All language subtitles for Homicide.Life.on.the.Street.S03E06.Model.Citizen.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DD2.0.x264-NTb_track4_[eng]

[whimsical music playing]

Gee, that's sad.

More and more, Kay, everything
about this place is sad.

Romper Room
is going off the air.

Romper Room?

Yeah, axed it after 41 years.

- This is a show you watch?
- When I was a preschooler, sure.

Miss Nancy sang songs,
played games.

Come on, John,
"Do Be A Milk Drinker,
Don't Be A Crack Addict."

- You gotta remember.
- Well, yeah, I moved on
to Bowling for Dollars by then.

Which was created by the same
guy that did Romper Room.

Her husband,
Miss Nancy's husband.

If she had a husband,
how come she wasn't Mrs. Nancy?

Both shows were broadcast
from right here in Baltimore.

This city has made
quite a contribution

to American pop culture.

Yeah, right, Romper Room,

Bromo Seltzer,
"Star-Spangled Banner."

Hey, you guys done
with Clayton yet?

Hey, Stan, Beau,
you remember Romper Room, right?

The magic mirror?

"Romper, stomper, bomper, boo,

I see Jimmy and Julie."

Except she never saw me.

I spent years
in front of that friggin' tube.

She never once saw Beau
in the magic mirror.
That bitch.

I remember Birthday Land
with King Twinklehead.

- Who?
- King Twinklehead.

Me and my cousin Ernie
used to watch it every week.

Good old Ernie.

We'd watch Birthday Land
with King Twinklehead

and Judy Splinters.

- She was a puppet.
- [Howard] Really?

Yeah, Judy Splinters
won the very first Emmy Award

ever in 1949.

A puppet won
the first Emmy Award?

Well, yeah.

She was very good.

Who was she up against,
the Marquis Chimps?

[all chuckling]

I'm gonna get some Milk Duds.

- Make way for King Twinklehead.
- [all laugh]

[Munch] You know, remind me
to share with you three again.

It really makes me
feel so good inside.

- Thank you.
- Oh, Twinkie, Twinkie.

[theme song playing]

[music fades]

Excuse me.

Can I talk to you?

[office din]

[whistles shrilly]

Peace, man. My name's Lennox.
Lennox Young.

I'm here to report a shooting.

Do that again,
and it'll be your own.

- Who got you shot?
- My brother, Prescott.

Over on North Carey Street
in Saratoga.

At the bus stop.

In the stomach
about an hour ago.

You saw your brother get shot?

No, no, I didn't see it.
I just heard the gunshot.

See, I-- I was
around the corner.

And you heard a bang,
you came around the corner

and you saw that somebody
shot your brother?

I came around the corner
and saw the gun and fainted.

And when I came to,
I was all alone.

There was nothing left
but a river of blood.

So you fainted, when you came
to, looked around,

and there was nobody there,
not even your brother?

Right, nothing, nobody.
Nothing but a river of blood.

Lennox, why the hell
are you in here?

I want to be on the record.

Just so, I mean, in case,
in the next 50 years,

there's a shooting
at that corner.

You want us to know
that you saw nothing.

My brother got shot.

I mean-- [scoffs]

But all you heard was a bang.

I got ears like a dog.

And you've been using us
like fire hydrants.

You know, you just wasted
five minutes of my life.

Five minutes that I'll be
begging for as I lay dying.

- Get out. Now.
- Look, I--

Get out. Now.

[Lennox scoffs]

Kid's full of scemo.

Maybe. Better check it out.

- Yeah, sure, I'll check it out.
- Uh-huh.

[Lewis whistling]

- Uh, you need some help?
- Oh, or another arm.

Oh, thanks.

I was looking
for Detective Crosetti.
Is he in?

No, he's not. He's, um--
Detective Crosetti's dead.

Oh, I-- It must have
happened suddenly.

They didn't tell me.

- Who? Who?
- The state's attorney's office.

I'm working
for the state's attorney.

- Emma Zoole.
- Oh.

- Oh, okay.
- Detective, uh, Meldrick.

Lewis, Meldrick.

Well, Detective Crosetti
was the primary

on Irene O'Connor's murder.

Irene O'Connor--
oh, oh, oh, the--

the nurse stabbing
in the parking lot

at, uh, Johns Hopkins.

Yeah, that's familiar.
Wait a second.

Crosetti put that case down,
like, six months ago.

Oh, it's going to trial,
which is why I had
to build a model this week.

Hopefully it'll help
the jury get a visual sense
of what happened,

sort of like
crime scene show-and-tell.

[Lewis chuckles]

I was hoping to go over
some measurements with him.

Well, I know the case.

- Do you?
- Oh, yeah, absolutely.

I mean,
Steve and I were partners.

Then I guess, Detective Lewis,
fate has brought us together.

[*]

This is Felicity Weaver.

- Good morning, Detective.
- [Pembleton] Hello.

Miss Weaver's here to help you.

Oh, great.
Help is something that I need.

Why don't we
step into the office?

Miss Weaver's
an attorney for the City.

She's been assigned
to you to, uh--

Well, feel free to jump in here
at any time, Miss Weaver.

Of course, Detective Pembleton,

as you know, you're being sued
by Annabella Wilgis

for violating her civil rights
during questioning.

She's a serial killer.
She murdered eight women.

I thought all this nonsense
was gonna go away

once we booked her into
a padded room in Patuxent.

- She still has the right to sue.
- Both of us.

Since I was the shift commander
on duty, you,

me, and the City are on
the line for a million dollars.

Wilgis asserts that during
a long, grueling interrogation,

you manipulated one
of her alter personalities

into holding a lit match
to her arm.

Is there a law against
alter manipulation?

You and Lieutenant Russert
will go before a judge

for a preliminary hearing
and hopefully avoid a trial.

Nah, you don't really believe
this will go to trial, do you?

[Weaver] Every year, Baltimore
spends tens of thousands

on nuisance cases like this.

You should know
that since this is a civil suit,

we must disprove guilt

rather than prove innocence.

- Is that right?
- Hmm.

Just one of those little quirks
in the legal system.

[Lewis] Irene O'Connor
got off her shift,

came down the elevator.

The killer stood here,

very quiet.

She came out of the elevator,
she got spooked.

Then she turned around.

They struggle.

Slashes her throat,
and her body falls

right here
where you're standing.

You can almost feel the energy.

[urgent music playing]

Feel it?

Yeah, yeah, I do.

Here, um, hold the end.

I need to get
the exact distance.

- Just back up a little.
- Sure. Uh-huh.

I'll tell you when.

Right there.

Okay. Thanks.

So, you know what that scumwad
did after he killed her?

He, um, popped open
a pint of gin...

fired up a Camel
and sat right there

and had a drink
and a couple of smokes.

We found an empty bottle
and cigarette butts right there.

- Well, I'm glad you caught him.
- Actually, uh,

it was, uh,
Corsetti who put the case down.

He's a hell of a-- well,
he was a hell of a detective.

I've got all I need.
Let's go back.

- Bayliss!
- What?

Where's Meldrick?

Do not mention
that man's name to me.

He dumped a lot of last-minute
paper chasing on me, Munch.

I'm not supposed
to be doing all of this work.

I'm supposed to be a silent
partner in this bar, right?

Yeah, sure.
Did you get the certification
for Workman's Comp. Insurance?

- Yes.
- Great.

Did you get the release
from the comptroller's office?

- Yes.
- What is a comptroller anyway?

I don't know. I don't care.

Did you get the federal
occupational tax stamp?

- Yes.
- Great.

You know what this means?
That does it.

This means that we officially
own the waterfront bar now.

- Not yet.
- What's that?

This is the certification
of compliance

with the provisions
of Article 2B,

Section 130A of the state code.

- We need a certificate
to show we're compliant?
- Mm-hmm.

Get me a red-headed 19-year-old.
I'll show you compliance.

Well, one of us has to go

to the Alcohol Awareness
training program.

- Have fun.
- No, "It's a seminar
to teach bar license holders

how to sell alcohol responsibly,

i.e., how to identify
someone who is drunk."

Well, that's easy.
Whoever's puking on the floor
is usually drunk, right?

Listen, Munch,

you've got to take this
much more seriously.

You see, if we do not
clear the certificate,

our bar,
our investment, is lost, okay?

I made an appointment
for you at 1:00 p.m.

- Me?
- Yep.

I had to pull a lot of political
strings to get you in on this,

so don't give me
any grief over it.

- Okay, you go. Why not?
- No.

Because I have got some
new leads on the Stromberg case.

That's why.

Besides, Alcohol Awareness

is sort of a hobby with you,
isn't it?

I can't go. You know why?

What if they make me
take a test?

I can't do tests.
I always clutch.

What if I fail and all
our dreams crash and burn?

Well, that's very simple, then.

Meldrick and I will harm you.

Look at this doll.
It's got bright, happy eyes.

It's got the eternal
smile of innocence.

Did you sell
your newspaper, Sam?

I mean, are you giving up
crusading journalism

for an exciting new career
in the toy sales?

No, the children in this city
should be holding these

in their hands instead of
nine millimeters and Magnums.

I'm busy, you know?
I'm very, very busy.

It's happening
all over the country.

I mean, it can work
right here in Baltimore.

Toys for guns.

Look, the kids
give us their guns

or they get their parents
to give us their guns,

and we give the girls
a free doll or whatever,

and the-- and the boys get free
basketball shoes or whatever.

All right,
it's a great idea, Sam.

- What do you want me to do?
- I need help. Volunteers.

- Well...
- What about you?

I never volunteer.

What the hell
is the matter with you guys?

Our kids are killing each other
in the streets every single day.

So what, you only give a damn
if it's their bodies
you're picking up?

Don't you see that
you could stop their bodies

from being there
in the first place?

[Giardello] Sam!

The next time you walk in here
and talk to one
of my detectives like that,

I'm personally gonna kick your
butt out onto Thames Street.

It's cause and effect, Al.

Every time a gun goes off,
you guys get a homicide.

Am I the only one
that sees the connection?

We're up to 227 murders
this year.

My guys are working 12-hour
shifts nearly seven days a week.

They make
their own court appearances.

They file
their reports in triplicate.

They have wives and kids.

That means soccer games
and piano lessons.

And don't you remember when
you had a daughter growing up?

They're doing everything
they can do.

- What do you expect from them?
- More.

Nobody has the time, Al.

But if we don't cure
what's killing this city,

this city's gonna kill
all of us.

[Howard]
You guys, you think of me

as some kind of livery service
or something.

Hey, I really
appreciate the lift.

Hey, your car breaks down?
I'm sympathetic.

Beau's Jalopy's been
in and out of shop for months.

- Hey.
- What? Why are we stopping here?

- I want to check something out.
- Oh, right.

Bear with me.

[Munch sighs]

- Here's the bus stop.
- What bus stop?

Where that kid Lennox said
his brother got shot.

Kay, I gotta be
in an Alcohol Awareness seminar

in 15 minutes.

I just want to see the river
of blood he told us about.

River of Blood.
Wasn't that a movie
with Vincent Price?

There hasn't been a rain since
the alleged gun fest, has there?

Maybe the kid
came to lie to us on a bet.

Uh-uh, he was telling us
some form of the truth.

See that clinic over there?

Come on, come on, come on.

- You the doctor?
- I'm the doctor. You sick?

That's a topic open
for discussion.

I'm a cop.
Believe it or not, so is he.

Has there been any shootings
around here recently?

You'll have to be
more specific than that.

This morning, a shooting
out there by the bus stop?

- Right out there?
- Yeah.

- This morning? No.
- Yeah.

People with bullets in them
come into places like this
instead of a hospital

because
they don't want cops like me
to know they've been shot, hmm?

Has there been anybody around?

Uh, Prescott Young lives off
of North Carlton Avenue.

[Howard] That's the one.

This morning, he comes running
in with his brother Lennox.

There's a hole in Prescott's gut

big enough
for a Camden Yard hot dog.

There was nothing
I could do for the kid.
I had to call an ambulance.

- Did he tell you what happened?
- Yeah, sure.

Lennox shot Prescott
with Prescott's own gun.

Remind me never to ask you
for a ride ever again.

- What time did he come in?
- Well, about ten o'clock.

- Hey, Emma.
- Hey, Detective.

You got all the information
you need for the O'Connor case?

Yes, I do.
Thanks. I'm almost done.

Can I get you anything else?

You want some more
of that yoga tea?

- Yogi.
- Yogi. [laughs]

No, I'm fine, thanks.

Uh, we got
some stale bagels in there.

You can have them
if you're hungry.

Or we could go out
and get a bite.

- What do you think?
- I'm really not hungry.

Oh, well, it was just a thought.

- Uh, Emma.
- Yeah?

Do you believe
in love at first sight?

Of course.

I mean, when there's a spark,
there's a spark.

It's just a look.

A flare in the eye.

Yeah, well, here's the thing.

Ever since we met...

I've had flares in my eyes.

[sighs] Oh.

- I'm crazy about you.
- Meldrick.

You want to go out with me?

No.

Oh.

I'm-- I'm sorry. I just--
I just don't feel the spark.

Yeah, well, there are sparks,
and then there are sparks. I--

I'm just-- It wouldn't be fair
to either one of us.

Fairness is not
all that important to me.

Well, it is to me, Meldrick.

I'm sorry.

Yeah. It's all right.

Okay, uh, you know, I'll be...

Restaurant Association
of America?

Listen, I missed my Alcohol
Awareness training seminar,

and I want to know
if I could reschedule.

My excuse? Um...

I was downstairs watching TV

and didn't know
the boys was home.

I heard a firecracker explode,

and then I called up
to the girls to stop.

You thought the girls
were playing with firecrackers?

They get into things.

I try, but I can't stop them.

Then Lennox comes downstairs

and says that Prescott
got shot over by the bus stop.

Do either
of your sons have a gun?

Prescott does, but I don't know
where he keeps it.

Do you girls know where
your brother keeps his gun?

Sometimes he sleeps
with it under his pillow.

[Howard] Okay.

Ma'am,
I'm going to be frank with you.

We're pretty sure
that firecracker you heard
was a gunshot.

The Prescott got shot
in his room at home.

Lennox is afraid
he's going to jail for it.

We're not talking
about charging anyone.

We work homicide.
This looks like
an accidental shooting.

All we're concerned about
is getting that gun
out of your house.

Go on in my house

and get that thing out of there.

- Please.
- Okay, we will.

[somber music playing]

[Bayliss] Meldrick, what's up?

What's the matter, buddy?

I've been blindsided.

You know how when you--

you think you're a grown man,
and then, bam!

Right between the eyes,
love at first sight.

- Who is she, Meldrick?
- Emma Zoole.

[both] Emma Zoole?

- You fell in love
with a woman named Emma Zoole?
- What's wrong with that?

Oh, it's just not a name
from which legends are spawned.

Romeo and Juliet, yes.
Tracy and Hepburn, of course.

But Meldrick Lewis
and Emma Zoole.

It just doesn't scan.

Shows how little you know
about love.

I mean, this woman is, uh...

perfection.

- [Felton] Oh.
- She's so...

She's a goddess.

- Wow, where is this goddess?
- In the copy room.

- Is traffic moving in
both directions or just one way?
- [Lewis] One way.

She's made it pretty clear
she ain't got nothing for me.

[Felton] Perhaps you just need
a different approach.

Beau, she doesn't want
anything to do with me.

- Did you not hear what I said?
- Yeah, twice.

This room's
got a wicked echo in it.

- Emma Zoole.
- [both laugh]

- Emma Zoole.
- Emma Zoole.

Lieutenant Russert,

do you recall the circumstances

leading up to the questioning

of Annabella Wilgis
on the fourth of November last?

It was
a Good Samaritan interview.

She came in to tell us
what she had seen

regarding the Lundy murder.

Were you aware
that she was a victim

of multiple personality
disorder?

During the course of
Detective Pembleton's interview,

I became aware
that she claimed to have MPD.

Lieutenant,
did Detective Pembleton

light a match
during the interrogation?

- Yes, he's a smoker.
- [Russom chuckles]

Did Detective Pembleton
light a match

and hold it to his wrist?

[Russert] Yes.

Didn't you find that odd?

Given the circumstances, no.

[Russom]
Given the circumstances.

Do you recall him speaking to
the seven-year-old alter, JMJ?

- Yes.
- And as JMJ,

did she or did she not mimic

everything that
Detective Pembleton did or said?

He slammed
his fist on the table.

She slammed
her fist on the table.

He said, "Write their names."
She said, "Write their names."

He said, "You murdered them."
She said, "You murdered them."

And then, as you've testified,

Detective Pembleton lit a match
and burnt his wrist.

What did Ms. Wilgis do?

She lit a match
and burnt her wrist.

Let me ask you, Lieutenant.

How far would you have let
Detective Pembleton go?

What if he'd thrown her
on the ground?

- What if he'd hit her, huh?
- I would not have allowed that.

[Russom] Oh, I see, I see, okay.

Burning is okay.

Hitting is not.

So much for civil liberties
at the Baltimore Homicide Unit.

[office din]

Come on.

[ethereal music playing]

[thudding]

Hi, I'm Emma-- Emma Zoole.

Baylis and Zoole.

- Huh?
- Never mind.

Detective Bayliss.
Tim Bayliss. Tim.

So you're, uh,

helping Meldrick
on the O'Connor case?

Yes, I'm-- I'm reconstructing
the crime scene in miniature.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, he's a--
he's a terrific detective.

- Meldrick's just the best.
- He's a very helpful man.

Yeah, he's a great detective.
Yeah, a great guy.

He's got a great sense of humor.
Really makes me laugh.

Dry, great, dry sense of humor.

- It's hot in here, isn't it?
- It's very hot in here.

[Bayliss sighs] All right.

I'd like to take
a walk out in the air.

A walk. Yeah.

[Lennox] Prescott came in
after getting shot.

He ran up here.

Sorry I said
I was at the bus stop.

I lied about that.

Hey, Lennox, let's take this
one step at a time.

Your brother comes
running up these stairs, right?

Yes.

There's no blood on the stairs.
What'd you do with the blood?

Come on,
he comes in here bleeding.

There's gotta be blood
on the stairs and the hall.

- We cleaned it up.
- [Munch] You cleaned it up?

Yeah.

- [Lennox scoffs]
- [Howard] Where were those?

On the bed.
We flipped the mattress.

What jacket was your brother
wearing when he came in?

Um, the gray one, right there.

No blood, no holes?
Quit lying to us, Lennox.

You were playing
with Prescott's gun.

- He got shot. You got scared.
- What gun?

I don't know nothing
about no gun.

[Munch]
Just give us the gun, Lennox.

- There is no gun!
- We're not going to charge you.

We just want to get
the gun out of the house, okay?

There is no gun!
I don't have no gun!

Fine, when your brother dies,

we'll be back
to charge you with murder.

I saw your, uh--

your model
of the parking garage.

- Uh-uh.
- It's very, very intricate.

- Very, very beautiful.
- Thanks.

I used to be a sculptor,
but I couldn't pay the bills.

My-- my art's
a little over the edge.

Well, I'll tell you something.
I'm in awe.

Because I can't even
draw stick figures.

I would love
to bronze your head.

I beg your pardon?

I mean,
cast your head in bronze.

I've wanted to sculpt your face
ever since I saw it last year.

- You saw me last year? Where?
- The Adena Watson case.

I read every word
that was published about it.

One of the articles
had your picture.

I remember your eyes.

Well, we, uh...

We haven't closed that case yet.

Working with death every day,
you must find death fascinating.

Almost seductive.

No, not-- not particularly, no.

Isn't that why you became
a homicide detective?

[Bayliss chuckles softly]

There's some place
I'd like to take you.

Um-- Are you free tonight?

Tonight?

Yeah, I'm free
just about every night.

Okay.

[footsteps echoing]

Well, I have
good news and bad news.

[Pembleton] Bad first.

- The judge
is recommending trial.
- What?

He thinks there's enough cause
and merit to Wilgis's claims

to put the case
in front of a jury.

So we're being sued
as if we were crack dentists?

A million dollars.

- Who pays if we lose?
- [Weaver] The City.

We're settling.

[Pembleton]
We're settling? Out of court?

That's the good news.

The City of Baltimore
has decided to pay off

an incarcerated homicidal maniac
with the taxpayer's money?

- Yep.
- That means that we're
implicitly admitting guilt.

We're saying
that I abused my power.

The insurance
will take care of it.

Oh, the City's insure--
What about me?

What about my dignity?
What about right and wrong?

What are the premiums on that?

We could lose big
if Wilgis got on the stand

with her seven-year-old alter,
and got a jury weepy.

- How much is she getting?
- [Weaver] 200.

$200,000?

[scoffs] Well, don't forget.

She was asking for a million.

So we got a discount?

[sighs]

- You blinked, Lieutenant.
- [Russert] Oh, Frank.

Hey, I did myself
no favors in there, either.

But it was clean.
I told the truth.

The truth, what do you know
about the truth?

When I step into the box,
the truth is my only objective.

My job is to reach
down into the darkness

and pull out
the truth for all to see.

You honestly believe
that I crossed the line

with Annabella Wilgus?

In all honesty?

Yes, I do.

And in all honesty,
I think you know it.

Well, thank you very much
for the truth, Lieutenant.

- Frank, I'm just--
- Excuse me.

I'm going back to do my job.

[typewriter clacking]

You look like
the neighborhood bully

met you in the schoolyard,
and took your lunch money.

I heard the City's
settling with Wilgis.

It's a compliment, really.

The City actually believes
you're worth 100 grand, Frank.

Gives me goosebumps.

- Frank.
- The City settles.

- It's not settled.
- Give it up.

It's a beautiful night. Go home.

Kiss your wife. Kick your dog.
Whatever you want.

The night's young,
and it's yours.

Russert thinks
I crossed the line with Wilgis.

I know.

When you burned yourself,
she wanted to stop it.

I said, "Don't."

Do you think I crossed the line?

It's really not important
what I think.

I thought I resolved
all of this for myself

when I first put the uniform on.

You do what you have to do
to get to the truth, hmm?

I've always been able
to slide through
the loopholes in the law,

maneuver around
the technicalities.

So, I didn't feel guilty.

Here I'd sit,

like God, the Old Testament God,

smiting the wicked...

wreaking righteous vengeance
at whim,

manipulating people,
tricking them to confess.

Annabella Wilgis...

manipulated me.

She led me
like a lamb to slaughter.

Over the line.

[tense music playing]

[sighs heavily]

Detective Lewis.

- What you got there?
- Dinner.

Oh, is that what that is,
dinner, huh?

Let me see what specials
you had to choose from.

There's the vegetarian sampler,

the spinach salad with lentils.

Mmm. Quiche.

And you chose the gorgeous

stir-fried vegetables with...

Oh, so that's
what couscous is, huh?

Where is it that says a man
can't try something new
now and again?

- Who's the dolly?
- [Felton chuckles]

- Who's the dolly?
- What?

I've never seen
a man eat cautious

unless a woman was involved.

Who is she?

Lewis is in love
with Emma Zoole.

Let me clue you in
on something, pal.

Couscous is not gonna make
a difference.

I've gone the health food route.

Stir-fry this, low-fat that.

What this is really about
is control.

If you allow her to control what
it is you eat, it's curtains.

How much more primal,
how much more basic can you get

than what a man
puts into his stomach?

Munch and crunch
all the veggies you want.

But in the end,
new girl or not, you're out.

Because you did not
take a stand.

That's what this is about.

Not health,
not love, not living fat-free.

This is about women
trying to dominate men.

It's just couscous, man.

- Emma, where are we going?
- Across the street.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
This is where
we're going, right here?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, I read
about this in the city paper.

This is a bunch of, uh,

paintings by criminals,
all right?

Pedophiles,
mass murderers, rapists.

They've got a couple in here
by Annabella Wilgis.

You aren't curious?

No, not in the least, okay?

This is blatant exploitation.

The quality of the art here
is less important

than the infamy of the artist, okay?

Let's go get some mussels
or burgers, okay?

This is a chance to get
a peek inside a killer's head.

Uh, I'm not interested.

What if you could see
inside the mind of the man

that stabbed
and brutalized Adena Watson?

[spectators murmur quietly]

Emma, don't you find any of this
just the least bit twisted?

Tim, the Japanese have picnics

on the graves
of their ancestors.

- Huh.
- The ancient Egyptians
were buried with fruit

and a change of clothes.

What does our culture do?

We send
our old people to Florida

so that we don't have
to watch them die.

We deny that death exists.

We-- We hide from it.

I mean, we-- instead,
we should embrace it.

We should--
we should laugh at it.

- [Bayliss chuckles]
- I mean,

what do homicide detectives do
at a crime scene?

You crack jokes.

Well, yeah, but...

I-- I gotta get a drink.

My place isn't far, and I've got
some great chilled vodka.

Really? Stoli or Absolut?

- Ketel One.
- Really?

Emma, you are a goddess.

Nice butt.

I'm sorry I made you miss
your Alcohol Awareness seminar.

No, no, no.
It's typical of my life.

Just another
average day in Munchkinland.

I missed the seminar.
I put owning the bar at risk.

We didn't get
the gun from Lennox.

I can't even tell you why I care
if he keeps the gun or not.

It's the job, John.

We gave it our best shot.

I keep seeing those
little girls at the hospital.

Lennox's little sisters.

Did you see their faces?

Did you see
what I saw in their eyes?

Nothing. Emptiness.

Their eyes are going dead,
and they're just little kids.

Their eyes are dead
because they could be dead.

Tonight, tomorrow.

And they know it.

- What are you doing?
- We're going back.

It's, uh-- What is this?

- Park City Station. Boston.
- Mm.

Homeless man
was hacked to death there.

Really? Wow. Hmm. Death.

Ah. More--
more crime scene models.

Death.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Thank you.

[both moaning]

- [Bayliss grunts]
- [Emma exclaims]

[both moaning]

- What's that?
- That's my bed.

Well, that's funny because
that looks like a coffin.

- It's a coffin.
- Well--

Wait, you sleep in a coffin?

It's very sensual.

Satin against skin.

Oh, Emma.

No, no, I, uh-- I, uh--

I can't-- I can't do this.

I can't do this
because I'm just a--

a regular bed kind of guy.

But thanks for the...

offer, though.

Good night.

[Bayliss grunting]

[both moaning]

Oh, God.

- I'm going to ask you
a question, okay?
- Yeah.

You're not going to, uh,
close the lid on me, are you?

Not until I know you better.

[both moaning]

Where is it? Where's the gun?

- There ain't no gun.
- Your brother's in the hospital.

He nearly died.
Doesn't that mean
anything to you?

Next time it'll be
one of your sisters.

Could you live with that, huh?

If you don't give
a damn about your own life,

think of them,
think of your sisters!

Think of them! Friggin' think!

I want that damn gun back!
Give me that gun!

- You want the gun?
You want the gun?
- Yes!

You can have the gun.
It doesn't matter.

There'll just be another one
in here by tomorrow.

[hip-hop music playing]

[ship horn blares]

I'm going to quit.

As soon as Bayliss and Lewis
and I get the bar going,

I'm going to hang up my badge.

Hell, I might even
go to work with my brother

at the mortuary if I have to.

I gotta stop doing this job.

Bull. Come on.
You wouldn't last a day.

I've had my doubts,
too, recently.

None of us wants
to end up like Steve Crosetti.

We're cops, John.
We can't be anything else.

- You know what
the trouble being a cop is?
- Hmm?

We got guns floating around like
pods during hay fever season.

Little guns. Big guns.
Assault weapons.

We could arm
a third-world country

with the guns we got
right here in Charm City.

- And you know what?
- What?

It's okay by me.

Want to know
why it's okay by me?

[chuckles] Yeah, why?

Because it's in
the Bill of Rights.

The right to bear arms.

If you start screwing
with the Bill of Rights,

you might as well hang a sign
on the Statue of Liberty

that says, "Welcome to Iran."

So what you're saying is people
have the right to own guns,

they just shouldn't own guns.

I'm saying there's no answer.

No solution. There's nothing.

Absolutely nothing
we can do about it.

There's no point in even trying.

Trying is the ultimate
act of delusion.

Trying is for fools.
Trying is...

pointless.

No, you can't stop trying,
Munchkin.

You stop trying, you're dead.

[glass shatters]

Oh, jeez, Beau.
Don't sneak up on me
like that, man.

I didn't sneak up on you.
I opened the door
and came to the sink.

- What's the matter with you?
- Why? Why? Do I look different?

- You look a little flushed.
- Oh.

Uh, I, uh--

I had sex
in a coffin last night.

- Yeah, right.
- Yeah.

I had what may be
the best sex of my life.

- In a coffin.
- In a coffin?

In a coffin.

I'm sick, right?
I'm really sick. I'm disturbed.

I should see the--
the department shrink.
I need help.

This so-called sex,
with whom did you have it with?

- A vampire?
- Um, Emma Zoole.

- Lewis's Emma Zoole?
- Yeah, yeah.

Not only am I sick and depraved,

but I'm also the worst friend
that a friend could have.

I am slime beneath contempt.

Oh, God, I hate myself.

Because of Lewis
or because of the coffin?

I-- I don't-- What difference
does it make, all right?

I mean, I was weak.
I lost all self-control.

[sighs] Oh, my God.

Beau, help me.
What am I gonna do?

- Confess.
- Tell Lewis?

The truth?

Yes! Yes!

Yes, that's right.

That's what I'm gonna do,
you see?

I'm gonna tell Lewis, right,

and then I'm gonna tell Emma
that it's all over between us,

and then I'm gonna get
a fresh start in life.

- Right, Beau? Huh?
- Right.

Yeah. Okay.

Good.

- Yeah.
- In a coffin?

[Felton snickering]

[Munch]
I can't tell you how much
I appreciate this, Miss Justo.

Oh, that's all right, Detective.

It's not every day
that an elephant squashes
your mother.

Should have given him
the peanut.

Please be seated.

Good afternoon.

I'm Carla Justo,
your awareness trainer.

The goal of this program
is to help

beverage servers
prevent intoxication.

Bar owners have
the legal responsibility

to prevent intoxicated persons
from driving,

refusing service to minors,

and making
reasonable efforts to prevent

a patron
from becoming intoxicated.

- Uh, yes?
- Excuse me, uh, drunk drivers
and minors, I'm all over that.

It's that last point
I'm a little cloudy on.

Getting people to buy
as much liquor as possible,

isn't that the point
of owning a bar?

- Detective Munch.
- I mean, don't we all
want to make kiss-my-butt money,

charging 200% markup on booze,
isn't that how it works?

Can we wait for comments
until the end of class?

- Sure. Fine.
- [Justo] Hmm.

Remember,

you can be fined
and/or imprisoned

for serving someone who's known

as a habitual drunkard
or mentally deficient.

That's exactly
the type of clientele
I hope to attract to my bar.

[Justo]
Detective, if you continue
this disruptive behavior,

I will have
to excuse you from class,

and you will not receive
your license.

Oh. I'm sorry, Miss Justo.

Thank you.

Now, the primary purpose
of your job

is not to sell alcohol...

but hospitality.

I wonder if I could charge
customers for hospitality.

That's it.
Take your elephant, and get out.

I can't.
I've got to get the certificate.

Well, you're not going
to get it from me.

[sighs]

[office din]

- Hey, Bayliss.
- Hey.

Hey, Meldrick.
Uh, how's it going? Are you--

I have to talk to you
about something.

- About Emma.
- [Lewis scoffs]

- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, you see, uh, she, uh--

- How was it?
- How-- how was what?

Your date with Emma.

I heard you took her
to an art gallery.

Date?

You had a date with Emma?

You went behind my back
with Emma?

Me? Meldrick, look at--
No, no, not me.

I would not do that to you.

- Hey, Bayliss.
- What?

Beau says you slept
with Emma Zoole

in a "cofoon" or something?

What is she--

You went to bed with--
with Emma?

No, Meldrick, no.

We did not go to--
to a bed together.

- [Bolander] What is a "cofoon"?
- [Howard] I don't know.

Beau was laughing so hard when
he said it, he had to sit down.

You slept with my Emma?

I thought
I smelled sex around here.

- How could you do this, man?
- Meldrick, come on, please.

- No, no, no, no.
- Hey, come on, listen.

You are a disloyal
son of a bitch,

and I don't want anything
to do with you.

[clucks tongue]

Thank you, all of you.

[sighs]

- [Russert grunts]
- Megan.

- Hey.
- Hi.

How's, uh, Carolyn?

- She's good, thanks.
- How you doing?

I'm good, Beau.
I'm-- I'm doing well.

How about you?
How are things at home?

I'm not sure. It's, uh--

It's gotten worse
as time goes on.

She's edgy and unhappy.

Last night at dinner,
I asked her to pass me the salt.

She about ripped my head off.

I thought she was gonna take
a swing at me.

Maybe she knows.

- About us?
- Well, she must have found out

you weren't holed up
in a monastery

while you two were separated.

I never said a word.

[Russert scoffs]

Well, it's not
about words, Beau.

It's about feelings.

I gotta run. Take care.

[*]

I cannot believe
how Bayliss screwed me over.

You know, sometimes I think
the world has too many kids.

What is the point
of having all these children?

Oh, don't start with me, Munch.

I look around the streets,
and from where I'm sitting,

we don't even take
good care of the ones we got.

Why is it that
every conversation with you

winds up being depressing?

I'm in a dark place, Meldrick.
Deal with it.

Yeah, well,
make some room, I'll join you.

How's your damn
Alcohol Awareness class going?

I have some
unpleasant news, Meldrick.

What else I've been getting
lately, but unpleasant news?

What am I, the town dump?
Go ahead, pile it on, Munch.

- I got expelled.
- Expelled?

From the Alcohol Awareness
training program.

I've been banned
for life, actually.

- Well, it doesn't matter.
- Well, of course it matters.

If we don't get
the certificate of compliance,
we can't buy the bar.

The only upside
is that there's three of us.

- Not anymore.
- What do you mean?

I can't go on to be--

I don't want to be
in business with Bayliss.

I'm pulling out
of the partnership.

[laughs] Oh, that's great.

That's it. That does it.

Today now is officially the most
miserable day of my life.

[knocking loudly]

[doorbell rings repeatedly]

- [Emma] I'm coming.
- Hi.

Listen, I can--
I cannot see you any longer.

I mean, I don't want
to hurt your feelings
or anything like that,

and God knows that
being with you was great,

but I lied to Meldrick,
all right?

And now he hates me,
and I can't focus on my work.

And-- and this thing,
this-- this coffin,

although
it's extremely exciting,

is just-- that's--
it's way too weird, Emma.

I'm sorry.

- No, hey, you're-- you're right.
- I am?

I don't want to be
unfair to Andy.

To Andy...

A man I'm s-- seeing.

- You have a boyfriend?
- No, just-- no.

Just sort of.

Why didn't you tell me
about this guy?

Look, we just got, you know,

overwhelmed by each other,
and went too fast, and--

- Who is he?
- Well, um, he's a cop.

He's a cop.

What kind of cop is he?

He's, um, county cop,
Baltimore County.

Maybe it's better that

we, um, don't see each other.

Yeah, right, right, right,

because I'm into maintaining
some sense of control,

and being with you,
I just have no control.

But I want you to know I think
you're a t-- terrific person.

Right, right. And me, you, too.

And hey, you know...

who knows,
maybe we'll be friends.

Right, right, friends, friends.

- Friends.
- Yes, I would--

I'd like to do that very much.

My God,
you've got a beautiful mouth.

[mellow music playing]

[*]

[song lyrics playing]

[*]

[*]