All language subtitles for Homicide.Life.on.the.Street.S01E01.Gone.for.Goode.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-NTb_track5_[eng]

[Lewis] If I could just
find this damn thing,
I could go home.

Life is a mystery,
just accept it.

You're in your own world,
Crosetti.

The quest is what matters.
Not finding, looking.

- I read about it in this book.
- Now, since when did you
ever read a book?

I read this book.
An excerpt of this book.

See, that's what I'm saying,
man, you said you read a book,

but you didn't read
nothing but an excerpt.

It says you never really find
what you're looking for,

'cause the whole point
is looking for it.

So, if you find it,
it defeats its own purpose.

You know,
you're in your own little world,

'cause don't nobody else want
to live there with you.

[Crosetti] You try
to explain everything,

but there are things
you cannot explain.

You know what you are, man?

You are a little
fat-head guinea.
You know that?

- A little Italian salami-brain.
- You're gonna regret that.

[Lewis] Man, let's come
back and look for this
projectile tomorrow, all right?

- [Crosetti] All right.
- [Lewis] All right,
man, what you got?

We found this wallet on him.
His name's Keith Becker.

[Crosetti] Mr. Becker ducked,
but he didn't duck good enough.

[indistinct] started ducking.

Was that the girl who was
with him when he got shot?

- [uniform] Yeah,
Dollie Withers.
- [Lewis] Dollie Withers?

[uniform] She was unconscious.
Ambo took her over
to Harbor Hospital.

Maybe she saw who did it.

A man with a gun
wanted them dead.
It ain't no mystery.

[Crosetti] Do you know
what a mystery is?
A mystery--

A mystery is...
when a man goes to the john,

he always brings
something to read.

But a female never
brings anything to read.

[Lewis] This man either
had his drugs stolen,
or he was stealing drugs.

Yeah. Bet she could explain.

That's the problem
with this job.

It's got nothing
to do with life.

[pensive music plays]

[theme song plays]

[music fades]

Uh, excuse me, hi.
Uh, this is um, homicide?

Homicide? We work for God.

Listen, I'm looking
for a Lieutenant Giardello.

Nice pen set.

[Giardello] So if I should
decide at some point...

Keen detective instinct.

Unsolved cases.

No, it couldn't be
misconstrued that way.

No, no. I won't.

Excuse me, I'm sorry again.
Where did you say that was?

There's a lack of confidence
in the detectives handling
those cases, wasn't there?

[Crosetti] No, no,
it couldn't be
misconstrued that way.

- Absolutely not.
- Uh, Lieutenant Giardello,
I'm, uh, Tim Bayliss.

Hey, I'm Giardello.

- Oh.
- Come on, I'll show you around.

The box where we match
wits against the city's
master criminals.

- There's one of the masters.
- [Bayliss] Oh.

The fishbowl.

Wherein said criminals reflect
on the error of their ways.

The board.
Open cases are in red,
closed cases are in black.

You look up there,
you know exactly
where you stand.

About how many things in life
can you say that, huh?

It looks like
a lot of open cases.

You know you're young
to be in homicide.

Yeah, I spent the last two years
on the mayor's security detail.

We'll get you
to fill out all the papers

that's necessary,
get you partnered up.

We work partners here.
One's primary, one's secondary.

Let me just say something, sir.

This is where
I've always wanted to be.
You know what I'm saying?

Homicide,
thinking cops, not a gun.

This.

That's very poetic.

[Howard] Hey, Gee.
Where's Munch?

- Felicia wants to know.
- The double-stabbing.

The Billard brothers.

He's over at Hopkins
with Bolander with a suspect.

Munch, homicide.
Is this the guy?

Let me see your hand.

Cut it on a fence.

- You want this one?
- You think I can't handle
this, Stanley?

I'm overwhelmed?
I'm out of my depth?

I'm gonna go make a phone call.

- What fence, Bernard?
- The corner of Denmore
and Gasse.

That's the schoolyard
over there, right?

- Let's go and see.
- See what?

Well, there better be some
blood around the fence, right?

The Billard brothers are
in the morgue with more holes
in 'em than Augusta National.

I'm thinking
someplace in the middle
of all that action,

the knife got slippery.

Okay, I was there,
but I didn't kill him.

Who killed him?

- A Jamaican killed him.
- A Jamaican? What's his name?

I don't know,
but he's the one that cut me,

said he'd kill me too,
if I said anything.

- When did he tell you that?
- When he drove me
to the hospital.

So this unnamed mystery J
kills both Billard Brothers,

cuts your hand,
drives you to Hopkins,
bleeding all over his car,

and swears you to secrecy
along the way.

- That's why I lied
about the fence.
- Okay, now I get it.

You're saving your really good
lies for some smarter cop,
is that it?

I'm just a donut
in the on-deck circle.

Wait 'til
the real guy gets here.

Wait 'til that
big guy comes back.

I'm probably just his secretary.

I'm just Montel Williams.
You want to talk to Larry King.

I'm telling the truth.

I have been a murder police
for ten years.

If you're gonna lie to me,
you lie to me with respect.

Now what is it?
Is it my shoes?

Is it my haircut?
Got a problem with my haircut?

Don't you ever again lie to me
like I'm Montel Williams.

I am not Montel Williams.
I am not Montel Williams!

Yeah, it's okay.
Call back. Yeah.

- Who's Montel Williams?
- I'm not Montel Williams.

Do you hear me?
I'm not Montel Williams.

[nurse on PA] Paging Dr. Wyatt.
Dr. Wyatt, call your office.

Let's go.

Is this Montel Williams
from your neighborhood?

I don't know.
There's something wrong
with this guy.

[Crosetti] Miss Withers,
about last night,

you and Mr. Becker are
outside the liquor store
where you both get shot?

They just started shooting.

Who, Miss Withers?
Did you see who?

Did you get a look
at who shot you?

[Lewis] You have any idea who
wanted to shoot your boyfriend?

[nurse on PA] Dr. Forrest,
dial 118, please.

She's in, she's out.

[nurse over PA] Please dial 118.

You want to wait?

Yeah, why
not, man?

You look pitiful, man.
You all right?

I couldn't sleep last night.
My mind was racing.
All night long.

Even when I was--
I was sleeping,
I was-- I was dreaming about it.

What?

There were two people
in the box with Lincoln
the night he was shot.

It was John Wilkes Booth,

and-- and there was a Major--
Major Henry Rathbone.

How come we don't hear
about this Henry Rathbone?

So you think
Major Henry Rathbone's the guy
that capped Lincoln, huh?

I don't know.
It just doesn't hang together.

Hey, man, Booth
jumped down on the stage,

broke his leg
trying to get away.

The president was shot.
What the hell would you do?

This is what
kept you up all night.

Who was the doctor
who set John Wilkes Booth's leg?

It was Dr. Samuel Mudd, okay?

100 years later, who gets
passed over for anchorman?

Roger Mudd.
It's his great-great-grandson.

What does that tell you
about the power structure
in this country?

Ex-- Excuse me.
I-- I-- I didn't notice.

Was Abraham Lincoln
on the board this morning?

Meldrick, all our lives
since we were kids,

we were taught in the history
books that John Wilkes Booth
shot Lincoln.

- [Dollie moans]
- Now, if that's not true...

maybe nothing's true.

You know, I'm doing my job.
I-- I'm building up my cases.

And-- And the whole
foundation's rotten.

You got that right.

[nurse on PA] Dr. Kravitz,
you have a visitor
in the main lobby.

Dr. Kravitz,
a visitor in the main lobby.

[office din]

- [phone rings]
- You want it?

That's all I need
is an another open case.

On the other hand, this could be
closed by the end of the day.

This could be the one
that gets me out of the hole.

- I'll take it.
- You got a feeling about this?

I'm saying, let me take it.
What does it matter to me
if I have an open case?

Be straight with me. Is this it?

- Do you feel the magic?
- I'm offering.

You want me to take it,
I'll be the primary.

Take it. Take it. Take it.

Howard, homicide.

[indistinct police
radio chatter]

[flies buzzing]

The whole neighborhood
is talking about it, so--

There is a dead body
in Jerry Jempson's basement.

So, I figure
I better get over here

before he starts
blaming it on me,
like everything else he does.

- Can you identify
the body, ma'am?
- Henry Biddle.

[Felton] Henry Biddle,
the bill collector
for Little Pages?

- That's him.
- You know this guy?

- [Felton] You know
Little Pages, downtown?
- Yeah.

- I bought a Divino.
- [Howard] What's a Divino?

It's like a couch.

- [Howard] Like, a sectional?
- With a bed in it.

- Oh, a Davenport.
- No, no. Not a Davenport.
A Divino.

They're having a sale,
18 a month on layaway.

- A Divino?
- A Divino.

A Divino!

[flies buzzing]

Husband owns this house
or rents?

A deadbeat. He's an ex-husband.

He's a fiend and no way is he
wrapping me up in this thing.

His name is Jerry Jempson.

J-E-M-P-S-O-N.

Listen, do you guys want
to look around for some clues?

The body in the basement
is sort of a big clue.

We still have to find Jerry.

[phone rings]

Hello.

Detective Howard
of the Homicide Unit.
Who is this?

It's Jerry.

You're amazing.

[Howard] So, Jerry,
when could we meet with you?

[office din]

Detective Munch.

You like the sound of that,
don't you?

Detective John Munch.

- Quit staring at me.
- I'm not staring at you.

It's your conscience.

Reminding you the Jenny Goode
case remains unsolved.

Didn't I solve Lena Como?

Didn't I get the paper this week
on my man, Clayvon?

[Bayliss] Excuse me. Hi.

Where can I get a cup of coffee?

[Munch] There's a machine
on the first floor.

First floor.
All right, thank you very much.

[Munch] Yeah, you're welcome.

- There's coffee right in there.
- That's our coffee.

Look, forget Jenny Goode.
It's been three months.

There's nothing new. It's over.

- Detective Munch?
- Jenny Goode is pended.

Shiner put her death
down as a road kill.

- It's over.
- Shiner is a coroner.

His job is "cause of death."

What does he know
from murder or not murder?

It's not even on the board.

We don't have enough to worry
about that is on the board,

I have to worry
about Jenny Goode?

Detective Munch.

Detective Munch.

You see, you think
I need your respect.

But I don't. It is known.

My bunkies back in the district
know what kind of cop I am.

Jenny Goode was murdered, John.

Someone has to speak for her.

[typewriter keys thudding]

[Munch] I can't believe
you're tearing that up.

See, I lied to protect
my girlfriend's family.

They live downstairs from me.
It must have been
one of them that did it.

Hey, look,
I'm telling the truth now.
What, you don't believe me?

Frankly, I liked
the Jamaican story better.

It had a kind of
Elmore Leonard quality.

Let me get some more paper.

See what you can
come up with, okay?
Thank you.

Yeah, Dollie Withers. Yeah.

Yeah, she's-- she's conscious?
Okay, she's alert?

What's with the ties he wears?

- [Howard] Who?
- Pembleton.

Enough already with Pembleton.

A pink tie
with a polo player on it.

A polo player?
This is a Black homicide cop.

What does he got to do
with a polo player?

Yeah, it'd be like you wearing
a tie with a brain on it.

Hey, hey.
My wife buys my ties, pal, okay?

What's that supposed to mean,
a tie with a brain on it?

Forget about it.

Face it, Gee, you let that guy
get away with murder.

[Howard] Read the papers.
Gee lets everybody
get away with murder.

I talked to the hospital.
She woke up.

That guy thinks
he's smarter than everybody else

because he listens
to Emmylou Harris.

- [laughs] What?
- Who are we talking
about, Pembleton?

Pembleton has
that New York attitude.

You know, it's like
that black-and-white movie.
You know the one I mean?

- [Lewis] What movie?
- Uh, the black-and-white
movie

with, uh, with Gary Cooper.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pride of the Yankees.

- [Crosetti] No,
with Grace Kelly.
- High Noon.

- High Noon.
- High--

You're a salami-brain.
You know that?
You really are.

You're gonna regret that.

The-- the reason why
Pembleton goes out by himself

is 'cause he likes
to go out by himself.

Gary Cooper, on the other hand,
in High Noon,

went out by himself 'cause
wouldn't nobody go with him.

Well, then
what does Pride of the Yankees
have to do with it?

I don't know.
I didn't bring it up.
You brought it up.

- I brought up High Noon.
- [Howard laughs]

What does High Noon
have to do with New York?

Pride of the Yankees.
That's New York.

[Howard] Who's the wife
in Pride of the Yankees?

All I'm saying is,

Pembleton doesn't have
a partner.

So we gotta listen
to this whole long-ass analogy

just so you can prove
a point that Pembleton
don't have a partner.

The guy's just gonna
pull his weight, Gee.
You gotta say something.

You want him to have a partner,
you be his partner.

I want Howard
with the new guy, anyway.

- [Lewis laughs]
- Wait a minute. This is decided?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm not partnering
with Pembleton.

You don't like orders, Mr.
[indistinct]?

You are a member
of a police department.

All that means
is you just teed off
a guy with a gun.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What about the check?

What about the check?

That whole thing was just
a pretext not to pay the check.

- He always does this.
- [Lewis] Yeah, you know what?

With the way you squeeze a buck,
Washington thinks
you're Martha.

He's gonna regret that.

- He's always doing that
with the check.
- Oh, man.

[Munch] How old would you say?

[Bolander] Can't tell
'til we flip her.

[Munch] Doesn't look
like a robbery.

[Bolander] Jenny Goode
was murdered, John.

Someone has to speak for her.

Tell you what
my first question is.

[Munch] Where's her
other sandal?

- Frank Pembleton.
- Oh, hello, Gee.

This is a homicide office.
What'd you do, get lost?

I hear you've become
a yenta.

- Felton needs a partner.
You need a partner.
- And what about Howard?

You don't want to see me put
Felton with the new guy, do you?

Look, Gee.

Partners are the last thing
I need, the way I work.

Maybe the way you work
is why you need a partner.

- Huh?
- Gee, I think you need Lezapin.

You know what I mean?
It builds the memory.

Because if you look out
there on the board,

you'll see an awful lot of black
under my name to jog it for you.

You need to be
more of a team player.

Oh, a team player.
Oh, a team player.

Come on,
that's the squad talking.

- You know what
that's all about, Gee.
- No, no, no.

This is not a Black thing.
This is a blue thing.

Blue.

Gee, let me frankly confess.

A bunch of guys running around
and solving suicides.

It's a waste of my time.

But the bosses upstairs
want to see

that something is getting done.

Nothing is getting done.

- Nothing.
- [scoffs] So they kick you,
and you kick me.

No, no, no. Look, no.
Look at it this way.

Now you can kick Felton.

Amazing. Life is amazing.

- Really?
- This must be a mistake.

Am I actually going on a routine
call with Frank Pembleton?

You're right.
It's a mistake.

Frank Pembleton only handles
the big investigations.

This is just some dead guy.

See what happens
when I come into the office?

Imagine handling a routine call

with Detective Frank Pembleton.

I'm slumping.

Oh, man.

Don't tell me, somebody forgot
to write down the parking space.

Who took the car out last?
It's on the back of the card.

I did. I forgot.

[Felton] So I was right.
This is a big investigation.

Find Pembleton's car.

Pembleton's on special
detail again.

- Find Pembleton's car.
- Well, you know how it is.

They all look alike.

Now, let's just go upstairs
and get another one.

Oh, get another car.

That's exactly the kind
of cat you are, isn't it?

[Felton] We're not gonna
check every one of these cars.

[Pembleton] I have a method
to find this car.

And I'm going to find this car.

So go upstairs. Go ahead.

'Cause I sure as hell
didn't invite you.

Well, that's exactly what
you want me to do, isn't it?

And that's why
I'm gonna stay right here.

Well, suit yourself.

[Felton]
Your lonely days are over, pal.
I'm staying right here.

[Munch sighs] A bar
with a German-sounding name.

A bunch of brain-dead witnesses.

- Hagens. Is that German?
- [Bolander] Irish.

Either he had a mustache,
or he didn't have a mustache.

Rick or Ray,
who was driving a black 280Z

or a $60,000 custom Lotus
with gold-winged doors,

that may or may not have had
a flaming eagle on the hood.

But they all clearly remember
that his uncle had
a bar in Highland Town

with a German-sounding name.

[Bolander] They all remember
long, blond hair.

[Munch] Great.
We could arrest Axl Rose.

Who is Montel Williams?

[Munch] He's from Baltimore.
He's got his own talk show.

A guy from Baltimore
has got his own talk show?
How did he do that?

Connections.
That's how it works
in that business.

Did you pull the ident photos
on the suspects?

German-sounding name.
Adolf Hitler Bar.
How does that work for you?

You take the driver's names.

You go down to the first floor,
and you match 'em
with the photo files.

I admit, it's a long way
to the first floor. I know.

I will get the ident photos.

What do I know?
I'm just a poor, dumb,
white boy from Hampton.

There's plenty of red ink
under your name, too.

- Just explain it to me.
What does it prove?
- I am not going upstairs.

I'll hotwire one for you.

Why don't you just
go ahead, and say it?

- Take your free shot.
Go ahead. Say it.
- Say what?

"I don't like
being in the basement
with that nigger."

This is insanity.

Oh, yeah,
but you didn't deny it, did you?

The way you dress,
who even knows you're Black?

Do you think I'm stupid, huh?
You think I'm stupid?

You think I don't know
what you're saying
to every other guy on the squad?

There's a body
decomposing right now
at the West Point Motel.

Look, you resent me. You--

You resent me,
because every day I prove
that you are no better than me.

I guess that makes
your little world

a little less understandable
than it already is.

No, I resent you
because when you walk
in the squad room,

suddenly my phone weighs a ton.

I resent you
because you won't go up
and get another car.

And you think that
makes you somebody special.

Because I'm stuck
in this stinking hot garage,

because you, Frank Pembleton,
have got to find that car.

I am not going upstairs!

[Felton]
Just explain it to me. Why?

[Pembleton] Because
what if it's the next one?

Don't you understand anything?

- Hey, Frank.
- Beau.

- [Lewis laughs]
- Hey, what's up?

[Felton] What if
it's not the next one?

[Pembleton] It's the next one.
It's not the next one.

There's a whole 'nother
garage on the other side
of the building

we haven't checked yet
we can still go to.

Are you sure
you didn't pull up on East Side?

[Pembleton] Look,
if you want to partner with me,
you do it my way.

So, you believe that--
that someone's trying
to kill you, Ms. Withers,

and not Mr. Becker?

All I know is if I had $5,000,
I could get out of it.

But instead of $5,000,
what I got is you.

What do you mean
if you have $5,000?

My Aunt Calpurnia.

She told me it would take $5,000

to protect me
from getting killed.

That's from the compensation.
From the last time.

- What do you mean last time?
- [Dollie] I got my throat cut.

That $5,000 is gone.
I gotta live, you know.

Against all odds, I would say.

Let me just get this straight.

Some guy come
and slashed your throat,

and you got $5,000
from the State Crime
Victims' Compensation.

And then someone else come along
and shot you in your head,

because you didn't have
$5,000 to give to your aunt,
is that right?

I got shot in the head
another time for nothing.
Bullet's still in there.

I could tell her
to take the money
from the life insurance,

but by then, I'm already dead.

What life insurance?

Uh, Ms. Withers,
is your Aunt Calpurnia

the beneficiary
of the life insurance?

She says you gotta prepare
for the unexpected.

She says,
"Look at all the tragedy I got
in my life with my husbands."

Life is a veil of tears,
is what she calls it.

[Crosetti] Uh, how many
husbands has she had?

- Five.
- Five husbands?

She's had a lot of tragedy.
A lot of tragedy.

And, um, she's had
life insurance on all of them?

Thank the Lord.

- Praise God.
- Praise Him.

[Howard] Jerry Jempson
never showed.

We're gonna go check out
his favorite drug corners.

- What's going on?
- Ask him.

It's close. I can smell it.

You're a bloodhound, Frank.

Somebody forgot
to write down the number?

I don't want to talk about it.

Bayliss here tells me

he's fresh from
the mayor's security detail.

[Felton] The wagging tail
of a political favor, huh?

I'd say three months
before he proves himself
an absolute [indistinct].

[Bayliss]
I was on the SWAT team.

- [Howard] Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

- [Howard] What'd you do
with the SWAT team?
- [Felton] Drills.

That's what SWAT teams do,
rope climbing.

- It's called rappelling.
- [Felton] Oh, rappelling.

Thin blue line between us
and the terrorist invasion
of Baltimore, huh?

Yeah, well,
we had plenty of calls.

[Pembleton] There's blood
in the water.

You ever see a dead guy?

I didn't think so. Hey, Frank.

Forget about the car,
we're gonna go take the rookie
to see his first dead guy.

[Crosetti]
We started investigating
this Becker shooting,

and now we find out the bullet's
meant for Dolly Withers,

because her aunt's got
insurance money on her,

and the same aunt may have
killed five of her husbands?

[man] Forget about it.

She didn't even put
a stone over his head.

Didn't want to spend the money.

We do an autopsy,
we know it's poison, right?

We think
Miss Church killed her husband
for the insurance money.

- The reverend?
- Her husband.

[laughs] She's buried
a few of them.

She's like
a regular around here.

Her last husband,
Reverend Rayfield Church.

Buried without a stone over him.

Woman throws around nickels
like manhole covers.

It's like every name
in this place is, like,
an old case of mine.

Do you know her niece,
by any chance, Dolly Withers?

Saw her at the funeral.
She had her throat cut.

The funeral before that,
she had a bullet in her head.

Yeah, well, she caught
another bullet in her head.

[laughs] We'll need an atom bomb
to get her in here.

- [Crosetti] Hey, what was that?
- [man] That's the top.

You got the top of the box
right there.

Just pull that out,
don't even mess with it.

[Lewis] That's a pretty
cheap-looking casket, ain't it?

Styrofoam.
Buried like a hamburger.

I could have put him
in stainless steel for $2,200.

Find that for less
than six grand.

- Tell him to hurry up, will you?
- Hurry up, will you?

I could have put him
in solid cherry for $1,800.

Try and find that
for less than four grand.

He look a little smaller,

like-- like a--
a prune or something.

Don't you think
he looks heavier in the picture?

Nobody stays fat down there.

[Mr. Goode]
You don't know what it's like.

To lose a daughter
is bad enough,

but not to know what happened?

Anything you forgot
to mention to us?

Um, any names of friends?

Friends of friends?

We've been racking our brains
since the day we saw you.

When was that, three months ago?

Did you find a diary,
a matchbook, anything?

A piece of paper
with a phone number on it?

I just can't believe anybody
would want to kill Jenny.

Honestly, I can't think
of a stone we've left unturned.

We got the word
out and everything.

Excuse me, you got the word out?

[Mr. Goode] You know, that the
police were looking for someone

with a black sports car.

Maybe it had Jenny's
missing sandal in it.

Did I say something wrong?

Mr. Goode, if I was the man
that killed your daughter

and I heard the police
were looking for a black car,

how long do you think
it would be before
I ditched that car?

How long before
I burnt that sandal?

I was just trying to help.

There's a basic
principle at work here,
maybe I should explain.

This is trying to find someone
who doesn't want to be found.

Well, you know,
it's not like we'd heard

from you people or anything.

Grandma, do you want to come
and look at my picture?

No, honey.

The police are here.

Why don't you go back
in the other room, and play?

Are they gonna bring
my mommy back?

[Pembleton] I don't like the way
he's laying.

[Bayliss]
There's no sign of struggle.

There's no overt trauma,
no bullet holes,

no knife wounds,
no bruises or contusions.

[Uniform No. 1]
Robert Hempstead Burger,

65 years old.

Drives in once a week
to spend the night

with whatever he can get over
in Patterson Park for 20 bucks.

[Pembleton] Hm. 65?
He gets the senior
citizen's discount.

[laughter]

[Uniform No. 1] The desk man
was the one that found him.

- You want to talk to him?
- [Pembleton] Yeah, in a sec.

- Thanks.
- Okay.

Now, the blood under the nose
could just be from the decomp.

Could have been strangled.

There would be
petechial hemorrhaging

in the whites of the eyes
from the strangulation.

[Pembleton]
You know, I'm confused suddenly.
Whose case is this?

It's a fat guy. He's 65.

That could just be
a heart attack.

It's a murder.
Where are the lab techs?

I think we can pull
some prints off his glasses.

If somebody killed him,
they did a lousy job
of robbing him.

[Pembleton] It's a murder.

Well, then, how come
his wallet's still here, hmm?

How come his car isn't?

Look, Frank, uh, we're gonna go
look for Jerry Jempson, okay?

Yeah, okay, yeah.
Leave this rookie with me.

- Call in and get me a car?
- [Kay] You bet.

[woman] Detective Howard.

You know...

you couldn't be
much worse than Felton.

You remember what kind of car
Mr. Burger was driving?

T-Bird. White.

- What year?
- New one.

- Seen anybody with him?
- Just the boy.

- What boy?
- Johnny.

Went down,
lived in the country with him.

- Hmm.
- Same boy since January.

[office din]

[Crosetti] Why don't we just
arrest Mrs. Church?

Because I want a confession,
and I'm not bringing her in

'til I get
what I need to get that.

Well, I want this whole thing
to be over with.

You know, if she's this cold
that she can kill five husbands,
she's gonna be tough to crack.

No, it's impossible, she won't
have killed five husbands.

Yeah, and we're gonna have
to dig up all five of them.

- Oh, but, uh...
- How are you?

It's like a traffic jam in here.

Hey, why don't you
look at the bright side?

Now, look, we got five
dunkers here. No, six.

We got five dead husbands,
right, and Becca.

Aunt Calpurnia
is gonna single-handedly

drive our
clearance rate up to 60%.

- Me and you gonna be heroes.
- Don't talk like that.

You act like
you never seen a dead body.

A dead body's a different thing.

You flip them over,
and you take their picture,

and then you bring them
down here,

and it's not the same
as digging is.

Yeah, I know, it's their final
repose.

You disrupt that,
and it breaks apart the whole--

We have a problem.

You dug up the wrong guy.

How'd they know?

They know, because they found
a hospital bracelet on him

that didn't say
Reverend Rayfield Church.

It said Eugene Bonaparte.
That's how come they knew.

- Huh.
- Huh.

They did the autopsy before
they found the I.D. bracelet.

- You know what an autopsy is?
- I know.

- They dug him out like a canoe.
- [laughing]

It is bad enough
when you do it on the right man.

Well, he ain't
in the right place.

See, now you're
getting somewhere.

Well, what I mean is,
we're at the right place,

but he ain't
where he's supposed to be.

Okay, let me just
ask you something here.

If we go to where Eugene
Bonaparte is supposed to be,

you think we got a hope in hell
of digging up the Reverend?

Maybe.

Why? They died a month apart.

Well, maybe not.

You don't know where he is,
do you?

The man is lost.

This man was entrusted to you
for his eternal rest.

- Eternal rest.
- This is a man of God,

and now he's--
he's out there somewhere.

He's under the mud.
He's in a hole.

He's lost.

So we'll find you someone else.
How many do you need?

[phone ringing]

I thought I put you
with the new guy.

Pembleton's with the new guy.

Is there a reason
why I can't control my own men?

It's better
to be feared than loved?

Look, I'm not going
to remind you about this again.

A tie is a dress code.
You're not working narcotics.

I'll tell you, I don't get
no respect, all right?

You don't deserve
to be respected.

Jerry Jempson's disappeared.
Face it, the no-hit is over.

Uh, Detective Howard,
I'm Jerry Jempson.

You're not on anything,
are you, Jerry?

No, ma'am.
No, that's a stupid question.

- Stupid question, huh?
- Well, it will be, yeah.

- Clean as a whistle,
then, right?
- I'm pretty clean, yeah.

Jerry, we had an appointment
earlier this morning.

- Can you tell me
why you didn't show up?
- I lost my appointment book.

Do you have any idea
why a dead body was found
in your basement?

Is that what that smell was?

You remember
talking to me on the phone
this morning, Jerry?

Yes, I do.
Actually, you look better
in person than on the phone.

I was kind of surprised
when I saw you.

- Have you ever met
Henry Biddle?
- Biddle.

- Name sound familiar?
- Biddle.

Kind of rhymes with fiddle, huh?

Biddle. Yeah, I think I--
Yeah, uh...

Well, I don't...

No, Biddle, no.
I'm sorry, no. Biddle, no.

Well, jeez, uh...

Can I think about that question?
Because I'm not sure about it.

Biddle, Biddle, Biddle, Biddle,
Biddle, Biddle, Biddle.

No, no, no Biddle.

[office din]

Do you have a nephew named Rick?

No.

- Ray?
- No.

You know anybody named
Rick or Ray, long blond hair?

- No.
- Drives a black 280Z?

- No.
- You know a girl
named Jenny Goode?

- No.
- Redhead?

Do I know a redhead?

What about a knockwurst?
Can you give me a knockwurst?

You have to pay for it.

Yeah, he'll pay for mine, too.

I'll confess.
Would that satisfy you?
I did it, okay? It's over.

I confess. I had a blackout.
Now it comes back to me.

I was driving in my car.

I killed Jenny Goode.
My tires hydroplaned over her.

Case closed. I did it.

Cancel the knockwurst.
I'm going to the gas chamber.

Oh, you think
we can get the death penalty?

It's like a death penalty
being with you every time

you smoke in the car
with the windows closed.

You're not gonna smoke now,
are you, while we're eating?

It's still got
its little cover on.

So you practice safe smoking,
is that it?

Long blond hair.

Anybody have
long blond hair anymore?

"Did you pull the ident photos?"

Yeah, I pulled the ident photos.

I'm pulling 'em now.
I'm looking at 'em now.

Detective Munch.

Well, it's semi-long, I guess.

Oh.

[office din]

Good morning.

- Give me a quarter.
- Give you a quarter?

If I give you a quarter,
will you shut up

and leave me alone
about Jenny Goode?

Please?

It is with mixed emotions
that I report

that you've acquired
the odor of a dedicated police.

- Thank you.
- Find anything?

Yeah, one guy's got a black 280Z
with front-end damage,

but he has thinning brown hair.

Another guy
has long blond hair,

but he has
a tan-colored Trans Am.

But there is one
that keeps coming back to me.

This is from two weeks
after Jenny Goode was murdered.

What is wrong
with this photograph?

[sighs]

- Black hair.
- Blond eyebrows.

Hmm.

Detective Munch.

That is police work.

His hair is dyed.

Now, why would some
motorhead from Blair Road,

two weeks after
Jenny Goode's murder,

dye his hair black?

- Let's go shake his tree.
- Absolutely.

Detective Munch.

[Bolander sighs]
You ran her down, Jimmy.

I was drinking.
I don't remember.

Don't lie to me.
She was run over in that lot.

Look, I just thought
I hit the curb.

I remember,
I thought I hit the curb.

No curb in that lot.

[sighs] I was drinking.

You picked her up,
you paid for her drinks,

maybe even let her
smoke some of your dope.

Then you drove over
to an abandoned lot to have sex.

Then she said
she wanted to go home.

You struggled.

She lost her sandal
when she got out of the car.

And then you ran her down.

I-- I don't-- [sighs]

I don't remember.
I was drinking.

We found some red hair
in the undercarriage.

I-- I was drinking.

I was drinking.

I was drinking.

I was drinking.

I was drinking.

[suspenseful music plays]

[officer] Homicide.

Where's the coroner?

You're not supposed to say
coroner, sir.

You're supposed to say
medical examiner.

We're gonna have
a conversation about
the Jenny Goode road kill,

which just happens to be
a murder.

I may wake up everybody
in this morgue.

You don't say morgue, sir.
It's medical examiner's office.

Hey.

What?

What's a lady like you
doing in a place like this?

Looking for Mr. Right.

[Howard reading]
"To Lt. Al Giardello Jr.,
from Detective Steve Crosetti.

Subject: Ethnic slurs.
Comments made
by Detective Meldrick Lewis."

[Crosetti] I told you
you would regret that.

- You can't send that in.
- I told you you'd regret it.

You give that to Gee,
that makes it official.

[Howard reading]
"It's something
which I have never faced

in this enlightened department,
and hoped I never would."

- That's not funny.
- [Howard reading] "Nonetheless,
on the above date,

Detective Lewis
twice made vicious verbal
attacks on my ancestry."

- What'd you say?
- I call him a salami-head,
which is what he is.

[Howard reading]
"As you know, my parents were
born and raised in Italy,

and my father struggled to gain
purchase upon these shores

by playing the homely
trade of butcher,

which made the salami brain
remark particularly--"

I think you need
a hyphen in "salami-brain."

[Lewis] You're not gonna--
you can't send that in.

[Munch] When did the Italians
become the Italians?

Hey, you know something?

Gee is not gonna notice
the joke. He ain't got
no sense of humor.

Who says it's a joke?

They go from Romans
to the Italians. When?

One day it's "Friends,
Romans, countrymen."

The next day, it's--
"Yo, hey, oh! Eh!"

[Howard reading]
"Being of negligible
ancestry yourself..."

- I like that. Nice touch.
- [Lewis] You can't say
that stuff.

Man, they take that
stuff seriously, man.

- That's like sexual harassment.
- That's my next memo.

- [Lewis] Oh, for--
- What do you like better,
shame or chagrin?

[all] Chagrin.

You cannot insult an ethnic
group worse than the truth.

- Just lay off the Irish.
- [Munch] The Irish.

A million people died
in the potato famine.

Ireland is an island.

An island, by definition,
is surrounded by fish.

A million people died
because they didn't like fish.

Potatoes are nothing.
That's like with
a four-year-old.

- It's not even the main course.
- [Lewis] Give me the thing.

- Give me the thing. Give me.
- Hey, yo, yo.

- [Howard] It's perfect there.
- The memo goes here.
The memo goes in.

- [Pembleton] How you doing?
- [Bayliss] Hey.

Uh, give me a [indistinct].

- Glass of milk.
- Uh, make mine a club soda.

So, you think
we're gonna catch that kid?

- What kid?
- You know, the Burger murderer.

You think it was that kid
that he picked up in the park?

Well, the car's on the teletype.
We'll catch the kid
with the car.

Why do you think that
this kid would be riding around

in Burger's white T-bird
when that was the easiest way
to link him to the murder?

I don't know,
because crime makes you stupid.

[laughs]
Can I quote you on that?

Okay, listen.

Now, I know
everybody thinks that I'm here
because of the mayor,

but I went to the mayor
because of this.

All right, two years
with this trap on my leg

because I knew
it would get me to homicide.

Look, kid, I got
nothing against you, but, uh,

I don't need a partner.

I don't want it,
and I don't need it.

Yeah, not "it." Me.

- Okay. I don't want you.
- Okay.

["Young Disciples Theme"
by Young Disciples]

♪ Constant struggle
And trouble and fighting ♪

♪ Waging war with metaphors
To increase your menopause ♪

♪ This is raw like a warrior ♪

♪ Who won't go down
Beneath the feet ♪

♪ Of stampeding down
Trodden creation that's weak ♪

♪ My mind's alight with music
Just grips like a vice ♪

[police siren wailing]

What do you observe
about the suspect, detective?

Uh, let's see,
approximately 5'10", 150.

- He's got, uh, scratches
on his left cheek.
- No, no, no, no, no.

The suspect is asleep.

Oh, yeah, he's been
in the room for four hours.

Rule Number Four.

A guilty man left in the box
alone falls asleep.

Oh. Are there any other rules?

Yeah. Uncooperative.

Too cooperative. Talks too much.

Talks too little. Blinks.

Stares. Gets his story straight.

Messes his story up.
There are no other rules.

- It's an expression.
- Yeah, I'm hip.

So, you gonna interrogate him?

Interrogate him?

Yeah, yeah,
I'm just saying that,

you know,
not a partner thing, but, uh,

when you interrogate him,
I'd like to sit in.

Then what you will be
privileged to witness
will not be an interrogation,

but an act of salesmanship.

As silver-tongued and thieving
as ever moved used cars,

Florida swampland, or Bibles.

But what I am selling...

is a long prison term

to a client who has
no genuine use for the product.

So, that's a "yes."

[Pembleton] Jonathan! My man.

[huffs] We got some
serious business to sort out.

Can I have a cigarette?

Give my friend a cigarette.

This is Detective Bayliss.
He lives over on Eager Street.

Right next to the gas chamber.

You got any Kools?

Before we get started,
let's get through
this paperwork.

You want to read that?

I-- I didn't do nothing.

Just go ahead
and read it out loud,
so I know you're reading it.

"You have the absolute right
to remain silent."

Okay.

Just put your initial
right next to that one.

"You have the right to talk
with a lawyer at any time

before any questioning,
before answering any questions."

Okay, you understand all that.

Just make your initial
right next to that one.

This is out of ink.

[Pembleton sighs]

- What if I want a lawyer?
- Fine!

That's your
constitutional right.

Of course, you get up here,
and they'll call that lawyer.

I got to write it up
the way it looks,

and the way it looks right now
is first-degree murder.

Go get him, Frank.
We need this one.

- I-- I think I...
- Oh, you want a lawyer?

I'll get you a lawyer.

I get up there
and walk out of here,

the next face you're going
to see is a state's attorney,

a three-piece suit
with a license to kill.

Listen,
all I did was steal the car.

You guys want to arrest me,
arrest me.

I never met this guy.

Son, why do you think
we're in here?

Huh?

The only reason
I'm in here is to make sure

you got nothing to say
for yourself,

before I write it all down.

You take a look
around yourself, Johnny.

Go ahead. You take a good look.

This room is like a wall,

and at the very tip-top
of that wall

is a small, open window.

A way out.

Son, I am that window.

So, what happened?

Huh? What was it?

I'll tell you what it was.

He got a seizure.

You got scared, and you ran out.
That's what it was.

You're wasting my time.

[Johnny]
Yeah. Yeah, he had a seizure.

[chuckling]
Whoa, so, now you're talking.

Okay, here's your rights form.

Go ahead, read that.

"I am willing
to answer questions,

and I do not want
any attorney at this time.

My decision to answer
questions without having
an attorney present

is free and voluntary
on my part."

[Pembleton]
Okay, go ahead and sign it, son.

So...

you were in the Westport Motel
with Burger?

Yeah, I was there.

You were there when he died,
just the two of you?

He had the seizure.

[Pembleton] Uh-huh.

"Says that he was there...

alone, in the hotel room,

- with Burger..."
- [pen scraping]

"...at the time...

of death."

[Johnny] He started shaking,
and flapping his arms,

and his eyes bugged out.

Johnny, Johnny, Johnny,
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.

Burger was strangled.

Huh?

[chuckles]
The autopsy report proves it.

You did a man's crime, son.

Now act like a man.

You strangled him.

[Johnny panting]

[whispering]
Go ahead and say it.

Say it, son.

[ragged breathing]

Yeah. Yeah, I strangled him.

Okay.

[Johnny panting]

It's gonna be all right.

I saw what you did to him.
That kid wanted a lawyer.

- Wow, did he say it?
- Yeah, he said it.

- He said--
- No, no, he said
a lot of different things.

I never heard him say,
"I want a lawyer."

- No, that was very clear.
- Well, that's the law.

I know the law, and the law says
that you give the man a chance.

Well, he had his chance.

Listen, you tricked him
into waiving his rights.

You tricked him
into a confession.

Now, since when does that
autopsy report prove

that Burger was strangled, huh?

Look, do you think
he killed Burger?

Yeah, of course I do.
That's not the point.

So if this case
ever goes to trial,

the kid's lawyer gonna have him
up on the stand saying,

"Oh, he changed
his mind about the sex."

And there's not a man
or woman on that jury

that's not gonna think
that Burger was a dirty old man,

so he got
what was coming to him!

So the state's attorney's
gonna bargain it down
to five years,

the kid's gonna do
a third of that,

and you think
he didn't have a chance.

Listen, I just wanna know
what an innocent man

- would do with the same chance.
- What--

What is that?
What is that? What is that?

Is that a line
from your textbook, rookie?

Stay out of my face!

[thunder rumbling]

[Munch]
It's really getting to me.

I wake up in the morning,
I'm lying in bed,

and I'm checking around
my own body to see
if there's a chalk outline.

[Crosetti] Yeah, you should see
what we went through
at the cemetery today.

[Crosetti snickering]

[Munch] You know,
I could retire with half-pension

and go into the drywall
business with my brother.

Now, come on, you retire?

That's like saying
you're gonna be a ballerina.

It ain't possible.

Last year, we had 325 cases
and we solved three-quarters.

This year, we'll have 350,
solve another three-quarters.

It's like mowing the lawn.

You mow the lawn, the next week,
you gotta mow it again.

It's homicide.

The one thing
this country's still good at.

[Munch] Drywall.

You put up the drywall,
you have a sense
of accomplishment.

Yeah, all right.
Let me tell you a business.

You want to know a business?
The diaper business.

- That's a business.
- [Munch] Diapers, like, diapers?

Yeah, yeah. Adult diapers.

More adults wear diapers
than kids wear diapers.

That's a fact.
Disposable diapers.

No kidding.

Let me tell you how
I got the idea.

Think mail order, right? Huh?

Discreet little package,
delivered direct to the door.

Just the three of us.
Can't lose.

This could be it.
This could be our ticket out.

Mail order disposable diapers.
That's actually a career?

What would you rather do?
Bust your butt for a buck
the rest of your life?

Say you're
a Supreme Court justice.

You're standing
in a checkout line

at a supermarket with diapers.

Imagine the embarrassment.

[Crosetti] What embarrassment?

I heard Madonna's
wearing diapers

in that new
photo book she's got.

If that catches on,
it could be the end of it.

Look at this, huh?

That's what I've become.

I'm-- I'm just an easy mark.
I'm a fat old white man.

That's all I am,
and this guy's trying-- jeez.

I'll take care of it.
This is a New-Age mugger.

Neither rain, nor snow,
nor sleet--

Hey, Munch, Munch,
if you kill him, he's mine.

Hey, we're police.
Go rob somebody else.

[quiet chatter]

[humming quietly]

[phone ringing]

[phone keeps ringing]

You want it?

- [phone keeps ringing]
- You ready?

Take it.

Detective Bayliss.

[low, tense music plays]

[siren wailing in the distance]

[*]

[indistinct
police radio chatter]

Homicide.

[*]