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1
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,893
♪ Bum-didi bum-didi bum
Macarena! ♪
2
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:20,645
♪ Bum didi-didi bum
Macarena! ♪
3
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,440
♪ Bum-didi bum-didi bum
Macarena! ♪
4
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,150
♪ Hey, Macarena! ♪
5
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,735
Your turn, Gwen!
6
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:27,986
Your turn, Jay!
7
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,238
I'll do it with you, Mrs. Forman.
8
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,996
I had more respect for you
when you were the town slut.
9
00:00:38,079 --> 00:00:39,873
Uh... Um, honey. Honey. Honey.
10
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:43,126
Appreciate the enthusiasm.
Back away from the coconut logs.
11
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,420
There's hair flipping all over the place.
12
00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:49,674
People say
I look like Keanu Reeves, only hotter.
13
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,134
I said that.
14
00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:54,554
And I was kidding.
15
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:56,931
Well, I think you look dangerous.
16
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,851
Ugh! When is Leia getting here?
17
00:00:59,934 --> 00:01:02,103
And don't even think about it.
I get first hug.
18
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:05,106
No way, Gwen. It's been two months.
19
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:08,985
- Boyfriend gets first hug.
- I said first hug, not first hump.
20
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,530
Well, I'm different now, Gwen.
I want hugs and humps.
21
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:16,868
Oh, it is so sweet
that you two are fighting over Leia,
22
00:01:16,951 --> 00:01:18,161
but let's get real.
23
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:19,621
Grandma gets first hug.
24
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:59,244
Look who got the first hug.
25
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:01,996
- Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
- Grandma.
26
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,128
Okay, Grandma,
it's weird that you're kissing my neck.
27
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:10,420
That's me.
28
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,133
So whose hand's on my butt?
29
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:14,216
Oh, that's mine.
30
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,595
So who's blowing in my ear?
31
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,930
I'm just breathing.
32
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,607
As always, I got it.
33
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,778
♪ Hangin' out down the street ♪
34
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:35,822
♪ The same old thing we did last week ♪
35
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,074
♪ Not a thing to do ♪
36
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,160
♪ But talk to you ♪
37
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:42,579
♪ We're all alright, we're all alright ♪
38
00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,331
Hello, Wisconsin!
39
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,459
- Ozzie!
- Zip it, string cheese.
40
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,213
Don't take it personally.
He's trying to win Spice Girls tickets.
41
00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,591
{\an8}If Freaky Freddy
and the Turd play "Wannabe,"
42
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,676
{\an8}and I'm the tenth caller, I win.
43
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,597
{\an8}Garth Brooks? Are you shitting me?
44
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,517
{\an8}Okay, I have two minutes for you.
Come here.
45
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:08,521
{\an8}You're wearing
the Bath and Body Works lotion I sent you.
46
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,566
{\an8}I wear it every day.
Did you get the hat I knitted for you?
47
00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:13,066
{\an8}I did.
48
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:15,485
{\an8}I did get it.
49
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,825
{\an8}I can't believe I'm finally back.
Spring break was so long ago.
50
00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:21,909
{\an8}I know!
51
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,537
{\an8}Ugh! Counting Crows!
52
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:29,083
{\an8}This is so nice. I can't believe
we have to talk about the bad thing.
53
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,752
{\an8}Oh, I already got rid of Jay.
54
00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:33,630
{\an8}I said you forgot all your tampons
and sent him to the store.
55
00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,757
{\an8}- Gwen!
- I told him you're a size 28.
56
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,508
{\an8}So he should be gone a long time.
57
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:41,763
{\an8}Now that I'm back for the whole summer,
I'm really starting to freak out.
58
00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,139
{\an8}Oh, honey.
59
00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:45,683
{\an8}You should be.
60
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,770
{\an8}Last summer, you almost hooked up
with her brother,
61
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,188
{\an8}didn't tell your boyfriend,
62
00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:54,943
{\an8}he didn't tell his girlfriend,
and... now we're all stuck in a web of lies.
63
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,488
{\an8}Leia, seriously.
You need to get it together.
64
00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:00,490
{\an8}I have big plans for us.
65
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:04,118
{\an8}We're gonna raise hell
and burn down the patriarchy,
66
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,537
{\an8}and maybe try that new fro-yo place.
67
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:09,290
{\an8}Fro-yo's overrated. Ice cream or die.
68
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:13,086
{\an8}You're right. I can be cool about this.
69
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:16,547
{\an8}No, I can't! Everybody's gonna find out!
And Nate and Nikki will break up.
70
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,859
{\an8}And Jay will dump me,
and he's been so sweet and romantic
71
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:21,469
{\an8}while we've been apart.
He even mailed me a lock of his hair.
72
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:25,265
{\an8}I hope it was from his head,
'cause I kiss it every night before bed.
73
00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,517
{\an8}Dude. Nobody's gonna find out
74
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,979
{\an8}if you keep your pube-smooching mouth shut
and just be normal around Nate.
75
00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:35,650
{\an8}I mean, I can, and I walked in on him
having sex with the couch.
76
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:38,777
{\an8}This couch.
77
00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,197
{\an8}Does it matter what couch?
78
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,865
{\an8}Uh... yes!
79
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,202
{\an8}We are not getting a pet catfish.
80
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:50,665
{\an8}Nik, I want a cat and a fish.
It's the only pet that's a two-for-one.
81
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:53,793
{\an8}Uh, what about a spider monkey
or a horsefly?
82
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,962
{\an8}Oh my God, you're contagious.
83
00:04:57,338 --> 00:04:59,882
{\an8}- Leia, you're back.
- Hey! That was too loud.
84
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,261
{\an8}Come here!
85
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,391
{\an8}- Why are you hanging back? Give her a hug.
- I would rather kill her.
86
00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,520
{\an8}I'm kidding.
87
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:14,731
{\an8}Hey.
88
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:16,733
{\an8}Hey there, sports fan.
89
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,444
{\an8}My button is stuck.
90
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,665
Easy, Nate. She's not a couch.
91
00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:37,837
- Told you I was looking for the remote.
- With a condom on?
92
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:44,969
They were out of 28s,
but I got 600 Ultras and a tarp.
93
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:51,351
Sorry Eric couldn't make it.
94
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,145
He got carsick
backing out of the driveway.
95
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:56,814
What do you expect?
96
00:05:56,898 --> 00:06:00,401
He was born with the softest head
the doctor had ever seen.
97
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:04,489
He couldn't wear a hat
for the first six months.
98
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:08,159
I'd see other mothers
with the cute hats on their babies
99
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:11,162
and I'd think... "Must be nice."
100
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,998
There's still one little spot.
101
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,501
If you touch it,
he'll sneeze like a puppy.
102
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,674
This lemonade looks yummy.
103
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,134
Oh, it's the mint.
104
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:26,677
Schwing!
105
00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:29,180
Here we go again.
106
00:06:29,263 --> 00:06:31,516
Since she started working
at that high school,
107
00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:34,394
I don't understand a damn thing she says.
108
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,979
Sorry you can't hang with my slang, Red.
109
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:39,481
Not!
110
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:46,197
Then I guess I'll go
and clean the gutters like you asked.
111
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,280
Not!
112
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:52,870
So, anything exciting going on
around here besides this conversation?
113
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:56,124
I got back into my model trains.
114
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:58,459
I just finished painting City Hall.
115
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:02,964
Now, that, uh, Mayor Brown,
he thinks he's in charge.
116
00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:04,132
I'm the king.
117
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:06,717
Sure you are, Red.
118
00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:11,514
- The neighbor across the street died.
- Creepy Kowalski?
119
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:15,935
He was always trying to get me
to jump on his trampoline.
120
00:07:16,018 --> 00:07:18,688
I know. Sweet man.
121
00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:22,191
But now his house is on the market.
122
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:27,071
It is the perfect chance for someone
to move back to Point Place,
123
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:32,118
so her mother-in-law can stop resenting
her for stealing away her baby boy.
124
00:07:32,201 --> 00:07:34,912
Okay, don't get started with this.
125
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,581
Moving away was Eric's idea.
126
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,250
Homewrecker says what?
127
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,336
What?
128
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:45,465
I'm doing something here, Red.
129
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:48,384
I know you have the best of intentions,
130
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,262
like getting Leia
secretly baptized four times.
131
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,307
But we're... we're happy in Chicago.
132
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,058
I know. You're right!
133
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:59,979
This is just a silly idea
that popped into my head.
134
00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:06,694
Really? A flyer for the house
under my cookies?
135
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,363
Location, location, location.
136
00:08:11,407 --> 00:08:12,407
Schwing!
137
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,332
This is getting worse.
138
00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,667
We have to tell Nikki and Jay
about last summer.
139
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,210
Yeah.
140
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,464
There is not a way
that you can un-almost-kiss someone.
141
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,090
I asked a lawyer.
142
00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:33,262
Look, you two,
we've all done something we regret.
143
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,140
Do you think I'm proud
that I gave a cranker to that sophomore
144
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,600
who looks like Frasier?
145
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,685
Hell no.
146
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,271
Tony Garvin?
147
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:45,566
Holy crap, we cranked the same Frasier.
148
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,111
Do you know what your problem is?
149
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:52,532
This whole mess is your Frasier,
and you two keep cranking it.
150
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,492
We gotta quit cranking.
151
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,202
You get me?
152
00:08:57,578 --> 00:08:58,579
No.
153
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:02,208
I don't want to do anything
with that little Frasier.
154
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:04,544
What's she talking about?
155
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,755
She means that we need to talk.
156
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,342
Yes. I've been thinking that
for a long time.
157
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:14,220
What do you wanna talk about?
158
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:17,390
The Hindenburg? That was crazy.
159
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,268
No. Us.
160
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,604
What happened last summer
seemed right in the moment,
161
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,231
but that's not what I want.
162
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,275
I want to be with Jay.
163
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,361
Yeah, and I want to be with Nik
164
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,071
and her boobs.
165
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:34,407
They soothe me.
166
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:41,664
Leia, we can't tell them.
We have to take this to the grave!
167
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,834
Yes. I don't want to hurt either of them.
168
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,252
We're not saying dick!
169
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:49,338
How long you think this is gonna last?
170
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:52,008
Three, two, one.
171
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,342
We have to tell them.
172
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:55,845
Yeah. As soon as possible.
173
00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:58,346
Damn.
174
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,434
That was faster than Tony Garvin.
175
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:05,479
If you lived across the street,
176
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:08,274
half of this George Foreman Grill
could be yours.
177
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:12,445
I could be the co-owner
of the Kitty Forman George Foreman Grill?
178
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:13,528
Tempting.
179
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,698
You're gonna feel so awful
180
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:19,243
when I tell you the real reason
I need my family close by.
181
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,371
I'm dying.
182
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,455
No, you're not.
183
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:27,543
- Whose team are you on, Red?
- I'm on yours, Kitty.
184
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:29,670
Team Crazy.
185
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,505
I'm crazy?
186
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,258
I'm crazy? You're the one
who can't sleep at night
187
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:37,720
because your tiny firehouse
is on back order.
188
00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,890
Stop calling it tiny!
189
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,224
It's to scale.
190
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,479
I'm starting to think
Eric wasn't really carsick.
191
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:48,438
Booyah!
192
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,566
Booyah to both of you!
193
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:07,750
♪ Leia, I think about you
All night and day-a ♪
194
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:12,088
♪ You made me feel the opposite of gay-a ♪
195
00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:17,051
♪ Even though being gay
Is perfectly okay-a ♪
196
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:19,345
♪ Hooray-a! ♪
197
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,722
♪ For Leia and Jay-a ♪
198
00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:28,437
I didn't know so many words
rhymed with my name.
199
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:29,938
They don't.
200
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:31,815
That was all me.
201
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:35,736
Jay, that was amazing.
I loved all 12 minutes of it.
202
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,032
And that makes what I need
to talk to you about even harder.
203
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,785
Yeah. I've noticed
you've been a little off.
204
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:47,123
You know, at first...
I thought it was 'cause of your period,
205
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:48,999
'cause Gwen said it was a level seven.
206
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:53,920
But...
207
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,632
I think I know the real reason.
208
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,716
You do?
209
00:11:58,759 --> 00:11:59,759
It's because...
210
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:04,432
I haven't been honest with you about some
things that happened when you were gone.
211
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:05,515
Wait, what?
212
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:08,017
Leia...
213
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:10,938
I really like you.
214
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:16,318
And I want our relationship
to be built on trust.
215
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:18,821
Like the library.
216
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,034
So I'm gonna tell you everything.
217
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:31,167
I flirted with this chick who works
at McDonald's, but she was, like, 30,
218
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,336
and when you're that old and busted,
no one sees you anymore.
219
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:38,382
And I took advantage of that
to get a free shake.
220
00:12:40,342 --> 00:12:42,470
And I am so sorry.
221
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:45,473
Even though I totally made her day.
222
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:48,100
Okay, my turn.
223
00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:50,644
Wait, there's one more thing.
224
00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:53,521
It's really bad.
225
00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:58,611
I pleasured myself to the love scene
in Dances with Wolves.
226
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:03,407
'Cause it's really sexy to me
that it was before deodorant.
227
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,620
Thank you for telling me. It's okay.
228
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,247
I am so relieved.
229
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,417
I mean, 'cause if you had
something bad to tell me,
230
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,336
I don't know if I'd take it that well.
231
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:20,549
I mean, I don't know if you know this
about me, but... I'm pretty sensitive.
232
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:24,470
Okay, your turn.
233
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:26,596
Um...
234
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,433
I was just gonna say that...
235
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,686
I did the same thing
to Dances with Wolves.
236
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,439
What have we done, Leia?
237
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:38,651
This is their land!
238
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,075
Dude, that's your song.
239
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:50,162
That's a commercial
for the Point Place Credit Union.
240
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,791
I couldn't tell Jay. Please tell me
you didn't say anything to Nikki.
241
00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,334
- No, she went home.
- Thank you.
242
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,177
So I left a message
on her answering machine.
243
00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,211
What?!
244
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:02,591
I only did it 'cause I thought
we were all doing it. Like seat belts!
245
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,511
I don't even wanna talk right now.
246
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:11,809
Nikki, I'm so sorry.
247
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:15,604
What are you sorry about?
It's this stupid internship.
248
00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,607
My boss's St. Bernard
kept trying to make out with me,
249
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,776
and now I smell like Beethoven's butthole.
250
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:24,473
She hasn't heard the message yet.
251
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,199
We have to get to her house
and erase it before she hears it.
252
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,076
I got Nikki. You got answering machine.
253
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:33,080
Ugh. The smell is not coming off.
I'm gonna go home and shred this blazer.
254
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,456
Uh, you can't!
255
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,083
Your house burned down. It's...
256
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:37,793
It's all gone.
257
00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:39,837
He is kidding.
258
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,924
He wants to, uh, take you out
'cause he loves you so very much.
259
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,801
Leia's right, babe.
260
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:49,513
And that is hard for me to say
'cause I think she's gross overall.
261
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:52,308
Let's go out. Just you and me.
262
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,561
- Hey, bro.
- Jay!
263
00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:58,063
Come outside with me
while I think of a reason why.
264
00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:01,567
- Can it be to compare biceps in the sun?
- Yes.
265
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,068
Didn't we just do this?
266
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,613
Yours are bigger!
Yours are more defined! It's a tie!
267
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,037
Ozzie, you have to help me
get into Nikki's house.
268
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,332
Oh. Right. You can't hear me.
269
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:19,084
No, I can hear you.
I'm just not gonna help.
270
00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,134
I think I ditched your wife.
271
00:15:27,843 --> 00:15:31,263
I put a spoon in the garbage disposal,
I turned it on, and ran.
272
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:36,226
I hate to say it, but I think
Kitty might have finally lost it.
273
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:37,727
Whoa.
274
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,732
Yeah, she can really take things too far.
275
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:42,815
Uh-huh.
276
00:15:43,567 --> 00:15:44,693
What's all of this?
277
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:45,861
Pretty neat, huh?
278
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,447
It takes me back to my youth.
279
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,532
Everyone had a job.
280
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,618
Milkshakes were a nickel.
281
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,078
And if you liked big butts,
282
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,413
you had the good sense
to keep it to yourself.
283
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:01,335
Cool.
284
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,755
None of those little people
talk to you, right?
285
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:07,758
No, but with Leia gone
286
00:16:08,258 --> 00:16:11,512
and, uh, Kitty working,
I had a lot of free time on my hands.
287
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,723
And it was either this or day drinking.
288
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,435
And then I figured, why not both?
289
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,444
Unrelated...
290
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,077
Do you have anyone
in your life you can talk to?
291
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,432
Didn't you used to have
a group of guys you'd play cards with?
292
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:36,495
Yeah.
293
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:41,458
But Larry retired to Arizona,
and... Bill bought a boat,
294
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:46,130
and I haven't seen Roger
since our last camping trip.
295
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,213
Why not?
296
00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:48,756
Bear got him.
297
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,344
Oh. Well, there you are.
298
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:55,389
An adorable family
just stopped by to look at the house,
299
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,683
but I... I chased them down with a hose.
300
00:16:57,766 --> 00:16:59,226
So we're still on track.
301
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,687
I told you I was done
talking about that house
302
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:04,273
when you handed me
a loan application while I was peeing.
303
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,233
Oh, get over it.
304
00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:08,902
Eric already described everything to me.
305
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:13,365
- Mom, I really need...
- Whatever it is, let's go.
306
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,827
Give me back my son!
307
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,086
I think your trains made it weird, Red.
308
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:33,886
Leia?
309
00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:36,013
Mom! You were supposed to wait in the car.
310
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:39,016
You were supposed to be grabbing
a scrunchie you left at Nikki's.
311
00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:42,603
Then I saw you distract her dog with
a piece of bologna and climb in a window.
312
00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,939
What's going on?
Is this about you and Nikki's boyfriend?
313
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,734
How do you know about that?
Have you been listening to my calls?
314
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,944
Please. All moms do it.
315
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,531
Do you think I put you on the pill
on a hunch?
316
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,336
Nate left a message
telling Nikki the truth.
317
00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:00,555
I have to erase it. I tried to keep you
out of it, but you ask too many questions.
318
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,379
Now if we get caught
we're both going to jail.
319
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,666
Who's going to hold
Dad's hand at the dentist?
320
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,127
He gets so scared, Mom.
321
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:09,713
Okay, slow down.
322
00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:12,382
Nobody's going to jail,
and nobody's going to the dentist.
323
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,093
- Talk to me.
- It's just...
324
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:18,806
Last summer was a dream come true,
and then I ruined it all right at the end.
325
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,891
I love having these friends.
326
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:24,978
I love having a boyfriend
who's like Keanu Reeves, but hotter.
327
00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:27,730
Sure.
328
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:33,403
But the only way to keep it all
is to keep lying.
329
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:34,487
That's not me.
330
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:38,367
You know what? Let Nikki hear the truth.
331
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:41,245
If this all blows up,
and I have to go home with you tomorrow,
332
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:42,579
it's what I deserve.
333
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,247
Wow.
334
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,918
That is such a mature decision.
335
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,003
And I know it wasn't easy.
336
00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:53,632
And I'm so proud of the woman
you're becoming.
337
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,365
Message erased.
338
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:02,975
Mom?
339
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,269
Have a good summer.
340
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,273
I love you so much right now.
341
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:11,066
Next message.
342
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,194
Me again!
That last message wasn't real.
343
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,112
I was acting!
344
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:19,449
I'm auditioning for a movie about a guy
who almost kisses his best friend's girl...
345
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,993
Message erased.
346
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:23,453
Next message.
347
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:28,333
Yeah, it's actually not gonna be
released in America, so you won't see it.
348
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,127
Take the tape. Just take the tape.
349
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,887
I knew this day would come.
350
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:42,973
I've already packed a bag.
351
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:47,019
Now, let's get you the help you need.
352
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,397
Talk to the hand, Red.
Donna's on the phone outside.
353
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:52,858
You are listening
354
00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:55,652
to your daughter-in-law's
private conversation?
355
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,738
Oh, please. All moms do it.
356
00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:01,325
Moving back to Point Place
isn't the worst idea.
357
00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:04,995
It'd be great for Leia,
and I think Red's kind of lonely.
358
00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:08,624
Actually, I know he's lonely.
His friend was eaten by a bear.
359
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:13,337
I am a god!
360
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:19,968
Donna and Eric are buying the house
across the street.
361
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,763
They think you're a sad old man.
Isn't that great?
362
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:26,225
Great for you, maybe.
363
00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:30,020
I can't think of anyone
more annoying than Eric.
364
00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:31,103
So what do you say?
365
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:39,613
Well, I got a full body wax
scheduled tomorrow, but... I'll cancel.
366
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:41,531
I hope you don't mind.
367
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:43,200
I'm coming in fluffy.
368
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:50,831
It's happening!
369
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,004
Pick up, Freaky Freddy! Pick up, Turd!
370
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:59,007
How do you care so much?
It's just the Spice Girls.
371
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,469
WFPP, congratulations.
You're our tenth caller.
372
00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:05,597
- I won!
- Please hold for Freddy and the Turd.
373
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,308
I never should've doubted you.
Everything's taken care of.
374
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,852
Nikki and Jay will never find out
about Nate and me.
375
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,230
Whoa, Turd! Did you hear that?
376
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:16,608
Nikki and Jay are gonna be pissed.
You know what that means?
377
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,944
Double flush!
378
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,113
I'm on the radio?!
379
00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:24,992
My tickets!
380
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:26,617
Don't panic.
381
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:29,204
They probably weren't listening.
382
00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:35,669
That was crazy.
383
00:21:35,752 --> 00:21:37,629
Turd never does a double flush.
384
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,888
It's cool. I landed on the ground.
385
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:48,723
You're dead!
29493
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