All language subtitles for Swan.Song.2023.720p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264

Ladies and gentlemen, this
is your 15-minute call.

Fifteen minutes, please,
to the top of Act 1.

The stage is available.

Thank you.

Toi, toi, ladies.

It's gonna be
amazing. Have fun.

Thanks for everything, Rob.

Thank you.

We're gonna be
really fucking good.

I have no doubt. I am pumped.

Yeah, as you should be.

No, like, we're
ready, we're there.

Yeah.

It's gonna be great. Have fun.

Will you read it to us?

"Dear dancers.

"Thank you for all
of your hard work,

"creativity, and
brilliant dancing.

"It has been a
privilege and a pleasure

"creating this ballet with you.

"Sincerely, Rob."

"Thank you for being so
responsive and adaptive

"to the 35 million changes
we've made to this ballet

- "in the last three months."
- In the last two days!

Yeah!

"Thank you for all the
stress you've endured

"and for all the
tears you've cried.

"They mean a lot to me."

Thank you for joining us

for the world premiere of our
new production of Swan Lake.

You know, the announcement

of the new season and so forth,

I think... personally,
I think we all know

that it's likely that
we're gonna cancel

the March and June season as
they're currently announced,

and I think we need to
make that announcement

sooner than December.

I know we had always
sort of targeted

the beginning of December,

but I think for a
variety of reasons,

it's too hard...

Well, here's the thing.

We had just done
Swan Lake at the Met,

and I had danced
with Rudolf Nureyev,

and he said, "Come
with me, come with me.

"We go party, we go party."

I'm doing a terrible,
terrible imitation of him!

No, I love it.

So, he has this limo
take us over there.

And he takes me up, we
go up in this elevator

in this fancy building,
and the door opens,

and it's packed full of people.

There's bowls of cocaine
on the tables, and caviar,

and people... there's every
rock star you've ever...

it's a zoo!

I am wandering through this,
no... like I'm in a movie.

I'm just wandering
through this place.

And I meet Andy and he says,

"She looks like an angel."

And, um...

So I waited there, and he asked
me to put my hands like this,

and he mumbled and he
walked all around me,

and he took pictures
from all angles,

and he disappeared.

And that was it.

I just hated it.

I just was like, "Oh,
all that glitter, ugh!"

You know? Like...

Karen Kain is one of the biggest

international ballet stars ever,

like up there with
Rudolf Nureyev

and Margot Fonteyn.

She is completely a legend.

When I go work in Russia,

still the only ballet
name they know is

"Karen Kain."

She's beloved.

She's like the Princess
Diana of Canada.

Everything that woman
touches turns to gold,

whether it's performing or
being an artistic director.

This year was a culmination
of so many things,

for me personally and for the
National Ballet of Canada.

But 50 years with the company,

in my capacity as a dancer
and then artistic director,

it's really time
for me to retire.

We needed a new Swan
Lake, and I thought,

"I want to try to find
the courage to do this."

That, some fan gave me
and I don't like it.

But I didn't know what to do
with it, so I stuck it up there.

I am directing for
the first time.

I admit that I
have no experience,

but I guess I felt that at
this point in my career,

if I felt this strongly
about this ballet,

this would be the
only time I would ever

have a chance to do it.

I have to feel just so...

brave, going forward to do this.

I-I...

It has to be a success.

It has to be.

Thank you for calling

the National Ballet.
This is Karen Kain.

Our offices are now closed.

Please listen carefully, as
some of our voicemail options

have recently changed...

So, every ballet company,

we have a hierarchy from
apprentices, or junior company,

to corps de ballet, to
demi-soloist, to a soloist,

to a first soloist, and
principal ballerina,

and then so-called étoile,

or internationally
acclaimed dancer

that travels around the
world as a guest ballerina.

So, um, I think I've been
fortunate in my career

to be the... the...

the principal ballerina

and internationally acclaimed
ballerina worldwide.

This will be my tenth different
production of Swan Lake.

Swan Lake is the ballet
I have performed the most

around the world.

Swan Lake has definitely been
always somehow my ballet,

so, um, I do expect to
dance as Swan Queen.

Oh.

See?

You can't hold the horse back.

What did he tell you?

- What did you tell them?
- Just say "yes."

In general, in
the Western world,

I mean especially here,

in everything is so many
activities for kids, right?

I didn't grow up with that.

I grew up with just,
like, if you do something,

you do it seriously,
not as a hobby.

I had to fight for everything.

From the first day of even
getting the ballet school,

I had to even fight for that.

When I look back how I started,
I just could never even imagine

that this is the life
I would be living.

Oh, that was hard!

I love Swan Lake.

I mean, it's just a
classic, you know?

The only thing I
want in my whole life

is to be a principal dancer.

But I'm not, like,
at that level...

yet, so...

I will be the nice, like,

30-second duck in the
back of the stage.

Okay, Google, how's the weather?

Currently in Toronto,

it's 62 degrees
and mostly sunny.

There's Cheez-Its in here

if you guys want any
morning Cheez-Its.

Okay, Google, what
does it all mean?

Just kidding. It
can't tell me.

According to Google Books,

should the hard questions
of philosophy matter

to ordinary people?

In this down-to-earth,
non-historical guide...

I was born in
Nacogdoches, Texas.

Very Bible Belt.

Maybe not white
trash, but eggshell!

You were an Army brat, right?

Yeah!

Still am.

My whole wall in my
bedroom was, like,

plastered with ballet pictures,

just, like, from top to bottom.

I didn't, like, give
myself another option.

I was just like, "I'm going
to be a ballet dancer."

I will always be hoping that

somebody is gonna see
something good in me, you know?

Um, but it's...

not really that simple.

It's been more than two years

that we've been talking
about Swan Lake, and...

I think in my mind, just to
make it easier for myself,

I just kind of let
it go, thinking,

"It's not gonna happen."

I can't believe we're
finally getting to do this.

The stop-and-start,

the excitement and
the disappointment.

The first thing is to
take off the cat sneakers

and put on the dance sneakers.

There are Swan Lakes
all over the world

and they're danced beautifully,

but I'm tired of
looking at things

that are academic exercises.

I want to be moved.

It's theatre...

You know? I want to cry.

The music starts, it's the
key for me to everything.

I hear the music...

my body can remember everything.

I can feel the
coordination inside...

and can remember every
step on every note...

that you haven't even thought
about for so many years.

But it's still there, in
some part of your brain.

It's still there.

Ayano?

How're you doing?

Good. What do you want to do?

Yeah, yeah. No,
we should go slow.

How's your foot?

Good, good.

How's it feeling?

Yeah?

So, we will do Leighlynn 16,

Monika 17, Shae 18,
Jackie 19, Maya...

Maya 20, uh,

Jeannine 21, Jenna 22,

Tene 23, and Kate 24.

All good?

Come on!

The first meeting we had,

Karen just sat me down and
said, "Okay, I need your help.

"I need you to make
sure that young people

"aren't gonna think
this is stupid."

Which is at once,
like, a very simple

and very difficult
brief to be given.

I've never considered myself

a choreographer.

I knew that I needed someone
who could actually choreograph

the new sections.

Robert Binet is a wonderful
young choreographer,

and I think he can do
some amazing formations

with the swans, making it
a little more of today.

Five, a-six, other one...

One-a-two, three-and-a-four,
five-a-six, seven, eight.

Now we're crossing
to get to two lines.

Five, six, seven, eight...

Go one-a-two, three-a-four,
five-a-six, seven-a-eight.

One, two...

Any time you go
and see the ballet,

so, for example, Swan Lake,

and you see all
the swans on stage,

that's the corps.

It means the body
of the company.

I don't think you really
can have a beautiful ballet

without the corps.

One-a-two, three-a-four...

go, Jeannine...
five-a-six, seven-a...

that's gonna look better.

Being part of the
corps de ballet

means that you are just
full-throttle all the time.

You are in every single show.

Arielle, move
forwards a little bit.

I was just, like, dying.

Like, my arm felt like
it was gonna fall off.

They think you're doing it,

and then they're
like, "No, uh, hmm,"

and then they start
picking it apart.

Space for your head,
Erin, and your elbow.

The arm extension, the hand...

There's so many details that
go into, like, just to stand.

Good, that's rhythm, ladies!

Good!

Like, and corps work is
not always about, like,

pulling your dick out and
doing 12 pirouettes, you know?

It's literally like, "Oh,"
like, "Can you please stand

"on that mark that we
told you 17 times?"

Keep the arms moving...

Better!

Up!

Down!

Up!

That unison, the
duration, the stillness...

So many things that are
so difficult about ballet,

that make ballet so beautiful
to watch, are in that ballet.

And if I go to see Swan
Lake, it's for the corps.

Every damn hand of
the corps de ballet

better be exactly where
everyone else's damn hand is

in the corps de ballet.

If they're not together,
I get really cranky.

So, and one, and
two, and a-three,

and a-four, and a-five.

- It wasn't together at all.
- It was just visual before.

Working on Swan Lake, you know,

all the formations
have to be perfect,

and they have to
resolve perfectly

with the tallest
people in the back

and the shortest
people in the front.

You know, it doesn't matter how
good the principal dancer is.

If the corps de ballet around
them is a mess, the show's bad.

And that's something Karen
is really adamant about,

that, like, the corps de
ballet level has to be so high.

Let's try that
same section again.

Thank you, ladies.

So, in terms of casting,

well, we've got
first cast Jurgita,

Harrison with Jurgita, and
then Brendan with Heather,

and then we've got Guillaume,
Naoya, Donald, Chris.

And then understudying with
have both Ben and Siphe.

The principal dancer

who dances Odette and Odile,

the White Swan and
the Black Swan,

has to have a huge
number of qualities

because they demand
completely different things.

This kind of dichotomy of
this beautiful, gentle,

spiritual White Swan,

and then this cunning
and seductive Black Swan,

it's a very demanding role.

That's why people really want
to test themselves against it.

Well, and if I could work
with Jurgita on, like,

incidental Odette stuff, it
would be great to have time,

'cause she's our
first cast, to, like,

experiment and
play with the mime

and how she's gonna do
the whole crown, and...

Yeah, and she's got so many
other versions in her head.

- Yeah, she'll have ideas.
- But I don't...

I don't want to do
those other versions.

- No.
- I might!

I might. She
might convince me.

- Yeah.
- She's very convincing.

- This was okay, I think.
- Mm-hm.

And pendulum up and down...

and this one's down.
Down, down, down...

I think just step...
step is not enough,

but I think you
might need a little,

"Dee, dee, dah,
dah, dah," run, run.

Because you used to
do this right away,

"dee, dah, dah, dah"...

We didn't have the temps
levés, and I think that...

Now you go.

That's it.

Well, the impact of
the first cast matters,

because it's, you know,
the moment where...

where the production's unveiled.

Um...

Everything.

Jurgita, you know when
you... before you start

to come to him for the first
time, don't run so far.

- Okay.
- You know?

I'm trying to get to the centre,

so the girls are
around and I see them

being in this position.

Oh, okay, well, then
I'll see with everyone.

Me and Karen, we're very
different ballerinas.

It's definitely going to
be interesting, of... of...

what she wants to see,

and how can I make it mine.

Are you... are you saying
that I insisted on that?

No, no, no, this is the
right what we agreed.

This is what we did.

It's lovely. Let's leave it.

Okay, alright.

We're not gonna
change it. Go back.

Okay.

I know what it's like.

Once you've got it figured
out, and it works for you,

and you've been
successful a certain way,

you... you wanna do that.

And I wanted it a
little different.

It wasn't a lot different,
but it was a little different.

Jurgita...

Why don't you
bravely try doubles?

Well, rond a little more.

Just rond a little...
relax your knee.

Are you?

It looks like a
really good single.

Okay, just think, "In, in, up!"

No, it can't be on the floor.

Nobody... nobody in the
world does them on the floor.

- Up, up...
- Brush, in, in, up.

In, in, up.

One second.

It's just doing
them quick enough

that you don't
knock yourself over.

If you do them slow,
it takes too much time.

And one, that's it!

And one...

One...

- This is what I like.
- Yeah.

Yeah, this is...

this is exactly right,
what they're doing.

I don't know what everybody is
doing, but that's exactly...

This is what I like.

This is what I like too.

Want to do your solo?
You have four minutes.

I just wanna do the beginning.

Okay.

Okay, yeah.

And...

Jurgita Dronina...

She's kind of extraordinary.

Well, she's a pretty
major ballerina.

She's an animal! Like,
she eats the stage.

People all over the
world know who she is.

When she's on the stage, like,

you can fucking, like, feel.

She used to do a performance

of Sugar Plum Fairy in
the Nutcracker here,

go to the airport, get on
a night flight to London...

In the makeup still...

Get off the plane,
go to the theatre...

- Warm up...
- Do the show there...

Run straight to the airport,

take the flight overnight,
sleep on the flight,

and the next day perform.

Never heard of anyone
else doing that!

I was born in Saratov in Russia.

Our relatives in Lithuania

said that the Soviet Union
was going to collapse.

And we better get back
to Lithuania, ASAP.

She packed the bags.

Soviet Union
collapsed... war, tanks.

That was the
beginning of the end.

By this evening, the
demonstrators outside

the Lubyanka were
beginning to claim Moscow

as their own.

When my father
arrived to Lithuania,

he did not fit in.

Our life changed from
being a normal family

to a very violent
and abusive family.

We lost literally everything.

We lost all the documents;
we lost housing.

We lost everything,
he burned everything.

We were on the street.

And we literally sent
my father away by train,

and we said, "Please
never come back.

"Please promise to
never, ever be back."

And that's when the story came

that I was given a chance
to go to ballet school

and live in the dorm instead.

And have food!

Have electricity, and have
a chance to create a life.

That childhood has
formed her as a mother,

as a wife, and
definitely as a dancer.

You can't hide who you
are when you're on stage,

because she's seen stuff
that, as kids, not many have.

It was not just doing a
pink tutu and ribbons dance.

I saw it as a way of living.

We're talking weeks now

before we'd have to start,
you know, distributing tights.

And why can't we
just have bare legs?

We can.

I mean, maybe I won't like it,

but I-I watch it in
contemporary works

and I think it looks fantastic.

I'm only concerned
that we get there

and a week beforehand,
you just think,

"I would love to
see something else,"

and that we didn't
prepare for that.

If you're ready, that's fine.

It's just that I wanted... I
wanted it to look like skin.

I didn't want it to
look like tights.

No, Karen, I want
exactly what you want.

I only worry for you.

I just got worried
about the idea...

In 2020, we had conversations

with the dancers in the company,

and I had no idea that
this was an issue for them,

but I found out
that wearing tights

that weren't their skin
colour bothered them.

It just never occurred to me.

And then I started
thinking, for Swan Lake,

when they're in the
corps de ballet,

they don't have to
all have pink legs.

That's always been
tradition with Swan Lake.

After the murder of
George Floyd in 2020,

if I had to use one word about

what happened within the world
of ballet, it would be fear.

And that was the fear
of being looked at

very, very, very closely.

The world of ballet is
having a very slow reckoning

with its deep, long
problem of racism.

I think Karen was
called on to address

some biases, especially when
it comes to casting and hiring.

Swan Lake, for hundreds
and hundreds of years,

has been all these women
in pink or white tights,

white tutus, looking identical

and, back in Karen's
day, painted white.

Well, certainly, I've
been on a journey, too.

I mean, I was brought
up on the stereotypes

of how dancers are cast.

We have dancers that are Black,

we have people of colour.

So when you wear, like,
white tights or pink tights

and pink shoes, it's
not one long line,

which was the intention.

And it's frustrating
'cause it's like

a sense of impostor syndrome
that you didn't create.

I really want to try it.

I really want to
seriously try it.

Like, even if we go to
the rough dress and do it.

No, but I think
this is a good plan,

and I think we have
to be very clear,

like us with the dancers,
you with the dancers,

that Karen will
make this decision.

Like, nobody gets to say,
"I want to wear tights,

"I don't want to wear tights."

Like, when we're saying
there's two options,

they are Karen's options;

they are not
everybody's options.

Yeah.

Hey, Mom. Do you
have a minute?

I'm doing Odile. Odette/Odile.

I know!

Like, it's official.

I'm learning it with Chris.

I know!

Oh my God!

I... Oh my gosh.

I know, I can't... It
still hasn't processed yet.

Genevieve's the new one
on the block, as they say!

Each cast needs to
rest between shows,

because it's so demanding.

Otherwise they'll get injured.

So you need at least four casts
to even get through one week.

And then that sort of sits...

I mean, I was thrown into
Swan Lake when I was 19.

Woo, woop! Caught it.

That's okay.

Have fun!

I will.

This is a big opportunity
for me at my age.

Yes, village girl!

I don't think most
people can say

they started their
career with Swan Lake.

Are you from Bridgerton?

Bridgerton, yeah, yeah!

Guys, it's a mermaid!

Whenever you go up the
ranks really quickly,

there's resentment.

And even though they're
all good people,

it's just human nature.

Why, are you trying
to make me a villain?

I actually have to,
like, fight my jealousy

because I know it's not, like,
useful to anyone, you know?

And I am really happy for her

and I know she's
gonna be really good.

But of course, I'm
like so jealous,

and every time I'm like, "Ugh!"

But I know I, like,
could not do it so...

yeah.

Hopefully I'll get to,
like, I don't know,

use some of this 'big
sad' one day on stage.

That's all I can hope for.

And work for.

I should also say I don't really
actually, like, know how to...

um, make anything.

I just, like...

mess around with all of
my stuff all the time.

I was homeschooled,

um...

with a heavy
emphasis on the home,

less of an emphasis
on the schooling.

They were, like, did not
want me or my siblings

to be learning from
a place that, like,

taught or believed in evolution.

They were, like, "The Devil's
work is done in public schools!"

It says, "Socialist,
Marxist, Libertarian, Slut."

That's me!

Hi, Bubba!

Caroline's in Germany.

- How's it going?
- It's good. Look.

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

- Happy Easter!
- Happy Easter.

My mom worked as,
like, the receptionist

at my ballet studio.

My brother and I used
to clean the studios

because we couldn't
afford classes.

I mean, of course
some half-Mexican kid

that's cleaning the studios,
you're gonna be picked on.

I just wanted to fit
into the pink box so bad

when I was little.

I would, like, check the box
with like a cross for Jesus.

I would pray so much just to,
like, not be queer, to, like,

not be sad, to have,

like, my mom be happy.

I would, like,
pray all the time.

For Shae to make it this far

is kind of crazy,

considering what she had
to put herself through

to show up and, like, take
a ballet class every day.

I had to, like, find sponsors

so I could get pointe shoes.

Like, I had to,
like, do fundraising;

I had to work in
my ballet schools.

She is gonna be a
principal dancer

somewhere, sometime, for sure.

There's, like, nothing stopping
her, except, like, herself.

She's incredibly talented,

and she's incredibly
hard on herself,

which is a tough combination.

Being in a room
where I don't belong,

that's been, like, the
thing, since I was a kid.

It's hard, like, to have a
personality that isn't, like...

it's in direct
conflict with, like,

the thing you love most
in the world, you know?

Rothbart represents

the evil quality of men.

You know, you live long
enough and you see the evil

that men are capable of.

It happens in the real world

and it also happens
in this fairy tale.

The resistance of
the corps de ballet

to Rothbart is something
unique to this production,

and it's not totally clear yet.

I need to make it clear and
I'm not totally sure how.

The idea has been that
Rothbart can control

not just the women
but the weather,

and he creates these huge storms

that get more and
more wild and violent,

and we see those in
the shape of the women

because they are
sucked into the storm

and essentially become
the storm unwillingly.

What I really want
to do is make sure

that we can understand
that the swans

are women who have
been abducted,

and they are trapped
women, they're not birds.

They've been forced
to dress a certain way

that appeals to
this very sick man.

Rothbart...

He's abducted these women.

He has abducted them

and he has forced
them to wear...

Yes.

Swan costumes in order
to satisfy his craziness?

Wow, I didn't hear this before.

He's ordered them to
dress a certain way

- because it gets him off.
- Wow.

Oh, I haven't told
you about this!

- No, you haven't!
- Yeah, that's how I'm seeing it.

Okay, I want to do
that whole section

one more time, and
then we'll go on.

You know, every time she comes

to see a section I've
made, I'm nervous,

because, you know, all these big
group numbers are a ton of work

to get them looking
like something.

She's been a mentor
to me my whole career

and has really, like,
guided my development

as a choreographer,

so her liking it is
really special to me.

Um...

Shanae, you're just a
half-beat late there.

I think let's do
that one more time,

'cause it's getting
better every time.

And one-two-three,
two-two-three, three-two-three,

four-two-three, five-two-three,
six-two-three, seven-two-three,

eight-two-three, five-two-three,
two-two-three, three-two-three,

four-two-three,
five-two-three, six-two...

Good.

Uh, was that in front
of Monika that time,

or behind Monika?

Okay. And...

One-two-three, two-two-three,
three-two-three, four-two-three,

five-two-three, six-two-three,
one-two-three, two-two-three,

three-two-three, four-two-three,
five-two-three, six-two-three,

seven-two-three...

Shit, sorry, sorry, sorry.

You just have to
turn around sooner.

Okay, one more time.

I'm just trying to show
them as really human,

right before the end.

We're going far, and we
may have to pull it back,

but it's like they try to...

they try to rebel
against Rothbart

and he knocks them
all to the floor,

and they have this moment where
they're trying to recover,

and then he turns them
back into birds at the end.

- Okay.
- So we're just playing.

Okay, okay.

Okay...

So, five, six, seven, eight...

And one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight...

One, two, three, four...

Good. Thank you!

What do you think?

It's interesting, yeah.

It's interesting?

It's the first time to see it.

Let's try it one more time
with that shift, please.

This was always gonna
be a tricky moment

because Karen's way is always
that she needs to see things

and then make decisions.

But, like, it's such
a gentle evolution.

And so I'm saying,
like, "You see it now.

"What do you want?"

And she's still like, "Well,
I don't really see it yet."

And I'm like, "I know it's
not perfect, but it's there,

"and we need to
start making calls."

Thank you.

Okay, I need to sleep on it.

Do you have any thoughts?

No.

No.

I-I'm just absorbing.

Yeah, same.

Endings are tough.

I did an audition.

Like, I did a proper audition
for the National Ballet at 18.

But then, a year later,

suddenly the ballerinas
were injured,

and we were going on tour,

and I had to learn it.

The whole thing, Swan Lake,
on tour, all over the US.

Not long after that,

Rudolf Nureyev came
to the tour with us,

and from the moment Rudolf
laid his eyes on me,

he decided that I was
going to be his protégé

and he was going to help me.

Reach down, hand.

- Reach down.
- Okay, that'll slow it down.

Rudolf had just filled
my sails with air

and I lived on that
for a number of years.

And then I didn't have
it, and that was hard.

I did not do well.

I quit dancing for a while,

and the love of dance could
not overpower the anxiety

and the feeling that I wasn't
worthy of all of this attention.

Do you overwork?

I felt that I have,
during the last year.

I've just pushed myself almost
to the point of going too far,

and I think this is something
I have to be very careful of.

Something eventually gives out.

If it's... if it's not an
ankle or a knee or a back,

it's your morale that
just drops very low.

When I took over as
artistic director,

we were deeply in debt.

Please join me in welcoming

the new artistic
director, Karen Kain.

We were losing support.

I tried my best to help
keep the company afloat.

I felt desperate to do that
because this organization

has been my life from the
time I was 18 years old,

and it's given me everything.

Sorry.

And, um, I felt it was
going into bankruptcy,

basically, at that point.

There were some very dark days

in my early years as
artistic director.

I was completely terrified.

I would have heart
palpitations, like really bad,

but that was my nature.

I was like that as a child.

You know, it just was who I was.

So I still have
anxiety with Swan Lake,

just with my heart
rate and everything.

The responsibility is enormous.

I was thinking again
today that we thought

we were gonna do
this two years ago.

We would have been more rushed,

but I would have been younger

and would've had
a lot more energy.

Hey!

Hello!

It's so exciting!

It's so pretty!

We're just testing out
to see whether or not

bare legs is gonna
feel comfortable

while we're dancing and
if there's any adjustments

we need to make, or what
we can do so everyone feels

like their best selves.

I hate this.

Oh, no!

Oh my God, cut!

I... no.

No, no, the bare legs.

Oh, I see.

It's very uncomfortable.

Well...

One by one, here we go...

I can't see, like, my
toes, to like, go down.

When I was auditioning

for the Australian
ballet school,

my mom, I was old enough for
her to sort of talk to me

about being a Black woman, like,

in society and all of that,
and she said, you know,

"It is going to
be harder for you

"regardless of what
career you are in;

"it's just going to be harder,

"so as long as you're
prepared to do the work,

"that's all that matters."

Oh, that looks amazing.

Bare legs.

Cut?

Yeah.

The whole idea was that
they're these trapped women

and they all have
different skin colours,

so the discussion is around,

"If we just wear our skin,
my shoes won't match," or...

"What if I'm sweating?"
and, "What if this?"

and, "What if that?"

I know, right?

So, we decided we'd
start Tirion on centre.

And then, I mean, if we can get
all the way to Brenna on centre,

that would be ideal 'cause
then we go back the other way.

And...

It's definitely
been hard to see,

like, the lack of
enthusiasm, I think,

from peers and colleagues.

We're like, "This is
a huge thing for us,

"to finally get to be
ourselves on stage,"

and it looks better
on... in my opinion,

I think it looks
better on everybody.

With ballet, everyone
wants to be...

like, you want to
honour the tradition.

But racism isn't
a good tradition.

I think they look beautiful.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

You happy with the bare legs?

- I am.
- Great.

We'll do it.

So, bare legs means
that everybody

has to pancake their shoes.

Cool.

Okay, so let's go...

Is it okay to let the ladies
get out of costume now?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, so ladies who are in
costume, you can get out.

We're gonna go to the top of
Act 4 and just start putting...

- Hey.
- Hey.

Can we go in the hallway?

- Is that okay?
- Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Sorry.

So, for the costumes, y'all
have like fully decided,

like, no one's
wearing tights, right?

That's what Karen wants.

Okay, 'cause, like, you
know my whole, like,

thing that happened in December?

No.

Where I was, like,
in the hospital.

Oh, I don't have
details, but I mean...

Well, basically I just like,

really, like, I went crazy
and, like, cut my legs

and had to get 75 stitches.

Oh my God.

And it was almost like
to the muscle, so...

I just have like really,
really, like bad scars

- that are still, like, purple.
- Ah, okay.

- Okay.
- And, like, really raised.

Like, I tried to
like cover them,

- but it doesn't do anything.
- Yeah.

- I can, like, take a picture...
- I mean, I believe you.

You don't need to
prove it to me.

Um...

I'll just need to
brainstorm with Stacy.

- Okay, yeah.
- We'll come up with a solution.

Okay, just checking,
'cause I was like...

I don't want it to
be, like, distracting.

No, I mean, I... um...

It's also gonna be about...

like, is it important to
you that they're covered,

or are you worried about us?

Well, it's like... I'm
worried about you guys.

Okay, cool. Thank you so much.

- Sorry, Rob.
- No, don't apologize.

I had a really bad, um,

depressive episode and
I went a little crazy

and slipped back into, um,

some bad habits I had
when I was younger.

We had done the
last show and, like,

I was hanging out with people,
and I got so in my head.

I thought, like,
everyone hated me.

I...

When in reality, I
just hate myself!

Ballet is the only
thing that, like,

helps me, like...

It's like my...

It's like my angel, you know?

But it's also, like,
my fucking demon.

It's, like, amazing
how much she, like,

bounces back, like, every
time something happens.

Like...

She just loves
ballet so much, like,

even though it destroys her.

It's like I'm in, like,

an unrequited love situation.

Like, I love ballet, and
sometimes it feels like

it doesn't love
me back, you know?

Approved?

I have two bad options, so...

the best out of the bad
is to get injection.

Okay, okay...

I don't talk about this injury.

I don't think even my
colleagues really know.

I just don't talk about it.

I just deal with it,
every single day.

I've had this nerve injury
for about eight years.

When the nerve starts
hurting, it causes spasms.

The pain is,

I can't even tell you the
strength of the actual pain.

You scream.

Like day and night, I
would go up the stairs

and I would just
scream from pain.

Sometimes therapy is enough
to release the nerve,

and sometimes it's not,

and then I have to
get an injection.

Sorry, sorry. Come back down.

This injection carries a risk.

It's a trigger point... you
hit one, everything goes.

And Swan Lake is in
two and a half weeks.

Any other person probably would
have stopped a long time ago.

But I refuse because it's
part of me, it's who I am,

it's my identity.

And where I feel human.

What ballet means to me
is so much that, again,

I just refuse to accept this.

It's a massive show,

and it's an important
production, because,

well, there's
Karen's retirement.

Like, there's a lot
of people's life goals

that revolve around
these moments.

We don't really know
how it's going until

we start to put it together
in the theatre next week,

and even then, when we start
to see it under lights,

we won't know till we
try it with the dancers

and with the scenery.

Gabriela's the designer

for this Swan Lake production.

She designs all the
costumes, all the set.

Gabriela has worked
for major shows,

and she's used to having
an unlimited budget.

That's why Andrew
Lloyd Webber loves her!

Yeah.

She certainly has a flair,
from what I've seen.

And, you know, it's
lavish, it's big.

Mm-hm.

Have you been waiting for long?

Yeah?

It's been a hell of a time.

First time I flew
over to Canada,

I flew from Australia to meet
with Karen, and we got on.

We really connected,
and I sort of...

I think I kind of got to

what Karen wanted to
say with the show.

It wasn't just, you
know, "This is Swan Lake

"and we're gonna
have white swans."

The themes were much deeper,

and she was really interested
to explore the darkness

of somebody actually possessing
somebody else's life.

So, today is a
costume run-through.

Um, it's really a chance
for the costume designer

to see everything together,
and it's a good chance for us,

too, to practice putting them
on and seeing how they fit.

That's a snug fit.

I was asked about this
show in my interview

in August 2019,

and it's all I've thought
about until this moment,

so I'm so excited that
it's finally happening.

And I'm just like, "How am I
gonna get through Swan Lake?

"It's so massive."

We need to ask for that.

- Yeah, I can't...
- 'Cause it's like...

This is as high as I go.

Karen, I'm just warning
you, it might be...

because I haven't seen
them all together,

if some of them
jump out too much,

we can always knock them down.

Okay, welcome back.

You look amazing.

We're gonna go from
the top of Act 3.

This is gonna be a
bit more stop-start

'cause we're integrating
some supers into this,

and we re-choreographed
the waltz yesterday.

So, could I have
everyone in place

for the top of the act, please?

It'll be the first
time it goes from,

like, a series of dances
to a story, is the hope.

And making sure the
story comes through

is the most important thing.

Let's do the circle again.

Ladies, we need to do it
faster if the music's faster.

Go back the other way, supers!

It is chaos right now.

We didn't have space
to do our dance,

and then our costumes
fuck us over so much.

You see the frustration

for the performers, too,
because it just feels like

it's so much harder, or
the costume's in the way.

It just feels different.

Okay, we're going to keep going.

We're gonna give
you your five now,

and then some time
to get into costume.

I'm gonna throw up!

- Take care.
- Uh-huh.

And I've decided to
let them all have

their natural colour skin...

Yeah.

Like, not make them, even
as swans, wear white.

- Yeah, I think Stacy told me.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- So I think this is...

Yeah, and I've heard
there's possible issues

with some girls because...

Yeah, well, we'll see,
but I think it's more

contemporary to do that.

Mm-hm.

I mean, if you're going to
have certain skin colour...

Then why are you putting tights?

Why would you have white tights?

- Yeah, true.
- So...

Yeah.

She's caught.

They do a lot.

They dance a lot.

Corps de ballet works
like... they work like dogs.

I do feel every day like

we're balancing on, like,

the tip of a razor blade,
because it's this thing

where you have to push
hard enough to get there,

but not so hard people get hurt.

Oh...

But it's also like,

Karen's looking at me
like, "This is a mess."

And I'm like, "I know.
Can't address that now."

It's just still a lot of
question marks for me,

you know, at this moment in it,

and I'm really anxious.

Dancers, you're all excused!

Thank you very much!

Oof!

- A lot of work to do.
- Yep.

The fourth act...

Ti! Get it together!

You're gonna flood this place!

This part makes me nervous,

more than, like,
the actual shows.

We're just, like,
doing more, and, like,

bodies are more tired, and...

brains are not working.

'Cause everything just
starts hurting more.

The move into theatre is always

an adjustment for everyone.

It's like a different life there

than the life here
in the studio.

Two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight.

Okay, let's go back to...

The lights are coming at you

from different sides,

and the set is in a
place you didn't expect.

You've got a different hurdle.

Punk rock.

Yeah!

Like, there's just so
many things to adapt to

before they go in front
of thousands of people

and do really hard things.

And then...

Coming right down, yes.

Okay, that'll work. Thank you.

We're gonna go back
to after the coda...

The stage is really
revealing for corps work

because you suddenly pick
up on these differences

and inconsistencies that
you didn't in the studio.

Two, three, four...

And it's also like,

the corps is what
makes Swan Lake.

To me, they're the
star of the show.

I need to, like,
get into the circle.

Over by Tene and Jenna,
can you open the circle...

I go directly into the wing.

Yes?

We were just thinking they
might be going into the wing.

There's a spike there.

Everyone wants the best.

But it's hard when there's
so many different voices.

I walked all the way over there

and I could see her...

Nan... Nan? Is it possible...

It's bumpy, but...

today I have to
push really hard.

I know that if I can get to
a place where everyone knows

where they're supposed to be,

at least they can
focus on their dancing

and not wonder what
the fuck is going on.

Just keep hiding, get
behind that centre line...

no, no.

Stay behind them. That's it.

Stay hidden.

Just criss-cross. And it's
quite heavy, this one.

So it better be attached well.

It's one of the hardest days

because you're just
in the theatre all day

from morning till evening,

and not knowing when
you're gonna go on.

So you just wait for your
entrance while they stop and go,

stop and go, it doesn't
work, changes, entrances...

Just embody what Karen
believes that Swan Lake is.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four...

It's gonna be painfully slow.

- I'm prepared.
- Are you?

I need to see all my
courtier supers on stage.

We're going to place you...

Okay, courtiers, let's
go to where we think

- we're supposed to be.
- Good lord...

So, peacock is
furthest that way.

So we need to go
butterfly and peacock.

Then mermaid.

Then swan.

And musicians.

Then gingerbread, unicorn,

Queen of Hearts.

I think that looks too far on.

I think it looks
too far on, too.

Rob, I think it's too far on.

Vanessa, you need to get the
up faster to conceal her.

Yes, Jurgita?

Do you want to try the
whole entrance again?

Okay, we'll go from
the same place again.

I have no space.

I've always been at the
side of the choreographers

who came to work with us.

I've never been fully
responsible for it before.

That's the difference.

And boy, it's a big difference.

Um, they have to come in
earlier for the fouettés,

because I'm standing
there, it's my music to go,

I've barely made it, and
I have to start going.

- Yeah.
- It's ridiculous.

We'll fix it, we'll fix it.

We'll fix it, don't
worry! We'll fix it.

- Um, yeah, thank you.
- Okay.

Mostly I see what isn't working,

as opposed to what is,

and then I try to tell myself
to look at what is working.

And snap out of it!

I was so happy to see
Genevieve this afternoon,

even though it's her
first time on the stage

in the lights and all that.

If the worst happened

and Jurgita couldn't perform,

I would sit down with Rob
and the artistic staff

and I would listen to
all of their advice,

and then I would
make up my own mind

about who I would give
that opportunity to.

I...

I would like to.

I'm probably getting
an injection.

If the injection has the outcome

that I don't want it to have
and I don't do the shows,

then I'm done.

Okay?

It's not fair.

- Not wearing a vest, no.
- Muscley...

No, not wearing a vest.
A muscley guy with a dog.

I feel like you would
date like a, like...

"Hmm, I wear a
watch all the time."

I feel like you would
definitely date a guy

who wears, like, a big watch.

Absolutely!

You're like, "Money, money,
money, money, money!"

No, not about the money,
but it's just, like,

a watch is important!

This is what it looks like

to actively be overcoming
your eating disorders.

High five.

I think we're all capable of it.

- Yeah, definitely.
- That's the thing.

So it's just like we have to
save ourselves so that we can

- make it to opening night.
- Yeah.

And I feel like it's
especially hard for, like,

people our age to save
ourselves because, like...

Well, yeah, you're just
trying to prove yourself

- all the time, yeah.
- There's, like, pressure

to prove yourself and do
everything always 100% full-out.

- Yeah.
- And you're like...

"I'm gonna fucking break
my foot again," you know?

Mm-hm.

Yeah, it's finding
the balance of, like,

saving yourself but also
doing your best every time.

Yeah.

And every show.

Bourrées, fast bourrées, ladies.

Good. Energy in the back leg!

Better, good!

Mind the arms on
those piqué turns!

What fucking arms?

And up on jeté will
help the landing.

I'm gonna fucking sprain
my ankle doing this.

Nice clean lines.

I was like...

It's really demanding,

really demanding, both
technically and physically.

But the corps' been quite rough.

That was much better.

Yeah? Pssht.

Good, 'cause it
doesn't feel better.

Tene wore her Apple watch

during the fourth act

and realized that,
uh, she ran 5K.

Then we had to do it
again for every principal.

So something like that, it's
pretty brutal on your body.

Uh, Maya in the back,
you were just a bit...

Somehow this diagonal...

This is not right.

Death. Slow death.

Tene told us that she
had a pedometer on,

and during Act 4 they run 5K.

Wow.

I think that's where, when
you sign on the dotted line,

that's what you were in for!

How's it going?

It's going.

I guess.

It's kind of like a
shit show right now.

It's, like, crazy and chaotic,

and I'm like so anxious and
all of the girls are like...

They're just like...

It feels like we're just
working and working and working

our bodies and not
actually fixing anything.

And, like...

there's, like, a
disconnect somewhere,

between, like, the staff
and us, it feels like.

So it's, like, stressful and...

I don't know.

All of us are just, like,
crumbling, you know?

There have been a
couple of nights

that I just went home
and Ross was like,

"How's it going?" you know?

And I'm like...

"Not well!"

Um, and then, of course,
I can't sleep, so, um...

I just...

Just a million thoughts
going through my head about

what we can do,
how we can route...

you know, re-synch some bits,

and other things, going,

"I think that should work,
but it's not working."

They did it right
yesterday afternoon,

one of them, and I thought,

"Okay, we're getting
closer to this moment."

There's one that
I love already...

I always wait for it...
it's when all the women,

they're all huddled
together across the back,

and they're
consoling each other.

Those moments for
me are so important.

They hit you in a
way, if you see them,

they hit you in a way
that nothing else can.

I also think I've never seen
that done in any Swan Lake.

It's just always
perfect swans and lines,

and everybody dances well.

But here, there are moments
when they stop just being

incredible dancers and
they become human beings.

So, last time I used a
slightly thicker needle,

so I'm purposefully using
a thinner needle today,

just so you know, because...

As long as it does the same job.

Yeah. "Just fix it!"

Just fix it!

There we are.

So, when I went
to get injection,

the doctor suggested to
do only partial injection,

to just relieve the nerve enough

but not deactivate the muscle.

The next day, I knew
that I'm gonna be fine.

That's much better.

Just wish I would have
had that answer before.

So I'm just grateful

that events aligned itself
that I can dance today.

Incredibly thankful that I
did not do the full injection

'cause I wouldn't
be able to dance.

Enjoy. Okay?

You enjoy.

- I will.
- Good, I hope so.

If not, you'll tell me.

Fun games that we play.

I don't think this is something
we should be super proud of,

- but it's our Advil tally!
- You could duct tape it.

Oh yeah, maybe I'll just
tape it to the door.

It has to be taken
in this building,

and then depending on how much
you're taking you get, like,

1 point, 2 points,
or 2.5 points.

It's starting today
because of opening night.

Opening night is
always weird for me

because it's the
first time that, like,

I don't have a microphone!

I can't say anything.

Like, if something's
wrong, I can't fix it.

So it's really, like...

a big, for me, like
just handing over

all my trust to the dancers.

I'm really reckoning with,

like, how hard I push them,

but I hope that they know

that I am asking
all this of them

because I see, like,

limitless potential in
what they do as a group.

And I think that
ultimately, like,

it is the most powerful
force on stage.

But all of these
women want so much,

which is also why it's so good

and why they push
themselves so hard.

Okay, I gotta... I
gotta go and warm up,

but I'll chat to you soon.

Alright, love you. Bye.

But yeah, this
question of, like,

"What's worth it,
and what's too much?"

is kind of like one of
the endless challenges

in ballet.

And it's like, "Okay, yeah,
they all agreed to it."

That doesn't necessarily
make it right.

Toi, toi, ladies.

Um...

it was not a good rehearsal.

You know what they
always say, that...

Mmm, we hope!

Tough dress rehearsal,
great opening night.

So we're really hoping
for the best for tonight.

It's sold incredibly well.

It's probably also that
people are just really anxious

to see dance again.

But this is the best sales
we've had in a long time.

Well...

Well, I think Swan Lake
is a pretty compelling...

Take some credit
for once, woman!

We've waited two and a
half years to do this,

so there's a lot riding
on this emotionally.

And the artists, you know, they
have to rise to that level.

It's now in their hands.

There's nothing I can do.

Thank you for joining us

for the world premiere of our
new production of Swan Lake.

Yes!

Just for the next one.

It's fine, it's okay.

Let's save her!

Let's help her!

You were so good.

- Thank you.
- Muah!

Thank you.

When I started ballet,

I just could never even
imagine that this is the life

I would be living.

I made it from zero.

Those memories of stepping
on stage when I was nine

to what I do now,
it makes sense.

I let go, I risk...

I'm a soul on stage.

And, you know, every second,

I believed every
second of what you did.

- Thank you.
- Every second.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- I poured my heart.
- You sure did.

You were amazing, all of you!

All of you, thank you so much!

All your hard work.

Just so beautiful.

It came so far.

Thank you so much, ladies.

I hope you enjoyed
it a little bit.

A lot?

Muah!

Really fantastic
corps de ballet.

Thank you all.

I loved it.

I think everyone looks
amazing without the tights.

I even had friends that watched
that thought it was beautiful

and were shocked that this
wasn't just the normal thing

that we do.

And I was like, "No,
guys, this is the first

"classical ballet that
is not requiring us to

"change half of ourselves
or be anything else."

Like, we are actually just us.

One, two, three...

- Are you okay?
- Yes!

Don't you fuckin'
dare hurt yourself!

Thank you so much, Rob.

Thank you. You
guys were amazing.

- You had fun?
- Yes.

Good. Act 4 was like...

I feel like we all were like...

Hello, sweetheart!

- Did you have a good time?
- The best time.

- It was beautiful, wasn't it?
- It was fantastic.

Congrats on your
first Swan Lake.

Thank you.

Do I look cranky?

I mean pretty.

I'm the ugly ducking.

I just want to,
like, bow by myself.

One day I'm gonna fucking do it.

I just need to figure out how to
not hold myself back, I think.

And I need to just be like,

try and believe people when they
say nice stuff to me, you know?

Ballet is punk rock as fuck.

Nobody wants to admit
it, but it's true.

It's a one-in-a-lifetime
experience,

to be part of something so big

and be trusted with the choices
I make artistically on stage.

I know that I did my best

in trying to make
her vision alive.

Long lift?

For now, I have still another

eight to ten years
to dance, hopefully.

It will be time to
transition from dance.

But not yet.

Congratulations.

Oh!

Fantastic. They were
fantastic, yeah.

It just went another level.

I mean, finally, it all...

No, no, it just
takes time, yeah.

Well, thank God it was
tonight that it gelled...

Yeah, I know!

I was thinking maybe next week
it'll gel, after yesterday.

Remember when you
said, "Show ten"?

"Show ten, it's
gonna be great!"

We got show one!

But, you know, I came
expecting to, you know,

have to accept that some things
were gonna be a little bit iffy.

- Yeah, and it was...
- And nothing was iffy.

- Yeah, yeah.
- That's a miracle.

Agreed, agreed!

That's hard work.

It's hard work!

I'm ecstatic.

I mean, they all danced
their little hearts out.

It was just...

Yeah, I was, like... I
could barely move, I was...

[indistinct conversation
in background

They pulled me in to the drama.

Just the way I wanted!

I am so happy and I haven't
even had a drink yet!

Oh, the "Story About Me"?

This is my book, "A
Story About Me"...

by Karen Kain!

"When I grow up, I'm
going to be a ballerina.

"I could go out every
night and dance."

Only I said "dace."

"I will be in 'Giselle.'

"It will be so much
fun being a ballerina."

"Dancing is never really fun."

Oh, dear!

Did you say that?

I guess I did.

"Sometimes afterwards,
you can say,

'That was a really
good experience

'and I really enjoyed it.'

"But you're concentrating
so hard on what you're doing

"that the only time
it's ever really fun

"is when you're feeling no pain

"and things seem
to be going well."

So...

I was 27.

I'd forgotten all this stuff.

Oh my God, well...

Oh, this is when we were
filming Giselle, I think.

Oh, this is Frank and I.
Oh my God, we're so young.

Yeah, this is like the final...

the final moments in Swan Lake.

The last... the last Swan Lake.