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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:21,433
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
2
00:00:23,173 --> 00:00:27,533
Oh, mother. I really don't want to
meet your friend's daughter.
3
00:00:29,413 --> 00:00:31,373
No, it's not because she's fat.
4
00:00:33,253 --> 00:00:35,253
Though that's not a selling point.
5
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:38,533
No, I'm not all alone.
I live with Freddie.
6
00:00:39,493 --> 00:00:42,333
Yes, he still lives here.
7
00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:46,093
No, he doesn't want to meet her
either.
8
00:00:47,853 --> 00:00:53,813
I realise you've been waiting a very
long time for grandchildren, dear.
9
00:00:54,893 --> 00:00:56,933
Keep hanging in there.
10
00:00:58,053 --> 00:01:00,411
I'll call you later.
11
00:01:00,413 --> 00:01:03,891
Grandchildren? How much longer does
she expect to be alive?
12
00:01:03,893 --> 00:01:06,613
She's practically a medical
experiment already.
13
00:01:08,013 --> 00:01:11,053
Scientists should be taking her
apart and studying her.
14
00:01:11,773 --> 00:01:13,891
Beginning with the head.
15
00:01:13,893 --> 00:01:17,811
You can hear me talking from way
upstairs
16
00:01:17,813 --> 00:01:20,011
but not when we are in
the same room.
17
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:23,013
I can hear I just hate the sound
of your voice.
18
00:01:24,053 --> 00:01:26,133
It's unpleasant to the ear.
19
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,171
Although still preferable
to your face!
20
00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:31,211
Well, I'm her only son.
21
00:01:31,213 --> 00:01:35,491
It's understandable that she'd want
a grandchild.
22
00:01:35,493 --> 00:01:37,411
What does she want to do with one?
23
00:01:37,413 --> 00:01:39,371
Eat it?
24
00:01:39,373 --> 00:01:44,651
Well, I would have hoped she'd have
figured out our situation by now.
25
00:01:44,653 --> 00:01:46,691
I have been dropping little clues.
26
00:01:46,693 --> 00:01:49,133
Yes, like living with a man
for 48 years.
27
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:53,013
She doesn't seem to be picking up on
that one.
28
00:01:53,533 --> 00:01:56,251
My agent hasn't called this morning,
has he?
29
00:01:56,253 --> 00:02:03,131
No. He also hasn't called
the 200 mornings before this.
30
00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:05,771
I don't know why I haven't heard
from him lately.
31
00:02:05,773 --> 00:02:08,491
Four older actors died last month.
32
00:02:08,493 --> 00:02:10,733
The phone should be ringing off
the hook.
33
00:02:13,373 --> 00:02:15,491
Are you all right?
34
00:02:15,493 --> 00:02:17,811
It's just that I haven't worked for
a while
35
00:02:17,813 --> 00:02:20,653
and I'm a bit scared that perhaps
I'm...
36
00:02:21,573 --> 00:02:25,051
If you need to talk about it -
Of course I don't need to!
37
00:02:25,053 --> 00:02:27,091
So you can stop nagging me.
38
00:02:27,093 --> 00:02:31,611
And don't you dare mention it with
your bizarrely tiny mouth either.
39
00:02:31,613 --> 00:02:34,333
I'm sure things will pick up.
40
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:38,093
Yes. Hopefully more actors will die
soon.
41
00:02:38,973 --> 00:02:40,811
Specifically you.
42
00:02:40,813 --> 00:02:43,331
Aaah!
Hi. Is this a bad time?
43
00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:46,451
Oh, of course not. Come in, Ash.
44
00:02:46,453 --> 00:02:49,371
Can I get you a cup of tea?
That'd be great. Thanks.
45
00:02:49,373 --> 00:02:53,653
Please sit. What can we do for you,
Ash?
46
00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:57,891
You know how important you've both
been to me these last few months.
47
00:02:57,893 --> 00:03:01,051
I don't know what I'd have done if I
hadn't met you when I moved
to London.
48
00:03:01,053 --> 00:03:03,373
Mostly me, though, right?
49
00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:07,493
What's his face here is fairly
useless.
50
00:03:08,173 --> 00:03:10,891
That's the one thing he can do.
51
00:03:10,893 --> 00:03:13,051
Pour tea. Oops.
52
00:03:13,053 --> 00:03:15,051
Spilt a bit.
53
00:03:15,053 --> 00:03:16,933
No, not even that.
54
00:03:17,933 --> 00:03:21,491
Well, we are very fond of you too,
Ash.
55
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:24,453
So I wanted you to be the first ones
that I told.
56
00:03:29,933 --> 00:03:32,131
I think I might be...
I knew it!
57
00:03:32,133 --> 00:03:34,573
In love with my girlfriend.
Oooh!
58
00:03:35,493 --> 00:03:37,331
We're very happy for you
59
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:40,291
but we haven't heard you mention
a new girlfriend.
60
00:03:40,293 --> 00:03:43,931
Yeah, I know but she's really
special and I wanted to be sure.
61
00:03:43,933 --> 00:03:47,091
Are you certain? Everything you're
telling us about her
62
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:50,173
is raising all sorts of red flags.
63
00:03:50,973 --> 00:03:52,971
But I haven't told you anything
about her.
64
00:03:52,973 --> 00:03:54,933
Exactly.
65
00:03:55,653 --> 00:04:00,651
Well, she's smart and pretty and
funny.
66
00:04:00,653 --> 00:04:04,651
And she doesn't mind I wake up in
the middle of the night screaming.
67
00:04:04,653 --> 00:04:06,613
Well...
68
00:04:08,013 --> 00:04:13,371
it's lovely that she doesn't mind
that disturbing thing you do.
69
00:04:13,373 --> 00:04:18,011
That you should probably be
in therapy for.
70
00:04:18,013 --> 00:04:22,211
I know, right. Well, I really want
you both to meet her.
71
00:04:22,213 --> 00:04:24,291
Why not bring her to dinner?
72
00:04:24,293 --> 00:04:26,211
Tonight.
Yeah?
73
00:04:26,213 --> 00:04:29,611
That'll be great.
She's a vegan, though.
74
00:04:29,613 --> 00:04:31,653
That's all right. We'll have chicken.
75
00:04:33,213 --> 00:04:35,971
Hello. Oh, hello, Violet.
76
00:04:35,973 --> 00:04:38,171
How's Argentina?
77
00:04:38,173 --> 00:04:40,611
Hello, darling. Do you miss me?
78
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,051
Yes, of course we miss you.
79
00:04:43,053 --> 00:04:46,611
It's Violet calling. You remember
our friend Violet?
80
00:04:46,613 --> 00:04:52,053
Hi. Well, how are things in Buenos
Aires with the new boyfriend?
81
00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:54,811
Well, there have been a few hiccups.
82
00:04:54,813 --> 00:04:57,773
Ignasio's wife has been terribly
unreasonable.
83
00:05:00,773 --> 00:05:03,291
Did I mention I've discovered he has
a wife?
84
00:05:03,293 --> 00:05:05,691
No, you did not mention that.
85
00:05:05,693 --> 00:05:09,251
Don't worry. I'm not letting him
take advantage of me, though.
86
00:05:09,253 --> 00:05:11,211
As soon as he learns more English,
87
00:05:11,213 --> 00:05:14,091
I'm going to ask when he plans on
leaving her.
88
00:05:14,093 --> 00:05:16,971
Hang up. It's long distance.
89
00:05:16,973 --> 00:05:19,653
She called us.
Hang up anyway.
90
00:05:20,093 --> 00:05:22,371
Well, listen, Violet. I have to go.
91
00:05:22,373 --> 00:05:26,531
Yes, so do I, darling. Ignasio's
planned a very romantic evening.
92
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:29,973
Just as soon as he's finished
celebrating his wife's birthday.
93
00:05:30,693 --> 00:05:32,853
It sounds heaven. Talk soon.
94
00:05:33,973 --> 00:05:36,051
You're lucky you're straight, Ash.
95
00:05:36,053 --> 00:05:37,971
Otherwise, you'll get one of these
women
96
00:05:37,973 --> 00:05:40,851
who'll latch on to you for decades
and never let go.
97
00:05:40,853 --> 00:05:42,851
But you love her.
98
00:05:42,853 --> 00:05:44,653
Yes. We like her.
99
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,011
Almost finished.
100
00:05:52,013 --> 00:05:53,933
There.
101
00:05:55,013 --> 00:05:57,253
Bollocks. That was a bitch.
102
00:05:59,453 --> 00:06:01,571
I just put it down on my foot.
103
00:06:01,573 --> 00:06:03,533
Help me get it off.
104
00:06:07,813 --> 00:06:09,931
It's too heavy.
105
00:06:09,933 --> 00:06:13,773
But you could manage it before. Yes
and I've had two mini strokes since.
106
00:06:15,253 --> 00:06:18,571
Oh. It won't budge. It's really
jammed into something.
107
00:06:18,573 --> 00:06:20,651
Yeah. My foot.
108
00:06:20,653 --> 00:06:24,651
Damn it! There's
Ash and his girlfriend.
109
00:06:24,653 --> 00:06:26,931
Well, he'll be able to help
with the table.
110
00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:28,931
Please don't say anything.
111
00:06:28,933 --> 00:06:31,211
It's too embarrassing.
112
00:06:31,213 --> 00:06:33,451
I don't want him to think I can't
move a table.
113
00:06:33,453 --> 00:06:38,491
Hello, Ash. It's Ash. Come and say
hello.
114
00:06:38,493 --> 00:06:41,011
I can see him from here, you idiot.
115
00:06:41,013 --> 00:06:44,653
And you are? This is my girlfriend,
Chloe.
116
00:06:45,533 --> 00:06:49,213
Girlfriend. I just love the sound of
that word.
117
00:06:50,293 --> 00:06:54,451
I find boyfriend has more of a ring
to it.
118
00:06:54,453 --> 00:06:58,131
You must be Freddie. I'm so excited
to meet you.
119
00:06:58,133 --> 00:07:01,213
Can I have a hug? I'd prefer not
if that's an option.
120
00:07:02,653 --> 00:07:06,291
You were right, Ash. He's so
dashing.
121
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,891
Well, maybe a very little one.
122
00:07:08,893 --> 00:07:10,893
No, I meant with Ash.
123
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,491
Yoo-hoo! Hello. Over here.
124
00:07:15,493 --> 00:07:17,611
Hello, dear. I'm Stuart.
125
00:07:17,613 --> 00:07:18,771
Hi.
126
00:07:18,773 --> 00:07:22,053
I'm having such a super fun time
already.
127
00:07:23,013 --> 00:07:26,333
Well, I'm glad that you've set
a very low bar for the evening.
128
00:07:27,733 --> 00:07:30,531
We've brought you a candle.
I made it myself.
129
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,251
I make candles.
And soap.
130
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:36,051
Not only is she beautiful,
she's talented.
131
00:07:36,053 --> 00:07:39,731
Ash, stop it. I am very creative,
though.
132
00:07:39,733 --> 00:07:41,371
Ooh, God.
133
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:46,811
And I hear you're an actor so
I guess we've got a lot in common.
134
00:07:46,813 --> 00:07:50,491
Well, if the criterion you're going
by is we both use soap,
135
00:07:50,493 --> 00:07:53,931
I suppose the answer is still no.
136
00:07:53,933 --> 00:07:56,611
How's it going down there, Stuart?
137
00:07:56,613 --> 00:07:58,451
Not as well as I had hoped.
138
00:07:58,453 --> 00:08:01,091
Please sit. Can I get either of you
a drink?
139
00:08:01,093 --> 00:08:03,171
I'd love some sparkling water.
140
00:08:03,173 --> 00:08:05,173
Just a beer for me, thanks.
I'll get it.
141
00:08:06,373 --> 00:08:10,451
I'm all right.
What the hell is wrong with you?
142
00:08:10,453 --> 00:08:13,291
Well, I'm so conditioned to being
a good host
143
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,253
I forgot I was stuck.
144
00:08:16,133 --> 00:08:21,531
Oh, but it worked. I'm free. And my
toe nail was black already so...
145
00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:25,211
Are you all right, Stuart?
Everything is tickety-boo, thanks.
146
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:28,211
He was just stuck under the table
and couldn't lift it off.
147
00:08:28,213 --> 00:08:32,371
Poor little thing.
Now why would you say that?
148
00:08:32,373 --> 00:08:35,171
I specifically asked you not to.
149
00:08:35,173 --> 00:08:37,653
Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry.
I won't mention it again.
150
00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:42,253
He put the table right down on his
toe.
151
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,691
And then wouldn't let me tell you.
152
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:48,693
What a moron, right?
153
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:54,133
Ouch. That must have hurt. No, not
really. It was on his dead toe.
154
00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:57,973
His body is slowly shutting down.
155
00:09:00,293 --> 00:09:02,611
Gosh. That's so sad.
156
00:09:02,613 --> 00:09:06,453
No, he's just joking, dear. He's
going to die first.
157
00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:09,453
Possibly tonight.
158
00:09:10,053 --> 00:09:14,331
Well, it does seem to be the only
way out of this relationship!
159
00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:17,091
What an awful thing to say.
160
00:09:17,093 --> 00:09:18,693
Oh, they're just teasing, Chloe.
161
00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:22,251
Oh, I get it.
162
00:09:22,253 --> 00:09:26,291
I love how you both still have a
sense of humour.
163
00:09:26,293 --> 00:09:28,773
What the bloody hell is that
supposed to mean?
164
00:09:30,213 --> 00:09:31,811
Still?!
165
00:09:31,813 --> 00:09:34,253
It means you look like a rotting
corpse.
166
00:09:35,413 --> 00:09:38,011
No. No. No. That's not what I meant
at all.
167
00:09:38,013 --> 00:09:40,533
Perhaps you could carve it into
a bar of soap.
168
00:09:42,293 --> 00:09:44,611
To help us better understand.
169
00:09:44,613 --> 00:09:48,131
I'm very sorry if I've offended -
They're just playing with you.
170
00:09:48,133 --> 00:09:50,691
Oh. Yes, we're just playing.
171
00:09:50,693 --> 00:09:53,573
Remember you're having a 'super fun'
time.
172
00:09:55,373 --> 00:09:58,813
Oh. Sparkling water. How dreary.
173
00:09:59,893 --> 00:10:02,531
It's very scrummy if you add lemon.
174
00:10:02,533 --> 00:10:05,131
You just looked so adorable
when you said that.
175
00:10:05,133 --> 00:10:08,251
Oh, I love you so much.
176
00:10:08,253 --> 00:10:10,493
I love you so much more.
177
00:10:12,493 --> 00:10:14,453
Jesus Christ!
178
00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:20,053
It's like a car crash.
179
00:10:21,213 --> 00:10:23,691
You can't take your eyes off it.
180
00:10:23,693 --> 00:10:27,253
It's so inspiring you've both been
together so long.
181
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:29,891
How do you do it?
182
00:10:29,893 --> 00:10:33,133
Well, I mostly attribute it
to the fact that he won't leave.
183
00:10:34,773 --> 00:10:39,533
When the time comes, I'm going
to so enjoy unplugging you.
184
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:47,333
You're joking again.
Yes. Ha-ha.
185
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:57,973
What a delightful laugh
you have there.
186
00:10:58,853 --> 00:11:00,813
It isn't irritating at all.
187
00:11:02,293 --> 00:11:04,811
Are you sure we can't get you
a proper drink?
188
00:11:04,813 --> 00:11:08,011
Oh, no. She never drinks. Isn't that
right, Chloe?
189
00:11:08,013 --> 00:11:12,691
It's true. And nothing could give me
more of a high than being with Ash.
190
00:11:12,693 --> 00:11:14,613
Have you tried cocaine?
191
00:11:18,453 --> 00:11:22,491
You seem so devoted to each other.
Do you never argue?
192
00:11:22,493 --> 00:11:25,531
Never. I just don't see how two
people in love
193
00:11:25,533 --> 00:11:28,491
can ever say cruel things
to each other.
194
00:11:28,493 --> 00:11:32,653
I was saying the same thing the
other day to that piece of
shit down there.
195
00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:38,611
Well, I must go and check on dinner.
196
00:11:38,613 --> 00:11:41,331
And feed the dog. Oh, you have
a dog! I love dogs.
197
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,331
Can I see him?
Yes, of course.
198
00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:46,011
He doesn't move much
because he's so old.
199
00:11:46,013 --> 00:11:48,933
But you can help me scrape the crust
out of his ears.
200
00:11:51,373 --> 00:11:53,331
Well, what do you think?
201
00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:56,011
She's a dream.
202
00:11:56,013 --> 00:11:59,051
I'm so glad. It's really important
to me that you like her.
203
00:11:59,053 --> 00:12:02,611
Well, I do. I especially like the
way her constant enthusiasm
204
00:12:02,613 --> 00:12:04,733
doesn't get on my nerves.
205
00:12:06,773 --> 00:12:09,613
Oh, did Balthazar yawn on you,
dear?
206
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:14,253
It's OK. I'm fine.
Just a little nauseated.
207
00:12:15,053 --> 00:12:17,133
Ooh, but he's adorable.
208
00:12:18,173 --> 00:12:22,571
You should have seen him
when he had fur on both eyes.
209
00:12:22,573 --> 00:12:24,653
Did you miss me?
210
00:12:24,933 --> 00:12:27,891
I missed you tons.
Well, that's it, then.
211
00:12:27,893 --> 00:12:30,491
I'm never leaving you alone again.
212
00:12:30,493 --> 00:12:32,093
No running!!
213
00:12:33,773 --> 00:12:37,371
Well, dinner's almost ready. Can I
top up anybody's drink?
214
00:12:37,373 --> 00:12:39,451
Yes, please.
215
00:12:39,453 --> 00:12:43,733
Tell us, what crime against nature
will you be serving this evening.
216
00:12:44,733 --> 00:12:49,773
Well, that depends. Will you be
eating with or without your teeth?
217
00:12:54,253 --> 00:12:58,211
I liked you better when you were
trapped under the table leg.
218
00:12:58,213 --> 00:13:02,171
Will you stop bringing that up?
It was humiliating enough.
219
00:13:02,173 --> 00:13:05,413
Not as humiliating as your swan dive
on to the floor.
220
00:13:06,933 --> 00:13:09,653
It was like Tom Daley had suddenly
aged 100 years.
221
00:13:11,973 --> 00:13:16,611
How would you like it if I said
something that would upset you?
222
00:13:16,613 --> 00:13:18,651
What on earth are you babbling
about?
223
00:13:18,653 --> 00:13:21,091
Something that I wasn't supposed to
mention
224
00:13:21,093 --> 00:13:23,133
with my bizarrely tiny mouth.
225
00:13:24,373 --> 00:13:26,371
You wouldn't dare.
226
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:29,251
Freddie's scared he's never going to
work again.
227
00:13:29,253 --> 00:13:31,091
How does that feel?
228
00:13:31,093 --> 00:13:34,291
I never said such a thing and
you swore you wouldn't mention it.
229
00:13:34,293 --> 00:13:36,931
He only earned ะ300 last month.
230
00:13:36,933 --> 00:13:41,171
That was a cheque for a cigarette
commercial he did 47 years ago.
231
00:13:41,173 --> 00:13:45,451
I'm proud of that commercial. I got
a lot of people to start smoking.
232
00:13:45,453 --> 00:13:47,811
I'm getting really uncomfortable,
Ash.
233
00:13:47,813 --> 00:13:51,611
It's OK. They're always like this.
Well, it makes me uncomfortable.
234
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,371
It shouldn't.
235
00:13:53,373 --> 00:13:55,493
Are you telling me how I should
feel?
236
00:13:56,933 --> 00:13:59,051
No.
237
00:13:59,053 --> 00:14:02,851
And I kind of wish you wouldn't put
words in my mouth.
238
00:14:02,853 --> 00:14:05,293
Everything all right?
239
00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:08,971
Yes, fine.
240
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,931
Do you know what? I think I will
have that drink.
241
00:14:11,933 --> 00:14:16,493
Ah. Now the evening's picking up.
242
00:14:19,766 --> 00:14:23,046
And thank you again
for the homemade candle, dear.
243
00:14:24,006 --> 00:14:27,644
We so prefer it to the traditional
gift of a bottle of wine.
244
00:14:27,646 --> 00:14:30,084
Why haven't you eaten anything, dear?
245
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:33,206
I'm a vegan.
Yes. That's why I made chicken.
246
00:14:34,686 --> 00:14:36,646
She doesn't eat any meat.
247
00:14:37,606 --> 00:14:38,724
Or dairy.
248
00:14:38,726 --> 00:14:42,364
It's really getting to be quite a...
Quite what?
249
00:14:42,366 --> 00:14:44,846
Quite...
250
00:14:45,806 --> 00:14:47,564
adorable.
251
00:14:47,566 --> 00:14:51,646
Oh, because it sounded as
if you were about to say annoying.
252
00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:55,044
Can I have another drink?
253
00:14:55,046 --> 00:14:57,766
Why don't you just keep it by you,
dear?
254
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:02,084
Would you like any pills to go
with that?
255
00:15:02,086 --> 00:15:06,404
Maybe you've had enough to drink.
256
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,524
I'm just trying to have a good time.
257
00:15:09,526 --> 00:15:11,844
Why don't you have some of the salad,
dear?
258
00:15:11,846 --> 00:15:14,124
It only has a little bacon in it.
259
00:15:14,126 --> 00:15:17,844
I can't eat bacon.
260
00:15:17,846 --> 00:15:20,164
Not even the edges?
261
00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:23,126
Oh, just eat it, for Christ's sake.
262
00:15:24,206 --> 00:15:27,044
Hello.
Freddie, is that you?
263
00:15:27,046 --> 00:15:31,724
Oh, hello, Vi... It's Violet. Oh,
you remember our friend, Violet? Hi.
264
00:15:31,726 --> 00:15:35,126
Everything all right over there?
Not terrific, to be honest.
265
00:15:38,006 --> 00:15:39,886
I'm afraid I'm in a bit of a pickle.
266
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:45,684
I only wish this were a better time
to talk.
267
00:15:45,686 --> 00:15:49,406
I'll make it quick then. Ignasio was
being a little... erm...
268
00:15:50,686 --> 00:15:52,966
romantic earlier...
269
00:15:53,566 --> 00:15:55,526
and handcuffed me to the bed post.
270
00:15:56,286 --> 00:15:58,724
But now he seems to have stepped out
for a while.
271
00:15:58,726 --> 00:16:02,684
I think he might have accidentally
taken my wallet and passport.
272
00:16:02,686 --> 00:16:05,166
And... erm... also the key to the
handcuffs.
273
00:16:06,886 --> 00:16:09,364
And I'm not sure
if he's coming back.
274
00:16:09,366 --> 00:16:11,844
That wasn't quick.
275
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:15,364
I think I'm going to need you to
contact the Embassy, Freddie.
276
00:16:15,366 --> 00:16:18,446
Yes, of course. Just as soon as
we've finished dinner.
277
00:16:20,846 --> 00:16:22,686
Everything all right.
Yes, fine.
278
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:26,244
It's empty.
279
00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:28,726
Too bad you can't drink a candle.
280
00:16:32,646 --> 00:16:35,246
Perhaps that's why guests usually
bring wine.
281
00:16:36,966 --> 00:16:39,684
I'm really enjoying the salad,
Stuart.
282
00:16:39,686 --> 00:16:42,204
Everything's great, isn't it, Chloe?
283
00:16:42,206 --> 00:16:44,404
I wouldn't know because I can't eat
anything.
284
00:16:44,406 --> 00:16:47,606
Here. It's bread.
285
00:16:50,086 --> 00:16:52,726
Erm... actually, that's sausage bread,
dear.
286
00:16:56,846 --> 00:16:59,884
I'd like to go, Ash.
We can't go. It would be rude.
287
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:02,566
I don't think it's possible to be
rude here.
288
00:17:03,646 --> 00:17:06,924
My glass is empty, Stuart. Why is
that?
289
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:09,486
I don't know. I'm not a waiter.
290
00:17:10,766 --> 00:17:12,726
You're not?
291
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:17,524
Because you were one when I met you.
292
00:17:17,526 --> 00:17:19,606
Watch it, Freddie!
293
00:17:21,046 --> 00:17:25,324
I'm warning you. You shouldn't be
drinking. I like it.
294
00:17:25,326 --> 00:17:28,724
It's the only thing that makes your
voice less grating.
295
00:17:28,726 --> 00:17:31,286
Oh, I hate Stuart's voice too.
296
00:17:36,486 --> 00:17:38,326
Your candle smells like shit.
297
00:17:40,526 --> 00:17:43,164
Actually, I think that's Balthazar.
298
00:17:43,166 --> 00:17:47,684
I only make those stupid candles to
get away from you.
299
00:17:47,686 --> 00:17:50,886
You're a needy, suffocating,
little man-boy.
300
00:17:51,486 --> 00:17:53,046
And you're drunk.
301
00:17:54,486 --> 00:17:56,686
Oh, now she's interesting.
302
00:17:57,766 --> 00:17:59,884
I don't like the way you are when
you drink.
303
00:17:59,886 --> 00:18:04,446
It's ugly. You remind me of my
mother before she went to prison.
304
00:18:05,566 --> 00:18:09,204
Didn't you also tell us that your
father was in prison?
305
00:18:09,206 --> 00:18:12,644
This might be why you're waking up
screaming every night.
306
00:18:12,646 --> 00:18:18,044
I'm sick of behaving how you want me
to behave, you pathetic twat.
307
00:18:18,046 --> 00:18:21,044
I only want you to behave like a
human being.
308
00:18:21,046 --> 00:18:23,006
Not a drunken slag!
309
00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:27,726
Do you hear how they talk to each
other?
310
00:18:31,326 --> 00:18:33,406
Kill me if that's ever us.
311
00:18:35,006 --> 00:18:38,684
Why are you hanging out with these
men?
312
00:18:38,686 --> 00:18:41,084
They're awful. It's a house of
horrors.
313
00:18:41,086 --> 00:18:43,046
What men?
314
00:18:44,246 --> 00:18:46,284
Could she be talking about us?
315
00:18:46,286 --> 00:18:48,644
Don't say that about my friends.
316
00:18:48,646 --> 00:18:51,284
Your friends? You're 22.
317
00:18:51,286 --> 00:18:54,884
So what?
I thought he was 35.
318
00:18:54,886 --> 00:18:58,284
They've been horrible all night. Why
do you even spend time with them?
319
00:18:58,286 --> 00:19:01,686
Because I enjoy their company
unlike yours.
320
00:19:03,366 --> 00:19:05,884
You prefer their company to mine.
321
00:19:05,886 --> 00:19:09,084
These two. The two of them.
322
00:19:09,086 --> 00:19:11,286
Yes, she's definitely talking about
us.
323
00:19:12,686 --> 00:19:14,844
I'm going to be somebody, Ash.
324
00:19:14,846 --> 00:19:18,764
I'm gonna make soap and candles and
cupcakes and handbags
325
00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:21,044
and open a shop one day and sell
them all.
326
00:19:21,046 --> 00:19:24,286
It sounds like it's going to be a
very confusing shop.
327
00:19:25,726 --> 00:19:29,524
You just want me to support you but
you don't support me.
328
00:19:29,526 --> 00:19:32,404
You don't even know what it is you
want to do!
329
00:19:32,406 --> 00:19:35,084
That's because I haven't figured it
out yet!!
330
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:40,164
I can be anything I want.
Right, Freddie? Of course you can.
331
00:19:40,166 --> 00:19:44,324
Are you serious? You're really gonna
listen to this washed-up actor
332
00:19:44,326 --> 00:19:46,284
that no-one's ever even heard of?
333
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:49,046
All right. That is quite enough.
334
00:19:49,806 --> 00:19:53,604
I'll have you know that Freddie
Thornhill has worked
335
00:19:53,606 --> 00:19:58,444
on the stage, screen and television
for over 50 years.
336
00:19:58,446 --> 00:20:01,644
He has had an extraordinary career.
337
00:20:01,646 --> 00:20:04,724
So what if he has hit a bit of a dry
spell?
338
00:20:04,726 --> 00:20:08,364
He is by no means washed up and
never will be.
339
00:20:08,366 --> 00:20:12,364
So do not presume to tell us
anything about our lives, young lady.
340
00:20:12,366 --> 00:20:15,404
We will not be talked down to in our
own home.
341
00:20:15,406 --> 00:20:20,324
We are accomplished men.
Quite capable of anything.
342
00:20:20,326 --> 00:20:22,006
Should I show them out?
Please.
343
00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,726
I think I'm stuck again.
344
00:20:28,726 --> 00:20:31,926
Not one of our better dinner
parties, I'm afraid.
345
00:20:33,206 --> 00:20:36,284
Poor Ash. Well, he wanted to be
straight.
346
00:20:36,286 --> 00:20:38,006
That's what he gets.
347
00:20:39,286 --> 00:20:42,444
Hello. Hello, Violet.
348
00:20:42,446 --> 00:20:44,446
Oh, bugger!
349
00:20:44,806 --> 00:20:47,324
Oh, Stuart darling. Thank God.
350
00:20:47,326 --> 00:20:50,724
The police finally came and freed me
from the handcuffs.
351
00:20:50,726 --> 00:20:53,364
What are you talking about?
352
00:20:53,366 --> 00:20:57,284
Didn't Freddie tell you? Didn't
Freddie tell me? Oh, yes.
353
00:20:57,286 --> 00:21:00,644
Yes. Yes. Of course. Yes, I forgot.
354
00:21:00,646 --> 00:21:03,764
They found my passport but in order
to get it back,
355
00:21:03,766 --> 00:21:05,766
I'm going to have to pay a bribe.
356
00:21:07,086 --> 00:21:10,566
So I need you to transfer...
Hold on, dear. We have another call.
357
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:16,486
Hello? Yes, he's right here.
358
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,206
It's your agent.
359
00:21:24,046 --> 00:21:26,166
Jeremy, it's rather late to be
calling.
360
00:21:27,566 --> 00:21:29,526
A job. Yes, I think I'm available.
361
00:21:32,926 --> 00:21:37,804
Oh, they say my Downton Abbey where
I dropped the potatoes, did they?
362
00:21:37,806 --> 00:21:40,684
All right. Thank you.
363
00:21:40,686 --> 00:21:42,324
Well?
364
00:21:42,326 --> 00:21:45,406
I've been offered a part on Call The
Midwife.
365
00:21:48,046 --> 00:21:53,044
I'm going to be playing a man who
delivers his granddaughter's
Siamese twins.
366
00:21:53,046 --> 00:21:55,006
Oh, wonderful!
367
00:21:57,126 --> 00:21:59,086
No, don't answer that.
368
00:22:01,906 --> 00:22:30,200
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