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1
00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:05,873
Ooh!
Don't mind if I do.
2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,108
[ Chuckles ]
3
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,442
Mm!
Oh.
4
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:11,112
Ugh!
This is just orange juice.
5
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,914
Why put it in a champagne flute?
That's just mean.
6
00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:15,916
Don't worry.
7
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,985
The kids are out
buying the champagne.
8
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:21,389
You're going home soon.
We have to celebrate every day.
9
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,724
I know. That's why
we should blow it out.
10
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,593
Ooh.
Let's go to Vegas this weekend.
11
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:28,162
Oh, my God.
I'd kill to go to Vegas.
Mm-hmm.
12
00:00:28,296 --> 00:00:30,764
You know, I've been dying
to go to M&M World.
13
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:33,767
But I can't jet off to Vegas.
I've got children to raise.
14
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,303
And where are those children
right now?
15
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:37,037
At the liquor store.
Mm.
16
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:40,574
Okay. But I came out here
to take care of them.
17
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:41,975
They need me.
18
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,244
Well, they don't need you
this weekend.
19
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,146
I do.
I'm in my 50s!
20
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,747
I can't suck
tequila shooters
21
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,416
out of a Chippendale's
belly button alone.
22
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,318
That would look sad.
23
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,253
They let you do that?
24
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,589
I don't know if they let me,
but I'm gonna!
25
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,825
[ Laughs ]
It does sound fun.
26
00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,327
Maybe too fun for a mom?
27
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:00,794
Oh, Jean.
28
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:03,197
This is the only time
we get to have fun.
29
00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:06,033
We're done raising our kids,
our parents don't need us yet,
30
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,602
and we're still young enough
to get our freak on!
31
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,971
This is our sweet spot!
32
00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:12,540
Do you have
any Dr. Scholl's foot pads?
33
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:15,008
'Cause I hear there's a lot
of walking.
34
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,445
You know what? You're right.
If not now, when?
35
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:18,912
It's off-season at work.
36
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:21,115
The kids seem stable
for the moment.
37
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:22,516
My parents
are on a cruise.
38
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:23,851
I think I'm in!
39
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:26,787
Oh!
Can we go see Barry Manilow?
40
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,157
No,
but we can meet up after.
41
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:31,659
[ Sighs ]
Sorry we took so long,
42
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:33,661
but you'll never guess
who we ran into.
43
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:36,230
Nick Harper,
from high school.
44
00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:37,765
Oh, yeah. Nick.
45
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,133
Isn't he the one
you had a crush on, Jackie?
46
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:40,334
What? No.
47
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,303
God, Mom.
Way to be cool.
48
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,873
Yeah. Well, Freddie has a crush
on him now.
I do not.
49
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:49,076
He said hi to you, and you said,
"I miss you, too."
50
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,311
Well, what's Nick up to
these days?
51
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:53,046
Oh, he's amazing.
52
00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:54,282
He moved out here
a few years ago.
53
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:55,883
He made it big on some app
54
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,951
that lets you hire celebrity
look-alikes for parties.
55
00:01:58,085 --> 00:01:59,787
Oh. Twinsies.
56
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,190
That's how I got LL Cool J
at my birthday party.
57
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,358
Well, LL Cool K.
58
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:07,495
Well, some tech company
bought it, he cashed out,
59
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,297
and now he just spends his time
doing charity work.
60
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:10,864
And since I have nothing
in my life,
61
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:13,066
I had to lie and tell him
I was on "Top Chef."
62
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:14,868
I finished third
last season.
63
00:02:15,002 --> 00:02:17,238
Well, if you had to lie,
why did you finish third?
64
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:19,407
I would have won.
It's all political.
65
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,209
How about a toast?
66
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,076
To reconnecting
with old friends,
67
00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:26,447
to having friends visit,
and to me going to Vegas.
68
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:28,015
Sharon and I are going
to Vegas!
69
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,484
Ooh.
No, it's okay.
There's booze in it.
70
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,853
I wouldn't trick you
into drinking just juice.
71
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,456
Oh, no. I'm not really supposed
to be doing alcohol right now.
72
00:02:35,589 --> 00:02:37,625
Oh. We have coffee.
No caffeine either.
73
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:38,892
No, I'm good.
Keep brunching.
74
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,262
Yes, everyone.
Help yourself.
75
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,531
Sharon, can I see you
for a minute?
76
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,299
[ Whispering ]
Sharon.
77
00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:46,767
No alcohol?
78
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,101
Or caffeine?
79
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,070
She's wearing a flowy top.
80
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,240
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
Mm-hmm.
81
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:54,608
That they should've bought more
than one bottle of champagne.
82
00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:58,011
No.
I think Celia's pregnant.
83
00:02:58,145 --> 00:03:04,084
***
84
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:09,923
***
85
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:18,165
Are you sure?
She doesn't look pregnant.
86
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,167
Mom, I need to "Top Chef"
my Instagram
87
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:21,902
so Nick doesn't know
I'm a liar.
88
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,971
Get a quick picture of me
by the oven.
89
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,739
Make sure you get the good side
of my butt.
90
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,008
Honey,
that's the dishwasher.
91
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,077
Who cares?
Take a picture of her butt.
92
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,580
Here you go.
93
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:33,947
Hey, Mom?
Yeah.
94
00:03:34,081 --> 00:03:35,416
Can you hand me some
Nick Harper -- Butter!
95
00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,385
Stupid.
96
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:38,786
I know your secret.
97
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,888
I don't have a crush
on him!
98
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,223
[ Whispering ] No!
I'm talking about the baby.
99
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:44,358
[ Gasps ]
Ooh. There's a baby?
100
00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:45,959
Whose baby?
101
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:48,362
Oh, no.
I spoiled the surprise.
102
00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:50,498
What? What surprise?
What are you talking about?
103
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,533
I know Celia's pregnant!
104
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,803
I am?
105
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,572
This is what you look like
pregnant?
106
00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:01,074
Another win for Jackie.
107
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,844
Why didn't you tell me
you're having a baby?
108
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,313
Because I'm not.
109
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,180
But I noticed you not drinking
any alcohol
110
00:04:07,315 --> 00:04:08,516
or caffeine.
111
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,150
Yeah.
I'm on a cleanse.
112
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:11,652
The only thing in my stomach
is lemon juice,
113
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:12,953
maple syrup, and cayenne.
114
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,588
I'm nauseous
and lightheaded,
115
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:16,023
but look how white
my eyeballs are.
116
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,627
I'm on a champagne cleanse.
117
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,564
Actually, I'm on a champagne,
muffin, and bacon cleanse.
118
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:27,134
Actually, no.
I'm just having a drunk brunch.
119
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:30,871
Honestly, you guys.
It's probably for the best.
120
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,840
You're too young to be having
kids right now anyway.
121
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,408
Oh, we're not
having kids.
122
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,843
Yet.
Never.
123
00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:37,678
Never until it's time.
124
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,813
No. Never until never.
We've talked about it.
125
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,082
The world has way too many
people, and kids tie you down.
126
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,884
One of us would have to give up
their career.
127
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,686
Just having kids changes
your whole life.
128
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,188
But having kids changes
your whole life.
129
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,490
Yeah.
That's also a good point.
130
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,894
You guys may think you know
what having kids is,
131
00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,963
but until you do it --
132
00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:57,765
the love you get...
Mm-hmm.
133
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,333
...the sense of purpose
you get.
134
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,201
What could be as fulfilling
135
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,671
as the moment
when you first become a parent?
136
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,038
[ Cellphone chimes ]
[ Gasps ]
137
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:06,540
Nick Harper just started
following me.
138
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,008
My Nick Harper?
139
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:11,111
Okay.
Maybe I do have a crush on him.
140
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,582
I need something to wear
to Vegas.
141
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,817
All my clothes
scream "Mom."
142
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,387
And some of them cry
"widow."
143
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,422
Take whatever you want.
144
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,424
Oh, what's wrong, honey?
145
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:25,459
Freddie and Celia have
everything.
146
00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:27,060
They have jobs.
They have each other.
147
00:05:27,194 --> 00:05:28,762
They even have the option
of having kids.
148
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,030
They just don't want to.
149
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,065
Oh, don't let that
upset you.
150
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:33,867
They're young.
They don't know what they want.
151
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,736
They'll change
their minds.
152
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,706
I'm not worried about them.
I'm worried about me.
153
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,408
I have nothing,
154
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,275
and none of that stuff
is ever gonna happen for me.
155
00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,177
Oh, of course it will.
156
00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:45,979
Enjoy your freedom
while you can, honey.
157
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,848
There's only a few times
in life
158
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,750
when women get to live
for themselves.
159
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:53,454
Her 20s, her 50s, and then
when all the men are dead.
160
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,457
What do you think?
161
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,125
Does that make me look like
I sleep around?
162
00:05:58,258 --> 00:05:59,427
That's why I bought it.
163
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:04,498
***
164
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,299
[ Sighs ]
Celia.
165
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,402
May I please speak to you
at your earliest?
166
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:11,939
Why are you talking to me
like I'm about to be fired?
167
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,340
What's this?
168
00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,576
Oh, my God!
Where did you get that?
169
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:16,410
From right in here.
170
00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,446
Aah!
Freddie!
171
00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,148
[ Groans ]
It's no big deal!
172
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,917
You just --
You found my baby stash.
173
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,085
It's a thing.
174
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,320
Baby stash?
That's not a thing.
175
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,322
Unless you're talking about
a super-small mustache,
176
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,324
in which case, those are
the perfect words for that.
177
00:06:31,459 --> 00:06:34,762
No, it's just sometimes
when I see cute baby stuff,
178
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,598
I buy it and I save it,
because, you know,
179
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,833
the world of baby fashion
moves fast.
180
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,637
I thought that we agreed
that we weren't having kids.
181
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:44,972
Are you squirreling
all this away
182
00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,139
'cause you actually want
a baby?
183
00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:48,008
I don't know
why I'm squirreling.
184
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,977
I-I guess you just never know,
you know?
185
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,813
I mean, it's impossible to say
how you'll feel in 10 years.
186
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,482
Okay, 10 years ago,
you were 13.
187
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,049
Did 13-year-old you know
188
00:06:56,183 --> 00:06:57,918
that you wanted a serious
live-in girlfriend?
189
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,521
Yeah. 13-year-old me saw
an underboob at a baseball game
190
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,690
and very much wanted that lady
to come live with him.
191
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,659
People change how they feel
about things with time.
192
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,127
It's normal.
193
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,597
And also,
we had the no-kids conversation
194
00:07:09,730 --> 00:07:11,699
on our fourth date,
and I really don't think
195
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,134
agreements made at Buca di Beppo
should be legally binding.
196
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,270
We said no babies.
No takebacks.
197
00:07:17,404 --> 00:07:18,906
Okay. [ Scoffs ]
You know what?
198
00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,709
I'm sorry I even thought
it was a possibility.
199
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:25,679
Clearly, we could never have
a baby, because you are a baby.
200
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,715
Okay. Well, you're the one
with the baby stash.
201
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,583
You can't even grow
a baby stash.
202
00:07:29,717 --> 00:07:31,652
Hey! You know I'm sensitive
about my facial hair.
203
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:32,953
What facial hair?
204
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:34,488
[ Gasps ]
205
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,490
[ Laughing ]
206
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:38,158
Hey, uh,
one of my clients said
207
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,060
that some women out here
called him "sugar buns"
208
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,729
and asked him to sit
on her lap.
209
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,498
[ Laughing ] No.
It was "sugar shorts."
210
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:47,501
And I asked to sit
on his lap.
211
00:07:47,635 --> 00:07:49,336
I see. Uh.
212
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,004
You look amazing
213
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,173
and slightly overdressed
for backyard day-drinking.
214
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,342
I'm not wearing a bra.
215
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,910
Ha-ho!
216
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,913
Lucky dress.
So, what's happening out here?
217
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,915
We're practicing
for our trip to Vegas.
218
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,083
Practicing?
219
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,719
Yeah, Danny.
Vegas is a marathon.
220
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:09,489
You don't just run a marathon.
You train for it.
221
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,424
Speaking of which,
I need more training.
Ooh!
222
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,727
On it.
223
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,729
May I interest you
in a Bloody Mary?
224
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:18,031
Uh, no, thanks.
It's Wednesday.
225
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,133
I have a job.
You know, responsibilities.
226
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,636
Oh, yeah.
I forgot about responsibilities.
227
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,004
'Cause I don't have any!
228
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,740
[ Laughs ]
I'm in my sweet spot!
229
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:29,643
Got to enjoy life while I can,
because it's short.
230
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,044
Yeah. I get it.
231
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,345
I'm actually feeling that
myself.
232
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:33,781
I've got a birthday
coming up,
233
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,415
so I can't say
I'm in my early 40s anymore.
234
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,651
Oh, yeah.
Me neither.
[ Chuckles ]
235
00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:40,554
High five to leaving
our early 40s for our mid-50s.
236
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,522
[ Laughs ]
Well, I'm 43.
237
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:45,058
No.
We're the same age.
238
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,894
You've got a daughter
in college!
239
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,629
Yeah.
We were pregnant when I was 25.
240
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:49,630
[ Gasps ]
241
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,965
You're really 43?
242
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:54,134
[ Whispering ]
Oh, my God.
243
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,036
I'm not in my sweet spot.
244
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:58,405
I'm old!
You're not old, Jean.
245
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,073
You're drinking Bloody Marys
on a Wednesday.
246
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,843
Yeah.
And they gave me acid reflux.
247
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:05,078
You are young.
You are beautiful.
248
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:06,714
And you are definitely
in your sweet spot.
249
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,315
[ Sighs ]
250
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:09,850
Oh. Oh, good.
You're here.
251
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,452
Guess what. I've decided
I'm gonna have a baby.
252
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:15,088
You're gonna be a grandma!
[ Laughs ]
253
00:09:19,627 --> 00:09:21,995
I need to talk to my daughter
about her baby,
254
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:23,597
but we're gonna continue
this conversation.
255
00:09:23,731 --> 00:09:27,567
43!
How could you do this to me?
256
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,603
Sharon!
257
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,005
I thought you were coming inside
for refills!
258
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,241
[ Gasps ]
I was.
259
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:38,045
I guess I'm not used to
midweek day-drinking.
260
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:41,214
I just needed
a little disco nap.
261
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:45,986
Um...I'm gonna go close my eyes
for a few more minutes.
262
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,821
Don't let me sleep
till tomorrow.
263
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:51,191
Sharon, how old do you think
Danny is?
264
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:54,061
I don't know.
43?
265
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,696
Go to bed.
You're drunk.
266
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,100
[ Sighs ]
Okay.
267
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,636
Let's get back
to you having a baby.
268
00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,071
Everything you said
at brunch
269
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,706
about what having kids
brings you
270
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,040
is what I feel
like I'm missing.
271
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,710
I need a baby.
Oh, honey.
272
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:13,113
I know you're gonna make
an amazing mother someday.
273
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,848
But once you are
a mother,
274
00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:17,250
you won't be in your sweet spot
anymore.
275
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,853
You'll have huge
responsibilities.
276
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,621
Don't you want to enjoy
this time?
277
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,556
But I'm not enjoying
this time.
278
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:27,094
Well, how are you gonna do it?
You don't even have a boyfriend.
279
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,129
I mean,
you never even leave the house
280
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,064
unless it's to come
to my house.
281
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,734
It's 2021, Mom.
Men are optional.
282
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,068
And I have a plan.
283
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,870
I already know
the perfect donor.
284
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:40,040
Brilliant, funny, handsome --
Nick Harper.
285
00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:41,108
It was fate
that we ran into each other
286
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:42,943
after all these years,
287
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,312
because I need his brilliant,
funny, handsome sperm.
288
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,347
What are you gonna do,
trick him?
289
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,683
Because that'll backfire.
Ask your Aunt Kim.
290
00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:51,952
Better yet,
ask your cousin Misty.
291
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:54,654
No.
I'm gonna ask him.
292
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,724
Besides, it's really not
a big deal.
293
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,759
I'm taking charge
of my life.
294
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:02,029
I feel good for the first time
in a really long time.
295
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,563
I have a goal.
296
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,532
I have a purpose.
I have a reason --
297
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,934
Sharon:
I have a headache!
298
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,201
Keep it down!
299
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:13,640
***
300
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,575
[ Sighs ]
301
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,381
[ Sighs ]
302
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,482
Okay.
303
00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:23,851
Well,
if we're not gonna talk,
304
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:26,086
I'm just gonna play
the new "Outriders."
305
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,156
Ugh.
306
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,191
Okay.
307
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,796
Hey!
That was the last coconut one!
308
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,465
Five-second rule.
309
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,201
Monster.
310
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,270
***
311
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,172
[ Keys jingling ]
312
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,811
How'd everything go
with Jackie?
313
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,180
I don't know.
314
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:56,116
I'm not sure how I feel
about her having a baby,
315
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,418
but this is the first thing
Jackie's been excited about
316
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,353
for a while,
and I want to support her.
317
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,455
And who am I kidding?
318
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,457
I'm certainly old enough
to be a grandma.
319
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,493
You're not still thinking about
the age thing between us,
320
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:07,961
are you?
It doesn't freak you out?
321
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,797
Caterpillars freak me out.
322
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,932
Confident squirrels
freak me out.
323
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,801
The effects
of socioeconomic status
324
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,536
on the availability of mental
healthcare freaks me out.
325
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:19,606
But our age difference
definitely doesn't freak me out.
326
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,474
But then, I've known about it
all along.
327
00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:22,709
You have?
328
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,612
Is it my elbows?
My neck?
329
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,981
The way I hold the newspaper
when I read it?
330
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,817
The fact that I read
the newspaper?
331
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,119
Jean, you gave me a copy
of your driver's license
332
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,822
when you rented
the guesthouse.
Oh.
333
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,623
Oh, come on, Danny.
334
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,026
On some level, it must bother
you that I'm so much older.
335
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,994
It doesn't bother me at all.
And why should it?
336
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:43,196
You're hot, and looks are the
only thing that matter, right?
337
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,032
You joke,
338
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:48,335
but I was married with children
before you were even born.
339
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,003
Jean,
you are good at so many things,
340
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:51,204
but math
is not one of them.
341
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,573
I'm trying not to care,
342
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,543
but so much has changed
in a day.
343
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:58,846
Jean, nothing has changed
except your blood alcohol level.
344
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:01,882
Hey, Mom. Can I stay with you?
Celia's really mad at me.
345
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,251
Oh, of course, sweetie.
346
00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:05,552
Ooh.
347
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,487
Why are you dressed
like Aunt Kim
348
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,389
when she brings cookies
to the fire station?
349
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:16,563
[ Exhales deeply ]
350
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,031
I hope this doesn't cramp
your style, Mom.
351
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,199
Just crashing here
for a few days.
352
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:20,633
Celia's really mad at me.
353
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:21,902
I thought it was best
to give her her space.
354
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,470
We got into it
355
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,238
because she changed her mind
about having a baby.
356
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:28,175
Now I talked two people
into having a baby?
357
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,742
I should give a TED Talk.
358
00:13:29,877 --> 00:13:33,013
Okay. Well,
we're not having a baby, so...
359
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,547
We'll discuss.
360
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,516
Let me just get out
of this silly dress.
361
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,418
Oh, you wouldn't believe
how much sequins itch
362
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:39,853
when you're not wearing
a bra.
363
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,688
Ugh. Mom.
Calm down.
364
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,324
I'm wearing underpants.
Wait. No.
365
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:46,159
Mom!
366
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:47,427
Hey, Mom.
367
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:48,761
What are you doing here?
368
00:13:48,896 --> 00:13:51,264
No way.
[ Chuckles ]
369
00:13:51,398 --> 00:13:54,334
Nick Harper,
in my mom's house.
370
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,069
Hey, man.
Good to see you again.
371
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:57,404
Really?
You mean that?
372
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:00,273
I feel the same way, man.
373
00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:05,245
Okay.
Um, Mom, this is Nick.
374
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,414
Oh, Nick.
Yeah. As in Nick.
375
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:08,781
Nick.
Mm.
376
00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,450
I was worried
I would forget my name,
377
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,052
but you guys saved
the day.
378
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,820
Nice to see you again,
Mrs. Raines.
Mm.
379
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,622
It's been too long.
Oh.
380
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,390
Um, can I grab you
for a minute?
Oh.
381
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,659
Hang here with Freddie.
Don't be weird.
382
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,428
I'm not gonna be weird.
You're the weird.
383
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,263
[ Chuckles ]
384
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,734
Thought they'd never leave.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Chuckles ]
385
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:31,604
My mom's not wearing
underwear.
386
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:32,872
Okay.
387
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:34,774
Stupid.
388
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,844
So, he looks great,
right?
389
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:39,779
And all his grandparents
are still alive,
390
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,148
and they have
low cholesterol.
391
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:42,682
One aunt did die young,
392
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,851
but fortunately,
she was hit by a train.
393
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:48,488
Well, he is very handsome,
and he has a nice, long neck.
394
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,657
Your father's side of the family
has very short necks.
395
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,625
It'd be good to breed that out
of the line.
396
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,127
So are you in?
397
00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:57,130
I don't know.
I mean, is he in?
398
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:59,599
Right. Well, I haven't exactly
asked him yet.
399
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,401
We mostly talked about
dead relatives.
400
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,436
Ah.
401
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,638
Oh. Hey.
402
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:10,410
I think I overdid it
in practice, so new plan --
403
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:13,080
I'm gonna go to sleep
till tomorrow.
404
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:17,350
[ Sighs ]
405
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:18,818
Can I ask you
a question?
406
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:20,420
Am I gonna be able
to stop you?
407
00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:24,024
[ Laughs ]
Classic Nick.
408
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:27,127
So, I heard that you followed
Jackie back right away,
409
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,861
but you still haven't
followed me.
410
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,364
Are we okay?
411
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,433
Yeah, man.
I'll follow you.
412
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,969
Great.
Now?
413
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,039
[ Exhales deeply ]
414
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,974
What's your first name
again?
415
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,010
I just know you
as Jackie's brother.
[ Door opens ]
416
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,811
You're trying to make me
jealous, aren't you, Nick?
417
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,347
Oh, God.
What are you doing?
418
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,648
W-What are you doing here?
419
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,450
I came to bring you home.
420
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,219
Does this mean
that you're not mad?
421
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:55,588
Oh, I'm really mad.
Like yell-at-you-in-Spanish mad.
422
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,124
I'm mad
because of our fight,
423
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,692
I'm mad because you ran
to your mother,
424
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,995
and I'm mad at whatever
you're doing to this poor man.
425
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,563
I'm Nick.
We met at the liquor store.
426
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,498
Yeah.
We all know who you are, Nick.
427
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,767
Then why do you want me
to come home?
428
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,170
Freddie, we're gonna have
a lot of fights.
429
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,539
You can't just run away.
That's not how this works.
430
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:13,873
How does it work?
431
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,908
You stay in it.
You work it out.
432
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,910
You know that eventually
everything's gonna be okay
433
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:20,247
because we're in this
forever.
434
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:21,681
Aww.
435
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,616
Unh. We're fighting.
¿Qué te pasa?
436
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:28,055
Women, right?
[ Chuckles ]
437
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,190
I'm sorry.
438
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,460
[ Door closes ]
439
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,262
Oh.
What happened to Freddie?
440
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,729
Celia came and got him.
441
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:39,366
I hope he wasn't
too weird.
He was.
442
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,202
Um, hey, Nick,
why don't you sit down?
443
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,304
There's something
I want to talk to you about.
444
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,406
Oh.
It's happening now?
445
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:47,907
I don't think
you should just come out
446
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:49,242
and ask somebody
something like this.
447
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:50,543
Something like what?
448
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:52,745
Nick, I have a proposition
for you.
449
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,647
I definitely don't think you
should do this in front of me.
450
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:56,416
What's she doing?
Okay. Settle down.
451
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,118
It's not like I'm asking him
to marry me.
452
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:00,587
Jackie!
I have to stop you.
453
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,522
I want to support you,
but I think you're doing this
454
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,391
for the wrong reasons.
Doing what?
455
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,593
I'm looking for purpose
in my life.
456
00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,095
If I do it this way,
I have complete control
457
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:09,796
and I can't get hurt
again.
Oh, honey.
458
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,131
You think a kid's
not gonna hurt you?
459
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,166
Hi! Sorry.
460
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,302
I'm really trying to ride
this wave,
461
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,936
but from what I gather,
462
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,772
I'm either about to get seduced
or murdered.
463
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,411
Nick, c-could you wait outside
for a bit?
464
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,347
Damn.
Sounds like murder.
465
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:35,588
Honey.
Your plan isn't gonna work.
466
00:17:36,623 --> 00:17:39,226
You can't stop living your life
just because you got hurt.
467
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:44,164
You know, after your dad died,
I was devastated.
468
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:47,634
I stopped living my life, and I
poured everything into you kids.
469
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,437
I know that you've been hurt
by Andy,
470
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,972
but I don't want you
to shut it all down, too.
471
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,907
But I'm not shutting it down.
I'm having a baby.
472
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:58,111
But having a baby
does shut it down.
473
00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:01,981
It's wonderful
because it starts a new life,
474
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:04,484
but you haven't even begun
to live the one you have now.
475
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,922
How about instead of asking
for Nick's...
476
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:14,527
seed...
you ask him on a date?
477
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:16,062
Because if I ask him
on a date,
478
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,231
he could leave me
in three years, take my car,
479
00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:19,732
and I'll be right where I am
now.
480
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:21,301
Or not.
481
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,370
Or you stay together.
482
00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:26,206
Or you go on two dates and hate
the way he chews his popcorn.
483
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:28,141
Or you love the way
he chews his popcorn,
484
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,376
and he still leaves you.
485
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,411
Is this supposed to
boost me up?
486
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:35,148
My point is,
you can't stop it.
487
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,949
You can't control it.
488
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,351
You just have to live
your life.
489
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,520
Yeah, but what if --
490
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:43,456
Yes. Exactly, honey.
491
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,192
What if?
492
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:49,229
***
493
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,763
You're still here.
494
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,166
Yeah.
I wasn't really sure what to do.
495
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,235
I mean, I'm getting
a lot of mixed signals --
496
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,870
and a very clear signal
from your brother.
497
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:00,006
Do you want to go out
with me?
498
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,674
Yes.
499
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,410
But I thought we were already
on a date.
500
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,245
Is this not what this was?
501
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,480
Oh. Yeah.
Yes.
502
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,217
Of course.
You're very cute.
503
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,985
You know, I always had a crush
on you in high school.
504
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,687
I did not know that.
[ Chuckles ]
505
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,456
You want to tell me
what was going on in there?
506
00:19:16,589 --> 00:19:18,858
Let's just stick with you having
a crush on me in high school.
507
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:19,859
Yeah.
Okay.
508
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,166
Hi.
Just wanted to see you off.
509
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,101
And, uh, thought maybe you could
put $20 on black for me.
510
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:30,603
You know,
if you're feeling lucky.
511
00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,572
Oh. Pretty lucky.
Just made 20 bucks.
512
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:33,973
[ Snaps fingers ]
Damn.
513
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:35,275
Uh, Danny, wait.
514
00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,076
That's all the cash I have,
Jean.
515
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:40,347
I-I've been doing the math
on us.
516
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,515
And you turn 44
in a couple of weeks,
517
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,918
and I have almost an entire year
before my next birthday,
518
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:49,989
so if you really think about it,
i-it's not that huge a gap.
519
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,824
It's still basically
an entire decade.
520
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,560
You have to really think
about it.
521
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,094
Oh, yes. I mean, yes.
Sorry. You're rationalizing.
522
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,763
I didn't realize that.
Now I do. Continue.
523
00:19:56,896 --> 00:20:00,199
Yeah. Well, we'll chalk it up
to your youthful naiveté.
524
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:03,336
Okay. Well, I'll follow
your lead, since you're so...
525
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:06,005
No, there's no sexy end
to that sentence.
526
00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:07,474
I-I'm sorry I freaked.
Oh.
527
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,576
I-I can handle it.
528
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,578
I think it'll be
kind of neat.
529
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:14,447
I haven't kissed a guy in
his 40s since I was in my 20s.
530
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,549
Okay.
Well, have fun.
531
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,117
Uh, not too much fun.
532
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:19,752
I guess by that,
I just mean act your age.
533
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,254
Or at least act my age.
534
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:24,357
[ Australian accent ]
Danny! Danny!
535
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,426
We lost our keys, mate!
536
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:27,960
[ Laughs ]
537
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:30,397
Oh, my God.
Are you drunk?
538
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:33,165
You smelled that, huh?
Yeah, she is.
539
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:34,867
No!
I'm pretty.
540
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,005
She's been super confident
541
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:41,408
since some guy on the Strip
thought she was prostitute.
542
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:44,677
He told me I should be
on a flier.
543
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,078
Has she been like this
all weekend?
544
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:47,980
No, no.
She started out like her.
545
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:50,049
She dragged us
to the Neon Museum
546
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:52,352
and the Car Museum
and the Wax Museum --
547
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:54,186
I met Barry Manilow.
548
00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:56,989
He's so quiet,
and he smells like a candle.
549
00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:59,125
Oh.
550
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,461
Then I got her to drink
a yard of margaritas,
551
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,430
and, well, here we are.
552
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:06,032
She's this,
553
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,668
and I've been playing
panty police all weekend.
554
00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:10,703
She even got us thrown out
of M&M World.
555
00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:12,104
Are those things related?
556
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:16,008
I asked the yellow one
to show me his nuts.
557
00:21:16,142 --> 00:21:18,545
That was a security guard,
Jean.
558
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:20,847
Ah.
My sweet spot!
559
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:24,551
Oh, wait.
This isn't my house!
560
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:25,752
Yes, it is.
40986
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