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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,880
Ty, no, no! Oh, my God!
It's the whole 24-hour PA thing.
2
00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:05,120
Carer? Er, yes.
3
00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,640
You don't do a single thing for her?
4
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,160
You la-a-azy fuck!
5
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:11,480
Abe! Hey, surprise. How long
are you sticking round for?
6
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,120
Ah, dude,
I am literally homeless right now,
7
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:16,880
I had to get the fuck out of Lille.
Well, we'd love to have you stay.
8
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:18,160
Right?
9
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:20,360
I don't really know
if I'm a model.
10
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,840
OK, can I just stop you there?
11
00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:24,480
You're the most fucking stunning
woman I've ever seen in my life.
12
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,000
I think that Abe is going
to propose.
13
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,400
SHE CHUCKLES
14
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,400
What?
15
00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,320
Levi, Jo. Jo, Levi.
16
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:32,760
Levi is Abe's son.
17
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,000
Hi. Hello.
18
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,400
I wondered whether these might look
better on someone standing.
19
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,040
Ty, you're fired.
20
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,680
How long before we can get
a replacement, do you think?
21
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,120
I need you.
22
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,760
Fine, I'll do it.
23
00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,520
I guess we have someone.
24
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,800
No! It's just the, er...
it's the eyes.
25
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,800
PIANO PLAYS SOFTLY
26
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,800
It's the shell, it's the...
27
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,880
Why does anything under
the sea have whiskers?
28
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,800
It's wrong.
29
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,760
It's called ostraconophobia.
30
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,600
Ostraconophobia.
31
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,160
Say it again.
32
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,800
Ostraconophobia.
33
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,280
You know, why, when YOU say it,
does it sound fucking hot?
34
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,200
Now I WANT to have it. Ah.
35
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,200
SHE GIGGLES
36
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:17,800
Sorry. I'm not here.
37
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,640
I just can't do aioli.
38
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:25,080
Oh, wait. Can you deshell one
of these bad boys for Freya?
39
00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:26,360
Can you do this?
40
00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,000
Thanks, babe.
41
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,480
Teeing up for another vanilla
proposal?
42
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,760
Freya! Freya, Freya, Freya, Freya!
Hmm?
43
00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,400
These freaks have tiramisu
AND fondant!
44
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,440
Oi! I'm going to get one of each.
45
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,320
Just put it on that guy's tab.
46
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,280
Cheers, bro.
47
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,640
You said there was somewhere
we could send her, for training?
48
00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,360
I'll do some research.
49
00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:57,400
Mmm.
50
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:58,760
Mmm. Hmm.
51
00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:08,320
Now, for legal reasons, and I do
have to disclose this up top,
52
00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,080
I am ex-military.
53
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:11,600
OK?
54
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,280
And don't ask me for dates.
55
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,040
Don't ask me what I did.
56
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,280
Because whether you're out there
on the field
57
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,440
or you're back here entering data,
58
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,840
it's all military.
59
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,960
OK? And as such,
60
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,960
I have high standards.
61
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:30,280
Aha! Latecomer! Good thing
we haven't covered punctuality yet.
62
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,560
Er.
63
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:32,960
Yeah...
64
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,240
Er, sorry, er, traffic was...
65
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,720
Perfectly flowing.
66
00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,080
I check a five-mile radius
before every class.
67
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,920
But thank you for volunteering!
68
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:43,840
We're on PA liability.
69
00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,520
Up you step.
70
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:47,720
Poppy here is your employer.
71
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,120
Normal day.
72
00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,920
Just react accordingly.
73
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:54,960
Thanks again for a great day
of being my PA.
74
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,480
Oh, no!
75
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,400
I feel dizzy. Wait...
76
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:00,920
Oh... WHoa!
77
00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,560
IMITATES WRONG-ANSWER KLAXON
78
00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,560
You messed up.
79
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,320
Step away, step away, step away.
80
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,440
If you can't protect yourselves,
81
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,880
you can't protect them.
82
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,160
So I'm just supposed to let them
eat it?
83
00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:16,480
Not your problem.
84
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,200
Now you've got a slipped disc.
85
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:20,240
Out of work. Lengthy legal battle.
86
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,880
They said, you said.
87
00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:23,280
That's your problem.
88
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,800
People,
I cannot stress this enough -
89
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,440
do not be a hero.
90
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,520
Until 999 arrives,
leave them on the floor.
91
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,720
All right? Yeah. Sorry.
92
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:38,960
TOOTHBRUSH BUZZES
93
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,200
SHE SPITS
94
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:51,560
How's it going?
95
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,280
How's it going?
96
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,880
Listen, Ty, I know
we left on a bit of a tense moment.
97
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,320
TY SIGHS
98
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,320
I...
99
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,120
Look, we can drop the act, Freya.
We both know why you called me here.
100
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,360
Erm so you can work
your two weeks' notice?
101
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:08,880
Sure. Sure, sure.
102
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,760
You're lonely.
103
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,120
You're unsatisfied.
104
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,440
You're shacked up with someone new
and it's different.
105
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,240
It's unfamiliar.
106
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:22,200
You thought you wanted Jo,
but I'm all you can think about.
107
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,960
Well,
I appreciate you being here, Ty.
108
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,400
It's OK.
109
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:31,040
We can get past this.
110
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,560
It's just...
111
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,360
..it's going to take some time.
112
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,040
As much time as I need.
113
00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,160
Good morning, Ty.
114
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,120
Nice to see you again.
115
00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:44,920
You heading to the office?
116
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,280
I'm off to Sydenham.
117
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,000
Bronco Brian's Diner.
118
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,520
Oh, my God, I LOVE Bronco Brian's!
119
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:54,000
Loved.
It's going under, unfortunately.
120
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,040
What?! No! I love Bronco's!
121
00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:58,760
That's where I popped my cherry.
122
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,880
Yeah, it is sad.
Family-run business.
123
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,520
Been there over 50 years.
124
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,720
Yeah, I wanted to take this
case myself
125
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,600
and, er, go down there
for old times' sake, you know?
126
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,840
You heading out soon?
Yeah, going to the gym.
127
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:13,960
Really?
128
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,560
Do you think it will help?
129
00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:19,320
This doesn't need any help, Ty.
130
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,120
No, it's a modelling shoot.
131
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:23,160
Oh, I think you're being
a bit modest.
132
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,240
She's been hand-selected
for a nationwide campaign.
133
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,920
OK!
134
00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:32,080
Well, I think it's very cool that
I'm now officially dating a model.
135
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,720
Plus, you know, these days,
136
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,080
you really don't have to be
that good-looking to be a model.
137
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,000
Look alive! Argh!
138
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,400
Keep your eyes on the road.
139
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,320
Jesus Christ... Attention!
140
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,520
Watch out, watch out!
141
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:50,840
Is she OK? This side!
142
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:52,760
Like, we're... Reverse! Reverse!
143
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:54,800
I'm doing it, I'm doing it! God!
144
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,680
Right, where do we live,
Dystopian Mario World?
145
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:00,960
London.
146
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,360
And who decides
if you pass or fail today?
147
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,520
Hmm? Who decides if you walk away
with a laminated certificate?
148
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:09,080
Oh, laminated?
Well, that changes everything.
149
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:12,480
Do you, er, pre-laminate
or do you laminate here?
150
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,400
If you don't start showing
the process some respect,
151
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,680
I'm not afraid
to let you go empty-handed.
152
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,320
Ooh, fiery.
153
00:06:20,320 --> 00:06:21,880
I've got my eye on you, Private.
154
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,440
Now, see? There's no system, Jane.
155
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:27,800
You've got the boys' school play
here next to your mum's...
156
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,400
..what is that - third wedding?
157
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,520
No, time isn't linear, Abe.
That's an illusion.
158
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,360
It's more of a tangle.
All right, all right.
159
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,840
Close the portal. Funnily enough,
160
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,560
I do not spend my every evening
going through those.
161
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,040
I don't know why you need
a photo anyway.
162
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,680
They'll probably remember
the guy who cried
163
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,480
the first time he tried
a triple cheeseburger.
164
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,720
Oh, forgive me for being nostalgic,
Jane.
165
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,080
Shan't. Hey, Mum, try this.
166
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,680
Oh, my God,
that's absolutely amazing.
167
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,560
Mmm. Huh?
168
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:52,680
No.
169
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,200
CLATTER
Ooh! For God's sake, remove...
170
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,160
It's all right... How's not being
engaged, Dad? It looks super-chill.
171
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,400
Oh I'm always chill, Levi,
you know me.
172
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,000
Yeah, this is what a chill man
looks like, bug.
173
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,720
Rifling through his ex-wife's stuff.
174
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,960
I meant to say, um,
how's it going with, er...?
175
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,440
Freya.
176
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,000
No, not Freya, the...the other one.
177
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,920
Jo. Jo, yeah, that's her name.
178
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,120
Oh, yeah, she's still around.
179
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,080
Definitely has a left-field approach
to the whole PA thing,
180
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:22,320
I'll say that.
181
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:24,720
I'm so proud of your dad.
182
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,640
You know, he turns 50
and sets up a harem.
183
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:29,080
SINGS ANGELICALLY
184
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,880
I don't want to...
I don't want to look at it.
185
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,840
Don't make me.
That's called diligent seeking.
186
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,680
Yeah. Always pays off.
187
00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:36,840
Well done.
188
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:40,000
Let nobody ever say
you don't always try far too hard.
189
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,440
I didn't really need training.
190
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,960
I'm not saying I'm more innately
talented than Jo, but...
191
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,920
Three, two, one. Oh, lovely.
192
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,160
OK, arm up.
193
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,040
Swing that leg forward...
Yeah, Ty, let's go.
194
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,160
Like...
Oh, my God. This is incredible.
195
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:56,040
Let's turn round.
196
00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,320
Freya Anan? You're late.
Follow me. Right,
197
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:04,320
so, as you know, Gym Asylum's summer
campaign #EveryBodyFreakOut
198
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:07,360
showcases the new Gym Asylum sports
range on a variety of diverse,
199
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,640
beautiful bodies.
200
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,400
And you are...golf.
201
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:11,800
Golf? Yeah, golf.
202
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:13,320
Who's this? Er, she's my...
203
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,680
Second half. Better half.
204
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,200
The old ball and chain.
205
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,240
OK.
206
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:19,280
That's, er...
I'm not going to engage with that.
207
00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,480
Hair and make-up,
ten minutes, calling for golf.
208
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:25,600
OK, Tiger Woods!
You ready for your first big job?!
209
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:26,680
Born ready!
210
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,960
Yeah, Ty, can you just grab me
a snack or something?
211
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,160
I... One day on set
and she's already a queen!
212
00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,800
Look, my pleasure be.
213
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,800
Sorry, can we just talk about golf?
214
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:36,160
Oh, I know, I know.
215
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,440
We worked bloody hard for that.
216
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:42,160
They offered us squash at first,
but we were relentless!
217
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,600
Wardrobe, come in for golf.
218
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,400
It's just like I don't know
if I can play golf.
219
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,360
Like, with my hands.
I can't grip so...
220
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,000
No, any...anyone can play golf
in these clothes,
221
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,640
that's, that's the whole point.
Er, you know, we...
222
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:57,480
..we want to empower every woman,
in every body,
223
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,720
to want to play golf.
224
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:00,920
Don't...
225
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,680
She's just spitballing, you know?
226
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:04,840
Like a creative AND a model! Yeah.
227
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,120
Golf hasn't shaved her legs.
228
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:09,920
I repeat,
golf hasn't shaved her legs.
229
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,480
Jesus. OK. No-one panic.
No-one panic, it's OK.
230
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:13,920
I mean, aren't we over body hair?
231
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,960
I mean, #EveryBODYhashair so...
232
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,560
Except for people with alopecia.
233
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:20,720
Huge demand for them
at the moment, actually.
234
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,400
Yeah. Don't worry.
235
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,720
I will source us a razor. Yeah.
236
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,480
Can someone source us a razor?!
237
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,400
Did I need to shave anything else?
238
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,480
Well, what else is hairy?
239
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,080
Generous amount of lube.
240
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,840
TUBE SQUIRTS
241
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,240
VIBRATING
242
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,880
All down there.
243
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:40,360
Then small circles
to relax the sphincter.
244
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,240
Manual stimulation.
245
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,440
OK? We're not digging for gold.
246
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,720
And if you play your cards right,
you end up with one of these.
247
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:57,240
Would you rather your finger be
permanently fused to an asshole
248
00:09:57,240 --> 00:10:00,680
or your asshole have a finger
permanently fused inside?
249
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,160
Right. Are we evacuating stools?
250
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:04,880
Or distracting committed stimmers?
251
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,200
Er, I'm just making contacts
in the industry.
252
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,840
It's good to network.
253
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:10,720
Insubordinates don't make good PAs.
254
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,600
I'm sorry, I'm just not, you know,
learning anything new.
255
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,240
Well, being a PA's
all about expecting the unexpected.
256
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,120
Oh, but I've expected all of this!
257
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,240
People need to shit,
they need to eat, they need to wash,
258
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,760
they need to go places... Do you
know what you should be teaching us?
259
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:24,600
Do you know what IS unexpected?
260
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,400
Well, if it's unexpected...
When does a PA know
261
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:27,680
when they should or shouldn't help?
262
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,680
Like where's the line between PA
and friend, hmm?
263
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:32,640
What are the boundaries, Susan,
and what happens
264
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:37,120
when someone you love starts paying
you to stick around?
265
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,760
Constipation!
266
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,000
It happens, people.
267
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,680
DOOR SQUEAKS
268
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,360
Take a seat, pal.
269
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:06,400
Ferg? I can see you scooping out
the foam with your hand.
270
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,840
18 months, you can't pour a pint.
271
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,920
Hey, it's... Brian.
272
00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,640
Pleasure. Is it?
273
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,040
HE GROANS
274
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,720
Two beers, Ferg.
275
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,400
Assuming you don't usually fuck
people without a beer.
276
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,360
That is why you're here, isn't it?
277
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,520
Um...
278
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,720
Well, this is actually quite a...
279
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,800
..quite an emotional site visit
for me. Is it?
280
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,000
Mmm. Well,
we've been coming here since...
281
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,400
1999.
282
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,280
Yeah?! Yeah.
283
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,360
You used to eat a cheeseburger
with a knife and fork
284
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,120
before you walked through that door.
285
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,880
I remember. I did!
286
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,880
HE CHUCKLES
287
00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:46,000
I remember.
Wow, well, um, do you remember...
288
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,560
..do you remember this?
289
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,800
Proudest day of my life. Hmm.
290
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,000
How about that? How about it?
291
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,840
Yeah. Still come.
292
00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,280
We still come every year.
293
00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:00,640
I bring my boy.
294
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,640
November the 12th.
295
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,400
Yes! Yes. How do you...?
296
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,640
Yeah, wow.
297
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,120
I remember all my regulars,
298
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,480
before they fucked off home to eat
Deliveroo and watch The Crown.
299
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,400
Fucking Netflix.
300
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,240
Killing me, absolutely killing me.
301
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,000
Once a year doesn't cut it.
302
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,600
Once a year doesn't save me
from the man.
303
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,520
Do you want me to do your forearms?
No.
304
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,160
You're golf, right?
305
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,960
Yeah.
Yeah, you looked incredible there.
306
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,240
I mean, who'd you fuck to get
swimming?!
307
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,520
SHE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY
Um, yeah.
308
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,440
Liv told me it was your first time.
309
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,480
I just came by to say hi.
310
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:43,960
Hi back.
311
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,680
You too. Sorry.
312
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,600
Oh, my God, why am I like this!
313
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,040
Am I a cunt?
314
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,160
You always act weird around other
disabled people.
315
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:56,120
I just want them to like me.
And THAT is discrimination.
316
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,160
Er...
317
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,440
Thanks, Ty, I'll take it from here.
318
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,520
Thanks, Ty. I really appreciate you.
319
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:08,720
Yeah.
320
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,400
Thanks, Ty.
321
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,240
You just know some people
still drink milk.
322
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,840
What's the stage of feminism
323
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,560
where everyone's like lost
their fucking mind?
324
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:18,840
Total equality.
325
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:22,720
I understand
you filed for bankruptcy...
326
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,320
Yeah. ..a couple of weeks ago.
327
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:26,560
Well, so, from a, um...
328
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,920
..from a business perspective, um,
we would basically look
329
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:35,280
at your current situation, in terms
of, er, you know, loans, creditors.
330
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,080
Existing payment plans.
331
00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,720
And then we would look at assets
and, er...
332
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:43,600
..and put the best plan of action
together as you head towards,
333
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,480
you know, dissolving.
334
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,200
You had two boys.
335
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:50,840
Two little tiddlers.
336
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:55,920
Yeah. Levi's, er, he's doing great.
337
00:13:55,920 --> 00:14:00,320
He's very much into his food,
maybe, you know, due to this place.
338
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,120
There you go. Oh, lovely, thank you.
OK.
339
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,480
Thank you, Ferg.
340
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,800
Of course,
you know why we're going under.
341
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,640
It's because we're consistent.
342
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,320
But people don't really want
consistency.
343
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,320
No, siree, they want the new stuff.
344
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:17,800
They want burgers
345
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,840
made out of dandelions
346
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,520
that bleed like meat.
347
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:24,200
They want kimchi margaritas.
348
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,920
They want drag queens doing
wet T-shirt contests.
349
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,840
You can't do good, honest
American grub any more!
350
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,080
Do you get out there much?
351
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,200
Where, sorry?
352
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,280
America.
353
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,560
The States? Mm-hm.
354
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,000
No.
355
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,040
Don't have a passport.
356
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,160
Hmm.
357
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,920
Hmm. Why do I want a little
leather-bound book
358
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,920
with all of my data in it?
No, thanks.
359
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,800
A little pamphlet of me so the
government can track my every move?
360
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,600
No, no way, Jose.
361
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,760
And don't get me started on how
the local demographic have changed.
362
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,120
OK.
363
00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,440
Um...
364
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,120
I have something for you.
365
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,560
Hmm?
366
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,800
Aw! My baby girl's all grown up!
367
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,720
I had to wrestle it out of her hand.
368
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,480
I couldn't tell
if she wanted to fuck me or bite me.
369
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,120
Thanks for doing that.
370
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,160
It means a lot to Abe. So...
371
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,200
PHONE VIBRATES
372
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,200
Sorry. One sec.
373
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,320
Hey, so what's your handicap? Hey!
374
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,600
Yeah, I don't... That is just...
That is just not OK.
375
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,400
No, no, I meant...
I meant... I meant golfing-wise.
376
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,040
You know, when like how...
how you calculate your score.
377
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,600
Oh, yeah, I don't play.
378
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,440
So... And who's this now?
379
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:37,200
TOGETHER: This is my husband.
Oh, it's my son.
380
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,480
Why do I bother? Just...
just follow me.
381
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,520
Commercials pay better than film.
382
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,680
Commercials pay better than film.
Commercials pay better than film.
383
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,080
All right.
384
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,760
Oh, fuck,
I got shaving cream on my braid.
385
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,840
Then Brexit happened,
386
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,200
which was a God-send for us,
387
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,600
cos we had a Polish pot-wash.
388
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,200
I mean, you know where I'm going
with this.
389
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,920
So, getting back to the fixed assets
that we will have to sell off,
390
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,440
um, we have the building, obviously,
391
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:14,440
we have a moped that you use for
deliveries and we have a food van.
392
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,480
You're welcome to make an offer
on the food van.
393
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,600
She's a creaky fucker,
but she's a trouper.
394
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,480
Some of my best times
were in that van.
395
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,760
Touring up and down the country,
me and my old man.
396
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,440
And before that,
him with his old man.
397
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,440
Gramps opened this place the same
day they put a man on the moon.
398
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:32,880
Really? He didn't realise.
399
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,000
He's out the front with his grill,
400
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000
cooking meat for hours.
401
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,600
And then no-one turns up.
402
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,040
Cos they're at home,
glued to the TV.
403
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,520
Funny how it ends
how it starts, innit?
404
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,040
Not that they did put
a man on the moon, of course.
405
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,320
OK, well,
I think we're all done here.
406
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,760
You're a champion...master...
a champ...
407
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:55,920
More golf maybe?
Yes, we're marketing golf.
408
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,240
Golf...
409
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,640
Think golf.
410
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:02,040
Right, rock it, superstar!
Little less fear in the eyes!
411
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:05,080
Yeah, think, um...think sexy.
412
00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,000
Yeah. And golf... Hole-in-one!
413
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,840
PHONE VIBRATES
414
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,200
She looks like a hostage.
OK, let's try something different.
415
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,760
Oh, that's not good.
416
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,320
You're a golf maiden in Miami.
417
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,920
Hey, hey! Hey, you got this, OK?
418
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,400
Dude, I fucking hate this.
419
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,840
I'm doing a terrible job.
420
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,440
I'm not meant to be doing this,
I'm supposed to be an artist.
421
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:39,520
OK. Um, just drown everyone out
and focus on me, OK?
422
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:40,840
OK?
423
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,440
OK, Freya.
424
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,440
Um, give me, er...
425
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,320
"I just killed someone" eyebrows.
426
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,560
Like "I just drank a really
dry cider" cheekbone.
427
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,680
OK, now eye-fuck me.
428
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,240
Yeah, curl your lip
and make a slice of teeth.
429
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,840
Stunning facial agility.
430
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,800
Um, yeah, you just have to speak
her language.
431
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,440
Ah, so...
432
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,160
Oh, my God. OK, um...
433
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,840
Tea bagging, dead eyes,
Kardashian sisters OD'd.
434
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,760
Love that. Stunning. That feels...
Stunning.
435
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,440
DOORBELL
436
00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:21,920
Oh.
437
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,880
We're actually already
very passionate Mormons,
438
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,600
but thank you anyway.
439
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,840
Do you want to see something
exciting?
440
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,520
Define exciting.
441
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:34,680
Hmm. Hello.
442
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,440
How was Bronco's?
443
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:38,680
Owner's a bigot.
444
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:41,560
Do bigots make better burgers?
Discuss.
445
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,760
I mean, that is kind
of anthropologically intriguing.
446
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,480
You know what's intriguing?
447
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,960
It's all yours,
it's parked back at mine.
448
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,120
You got me a car?!
449
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,560
Come on!
You know I can't drive, Dad.
450
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:54,600
Details! Come on!
451
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,000
Hey?!
452
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:01,920
I'm just...
453
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:05,400
So, sorry,
cos I'm playing catch-up here, um,
454
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,200
did I ask for a food van?
455
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,280
SHE LAUGHS
This is...this is enterprise.
456
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:11,960
This is your own business.
457
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,680
This is you doing whatever you want,
you know,
458
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,600
just grabbing the bull by the horns!
459
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,280
Oooh, you're teetering on the edge
of "Live Laugh Love" here, Dad.
460
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,720
Oh, God, I am loving
your alternative approach
461
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,080
to a midlife crisis.
462
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,480
Choosing to ignore that.
463
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,080
This is my investment in Levi.
464
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,000
What, and this is all you were
prepared to put in?
465
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,360
Humble beginnings, boy.
Come on, hey!
466
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:32,680
IN STRONG NEW YORK ACCENT:
So, what do you say?
467
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,520
Shall we go round the front, have a
couple of cold ones to celebrate?
468
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,280
OK, the accent feels offensive.
Yeah, that's cos it's so good.
469
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,760
You see, it's confusing to you cos
it's so dang good.
470
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,320
Come on, just get out the car.
471
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:43,720
Come on. Come on.
472
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,000
I'm coming, I'm coming.
473
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,680
Hey?
474
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,680
Just think,
I got this for next to nothing.
475
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,200
Is it that because it's the home
to real, live vermin?
476
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,040
It's what?
Oh, have you not seen Ratatouille?
477
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,960
Honestly, by the end of it,
you were running that set.
478
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,160
You were like Tyra fucking Banks.
479
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,600
Yeah. Before she got weird.
Before she got weird.
480
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,640
Oh, don't forget, you don't know
anything about the proposal.
481
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,440
Abe made me swear not to tell you.
482
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,360
Yeah, good job on that one.
483
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,640
Is it bad that I'm kind of relieved
that it didn't happen?
484
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,720
Like, I'm not questioning spending
the rest of my life with him.
485
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,520
But, like, I don't know...
486
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,960
..marriage seemed a bit archaic,
like...
487
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,840
Hello, ladies. Hey, er...
488
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:29,080
LIGHTS CLICK AND BUZZ
489
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:29,080
Aha! How was the shoot?
490
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,200
Yeah, fine, but, um, hot dogs?!
491
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,800
This is Levi's new venture.
492
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,720
Starting a food van business,
aren't you?
493
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,520
Apparently. Aw, cute!
494
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,680
Silver spoon
in the shape of a truck!
495
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,680
He'll pay me back
as soon as he's on his feet.
496
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,440
I can just give you a fiver
for it now, mate.
497
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:44,840
You want to have a look around?
498
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,160
Yeah. Looks cool
499
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,800
and also asbestos-y.
500
00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,440
Ooh, here comes dashing.
501
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:51,040
Thanks.
502
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:52,520
Come see this. Look.
503
00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,760
Hey, Jo!
504
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:56,040
Psst!
505
00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,840
What?
506
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,120
Bad signal today?
507
00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,800
Well, you didn't pick up.
508
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,440
Oh, Jesus, that was you?
509
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,560
I thought I was being stalked.
Well, you're not NOT being stalked.
510
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:11,040
How did you get my number?
Saw it in a phone box.
511
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,840
Ha-ha. Lovely flyer, by the way.
512
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,160
If anything, I would say
that you are undercharging.
513
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,200
No, obviously
I took it off Dad's phone.
514
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:18,480
Why did you call?
515
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,160
Do you not want me to?
516
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:21,800
I work for your stepmummy.
517
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:23,880
Hey, that's the name
of my favourite adult movie.
518
00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,320
You're disgusting.
519
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,840
Congrats. She's, er...something.
520
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,280
Are you going to stick around
for some dinner?
521
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,600
Um...
522
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,560
Yeah, actually, I would love to.
523
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,240
Do you know what? I'm actually going
to head out and get some food.
524
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,320
I'm kind of wiped.
You can't do that, Jo.
525
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,840
You've got to stay with me.
Yeah, but not like ALL the time.
526
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,040
Yeah, all the time, that's the job.
527
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,880
24/7. Oh, right.
528
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,640
IN STRONG NEW YORK ACCENT: Want me
to rustle us up some Sloppy Joes?
529
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,400
Dad, it's got to stop.
I LOVE it when you do that.
530
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:52,600
Well, thank you!
531
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,760
Try telling that to my son,
he doesn't appreciate my talent.
532
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,920
So is this like our first date?
533
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:02,040
Er, that depends.
534
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,920
Do you always take your daddy
on your first dates?
535
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:07,120
Yes, cos he makes me feel safe.
536
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,520
This is a bad idea.
537
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,960
Right. We'll agree to disagree.
538
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:16,240
Come on!
539
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,400
Yeah! Yes!
540
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,360
SHE SQUEALS
541
00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:27,560
Yes! Amazing! Amazing!
542
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,480
Stunning.
543
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,680
Honestly, Gym Asylum couldn't be
happier.
544
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,760
Mmm. And that was a big one to throw
you in with, babe.
545
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:39,640
Oh, yeah. We've had models on our
books for years who've never booked
546
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:41,760
something that big before.
547
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,480
No. Oh, it's mega. It's huge.
It's huge. Huge, huge.
548
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,880
Huge. Your look? Everything.
549
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:48,040
It's everything.
550
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,520
They've already talked about getting
you in again for socials.
551
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,280
For socials, already.
552
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:53,440
My God.
553
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,560
We always like to get our clients
in to see their first proofs.
554
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,800
And these came in this morning.
555
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,840
Have a little look-see at that.
556
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:07,080
Oh, wow. Face of the campaign, babe!
557
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,800
Face of the campaign. The face.
558
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,480
OK, even I didn't know
you could look THAT good.
559
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,400
Did they, er, Photoshop my hands?
560
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,320
Er, my arms can't do that.
561
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:19,640
Legally they are entitled to do
subtle little touch-ups like that.
562
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:21,960
Mm. Wait, is that Ty?!
563
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,560
Fuck. Oh, my God, you know her.
564
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:25,360
She apparently happened to be
on set.
565
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:26,680
We've been trying to get her paid.
566
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,560
But! More to the point, babe,
you did it!
567
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,440
OK? You nailed your first job!
568
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:33,960
Yeah! Yes.
569
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,680
And there is only more where
that's coming from. Yeah. Yeah.
570
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,920
Because if there's one thing
that people love right now,
571
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,800
it's this. Yeah? It's all of this.
572
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,480
Mmm. It's this.
573
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,440
Is someone ready to take over
the world?!
574
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,240
Whaddya reckon?
You good to take over the world?!
575
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,280
Sure.
576
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,160
I might need to pee first.
66465
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