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1
00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:05,048
(jazz music playing)
2
00:00:05,072 --> 00:00:09,085
Has anyone seen
my Tropical Getaways brochure?
3
00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:11,154
You know, B,
you didn't have to steal it.
4
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,322
I was gonna donate it
5
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,306
to the library
under your mattress.
6
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:18,361
Wait a minute,
this isn't my trig book.
7
00:00:18,385 --> 00:00:20,130
Yeah.
8
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:22,766
Uh, guys come up
with the lamest excuses.
9
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,400
Oh, yeah.
Like when you told me
10
00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:26,502
that you had that whisker burn
all over your face
11
00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:27,737
from kissing my mother?
12
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:28,961
Hello.
13
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,663
Fran, that really happened.
14
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:35,600
Oh, well,
I'll give you that one.
15
00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,349
I wish I could get away
for the holidays,
16
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,517
but I just have
so much work to do.
17
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:44,221
♪ Cheers, gotta keep that
nose so bright. ♪
18
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,285
♪ Don't you guide
a sleigh that night? ♪♪
19
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,158
Ah, ha ha.
Oh.
20
00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:51,127
(coughs)
21
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,484
I've gotta get that flu shot.
22
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:55,532
Fran, does this mean
23
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,767
that you won't be
with us for Christmas?
24
00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,202
No, sweetie.
25
00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:03,239
Your father and I are taking
separate vacations this year.
26
00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:05,008
You know, sometimes,
when two people
27
00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,043
spend a lot of time together,
28
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,033
and one's not willing to commit,
29
00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:12,548
the other has to take the money
30
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,517
that she would've
spent on her trousseau,
31
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,674
and drown her sorrows
in Bahama Mamas.
32
00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:19,456
You know, it's okay, Fran.
33
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,791
It's not like
you and daddy are married.
34
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:23,059
Or dating, or even...
35
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,083
Babbling, sweetie.
36
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,296
Miss Fine, this is ridiculous.
37
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:30,166
We don't have to take
separate vacations.
38
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,469
Look, I really think that
it'll be better for us.
39
00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:34,070
And I don't wanna
argue about it,
40
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,205
'cause my mind's made up.
41
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,439
Well, it's a shame.
42
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,141
I was thinking of
chartering a yacht
43
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,343
and cruising off
the Greek islands.
44
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,633
Well, nothing's set in stone.
45
00:01:43,838 --> 00:01:46,783
Well, I'd like to discuss this
with you in private.
46
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,385
If that's all right
with you two.
47
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,729
- Er, are you talkin' to me?
- Oh, did you say something?
48
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:53,586
Come on, let's go to my office.
49
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:56,526
Whoa, Nellie!
50
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,061
Don't you know,
it's terribly impolite
51
00:01:58,085 --> 00:02:00,197
to listen in
on other people's conversations?
52
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:03,322
This, from the man
who posed for the RCA dog.
53
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,405
Now, let go of me,
I don't wanna miss this.
54
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,640
All right,
but be careful, I just...
55
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:12,041
(screams)
56
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,609
(glass breaking)
57
00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:14,967
waxed the floor.
58
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:23,052
♪ She was working in a bridal
shop in Flushing Queens ♪
59
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,454
♪ Till her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪
60
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:26,022
♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪
61
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:28,057
♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪
62
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:31,260
♪ She was out
on her fanny ♪
63
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,697
♪ So over the bridgefrom Flushingto the Sheffield's door ♪
64
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:36,266
♪ She was there to sell
makeup, but father saw more ♪
65
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,435
♪ She had style, she had
flair, she was there ♪
66
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:42,171
♪ That's how she became
The Nanny ♪
67
00:02:42,195 --> 00:02:45,108
♪ Who would have guessed that
the girl we've described ♪
68
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,310
♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪
69
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,578
♪ Now the father finds
her beguiling ♪
70
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,113
♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪
71
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,515
♪ And the kids are
actually smiling ♪
72
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:52,616
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
73
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,151
♪ She is the lady in red ♪
74
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:58,421
♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪
75
00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:00,290
♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪
76
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,013
♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪♪
77
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,164
I just don't understand
78
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,033
why you're suddenly taking
a separate vacation.
79
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:12,601
What is the big deal?
80
00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:15,138
It's not like we're one of those
needy, co-dependent couples
81
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,605
that have to spend
every waking moment
82
00:03:16,629 --> 00:03:18,241
with each other, right?
83
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:19,265
Where're you going?
84
00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:24,246
I just think the holidays are
a time for us to be together.
85
00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,749
Like a, a warm, loving family.
86
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,217
Well, I got news for you.
87
00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:32,055
A warm, loving family requires
a legally-binding certificate,
88
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,356
registered with the State.
89
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,380
And Pottery Barn.
90
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,530
Besides, what is this
unnatural obsession with you
91
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,133
not wanting me
to take a vacation by myself?
92
00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:45,135
Oh, well,
now I have absolutely no idea
93
00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:46,402
what you're talking about.
94
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,571
Oh, ho, no?
95
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:51,674
I'm taking the entire family
on a cruise.
96
00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:52,742
Where're you goin'?
97
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,210
The Caribbean.
98
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,179
That's fabulous!
99
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,447
Just like me.
100
00:03:57,471 --> 00:04:00,049
I know, we're coming with you.
101
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,073
What?
102
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:06,056
Now, Miss Fine,
wasn't it your idea,
103
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,359
that Brighton should have
a big, Bar Mitzvah like to-do?
104
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:13,330
Yeah, Bar Mitzvah on land.
105
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:17,033
We're desert people,
we don't like to get wet.
106
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,991
That's why we parted
the Red Sea.
107
00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:22,439
Huh.
Well, hmm, that, well...
108
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:25,007
Why can't you just be honest,
Mr. Sheffield?
109
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:29,345
The reason why you don't want me
going on a vacation alone,
110
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:32,782
is because you are terrified
that I'm gonna meet someone.
111
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,151
- Huh.
- Yes, you are always
sabotaging my dates.
112
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,853
Oh, that is ridiculous.
113
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:38,221
Every one of your dates
I've been on,
114
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:40,245
I've behaved like
a perfect gentleman.
115
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,494
You know, Maxwell,
you're welcome to join us.
116
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,451
Oh.
Ah, well, that sounds...
117
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:52,902
Mm, terribly inconvenient,
couldn't possibly. Good night.
118
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,004
Are you sure?
119
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,394
Well, actually, ah...
120
00:04:58,932 --> 00:04:59,976
What kind of car does he drive?
121
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,478
- A limo.
- Oh, town car?
122
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,013
Stretch, it's enormous.
123
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,037
Bigger than mine?
124
00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:10,086
If it's so important to you,
125
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,554
whip yours out of the garage,
126
00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:13,945
and we'll have
a limo measuring contest.
127
00:05:16,416 --> 00:05:17,960
All right, fine.
128
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,930
Take your vacation
in some tacky resort,
129
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,465
with it's tequila-shooter night,
130
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,924
and, oh, yes,
a big Macarena marathon.
131
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,372
For your information,
132
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:32,008
this place happens to be
nothing like that.
133
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,910
It's very, very classy.
134
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,435
Oh, look, they've got
a strip limbo contest.
135
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,432
If that touches,
is he disqualified?
136
00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:43,875
Maybe from the contest.
137
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,993
Oh, my God!
138
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,496
- This is beautiful,
it's paradise.
- Oh, Fran, oh.
139
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,332
Hola, and welcome, ladies.
140
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,967
My name is Rico.
141
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,502
Please, ladies, after you.
142
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,804
Oh, well, you know,
Rico, in our country,
143
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,806
it's customary
for the man to go first.
144
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,510
- Mm-hmm.
- Muy bien.
145
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:08,866
God bless America.
146
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:13,016
See, Fran, aren't you glad
you came with me?
147
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,216
(sighs)
148
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,818
You wouldn't be
able to flirt with Rico,
149
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,887
- with Mr. Sheffield
all over you.
- Mm.
150
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,989
Dancing,
smearing you with baby oil,
151
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,113
taking you
for cocktails at sunset.
152
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:25,828
You know, Val,
this is why my mother
153
00:06:25,852 --> 00:06:27,732
never wanted me
to play with you.
154
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:30,066
Where's the paint?
155
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,967
It's down there.
156
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:32,991
Why?
157
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,906
Well, you were in such
a rush to get up here,
158
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:39,330
- I felt so restless.
- It doesn't matter!
159
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:44,146
Let's just go down and get it.
160
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,382
Now, unlock your lever
when I say, "Three".
161
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,246
Have you got that, Val?
Three.
162
00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:51,154
(loud thud)
163
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:53,590
Aah! Oh, my God!
164
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,480
Val!
165
00:06:57,884 --> 00:06:59,128
Fran, look at all these people,
166
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,929
we're never gonna get
on the first bus.
167
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:03,087
Oh, don't worry,
I'll take care of that.
168
00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:06,969
Can you believe that gorgeous,
169
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,505
two-bedroom apartment
on the corner there,
170
00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:13,142
for only 400 bucks a month?
171
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,799
(clamoring)
172
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,887
Oh, Val,
173
00:07:24,911 --> 00:07:26,855
could you believe
how stupid those people...
174
00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:28,991
Val?
175
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:31,160
Oh, my God, a roach!
176
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,462
A roach!
Oh!
177
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:34,446
Well,
take your shoe off and kill it.
178
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:41,304
Oh, Val,
179
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:45,274
- this breeze is just fabulous.
- Oh, I know.
180
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,376
- Come on, let's get out
of these bulky clothes.
- Yeah.
181
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,511
Man on PA: Attention guests,
a small tropical depression
182
00:07:49,535 --> 00:07:50,980
might be heading for the island,
183
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:53,983
so there will be free cocktail
inside the Lido pavilion.
184
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,184
- Ooh!
- Free cocktails. Oh, oh!
185
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:58,388
(strong wind blowing)
186
00:07:58,412 --> 00:07:59,510
Okay, that cancelled.
187
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,883
- (strong wind blowing)
- Get in, get in!
188
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,567
Mr. Sheffield,
189
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:14,537
a terrible hurricane
is gonna hit the island
190
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:16,506
that Franny is on.
191
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:19,209
My baby is gonna die.
192
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:21,944
Oh, Sylvia.
193
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:24,302
Hold me,
don't be such a gentile.
194
00:08:26,907 --> 00:08:28,985
S-so, now I know, I-I've heard,
195
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,587
but it-it's, it's gonna be
all right. Come on.
196
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,155
It's times like this,
197
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:36,558
you look up to God and ask why.
198
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:37,894
Why?
199
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:40,930
Well, now,
we can't ask why, Sylvia.
200
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:41,998
It's nature.
201
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,366
It's... It's random, it's...
202
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:46,424
No!
Why don't you marry my daughter?
203
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:52,941
She'd be home,
safe with us right now.
204
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:55,911
Now, Sylvia,
I appreciate you're upset,
205
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:57,846
but I'd prefer
not to discuss something
206
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:01,083
that's really between
Miss Fine and myself.
207
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:03,252
Make an exception.
208
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,876
How often am I here?
209
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,816
Ah, here they are,
Naomi and Wynonna.
210
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,799
Do I smell banana fritters
211
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:19,068
with fresh fruit compote?
212
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,092
No.
213
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,161
Could I?
214
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:26,432
Ma!
215
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,954
Miss Taylor,
I'd like you to meet my mother.
216
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,880
Sylvia Fine.
217
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:48,164
This meeting bestows
an honor upon me,
218
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:51,523
which is unparalleled
within my universe.
219
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:57,028
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
220
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:01,966
(winds blowing)
221
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:08,239
(thunder crashing)
222
00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:34,232
I told them no salt!
223
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,149
- Oh, my God, sun, sun.
- Aah!
224
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,339
Aah, okay.
225
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,520
- Ah!
- Ah!
226
00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,222
Oh, God!
227
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,157
Did I get anything?
228
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,592
No!
229
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,394
Oy, Fran, I'm scared.
230
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,463
This is like a real hurricane!
231
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:54,497
(thunder rumbles)
232
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:57,933
Calm down, Val!
233
00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:59,335
If it gets really bad,
234
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:02,938
we can always tie ourselves
to something sturdy.
235
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:04,402
- Oh.
- This'll do.
236
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,883
C.C.:
If you hadn't waxedthe stupid floor,
237
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,018
this never would've happened.
238
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,986
Oh, come on,
don't be such a baby.
239
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,954
You're really getting
the hang of it.
240
00:11:18,978 --> 00:11:21,813
(motor whirring noises)
241
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,964
I'm hungry.
242
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,933
Well, it's your own fault
for not showing up for lunch.
243
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:33,436
I was waiting
in the dining room for hours.
244
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:35,071
But I served upstairs
in the solarium,
245
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,906
why didn't you...
246
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:37,930
Oh.
247
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,977
You wouldn't be able
to torture me like this
248
00:11:42,001 --> 00:11:43,379
if I wasn't in this chair.
249
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:46,937
But ya are, Babs, ya are.
250
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:50,052
Coffee?
251
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:51,053
Yes, please.
252
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:53,455
Yeow!
253
00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:54,990
This is ridiculous.
254
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:57,254
I don't know why that
stupid store doesn't deliver.
255
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,085
Oh, they do.
256
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:07,191
Oh, dear,
I wonder if I can catch her.
257
00:12:11,530 --> 00:12:13,370
(very quietly)
Oh, Miss Babcock.
258
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,903
Maxwell, darling, is that you?
259
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:26,444
(whispering)
Shhh, don't turn around.
260
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:34,986
(exhales)
261
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,190
I'm yours.
262
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,427
Tell me what you want me to do.
263
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,083
(whispering)
Cluck like a chicken.
264
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,057
What?
265
00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:03,841
(whispering)
It turns me on.
266
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:12,256
(clucking)
267
00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:21,065
(clucking)
268
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,503
(clucking)
269
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:30,086
(clucking)
270
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,809
(screams)
271
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:38,861
- You, get out of my way.
- Ooh.
272
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:40,195
Oh, oh, Niles.
273
00:13:40,219 --> 00:13:42,465
Oh, God, this thing is stuck,
how do I stop it?
274
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,999
Hold on, I'll get the manual.
275
00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:45,167
(whirring continues)
276
00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:46,535
Maxwell:
Niles, are you busy?
277
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:47,599
Free as a bird, sir.
278
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:52,108
Niles, Niles!
279
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:55,010
Niles!
280
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,245
Man on Radio:
Hurricane Dianecontinues to cut
281
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,480
a path of destruction,
282
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,881
and is bearing down
on the Caribbean.
283
00:13:58,905 --> 00:13:59,905
Stay tuned.
284
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,819
Oh, Niles, I'm awfully worried.
285
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,020
What if she dies?
286
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:06,322
Oh, I'll feed her eventually,
sir,
287
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,879
I'm just screwing with her head.
288
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,461
- I'm talking about Miss Fine.
- Oh.
289
00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,930
What if something happens
to her?
290
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,954
She'll never know
how I feel about her.
291
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:19,969
No one knows.
292
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:21,570
No one?
293
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:22,594
Hello.
294
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,574
Niles, what am I gonna do?
295
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:28,077
These costumes
are gonna be ghastly!
296
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,111
Was C.C. right?
297
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:31,013
Ha-ha-have I let
my judgment be impaired
298
00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,414
by my feelings for Miss Fine?
299
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:33,582
What feelings are those, sir?
300
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,583
- Well, you know.
- No, I don't, sir.
301
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,018
Oh, come on, Niles.
302
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,921
Oh, but you'd feel so much
better if you just said it.
303
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,456
Oh, perhaps you're right.
304
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,459
Maybe I should
just admit that I...
305
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:44,493
Knock, knock.
306
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,783
Oh, wait!!
307
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,936
Why is she throwing herself
at him anyway?
308
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:54,937
I mean, it's not as if
she's never seen
309
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,039
a good-looking man before.
310
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,641
I've been known to turn
a few heads in my time,
311
00:14:58,665 --> 00:14:59,875
right, Niles?
312
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,499
You're a brick house.
313
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:07,305
Mighty, mighty.
314
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:10,419
What do I have to do
to convince her,
315
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:11,820
she's desirable?
316
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:14,490
Oh, sir, I'm sure
you'll think of something.
317
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:18,427
I mean, after all,
you're a man, she's a woman,
318
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,451
fill in the blanks.
319
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,500
The children are at school,
320
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:28,337
she's lying on the sofa,
and if all else fails,
321
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,761
what would Pierce Brosnan do?
322
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,833
(gale blowing)
323
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,883
I don't know, Val.
324
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:43,352
Oh, all right,
Sela Ward from "Sisters."
325
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:46,822
Yes.
You are so good.
326
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,190
(electricity crackles)
327
00:15:48,214 --> 00:15:51,293
You know what, I'm gonna call
the family at home.
328
00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:53,295
Let them know that we're okay.
329
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,631
Oh, Mr. Sheffield
gave you his phone?
330
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,856
Gave, fell in my purse,
who remembers?
331
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:02,137
(both gasp)
332
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:03,572
- Aah!
- Aaah!
333
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,941
Val, the roof is gonna cave in!
334
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,410
We're gonna die!
335
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:10,012
Shouldn't our life be
flashing before our eyes?
336
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:13,916
Val, we're over 30, single,
and in bed with each other.
337
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:16,952
- What life?
- Oh.
338
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,988
- (wood creaking)
- (glass shattering)
339
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:22,391
- Oh, those poor children.
- Oh.
340
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:23,926
They're gonna be lost
341
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:26,829
without my love and attention.
342
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,931
(both cry)
343
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:30,466
Did you find out who it is, yet?
344
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,834
Honey, what did I tell you
about snooping?
345
00:16:32,858 --> 00:16:34,336
That there should
always be a lookout.
346
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,404
Good.
Go wait in the hall.
347
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,039
Right.
348
00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,941
A hickey, Maggie?
349
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,876
Did you really think that
you were gonna hide
350
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:44,013
a hickey from me,
with a little pressed powder?
351
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:46,503
You need oil-based concealer.
352
00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,987
Oh, just forget it,
it's too humiliating.
353
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,921
Well,
what could be so humiliating
354
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,945
about being smaller
in the locker room?
355
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:00,996
Hmm.
356
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,865
Master Willie is here
with his nanny.
357
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:05,801
Oh, now, honey,
you go make an entrance,
358
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,837
and check yourself
like I taught ya.
359
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,493
(sniffing)
I'm fine.
360
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:15,466
(thunder rumbles)
361
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,444
Well, I am never coming back
to this place again.
362
00:17:30,015 --> 00:17:34,163
I ordered room service
a half an hour ago.
363
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,452
Do you see a fajita?
364
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,330
(snoring)
365
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,899
Get up,
I saw you through the window.
366
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,334
All right.
367
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:14,169
-Miss Fine, this idea
-Mr. Sheffield,
368
00:18:14,193 --> 00:18:16,438
- of taking separate vacations
was a horrible idea.
- this was a lousy idea.
369
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,140
- I had a terrible time.
- I missed you dreadfully,
370
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:20,443
- and I'm so glad you're back.
- Let's never do this again.
371
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,510
- What?
- What?
372
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,134
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
373
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,216
The fact is, you're safe and...
374
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,017
we're all together
for the holidays.
375
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:32,954
Yes, and I am never
leaving home again.
376
00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:35,257
Unless of course,
you're dying to take a trip,
377
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,825
then we can always
charter a yacht
378
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,215
around the Greek islands.
379
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:40,962
You know, Miss Fine,
380
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:43,298
this will be our
fourth Christmas together?
381
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:45,467
- Hm.
- It seems like only yesterday,
382
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:46,935
you came knocking on our door.
383
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,470
(giggles)
384
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:49,871
May I see your resume, please?
385
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:50,935
Oh, yeah, sure, hmm.
386
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,110
- Crayon?
- Lipstick.
387
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,346
Ah, of course.
What a lovely shade.
388
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,903
(chuckles)
389
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,220
I hate her.
390
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,088
Now, Brighton,
let's not be hasty.
391
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:08,432
Yeah, I haven't even sung
"Climb Every Mountain" yet.
392
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,793
Miss Fine,
393
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:15,363
you seem to have listed
the Queen Mother as a reference?
394
00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:17,833
What?
Lemme see that.
395
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:20,301
Oh, no,
that's not the Queen Mother,
396
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,026
that's my mother from Queens.
397
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,507
I can't believe
that was four years ago,
398
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:28,911
and still,
I'm only two years older.
399
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,812
You didn't think that
I could handle this job,
400
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,404
but I turned out to be
quite a professional.
401
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,919
While you're here, tell me,
402
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:38,853
should I take this back?
403
00:19:38,877 --> 00:19:40,389
Uh,
I think you should put it on.
404
00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,458
No, I already had it on,
it flattens out my b...
405
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,826
(shrieks)
Mr. Sheffield!
406
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,962
Why didn't you say anything?
407
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,897
Well, I-I-I didn't notice.
408
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:50,132
You didn't... You know,
409
00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:52,500
I'm beginning to wonder
about you too.
410
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:56,438
Oh. Oh, oh,
I can't get it on, I'm stuck.
411
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:58,373
- Help me, help me.
- Relax, Miss Fine,
412
00:19:58,397 --> 00:19:59,608
we'll get it on.
413
00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:00,672
Fran: No, rip it off.
414
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:06,048
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, I'm so hot.
415
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,183
Er, I can't do this standing up.
416
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,474
Just, just get on the bed.
417
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,045
Uh.
418
00:20:21,286 --> 00:20:23,431
If you let me tell
Miss Babcock about this,
419
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:24,855
I'll work free for a year.
420
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:31,874
Miss Fine,
remember who signs your check.
421
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,309
Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
422
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:37,012
I'm not gonna hit you with this.
423
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:39,270
- Oh!
- Fake out, ha ha ha.
424
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:42,317
Friends?
425
00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:45,620
Uh... all right, friends.
426
00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:46,911
Come here.
427
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,231
No, stop it.
428
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,933
- Ohh! Ohh!
- No, stop, stop.
429
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,034
- Ohh! Ohh!
- Stop, stop.
430
00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:00,758
Stop! Stop!
431
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:10,479
But you know, Mr. Sheffield,
out of all the memories,
432
00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:12,248
you know which one
was my favorite?
433
00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:13,272
Mm?
434
00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:20,355
I now pronounce you,
husband and wife.
435
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,913
Mazel tov.
You may kiss the bride.
436
00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:26,861
(giggling)
437
00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:31,466
(organ playing "Wedding March")
438
00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:33,957
Oh, Miss Fine,
that never happened.
439
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:39,074
I threw that one in
for you guys.
440
00:21:39,098 --> 00:21:40,197
Happy holidays.
441
00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:53,187
Fran:
Niles, I got youinvited to Greece.
442
00:21:53,211 --> 00:21:54,923
Why can't you just relax
and enjoy it?
443
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:56,357
Niles:
Well, I'm sorry,but I can't help feeling
444
00:21:56,381 --> 00:21:58,359
that I left something on
in the kitchen.
445
00:21:58,383 --> 00:22:00,451
(motor whirring)
446
00:22:18,136 --> 00:22:20,971
(jazz music playing)
29564
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