All language subtitles for Vicious.S02E04.HDTV.TLA.en

# Is it so?

# Don't wanna let you go

# No, I never can say goodbye, boy

# Ooh

# No, no

# I never can say goodbye, no no no,
no no no

♪ No no no, ooh, ooh ♪

Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.

Whoever thought?

You and I getting married.

Oh ho!

Did you ever think you'd live to see
the day?

I wasn't even sure I'd live to brush
my teeth this morning.

Did you brush them?

I'll get around to it.

I've still got so much planning
to do.

Food, drinks.

The ceremony. Now don't get carried
away, Stuart.

Remember, we're only spending that
money from my incontinent-pad commercial.

But don't you have that audition
tomorrow?

The big crime drama?

We could use that money, too. Yes,
but I haven't got the part yet.

But it is for six episodes.

I play the owner of a book shop, who is
attacked by teenagers with a crowbar.

I know that's something I'd like
to see.

Thank you.

And I promise I won't get too
carried away.

We'll keep it a simple celebration
with all the people we love.

Yes, spending time with the people we
love is the most important thing.

Oh, look. There's Violet.

Quick, hide.

I hope she didn't see us, I don't
want her to think we're terrible people.

I think she already knows that.

I've invited her over for tea later.
We can have a proper chat.

Yes or we can send her an email.

Oh.

Oh, hello, Violet.

We were just talking about you.

Oh, that's never good.

Hello, Vi. I'd get up and give you
a kiss, but you're all the way over there.

It seems so odd,

but I could have sworn I saw you
both on the street just now.

No.

No, we've been in all morning,
I'm afraid.

But you're wearing your coat.

Are you calling us liars?
No. I'm sorry.

How horrid of me.

To be accused of lying
and in our own home!

Don't push it, Freddie.

So, how are the wedding plans
coming?

Tell me everything.

Do you remember your wedding?

Yes, of course.

Well, just think the opposite of
that.

But my wedding was lovely.

It was just everything that followed
that was so unpleasant.

Wasn't my wedding lovely, Freddie?

It was shit.

But I looked fabulous, didn't I?

Maybe don't ask any more questions,
dear.

Hi.

Oh hello, Ash, how are you feeling?

Not so great.

I guess it will take a while to get
over being dumped by the love of my life.

Well, of course it will take a while,
Ash.

I'll give you... one more hour.

So, here we are, Ash,

both of us newly single.

What do you suppose fate is trying
to tell us?

That you should close your legs.

I think we should both start dating
again, don't you?

I've already met somebody online,

who I think I can get really serious
with.

Do you know anything about him?

I know he owns a computer.

At this point, that's enough.

I don't think I'll be ready to date
again for a long time.

Well, I have some news that might
cheer you up, Ash.

How would you like to be my best man?

I'd love to, Freddie.
Oh, would you? I couldn't tell,

because you didn't say how honoured
you were.

And that I could have picked anyone,
but I chose YOU.

I'm really honoured.

Well, then, act like it.

I'm gonna throw you a wicked stag
do. We can have it in my flat.

It's a little small.
I hope that's OK?

Yes, anything's fine, just make certain
it's one of the best nights of my life.

The stag do is for both of us,
right, Ash?

Oh. I just thought...

You just thought what?
That you were the woman.

And I suppose you have something
to ask me, Stuart?

Do you mean, 'Why do you smell of
alcohol at ten o'clock in the morning?'

'Would I be your maid of honour?'

Well, I suppose so.

I'm really touched that you would
ask me, darling.

You actually asked you.

I believe it's 'matron' of honour,
dear.

Or if there's anything older than
'matron', then it would be that.

Well, my, I shall need some help
planning this wedding.

I heard my ex-girlfriend Chloe is an
event planner now.

Maybe I can talk to her and she'll
give you a discount.

That would be wonderful!

So far, all the money we have
to spend is from

Freddie's adult nappy commercial.
Mm.

I wet myself at my grandson's
birthday party.

I went method on that one.

Aren't there any other acting jobs
coming in?

Well, if we're lucky,

Freddie is going to get attacked
with a crowbar.

Fingers crossed.

Freddie!

Shouldn't you be leaving for your
audition?

We really need you to get that job.

Yes, all right, all right.

I was doing my vocal exercises
and a tooth came out.

I've shoved a peppermint in there
instead. Can you tell?

Not at all.

It actually looks better.

You should do them all like that.

Hi. You remember Chloe?

Of course.

Yes. How are you, dear?

I'm on three types of medication

since the last time you saw me,
so I'm really fantastic.

Good, because you were a real
arsehole.

So, congratulations.

I hear you're in the market
for a wedding planner.

What are you staring at?

Nothing.

I just forgot how pretty you are.

Aw.

And I forgot how handsome you are.

Knock it off.
Sorry.

Now we're looking to keep this very
simple.

Not that simple, Freddie.

It is our wedding, after all.

I just don't want you dipping into
our savings. We don't have any savings.

Oh, Christ, we're really living right
on the edge, aren't we?

Please, sit.

Since Chloe's just starting out,
she's willing to do you a deal on her fee.

Well, what if, instead, I were to give you
access to some of my celebrity friends?

Helen, Benedict,

Mags... Maggie Smith.

Judi Dench and I are very close. In
fact I'm just off to an audition now.

Do you know the television program
Broadchurch?

Yes.

Well, this is a complete rip-off of
that.

So it's bound to be just as
successful.

Wow, if I could plan events for
celebrities, that would be amazing.

OK. Yes.

I'll do it for free.

We might actually need a small fee
from you as well, dear.

From me?

Really?

Really. We're helping you to
establish your business.

Fair's fair.

I guess.

And, remember, Ash, I don't want you
to go to a lot of trouble for my stag
do. Anything is fine.

I was thinking punch and mini
sausage rolls.

Keep thinking.

I'm off. Don't wait up.

But it's only midday.

I'd still prefer if you weren't
conscious when I returned.

Alastair.
Freddie.

Malcolm.
Freddie.

Colin. Freddie. Rowan.
Freddie.

Trevor.
Freddie.

I thought you were dead.

I'm not.

Who's the empty chair for?

Benjamin.

He's dead.

I knew it was one of us.

Firstly, I want you to know

how happy I am that you're planning
our wedding.

And how easy I'm going to be to work
with.

So... Let's start with a hug.

Thank you, that's such a relief.

I drew up some ideas. Just tell me
what you think. We'll take it from there.

Oh, that sounds wonderful, dear.

I hate everything.

Even the paper it's written on.

Oh, OK.

It would be perfect if we were
planning a crap wedding.

Can I have another glass of water?

I think I need to double up
on my medication.

Yes, that's a good idea.

You can take more than they tell
you, you know.

Have another one.

Ah.

Can you maybe give me an idea of
what you do like?

Er... Do you remember Princess Di's
wedding?

I like that.

That's a bit tricky on this budget.

Oh, Freddie's at an audition that
he's perfect for.

Once he gets the job, we'll have
lots more money to spend.

That would be really helpful,
because, right now, it's a bit tight.

We might need more money from you,
then.

Hello, Stuart. I just brought you
a little something for your wedding.

Oh, thank you, Penelope.
I'm just so happy for you.

Hello, sweetheart.

She's a little young, though,
isn't she?

I'm not marrying her.
I'm marrying Freddie.

Oh.

That's weird.

I don't think you'll want this gift,
then. It's a negligee.

No, that's fine.

And just let me say again, what an honour
it has been to perform for you gentlemen

and that it would be a privilege to
be brutalised by teenagers on Murder Time.

And I tip my cap

and I take my leave,
goodbye and thank you.

And, as I said before, I'd be happy
to do it again, if you'd like to give
me any other direction.

Still no?

Wonderful. Well, then, I'm off and...

thank you

and goodbye.

Trevor.
Freddie.

Rowan. Freddie.
Colin. Freddie.

Malcolm.
Freddie.

What happened to Alastair?

Jeez!

How long was I in there?

How are the preparations coming for
Freddie's stag do?

Need any help?

That would be great.

Oh, I was kind of banking on you
saying no.

Let's forget I asked.

You know, I was thinking of inviting
Leonard to the party.

Who's Leonard?
My online boyfriend.

It's getting quite serious.

He even confided in me that Leonard
was a fake name.

What's his real name?
I've no idea.

I didn't want to push.

You know, I was thinking of asking
my ex-girlfriend Chloe to come, too.

Well, I guess we are both ready to
be dating again.

Yeah, I guess so.
Look there's Stuart!

Oh!
Stuart!

Stuart, darling.
Violet.

Ash.

I didn't even see you both.

What a happy surprise.

I was just out running errands for
the wedding.

I expect you must be pretty busy
yourself, with your maid of honour duties.

I've had no time, darling.

I've been swamped helping Ash with
the stag do.

Where's Chloe? I thought she was
gonna be with you all day?

Oh, she had to go and see her
doctor.

Apparently, she's developed a nervous
tic that she needs to have addressed.

Oh, look, there's Freddie!

I bet he got the role.

Freddie. Freddie!

Stuart.

Violet. Ash.

I didn't even see you all there.
What a happy surprise.

Oh, shut up. I knew we did it to
them.

I didn't know we did it to each
other.

Yes, well we do.

Look, there's Penelope.

Penelope! Penelope!

Bollocks.

Mini sausage roll?
No, thank you.

Mini sausage roll? Thank you. Sorry,
they're still kind of frozen.

Are you having a good time, Freddie?

Not yet, no.

I've added some fruit to the punch.
I think it makes it a bit more festive.

Corpses would make it more festive.

Yes.

By the way, Chloe, this is what you
should be doing.

Thinking of ways to enhance all our
wedding events.

Isn't that what we're paying you
for?

I'm paying you.

I'm really pushed right up against
you, Ash.

I don't even know where to put
my hands.

Not there!

Your flat is so charming, Ash.

I can't believe we've never been up
here before.

It's not too small?
No.

I think it's the perfect amount of
space.

You've just trodden on my foot!
Why are you always on top of me?

We're all crammed in this tin like
sardines.

Where the bloody hell am I supposed
to be, the ceiling?

I know. If anyone exhales, I'll go
right out of the window.

Erm, Stuart, I was wondering if there was
any word on the budget for the wedding.

So far, we can only afford a very
limited guest list.

How limited?
Just the two of you.

Well, Freddie's about to book a big
job. He had a brilliant audition.

Didn't you, Freddie?
They're all brilliant.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll get it, unless
they want to go with a bigger name.

Which would be any other name.

Freddie, I hope this isn't a bad
time and there's no rush at all,

but I was wondering when I might be
getting those celebrity contacts.

You're very aggressive and it's
making me uncomfortable.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going
to eat an hors d'oeuvre off the bed

to make this evening even more
depressing.

Are you OK?

Yes, yes, fine.
I'm not stressed at all.

What happened there?

That? I've been pulling my hair out
in clumps. Is it really noticeable?

Maybe just that one bit where you
can see your head.

You're going to do a great job,
I'm certain of it.

Thanks.

Oh.

Oh.

I forgot how good you felt.

Oh, I forgot how good you felt.

Knock it off.
Oh. Sorry.

This is what I imagined it would look
like living inside a pair of underpants.

Well, Jeremy.

I see.

Well, I'm disappointed, too.

I don't understand.

I gave the writer such insightful
notes.

Are you certain you told them if necessary
they could really hit me with the crowbar?

All right.

Thank you.

You've done such a lovely job
on the party, Ash.

Thanks, Stuart.

I hate all this. Remember?

I want you thinking...

summer meets Evelyn Waugh meets
Paris in the '20s. Is that clear?

Erm... Well...

Is it me? Am I not speaking English?

Sounds as if he's speaking bitch.

Yes, yes, it's clear!

Oh. Oh!

I think I'll try the punch.

Needs a little something.

Getting closer.

Stuart!

Can I have a talk with you?

Oh, please tell me you want
to leave.

No, it's not that, although I am
having a horrible time.

Well, what is it?
Well, I...

You've got the job?
Yes, I've got the job.

Oh, marvellous.

Oh!

Chloe, dear, our budget's gone up,

so now we can talk about
the fireworks display

and the Freddie and Stuart
ice statues.

So, Ash, it seems like you and Chloe
are getting quite close this evening.

I think I really like her, Violet.

Then do something about it.

Soon.

Before Stuart kills her.

You're right. I will.

What about you, Violet? I thought...

..Not-Leonard was coming tonight.

He just texted me. He'll be here in
a minute.

Isn't it wonderful?

Isn't what wonderful?

He's got a mobile phone.

Between that and a computer, I think
I've really hit the jackpot this time.

Well, here's to us.
Here's to us, darling.

One more? Sure.
Actually...

Why don't we use these?

I just wanted everybody to know that
Freddie has landed a big role,

where he gets almost battered to
death by teenagers.

And I couldn't be prouder.

Congratulations.

Now that we finally have the money
for a proper wedding,

Chloe, I want you to move forward on
the 50 white doves

and Shirley Bassey.

Stop, stop, I didn't get the role.

What?
I didn't get the part.

Why would you lie to me?

Oh, I don't know. Because I knew how
important it was to you.

Of course it's important! We need
the money!

All right, calm down. Don't you tell
me to calm down.

I'm not the one who lied. I only
lied because you made it impossible
for me to tell the truth.

Don't you make this my fault.

You two remind me so much of these
guys that live downstairs.

Extraordinary.

Excuse me. Are you Violet?

Yes.

I'm Andrew. Oh.

Erm, I'm sorry, I'm waiting for
Leonard.

I'm also Leonard.

Oh, how wonderful!

This is kind of an awkward moment.
I'll fill you in as we go along.

Since when have I made it so
impossible

for you to tell the truth?

Since you started getting so carried
away with the wedding. How much are
we paying Chloe?

Nothing! I had to borrow money to
take this job, and I still don't
have any celebrity contacts.

He doesn't know any celebrities!

Every single person he knows is in
this room.

How dare you! I have an angry
voicemail message from Dame Judi
Dench which begs to differ.

You stinking turd!

That's Freddie, he's a sweetie.

I'll introduce you later.

Perfect! Because you lied, now we
can't have a proper wedding.

That's not the worst thing in the
world.

You have to ruin everything,
Freddie, so, of course, you ruined this.

Better watch what you're saying,
Stuart, or there's no going back.

I think I know what I'm saying,
Freddie.

This punch is really fucking strong.

I don't know why we're racing into
this, anyway.

How long have we even known each
other? How old is Moses?

I'm tired of this, I'm done with
you, you miserable old shit!

That's Stuart, he's a real poppet.

I'll introduce you later to him.

Good. So no wedding.

No wedding.
Oh, thank God!

We're through, Freddie!

We're through when I say we're
through.

Ooh!
And I say we're through!

There really was no good time for
introductions.

In my defence, that's the first
party I've ever hosted.

Who wants to dance with me?

I will.

Woo-hoo-hoo!

Oh, now we have music!

Now it's actually fun.

I know. Right?

Morning.

Morning, darling.

Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.