All language subtitles for The Dog Who Saved Christmas - 2009.en

♪ Oh, boy

♪ Well, it's
Christmastime again ♪

♪ Let all your good cheer in

♪ It's Christmastime
It's Christmastime again ♪

♪ The stockings are hung
and the tree is trimmed ♪

♪ The sounds of the season
are ringin' on in ♪

♪ It's Christmastime
It's Christmastime again ♪

[male voice]
Ah, Christmas!
My favorite time of year.

Giant red bows
and garland everywhere.

All those presents and families
spending more time together.

You could almost smell
the magic in the air,

although it
isn't always easy,

especially when you're a dog.

That's me.
My name's Zeus.

♪ Dashing through the snow

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh ♪

♪ O'er the hills we go

♪ Laughin' all the way

♪ Bells on bobtails ring

♪ Making spirits bright

♪ What fun it is
to ride and sing ♪

♪ A sleighin' song tonight

I had about all I can take
here on these streets.

I think I'm gonna turn myself
in to the dogcatcher.

Hey, at least I can get three
square meals on the inside.

[dogs barking]

Hey, boys,
what's happening?

Look at what we got here,
fellas. A newbie.

My name's Zeus,
like the Greek god.

Wow. Fancy name
for a street dog.Yeah, fancy name.

Yeah.

You're going to be here
for a long time,

so I suggest
you find things
to occupy yourself with.

Don't worry about me,
sweetie. I'll be fine.
I used to be a cop.

Yeah, right.

I used to save people's
lives for a living.

Really?
Tell us. Tell us!

One time I rescued
this steel mill worker
from a fiery inferno.

And he told me...

[coughing]
Thank you, dog.

Thank you.
You saved my life.

So what are you
doing here, then?

That's a long story.

I'm just waiting for
a family to take me home
and give me a chance.

[dogs laughing]Oh, sure!

And my new owner is gonna
ride in on his white horse

and whisk me away
to a place where
Milk Bones are gold-plated.

[dogs laughing]That's a good one!

What's so funny?
There's gotta be
somebody out there

who will take me home.

♪ Tannenbaum and angels
and mistletoe ♪

♪ Jingle bells and sleigh rides
across the snow ♪

♪ Christmastime is here

♪ And to everyone good cheer

♪ It's a beautiful

♪ Time of the year

♪ Merry Christmas

♪ To all you girls and boys

♪ If you all stay cool

♪ You just might get
your favorite toys ♪

♪ Merry Christmas

♪ Goodwill to everyone

♪ Why don't we smile
on each other ♪

♪ Why don't we have
a little fun ♪

Whoop.

[phone rings]

Hello?

I'm here.
Is the coast clear? Oh, uh...

Uh, yeah. Donna Jameson
is dropping off the kids
any second,

so get your butt
in here.

Okay. I'm gonna need
some backup, honey.

Um, okay, okay.
I'll be right out. Bye.

I'm coming!
I'm coming!

Oh!

I can take another one.

Here you go.

Come on,come on.

Oh, honey, I am so excited
for our first Christmas
in the new house.

I know.Ooh. The kids are
just gonna love it.

It's gonna be so much better
than last year when we went
to your Aunt Jean's. Remember?

Oh, well, that was--
Oh, oh, oh! Okay, okay.

Hurry, hurry! Come on!

I hope these aren't
breakable.

Okay.

[horn honking]

Okay, come on. Hurry.
Oh, my goodness.

[grunts]

Careful.

Bye-bye.Merry Christmas. Bye.

Merry Christmas.
Tell your mom I said hi.

All right, will do.
Merry Christmas.Okay. Bye.

Honey!

Whoa!

Hey, my little, uh, elves.
What's going on?

Guess what
Ricky Jameson said.

What's that?

Well, hey, what's up
with your back?

Oh, uh, you know.

Sciatica.
Christmas sciatica.

Christmas what-ica?

Uh, sciatica, honey.
It's a real ailment.

Um, h-hey. Isn't that, uh,
Ricky Jameson out there?

What do you mean?

Yeah.

Uh, I don't know.
I don't know what I meant.

Hey, it's a Christmas miracle!
Your back is all better, Daddy!

What's that, honey?
Oh, uh, no, no.

I'm still hurt.
[groans]

I'm gonna go take a nap.

Hey, uh, why don't
you kids, you know,

go make some eggnog
or something, okay?
[groans]

[groaning continues]

You know where
the stuff is, right?

The, uh, eggnog?

Okay.

Pull up right here.

Bingo.

That beauty right there.

Looks like
a Victorian mansion.

Looks like
a giant dollhouse.

That beauty right there
is going to be our last one.

Forever?

On this block,
you idiot.

What happened
to the rule we had?

We couldn't hit two houses
on the same block.

Forget I ever said it.

Beauty like that,
rules were made to be broken.

Okay.

Ka-ching! Ka-ching!

George we really need
to get that chandelier
in the foyer fixed.

I don't think that
it's safe hanging
tied the way it is.

It's perfectly safe
the way it is, honey.

But I'll take a look at it
after the holidays.

328 Red Maple?
328 Red Maple?

Honey, isn't that
the Johnsons' house?

Yeah.

They were robbed.

You're kidding.No.

And this is the second time
on this block in a month.

That's it, George.
We have to get that alarm,

especially with
Christmas coming.

I think we should get
a dog for Christmas.
A watchdog.

A dog!

Daddy, can we?

I think it's a great idea,
sweetheart.

[laughs]

What do you think, hon?

We have already talked
about this, George.

I barely have
enough time as it is,
since I went back to work.

Back to work?
Honey, you're a seamstress,
and you work here at home.

I mean,
what's the big deal?

I am a costume maker,
and it is a big deal.

How am I gonna
take care of a dog

when I have 15 wigs to weave
before New Year's Eve?

I can walk him and feed him
before I go to work
in the morning,

and then when
I come home for lunch,
I could check on him.

Plus, I could, you know,
weave some of those wigs
with you.

I don't know.
George, it's a new house,

and dogs are messy,
and they chew things and...

If we're gonna get a pet,
we should get a cat,

with this mouse problem
we're having.

Oh, no!That's not good.

Yeah, but, Mom,
we want a dog for Christmas.

Yeah! A big fluffy dog
with long blond hair
and floppy ears.

Come on, Mom.

Come on, Mom.

Okay, we will
discuss this later.

Come on. You're gonna
miss the bus.

Let's go, let's go.
Say goodbye to your father.Bye, Daddy.

Have a good day, Ben.

I'll help you get
your jacket, okay?
I'll be right out.

Promise me.
You will not buy a dog

before we have had a chance
to talk about it again.

I promise.

Thank you.

[door chime rings]

[bell dings]

How you doing?

Hey! How you doing?

Good, very good.
I'm George Bannister,

and I think
I'm ready to adopt.

Well, I'm Benny.
Nice to meet you, George.

[laughs]
You wanna adopt a dog?

We are in the market
for a watchdog.

Watchdog! Well, today
we're running a special.

It's Christmas.
Why not be special?

You adopt one dog,
you get another one for free.

Aw, that's okay.
I think one dog's plenty,
you know. That's good.

It's a free dog.

Yeah, if I, uh, ever
brought home two dogs,

the wife would put me
in the pound. [laughs]

[laughs]
We can use another dog
around here.

Tell you what I'll do.
How about I throw in
some doggie biscuits,

a rubber ball,
and a doggie bone?

Oh, that'd be great.Okay, well, sign right in,

and I'll bring you
right around.Okay.

Yeah, we got one.
Yeah, get it ready.
Oh, level one.

You know, some people
think those are cookies,
and they eat 'em.

They're doggie biscuits.
Come on.

That's, uh...

that's somethin' else.

[door buzzer][dogs barking]

Come on in.

Look! There's somebody
who could take me home.

If I could only bark
to get his attention.

Zeus, you saying
you can't even bark?

If you can't bark,
you ain't got a chance.

The pound.
[laughs]

Isn't it a little excessive
with the bars.

It has to be, man.

We got some of the most
highly profiled dogs
right behind these bars.

I mean, they're
mentally just challenged
as far as who to bite.

So I separate them
from the family dogs,
from the good dogs.

Hey there!Buck up, boys. One of us
is going home for the holidays.

Oh, I hope it's me.
Please, kind sir!

Please take me!
I beg of you!

There are all type
of dogs in here.

You gotta know
what you're doing when
you're at the pound, man.

Well, I'm looking
for a family dog and,

you know, one that's
nice but tough.

Tough? Well, I think I got
just the dog for you.

Yeah, we call this one
the Bronx.

What do you know
about the Bronx?

From what I know,
it's tough.

Tough like big, tough.

Well, this one,
his mother was a boxer,
and his daddy was a pit bull.

How they got together
and made a dog, I don't know,

but he looks like a bulldog
r-r-right all in the face.

Look at him right there.
Look at him! The Bronx!

The Bronx?Yeah.

Looks more like
Staten Island.

You want a beef with me?
My mother's from Staten Island!

Come on.
He's small right now,
but give him time.

He'll balloon into
a beast in months.

Hey, Bronky! Bronky!
Ruff!

I don't know if
I have the kind of time
to wait for him to balloon.

What about that guy
over there?

Yes! Great choice!That one?

Oh, you want something
aggressive, huh?

[laughs]
Look at the chompers
on that one. Look at 'em.

Yeah, he can bite.
He's looking at you, too.

He's ready to attack for you.

Hey, Noodles!
Come here, Noodles!

Noodles? That doesn't sound
like a watchdog to me.

Does it matter
what you call him?
He's aggressive.

What about that one?

Get me out of here, please!
The food's terrible!

I have no hot water,
and I think I have fleas!The quiet one in the corner?

Yeah, yeah,
over there in the back.

My god, that is
the splitting image of
the one I had when I was a kid.

So Zeus is
what you want, huh?

Zeus?Yeah.

Now, that's a guard dog.

Yeah, but if you're a dog,
you at least have to bark.

I mean, that dog,
to be honest,
I never heard him bark.

I don't know.
I mean, you know,

I didn't speak till I was six.
My mom thought I was a mute.

You happy about that?

I am now 'cause I can speak.

The only thing I can tell you
about Zeus is he used to be
a former police dog.

K-9 cop.

Really?

Yeah. Got a plaque,
couple awards.

But right now
he's just a quiet dog.

C-Can I pet him?

Yeah, why not?

Open up family pound
number nine. We're going in.

[door buzzer]

Come on.You want me to come in
with you?

Come on, come on.
Get back!

[Bulldog growls]Come on.

Back, get back.
Stay close to me.

[whines]

[whines]Here we go.

Is this safe?Safe?
It's very safe.

[whines]Except for that one.

He may make a pass
on your leg right there,
but shake it off.

Zeus!
Wake up, Zeus!

Hi. I'm Zeus.
And believe me,
the pleasure is all mine.

Hey, Zeus!
How are ya, buddy? Huh?

You wanna come home
with me? Yeah?

Do you want
a nice family? Yeah?

Are you kidding?
Does a dog pee
on a fire hydrant?

Does a flea itch?
Does a--

Yeah, yeah,
this is the one, Benny.

All right.
Hey, open up, okay?
We're coming down.

Get the papers ready
for Zeus. Yeah.

Bye, Zeus.
Nice to meet you.

Aww...

Got room for one more?

See ya later,
ya lucky mutt.

♪ Dashing through the snow
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ However the rest goes
I'll sing it anyway ♪Ha ha ha!

Zeus, you're gonna love
the family, buddy.

I can't wait!Oh, yeah.

Kara, my little daughter,
and Ben, he's our son.

He's a little older
than Kara,

probably four or five years,
not really sure.

But, uh, great kids,
great kids.

Dog lovers
all the way, buddy.

Sounds like
my kind of people.

And of course,
my wife Belinda,

she's, uh,
she's awesome.

And, oh, the apple strudel
is to die for.

Ooh, strudel.
Last time I had strudel,
I was sick for a week.

You're probably gonna get
into that one way
or the other.

But, uh--
Oh, and not to mention,
ginormous backyard, buddy.

Ah, now you're talking, Georgie!
Now you're talking!

We'll be out there
playing every day.
Gonna be great.

♪ Oh, bells on
Zeus-tail singing ♪

♪ Making Christmas right

♪ Zeus is going home
with the Bannisters ♪

♪ For a lovely
Christmas night, hey ♪

Oh, Zeus, one thing
before we go in.

Belinda-- great lady--

just has a few things
she doesn't care for.

She doesn't like snoring.

She doesn't like when you
leave the toilet seat up.

And she definitely
doesn't like when you
chew with your mouth open.

Got it, except for
the whole chewing with
your mouth open thing.

I don't think
I can swing that.

So as long as you don't
do anything I do,
you're cool.

She's gonna love you.I hope so, Georgie.

I'd hate to go back
to that pound.Okay, let's go.

Hey, everybody!
Look what I got!

A dog!
We got a dog!A dog!

A dog!This is gonna
get interesting.

[laughs]
All right, Dad!

Daddy got a dog!Where'd you get the dog,
Dad? Hey, there!

How you doing?

Isn't he great?
His name is Zeus.

Zeusie!

You know,
like the Greek god.

Yeah, well,
just Zeus, honey.

Hi!Hi! Can I talk to you
for a minute?

Sure!In the kitchen.

Oh, inside? Yeah.
Oh, they love him already.

Uh-oh.
It's the kitchen talk.That's not good at all.

Uh-oh. Something tells me
Georgie forgot to clear me
with the missus.

George, you promised
you wouldn't buy a dog
until we talked.

Yeah, and I didn't
break that promise.
Boy Scout's honor.

I didn't buy the dog.
I adopted him.

Oh, George!I-I-I know,
I know,

but it's that time of year
where you take care
of the less fortunate.

He was homeless,
Belinda,

and he reminded me
so much of Duke that
I couldn't even resist--

I know that you had to
put your childhood dog
to sleep

and you have been
traumatized ever since.

I am not traumatized.
And don't make it out to
be more than what it is.

The kids wanted a dog,
so I just thought--

Yeah, exactly!
You thought.

You completely disregarded
what I said.

This is about
the protection
of our home,

not about you making up
for some childhood loss.

That hurt.

For your information,
I am thinking about
the protection of our home.

Oh, you are?

He is a certified,
award-winning
K-9 police dog.

[scoffs]
A K-9?

The most
highly trained dogs

and the most intelligent
dogs on the planet.

He's the ultimate watchdog,
and we have one.

[sighs]What?

I-I don't know, George.

It-- It just seems
like an alarm would be
so much safer and easier.

All right, Belinda,
trust me, okay?

These K-9s are
so highly trained,

they're practically
self-sufficient.

And as far as security?
Ha ha!

They are notorious for
being the most toughest

and most masculine
dogs around.

[clears throat]

Oh, wha-- I--

What? What's everybody
staring at?

Ohh!

Real dogs wear bows.

♪ When the Christmas lights
are twinkling ♪

♪ And the glistening snow
has fallen ♪

♪ Sleigh bells keep
a perfect rhythm ♪

Come on, Mom.
Can we bring Zeusie
to Grandma's?

Yeah, bring me
to Granny's!

Come on, Zeus, off the bed!
Come on! Off the bed!

But I can't help it.
This memory foam does
wonders for my hinds.

How many times do I
have to tell this dog?

Where is he going?

[water lapping]

Oh, Zeus! Cut it out!

That's disgusting!
Come on!

Gimme a sec!
I'm dying of thirst here!

Come on, Mom, please?
Can we? Can we bring
Zeusie to Grandma's?

Oh, I don't think so, honey.

Please?Yeah, well, it's boring
at Grandma's.

All she has to drink
is flat diet soda.And prune juice.

Okay, now be nice, kids.

Yeah, but why do
we have to go there
every Christmas Eve?

Because it's tradition.

What's tradition?

It's something
that you have to do,

even though
you may not want to.

And no one should be
alone on Christmas Eve.

Mom, what if Santa decides
not to come to our house

because he doesn't think
we'll be here?

Oh, sweetheart,
Santa knows everything.

So he knows that we'll be back
first thing Christmas morning.

Mom, how come
the Cat Lady doesn't
have any Christmas lights?

I just-- Honey, I've
really got a headache.
This is a lot of questions.

I don't know why the Cat Lady
doesn't have Christmas lights.

Yeah, well, Ricky Jameson
says it's 'cause
she's an old Scrooge.

[Kara giggles]Okay, well,

you know,
you tell Ricky Jameson

that in this house,

we don't judge people
that we do not know.

Does that mean
that we judge people
that we do know?

No. No, no, no.

We don't judge
anyone.

Where's that dog? What--

[water lapping]

Get away from there now!

I am not gonna tell you again!
Are you listening to me?[Zeus belches]

Well, the stores were
just completely packed.

Yeah, see, that's why I don't
go to the stores anymore.
That's why I send you, honey.

Well, you're gonna love
what I got you.

Aww. You know, I told you,
I didn't want anything
more than--

Ooh, gingerbread!
I love me some gingerbread!

Hey, Mom, look
what Zeusie can do.

Ooh! That smells good, George.
Come on, share.Get down.

Ooh, that's--
Ooh, that's good.He's fine.

Okay. I don't know
what that was.Mmm. Delicious!

You know, honey, it's funny,
but I don't think I've
ever heard Zeus bark.

Oh, sure, honey.
Yeah, Zeus barks. They, uh--

You might not have heard him
yet, but, uh, you know,

they're highly trained dogs.
They're very intelligent.

They go through
a rigorous training program

where they teach them
to bark on command

and when to bark,
when not to bark.

They don't always bark.
If they always barked,

it gets to be kind of
annoying, you know?

They have to bark
where there's a noise

and not bark where
there's no noise.

That's how you want the dog.

But they need some kind
of a stimulation.

They need another dog
barking or a human bark

or a door knock
or a doorbell, you know?

[doorbell rings]

Mmm! I smell
shrimp toast.

[ringing continues]

Hey, Old Yeller, why don' t you
just go ahead and bark already?You call that a dog?

Is somebody gonna get that?
I'm starving over here.

Come on, Georgie,
you know I don't
have thumbs.

Ah, don't worry about it, Zeus.
We'll get you next time.

You'll bark next time.

Bark? Oh, no,
not that again.

Hey.Goldman's Chinese Food.

Yes, of course, yeah.
Merry... Hanukkah.

Happy Holidays.
Close enough. $32.75.

Okay, here's 40.Oh, thank you.

Thank you.Very nice.

Yeah, we're building a little
gingerbread house there.

I meant the girl,
not the house.

Oh. Oh![George]
Oh, the girl, yeah.

Yeah, she's kosher, too.

Hi![Delivery Man]
Very nice.

Merry Christmas.
Happy--That would be my wife.

Thank you.Thank you.

Shalom.Shalom.

Well, that was awkward.

You know what?
You'll bark next time.
Who cares?

It's all good.
Who cares if I didn't bark?

The Bannisters love me
for who I am,

and that's
the important thing.

You just look very tense.

I mean, I know this
is all new for you,

but we're gonna take it
one step at a time, okay?

Uh, this is a little awkward,
George, don't you think?

Yeah. There we go, Zeusie.
Is that better?

Ooh.What did they
do to you?

Ooh, yeah.
Now I'm diggin' it.

Made you all silly-looking.

It's only you and me.
We're the men of the house.

Men of the house.
Yeah, right!

You know what
I'm talking about?Ooh. Right there, George.

You know what it's like
to be a man?Yeah, dude.

I was the only one.Oh, yeah.
That's the spot.

Besides Ben.Ahh!

But now it's me,
you, and Ben.

You're gonna be able to bark.

I couldn't talk till I was six,
which is like 42 in your years.

You're gonna be
a great guard dog.

And better yet,
a great pet.

Ben and Kara already like you.
You're gonna love it here.

We just gotta work on Mommy
a little bit.

♪ Dashin' through the snow

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh ♪

♪ O'er the fields we go

♪ Laughing all the way

♪ Bells on bobtail ring

♪ Making spirits bright

♪ What fun it is
to ride and sing ♪

♪ A sleighin' song tonight

♪ Oh, jingle bells
Jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way

♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride ♪

Oh, you can't even bark![mice laugh]

♪ Jingle bells
Jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way

♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh ♪

♪ Jingle bells
Jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way

♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse
open sleigh ♪

[belches]

Uh-oh. That doesn't
look like the mailman.

George! You better come quick!
I think we're being robbed!

Oh, my gosh!
George, he looks serious!
He's got a mask on!

Ooh! Uhh...
Show him the teeth.

That usually works.
Show him the teeth.
Here we go. Grrr!

George! It's not working!

Ooh! Rib eye!
I haven't had rib eye
in a dog's year.

Oh, my gosh,
that's a big one.

Over here, over here!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Me, me, me! Ooh!

Oh, yes, this is so good.
Mm! Mm! I can't believe it.

Just stay right there, buddy.
I'll be with you in a moment.

George! Belinda!

[George]
What happened, Franz?It's the worst-case scenario.

Are you saying that the dog
is never gonna bark?

I'm saying there's nothing
I can do, except recommend
a psychiatrist.

Psychiatrist?

Hey, mister, you got
any more meat for me?

Well, given
his K-9 background.

Oh, for Zeus.It's entirely possible
he suffered

some sort of psychological
trauma on the job.

[speaking German]

Sorry, chief. I have
no idea what you're saying.
I only speak Dog in English.

I am sorry, George.Aw, come on!
I knew it was a trick!

Have him break in again.
I'll tackle him.

You think there's
anything we can do
after the holiday?

He failed the steak test, guys.
Now I'm good,

but you're gonna
need a miracle worker
to turn that dog around.

Merry Christmas.

Therapist?
I don't need a therapist.

Just give me another chance.
I can bark. Really, I can.

Aw, what's the use.
I'm sorry, guys.

I'm really sorry.

I might've
messed this up, too.

[George]
First of all, he is a dog,
and dogs teethe.

He's not teething.
He's four years old,

and that is 30
in human years.

Uh, it's 28, Einstein,
and his birth date
is still in question.

George, I just
don't think that after
today's session with Franz

that Zeusie
is working out.

First of all,
his name is Zeus, okay?
Like the Greek god.

Don't get testy
with me, George.

I am just saying
that we got the dog

in order to protect
our home and the children,

and we agreed that
we would either have
an alarm or the dog.

Belinda,
stop with the alarm
already, okay?

We have a top-notch
security guard dog
in our hands.

Case closed.

George, why is it
that everyone else but you

can see that Zeusie is not
what you think he is?

Okay, so then why don't
we get a psychiatrist
like Franz suggested?

That is ridiculous.

Not ridiculous.
And you know what?

The FDA just approved
a dog antidepressant.

Maybe that'll free up
his mind a little bit.

Doggie antidepressants?Yes!

You know, I just don't wanna
give up on this whole thing,
Belinda.

And those kids,
they're not gonna
forgive you.

Oh, the kids will be fine.
The kids are kids,

and they will learn
to love the next dog.

You, it seems,
will never forgive me.

I have an idea.Good.

[sighs]

Look, George,
I can see that this is
very upsetting for you,

so I am willing
to make a compromise.

After the holidays,

we'll bring Zeus
back to the pound,

and then we'll invest
in a real watchdog, okay?

I don't think we should
give up on him so fast.

Oh, why are you
so attached to this dog?

Because he's underestimated,

and I know exactly
how that feels.

[sighs]

Okay. But promise me.

Promise me that if things
don't improve by the time
we go to my mom's...

Deal?

Deal.

[dogs barking]

Okay, so you have
to surprise Mom and Dad

with a nice loud bark
before Christmas Eve.

I wouldn't bet on it.

[barking continues]

Come on, Zeusie! Ruff!Come on, Zeusie boy,
you can do it.

You can do it, Zeusie!Come on! Come on!
Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!

[dogs barking]

Come on, come on, come on.
Ruff, ruff, ruff!

Okay, I'll give it a shot.
Rrr... Rrr...

Come on! Ruff, ruff!
Come on! Ruff, ruff, ruff!

Yeah, go woof!Come on. Woof, woof.

Woof, woof , woof.
Come on, Zeusie boy.

[dogs barking]

Kids, please, please!
Go to bed!

Ah, I told you,
I don't like tuna fish.

Ruff, ruff!Come on. Do it with us.
Ruff, ruff, ruff!

Come on!Woof! Woof!

Hey, who's that?

She's back.

Ricky Jameson
says the Cat Lady
hates dogs so much

that she calls the pound up
to make more room for cats.

So she lures the dogs in
with her homemade stew

and then calls the pound up
as they're eating it.

I heard that
she hates dogs so much

that she called the pound
on her own dog.

So stay far, far away
from her,

and no matter what you do,
never, ever eat her stew.

Never, ever, ever.

Got it. No stew.

She sees us!
She sees us!

What are you guys doing?
What do I do? Where do I hide?

[Zeus]
Ooh! I think she saw me!

[thunderclap]

[George]
All right, my little
working elves.

Ho ho ho ho ho![Kara]
Ho ho!

Now for the fun part.

Uh, remember, we've been
working on this a long time,

and it is kind of
fragile, right?

And it is our gift
to the grandma.

Right.You know.
[whistles] Yeah.

So just be careful.

Keep placing the details now.
We're on the details.All right.

Where do I put these?Oh, anywhere,
sweetheart.

Anywhere your
little heart desires.

Now remember, if we do
a very nice job this year,

Grandma will probably make you
some of those knitted
Christmas booties

she made you last year.

Oh, golly gee.
Just what I wanted,

another pair
of Christmas booties.

Easy, buddy.
She's still your grandmother.

[mice squeaking]

Ooh. There's those
cheese-eaters again.

You bet your bottom bumpkin.

Maybe if I catch them,
I can earn my keep,

prove to the Bannisters
I'm worthy.

Okay, I think we're
just about finished.
You know what?

We should get this upstairs
before Mom comes home.
She'll be home any minute.

I'm gonna get you, rats!Better bring your A-game,
you crude K-9 corn dog.

[distant crash]

What was that?

Is that Zeus?

I don't know.

Yeah.[George]
All right.

Hey, Ben, can you help me
on the other side there, buddy?

All right.
Careful, sweetheart.

Don't hurt yourself.I won't.

All right.
You wanna help out,
that's okay.

Ha ha! I got you now!
Right where I want you!

Hey, is that gingerbread?

Ooh, I love gingerbread!
Oh, yes!

No, Zeus, get back!

[crash][George screams]

Aah! Ah...

Oh, my god!

Naagh! Rrr! Oh, no!

Daddy, you're in
a lot of trouble.

Yeah, I know, honey.

Looks like you and Zeus
are in the doghouse.

What else is new?

Come on. We better
go clean this up.I agree.

Oh, great.

Now Belinda's really gonna
send me back to the pound.

[horn honks]

Oh, great.
It's my number one fan.
Boy, do I have terrible timing.

Hurry!Gimme that, too.

What happened?

Nothing.Oh, uh, nothing.

Nothing?

He didn't do it, Mom.

He who?[Kara]Zeusie.

Hey, do you kids know
where the glue is?

I wanna fix the, uh--

The glue's behind me?
Glue's--

The glue! Hey! Hey,
you are the glue, honey,

that, uh, that keeps
our family together.

What is going on here?

Uh, nothing. We just
had a little accident.

George, we spent two weeks
making that gingerbread house.

Mommy, I'm sorry.
I tripped 'cause
it was loose.

No, no, what happened
was I was coming in
with the cake--

The two of them
were helping me,
and I had it too high,

and there was a cord there,
I didn't see it.

Where... is the dog?

Upstairs.

Doing what?I don't know.

You know, dog things.

George! That is the only thing
that she wanted for Christmas.

And what happened to that?

I did that, Mommy.
I'm sorry. I-I tripped,

and I knocked it
over off the-- Yeah.She did.

She broke--Ohhh!

Where you going?

I am going to the bakery
to buy a gingerbread house.

All right. Drive safe.
There's a lot of traffic.

[door slams]

Thank you, honey.
That's very sweet of you.

Ben, you should be
ashamed of yourself.
You should have claimed that.

I can't do anything right.
I'm a poor excuse for a dog.

I couldn't mark my own
territory in sandbox.

I couldn't play fetch
with a boomerang.

I couldn't--
Ah, what's the use.

It's deja vu
all over again.

Only this time,
it's the Bannisters
that I'm letting down.

[coughing]

Come, Zeus!Zeus!

[Zeus]
Stop, drop, and roll!
I'm coming, George!

I'll save you!
I'll get you and Belinda
out safely! Follow me!

[coughing]

Hey.Oh, hey, George.

I just had this crazy dream.
I was barking up a storm.

And I saved you and Belinda!
Oh, it was epic!How you doing?

Listen, about that
gingerbread incident?

I was only trying
to catch those mice...Listen...

and they were going one way,
and I smelled the gingerbread,

I don't know how
to tell you this, but...and I got confused and--

[barking]

[Mom]
Georgie!

Stop playing with Duke!
It's time for dinner!

[barking]

Belinda...

You know Belinda.

Belinda thinks
it's best if...

if we took you
back to the pound.

What? You gotta talk
some sense into her.

You can't send me back,
George.

What about that whole
"It's only me and you" thing?

We're actually
running a little late
to Grandma's house, so--

No, no, no!
George, George, George,
wait, wait, wait, please.

You can't give up on me.
Not you.

I'm gonna have to take care
of all this in the morning.
I can drop you off then.

No, George. Please.
You can't give up on me.
I promise--

Listen, there's plenty of,
uh, water and food,

so, you know,
[sniffles]

make yourself feel at home.No! No, you can't
give up on me!

I promise! I'll be a good dog!
I won't break anything!

I'll learn how to bark!

Sorry, buddy. Guess it
wasn't just meant to be.

Of course
it's meant to be!
You and I, George!

We're like peanut butter
and jelly. Salt and pepper.

We just go together.
George, where you going?

Hey, kids!You can't leave me!
It's Christmas!

Come say goodbye to Zeus.

♪ With love in your heart

I can't believe this is
really happening...

on Christmas.

♪ Get lost in the shadows
of days gone by ♪

♪ But you never forget
when the moment is right ♪

♪ So mark this day
with a kiss ♪

♪ It doesn't get
better than this ♪

[sighs]
We're gonna miss you, bud.

[sniffles]
Mom, do we really have
to get rid of Zeusie?

[sighs]
Well...

Yes, honey, we do.

But listen,
I don't want you to worry

because we are gonna get you
a really nice, cute new puppy.

A puppy?

[Zeus] A puppy?But what's gonna
happen to Zeusie?

Well, Zeusie is going
to find a really nice home.

The right home for him, okay?But I have a home!
It's right here!

We were
a good home.

I know, but we just weren't
the right one for him.

So... you have to say
goodbye now, okay?

'Cause Grandma's
waiting for us.

All right?

Okay.All right, okay.

All right, Zeusie.
All right, buddy.

See you later, okay?
Okay? See you later.

See you later.

[Zeus]
You know, wait, Ben!
Don't go, Ben.

Please, I'll do better.
I promise. Ben! Don't go!

Oh, no. No, Kara.
Kara, don't cry.

Kara, it's okay.
Everything's gonna be okay.

Look at the size
of that house.

I know.

Look. They're going on a trip.We just caught a break.

It's gonna make our job
so much easier.

How?

Where do you think
they're going?

Who cares
where they're going?

They're going.
That's gonna make
our job easier.

Look at that snowman.
And look at those wreaths.

Those are real wreaths
right there.

Those aren't wreaths that
you just buy at the corner.

Somebody took the time
and made those.

Those gotta go for
100, 90, 80 retail.

We could sell those, Ted.

Imagine the jewelry, watches,

necklaces, electronics.

Imagine the kitchen.
They got two of 'em.
And a freezer downstairs.

And that's where they have
the meat and the cupcakes.

See, I know about
that stuff.No, no, no.

Stewey, no funny business.

We go in, we get the loot,
we get out. That's it.

Ooh, sorry, kids.
I just forgot
one thing inside.

You have
your seatbelt?

Maybe they got hot chocolate
and marshmallows

and cookies
and oatmeal cookies.

I been away
for a long time.

That joint, they don't
take care of you
over the holidays.

They give you, you know,
pasteurized turkey.

You can't live on that stuff
for the holidays.

Ah.

Here we go.

Oh, Santa's gonna love
Belinda's...

homemade
chocolate chip cookies.

It's funny. She doesn't
make the cookies for me.

Actually, that might be...
one too many.

Yeah, I'll eat
the rest of those later.

You mess this up,
you're gonna be back
in the joint.

Okay? We go in, we get
the goods, we get out.

That's it. No eatin'.

No funny business.
This is business-business.

You think
they got a dog?

'Cause I hate dogs.
Ted, I've always hated dogs.

Whether they're little,
big, small, fat.

I don't want no dogs.

That time you told me
there wasn't a dog,
I climb into a doggie window,

and there was a dog,
and he almost bit me.

And I got no insurance
this time, so I can't
even go to the hospital.

I don't want no dogs.
I'm telling you right now.
I don't want to see a dog.

If I see a dog,
I'm gonna have
an anxiety attack,

and I gotta go to
the prison acupuncturist
and make an appointment.

Stewey, what've we been doing
for the last two days?

Sittin' here.
I don't know.

Have you heard a dog bark?

No.No.

Exactly.

No dog.

Okay?
[inhales]

[exhales]

This house will finally pay off
that debt to Tony Rowe.

And I can start my diet.

And if we have
any money left over,

you can get that nose job
you always been talkin' about.

It's not a nose job. It's--
I have a deviated septum.

The one in your house,
or the one here?It's-- It's-- It's--

It's... at the house.

[Zeus whines]

Wait, guys, come back!
Don't do this.

Don't do this, please!
I'm sorry.

Okay, George, George,
don't leave me.

I'm your best friend.
George! Oh, no.

Bye, Zeusie.

Hey, this alone thing
ain't so bad after all.

I got no one
telling me what to do,

and I got a whole house
to myself.

Oh, this part gets me
every time.

I'm hungry. I'm gonna go
look for a little snack.

Who says dogs shouldn't be
eating candy? All right!

Come here. Come here.
Droopy ears.

What are you looking at?
You looking at me?
What's your problem?

Huh. I smell something.

What's that? Cookies?

Are those cookies?
Yes! Cookies!

Come to Zeus, baby.
Uhh! Uhh! Got 'em!

♪ Come on, cats
It's time to rock ♪

Belinda always said
to brush after every meal.

Ha ha!
Now this is the life.

What happened
when Santa Claus's cat
swallowed a ball of yarn?

She had mittens!

♪ Yeah, Santa's dance floor

♪ Strip the wax ♪

♪ Come on, cat
just blow your sax ♪

Come, Zeus.
Drink from my well.

Did I just--
Am I going crazy?

You're not going crazy.
You're just alone
and thirsty.

Whoa!Don't worry.
Belinda will understand.

Bottom's up.Come. Enjoy.
It's cool and refreshing.

This dog sure is messy.I know, and I love it!

[knocking]

What's going on?
Franz, is that you?

Plumbers!

[Zeus]
I get it. This is all a setup.

George isn't really
bringing me back to the pound.

He just wanted to see
how I was gonna react.Hello!

All right,
I'm show him.

Anybody home?

Wait a minute. These guys
don't smell like plumbers.

These guys are the real deal.
This is definitely not a test.

See? Just like I told you.

Nobody home. No dog.
This is gonna be
a piece of cake.

I hope you're right, Captain.

What did I tell you
about calling me that?

You said not to call you
General. You didn't say
nothing about Captain.

Don't call me anything.
No nicknames.Okay.

I gotta do something.
These guys are coming
to rob the house.

I'm gonna get this one.
Step aside.

You know
what you're doing?Yeah.

I worked for a locksmith.
You forget about these things.

Keep your eye out there.

Ahh. Come on, baby.

How about I let
Uncle Stewey teach ya?

Yeah, come on,
come on.

Come on.

What's taking so long?

Relax.
This is my first time.

I thought you said you
worked for a locksmith.Shh!

I did, but I made keys.

I know just the thing
to get rid of these hooligans.

[tapping]

Here. Use this.

Now you're talkin'.

Step aside.

[dogs barking]

Aah!

I don't like dogs.
I'm scared of dogs.

I don't wanna work with dogs.
I'm been tellin' ya that.

No! You are going inside.
Yes, you are.

I hate dogs.
They always bite me.

Gimme that!
Get your hand off!Gimme this!

Gimme that thing!

Stewey, stop it!
Stop it!

I swear to god!

What's wrong with you?Look! Look!

Oww!

Oww!

[barking continues]

I'm not going in there
with dogs! I hate dogs!

[screech]

[meow]

We're coming back here
in two hours.

I got a plan
for that dog.I'm not going in.

Shh!

Hey, Dad, when are we
gonna get there?

Trust me, son.
When we get there,

we will be there.

Hey, Mom, when are
we gonna get there?

Kids, why don't we sing
a Christmas song?
A happy song.

That's a great idea, honey.

♪ Dashing through the snow
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ Through the fields we go

♪ Laughing all the way
Ha ha ha ♪

[George]
Well, Benji,
we're finally here.

The Bannisters
made it to Grandma's.

[Ben]
Great. Flat soda and
stale pretzels, here we come.

Hey, it's Christmas.
Show some Christmas
spirit, will ya?

[Grandma humming]

Great pretzels, Mom.

Oh, I made 'em.

When? Last Christmas?

Well, it's German.
It should be hard.

Hey, not at the table.
Pretzel?

Oh, you love those,
honey.

Yeah, not those.

Well, what are we doing?
Look at this!

We are making popcorn.

Oh, this is gonna
be so fun, huh?Isn't it?

Yeah. Come on. Cheer up.
Santa's gonna be here later.

He is.

I hope somebody's
been good.
[chuckles]

Oh, we're gonna have
to leave some milk and
cookies out for Santa

'cause he gets hungry,
you know.

What's the matter?
Who's gloomy?

Who are gloomy-faces?
Santa's not gonna like that,
or his elves,

so somebody better smile.

Oh! This one broke.
Come on, guys.

This is fun. You know,
Santa is looking right now

down from the chimney
and going,

"Hmm, I don't know if
I wanna visit those kids.

They're not very happy."

Ah, let's face it.
I'm just no good at
confrontation anymore.

These paws have
seen better days.

I'm a has-been
or maybe worse:
a never-was.

I won't let these guys
ruin Christmas.

I'm gonna go out
and get some help.

And when these guys come back,
they are gonna be sorry.

All I have to do is sneak past
the crazy Cat Lady's house.

Come on, you can do it.
Mush! Mush! Mush, Zeus!

No stoppin' until I--
Ohh! Tree branch.

[bonk][Zeus whines]

Oh, that's gonna
leave a mark!

[groans]
Huh?

Where am I?
What is this place?

Oh, no! I'm in
the cat's den with
that crazy cat broad!

Wait!
What's with the poker?

Hey, buddy.

[sniffs]
Stew?

Uh-oh. It might be laced!How you doing?

But I'm starving!

You were out cold.

We fixed you up pretty good,
didn't we, Chegwee?

Unfortunately.

You just don't listen to
those stories the kids tell.

You know, people
get the wrong idea.

They think 'cause I don't
put any lights outside
for Christmas, I'm a Scrooge.

Truth is, I just don't
have anybody to help me.

That's what happens
when you outlive
most of your family.

That's why it's
just Chegwee and me.

So don't worry.
I'm not gonna send you
to the pound anytime soon.

Well, that's a relief.If you behave.

Say what?

You hungry?You know,
I could really go for...

some of that stew
right now.

Oh, no! Wait!
What am I saying?

You stay there.

Hey, you.
What's your name?

Zeus. Why are you
whispering?

You know she can't
hear us, right?

Yeah, right. Keep it down.
So what's it like being a dog?

Today it stinks.
What's it like being a cat?

It's not so bad.

You get to spy on people
through windows
and poop inside.

Keep it down.
Here she comes.

Mm-mm! Christmas feast.

Stew! Yeah!

A dog's best friend!
All right. No sign of poison.

Whoa! You were hungry.
All right!Mmm! This is some tasty stew.

Well done, Cat Lady.You know...

I've been watching you.

And I don't mean to pry
or get personal, but...

I've noticed you don't bark.

Great. Does everybody
on the block know
I can't bark?

What are you afraid of?

Let's just say
the last time I barked,
something bad happened.

Now everything's all messed up,
and I don't know what to do.

Fear is a funny thing.

You let it in,
and it starts to overtake
every part of your life.

Long time ago,
my dog Rufus,

he attacked me.

Yeah.

I found out the hard way
he didn't like dried kibble.

She's still
feeding me kibble. Thanks.

One day he just snapped.

Tore through my best sweater
like a wild hyena.

I had to give him away.

Which is probably where
the rumor got started.

And for the longest time,
I-I was afraid of every dog.

And then one day
I realized that it was
silly to let one incident

make me afraid of all dogs.

Everybody has fears.

But you just gotta face 'em.

And when you do,
they go away.

They do? Well, I was
the number one K-9
in my division...

until that day.

Get down, Zeus! Get down!
Zeus! Zeus! Zeus!

[Zeus barking]Stop barking!
Stop barking!

[barking continues]

Stay back!
Get him back!

[cops yelling]

[barking continues][Zeus]
It was my fault.

Because of my barking,
I blew a five-year
investigation.

And to top it off, my partner
broke his trigger finger.

He was never able
to shoot straight again.

You can't use what happened
as an excuse to stop
being what you are.

You gotta be what you
were meant to be and...

do what you were
meant to do.

Hey, this old cat
may have a point.

[George whistling] Come on, Chappy! Come on!
You can do it!

This is gonna hurt you.

You're the greatest dog of all!

All right, son. [dog barking]

Thank you.

He'll just use his powerful
sense of smell and pinpoint--

I wish we could
keep Zeusie.

[Ben]
Yeah, I bet Zeus
could do that.

No, honey, this is
just a TV show.

In real life,
dogs can't do that.

Yes, they can.No, they can't.

That's what
they are made for.

Don't tell them that.
That's not true.

I'm telling them
what's in the magazine.

The magazine
is not correct.

What are you watching?
Oh, Chappy the Dog.Oh!

What's going on?

[George]
Why do you think
I read this thing?

I don't know why
you read this thing.
This is absurd.

Well, it's
to inform myself.That is not a real dog.

Yes, it is.

It's a good magazine.It's Christmas.

I don't care.
It's a good magazine.

[whispering]
Oh, I've seen this episode.

Do you know
what's gonna happen?

Chappy is gonna
get to that girl
before her mother does,

and then Chappy's gonna
save that little girl,
and then--

Grandma, do you mind?Sorry.

[Zeus]
I could be the dog
I once was.

I was trained to fight crime,
and that's what I'm gonna do.

When those perps come back,
you bet Chegwee's whiskers
I'll be ready!

Okay, I need to gather
weapons and ammo.

Can't use those.
Too small.

Okay, lemme see, lemme see,
lemme see, lemme see.

Ooh! Maybe I can use
Santa as a decoy.

No, no, too big, too big.

Bingo! Yes!

My K-9 sense is tingling.

Peek-a-boo, you robbers, you!

You definitely
wanna do this?

Yeah. Turn the car off.

All right,
remember what I said:
no funny business.

Define funny business.

Like that time
on the Smith Street job,
when I walked in on you,

and you were raiding
the refrigerator.

Prune juice, liverwurst,
and potato chip sandwiches?

That's funny business.

I was constipated.

Liverwurst sandwich.

They didn't have no bologna.
You know I like my bologna

fresh, thin-sliced
from the butcher,

not that supermarket stuff.

And we've been together
how long now?

You know that whenever we
pull a job, I get anxiety.

And anxiety causes me to get
A: gas, or B: hunger.

What would you rather do?
Me blow a couple farts,
or me eat a sandwich?

What would you rather me do?

Stewey!

No funny business.

No funny business.

No funny business.

I guess hunger's
funny business.

You understand?I told you I got a plan.
I came prepared.

That's why
I brought this muzzle.I'm not putting that on.

It's for the dog,
you numbskull.
It's a muzzle.

How are you gonna
put it on the dog?

Well, that's
what this is for.

Mace? This don't work.

[Ted]
If it doesn't,
my backup plan.

I got a tranquilizer gun.

Where'd you get that from?

From the last house
we boosted. Guy was a vet.You're a genius.

I'm gonna hit this door
right here.

Keep an eye out
for this cat lady
and whoever else.

I wouldn't do that
if I were you.

[wood creaking]

Yeah! Take that!

Oww!

Oh! Who's a tough guy
now, huh?Oww!

What was that?

Boom goes the dynamite!

You idiot!Take another!

What? What'd I do?

You said the house was clear!And another!

We seen 'em leave,
didn't we?

Who's doing that then,
the mutt?I'm shelling you now.

Can't be the mutt alone.

They must've left
one of the kids behind
to watch him.

You boys look a little dirty.

Ah, this oughta do the trick.

Here we go. Let's give you
a little flour shower.

Let's get him.Let's get him.

We'll use the basement.
He can't drop stuff on us
this way.

Oh, there's more
where that came from.
Enter at your own peril.

I'm just gonna kick in
the basement door.

If there's kids in there,
then there's no way
the alarm is turned on.

[crash][Stewey screams]

I think I broke my ankle!
I told you this was
a bad idea, Ted!

Shh!

You're breathing
so hard.

What's wrong with you?

Forget that plant.
Come on.

Okay.

You go this way.
I'll go this way.

Yell if you hear the boy.

Here's a little
gutter ball for ya.

[glass shatters]

Steee-rike!

Ted, where'd you go?

Ted? Ted?

Ahh...

Stewey!

Okay. This is it.
It's now or never.

If I bark loud enough,
that cat broad will
call me some backup.

Teddy? Teddy?

Hi, li'l boy.

Stewey here.
Don't be scared.

I'm not gonna hurt you.

As a matter of fact,
I got a pork chop
in my pocket.

With some cookies.
Hey, it's Christmas.

And you and me,
we're gonna be buddies,

and we're gonna
have a good time.

Good time. Yeah.
Let's start by playing
pin the cuffs on the robbers.

[Stewey]
Don't move.
It's gonna be fine.

I'm gonna just
reach in my pocket--

Bark, you fool! Bark!and get you this
little treat, okay?

Like I said...

Uncle Stewey's here, and we're
gonna make everything fine.

Oh, he got me with
the oldest trick
in the book:

the old muzzle
over the noggin.

Gotcha. Where's the kid?

He's not around.Huh?

Listen, I looked in every
crack in this shack.

There's nothing.
No kid, no nobody.

That's impossible.
Are you sure?Everywhere.

Under the beds.
I checked the windows.
They were closed.

I'm telling you,
there's nobody here.

Well, if there's no kid,
then who sabotaged us?

[Zeus]
Yours truly.

[Ted]
That's ridiculous.You're telling me.

Look at this.
What's that?

K-9...Zeus?

I don't believe it.
We're dealing with
a certified K-9.

[Stewey]
Wow. A real police dog.

I seen a whole special
about these guys.

Wait a second.
It's him.

This dog is one
of the smartest dogs
in the world.

Give me the stick here.Apparently he ain't
that smart.

Talk is cheap
where I come from,
marshmallow man.

Wait, wait, wait!

Let me smash him.

No. First we get what
we came for. Then you can do
whatever you want to, okay?

I don't like dogs.

[inhales][exhales]

Ted, you always make me
feel a lot better.

I'm gonna make you suffer,
then suffer some more,

and then you're gonna
know what pain is.

Let's get out of here.

Come on.Here, hold this.

Nice picture.

Well, that went well.

[snoring]

Mommy, I miss Zeusie.

Yeah, me, too.
Can we go get him?

Please?Please?

It is Christmas Eve.Yeah, Mom.

You always said,
"No one should be home
alone for Christmas Eve."

[Kara]
Yeah, you said that.

[sighs]
Maybe we shouldn't
have left him alone.

He could be destroying
the house as we speak.

So let me go get him.
I'll be back in a couple hours.

We wanna go, too.Yeah, can we come?

Sure.

Let's do it. All right.
Let's go, let's go.

Hey, what if we
run into Santa
on the way?

Oh, don't worry,
sweetheart.

Santa's reindeer is no match
for the Bannister sleigh.

That is right.
Let's go.Shh! Don't wake up Grandma.

[snoring]

Where'd you go? What?

Wait for me!

[engine revs]

[horn honks]

[Zeus]
What are those guys
doing downstairs?

I gotta get out of here.

Ah!

A house this nice,
and all they got is
prepackaged bologna?

[whistles]
Unbelievable.

Ahh!

What are you doing?

Nothing.What'd I tell you?

I told you no funny business.

Ted, I've been through
the ringer today. Let me
just eat something in peace.

We've been in this house
too long already.

Do you want
to go back to jail?

I'll probably get
better bologna there.

You're better than that,
Stewey. Come on!

Ah, maybe they got better
bologna in the fridge
downstairs.

This is worse than
the time I got dognapped
by that crazy clown

who shot me out of a cannon
twice a week for a month.

Almost got it, almost.
Come on. Almost...

Boo yah!

These guys are loaded.

Why are you eating again?
I told you don't eat.I'm hungry.

You had-- You just ate
two seconds ago.That was a long time ago.

[siren chirps]

Cops! Cops!

That was subtle.

Shh!

Who's out there?

The cops.What do they want?

They want to wish you
a Merry Christmas.Really?

No! They're patrolling
the neighborhood.
What do you think?

[panting]

Shh! You breathe so loud.

[Cop #1]
Hello?[farts]

[Cop #2]
Police! Anybody here?Stop it.

When I'm nervous, I pass gas.
It's anxiety, you know.

Well, cork it up.[farts]

[sniffs]

Ugh! You smell that, man?

[farts]

I think they can hear that.

What is that?

Ohh! Ah, it's burning.

It burns.
Does yours burn?No, mine doesn't burn.

[farts]I'm out of here.

No, don't!

Forget the sandwich.I want my sandwich.

Stop it!

Stop it!

Let's get out of here.
Oh, god!

We're going to jail for sure.
I knew we should not
have done this.

We shouldn't have
broke the rule.Break the rule?

This is all your escapade.
Remember, in the car?

"We do one more heist,
we can pay off Tony Rowe."
That was you, remember?

I didn't say that.
You said that.You lyin' skunk.

You also said you were
gonna get the money
and get a nose job.

You said that!
I don't need a nose job.

[sighs]
Whatever.

Some plumbers.

They probably
broke a gas pipe.
That's what it was.

[Dispatcher]
145 Second Avenue. 10-96.

Oh, we just caught a break.

All right,
let's get our gear,

all the loot,
and let's get out of here.

Got it?Got it.

[no audible dialogue]

Stop playing
with the statues.

I'm in the mood
to go to the track.

Now these guys
have gone too far.
No more Mr. Nice Dog.

♪ Bright

♪ Round young--

Don't say that word.

♪ Mother and child

All right, Mom, Dad,
if she doesn't stop right now,

I'm gonna open the door
and jump out of the car.

Okay? Will you
please tell her?

♪ Night

Whew!

Stewey!

Just relaxing,
shooting some pool.

Leave the stuff alone.
Go get the loot!

Just this knot,
and I'm outta here.

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace

[car door opens][tires screech]

[George]
Hey! Get back in the car!

[snoring]

Ben, a little help here,
please.

[snoring]

Hey, Jack, Zeus is back.

Ted, what about these gifts?

You're heartless,
you know that?

Time to pay the piper, boys.

How are they gonna feel
when they come back

and they think that Santa
skipped their house, huh?

I like toys.That's because
you're a child.

Boy, these guys are whack.

[sniffs]
Is that bologna?

How about
we take half of them
and sell 'em online

and take the other half
and we keep 'em?

Now you're talking.

All right.There you go.

Wait a second.
Did you hear something?

No. I didn't hear anything.

It's up on the roof.

Maybe it's a reindeer.

Maybe it's Santa.
He's gonna catch us.

Santa's not gonna catch us
if you will move your butt.

Not for nothing, Ted.

I don't want coal
in my stocking
two years in a row.

There are no reindeer
on the roof.

Are you saying
you don't believe in Santa?

Of course
I believe in Santa.

But everybody knows
that Santa does not
start his route

until after midnight.

You're right.
When you're right,
you're right.

Mm-hmm.

But wait a second.
How come there's gifts
and toys here already?

Maybe he made
an early stop.

He could do that?

He can do whatever
he wants to. He is Santa.

You're right. You're right.

Ted, you always know
how to make me feel better.

Let's do this.Can we move?

Yes. Stack me up.[Zeus growling]

You and your stomach.
Would you go to
the bathroom already?

That's not my stomach.
My stomach's fine.

No, I can hear it growling
like a wild coyote.

Ted, that's not my stomach.

[Zeus growling]

Aah!

Aah! Get off!
Stewey, get off!

I'm trying!Stewey, I--

I can't breathe! Ohh!

God, you're so fat!

I ain't fat!
I'm big boned!

Aaahhh!

This is it, Zeus.
You can do it.

Bark, bark!

Let it out, Zeus!
Think of the Bannisters
and bark!

I'm doing it!
I'm doing it!Get him.

I'm barking!
I'm actually barking!

I'm gonna mace this dog
once and for all.

Go ahead, punk.
Give it your best shot.

Don't move.
I'm gonna get you.

[screaming]

You have caused us
a lot of trouble today.

Boy, did you clowns
pick the wrong house.Get that dog!

Get that dog!

Oh. Stewey.

You okay?

Huh?

I-I-I-- I'm sorry.

[grunts]Oww.

Ooh.

Come on, come on! Let's go!
Let's get out of here!

[grunts]
You can make it.
Come on, Stewey.

You're making
too much noise.
We're gonna get caught.

You always make me feel
so much better.

No, no!

No, get up!
Come on, Stewey.

Wake up.
Wake up, Stew. Stewey!

We're gonna get caught,
and you're going back to jail.

Come on!

Don't you go to sleep
right now! Come on!

Stewey, come on.
We're gonna get caught.
I don't wanna go to jail.

Stewey!

[growls]
Come on. Gotta get this.

Here we go. Lights out!

Sleep well, boys.

[crash]

We've got reports of
a struggle at 5737 Red Maple,

reported by the neighbor
across the street. Over.

♪ God rest ye merry gentlemen

♪ Let nothing you dismay

♪ Remember Christ, Our Savior
was born on Christmas Day ♪

[barking]

Whoa!
Easy, dog.

Fellas,
what took you so long?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! No!
Just calm down. Nice, nice.

I don't have
any treats either!

Give him a treat!
Give him something!
Give him some gum.

I got some gum!
Um, the gum. Gum? Gum?

[Zeus barking]

[snoring]

Whoa. Easy, dog. Easy.Excuse me.
What's going on here?

I'm George Bannister.
I live here.

George, buddy, I did it!
I stopped them!

Mr. Bannister, there was
an attempted robbery.

We received a call from
one of your neighbors.The woman with the white cat.

White cat?

If it wasn't for your dog,
these guys would've
gotten away.

[Zeus]
All in a day's work.

Oh, my gosh.Wait. Th-Th-The dog?

Really? Oh, my--
He's a hero, honey.
You're a hero, Zeus.

Sorry about the mess, guys.

If I had hands,
I'd clean it up myself.

Let's get him
out of the way.All right.

Get up.And let that be a lesson to you:
Never resist arrest.

Oh, and by the way,
I talked to Santa.

You're both getting coal
in your stocking this year.

Jeez.

[groans]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

I can't believe
he's barking.

Yay! He's barking!Tell him to put
a sock in it already.

Of course he's barking, honey.

These dogs are
so highly trained
and intelligent,

they're trained to bark
and not to bark.

You know, right now
he happens to be barking.

You were right.
He came through
when it counted.

I told you he just needed
a little chance, that's all.

Zeusie,
you saved Christmas!

Yeah.Aw, thanks.
I love you guys, too.

Just Zeus, honey.

I got him!
Take this clown.

Let's go.
You're going to jail.

Oww!Buck up.

Don't say anything.

Zeusie boy!Mommy!

Hey, Ben, Kara,
I missed you guys.

Hey, what's up?

Come here, Zeusie!
Come here, Zeusie!

We missed you so much, man.Come on, Zeusie! Come on!

Mr. Bannister?

Yeah.

We could really
use a dog like Zeus
down at the precinct.

How about it,
Mr. Bannister?

Would you consider
letting us adopt him?

Oh, come on, Mom.
Can we please
keep Zeusie?

Yeah. Mommy,
we wanna keep Zeusie.

Sorry, Officers,
but I'm retired and
living the good life now.

Well, looks like
he's become
a part of the family.

Yeah.
What do you think, Zeus?

You wanna become a police dog
or stay a Bannister?

"Zeus Bannister"
has a nice ring to it.

You know what, guys?
We've been through so much
with this dog

that he's gotta
stay a Bannister.

[Cop]
We understand.

Sorry about that.

Well, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas!Bye!

[siren wailing]

Hi.Hi there.

Evening.

I'm George Bannister.
This is my family.

Well, I'm Mildred.
This is Chegwee.

Hi, Mildred.Nice to meet you finally.

Hey!Oh, hi!

Annie?

Millie?
Oh, my goodness!

[George]
You guys know each other?

Singles night
at the karaoke bar.

We won first place.

♪ Hava nagila

♪ Hava nagila
That was wild!

This is your family?Yes, it is.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

All right. Who's this?

This is Chegwee.Hi, Chegwee.

I owe it all to you, Millie.
It turns out you can teach
an old dog new tricks.

Well, you're welcome for
eggnog if you'd like.Oh!

Thank you.Oh, come on, yeah.
Have some eggnog with us.

I can't believe
I haven't seen you in so--I know, I know.

We gotta go back and do this.
I mean, you were like
my best partner.

Nobody else could sing
like me off-key.

George!

Look at the mess!

[sighs]
I know, honey.

We were robbed, so...

this is what
it's gonna look like.

Honey, but let's try to relax
and enjoy the evening.

I mean, it is
Christmas Eve, okay?

We'll take care of this later.

Okay.

Merry Christmas.Merry Christmas.

I think I hear
carolers.Me, too.

♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

♪ And a happy New Year

Ah!

Look at this!Come on!

♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

♪ And a happy New Year

♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

♪ And a happy New Year

♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

♪ We wish you
a merry Christmas ♪

♪ And a happy New Year

Merry Christmas to all,
and to all a good night.

George, it just--
Stop it!

I know. It's me.
It's not you.Okay, okay, okay.

I think he's become--
What?

Right.
I'm good, I'm good.Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Now, where do I put these?Oh, anywhere, sweetheart.

Anywhere your
little heart desires.

Uh, you wanna
put that up top there?
Yeah, that's good.

But, honey, we're trying
to make it look prettier,
you know?

Just a little prettier.

But that's okay.
It was a good try.

Ow! Ow!

[crash][laughter]

Try again.

[farts]Ohh!

[laughter]

Woof woof!Ruff.

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace

Lay down, lay down, sleep.

♪ Sleep

You can sleep.
You can sleep.

♪ Sleep in heavenly peace

Come on, Stewey, come on!

[laughs]
How about a half a dog
with two legs?

[laughs]

Just what I like.Yeah.

It's a comedy anyway.

Okay. Okay, okay.
George!

George!George!

Hmm. I don't know if I
wanna visit those kids.

They're not very happy.

Wow. They must've done
something--

[George]
Okay, I gotta stop you.[laughter]

[Belinda]
Somebody's gotta stop her!

[no audible dialogue]

Doesn't work![crash]

You all right?

Just what I thought.

No expression means
"Bannister."

Thank you very much.We understand.

Go and exit.

All right, here we go.
Come on, come on.

Okay. Okay.Come on. Come on.

Belinda, trust me, okay?
He's a--

[laughs]

Trust me.
Belinda, trust me.

Okay, honey?
These K-9 police dogs
are so highly--

What's the matter?

Okay.Belinda, trust me.

Look at this little guy.

Yeah. You're a cute one,
aren't ya?

Hi. You're so cute.

You're so cuddly.
Look at you.

[dog barking]

You okay?
Don't touch the dog!

[laughter]

That's it.[laughter]

Closed-captions byCAPTION FILES
www.captionfiles.com

♪ Do I ask too much

♪ Do I pray too hard

♪ Crossing all my paws

♪ Wishing on a star

♪ That someday there'll be

♪ A home for me

♪ And they'll call my name
and they'll really see ♪

♪ Who I truly am
in my heart ♪

♪ Christmas

♪ Merry Christmas

♪ The most magical
time of the year ♪

♪ Christmas

♪ Let love find me

♪ I'll kiss their face
I'll wag my tail ♪

♪ I'll strut my stuff
bringing in the mail ♪

♪ I will wait

♪ And I'll believe

♪ Deep in my heart

♪ Right here with you

♪ That someday
my Christmas dream ♪

♪ Can come true

♪ On this Christmas Eve
don't eat Santa's toys ♪

♪ Have one request
To find my voice ♪

♪ Not to be afraid
To have the faith ♪

♪ This old canine
has what it takes ♪

♪ Can I dig real deep

♪ And can I make them proud

♪ Can I rise above

♪ Memories and doubt

♪ Christmas

♪ Merry Christmas

♪ The most magical
time of the year ♪

♪ Christmas

♪ Let love find me

♪ And I'll stand up tall
and I'll be so strong ♪

♪ And I'll keep on watch
see them through the storm ♪

♪ Oh, I will wait

♪ And I'll believe

♪ Deep in my heart

♪ Right here with you

♪ That someday
my Christmas dream ♪

♪ Can come true

♪ Don't leave candy canes
underneath the tree ♪

♪ Or a Milk Bone mountain
that's five feet deep ♪

♪ A leash that's made
of solid gold ♪

♪ A diamond collar
to call my own ♪

♪ Just somebody
who will throw a ball ♪

♪ Play fetch together
all day long ♪

♪ The bestest friend
in a furry coat ♪

♪ And I won't be
left out in the cold ♪

♪ Christmas

♪ Merry Christmas

♪ The most magical
time of the year ♪

♪ Christmas

♪ Let love find me

♪ I'll kiss your face
I'll wag my tail ♪

♪ I'll strut my stuff
bringing in your mail ♪

♪ I'll find my voice
and when I do ♪

♪ I'll stand by
every one of you ♪

♪ And so I'll wait

♪ I believe

♪ In my heart