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1
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,380
Graham?
2
00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,740
(PANTING)
3
00:00:25,940 --> 00:00:27,780
I am like a man demented.
4
00:00:34,340 --> 00:00:36,180
(MOANING)
5
00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:58,140
Oh, Doctor, we are playing with fire.
6
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:01,700
I am not.
7
00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:12,620
Might I... take a tuft?
8
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:15,860
To keep you with me, always.
9
00:01:21,260 --> 00:01:22,660
(SCISSORS CLIPPING)
10
00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:35,900
(TWIG SNAPS)
11
00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:37,020
Oh!
12
00:01:40,940 --> 00:01:42,020
DR FOGGERTY: Oh!
13
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:43,820
(BOTH LAUGHING)
14
00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:46,940
Tis only our limping Cupid.
15
00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:53,700
I wish I could lie with thee forever.
16
00:01:55,460 --> 00:01:57,900
Nuzzling thy nectar nook.
17
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:03,540
(MOANS)
18
00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:24,300
HESTHER: Graham?
19
00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:29,980
I... Oh, you were pressing.
20
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:34,380
-Tis a new flower for your herbarium?
-Mmm-hmm.
21
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:40,420
Oh, my Graham, you are tearful.
What burdens your heart so?
22
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:46,740
Just the... sick and the needy, Hesther.
23
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:50,180
I so wish I could heal them all.
24
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,500
Hesther!
25
00:02:54,580 --> 00:02:58,500
You are a good man, Graham.
Such a good man.
26
00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:01,060
To think I doubted you.
27
00:03:03,620 --> 00:03:05,900
-Doubted me?
-I am ashamed.
28
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:09,580
I have fallen prey in my darkest hour
29
00:03:09,660 --> 00:03:12,860
to the notion that you...
30
00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:16,820
no longer find me... desirable.
31
00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:19,620
I...
32
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:26,740
And you have conjured
some fevered notion
33
00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:29,220
that I am eaten up with lust
for another
34
00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:31,460
and wake each hour
with sticky britches?
35
00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:35,780
No! No.
36
00:03:36,740 --> 00:03:39,940
It is just that I have had my hair
quite different for over a week
37
00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:43,500
and yet you have remained silent.
38
00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:48,700
Oh... Oh, no, I do see it now.
39
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:50,860
You have...
40
00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:53,740
grey-ened it?
41
00:03:55,580 --> 00:03:57,580
(SOBS) My fringe, Graham.
-Oh, Hesther!
42
00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:00,020
I'm sorry, tis most framing.
43
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,500
I am a bad man.
44
00:04:04,380 --> 00:04:07,300
I am a bad, bad man.
45
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:08,700
(BONES CRUNCHING)
46
00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:10,380
(WHIMPERING)
47
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,740
Oh, come to bed, Graham.
48
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:18,740
I, I think...
49
00:04:21,020 --> 00:04:24,220
I think I need just a moment longer.
50
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:27,100
Alone. To pray.
51
00:04:29,820 --> 00:04:31,540
-Let us pray together.
-I...
52
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:34,580
I should love that but...
53
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:39,740
I would not have you tire your knees.
54
00:04:41,980 --> 00:04:44,060
-I shall pray for us both.
-Oh, Graham.
55
00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:46,900
See how you always think of me?
56
00:04:48,100 --> 00:04:49,460
Oh.
57
00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:57,020
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
58
00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:58,860
Ah! Dorothy.
59
00:04:58,940 --> 00:05:01,140
-Your bubbly milk, sir.
-Thank you.
60
00:05:02,180 --> 00:05:06,140
Dorothy, be sure to instruct Geoff
on how to frothy my milk
61
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:07,380
ere we part for Fiji.
62
00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:08,820
I can live without comforts,
63
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:11,620
but... (CHUCKLES)
... bubbly milk is not one of them.
64
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,260
I'm so glad I'm still of some use, sir.
65
00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:40,700
-I should love to plunge you.
-Oh, Graham.
66
00:05:41,020 --> 00:05:46,260
And stay inside you all day
like a dozing mouse.
67
00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:47,420
Oh!
68
00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,340
-Graham?
-Hesther!
69
00:05:56,340 --> 00:06:01,340
I have sought thee high and low.
I bring your luncheon. Snout muffins.
70
00:06:02,540 --> 00:06:05,140
-Thank you.
-Mistress Hesther, we were...
71
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,660
(STAMMERING) I... I...
72
00:06:08,460 --> 00:06:09,980
I... I had a pain.
73
00:06:10,060 --> 00:06:11,820
Oh, I hope nothing serious, mistress.
74
00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:16,780
No, no, no, just a winter chill
on my uvula.
75
00:06:17,220 --> 00:06:22,300
Yes, it is rather angry back there.
76
00:06:23,420 --> 00:06:26,860
Your uvula has bulbed.
77
00:06:28,380 --> 00:06:32,180
-A large salve should ease the rosing.
-Thank you, Doctor.
78
00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:38,620
Well, I should continue on my rounds.
79
00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:43,300
-You do not want my muffins?
-No, no. I do, I do.
80
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:51,860
Yes, I should leave also.
I have so much to prepare for Fiji.
81
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:56,380
Hammocks and... and biscuits.
82
00:06:58,020 --> 00:07:00,380
And the suchlike. Excuse me.
83
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:07,260
I shall be so very sorry to see her go.
84
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:12,460
Such a goodly soul.
85
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,780
(LOW GROANING)
86
00:07:29,340 --> 00:07:33,020
EDMUND: Now your turn.
So, take it in your hand, that's it.
87
00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:37,100
And take it, yeah. And hard... Grip it.
Grip it hard.
88
00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:40,980
Hard, hard, harder, harder, harder,
89
00:07:41,060 --> 00:07:43,220
faster, faster, faster.
90
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:47,020
That's it! That's it! That's it!
Oh, now.
91
00:07:47,860 --> 00:07:50,020
That's what I call bubbly milk.
92
00:07:52,340 --> 00:07:53,340
(SLURPING)
93
00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:17,260
Tis only Old Ian, ma'am.
94
00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:20,180
Carrying a sack of salted pigs feet
for the sea voyage.
95
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:25,140
Though, in another light,
one might take him for a...
96
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:27,220
hunchback.
97
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,940
Did I tell thee of the hunchback
I met at the freak show, ma'am?
98
00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:38,180
A Master Waffen, was it? Or Whuffen.
A Master Whuffen?
99
00:08:40,260 --> 00:08:43,260
Uh, I know not.
100
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:46,620
(DOOR CLOSING)
101
00:08:52,940 --> 00:08:54,820
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
102
00:09:02,900 --> 00:09:07,740
Helene, Helene, Helene.
My very heartbeat thumps Helene.
103
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:10,940
I must just tell you,
my real name is Elisabeth.
104
00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:16,460
I care not if thy name were... Pew.
105
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:18,500
Oh!
106
00:09:20,140 --> 00:09:21,340
Graham?
107
00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:23,620
Can we run away?
108
00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:25,340
I've packed a small bag.
109
00:09:27,340 --> 00:09:30,220
-Helene! You are sure?
-Yes!
110
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:34,300
Please, tonight.
Though God may strike us down.
111
00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:36,940
I care not.
112
00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:39,580
For my heart would break, Angel,
113
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:43,940
if I let you be dragged away
to the land of night-faced savages.
114
00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:47,020
But what of Edmund?
115
00:09:48,540 --> 00:09:50,220
-And Hesther?
-Yes.
116
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:54,340
Oh! God forgive me.
117
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,060
Nay, nay.
118
00:09:56,140 --> 00:10:00,500
I merely thought for a moment
of my poor, mangled wife.
119
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:06,300
But no, she has robbed me
of enough years.
120
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:10,020
Forget Hesther. And Edmund be blowed.
121
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:11,420
Oh, Graham.
122
00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,980
We have but one life, Helene,
123
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:20,100
and we must grab its horns
and ride him hard.
124
00:10:20,180 --> 00:10:21,260
(HELENE MOANING)
125
00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:25,700
-When will you come for me?
-Tonight.
126
00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:30,660
I shall pack a small bag
and return for thee at 8:00.
127
00:10:35,780 --> 00:10:37,340
I love thee.
128
00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:56,940
(HESTHER GROANING)
129
00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:06,100
Oh, Hesther! Oh!
130
00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:12,180
(GRUNTING)
131
00:11:15,820 --> 00:11:18,660
I thank you, my dearest friend.
132
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:22,300
-I fear I grow weaker by the day.
-Nonsense, sister.
133
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:26,300
-You are strong, stronger than I.
-Alas, no.
134
00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:29,620
In truth... But no.
135
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:34,220
I cannot burden you. My soulmate...
136
00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:36,180
No, no, no. You must.
137
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:40,060
God has not only seen fit to mangle
my body and render me wooden,
138
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,460
but now to end my days
139
00:11:42,540 --> 00:11:46,300
with the most deadly
organ-palping disease.
140
00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:49,260
What mean you?
141
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:54,140
I am dying, Helene. Dying as we speak.
142
00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:57,580
No! Oh!
143
00:11:58,540 --> 00:12:02,260
My lungs! Like mousse!
144
00:12:04,900 --> 00:12:09,300
My only comfort is that
my darling Graham will be by my side,
145
00:12:10,460 --> 00:12:12,380
loving me to the last.
146
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:14,900
Oh, Hesther.
147
00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:19,340
Oh, tis nothing.
But please, do not tell Graham.
148
00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:23,060
It would kill him to know
how I suffer each closing moment
149
00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:25,820
of my most dark and blighted life.
150
00:12:27,860 --> 00:12:30,260
I will not. I promise.
151
00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:35,980
But how long do you think you have?
152
00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:38,860
Days, perhaps.
153
00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:43,900
Or possibly... longer.
154
00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:47,380
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
155
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:49,140
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
156
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,260
I come for my wife.
157
00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:24,500
I have my small bag.
158
00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:27,300
I know.
159
00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:40,940
Have you doughied of late?
160
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:45,300
-Me likes this plumping frame.
-Graham,
161
00:13:46,220 --> 00:13:48,820
-I must speak with thee.
-And I with thee.
162
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,500
Oh, tis paradise
163
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:55,180
to roam thy mallowed thighs
with my fleshy pen.
164
00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:56,300
Graham, please...
165
00:13:56,380 --> 00:14:00,620
And thence wet it
deep inside your woollen ink pot.
166
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:04,500
Graham. We cannot be together.
167
00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:07,820
You jest.
168
00:14:09,060 --> 00:14:10,380
We are bound for a new life together.
169
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,420
It is impossible.
170
00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:18,740
But... we love each other!
171
00:14:18,820 --> 00:14:21,940
Graham, it is ended.
172
00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:29,060
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
173
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,760
-You will not take my kisses?
-No.
174
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:39,480
-Nor ride again my weeping sword?
-No.
175
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,640
You do not love me?
176
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:49,880
(LAUGHS)
177
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,280
I do not believe it.
178
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,920
Say it. Say you do not love me.
179
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,840
Hmm? What's that? I cannot hear you.
180
00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:08,040
I'm sorry? I cannot hear you!
181
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,000
(SHOUTING) I do not love you!
182
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:51,560
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
183
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:57,800
(COUGHS)
184
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,080
(SNIFFING)
185
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,960
(GRUNTS)
186
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,160
-Kidney brown!
-EDMUND: Oh!
187
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,400
(CLAPPING)
-You're very good.
188
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,240
DOROTHY: You've got wonderful nostrils.
189
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,440
EDMUND: That's very good.
190
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:21,040
DOROTHY: Ah!
Mistress Helene has returned!
191
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,280
Oh! I trust you will join us
in our suppering?
192
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,080
Dorothy has brought a special guest.
193
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:33,040
You may remember Master Whiffin, ma'am?
194
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,080
From the freak show?
195
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:47,520
Forgive me,
I am most unwell. I must to bed.
196
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,680
No, no, Helene.
I ask that you join our simple repast.
197
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,320
John requested pork saddles
and there are still six...
198
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,400
-Eight.
-Eight more saddles afloat...
199
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,720
But I must to bed! Forgive me!
200
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,960
Mistress! We have a blind
and disabled man at our table.
201
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,760
I'm sure John would rather lollop
in bed all day
202
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,080
but he lives on with courage.
203
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,000
-Blind?
-As a stone.
204
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:15,480
Your voice,
it is curious familiar, ma'am.
205
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:17,640
I do not think so.
206
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:23,120
If... (CHUCKLES) If John find it
familiar, then let it be so!
207
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,720
He's had a difficult life.
Tell your tale, John.
208
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,560
My wife did birth us a runt,
209
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:34,160
then brained me and left me for dead.
(CHUCKLES)
210
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:39,440
Dear, dear. I wonder how such a woman
could live with herself?
211
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:44,040
Tis all devilry of course,
but Master Whiffin has special powers!
212
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,720
He has the hearing of a dolphin,
213
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,040
he smelt the colour of Dorothy's skirt
214
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:51,800
and they say he has a lucky hump.
215
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:57,960
Perhaps one rub of John's special lump
may bring a miracle to madam's womb.
216
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:02,200
Bald David did touch it and
now has hair in all the right places.
217
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:09,480
Yes. Helene. Touch the hump. Touch...
218
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:12,800
Touch the hump.
219
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:18,640
Why not touch the hump, ma'am?
220
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,120
Touch it, ma'am.
221
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,920
Come. Rub him well.
222
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,480
Touch the hump.
223
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:26,280
DOROTHY: Touch it.
EDMUND: Touch the hump.
224
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,720
-Yes, touch him.
-Touch him. Gently.
225
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,240
-Rub him.
-EDMUND: Touch him.
226
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:34,080
Touch him, ma'am. Touch the hump.
227
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:35,720
(SCREAMS)
228
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:02,600
Oh, Helene...
229
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,360
Helene.
230
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,800
(PANTING)
231
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,040
(SCREAMING)
232
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,920
(SCREAM ECHOING)
233
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,400
(WHIMPERING)
234
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,280
(GASPS)
235
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,400
(WHIMPERING)
236
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:40,360
JOHN: I smell thee, Elisabeth Whiffin.
237
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,000
No... I am not she.
238
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:49,600
JOHN: Oh, 'cause you're a lady now,
are you?
239
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,000
(GASPING)
-You love him, do you?
240
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:01,120
The good, pale master of Hunderby?
241
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,600
He saved me.
242
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:09,440
You are my wife
and you left me for dead.
243
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:10,520
(SOBBING)
244
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:15,120
-And I have come to take thee home.
-No, I am not your wife, John!
245
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:19,760
I was your slave and you did force
yourself upon me time after time!
246
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,680
Sorry! I'm...
247
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:30,600
Oh, forgive me.
(SOBBING) Forgive me, please.
248
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,920
(SNIFFING)
249
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:41,240
-Oh! Oh, I hear him.
-Who?
250
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:46,360
The little drummer boy. Drumming...
251
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:50,040
His tiny heart, bouncing in your belly.
252
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:57,280
You are with child, wife!
253
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:14,640
-Forgive me, sir.
-Oh, Dorothy! I've made a smudge.
254
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,960
I'm merely sketching a keepsake
for the good people of Hunderby
255
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,880
before we set sail for Fiji.
256
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,400
Well, I'm pleased to say, sir,
that they will have no need of it.
257
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,440
How so?
258
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,360
Why, you look as if you have taken
the cream from the cat's very teat!
259
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:34,840
(EDMUND CHUCKLING)
260
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:39,320
Hunderby is saved, sir.
Mistress Helene is with child!
261
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,520
With child?
17147
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