All language subtitles for The American Society of Magical Negroes (2024) iTA-ENG.Bluray.1080p.x264-Dr4gon_track6_[eng]

[chattering]

[high-pitched ringing]

[chattering fades]

[footsteps approaching]

- Sorry. Excuse me.
-[chattering resumes]

[upbeat music playing on speakers]

Excuse me. Sorry about that.

Oops. Sorry. [chuckles]

It's-- No. Sorry.

That's my bad.

Hey, guys. I'm just gonna
squeeze past you here. Sorry.

Hi.

Hmm.

Hi.

Is that yarn?

Yes. Yeah.

[collector] Huh.

-[collector 2] ls it...
-It's...

-[collector 2] ls it yarn?
-It's ya-- Yeah, it's yarn.

Thank you so much
for coming.

Slow night.

Yeah.

You know,
I don't really need anyone to buy my art.

It would just be nice
if someone understood it.

- May I offer you another perspective?
-Sure.

I do need people to buy your art.

I'm sorry.

There's one collector left.

Go talk to him.

You know, maybe my work is stronger
if I let it speak for itself.

- Go!
-Sure thing.

Uh, excuse me.

- Oh, thank you.
-Hi.

Actually, no--

Sorry, I'm not the--

[curator] Aren.

Does the last collector here
think you're a waiter?

Okay.
I'm canceling your solo show next month.

No, no. I already bought the materials.

' -Shoot!

I spent $3,000 on yarn.

[curator] That may be,
but if you can't stick up for your work,

I can't do it for you.

[keypad beeping]

[beeps]

[Sighs]

[card ejects]

[sighs]

[beeping]

Can you-- Can you help me?

The machine is being a dick. [chuckles]

Urn...

Yeah, okay. Sure.

What do you need?

Can you get cash for me?

- My PIN is 310--
-No, you shouldn't tell me your PIN.

555-0164.

Actually,
I think that might be a phone number.

Hold on.

Where-- Where's my card?

It's in the machine.

Oh, my God.

Where's my card?

Brad.

Someone stole my debit card.

-It's still in the ATM.
-Help!

No, no, no. Dude!

No! Dude!

You have headshots in the morning!

He just stole her purse, man!

[friend] Look. She's got her purse.

[Brad] But it was right there.

I'm sorry to bother y'all, but...

did one of y'all lose a earring?

Oh, my God. Yes.

I saw it on my way over
to meet my friend here.

And lemme just say I know it ain't his.

[drunk person] Oh, my God. Thank you.

I would've been wearing one earring
like a freaking pirate.

Iaughs]

By any chance,
are you all going to get some food?

Yeah.

There's a barbecue spot
that just opened on La Brea.

My cousin runs it.

They got a killer review
in the LA Weekly.

But I don't know anything about that.

All I know is they pull pork
just like my grandma used to.

I love pork.

You tell 'em Roger sent you,
and they'll bring out the good stuff.

[friend] Thanks, man.

[Brad] Hey, uh...

No hard feelings, man.

[Aren] Yeah, no. Yep.

-[exhales]
-You good?

Yeah, I-- I could've sworn
that I had her bag.

Let's get off the street.

You know,
these white folks looking at you crazy.

- That doesn't bother you?
-[Aren] It's no big deal.

-[Roger] It's a goddamn menace.
-lt's annoying.

People looking at me like I'm...

whatever exactly they think that I am,

but, you know,
it's not like it happens every day.

So you saying people don't look at you
like that every day?

Well, that happens every day,
you know, if I go outside or whatever.

But it doesn't escalate every day
is what I'm saying.

Is that so?

I'm not living in fear.

I mean, is there fear? Yeah.

Am I living in it?

- No?
-What?

You were just explaining
how none of this affects you.

I just, uh, try
not to think about it, I guess.

Look, I don't wanna waste your time, Aren,
but I saw you at the gallery.

Right! Yeah, you were at the bar.

And I followed you
because I think you're very talented.

My Work?

You mean the yarn thing?
No, that didn't make no kind of sense.

But you? You I get.

And I wanna take you to a job interview.

Oh, no.
I don't know anything about bartending.

Second job. You need money, right?

I need a yarn store
to change its return policy. [chuckles]

- Can it do that?
-Yeah.

- What?
-I mean, it pays good.

What is it exactly?

Officially, it's a client services firm.

But unofficially,
we saving the damn world.

I don't really understand.

It's easier to show you. Here.

- Now?
-Yeah.

- Okay.
-You got any medical conditions?

- Heart disease? Eczema?
-What? No. Why would that--

What?

- This way.
-Where are we?

Did-- Did I just black out?

I moved us a little.

You move-- What?

Hey, yo, wait, wait!

Hey, Roger!

[sports commentating on radio]

How y'all doing?

The hell is going on?

Now, I'm probably supposed to
start slower with all of this,

but there's a recruiting class
starting right now,

and we gotta get you in it.

Recruiting for what?

Welcome to
the American Society of Magical Negroes.

Over the next few days,
we'll introduce you to our work

and determine if
any of you are fit for membership.

Now, since every education starts
with the classics,

let's take a look at some of
our most accomplished predecessors.

James Crampton, Savannah, 1923.

Watch his approach to the work.

[fingers snap]

[device whirring]

[old jazz music playing on device]

[exhales]

Well, that's a peculiar shot, suh.

Where'd you come from?

Oh, I was just passin' through, suh.

Or should I say, "Mr. Avery"?

Hey! How'd you know my name?

Well, everybody in the state of Georgia
who likes billiards

knows Beauregard Avery.

Is it true that you once
snapped your cue on the break,

then ran the table
with one of the splinters?

[Ave ry]
I he ven '1' played since, uh, the war.

You done lost your stroke.

- Excuse me?
-Your billiard stroke, suh.

You know, they say a man's grip on his cue
is like his grip on life.

Lemme see how you holding it.

Now, see, you thinkin' about
whether you're gonna miss.

Maybe you missed a little bit
in your life.

But you can't think on that now.

Now, you gots to just close your eyes...

and get your stroke back.

[chuckles]

Not bad, Mr. Avery.

Not bad.

Now, obviously, you'll be using
a more contemporary dialect

and a lot of other innovations we've made
since Jim's time.

But he was a master of the fundamentals.

So, what did you notice
about Jim's approach to the work?

He doesn't make it about himself.

It's always about the client.

Client service first.

What else?

He's really friendly.

That's crucial.

-[recruiter] Anything else?
-He's wearing suspenders.

Okay.

Let's take a look at another one.

Marcus Dunham, 1955.

[person in projection] Dead man walking!

This isn't right, Marcus.

Well, boss, it ain't about
the life leaving this world.

It's about the life coming into it.

What do you mean?

I know that you and the missus
been having trouble making life.

I'm just barely scraping by in this job.
It's hard to go home and feel like a man.

Now, you listen here, boss.

Who snuck me that harmonica
so I could speak my soul 'fore I go?

- I did, but--
- That took courage.

That was done by a man.

So when Mrs. Bossman
look at you tonight,

know that she lookin´' at
the greatest man in Kennebec County.

[gasps]

[breathes shakily]

[harmonica playing]

[recruiter] What about this one?

Anybody else?

The spiritual was a nice touch.

[recruiter] Perceived authenticity.

Your interests and hobbies
have to be authentically Black,

as understood by the culture.

We're showing the client

the parts of ourselves
that make them feel good.

And nothing more.

-[water splashes]
-[grunts]

[object scratches]

Nope. Nope. Mm-mmm.

Uh...

Mm-mmm.

No, I'm sorry.
You can't conjure yourself a steak dinner.

Magic only works
in the service of clients.

So if he's dieting, you're dieting.

[assistant] Right. If she knows that much,
you'll have to do a memory spell.

[assistant 2] Mind if I take control
of your powers remotely?

Anything medical requires physical touch.

[chuckles] Even if he's sweaty, yes.

No, that's me controlling your powers.

-[customer] This is nice. Yeah.
-[tailor] I like it.

-[scissors snipping]
-[customer] Not too tight?

[tailor] Not too tight, no.

'Cause it's got to be nostalgic,
but it can't be too sharecropper.

Oh, no. Of course not.

We're not doing Roofs.

How goes?

It's-- It's really interesting.

It's, um-- You know, the name
needs a little updating.

Maybe, like, "Magical Black People" or--

I guess that doesn't have the same ring,
but, uh--

What are you trying to say?

I'm not sure this is for me.

It really has nothing to do with you,

and-- and I'm sure the work
makes a ton of sense for you guys.

lt just seems like, you know,
for my personal taste, it's a little, um--

Please take me home.

You ain't going home.

{insects buzzing]
-[birds chirping]

Holy shit.

It's bigger than you.

We've been around since before this was--

ls this...

Monticello.

What?

Yeah. Secret wing.

Okay.

The truth is, Aren...

I'm in Virginia?

You've got talent.

- Sorry, the building is gone.
-Yeah.

And talent like yours can do more
to help Black people

than a hundred marches.

L-low?

It's easier if I show you.

No, no, no. Last time you said that--

[groans]

Aren, what's the most dangerous animal
on the planet?

- Sharks. Oh.
-White people.

When are white people most dangerous?

- When they're teamed up with sharks?
-When they feel uncomfortable.

Okay. Were sharks a part of it or...

White people feeling uncomfortable
precedes a lot of bad stuff for us.

White people move into a neighborhood,
they feel uncomfortable, gentrification.

- Okay.
-White cop sees a Black man,

feels uncomfortable, another shooting.

Was a time when all you had to do
was look at a white man

and make him uncomfortable.

- That was pretty much it for you.
-Yeah, I get that.

For some of us,
the last thing we see in this world

is an uncomfortable white man,

but I don't blame white people for that.

I blame their discomfort.

That's why we here

at the American Society
of Magical Negroes fight white discomfort

every damn day.

We are the vanguard
of white relaxation.

Black knights making sure
that they don't take it out on a brother.

Because the happier they are,
the safer we are.

Wow.

[dissonant hum]

You see that cop over there?

Far as we know, he may be the next one
to shoot an unarmed Black man.

- Him?
-I didn't bring you here for sharks, Aren.

I brought you here for this.

[recruiter] We are constantly
monitoring the happiness

of every white person in America,

and when one gets too unhappy...

they become a client.

[Roger] Excuse me, Officer?

[recruiter]
Bu! the y won´t '1' know they're a client.

So you'll use a White Tears Meter
to get a reading of their distress levels,

and it will also let you know
when their distress

has returned to
acceptable white person levels.

[sighs]

I looked in the mirror this morning.

I swear to God, I look more like my father
than I look like myself.

Well, it's like my grandmama
always used to tell me.

"There's only two fighters you can't beat,
Joe Louis and Father Time."

I just want to know I still have it,
you know?

We're thinking
about going to a club tonight.

Like from music videos?

Really exclusive.

He and I can get in.

I mean, if you can,
maybe you're not as far gone as you think.

I want to do that.

-[chattering]
-[hip hop music playing, muffled]

Look, Aren, this is a one-night job.

Nice, easy client like we use
in trainings or on holiday.

But don't let that fool you.

Black lives are depending on this.

Look, Roger.

For me, I don't think
that keeping white people happy

is as big a deal as you're saying it is.

Oh, yeah? Why are you so nice?

Because I'm friendly.

Because white people will kill you.

Okay. [scoffs]

And I think you recognize this
in some way,

and now you're trying
to get out in front of it.

Roger, if I were hyperaware
of white people, I would know.

- Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.

You remember that white guy
that just passed us?

- Yeah.
-You're blocking his way.

I'm so sorry. I--

That's not nice.

Let's try a little experiment.

I want you to walk in that crowd.

Why?

Well, it shouldn't be a big deal to you,
since you so good with white people.

My mom's white.
I grew up with white people.

And I'm sure that didn't
mess you up at all.

So I don't need to go.

You scared?

- No.
-Then go.

-L-- I don't wanna go.
-You scared.

Okay, you know, fine. I'll go.

- For you.
-Thank you.

[high-pitched ringing]

[chattering fades]

I know you can feel
their discomfort, Aren.

It's the loudest thing
in every room you walk into.

Probably has been your whole life.

What did you do
to make them look at you that way?

And what are they going to
do to you next?

White discomfort is your nemesis, Aren.

Stop running from it
and start listening to it.

Hey, he)'-

What's up, fellas?

Oh, man.

This place looks awesome.

There's no way I'm getting in.
Have you seen me?

[smacks lips] Just give it a shot.

[officer] It's not happening.

I was stupid to even come here.

[shouts] Stupid. What was I thinking?

God, this is the outfit that I pick.
I'm like, "I'm gonna go to the club.

Let's get my club outfit
out of the closet."

- I bought new shoes for this...
-Don't look at me, Aren.

Look at him.

Only him.

-[indistinct dialogue]
-[Roger] Put everything out of your mind

and focus on his pale-ass feelings.

[recruiter] As a member of the Society,

there's no more making sure
your hands are visible just in case,

or wondering if they're gonna
call the cops on you

for doing totally normal things.

Now you'll know.

You'll know exactly
how distressed they are

and how to soothe them,

so you won't have to be afraid.

-[magic dings]
-[whooshing]

[dissonant humming]

I see him.

[Roger] Then go and comfort him.

[magic dings]

They call me a pencil-pushing nerd.

H9)'-

Rules are important.

Listen.

It doesn't matter how they look at you.

It matters how you look at you.

Yeah.

You're right.

Hey, can we get in?

[magic whooshes]

Actually, yeah.

[chuckles] Yes!

Guys, thank you.

Now, let's do this!

What did I just do?

You made your world a safer place.

- I want to do that again.
-It's your job.

[murmuring]

Ladies and gentlemen,

the president of the American Society
of Magical Negroes, Dede Booker.

[applause]

[applause stops]

[magic whooshes]

Do we seem like gods to you, Aren?

Uh...

Flattering, but untruthful.

In reality, we are only as mighty
as we are united.

You see, Aren, our powers are collective.

If any member uses magic selfishly,
fails to put their client first,

all our powers fail.

And we cannot fail.

Every year of our existence,

the life expectancy
of Black Americans has risen,

and members of our society
live five years past that,

which brings us on par with...

white non-smokers.

And the privilege and responsibility
was upheld

by Rosie the Riveter's nanny

and Crispus Attucks.

He really took one for the team.

And we can't forget Nancy Green
and her trademark syrup

that funds our work today.

So, understanding this noble burden,

will you join?

Yes.

Well, I officially welcome you

to the American Society
of Magical Negroes.

[groans, chuckles]

[timepiece ringing]

- You ready?
- Oh, wow.

Urn...

Yeah.

["L Diddle" playing]

S“ Ah didi uke ake uke ake blizzard´es

♪ It means think what you want a'

♪ But you better not say it S'

- Thanks.
-Thank you.

♪ Um didi hoop didi hoop didi hoop
Didi hoo hoo... ♪

[ringing]

[ringing continues]

- Hello?
- Why aren '1' you here yet'?

Uh, yeah. I just, uh-- I needed a second.

I have to brief you on your first client.
Also, why am I looking at a table?

Okay, I'll be right in and we can talk.

I'm sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry.

- I wasn't looking and--
-It's fine.

- Sorry.
-Don't worry about it.

Can I buy you a new one?

Uh, yeah. Okay, sure.

- That's-- That's nice of you.
-Okay.

Oh, my God.
I was looking for coffee.

I was looking to make sure
that I didn't spill coffee on you.

And I realize that looked
like I was checking you out.

I was not checking you out.
I wouldn't do that.

Yeah, okay.

- I was not doing that. I promise.
-Okay...

That's--

I would. I would do that if it was, like--

You're beautiful, and I would--

In a checkout-appropriate situation,
I would do that.

Well, what would be a situation
where it's appropriate to check me out?

No. Like a-- Like a date or a...

betrothal or--
I don't know what I'm saying.

I was really just looking for coffee.

- It's okay.
-Thank you.

- Yeah.
-Sorry.

I don't-- I don't believe you.

- You don't believe me? Why?
-No. You just--

You just said
that you weren't checking me out,

and then you said I was pretty.

- How would you decide I was pretty--
-Yeah, no.

There's a difference between
noticing how someone looks

and, like, skeevily
looking them up and down.

- You know?
-Okay, thanks for letting me know.

And I didn't say that you were pretty.
I didn't say that.

You did.

- I just heard what you said. You just--
-No, I said that you were beautiful.

Okay.

- Okay?
-Yeah. No, I--

Okay, I believe you.

- Yeah?
-Yeah.

It's a very nice thing to do.

Not check you out?

No, check me for coffee stains. That's--

That's a very sweet thing to do.

Well, I'm very nice. It's, like, a flaw.

Yeah?

Yeah, says who?

Thanks. I didn't even check myself yet.
Am I good?

- Hmm?
-Am I coffee-free?

Oh, I don't know.
I was just looking at that ass.

Wow.

- Terrible. [laughing]
-Yeah, you like that?

I'm sorry.

- Uh--
-[timepiece ringing]

Uh...

I'm so-- I have to go. I'm so sorry.

-I'm-- I'm--
-C)h.

Sorry.

[Roger]
Your first client is a Jason Mundt.

You'll be working with him
in graphic design,

where we felt your background
in yarn and shit will come in handy.

Jason works at MeetBox,

the most influential social media platform
in the world.

Millions of white people
see his designs every day

as they post and like
and do whatever else they do on there.

You will be e deokhand'.
That's one le ve/ below e boats Wain.

Come again?

Spelled "boat swain."

Yeah, but are we at sea?

Well, they felt normal job titles
were a bit too corporate.

Okay.

His meter jumped
dangerously high Tuesday, 4pm.

He was so upset we considered sending
in a team of Rapid Response Negroes,

but they were all my age

and really didn't understand
what MeetBox did.

So his morale is still far too low.

Your job is to figure out what caused
the jump and identify what he wants.

[manager] There's a lot of research
that if you spend less time working,

you're actually more productive.

And that is why we've got snacks,
we've got games,

-we've got cots if you want to take a nap.
-That's great.

Yeah, we also have a laundry service,
we've got a car wash.

You know,
basically you could just sleep here.

Do a lot of people sleep here?

- You keep saying that--
-Oh, no, no, no.

- Okay, cool.
-No.

Although, I could use a nap.

[laughing] I'm fine.

-[chuckles]
-This is Jason.

You're gonna work together a lot.

.Hey-
.Hey-

Oh, darn it.

Urn, I was hoping there was a station
right next to him, but there's not.

So why don't you come downstairs with me?

[magic whooshes]

- Oh, is this one spoken for?
-[manager] Hmm?

No.

Uh, why don't you just settle in?

Great.

Looks like we're neighbors.

Yeah, I-- I guess so.

[clears throat]

You like games?

-[Jason] Guard it. Guard your goal.
-[Aren] Okay.

- You better guard it.
-l'm trying.

I'm close. I'm close!

-[magic whooshes]
-[Jason] Oh!

Okay.

- Damn.
-Yes!

This streak is real!

- Got me again.
-Three in a row.

- Whoo.
-You practice this, don't you?

Yeah, I got one of these at home.

- Lizzie.
-Hi--

Hey.

Hey.

L-- I, uh--

I just started working here.

That's cool. Oh, my God.

L-- I've worked here for a while.

- That makes sense...
-Yeah.

...why you're here, and I'm--

You guys know each other?

- No, we just met.
-No, like, we--

- Sorry. No. Please.
-l'm sorry. You go ahead.

- Uh, I'm Aren, by the way.
-l'm Lizzie.

- Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

Urn, did you get my notes?

No, no. I had to go to
this, like, HR training and--

That's fine,
but we should get it done tonight

'cause then Masterson
might actually go home.

Which, at this point,
is kind of a human rights thing.

[Jason] Right. Yeah, no.

No, yeah. I'll get it.

Thank you.

- Nice to meet you officially.
-Yeah, nice to meet you.

-l'll see you around.
- See you.

So, uh, what's her story?

Lizzie? She's kind of my work wife.

-[sighs]
-[dissonant humming]

- You okay?
-I don't know, man.

[sighs]

I can't get this layout to work.

[Aren] Hmm.

What?

Your stroke is a little hesitant.

I'm sorry?

- Your keystroke, I mean.
-Oh.

Yeah, I don't know
what's going on. I just--

Something's off. Like, I--

You know, it's like the saying goes,

"A man's grip on his keyboard
is like his grip on life."

Who said that?

Rosa Parks.

Really? When was that--

My point is, if something's going off
somewhere else in your life,

it can show up in your work.

Hmm.

But then again, you're the boatswain.
What do I know?

No, you're right, man.
Something's definitely off. I just feel...

- Feel like what?
-. . .shaky.

- Mmm.
-Like I'm just not--

You know like when you're trying
to do something, but you lost your keys,

and you're like, "I'm trying to focus,
but where are my keys?

- Where are my keys?"
-I feel that.

So that is not me.

I always know where my keys are.
They're in a bowl by the door.

Okay.

He's a perfectly fine designer,
but convinced he's on the fast track.

Great. What else?

[Aren] He responds more
to '90s hip-hop slang than Uncle Remus.

What about his Want?

I mean, those are all great observations,
but we need to find out what he's missing.

Honestly, I'm not sure.

You know, best I could tell is that,
for some reason,

his meter jumped
when his last project launched.

Is he close to anyone at work?

He has a work wife.

So spend some time with her.

Get some intel.

With her?

Yeah-- Yeah, I can do that.

It's Lizzie, right?

Yeah.

[no audible dialogue]

[Aren] It's really good.

[Lizzie] It's a shambles. It's terrible.

I feel like if I squint,
I can totally see the Chrysler Building.

Oh.

It's supposed to be
the Empire State Building.

That's what I said,
the Empire State Building.

- That's not what you said.
-Yes, it is.

- No.
-You didn't hear me.

-[Lizzie] Wow.
-What?

- There.
-You added jumpers?

[laughs] No, no. They're like--

They're like a couple.

- You know, like in the movies?
-Oh.

That's really sweet.

-[Jason] Hey.
-[Aren] Hey.

Nice, Chrysler Building.

Hell yeah.

[clears throat] Masterson wants you.

Okay. Urn, just--

I'll see you, gents.

-[Aren] All right.
-Watch them for me.

You got it.

- Good luck.
-[Lizzie] See you, guys.

Yo, who took my tugboat?

Okay.

Wow.

She's great.

Yeah, she's cool.

You kidding? Come on, man.

She's-- She's smart and funny, and she's--

Have you seen her work?
She's a ridiculous designer.

She's like the best designer here.

Yeah, she's definitely the golden child.

[dissonant humming]

You know, they're actually saying that
about you too around the office.

I hear that all the time about
how amazing of a designer you are.

- Thanks, man.
-You guys are completely different.

You actually--
You work really well together.

- You think?
-Yeah.

It's like you have such talent,
she has such talent.

It's like a power couple.

Workwise, you know?

MeetBox is under fire
as new complaints emerge

its facial recognition technology
fails to identify Black people.

Critics say a lack of diversity
on the engineering team

may have contributed to the issue.

And with public pressure growing,
MeetBox founder Mick Morton

has promised sweeping internal changes.

-[chattering]
-[corporate hip-hop music music playing]

A“ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho S'

Ahoy. Ahoy. Ahoy-

When I dropped out of Harvard
to build MeetBox in my parents' garage,

I remember thinking,
"I hope they don't pull the car in."

[laughing]

I also remember thinking Meetbox
had to be a platform for everybody.

Now, in the next few days,

you're gonna hear the media claim
that we have failed at that.

You're gonna hear outlandish accusations.

"Mick's biased. Mick's a racist.

Mick hates the entire nation of Ghana."

But that's not me. It's not who we are.

We are the same company that,
last quarter alone,

partnered with 22 Black-owned vendors.

We are the same company that,
during the George Floyd protests,

suspended operations for 12 hours.

We are the same company
whose flagship office

has a world cuisine station
dedicated to the food of the Caribbean

and occasionally Africa.

It's diverse. It's different. It's yummy.

We like it.

That's who we are.

But to make it crystal clear who we are,

I am thrilled to announce
that in the next 30 days,

we are relaunching the MeetBox brand.

At a company-wide presentation,

our top design team
will pitch a MeetBox makeover.

We're gonna have a new logo, a new slogan

and a new commitment
to the exact same values that got us here.

He's incredible.

[cheering]

[Aren]
So that's Jason's Want, to be like Mick.

[Roger] Mick's a CEO.

That makes Jason a five-, ten-year client,
and those are different.

Less magic, more listening.

Yeah, it's actually fun
and weirdly relaxing.

It's like being a secret agent
with none of the danger.

So, uh, I actually had a question for you
about Jason's work wife.

Aren, just ask the girl out.

- Can I?
-We're not monks, Aren.

You're just scared to ask her.

I'm getting to it, all right?

When?

Tomorrow.

(laughs] Okay.

Dude.

- Thank you.
-You're welcome.

Seriously, man, it was like an epiphany.

I can't believe I didn't see it before.

I'm sorry. What are we talking about?

Lizzie.

- What?
-Don't play dumb, man.

I know what you were doing,
going on about her.

You were trying to set us up.

No, no, no. That's not what I was doing.

- I was--
-It's okay. It's cool.

I'm grateful because you got me thinking,
"Why haven't we gotten together?"

And then it hit me.

I'm into Lizzie.

Hey, man, you were, um--

you were pretty focused
on being like Mick.

I am.

You want both things?

I do. Isn't that cool?

Yeah.

Oh, clarity is dope, man.

Yeah, right.

He wants both things?

Yeah. Can he even do that?

Yes, but a Double Went is n02' ideal
for your 777's! client'.

Okay, great.
Well, then I'm just gonna focus on work

and let him deal with his love life.

The company's about to do
this big rebrand, and so I feel like--

No. You're going to concentrate
on both things at once.

And, Aren,
I hope I don't have to tell you this,

but you cannot have
a romantic relationship with Lizzie now.

Is that going to be a problem?

Because if you don't put Jason first,
everyone's magic will fail.

I was hoping that was like
a team building thing.

We're all in this together now.

So you have to set up Lizzie and Jason,

and I have to drive around
this crotchety old white lady.

Oh. Lizzie texted me.

What should I say?

Let's start with what she said.

Okay. She said,
"Can I get that timeline, please?"

What do you think it means?

Hey. You two talking about me?

- Hey.
-What's up? He)'-

Oh, my-- Wait, are you?

Yeah, actually.

We were wondering if you wanted to get
a drink with us after work.

- Yeah. Yeah.
-Right?

Oh.

Okay, yeah, that sounds great.

Urn, as long as Jason
gets me that timeline.

Yeah, it's chill.

Okay, great.
Let me know about drinks.

[Aren] All right.

[gasps]

- Thank you.
-Yeah. You're welcome.

- Geez.
-l'll just, uh--

I'll make up an excuse last minute,
and then you guys are all set.

What? No, no, no.

You-- You're coming.

- Why?
-Did you just see me?

"It's chill"?

- Okay. All right.
-l've never said "chill."

Okay, fine. I'll come for one drink.
All right?

Should I send the timeline?

- Yeah. Send it now.
-Send it?

You should probably send it now.

[Aren]
So Jason and I worked on it for a week--

And then Masterson, uh, fell asleep
right in front of me.

- Oh, my God.
-[Jason chuckles]

That's pretty funny.
Your stories are getting better.

- It was good, right?
-[Lizzie] Yeah, it's good.

-I'm getting funnier.
-[Lizzie] You're making my job easier.

- Maybe. [laughs]
-Yeah.

- Should we do another round? One more?
-[Aren] Yeah.

- Yeah, let's do it.
-Yeah? Okay.

- No. I got it.
-You got it?

- Yeah, no worries.
-Thank you.

[Jason] Oh, did I tell you...

[anchor] ln other news,

the fallout from MeetBox's
facial recognition scandal continues.

Can I get another one?

The technology required
to access the platform

has prevented the entire nation of Ghana
from logging on for several days.

Well, on the one hand, it's been great
for my productivity at work,

but on the other hand,
it was quite racist.

[anchor] The growing outcry made its Wa y
to social media

where the hashtag "GhanaGate"
has been trending on...

I'm so sick of this,
this whole facial recognition thing.

God, I know. It was a mistake.

Oh, no. I meant, like,
I'm just so sick of thinking about

how we all work for these people
who are responsible.

So, what? So everybody
who was on that team is a bad person?

- I didn't say that.
-[dissonant humming]

Wait, did you--
Was that your last project?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

And we were doing our best, you know?

L-- I'm sorry.
I forgot that you were on that.

NO, it's--

- I don't care.
-I was just blowing off steam about--

People are really sensitive right now,
you know, it's a hot-button issue.

That's what I was commenting on.

- Right.
-You're not a bad person.

- Not at all.
-Right. Right. Yeah, no.

- Sorry.
-[Jason] No, it's fine. It's fine.

But, yeah, thank you.

You're good.

And look, I mean, would it have helped
to have people of color on the team?

Maybe. Yeah.

But it was a really competitive project,
and no people like you made it,

so I don't know what they want me to do.

I think, uh, you shouldn't
beat yourself up over it.

- Yeah. Exactly.
-That's the main thing.

Yeah.

Right. And I'm not.

Like, I thought about it
for a few minutes.

I'm moving on.

'Cause you cannot slow down
and listen to the haters and--

[Sighs]

[sighs]

Shit.

What?

No, I should've said something.

You did.

You said exactly what I was thinking
about the whole scandal.

Yeah, and then Jason got all guilty,
and I just, like, completely bailed.

I'm so stupid.

No, don't. lt's-- lt's--

You were trying to make him
feel better, you know?

We both were.

Yeah, well, now I feel worse.
I mean, don't you?

It's okay to pick your battles.

That's the thing.
I feel like I'm not really picking.

Kind of just-- It feels like this reflex.

Okay, that doesn't make sense.

No, actually, that makes perfect sense.
It's like when--

when someone sneezes, how you say
"bless you" without even thinking.

Only then you look up afterwards,
and you're like,

"What did I-- What did I just bless?"

Yeah.

- Right?
-Yeah.

I don't know.
It's one thing to not stand up for myself,

but then when I look over and I see
that you're uncomfortable too,

it's just--

[smacks lips]

I should have said something.

Thank you for saying that.
That's-- That's really--

That's really nice.

I don't have a lot of people
that stick up for me, so...

Well, I didn't stick up for you.
I just thought about it.

[chuckles]

Lizzie pulled me aside this morning,

and was rehashing
our conversation at the bar,

and apparently, I upset her?

- Wait, what?
-I know.

But you weren't upset, right?

- No, no.
-Good.

- Wow.
-Right?

'Cause I obviously care very deeply
about this stuff,

and I take it really seriously,

but, honestly, I didn't even know
she was, like, ethnic at first.

So, like, don't come at me when you're--

you're me.

You know?

You gonna serve?

Uh, yeah. Sorry.

[clears throat]

Urn,

-are you and Lizzie good though?
-Oh, yeah.

She was basically flirting with me
by the end of it.

- Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.

She does this thing where
she, like, touches my arm and--

Easy-
Sorry-

It's, uh-- You got any more balls for--

- Yeah, I got one.
-Okay.

[recruiter] Our society began
as an informal commitment

amongst Monticello slaves
to help each other avoid harsh punishment.

Now that I can see
white discomfort everywhere,

I'm starting to realize all of this stuff
that it does to me.

Like, I apologize all the time.

You really should hear this.

Oh, sorry.

See?

And you were so right about how
I've been aware of this my whole life.

Like, I was never really able
to explain my sculpture before,

but I think it's about-- Roger?

[exhales]

[Aren] R-Roger?

Am I making sense?

You haven't been making sense
for quite some time.

Sorry.

Lizzie, your-- your work on the logo
has been just-- just great.

Aw. I mean, it was a team effort. I--

Well, I know that you did
all the heavy lifting, so...

- I do.
-Thank you.

Yeah.

Aw.

I just want you to know how great you are.

- Thank you. Thank you.
-Yeah. It's just, um--

Our team is gonna be pitching
the logo to Mick himself,

and I'm gonna ask--

I'm gonna ask Jason to do it.

But it's-- I'm sorry.
That's my design though.

No-- I know.

Jason's just better in a room, and--
He's great in a room.

- Is he?
-He's so charismatic and--

- He's loud and he's--
-Well, it's a loud company, Lizzie.

Sorry. I just feel like I've been--

I've been asking you
for something like this for a long time,

and we-- we talked
about this in my review.

This particular design means a lotto me--

Okay, well,
I'm up for Rear Admiral this year.

No, Lizzie, Rear Admiral.

Okay, yeah.

We should just really
support each other right now.

- Yeah.
-I heard about that.

That's great.

It's a big presentation,

and Jason's just a better fit
for this audience.

- You'll be fine.
-No, that's okay. Um--

[phone chiming]

Oh, uh, Masterson's calling me in.
I'll meet you and Lizzie at the bar.

All right.

Hey.

I'm sorry, I-- I have to head home.

- What's wrong?
-Nothing's wrong. It's just--

- Are you okay?
-Yeah.

-[Aren] Oh.
-Shit. Um--

Thank you.

Look, urn, we don't have to go to the bar.

We can just walk in that direction
and talk.

Sorry, I'm just--
I'm not super fun right now.

It's okay.

No, I'm really, uh--

I'm no fun.

I think, uh, this is fun enough
for the both of us.

- Oh, my God.
-ls this a ring that says "so swag"?

You love that--

-lt's very fun.
-That was a gag gift. So...

It's almost too fun.

-"So swag."
-Okay.

Urn...

A short, unfun walk.

All right.

Completely joyless.

It's my job to support Jason,
in more ways than you can imagine,

but, I mean, I don't know,
I think I'm a good designer also.

- You're the best of us.
-I mean, I don't--

- I don't know if I'm the best, but--
-No, you are.

I went to RISD with some great designers.
You're killing it.

- Thank you.
-I mean that.

That means a lot. Thank you. I--

Like, if I'm being honest, like,
I kind of-- I kind of think that too.

And that's, like, this whole thing for me.

Like, it's taken me years
to just be able to say, like,

you know, I think-- like,
I, as a person, do not suck fundamentally.

And it's--

This place is supposed
to be a meritocracy.

So, Mick?
Like, Mick is a free market psychopath.

If there was a way
to promote with blood sport,

oh, my God, he'd be throwing us
in the pit, like, left and right.

-[laughs]
-And I'm just saying, put me in the pit.

- Like, I'm there. I'm committed.
-Yeah. Okay--

I'm-- I'm good.

Can I just say,
you're kind of a badass right now.

I mean, at all times, but specifically
right now because I feel like--

I keep thinking this, because, with me,
when I lose an opportunity, I'm like,

"Yeah, that's right. That makes sense
and goodbye, and thank you so much."

- You're-- Right now, you're like this--
-Wait.

I don't have the word for it.

- That's how much I don't have it.
-But you went to RISD.

- That's different though.
-No, it's not at all.

That's like
the Harvard of finger painting.

That's how they sell it.
It's on all the pamphlets.

Exactly. I mean, it's--

You know, it's amazing
to even get in there.

What did you study?

Sculpture.

- You did?
-Mm-hmm.

You still do it?

No. Not really, urn, anymore.

I, uh-- I used to love it,

but it's sort of similar
to what you were saying.

What?

I couldn't decide if I was, like, really
good and other people didn't get me,

or if I was a lunatic
making yarn sculptures.

Yarn sculptures?

- I know, I know--
-Sculptures with yarn?

Yeah.

Do you have pictures?

- I do.
-Yeah?

Urn...

- They don't really work in 2D. ..
-Oh, my God.

-...and they're too small on this screen.
-Are you sure?

- Let me see. [laughs]
-So-- Come on!

[groans]

- This looks so cool.
-Yeah,

you don't really get
the feeling that you get in person.

Okay, so if it was, like, right in front
of me, what would I be feeling?

Calm.

Quiet.

Kind of like how I imagine meditating
is supposed to feel,

but you can never actually pull off.

Okay. So it's-- it's, like, relaxing?

I'm doing a terrible job of this.

- Why are you making me do this?
-No, you're not.

- You're not.
-[chuckles]

Yeah, um--

I think my pieces are about... comfort.

Mm-hmm.

Not like, "My shoes are comfortable,"
but deep social ease.

Like, I saw this Wall Street bro
get mugged one time.

Uh, okay.

-lt's an example-- Deep social ease. Uh--
-Okay. Okay.

But when this guy got mugged,
he was so surprised.

Yeah. I mean, isn't that kind of
essential to a mugging?

But, no, it was the way he was surprised.

It was-- Like, right before the mugging,

he was so sure that
the world wasn't gonna come for him

that it took him a super long time
to realize that he was getting mugged.

I swear to God that for a split second,

he thought the knife
was a present for him.

[chuckles]

Like, in his mind,

it was more likely that a stranger
would give him a random gift...

Mm-hmm.

...than that they would try to hurt him.

Totally. Yeah.

And I-- I wanna know
what that would feel like,

to have that expectation of the world...

just for a second.

Like I'm floating in saltwater,

and I can just relax.

Well, what makes you feel like that?

Peruvian wool.

[Shorts]

And... when people are talking to me.

Like, me specifically.

Not an idea of me,
but the person that I actually am.

And when does that happen?

Is it weird to say now?

[phone ringing]

Sorry.

- Hey.
-[Jason] You sitting down?

I was.

Dude, I get to pitch Mick
in front of the entire company, everyone.

That's awesome, man.

Like, I knew it was coming,
and this is it. It's here,

and I'm bringing you along with me,
and I just emailed you a temp.

So, you think you can, like,
work your magic like you did last time?

- Yeah. You got it. No problem.
- Thanks, man.

[exhales]

Sorry. I gotta go back to work.

That's okay. I should actually--
I should go.

Thanks for the walk.

Yeah, anytime.

-L'll see you.
- See you.

[bell tolling in distance]

[tolling continues]

A farm subsidy's not welfare
because farmers aren't lazy.

You know?

And he looks at me like... [scoffs]
And I'm like, "Yeah?"

And we were both like... [scoffs]

And then we just got up,
and I don't know what happened after that.

-[bell tolling]
-[clocks chiming]

And that's why you have nothing
to be embarrassed about.

[magic powers down]

[magic powers down]

[bell tolling]

[exhales]

Normally, I would be floating above you,
godlike,

with magic powered
by a hundred Negroes working as one.

But today, Kyle here had to get
an actual chair for me.

Why? Because someone here
defied the Society.

Our powers shut down because
someone here made it about himself.

Who was it?

[murmuring]

Brutus and Kyle have had to carry
this thing around like common laborers.

Brutus went to Dartmouth.

He doesn't need this shit.

And Kyle went to--

Kyle, baby, where'd you go again?

Cornell, ma'am.

Still technically lvy.

Who did it?

Tonya.

Tell us of your crimes.

[exhales]

I told my client about himself.

Not much.

I was just like,

"Hey, you may want to revisit
that foundational paper in our field."

ls that all?

And I may have sworn at him a little.

He's never read it.
He cites it, but he's never read it.

[Dede] I've heard enough!

I hereby ban you from
the American Society of Magical Negroes.

You will receive a mind-erasing spell

that will take away any
and all recollection of your time here.

And then, Tonya, you will receive
the most severe sentence.

You will be forced to live in America...

- No.
-...as a...

regular Black person.

[crowd gasps, murmurs]

We're working to get our powers up
as soon as possible.

Normally, Tonya would have helped
with that.

What a waste.

To Tonya.

She is--

was the smartest of us.

She's not dead though, right?

Probably not.

But without our standard-issue charm
against hate crimes,

the worst could have happened.

Like she stepped out of our door
and walked straight into a Nazi.

I didn't mean to put you off like that.

No. No, it's-- it's okay.

I don't recruit.

Usually, I don't work
with the new members like that.

Really?

Dede says I'm too stern.

What?

[chuckles]
That's what I said. I'm likable.

So, uh, why me?

I'll give you a compliment.

Watching you walk through
a room full of white people

is the most painful thing I've ever seen.

Mmm. Thank you.

I called Dede right away and said,

"I'm going to work
with this young man myself."

You know, I--

I just realized that I never actually, uh,
thanked you for helping me out that night.

You don't have to thank me.

Still.

You can thank me by doing a good job.

Okay.

-[Lizzie] Hey.
-Hi.

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

I mean, I was not okay last night,
and you were really sweet about it.

So it's your turn.

- Yeah, I'm good.
-Okay.

[sighs]

[Jason] I can't believe
you haven't played this before.

- Yeah, I know. It's fun.
-[game zapping]

-[game zaps, sizzling]
-Oh, my God. Wow.

I know, right?
Look. He's, like, all burned up.

- You can, like, pick up his lung.
-Okay, yeah. Let's--

Hey, I actually, um-- I actually
had a suggestion on the Lizzie front.

Yeah, shoot.

I was thinking that you could ask Lizzie
to present with you.

Why? I mean, I do the talking,
you run the deck. What else do we need?

Well, Lizzie's a great designer,
and, you know, it's a nice gesture,

especially for someone that you're into.

[Jason] Yeah, but it's not fair.

No. You'd still have plenty
of face time with Mick.

No, I mean, it's not fair to Lizzie.

What? I-- I don't follow.

Well, I mean, if you give somebody
a break, and they haven't earned it,

you're just setting them up
to fail down the line.

So it's not fair to them.

So, you don't think Lizzie's earned it?

Well, I mean,
Masterson did come to me, so...

Well, yeah, true,
but it could have been either of you.

- Could it?
-Yeah.

Well, I can only speak for me,
and I got it.

So I must have put in
the right amount of work.

But what if Lizzie put in
the exact same amount of work?

But she didn't get it.

So, the fact that you have it
is proof that you deserve it?

Kinda. Pick up that rapier there
and just stab them in the nose.

I mean, sure,
there's luck and talent and stuff,

but I feel like mostly,
people get what they work for,

and I got it. Lizzie didn't.

But don't other things contribute
to your success?

Like what?

Like, if people treat you

like you're gonna be successful
your whole life,

don't you think
that makes it easier to succeed?

- Like me specifically?
-Sure.

Well, I was gonna succeed,
so they would have been right.

But what if they treated you
like you weren't gonna succeed?

Well, why would they? I was.

It's a hypothetical, Jason.

I would have been like,
"Back off, haters."

Okay, but that's
a really confident attitude,

and if you're being undermined
your whole life--

Well, I'm confident,
so I wouldn't let them undermine me.

But I'm saying, like, what if
your confidence isn't actually yours,

it's just something
that you learned how to do

in response
to how people have treated you?

Like, for me, and I'm not
actually sure how this happened,

but I feel like at some point,

- I got taught that other people have--
-Dude, pump the brakes, man.

- My bad. I'm not--
-No, pump the brakes on the Humvee.

- Sorry.
-Slow, slow, slow. Nice. Nice!

Whoo, I thought we were gonna
overshoot it. Nice.

[exhales] What were you saying?

Uh...

Urn...

Nothing.

- Holy shit. You almost died.
-Yeah.

[downtempo music playing on speakers]

[chattering]

[no audible dialogue]

Were you looking for anything specific?

Just inspiration. [chuckles]

- Yeah?
-Tough client.

Well, anytime Oscar here senses
a really extreme reaction

from one of the clients, good or bad,

he starts recording to a disk.

And the full disks are archived here
so we can look back at these moments.

Usually, these are our finest work.

Like, the most recent one we caught was...

Huh. Sorry, um, no one seems
to have labeled the last one.

And that's why you have nothing
to be embarrassed about.

[clears throat, coughs]

- Excuse me.
-Sure.

[Roger in projection]
I can '2' Waiz' to see this picture.

No, that, uh-- that didn't come out.
Let me take it again, okay?

You guys ready? 'Cause this is the one.

He was my second client.

And she was--

Well, I mean, she was Annie.

First he fell for her.

Then I fell for her.

And then I did my job.

You ever regret it?

Regret is for white people.

I don't think that's how it works.

Well, not according to my grandma.

You gonna quote
your wise Black grandma to me?

-[chuckling]
-To me?

- Yeah, but this is my real one.
-Okay.

You see, my daddy,
he used to shine shoes.

And this one day,

I must have been...
five, six years old,

I went to town to see him.

And I was running toward him, all excited.

But before I got to him, this white man
looked down from the chair above him...

and he just spit on his head.

He spit on him.

He said something about...

my daddy needed more spit in his shine.

And I just froze.

I mean, my daddy had a temper.

So I'm saying to myself...

[exclaims]

"He's about to whoop the shit
out of this white man."

Mmm. [chuckles]

But instead,
he wiped the spit off of his head,

and he looked up at him and he smiled.

And I ran home crying,
thinking about that smile.

When I finally ran into my grandmother,

I told her how ashamed I was of my daddy,

and she got real still.

And you know what she said?

What?

"If your daddy come home alive today,

he ain't got nothing to regret."

So have I lost some things to this work?

Some pride?

Her?

Yeah.

But I never regretted one smile,

because I'm still here...

and so many of us ain't.

But what do you do
about the little part of you that dies

every time you smile like that?

- What, you'd rather go all at once?
-No. I just--

It's just pride, Aren.

It feels like more.

Well, that's because you didn't let her go
like I told you to do.

How did you know that?

[chuckles]
Well, of course I know all about that.

I'm pretty much a wizard.

Fair enough.

You'll get another client,

and she will fade.

[Aren] Then why do you keep e picture ?

[Roger] So she doesn't.

That sounds awful.

Well, it's better than the alternative.

If you do anything to interfere
with her or your client,

you could have your memory erased.

You won't even remember she existed.

I'm sorry, son, but this is the job.

["September in the Rain" playing]

♪ The leaves of brown
Came tumblin' down P

♪ Remember r

♪ In September?

♪ In the rain a“

Hey, Lizzie?

.Hey-
.Hey-

I-- I just wanted to apologize

for being weird the other day.

No worries.

- Thank you.
-Yeah.

But, urn, I really--

I really do wanna be friends.

And I wanna say that out loud to you
because I--

I feel like we had a...

"we're actually gonna be friends" night,

and then I was weird about it.

Um-- Yes. Totally.

So...

friends?

Yes.

- Are we friends?
-Of course we're friends.

- Friends. This is-- It's formal.
-Yeah. I don't-- Yeah.

Seal the deal. All right.

- Um, I'm gonna get back to work, okay?
-Okay.

-l'll see you around.
- Okay.

Hey, Aren?

Hey, what's up?

I'm sorry, I just--

I know you just said that we had a...

uh, "we're actually gonna be friends"
kind of night, but that's--

that's not what I would call it.

What-- What would you call it?

Urn, we had a moment.

Didn't we?

And I guess I just figured
that you were acting weird

because it was-- it was too soon,
urn, or it was too much.

Urn, or because I outrank you.

[chuckles] Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, I could order you to do stuff.

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

So am I crazy?

No.

Thank you. [chuckles]

We had a really lovely moment.

But?

But l...

just started this job, and--

I'm sorry, I--

Don't be sorry.

Urn, no, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have brought it up at work.
That's--

We're friends. We're friends.

- Friends? [chuckles]
-Yeah. [chuckles]

- Friends.
-Okay.

Okay. I'm gonna go home.

But I'll-- I'll see you.

- Okay.
-See you around.

All right. See you.

[recruiter] There's a tens/on here.

Black, but palatable,

because they don't wanna know
how much it costs you to navigate them.

The sadness behind your eyes
every time you smile.

The lump in your throat
from everything you didn't say.

We're showing the client the parts
of ourselves that make them feel good.

And nothing more.

[phone ringing]

[grunts]

- Hi, uh--
-[Jason] Yo, presentation day!

Hey, let's meet 30 before.

Also, big news on the Lizzie front.

Neah'?
-Yeah, yeah. I, uh--

As soon as the presentation's over,
I'm asking her out.

- You there?
- Mm-hmm.

Did you hear the part about how
after the presentation,

I'm asking her out?

[phone ringing]

L'm so sorry. I, um--

All good. Anyway, I got a great plan
to ask her out,

but I'm gonna need your help.

What was that thing you said last week
that made her laugh?

-I think i2' was about--
-[line cuts]

[grunts]

[Lizzie on voicemail]
Hi} this is Lizzie. Leave a message.

Hey, Lizzie! Are you at work?
I need to talk to you.

[Jason] You close? Don'! Wanna be
that' boats Wain, but, uh, you Te late.

[phone chimes]

Hey, man, you go! an ETA ?
Uh, Where-- where are you at?

[phone ringing]

What? La Croix?

No. He's not a dockworker, Tyler.

Go get the one
with the fresh fruit squeezed in it. Run!

[door opens]

[chuckles]

Mick, hi. Jason. What an honor.

All we are really
is just bags of meat, you know?

In a box. [laughing]

Iaughs]

Okay, Linda. Linda, Linda, Linda.

- Is your team all set?
-Yes, Mick. It's, uh-- Of course.

That's great.
You have a very bright future here.

Wow, I think I just left my body.

- Are we set?
-Yes.

- Okay.
-Yeah.

[corporate hip-hop music
playing on speakers]

[cheering, applause]

A“ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho S'

a“ Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho S'

[song ends]

Ahoy!

Thank you all so much for coming.

Or rather, not coming, because we are
live streaming this to your desks.

We read a study
in the Harvard Business Review

that said gathering in large groups
leads to too much fun.

And unions.

So we're gonna have fun
from wherever we are.

And I would like to hear you
one at a time.

First up, Los Angeles?

[cheering]

Seoul?

[cheering]

Dude! Where have you been?
The presentation is starting!

- I can't talk right now, man.
-We're about to go on.

- Have you seen Lizzie?
-She'll be at the presentation. Come on.

The other day, I was bidding
on a first edition of The Fountainhead,

and I lost.

Now, those of you who know me,
know that I hate losing, okay? [chuckles]

But in the end,
it was kind of exhilarating,

because it reminded me of my drive to win.

[bubbling, whistling]

Now, Ghanagate...

reminded us that we have to double down
on connecting with everybody.

Design will help them find their bliss.

- I don't see Lizzie.
-Just find her after.

No, it's urgent.
I'm having a moment of clarity.

There's nothing more urgent
than this presentation.

I'm just clicking the slides.
You can do it on your own.

- No. You have to be there.
-Why?

- Because you do.
-l'm just pressing a button.

- Do I have to spell this out for you?
-Apparently.

So this whole rebrand is about diversity.

[Mick] Now, without further ado,
please join me in welcoming to the stage

the LA design team head, Linda Masterson.

[cheering]

[Masterson] Thanks so much, Mick.

Well, I think it's safe to say

that every crew
is only as good as their captain.

VVhoo!

[Masterson] And with Mick at the helm,

it's pretty clear we're not gonna be
hitting any icebergs anytime soon.

[Masterson continues indistinctly]

[mouthing]

.Hey-
.Hey-

I, uh--

[Sniffs]

I didn't like that.

- What?
-That thing you said. I didn't like it.

Okay.

I felt like you were saying
that I'm only here because of my race.

- I didn't like that.
-What?

- And I needed to say that out loud.
-Whoa.

I feel crazy just blurting that out.
That's--

- Wow. [chuckles]
-Whoa.

Just once, I wanted to say what I thought
no matter the consequences.

I'm not racist.

- What?
-l'm not racist.

No. That's not what I'm saying.
I was trying to tell you how I felt,

which is actually pretty big for me

'cause I usually only worry
about how you feel.

'Cause I--
I would never say anything racist.

No. I'm just talking about me.

I don't have a racist bone
in my body.

Sorry. I'm actually having a moment
of real personal growth,

and-- and so, no offense,

I don't really care
if you're racist on a skeletal level.

We can't just throw that shit around.
It's like a death sentence.

- No. Getting shot is a death sentence.
- You know What I mean.

No, I don't totally. You did say a thing.

You said you only needed me onstage
because I'm diverse.

- No. No, I didn't.
-Yes, you did.

No. I said the presentation
is about diversity.

I mean, that-- that's semantics.

That's not what happened.

-[Jason] I'm sorry you heard it wrong.
-[Aren] I was just there. That's--

If what you're saying happened,
then I'm racist.

I'm not racist, so it couldn't
have happened how you said it happened.

So, because you don't wanna feel bad,

the thing that just happened
didn't happen?

- That makes it sound crazy.
-That's because it's crazy.

Can we just please focus up here?

And now, Jason Mundt.

- I don't care if you're racist.
-Dude--

- Everyone's racist.
-Aren--

I care that you won't acknowledge
what just happened.

-[Jason] I'm sorry you're offended.
-How can we move forward

until we acknowledge
the basic facts of the situation...

- Are they lovers?
-I don't think so.

-L'm not asking for reparations.
-I did all of it. I did racism.

-L'm just asking for you to hear me out.
-I did slavery. If I can do this...

I'm sorry, did you say you did slavery?

Like, as an institution?

- How did we get there?
-l'm just--

All you had to do was listen to me

and the thing that I was saying
about myself!

- What's happening?
-I don't know. He's freaking out.

There's a section of your presentation
called "Diverse Experiences."

-lt's a dumb title, but it's in there.
-lt's okay, I've got this.

You couldn't be less interested
in that or me.

Excuse me, fellas.

- You wanna get in on this, Mick?
-I might be able to help out with this.

- Just go.
-Ahoy, MeetBox.

- You think you understand me?
-Yeah.

My name is Jason.

Mick, you don't understand other people.
You own an island.

- Right.
-[Jason] I'd like to get started--

No one with an island has empathy.

- It's not possible to possess both things.
-Keep going.

- Right.
-[Jason] Dude. Stop.

I'm so sorry.

Why are you doing this? We're friends.

You're not my friend.

And you don't wanna be friends,
because if we were actual friends,

you would have to talk to me
and listen to me,

and make space for the reality

that I live in a country
that makes me feel like it wants me dead.

- What?
-What?

[Aren] Where, if I get shot today,

there is an army of people ready
to explain how it was probably my fault.

-"Probably." Aren.
-And I feel that every day.

- The diversity section is coming later...
-In every glance, in every movie...

...and maybe less about death.
-...that's supposed to be uplifting.

- Death and diversity...
-That changes everything.

-...don't have to do with each other.
-That changes how I walk and how I talk

and how I take up space or don't.

I got this. Okay.

It changes what risks feel reasonable
and which ones are insane.

And it's taken me my whole life

to realize that this is a weight
that I walk around with all the time.

-"My name is Jason. .
-And after this lifelong journey

of figuring out that maybe
this shit impacts everything I do...

Linda, you're not Jason.

...you wanna turn around and act like
I'm crazy for acknowledging it?

No, no, no.
You don't get to put me in danger

just because
you don't wanna feel like an asshole.

Young man...

- Be the asshole.
-...we have forums in which...

Mick, hold on a second.

- Jason!
-I beg your pardon?

The shame that you feel, like you did
something wrong just by being yourself,

that is my whole life.

- And this place...
-You know what, everybody?

-[Aren] ...this country...
-This is MeetBox.

...has been so deeply indifferent
to whether or not I exist,

that on some level,
I don't think I have the right to.

And what I am saying to you,
that you so steadfastly refuse to hear...

It's the Mick way. It's the MeetBox way.

...is fuck that!

L do!

I deserve to be here.

Not just on this stage, but in this world!

And that, believe it or not,
is a revelation to me.

So you wanna know about
my-- my diverse experience?

I have been on this planet for 27 years,

and I just figured out this week
that I deserve to be alive.

Iaughs]

I didn't know that.

Me neither.

- Hi.
-Hi. That was--

I'm gonna move us a little.

What?

-L'm gonna go soon, and I can't explain.
-Oh, my God.

But even though
we might never see each other again,

I need you to know that you're not crazy.

What we had was real.

And as long as I've known you,

-I've wanted to do this...
-[bell tolling in distance]

[Lizzie] Aren?

[bell tolling]

[Dede] Aren Mbondo...

we have seen your crimes
on the MeetBox stage.

Crimes that have endangered everyone

and kept me at this miserable height.

What happened
after you left the auditorium?

I teleported my client's love interest
to a romantic location

where I tried to kiss her.

[crowd exclaims]

In my defense,
I had feelings for her first,

and he kinda colonized my crush.

[murmuring]

How can you possibly
justify your behavior?

I guess I've always felt like it's my job
to make white people feel comfortable.

And obviously, here, it literally is.

But... it shouldn't be.

[person whispers] I get it though.

Aren, you are hereby banished

from the American Society
of Magical Negroes.

Makes sense.

You got a history of concussions?

Because technically,
this spell is brain damage.

I'm okay.

[clears throat]

- Are you gonna--
-Just give me a second.

Yeah. Okay.

You know you're not gonna be able
to take care of yourself out there?

Um, I'll be fine.

Okay.

[magic powers down]

[magic powers down]

Shit.

What? What's--

I think you must have
gave somebody notions.

I could really use a hand here.

I don't think you really understand
the welfare state.

What?

But it's gotta be a two-way street.

I can't be the only one
grabbing crotches around here.

You've gotta check in on my penis as well.

[chattering]

But this shutdown feels different. Big.

- Did I just put you out of a job?
-Oh, no.

Being a Magical Negro
isn't just about magic.

As long as there are fretful whites,
we will be here.

All right.

Uh...

-I'm gonna go.
-But what you gonna do for work?

Uh-- I actually have an idea
for a new piece.

The yarn?
You do remember nobody liked it?

Yeah, but I do.

Well, if I'm letting you out of here
with your memory intact,

you'd better text me tonight.

[chuckling] Okay. Sure.

And none of that emoji shit. I need words.

I'm curious to see
how you gonna make it out of all this.

Make it out of what?

You didn't leave her in LA.

Oh.

No.

No, no, no.

No,no,no,no,no,no.

[Lizzie on voicemail] Aren,
What is going on ? You jusz' left me here.

- You just disappeared. I'm on the. ..
- Excuse me!

[Lizzie] - - - on the Empire State Building.
What is going on .7

Um, okay, great.
So, I'm, like, on the Brooklyn Bridge now,

on the way to the airport.

Uh, and I guess I'm in New York.

I, uh, landed in LA.
I'm in a car home right now.

Um, can you just give me a call
and let me know that you're okay?

Lizzie.

Hey. I'm so sorry.
I didn't realize that when I left--

[both chuckle]

[Aren] I, uh...

[Lizzie] Uh-huh?

[Aren chuckles]

[Lizzie] Hi, uh, Aren.

[Aren] Urn, I feel terrible
about leaving you in New York.

- That was not what I was planning on.
-Mm-hmm.

- So do you have powers, or...
-[Aren] No. Right, okay.

That's a-- That's a fair question.

I'm part of this magic society,

or-- or I was. I just quit.

You know, good on me.

[Lizzie] You're kidding?

[Aren] Nope.

[Lizzie] Just such a crazy coincidence,

because I am--
I'm also a part of a magic society,

and I was about to quit.

[Aren] Yeah, okay, that's funny.
I deserve that.

[Lizzie] No, really.

But first I thought I would kidnap you
and leave you on the Space Needle.

[Aren] No, I was-- [laughs]
I was trying to be romantic.

[groans]

[Lizzie] All right.
Just walk with me then.

- That sounds much nicer.
-[Aren] Okay.

[Lizzie] Maybe no more magic.

[Aren] Yeah. No more magic.

[Lizzie]
Oh, and you still owe me a coffee.

[lounge music playing on speakers]

Can I help you?

Oh. Okay.