?

Oh.

Oh, well, that's pretty
ironic coming from a couple

who've reared a sex maniac.

Sex maniac?

I'd put Brett's morals
up against anybody.

Ever since that daughter
of yours was five years old,

and you caught her
playing doctor,

I knew she'd turn out
to be promiscuous.

Katie was the doctor, but
remember who the patient

was who made the appointment?

Brett.

Katie always was "oversexed."

You're crazy.

That's ridiculous!

If anything, she's undersexed!

Like her mother!

Uh, no.

I mean, Katie's always
behaved herself.

She's never been in a
situation like this.

Excuse me.

And your son will never have a
chance to take advantage of her

again, because we've
forbidden her ever to see him.

You could have saved yourself
the trouble, because we aren't

permitting Brett to see her.

[Knocking]

Come in.

My wife is leaving me,
and it's all your fault!

You and your crew!

[Pounds table] I'm
going to sue all of you!

Sir, my crew
and I complimented

your wife on her acting
because Isaac, your nephew,

asked us to.

Well, I can't sue Isaac.

He's a relative.

I'm going to kill him!

[Door slams]

Julie (over speakers): We'll
be in acapulco until midnight.

Please check the purser's
desk for shore launches.

Captain, I'm really sorry I
got you involved in this mess.

All of you.

Well, you were only trying
to make your aunt feel good.

You didn't mean any harm.

I know, but-- but now
she wants to leave uncle

Charles and go to Hollywood!

Oh, I guess we laid
it on too thick, huh?

Well maybe, but how
could she believe us?

Doc, you remember that blonde
from Topeka who said you were

the sexiest man in the world?

Yeah.

What about her?

Look, we have to concentrate
on the problem at hand.

Now, the best solution is
usually the most obvious.

Your aunt has to
be told the truth.

You can count
me out, but you're

absolutely right, captain.

I pass.

Why me?

I've got an idea.

Why don't I tell her?

Oh, excuse me.

Yes, sir?

William Simmons is my name.

Oh, welcome aboard, sir.

I'm yeoman purser Smith.

Uh, hey, listen.

You can still make dinner.

I'll take you back if you like.

Oh, well, thank you very much.

You bet.

You wouldn't happen to
know where Cynthia bowden is?

I understand she's on board.

I'm an old friend.

Uh, yeah.

I think I saw her
on the lido deck.

You go right--
- no, no.

That's all right.
I'll find it.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Hello, Cynthia.

Bill?

What are you doing here?

I telephoned your parents.

They said you were on
board, so I came down.

I-- I know it's been a year
since I went to Australia.

You talked to mom and dad?

Yes, yes, I talked to them.

And they said you were here
with a guy named Frankie.

Are you in love with him?

Ah, yes.

Very much.

That's what I figured.

He's probably
everything I'm not.

Handsome, rich.

No.

Uh, as a matter of fact,
he's kind of funny looking.

Doesn't have a cent.

He's what?

Oh, and I forgot.

Short, bald, and unemployed.

[Scoffs] You're here
with a guy like that?

Yeah.

Oh, come on, Cynthia.

Are you jealous?

You are jealous.

Yes, I am jealous.

In fact, I'd like the
bash his teeth out.

It would hardly pay.

He only has four.

What do you mean, four?

Besides, I'm betting,
when you meet him,

he's going to knock you out.

Come on.

Look, Cynthia, look, i--

I think this is silly.

I've changed my mind.

I-- I don't want
to meet this guy.

Are you going to
chicken out again?

Open the door.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Frankie's--

I'll [clears throat]
Settle with you later?

Yeah, sure.

Bye.

Bye.

All right, Cynthia.

What's going on?

Where's this guy, Frankie?

He's right here.

This is your son, bill.

My what?

Well, uh, I didn't lie.

He's short, bald, and he's
never worked a day in his life.

My god, why
didn't you tell me?

After that big fight we
had, I wanted you back,

but only if it was your idea.

I didn't want you
to feel obligated.

Listen, I'm back now.

I want us to be together again.

Please.

I don't know.

I just need to think about it.

Is it ok if I hold my son?

Yeah.

Come here.

Come here, sugar.

Yes, you are.

Hi.

Hi.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello.

I think he likes you.

[Chuckles] How do you know?

He hasn't said anything.

Does he say anything?

No.

Not a word.

Oh.

He's so quiet.

Is everything all right?

Everything's perfect.

Hey, Frankie.

Hey, Frankie.

It's your daddy.

Look.

Look, look, look,
look, look, yeah!

Say daddy.

Say daddy.

Say daddy, mommy wants
you to come home with us.

Daddy, mommy wants
you to come with us.

Honest?

Honest.

Hey, Frankie.

What do you say to that, huh?

What do you say to that?

Frankie.

[Knocking]

Aunt Tanya, may I come in?

Sure, Isaac.

Come on in.

Like my new dressing gown?

I had it made to
order in acapulco.

It took them almost an hour.

Aunt Tanya, I
have something very

important to talk to you about.

Good.

Because I have something
important to talk to you about,

too.

You know all those great
old Bette Davis movies?

Well, I was thinking,
when I get to Hollywood,

I could star in the remakes
of all those classics.

For instance, "jezebel."

Yeah.

That would-- that would be nice.

Nice?

When they gave Bette
Davis all those awards,

they didn't give them
to her for being nice.

But aunt Tanya, you're
not quite Bette Davis.

Yet.

So what's the difference
between me and Betty?

Except Betty is a blonde,
and I'm a brunette.

On my way down
to your cabin, I

was trying to think
of the gentlest way

to say what I have to say.

But there is no gentle way.

You-- you are a
terrible actress.

Did you hear what I said?

I'm sorry.

But it's the truth.

You're a terrible actress.

As a wife and a
mother, you're great.

But-- but as an actress,
you're terrible.

Hi.

Hi.

Where are your folks?

They could be anywhere,
except where your folks are.

[Sighs] I'm sorry.

I-- i--

I just thought
they'd get mad at us.

I didn't think we'd
start a family feud.

You know, if this were
like old times, i'd--

I'd accuse our
parents of putting

that moon up there just for us.

[Laughs] They've done
everything short of that,

haven't they?

Oh, by the way, I meant to
congratulate you this morning.

Good piece of acting
you did in there.

Well, you were the star.

You were the one who
had to act so guilty.

All I did was come
out in a towel.

Yeah, but what an
entrance you made.

You should wear
towels more often.

You looked terrific.

You noticed?

Yeah.

How the hell did that happen?

Beats me.

I think we're falling
into their trap.

That sure felt a lot
better than the last time

I kissed you, at your
12th birthday party.

Remember?

I-- I don't know.

I think I'd have
to try it again.

You know, Katie,
before we tell

our parents that nothing
happened last night,

let's wait, huh?

Maybe something
will happen tonight.

Stop that this instant!

You two were told to
keep away from each other!

What are you two
doing together?

Is this some of your doing?

Our doing?

All right, now hold
it folks, right there.

Now listen closely.

When Katie and I were together
last night, nothing happened.

Nothing happened?

Nothing whatsoever.

You expect us to believe that?

Well, you've got to believe
it, because it's the truth.

Now, the four of you have gone
so far with your matchmaking,

it was the only way we could
think of to fight back.

We knew it would shake you
up, but we never dreamed you'd

be at each other's throats.

We're sorry.

Oh.

Well, uh, who's
supposed to apologize

first, the parents
of the sex maniac,

or the parents of the nympho?

[Laughter]

Wait a minute.

If nothing happened
last night, how

come we just caught the two
of you in such a big clinch?

Oh.

Well, that's a
very good question.

We were trying to
figure that out ourselves.

And we're planning on
doing a little more, uh,

research on the subject.

You know, it's a
frightening thing to admit,

but maybe parents do know best.

Excuse us.

Maryann!

Oh.

Our kids!

I called you all
here because aunt Tanya

wanted to tell us something.

Aunt Tanya.

Thank you, captain.

Isaac told me what he thinks
about my acting talent.

What you all think
about my acting talent.

And in spite of wanting
to believe something else,

I know all of you
can't be wrong.

So the thing for me to do is
to give up my acting career.

But I'm not going to do that.

Talent or no talent, I
am leaving my family,

and I'm going to Hollywood.

Because I think we all
lead a pretty boring life.

And there comes a time when you
should do what you want to do,

whether you have the
talent for it or not.

So thank you all, and goodbye.

[Door opens and closes]

[Hands slap sides]

Well.

Ha!

I got you, didn't I?

Don't tell me I can't act.

Why, I just made Jane
Fonda look like a fool.

[Laughter]

And in spite of being
such a fantastic actress,

I'm still a better
wife and mother.

Charles, I wouldn't
leave you for Hollywood.

Broadway, maybe.

[Laughter]

[Laughter]

I vote for 20 ushers
and 20 bridesmaids.

Oh, I've always
dreamed of a big wedding.

And we can have the reception
at our club, in the ballroom.

- Look at them.
- Hm?

We don't have the
heart to tell them.

[Laughs]

Oh no.

Don't tell me you're
not getting married?

Uh, no, we already did.

In cabo San Lucas, last night.

- You did!
- [Laughs]

Oh!

Oh.

Goodbye.

Come see us again.

Well, Frankie looks happy now
that he's found his father.

Knew me right off, too.

Justified my faith
in him, I'll tell you.

His first word was daddy.

Ah!

I told you he was smart.

Goodbye, Frankie.

Mommy.

[Laughter]

Well, I didn't say
he was infallible.

Goodbye, you three.

And be sure to call me
when he can say captain.

We will.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

That baby is so sweet.

Mhm.

I'm going to miss him.

Well, when we get
into port sometime,

maybe you can babysit with him.

Yeah!

You know, she never paid me!

Uncle Charles,
where's aunt Tanya?

Oh, she's saying
goodbye to her fans.

Well, everything is
still all right, isn't it?

She hasn't decided
to give up Hollywood

and go straight to
Broadway, has she?

No, no.

We talked it over,
and guess what?

We may be doing
church plays together.

I did a little acting in
high school, you know.

[Clears throat] Is this
a dagger I see before me,

the handle toward my hand?

Some got it, and some ain't.

He's definitely in
the ain't column.

[Laughter]

Oh, goodbye, Isaac, goodbye!

- Bye-bye.
- Goodbye!

Thanks for coming!

So long!

Bye!

You know, he's not that bad.

Oh, Isaac!

[Theme music]

[Music playing]