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1
00:00:06,250 --> 00:00:12,130
Now it is with heavy heart
that I tell you, my flock,
2
00:00:12,370 --> 00:00:16,280
that your shepherd must depart
for pastures new.
3
00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:20,700
As you are no doubt aware,
my wife, Helene,
4
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:23,140
has refused to bear us an heir.
5
00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:25,590
Despite God's greatest efforts
6
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:31,690
and the pipes, fingers
and prayers of the healing ring.
7
00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:36,820
After 300 years at Hunderby, the
Suffolk-Finches shall be no more.
8
00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:38,050
(CONGREGATION GASP)
9
00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:42,460
Calm, calm, calm yourselves.
'Tis God's will.
10
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:46,620
And, after discussion with
Brother Joseph, it is decided
11
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,530
I shall follow his mission to Fiji.
Ooh!
12
00:00:50,610 --> 00:00:53,480
Where I shall guide the natives
13
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:58,860
away from dark totems
and hoodoo-voodoo
14
00:00:58,860 --> 00:01:01,300
towards the Christian light.
15
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:05,460
I will be joined by my wife
and our most loyal servant.
16
00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:09,130
Geoff.
17
00:02:05,650 --> 00:02:09,320
You would rather take
a monkey in a suit to Fiji than me?
18
00:02:11,770 --> 00:02:14,220
At least the monkey has manners
19
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,650
A monkey and a whore!
20
00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:29,380
Perhaps it is time
you sought a new position.
21
00:02:39,180 --> 00:02:40,640
Mistress Suffolk-Finch?
22
00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:50,430
Mistress Suffolk-Finch? Sorry, I
still cannot get used to that name.
23
00:02:50,510 --> 00:02:52,620
Please, call me Helene.
24
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,570
You are unwell?
25
00:02:55,810 --> 00:02:59,240
Nay, I merely sought a moment
of quiet reflection.
26
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,170
Forgive me. I shall leave you
in peace. No! Please.
27
00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:08,530
But your fingers...
28
00:03:08,530 --> 00:03:09,990
They tremble.
29
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,180
Yours, also.
30
00:03:14,490 --> 00:03:16,350
Like two butterflies...
31
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:19,540
..caught in a net.
32
00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:37,880
Forgive me, Helene.
33
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:44,980
But your lips seem
as swelling plums,
34
00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:46,950
begging to be burst.
35
00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:49,640
Please! God help me.
36
00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:57,220
I'm sorry, may we stop?
37
00:03:59,410 --> 00:04:00,630
What ails thee, mistress?
38
00:04:00,900 --> 00:04:03,340
I may have had...a mishap.
39
00:04:05,130 --> 00:04:07,740
Forgive me, since I was crippled,
40
00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:10,660
my bowel can hold little more
than a bird's fist.
41
00:04:12,470 --> 00:04:14,340
Poor you.
42
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:18,510
Out here, with your browny
knickerbockers,
43
00:04:18,590 --> 00:04:22,900
while your husband's up there,
honking that organ. Oh, Graham
just cannot help himself.
44
00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:24,130
No.
45
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:27,800
He's so kind and good of heart.
He wants only to heal.
46
00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:33,920
Poor Mistress Helene must be taken
sick with the thought of leaving us.
47
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:19,900
Go!
48
00:05:21,390 --> 00:05:23,100
Mistress Helene.
49
00:05:23,340 --> 00:05:25,540
I come to deliver this.
50
00:05:27,330 --> 00:05:28,710
But, in truth...
51
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:32,380
I come to deliver this.
52
00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:45,370
Ooh! I am undone, sir!
53
00:05:46,590 --> 00:05:47,550
Very good, Geoff!
54
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,220
Oh, Dorothy.
55
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:54,180
(KNOCKING/BANGING)
56
00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:58,570
Yes, a pair of sherries
would be nice.
57
00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:01,520
Is that not Geoff's duty now, sir?
58
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,460
He is resting.
59
00:06:03,460 --> 00:06:06,390
The length of his toes
tires him at times.
60
00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:08,120
(KNOCKING/BANGING)
61
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,330
Just two more months
of this hullabaloo, Geoff.
62
00:06:10,330 --> 00:06:14,720
Sir seems almost excited to be
casting off his ancestral seat
63
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,180
to live amongst cannibals.
64
00:06:16,180 --> 00:06:20,100
Although I suppose
you've had some practice.
65
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:23,770
Well, it will be a simple life,
fishing and swimming.
66
00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:28,180
And Geoff's dusky countenance
should keep the natives at bay.
67
00:06:30,130 --> 00:06:31,350
And Mistress Helene?
68
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:33,080
Oh, I'm sure she'll scare them off!
69
00:06:35,530 --> 00:06:39,440
Let us pray the sea does not try
to drown her properly this time.
70
00:06:43,590 --> 00:06:44,820
My turn, Geoff.
71
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,660
Oh, Edmund!
72
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,380
Excuse me.
73
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:57,060
Edmund, we are invited to
a farewell dinner at the Foggertys'.
74
00:06:58,020 --> 00:07:00,220
Oh, Mr Edmund,
perhaps we might duet?
75
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:04,140
I should enjoy that and Hesther does
the most wonderful honeyed hog.
76
00:07:04,140 --> 00:07:08,310
Oh, no, tis just myself and Edmund
that have been invited.
77
00:07:08,310 --> 00:07:10,500
Yum! More honeyed hog for us!
78
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:18,340
You and Geoff can stay home
and play Old Maid.
79
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:37,180
Help yourself to nibbles.
80
00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:44,770
(LOUD CRUNCHING)
81
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,210
(CRUNCHING CONTINUES)
82
00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:15,340
Perhaps I might read a holy passage
while we wait?
83
00:08:16,570 --> 00:08:18,510
Oh, blast it!
84
00:08:18,510 --> 00:08:22,690
My pocket gospel must have fallen
out in the carriage.
85
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,530
Oh, Helene!
86
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,740
Oh, Graham!
87
00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:34,420
I shall boil over my britches
if I cannot have thee!
88
00:08:34,660 --> 00:08:36,390
Oh, Graham, please!
Not in your home!
89
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:40,300
Tell me you do not long for me! I am
dewed with longing, but please...
90
00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:43,230
Hmm, not there. How curious.
91
00:08:47,380 --> 00:08:51,060
I do hope that mongrel did not
mistake God's book for a bone
92
00:08:51,060 --> 00:08:53,020
and chew my gospels up.
93
00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:57,180
Why do we have to dine
with that crippled bitch?
94
00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:58,640
Ah, Hesther.
95
00:08:59,860 --> 00:09:01,590
My chair caught on a ruck.
96
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,970
Ooh, yum.
That looks tasty, Hesther...
97
00:09:06,970 --> 00:09:08,910
Hope so!
98
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:13,570
Could you carve, Graham?
The snout is very crisp.
99
00:09:15,540 --> 00:09:16,760
Mmm.
100
00:09:31,690 --> 00:09:34,860
Thank you, Edmund, for the wine.
Very generous.
101
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,050
Graham does not drink.
102
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:40,980
No.
103
00:09:49,780 --> 00:09:54,440
So, Edmund, you are bound for Fiji?
Yes.
104
00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:59,580
I hear much
from Brother Joseph of its delights.
105
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:01,280
Yes, yes indeed.
106
00:10:02,260 --> 00:10:04,950
Though the natives are said
to partake of human flesh.
107
00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:09,610
(CLEARS HIS THROAT)
108
00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:56,020
Did Madam wish me to examine...
109
00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:58,470
Mistress Susan's splinted leg?
110
00:10:58,710 --> 00:11:01,880
Methinks I saw the poor lass...
111
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,850
listing a little.
112
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:09,970
Oh...yes, thank you.
113
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:13,640
Please, bring her
to my examining room.
114
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:16,090
Pastor, Hesther, will you excuse us?
115
00:11:16,090 --> 00:11:20,240
Of course, but....you have
barely eaten a scrap, Graham!
116
00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:33,460
Mmm!
117
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:54,730
No, Graham! We must not!
118
00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:56,940
I am married to a goodly pastor
119
00:11:57,180 --> 00:12:00,370
and I've failed him
by not bearing his child!
120
00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:03,800
You are not the failure,
sweet Helene!
121
00:12:05,020 --> 00:12:07,210
Your womb is big
122
00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:09,420
and strong!
123
00:12:09,420 --> 00:12:12,340
How I envy your soft words.
124
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:15,540
Yet... I know! I know.
125
00:12:15,540 --> 00:12:19,930
I too am a most treacherous scoundrel
to my poor wooden wife.
126
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:24,820
But you are bound for Fiji!
127
00:12:26,050 --> 00:12:27,780
It is too much to bear!
128
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,690
No! We cannot!
129
00:12:31,930 --> 00:12:33,150
Hush-ho, sweet Helene.
130
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,580
Hush-ho...
131
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,950
(FOGGERTY GRUNTS/HELENE MOANS)
132
00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:10,350
How do you find the hog, sir?
133
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,300
A triumph!
134
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,500
(HELENE GASPS LOUDLY)
135
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,210
(SILENCE)
136
00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:17,940
Susan must be better.
137
00:13:17,940 --> 00:13:19,160
Hmm.
138
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,450
(KNOCK ON THE DOOR)
139
00:13:28,450 --> 00:13:30,390
Ah, Dorothy.
140
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,600
Your bubbly milk, sir.
Ooh, thank you.
141
00:13:41,410 --> 00:13:43,140
Thank you, Geoff.
142
00:13:48,350 --> 00:13:50,460
Oh, I found this, sir.
143
00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:53,410
Oh, my pocket gospel!
144
00:13:54,870 --> 00:13:56,580
What's this?
145
00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:03,680
Dear God!
146
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,850
Is this spectacle coming here?
147
00:14:06,850 --> 00:14:08,820
Oh. Yes, sir,
148
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:13,710
excuse me, that must have
slipped in there by accident.
149
00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:15,660
Myself and Biddy shall be attending
150
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,590
to heal and...edify
God's unfortunates...through prayer.
151
00:14:19,830 --> 00:14:24,970
To think people will pay
to touch these accidents of birth.
152
00:14:24,970 --> 00:14:26,190
Nay. Nay.
153
00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:30,100
Tis too great a burden for
your and Biddy's withered shoulders.
154
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:34,760
I believe we should all
undertake a...healing visit. Hmm?
155
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:40,860
(CIRCUS MUSIC)
156
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,860
(GROWLS)
157
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:57,250
(LAUGHS)
158
00:14:57,510 --> 00:15:00,200
I'm excited!
All of us goin' to the fair!
159
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,870
Tis not a fair, Annie,
but an unholy freak show!
160
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:06,060
I ask that nobody gawp.
161
00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:08,500
Rrgh!
162
00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:11,940
Roll up! Roll up!
163
00:15:11,940 --> 00:15:14,620
Witness nature's horrors
164
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:19,760
alive and bizarre
in the most hideous flesh!
165
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:23,670
Oh, look, Tom! Half man, half pony!
Penny for a ride! Fancy a go?
166
00:15:23,670 --> 00:15:27,100
Oh, I wouldn't say no
to a hairy ride!
167
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,550
A boy with three legs
168
00:15:29,550 --> 00:15:32,480
and three girls with none!
169
00:15:33,970 --> 00:15:36,900
Arnold Penishands!
170
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,550
Come on, ladies, don't be shy.
171
00:15:41,550 --> 00:15:43,740
Come and shake his hand!
172
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,940
A tragic spectacle.
173
00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:50,600
Yes. I suggest
we begin the Lord's work...
174
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,300
in here.
175
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:54,510
(GRUNTING)
176
00:15:56,220 --> 00:15:59,170
Have her contours wrapped round you.
Want a bosh?
177
00:16:02,580 --> 00:16:04,540
(LAUGHTER)
178
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:19,230
(HISSES)
179
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,670
(SNIFFS)
180
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,090
These poor lumpen bumpkins.
181
00:16:38,390 --> 00:16:40,260
Tis a most upsetting sight.
182
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:41,980
Oh, Graham!
183
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,430
Have you come to help them?
184
00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:46,620
To help. To heal.
185
00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:51,750
To journey the aching rose
that is thy perfect mouth.
186
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:54,200
Oh, Helene! I came only to find thee!
187
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,860
Oh, Graham!
188
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:10,860
I hear you have a hunchback here.
189
00:17:10,860 --> 00:17:13,780
Old John Whiffin?
You want to touch his lucky hump?
190
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:15,010
Maybe.
191
00:17:16,230 --> 00:17:18,920
How much to touch
your lucky humps, lady?
192
00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:21,850
Where is he?
193
00:17:21,850 --> 00:17:24,560
Where is he? Yonder.
194
00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:31,880
Rrgh! Ha-ha!
195
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,090
(CACKLES)
196
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,690
Rrgh! Ha-ha!
197
00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:42,180
Ah-ha-ha!
198
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,940
Oh, Graham!
199
00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:53,670
Forgive me.
200
00:17:53,670 --> 00:17:56,840
But tell me you do not hunger
once more for my touch.
201
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,060
I do!
202
00:17:58,060 --> 00:18:01,020
Every night my soul
doth fly loose for thee!
203
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:03,940
(SUCKS AIR)
204
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,140
I love thee.
205
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:44,790
Elizabeth?
206
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,780
My Elizabeth!
207
00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:47,980
(SNIFFS)
208
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:49,930
Nay!
209
00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:51,900
She smelt like summer rain.
210
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,570
I smell...trout.
211
00:18:58,260 --> 00:18:59,480
You are blind?
212
00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,170
She did it to me.
213
00:19:02,170 --> 00:19:03,630
Elizabeth.
214
00:19:03,630 --> 00:19:05,840
Where is she?
215
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:08,290
Where is she?
216
00:19:09,510 --> 00:19:13,180
So, tis this humpty dumpty
has caught your eye, is it? Eh?
217
00:19:16,860 --> 00:19:18,320
I want him.
218
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,770
You fancy a pump o' the hump?
219
00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:22,980
I wish to take him from here.
220
00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:24,680
Name your price.
221
00:19:26,460 --> 00:19:28,110
My price...
222
00:19:28,190 --> 00:19:30,800
Tis not in that purse, lady.
223
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:34,710
(MOANS)
224
00:19:36,420 --> 00:19:37,900
Oh...
225
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,210
Oh!
226
00:19:53,790 --> 00:19:55,760
I am arriving!
227
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,460
I am arriving!
228
00:19:59,670 --> 00:20:01,380
I have arrived!
229
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,330
Help me!
230
00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:08,480
Hesther... Help!
231
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,410
Help me! But that is Hesther's cry!
232
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:17,050
Then you must go to her at once.
233
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:22,900
Please!
234
00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,630
I love thee.
235
00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:26,100
Help me, please!
236
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:29,770
(SOBS)
237
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:32,460
Hesther! Oh, Graham!
238
00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:34,160
He captured me with a lasso!
239
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,130
Who?
240
00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:38,070
That nasty man in the red hat!
241
00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:41,260
Dear God, Hesther.
What are you doing here?
242
00:20:41,260 --> 00:20:44,940
Looking for you!
I brought you a parsnip broth.
243
00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:48,370
I thought you'd be tired from
tending to all the ugly-buglies.
244
00:20:48,370 --> 00:20:50,310
Oh, Hesther.
245
00:21:00,420 --> 00:21:02,050
Oh, very nice.
246
00:21:04,020 --> 00:21:06,220
Whiffin's all yours.
247
00:21:08,910 --> 00:21:11,840
(CHUCKLES)
15628
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