Original subtitles

♪ Love, exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard it's love ♪

This ship is bigger than Cleveland. I hope I don't get lost.

Whew!

Why did you have to wear that loud jacket?

To cover up this loud tie.

You oughta be glad I didn't wear the pants. It's really a suit.

Hi. Welcome aboard.

Hi.

Lovely place you have here.

Thank you.

Beautiful, isn't it, sweetheart?

Well, it certainly is.

-Still playing Blackjack on the ship? -Yes, sir. They sure do.

You're not playing Blackjack.

I don't wanna play. I just wanna watch.

The last time you watched, $3000 dollars disappeared.

You remember when you swore you'd never gamble again?

And I haven't. Not in six months.

Uh, could you tell us where our cabin is, please?

Sure, yeah. I, uh-- I don't know your names.

Buddy and Jean redmond. I'm buddy.

Oh, promenade 348.

Thank you very much.

Mm-hmm.

Come on, Mr. Taste.

Oh, Mr. Taste, uh-- Mr. Redmond.

A gentleman left this for you.

Shh.

The gentleman said--

that was no gentleman. That was my bookie.

I haven't gambled.

I just bet on sure things.

What's the matter with you?

That guy's jacket. It's so loud.

-I have one just like it. -I can't hear what you're saying.

I've got my hands over my ears.

I'm really sorry, Mr. Carter, but I called the airline

and they've been unable to find your luggage.

Well, that's just great.

What are we gonna do?

Look, if those clothes aren't here by the time we sail,

-I'm gonna sue everybody involved. -Well, uh,

maybe I can borrow some clothes from some of the other passengers.

We don't need charity.

Hello there. Problem?

Yes.

The airline has misplaced their luggage.

You can kiss those bags goodbye.

He was kidding. They'll find them.

What'd I say?

Hello.

Hello.

I'm Madeline Harris.

This is my son, Danny.

Hello, Danny.

Hi.

Mrs. Harris.

Hi.

Hi. You work here?

Well, sort of.

Do I get a discount because I'm a kid?

Not a chance.

The airlines let kids fly for half fare.

-But they don't have a swimming pool. -I hate girls

who have an answer for everything.

Well...

I mean, what do you think?

Huh.

Any mom who would take a kid on a cruise like this can't be all bad.

Hi, Danny. I thought you'd be home studying your history this weekend.

Mr. Hurley. Uh.

Hi. I'm John Hurley. I'm one of Danny's teachers.

Yes, of course. Madeline Harris.

We met at open house at school, remember?

Oh, I remember. I-- I just wasn't sure you did.

Well, nice seeing you again

and have fun.

Thanks.

Danny.

Have fun? With him on board?

-He seems nice enough. -Nice?

You know what the kids call him? Mr. Rotten.

Honest, mom. He hates me.

He really has it in for me.

Danny, it isn't his fault you're failing history.

Yeah? Then whose fault is it?

Boy, if anyone yells "man overboard" this cruise,

I hope it's for Hurley.

Hello.

Well, looks like I just made it.

Yes.

And I'm very glad that you did. Your name, please.

Mrs. Adam bricker.

No kidding?

Hey, we've got an Adam bricker on this ship.

He's a doctor. You wouldn't by any chance be

one of his many ex-wives, would you?

No, I wouldn't.

Speak of the devil. Doc, come here a minute.

Wait till he finds out you have the same name. You wanna hear something funny?

This lovely lady has the same name--

oh!

-Samantha. -[Gopher] You know her?

-You lied to me. -Oh, no, I didn't.

I said I wasn't one of his ex-wives.

-Huh? -Brace yourself, Adam. We're still married.

We're still what? But we can't still be married.

We were divorced three years ago.

-Not true. -No.

Not true?

Not true.

Uh, is there another doctor in the house?

Jean, darling. I wanna check out the ship.

All right.

Oh. No gambling!

-Did you hear?

-I heard. I heard.

I told you I wouldn't.

See you at dinner.

Mm-hmm.

Don't forget to lock up.

Mm-hmm.

Tight.

Oh, hi. I wonder if I could ask you a favor.

Oh. Look, if you're selling clothes,

see the missus, she'll buy anything.

Anything that's marked down.

Last week she bought an escalator.

Oh, come in!

Hello.

Oh, hi. What can I do for you?

Well, I'm trying to borrow some clothes

for a young couple that lost their luggage.

Oh, the poor kids.

Yeah, and I did notice

that your husband is about the same size as Mr. Carter.

Same size?

Mm-hmm.

Well...

Oh. [Laughs]

Oh, I've got just the thing.

There you go.

Oh.

Thank you. Are you sure your husband won't mind?

Oh, of course he'll mind. That's why I like doing it.

Bye-bye, coat.

Thank you.

♪ White wings against the sky ♪

♪ dust beneath my feet ♪

Benny, what's the matter? What's wrong?

It's more than the luggage, isn't it?

Nothing's the matter.

You said you wanted to go on a cruise, so you're on a cruise.

So what are you picking at me for?

Is it the money?

No, it's not the money.

We can't afford it, though, can we?

It's not that.

I stole the money for the tickets.

What?

Well, I didn't exactly steal it. I--

i borrowed it from petty cash from the office.

I was gonna replace it when we got back.

Replace it with what? How?

Mr. Voegler's gonna have you thrown in jail.

Why did you do it?

Because...

Other husbands get their wives what they want and deserve.

I've never been able to do that for you.

I don't care. I don't need it. Not like this.

Oh, come on. I got eyes. I can see.

All your friends, they've got money.

They go on trips.

I was afraid of losing you.

Oh, Ben.

You know I don't need anything, except your love.

Samantha, how can we not be divorced?

I mean, I didn't contest it, and I sent you $500

to pay the lawyer for the divorce.

That's true.

And I gave the $500 to the lawyer.

Well, so, go back and ask him what happened.

[Chuckles] It's so simple. Just talk to him.

I can't. The judge gave him ten years.

Seems that he's done this to other people before.

Samantha, where did you find this guy?

Oh, my butcher recommended him. It's his wife's brother.

He does tax returns, too.

-Come in. -Hi.

Hi, Julie.

Well, I borrowed some clothes for you.

Oh, thank you.

I know that losing your luggage really upset you,

but I hope this helps.

It will and please thank everybody else for us, too.

Okay.

It was really nice of them.

Hey, I'm sorry if I was a pain in the neck before.

Forget it. Well, at least now you can all go to dinner, huh?

Bye-bye.

[Giggles]

Bye.

Bye.

-Maybe Mr. Voegler will let you pay it back weekly. -Yeah, sure.

You're no criminal.

You don't know voegler.

He believes in capital punishment...

-For double parking. -Oh. [Laughs]

We'll work out something.

-Sally. -What?

Look.

-There must be $2000 here. -[Laughs]

Probably fell out of the clothes.

-We'll have to give it back to Julie. -Wait a second.

Who said it fell out from somebody's clothes?

It wasn't on the floor before.

It could've slipped out from under the bed.

It could've been here two or three cruises ago.

-Ben. -It could've.

Honey, if I can give this money to voegler...

Maybe I won't have to go to jail.

Jail.

Maybe it did come out from under the bed.

How's your steak?

The best.

I mean, almost as good as you make it.

Oh, you.

Good evening.

Well, hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Mr. Hurley, if you're alone,

we'd love to have you join us.

Oh, thank you. I'd like that.

Looks like I've got some catching up to do, huh?

Why don't you finish my steak?

-I'm not hungry anymore. -Danny, your dinner.

Danny.

Do as your mother says.

We should've gone by plane.

Well, doc always finds the pretty ones.

-That's his wife. -Uh, you mean his ex-wife.

That's what doc thought.

But his ex-wife turned out to be his ex-ex-wife.

That makes her his wife again.

I don't understand this.

Neither does doc.

I don't understand. For the past three years,

I've been acting like a single man. Happy.

Adam, it's not my fault. I wanted a divorce just as much as you did.

In fact, now that I see you again, I think I wanted it more than you did.

Samantha, I'll tell you what we'll do.

When we stop south of the border,

we'll get a Mexican divorce.

-Should we? -Of course. Everyone should have

some pleasant memory from a cruise.

-Hey. -Hmm?

You're always telling me I have not taste, huh?

Hmm? No taste? Take a look.

See the guy wearing that jacket?

It's the kind of a jacket you're always telling me is too loud.

It is too loud.

Besides, that's your coat he's wearing.

He's wearing my loud coat?

Mm-hmm.

They lost their luggage. I loaned it to them.

You know what was inside that coat?

-What? -I'll tell you what was inside that coat.

I was inside that coat.

And I wanna be inside of it again.

Sorry, pal, but that jacket is mine and I'd like it back.

Right now.

Please, buddy.

All right. You can have it back. I--

i didn't steal it. It was loaned to me.

Right, right.

I know all about that, but it's my jacket and...

-Buddy, you are embarrassing these people. -What color eyes you've got?

Brown? Hey, look.

A lot of people are wearing blue and brown.

Now, that is a lovely combination.

Look. I think it's gonna look good on you.

There you are. Looks beautiful, doesn't it?

Buddy, i-- you know-- you'll have to excuse my husband.

I-- I've never seen him behave this way.

Yes, sir. Really crazy about this jacket. Am I right?

I've always been crazy about this jacket.

It's my-- it's my favorite jacket.

Fine jacket. It's a very good jacket.

I wish I could explain this.

I-- i-- you--

my mother warned me. I should've listened.

I-- I really should've.

[Lounge music]

You don't look like you're having such a good time.

I'm not.

My name's Vicki.

Danny.

Danny Harris.

See that lady dancing with that creep?

The lady's my mom. The creep's my history teacher, who's flunking me.

What a bummer.

[Danny] I gotta watch out for my mom.

I think the guy could be a philosophical killer.

[Laughs] You mean, "pathological".

Whichever's worse. You know what he did once?

-He put a rattlesnake in my history book. -What happened?

Nothing. Luckily, I didn't open my book for a couple of weeks.

[Laughs]

Hi, mom.

Hi, Danny.

This is Vicki.

This is my mom.

Nice to meet you.

And Mr. Hurley.

Hi. How are you?

Hey, Danny. It's getting a little bit late, isn't it?

I think John... Mr. Hurley is right, honey. You should be getting to bed.

-Do I have to? -Yeah.

I think your mother knows best.

-Good night. -Good night.

Good night, Vicki.

Good night.

Remind me to tell you about the time he tried to poison my ding dongs.

Uh, merrill, before Samantha gets back, I wanted to ask you something.

Do you think we're doing the right thing?

Well, what are you doing?

Well, I think we're getting a divorce in Mexico.

-I think, but I'm not sure. -Well, if you're not sure about what you're doing,

then I'm sure you're doing the right thing.

The biggest mistakes of my life were when I was positive about what I was doing.

Every time I was positive, I was dead wrong.

I see.

-But you really think we're doing the right thing? -I'm positive.

No, wait. You said every time you were positive, you were always wrong.

That only applies to my life, not yours.

Care to dance, twinkle toes? Excuse us, captain.

Well, captain, what do you think?

Well, as they say, it's always nice looking at a divorced couple,

who are really married, acting like they're single.

Tired?

No, just very relaxed.

Content.

I've had a marvelous evening.

Well, you see, there's something else that we have in common.

Because, uh-- I've had a marvelous evening, too.

[Sighs]

If Danny saw that,

he'd disown me.

-I, um, hope I'm not ruining his trip. -Oh, he'll be okay.

I guess it is a little rough on him because he's not doing very well in history.

Yeah, but he could be doing well.

You know, he has the ability to be an "a" student,

but he doesn't apply himself. He's lazy, you know.

And maybe a little bit spoiled.

I don't think so.

You know, when his dad and I got divorced, it was very hard on him.

It was a setback for Danny.

Oh, i-- I know that the divorce hurt him,

but now he's using it, you know, to take advantage of you

because you feel guilty.

Really?

Absolutely. If I were you, i'd-- I'd be a little tougher on him, use a little more discipline.

Really?

[John] Absolutely.

You see, you're-- you're too permissive with him.

You know, you let him get away with murder.

John, I don't need your instant analysis.

-I'm only trying to-- -why don't you just stick to teaching history

and leave parenthood to people who qualify.

Some fun cruise this is.

I get all prettied up and you don't come back to the cabin.

If that's all prettied up, I should have my eyes examined.

Or better you should have your head examined.

I have been waiting two hours. Now, where have you been?

Gambling?

No.

I was looking for the guy who borrowed this jacket.

[Gasps] What are you gonna do now? Rip his shirt off?

Very funny. Very funny.

Look, if you wanna know the truth...

I wanted to apologize for the way I acted.

You wouldn't happen to know their name, would you?

No, I don't remember. Besides, it's late. It's too much of a bother.

It's no bother.

Not to you, to them.

Believe me, they'll sleep fine.

Oh, boy, you can say that again.

There's no doubt about it.

The money belongs to that man.

You're jumping to conclusions.

He practically tore that jacket off your body.

Why was he feeling around and patting all the pockets?

Maybe it's like he said.

It's his favorite jacket.

[Sighs] I bet the money belongs to him.

We don't know that.

Yes, we do know that.

[Sighs] We have to give it back.

You're probably right.

Uh-huh.

Let me sleep on it.

Uh-huh.

To our divorce.

To our divorce.

Mm-- [laughs]

You know what I remember most? Having to wait for you

to brush you hair 200 times every night.

[Gulps] Whenever I tried to kiss you,

I'd end up with little pig bristles between my teeth.

[Giggles] To pig bristles.

Mm.

Very appropriate for someone who is always throwing their dirty socks

into a corner of our bedroom.

Thank you.

To all your irritating, disgusting habits.

And to all your irritating and disgusting habits.

But especially to your irritating, disgusting habit

of always pointing out my irritating, disgusting habits.

I've missed you.

I've missed you, too.

Ah.

You're in my bed.

Well, of course I'm in your bed.

I'm your wife.

Well, thanks to some cheating lawyer.

Samantha...

You think last night was really such a good idea?

I mean, I know we agreed we'd be good friends

till we got to Mexico to get our divorce, but...

You think maybe we were being over friendly last night?

What?

My brother and his wife have never been that friendly in 20 years

and they've got eight children.

Maybe we should have some children.

Uh, Samantha, let's not start

something this morning

we'll have to fight for custody of this afternoon, hmm?

Maybe you're right.

No, don't do that.

Mm?

You know what that does to me.

I forgot. What does it do?

You know what it does.

Cut that out.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'll only give you $500 a month for child support.

That's more than you gave me to run the house.

Well, this is different.

This is my son.

And I want him to go to Harvard law school.

I'll meet you on deck. I'm gonna try to find that young man and apologize.

It must really be bothering you.

Do you know you tossed and turned all night?

Yeah, well, I'm afraid I spoiled their trip.

I'll see you at the pool.

Oh. Hi.

Oh. Hi.

Julie told us where to find you.

Oh, here's your jacket.

Oh, thanks.

I was just coming to look for you.

To apologize for last night.

Oh, no. No.

We want to apologize.

We figured out this was your money.

Well, i--

what is it, buddy?

This is not my money!

Hello. You know, my husband was just going to look for you.

Yeah, well, I already apologized, dear.

Are you sure it's not your money?

Wouldn't I know?

Ask Julie who else gave you some clothes.

What was that all about?

Nothing.

It's the old "is this your money" con game.

I saw it on movie of the week.

Suzanne somers played the part of the girl.

She was good.

I told you. I bet this money has been in our cabin for... I don't know how long.

You might be right.

Of course I am.

If it were Mr. Redmond's, he'd say so, wouldn't he?

I guess so.

Look, if it'll make you feel better, I'll ask somebody on the crew, okay?

Yeah, would you?

Sure.

Hello. How are you doing?

Fine, captain.

How are you?

I'm fine, thank you.

Uh...

Captain, if-- if a passenger lost something on this ship, you'd know about it, right?

Well, it depends on what kind of something they lost.

Well, like a ring or a...

Or like a lot of money, sir.

Money? Oh, absolutely.

I think the last time a passenger reported the loss of money was about a year ago.

-But we found it. -You did?

Congratulations. Thank you so much.

You found it.

Yes.

Thank you, sir.

You just found it, huh?

Thanks a lot.

Just-- just found it, huh?

Good morning.

Boy, you got back late last night.

I fell asleep waiting for you.

I was with Mr. Hurley.

How could you do this to me?

How could you go out with a man who's flunking your one and only son?

You're right.

He is a creep.

Huh. Do you really mean that?

Let's not even talk about him.

I promise you won't have to put up with Mr. Hurley any more on this trip.

You're lucky. You only had him for one night.

I have him every day.

Wanna go for a swim?

No, thanks. You go ahead.

Hey, I've got great news. My mom and my teacher hate each other.

That's too bad.

Too bad? Are you wacky?

Well, last night I got to thinking.

If Mr. Hurly and your mom get to be good friends,

he wouldn't have the guts to flunk you in history.

I never thought of that.

That makes sense. But it's too late now, she hates him.

Maybe. Maybe not. I have an idea.

-Okay. But it better work. Or else.

-Or else what?

You ever try swimming to acapulco?

[Laughs]

Here's to luck.

Here's to good luck.

Oh, hi. Uh, I wanted to talk to you

but I had to duck my wife first.

I hate to tell you this. That money is mine.

Yeah, you see, I couldn't tell you before because I won it on a bet.

And I promised her I wouldn't gamble.

I can identify it.

Two thousand. 14 100s, eight 50s and ten 20s.

With a yellow rubber band around it.

It's all there.

Yeah. Thanks. You're a couple of good kids.

Besides, it's not a fortune, you know. It's not gonna change any of our lives.

Thanks.

Nice here, isn't it?

Yeah, but wouldn't you rather be swimming?

Honey, is something wrong with your watch?

No.

You keep looking at it every two seconds.

Yeah, I just like to know what time it is every two seconds.

[Splashing]

Mr. John Hurley to the pirate's cove.

Mr. John Hurley.

Come on, Danny. Let's go.

One more. Please, mom.

We've had three already.

Hi. I'm John Hurley.

Hi. Isaac Washington.

Nice to meet you.

Look, didn't you just page me? A little, tiny, high voice.

[High voice] In a little, little, high voice like that?

-Yeah. -No.

Look who's there, mom. Mr. Hurley.

Come on, Danny. No need for you to be subjected to him out of class.

But, mom...

Hi. Madeline...

I understand what you're saying, Adam,

but are you sure you want a divorce?

Oh, of course. Samantha and I

both want a divorce. Why do you ask?

Well, it seems to me that you keep saying you want a divorce,

but from what you've told me that's going on,

neither of you is acting like you want a divorce.

You know, you may be right.

Oh, my god. Maybe we're in love.

-It's possible. -But I don't want to be in love.

With me, love always leads to divorce.

And I don't want to keep getting divorced.

In the time it takes to get divorced,

-i could be falling in love with the next woman. -Adam,

it's hard to argue with a man that makes such good sense.

It seems to me you're already in love.

And since you're already married, why get divorced

when you don't want to keep getting divorced anyway?

I can't make it any clearer than that, can I?

See how easy it is when I cut right through the bone?

If we don't get this finished, we're gonna miss dinner.

How's that? Better?

"I'm sorry. Please meet me on the promenade deck at ten. Mr. Hurley."

I told you, "meet" is not m-e-a-t.

How's mine look?

You spelled my mother's name wrong again.

Should I sign it "Mr. Hurley" or "John"?

Why don't we use their initials?

It sounds more intimate and romantic.

Women. I just want

to pass history.

Hit me.

I said "hit me", not "kill me."

Two grand in an hour. You should open your own store.

Is this the way you keep your word? Well, this is my word.

I'm not gonna gamble any more of my life away with you.

Best hand I've had all night.

This is nice.

Staying in for the evening.

Having dinner at home.

[Cork pops]

[Glasses clink]

Oh, Adam. More champagne?

Mm-hmm.

Well, we gotta celebrate our decision to stay married.

-You think it'll work this time? -Of course.

Come to me, my adored one.

In a minute, darling.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...

Do you have to do that now?

Adam, you know what hair follicles say, "if you stimulate me..."

[Both] "I will reward you with shining, glistening, beautiful hair."

Mm.

Mm.

Adam.

Samantha.

Adam, are you gonna keep your socks on?

My feet get cold.

But keeping your socks on is just not romantic.

Samantha, why is it every single time--

okay, okay, okay. You win.

Here we go.

Come to me, my adored one.

Adam, is that the place for a mature person's socks?

No.

The place for socks...

Is on a mature person's freezing feet.

That's the place for socks.

13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19...

Mr. Washington, I'll have a plain soda.

With plenty of scotch in it.

Right.

Well, how'd you do at the Blackjack table?

Now I know why they

call it Blackjack.

Wanna feel the lumps?

Hey, it's only money.

I'll remember that when I leave you a tip.

You can't go back to the office.

Mr. Voegler will have you put in jail.

Maybe not.

You know he will.

Unless you can pay back that $2000 you took.

How could I be so stupid?

Taking someone else's money

for-- for a cruise we couldn't possibly enjoy.

[Woman] Ben, I love you. I don't want you to go to jail.

I love you, too.

Hi.

Hi.

How are you?

[Both overlap, laugh]

No, you go ahead.

I'm sorry for the way I acted.

I-- I mean, i-- I should say, overreacted.

I'm-- I'm really the one to blame. I shouldn't have butted in.

But I did mean well.

I know you did.

I'm glad you sent the note.

The note.

I thought you sent...

[Laughs]

I should've known.

Danny, huh?

Yes.

Disguised, but it's his writing.

I'm kind of embarrassed.

Oh, don't be. He's smarter than both of us.

At least he found a way to get us back together.

Yes, he certainly did, didn't he?

Went to a lot of trouble.

Yes, yes, yes, he did.

And since he went to all that trouble, uh--

it wouldn't be fair to let him down, would it?

-No, it wouldn't. -You know, we've wasted a whole day.

Let's not waste the night, too.

-[Clears throat] -Oh, hi.

Mr. Hurley.

Uh, looks like you caught your mother right in the middle of a kiss with your teacher.

-A terrific kiss. -Oh, thank you.

Danny, you and I are gonna have to have a man to man talk.

Your mother and I are gonna be seeing a lot more of each other when we get back.

-That's great. -And I don't want the other kids in class

to get the idea that you're getting preferential treatment because I'm dating your mother

so I might have to be a little bit tougher on you.

-[Sighs] -But I think you can handle it.

[John] Would you like to dance?

[Madeline] Yes, I would.

Excuse us, won't you?

Bye-bye.

Tougher? Tougher?

I'm gonna kill you.

[Phone ringing]

There you are, Mr. Redmond.

[Buddy] Thank you and here you are.

[Gopher] Thank you, sir.

Jean.

Jean. Jean, I wanna talk to you.

I see you cashed a check.

You haven't lost enough, huh?

Jean, listen. I'm gonna gamble one more time and then never again.

That's from the movie fat chance.

Hey, just the guy I wanna talk to. Could you come here?

Look, if you hadn't been honest enough to give me back my money

i never could've made the killing tonight that I did in Blackjack.

-Biggest score I ever made. -That's great. Congratulations.

And I've always made it a habit to give my good luck charm

a little piece of the action.

Keeps my luck running good.

It's a lot of money.

-I can't take it. -What do you mean you can't take it?

What do you want? You want my luck to turn bad?

Look, miss. Here, you-- you take it.

Go ahead. For household money.

You know,

"to hold the house together" money.

Look, I've been a gambler all my life.

Right now, I'm gambling on you.

I got a hunch you're gonna be a real big winner.

Take it.

Thank you.

Thank you.

[Laughs]

You know, I don't know exactly what you just did back there,

but I have a feeling it was something very nice.

It was.

98... 99...

One hundred.

Congratulations.

Time for bed.

Ah. Okay. All right.

Ah, Adam.

Samantha.

Adam, there're too-- too many covers on this bed.

Oh, hey, hey, listen. I took my socks off for you.

Adam, I can't sleep under three blankets. Look at-- I mean--

okay, that's it. A man spends a third of his life in bed,

and I don't intend to freeze a third of my life away.

Don't I keep you warm enough?

Well, of course.

Ah. Maybe it's not the kind of warm we both need.

You want a divorce?

Mm?

Well... uh...

Yes, I do.

So do I.

Married, we'd end up hating each other.

Uh-huh. Divorced, we'll love each other forever.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

-Hey, come back and see us again. -We hope to.

Depends on Mr. Voegler. Hey, thanks for being so nice.

Hey, wait, wait, wait. Your luggage just arrived.

Oh.

Oh.

Gee, I hope you guys had a good time.

-Your luggage went to Portugal. -Figures.

Bye-bye.

Thank you.

Gee, I wonder who Mr. Voegler is.

I don't know. Probably the travel agent.

Hey, a lovely time.

Uh-huh.

Uh, gopher, you remember my bookie?

You know, the guy that gave you the envelope full of money.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, I just saw him in the lobby back there looking for me.

I think he came to welcome me home.

Do me a favor, will you? Will you give him this 50?

I thought you--

I quit betting.

I just don't want to cut him off cold Turkey.

Goodbye.

Gopher, we better find that bookie fast.

What's the rush?

Well, if we don't find him, we'll be stuck with that 50.

Danny, you know, I've been thinking. Maybe I could tutor you

a couple of hours a week in history.

How about math and science, too.

You think it'll help me pass?

Oh, I wouldn't be surprised

if you became a "b" student.

Maybe even an "a".

Hey, let me quit while I'm ahead, will you?

Are you two sure you definitely want a divorce?

Merrill, would you marry a woman who has pig bristles in her hair,

can't stand blankets, does sit ups in bed,

and won't let you wear socks?

In a flash.