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[screeches]
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00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:06,658
ADULT SHELDON:
A fossil is formed
3
00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:08,617
when an organism,
preserved in sediment,
4
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:10,053
undergoes physical compression
5
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,750
over millions of years.[thunder crashes]
6
00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:14,449
Less than one
ten-thousandth percent
7
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:15,841
of living organisms
will become fossils.
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00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:18,235
Isn't it amazing
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00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:21,456
that something so fragile
can defy those odds,
10
00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:23,501
only to have this
happen to it...
11
00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:27,027
I don't think
you did that right.
12
00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:29,290
[school bell rings]GIVENS: All right, everyone,
13
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,770
we'll pick it up here tomorrow.
I-If we're lucky,
14
00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:34,599
we may find a fossil as old
as lunch lady Phyllis.
15
00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:38,864
You people don't know
what's funny.
16
00:00:38,908 --> 00:00:41,041
TOMMY:
Cooper!
17
00:00:41,084 --> 00:00:45,436
Will you put these away for me?
18
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,308
Sure.
19
00:00:47,351 --> 00:00:49,310
You better watch yourself.
20
00:00:49,353 --> 00:00:51,399
I will,
I-I really will.
21
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:53,357
'Cause you know what's
gonna happen if you don't.
22
00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:00,495
Who was that?
23
00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:01,800
No one.
24
00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,672
Why did he push you?
25
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:05,108
None of your business.
26
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:07,067
But that was
a clear violation
27
00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,633
of the student
code of conduct.
28
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,026
We need to tell on him.
29
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,507
We're not telling on anyone,
stay out of it.
30
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:13,812
But the student code
of conduct...
31
00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:16,163
Drop it.
32
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,904
ADULT SHELDON:
So I did drop it...
33
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:20,689
[sighs]
34
00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:22,125
ADULT SHELDON:
...for six whole minutes.
35
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,692
Excuse me, sir.
36
00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,824
When you're done urinating,
I'd like to ask you
37
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:29,306
some questions about
social dynamics, intimidation,
38
00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:31,134
threats, et cetera.
39
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,617
Finish up, no hurry.
40
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:38,533
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
41
00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:41,362
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
42
00:01:41,405 --> 00:01:44,016
♪ I bet I could be your hero
43
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:46,367
♪ I am a mighty little man
44
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:50,545
♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
45
00:01:50,588 --> 00:01:52,938
[urinal flushes]
46
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,246
What is your problem?
47
00:01:56,290 --> 00:01:57,813
Oh, I don't have
a problem.
48
00:01:57,856 --> 00:02:00,163
You should probably
wash your hands.
49
00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:04,167
I just witnessed
an altercation
50
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:05,908
between you and Georgie Cooper.
51
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,388
Altercation?
52
00:02:07,431 --> 00:02:10,217
A confrontation,
a tussle. Anyway,
53
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:12,088
I'd just like to gather
more information
54
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,003
for sociological purposes.
55
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:17,920
Oh, I heard about you,
you're that smart kid.
56
00:02:17,963 --> 00:02:21,402
I'd like to be humble in this
moment, but yes, that's me.
57
00:02:21,445 --> 00:02:23,230
Sheldon Cooper, at your service.
58
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:27,016
So Georgie's your brother?Correct.
59
00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:29,192
And you're trying
to protect him?
60
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:33,196
Incorrect. I'm just curious
what he did to incur your wrath.
61
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,111
Also, kudos on the hand washing.
62
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,244
Your brother's a punk.
63
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:39,855
I'm not familiar
with that terminology.
64
00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:42,118
He tried to hit on
my girlfriend.
65
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:45,643
Interesting. So he openly
pursued your mate,
66
00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:47,123
and to re-assert dominance,
67
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,212
you threatened him
with physical violence.
68
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,040
Hell yeah, I did.
69
00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:52,650
I understand that.
70
00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:55,653
I often intimidate people
with my intelligence.
71
00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:03,270
Well, one of us scared him.
72
00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:07,361
[camera shutter clicking]MARCUS: All right.
73
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:10,668
Next. Missy Cooper.
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00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:15,456
Just a heads-up,
this is my good side.
75
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:17,849
Okay...
76
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,635
Do your parents know
you're wearing that makeup?
77
00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,376
Oh, yeah, my mom knows.
78
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:26,293
You sure? Because typically
it's not allowed.
79
00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:28,643
If you don't believe me,
you can ask her.
80
00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:31,950
Okay, we're gonna
give her a call.
81
00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:35,780
Really?
82
00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:38,783
Good news, I just spoke
to Tommy Clarkson.
83
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,655
What? Are you crazy?
84
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,265
Nope, Mom had me tested.
85
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,441
And Tommy's actually nicer
than you think.
86
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:46,138
I told you to stay out of it.
87
00:03:46,182 --> 00:03:47,792
True, but what you
didn't tell me
88
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:50,099
was that you were overly chummy
with his girlfriend,
89
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:51,970
which is why he wants
to kick your bottom.
90
00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:54,234
I'm about to kick your bottom.
91
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:58,586
I don't think so.
92
00:03:58,629 --> 00:03:59,848
H-Hey, Tommy.
93
00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,937
How you doing?
94
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:06,028
You got a problem with him,
you got a problem with me.
95
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:08,073
And just to make
his logic clear,
96
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,814
you do have a problem with me.
97
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:11,642
Don't listen to my brother,
I don't have
98
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:12,817
a problem with anybody.
99
00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:14,950
You need to apologize.
100
00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:16,473
I-I'm very sorry.
101
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:17,953
To him.
102
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:19,563
I'm very sorry, Sheldon.
103
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,481
Later, kid.
104
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:27,876
See? He's nice.
105
00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,542
What were you even thinking?
106
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,892
I was thinking
I look hot.
107
00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:46,068
You know you're not allowed
to wear makeup.
108
00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:47,765
That's why I didn't tell you.
109
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:50,377
And who gave it to you?
Heather B.? Heather M.?
110
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:51,943
Meemaw.
111
00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:54,511
So your grandmother was okay
with you looking like this
112
00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:55,686
in your school pictures?
113
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,688
If you don't believe me,
ask her.
114
00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,864
Oh, I'm going to.
115
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:02,737
Really?
116
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,260
CURT CHAPLIN:
These are the plaintiffs,
117
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,914
Valerie and Anthony Sines.
118
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:08,133
Valerie claims she was
sitting on the front steps
119
00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:10,484
of her condo
with her cat Scampi,
120
00:05:10,527 --> 00:05:13,704
and that's when his dog went
after Scampi, injuring her.
121
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:16,490
What are you watching?
Go away.
122
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:18,318
Are you angry with me?
123
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:20,145
I don't want to see
your face right now.
124
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:23,888
Very well, but I'd like
to watch Professor Proton.
125
00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:25,890
Did you hear me? Go away.
126
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:27,849
Well, did you hear me?
127
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,764
I'd like to watch
Professor Proton.
128
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:32,767
Too bad.
Interesting.
129
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:34,943
I wonder how my new friend
Tommy Clarkson
130
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:36,292
would feel about this.
131
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,946
Well, he's not here, is he?
132
00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:40,514
No, he's not.
133
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:43,168
I guess I'll just
have to call him.
134
00:05:43,212 --> 00:05:44,779
You're kidding.
135
00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,694
CHAPLIN:
...the case of
136
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:48,391
a taste of Scampi
137
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:50,045
after these messages.
138
00:05:50,088 --> 00:05:52,613
Are you going to put on
Professor Proton?
139
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:53,744
No.
140
00:05:53,788 --> 00:05:55,659
Hmm.
141
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:06,453
Okay, okay.
142
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:10,282
Thank you.
143
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:15,113
I didn't hear
a "you're welcome."
144
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,463
GEORGE JR.:
Shut up!
145
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:17,725
[door slams]We'll work on that.
146
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:20,162
PROFESSOR PROTON:
It's time for science!
147
00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,338
[door closes]
Hello.
148
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,123
Well, don't you
look like Madonna?
149
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:26,429
Thank you.
150
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,126
I was actually trying
to look like you.
151
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:29,911
Thank you.
152
00:06:29,954 --> 00:06:32,479
Why would you give her makeup
without talking to me first?
153
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,089
I didn't give her any makeup.
154
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:36,657
Well, then, one of you is lying.
155
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:37,658
MEEMAW and MISSY:
She is.
156
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,486
Time to come clean little lady.
157
00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:41,139
I ain't taking the hit
on this one.
158
00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:44,752
I took the makeup
from Meemaw's bag.
159
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:47,798
Oh, Missy, you are
in a world of trouble.
160
00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:50,192
Calm down,
it's not that big a deal.
161
00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:51,541
It is so a big deal!
162
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:54,109
She stole from you,
and then she lied about it.
163
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,590
I know, but come on,
she's only ten.
164
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,593
She's gonna do way stupider
stuff when she's older.
165
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:00,768
Guaranteed.
166
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:02,073
I don't care.
167
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,424
She is my daughter
and you will be punished.
168
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,905
Sorry, kid.
169
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:10,386
I wish I was your daughter.
170
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,911
Is that so?
171
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,610
Well, guess what?
172
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:18,133
You're sleeping here tonight
173
00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:20,440
because I don't feel like
being around either one of you.
174
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:23,747
Great!
175
00:07:23,791 --> 00:07:26,968
[door slams shut]Yeah, great.
176
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:35,759
Georgie, be a lamb
and get me a Yoo-hoo.
177
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,239
Get your own.
178
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:40,242
Hmm. Are you sure
you want to speak to me
179
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:41,765
in that tone of voice?
180
00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:44,594
Sheldon, I'm getting
real tired of this.
181
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:47,162
That's too bad.
I'm enjoying it quite a bit.
182
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,121
Still waiting on that Yoo-hoo.
183
00:07:50,165 --> 00:07:51,558
You think you're so tough now,
184
00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:53,211
I swear, one day I'm...GEORGE SR.: Hey.
185
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:54,386
What's going on?
186
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:55,779
Sheldon's being a jerk.
187
00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,128
That true?
188
00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:59,522
All I did was ask for a Yoo-hoo.
189
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:01,002
He's leaving out
the part where he...
190
00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:02,525
[clears throat]
191
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:05,615
[sighs] Forget it.
192
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:08,139
Great. Done.
193
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:09,619
SHELDON:
Georgie,
194
00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:13,188
at the risk
of repeating myself...
195
00:08:13,231 --> 00:08:15,582
[sighs]
196
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:18,541
And one from the back,
so it's cold.
197
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:29,683
So when, exactly,
did you swipe my makeup?
198
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:30,945
While you were
at bowling league.
199
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,903
You don't have a key
to this house.
200
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:33,904
How'd you get in?
201
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:34,992
Can't tell you that.
202
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,298
I might need to do it again.
203
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,779
Unbelievable.
204
00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:41,956
And for future reference,
go lighter on the blush,
205
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:44,132
or you'll end up looking
like Raggedy Ann.
206
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:47,396
She got Raggedy Andy
looking like that.
207
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:50,225
He's her brother.
Oh.
208
00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:52,706
I've been playing
with those dolls all wrong.
209
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:54,925
All right, that'll do it.
210
00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:59,016
How old was Mom when
you let her wear makeup?
211
00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:02,106
I don't know, I didn't really
have rules like that.
212
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:05,588
See? How come you're so cool
and she's such a dud?
213
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,416
Well, I wouldn't call her a dud.
214
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:08,678
What would you call her?
215
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:11,420
Point is, she wasn't
always like that.
216
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:12,682
What was she like?
217
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:17,034
When she was a teenager,
she was just wild.
218
00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,036
Really?[laughing]: Oh, yeah.
219
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,908
She used to wait
until I went to sleep
220
00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,344
and then she would sneak out
221
00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,041
and get into trouble
with her friends.
222
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,739
My mom?
Your mom.
223
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:28,916
And then she would
climb up the tree
224
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:31,309
on the side of the house
and sneak back in.
225
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:33,224
Amazing.
226
00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:35,313
Is that how you're getting in?
227
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:37,664
I will never tell you that.
228
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:39,709
[laughing]
229
00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:49,284
Everything okay?
230
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:53,244
I'm getting tired of being
the bad guy around here.
231
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:54,898
You're not the bad guy.
232
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,596
[stammers]
Kids need boundaries.
233
00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:57,858
That is easy
234
00:09:57,901 --> 00:10:00,077
for you to say.
I am the only one doing it,
235
00:10:00,121 --> 00:10:02,079
and then everyone
resents me for it.
236
00:10:02,123 --> 00:10:03,777
Hey, you're not the only one.
237
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,648
Just today, Georgie and Sheldon
were fighting,
238
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,650
and I totally took care of it.
239
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,652
Really? What was going on?
240
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:12,873
They... you know, boy stuff.
241
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,135
I...
242
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:17,094
Don't worry. I got your back.
243
00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:20,576
Thank you. That means a lot.
244
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,622
Teamwork, babe.
245
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:27,714
Look, right...
246
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,890
here.
247
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:32,153
That's my mom?[chuckles]
248
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:36,157
Yep, the little queen
of darkness.
249
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,899
Is she smoking
a cigarette?
250
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:42,293
Yep. Probably stole it from me.
251
00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:44,295
When did she stop being cool?
252
00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:46,994
Well, first of all,
smoking is not cool.
253
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,996
You do it.Yeah, well, next time
254
00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:51,128
I'm hocking up some black goo
out of my lung,
255
00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:53,478
I'll call you over
and you can see how cool it is.
256
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:56,090
Awesome.It is not awesome.
257
00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:58,396
And as far as your mom,
I think things started
258
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,530
to turn around for her
when she gave birth to you.
259
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:03,358
You mean me and Sheldon.
260
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,142
No, I mean you.
261
00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:08,580
I mean, Sheldon was born fine,
but you were a different story.
262
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:09,886
Why?
263
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,888
Okay.
264
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:16,806
Well, there was a point
where the doctors didn't know
265
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,547
if you were gonna make it.
266
00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:21,724
And your mom got so scared,
and she made a promise to God
267
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:26,207
that if you were okay,
that she would start reading
268
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:29,297
the Bible, going to church...
269
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,734
you know, that kind of stuff.
270
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,867
So I'm the reason she's a dud?
271
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,782
Your takeaway should be
272
00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:39,742
that you are the reason she's
such a good mom, which she is.
273
00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:41,265
And the next time
you hurt her feelings--
274
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,267
which you will--
275
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:47,445
you might remember
how much you mean to her.
276
00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:51,711
Now I feel bad.
277
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,716
Good.
278
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,242
ADULT SHELDON:
News of my friendship with Tommy
279
00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:03,026
had apparently spread.
280
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:05,768
So much so,
the student body was finally
281
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:09,337
treating me
with the respect I deserved,
282
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,382
even when Tommy wasn't around.
283
00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:17,084
This must be
how Carl Sagan felt,
284
00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:19,260
walking through
the halls of PBS.
285
00:12:27,485 --> 00:12:29,226
ADULT SHELDON: Like Superman in a phone booth,
286
00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:32,273
I was no stranger to undressing
in my gym locker.
287
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:34,014
But not today.
288
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:37,060
Thanks to Tommy,
I was invincible.
289
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:38,279
[whistle blows]
290
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:40,411
All right, get your butts
out to the gym.
291
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:42,849
Wind sprints in one minute.
292
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:45,765
[whistle blows]
293
00:12:48,593 --> 00:12:50,334
Come on, Jason,
I'm gonna be late.
294
00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:51,553
Poor baby.
295
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,555
[Jason chuckles]
296
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,298
Excuse me.
297
00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:58,821
I'd like to ask you
some questions
298
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:02,085
about your use of intimidation
to dominate others.
299
00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,962
Are you trying
to get your ass kicked?
300
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:12,835
No, I was just looking to open
a spirited dialogue.
301
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,663
And you might want to unhand me.
302
00:13:14,706 --> 00:13:16,839
I'm friends with Tommy Clarkson.
303
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,014
Is that so?
304
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,450
Yes.
305
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,279
Hello, Tommy.
306
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:24,020
I have some unfortunate news.
307
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,717
What's that?I boasted
308
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:27,502
to Jason Davies
that you're my friend,
309
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:29,330
and things took
an unexpected turn.
310
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:30,853
You're scheduled to
fight him at 3:00 p.m.
311
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,724
on the basketball court.
312
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,163
I don't want
to fight Jason Davies.
313
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:39,035
I don't think you have a choice.
He was pretty adamant.
314
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,517
Fine, I'll deal with it.
315
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,128
You do have the option
of simply not showing up.
316
00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:47,391
That's not
how fights work, Sheldon.
317
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:50,177
Why? Do they take attendance?
318
00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:53,223
[clock ticking]
319
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:01,928
What on Earth did you say
to Missy?
320
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,408
Why? What'd she do now?Nothing,
321
00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:05,757
she was an angel.
322
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,063
I dropped her off at school,
323
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:09,761
and she hugged me
in front of her friends.
324
00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,502
Really?And not just
any friends.
325
00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:15,245
Heather M. was there,
and that is a big deal.
326
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:17,552
I just gave her
a little life advice.
327
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:18,945
Like what?
328
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:21,904
Nothing, just grandma stuff.
329
00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:26,691
There you go again,
being the good guy.
330
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:29,520
Mary, you need to know
331
00:14:29,564 --> 00:14:32,741
you're doing a fantastic job
with those kids.
332
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:35,135
You really mean that?
333
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:37,920
I really do.Thanks.
334
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:42,533
I can't remember the last time
someone said I was a good mom.
335
00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:47,364
It's not a job that gets
a lot of compliments.
336
00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:55,068
TAM: Look at this, my
mother left me a note.
337
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:58,941
"You can do better. Mom."
338
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:01,683
Not "Love, Mom,"
not "XO, Mom,"
339
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,337
just "Mom."
340
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,686
ADULT SHELDON:
While Tam prattled on
341
00:15:04,729 --> 00:15:06,079
about some family nonsense,
342
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,776
I couldn't help
but think about Tommy.
343
00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:11,780
At 3:00 pm, he was going to
engage in a schoolyard battle
344
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,869
that was entirely my fault.
345
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,176
I had to find a way
to intervene, but how?
346
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:18,352
TAM:
Ooh, a Nutter Butter.
347
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,093
Maybe she does love me.
348
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:21,877
[school bell rings]
349
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:25,837
[crowd cheering]BOY: Face-punching time!
350
00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:27,056
Jason, let's do it!
351
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,015
[chanting]:
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
352
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,668
Fight! Fight!
353
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:32,627
[Jason growls]
354
00:15:32,670 --> 00:15:34,107
Come on, Jason. Kick his ass.
355
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,637
ADULT SHELDON:
I didn't have the physical stature to assist
356
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,161
Tommy in a brawl,
but I did have something
357
00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:47,337
far more lethal:
358
00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:50,036
my once in a generation brain.
359
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:54,605
[students chanting]:
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
360
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:58,044
[chanting continues]
361
00:15:58,087 --> 00:15:59,610
[cheering]
362
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:03,963
I didn't think you'd show up.
363
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,704
Well, I did.
364
00:16:06,748 --> 00:16:08,793
Let's do this.
365
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,665
SHELDON:
Stop!
366
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:15,800
You're not fighting Tommy,
you're fighting me.
367
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:17,106
[laughter]
368
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:18,368
Oh, boy.
369
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:19,804
Unless you want to shake hands
370
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:23,286
and we all laugh about this
over a glass of milk.
371
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:25,985
I think I'd rather kick
both your asses.
372
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,030
I was afraid you'd say that.
373
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:29,727
Are you familiar with the story
374
00:16:29,771 --> 00:16:32,643
of David and Goliath
from the Bible?
375
00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:33,993
Yeah.
376
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,820
That's too bad.
377
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:37,997
I had a nice speech prepared.
378
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,825
I'll say it anyway.
379
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,350
You may have
the size advantage,
380
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:45,134
but like David and his sling,
381
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:48,355
I also possess an
air-based weapon.
382
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,055
So I'll give you
one more chance.
383
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,057
Are you willing to step down?
384
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,232
[students exclaiming]
385
00:16:56,276 --> 00:16:58,321
I'll tell you what:
386
00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:02,369
you take the first shot,
then it's my turn.
387
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,458
Very well.
388
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:06,155
[rubber creaking]
389
00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:07,417
Three...
390
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,072
...two...
391
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,642
...one.
392
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:25,566
Ow! Son of a bitch!
393
00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:27,394
[laughter, cheering]
394
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,658
[growls]
395
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,662
I'm going to run.
396
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,541
ADULT SHELDON:
Conventional wisdom tells us
397
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,891
that when one stands up
to a bully, the bully
398
00:17:46,935 --> 00:17:49,198
will inevitably back down and
respect you for your courage.
399
00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:51,331
My experience
suggests otherwise.
400
00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:54,595
SHELDON:
Hello? Hello?
401
00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,249
ADULT SHELDON:
When Jason finally caught me,
402
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:59,078
he had the good sense not
to commit assault and battery.
403
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,601
This did not, however,
prevent him
404
00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:02,733
from imprisoning me
in his locker.
405
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:05,388
Anybody?
406
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:07,303
That was a very long night.
407
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:09,566
It doesn't smell good in here.
408
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:10,785
Very long.
409
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:17,313
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410
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:23,319
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411
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:26,366
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412
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