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Previously onYoung Sheldon...
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Why was Veronica
Duncan hugging you?
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00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,050
I'm tutoring her
in trigonometry.
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00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:09,226
Just between us,
she's a little slow.
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That's not what I heard.
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There's nobody
at my house.
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00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:15,885
You want to come over?Yes.
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What's that?Some stupid haunted house
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00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:19,802
my mother's doing
for the church.
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ADULT SHELDON:
Mr. Lundy's scene about lust
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made a deep impact
on my brother's date.
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00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,504
She asked to be saved by Jesus.
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[crying]: I don't want to live
like this anymore.
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ADULT SHELDON:
And as it turns out, she was.
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Dear Lord Jesus,
set me free.
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[music playing over TV]
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ADULT SHELDON: InConquest
of the Planet of the Apes,
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00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:43,086
we learned how humans taught
the apes to become civilized.
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Which I think should start
with potty training,
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00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,394
but I'm not a screenwriter.
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Can you help me
with my math homework?
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No.
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00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:51,094
Please. It's really hard.
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"It" isn't the problem.
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Sheldon.
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Fine, what are you working on?
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00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:58,580
There's a number,
then there's a line,
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00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:00,712
then there's another number
under it.
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Fractions?
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Yes, fractions.
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ADULT SHELDON:
At that moment,
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it occurred to me if I could
teach mathematics
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to someone as dull-witted
as my sister,
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I could create
a race of superhumans
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that would do my bidding.
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And who wouldn't want that?
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Please, Sheldon.
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You know what, Missy?
I'd be happy to help you.
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Thank you.
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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
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♪ I bet I could be your hero
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♪ I am a mighty little man
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♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
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Try thinking of it this way:
imagine a pie.
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The number on the bottom
of the fraction
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is how many pieces the pie
has been sliced into.
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What kind of pie is it?
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Doesn't matter.
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But it would help me picture it
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if I knew the kind of pie.
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Fine, it's banana cream.
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I don't like banana cream.
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00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:03,949
Okay, what kind of pie
would you like it to be?
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00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:06,822
What about those little
apple pies from McDonalds?
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Sure.I burned my mouth
on one of those.
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Didn't stop me. I still ate it.
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[doorbell rings, door opens]
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Veronica. Hi.
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Hey, Georgie.
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You-you changed your hair.
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I did.
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It's shorter.
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It is.
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I like it.
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Thank-thanks.
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You here to see me?
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I-I'm here for your mom's
Bible study.
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Oh, sure, of course.
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I'm glad you could join us.
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Come in, won't you?
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[chuckles]
You're part of the group, too?
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Faith, the Bible, God,
I'm nuts for that stuff.
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[laughs softly]
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So one-fourth
of the 12 pieces of pie is...?
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00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:01,311
Three?
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00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:03,183
Yes.
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00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:06,708
And one-third
of the 12 pieces is...?
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00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:08,100
Four?
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00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:10,799
Yes. Now how much is one-third
of the pie plus
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one-fourth of the pie?
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Well, three plus four is seven,
but there's 12 pieces,
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so seven-twelve-iths.
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It's twelfths. And yes.
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I did it.
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ADULT SHELDON:
Actually,I did it.
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In less than ten minutes, I taught fractions to a monkey.
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Welcome, Veronica.
We're so glad to have you.
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What are you doing?
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What's it look like?
I'm here for Bible study.
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Did you just take a shower?
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No.
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[sniffs]
You did, too.
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So I want to be clean for Jesus.
Get off my back.
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Interesting.
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00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,496
Georgie, if you want
to be a good Christian,
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maybe you should stop
lying through your teeth.
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Just be happy
I brushed them, okay?
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Hmm...
MISSY: Okay.
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All done. Thanks.
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00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:04,766
While we're here,
would you like me
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to introduce you to algebra?
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Al who?
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00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,292
Oh, boy.
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00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:11,120
It's not a person, it's
an ancient Arabic method
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00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:14,123
of finding the value
of variables.
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00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,125
Oh. Nah.
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00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:20,042
ADULT SHELDON: Clearly, I needed
a more sophisticated technique
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to motivate my simian sister.
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Are you sure?
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00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:28,137
If you learn a little algebra,
I'll give you a banana.
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00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:31,488
All right, now we're reading
from Matthew 4.
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Georgie, why don't you get
us started on verse 17?
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Me?
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Yes, you.
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Oh. Okay.
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00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:43,761
Um... Verse 17...
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[quietly]:
Verse 17...
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Give me a minute.
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Here.
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00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,902
Bless you.
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Okay, here we go.
"From that time,
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"Jesus began to preach
and say 'Repent,
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00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:03,781
"c-change your inner self,
your old way of thinking,
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00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,696
"regret past sins,
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00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:09,134
"live your life in a way
that proves repentance:
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00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:11,354
seek God's purpose
for your life."
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00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,269
Powerful stuff.
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00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:16,968
Can I get an amen?
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00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,275
ALL:
Amen.
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Amen.
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Need any help there, Sheldon?I'm looking
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for some books
on education theory.
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00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,807
What for?I'm trying
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00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,461
to develop a technique
to teach someone
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00:05:31,505 --> 00:05:34,377
who falls into the conventional
category of "stupid."
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00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:37,380
Oh. Well, now, there's a wide
range of stupid.
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00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,382
Can you narrow it down?
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00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,558
She wrote a fan letter to Alf.
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00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:46,171
Got it. So you're looking
to make a pretty radical change.
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00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:48,522
Well, ideally, I'd like to wipe
my sister's brain clean
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and start over,
but my mom wouldn't like that.
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Yeah. Moms are no fun.
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00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:11,806
Hey, Veronica.
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Georgie.So, listen,
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I was doing my prayers
last night and, uh,
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you won't believe it,
but I think God spoke to me.
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Really? What did he say?
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Well, I couldn't
understand
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all of it, 'cause it was in
an ancient language,
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but the part I did understand
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is he wants us to spend
more time together.
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Doing what?
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00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:34,829
Oh, you know, praying,
helping the needy.
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Your usual Christian activities.
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00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:39,399
Well, I'm okay with that.
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Good. So you, me and God,
we'll hang out.
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Sounds good.
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Okay. See you later.
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[chuckles]
See you.
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I may be going to hell.
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[exhales sharply]
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So you're hoping
to create an army
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of super-intelligent children
who will do your bidding?
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In a perfect world, yes.
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You should spend more time
with my mother.
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That's her goal, too.
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00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:08,297
SHELDON: Ooh, this
is interesting.
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00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:11,039
According to Socrates,
all knowledge exists
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within the student
and just needs to be drawn out
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through skillful questioning.
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Are you saying I knew that
before you even said it?
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I don't know, did you?Well, according
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to Socrates, you do know
and the answer's inside you.
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Well, then, ask me a skillful
question to draw it out.
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Do you know
if I knew before I knew?
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No.
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Hey, it works.
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It does.
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[camera beeps, whirs]
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I'm recording my findings
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so that future generations
of mankind can understand
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the steps I took to create
homo novus,"new man."
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00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:06,529
Of course, there's a strong
likelihood that my homo novi
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might've wiped out
all future generations,
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00:08:08,226 --> 00:08:10,925
so I have no idea
who's watching this.
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00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:12,666
What are you doing in here?
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00:08:12,709 --> 00:08:15,320
I'm keeping a video diary of my
experiment to create homo novus.
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Homowhat?
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Novus.It's Latin.
It means "new man."
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Oh. I guess that's okay.
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Y-Your mom's at church.
W-What do you want for dinner?
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00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:31,249
I believe you know
what I want for dinner.
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00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:32,860
Is that right?
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00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,252
It's Thursday.
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00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:37,386
What does Mom always make me
on Thursdays?
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Spaghetti and hot dogs?
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Socrates. Got to love him.
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CONGREGATION:
♪ Then sings my soul
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♪ My savior God to Thee
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00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:52,923
♪ How great Thou art
202
00:08:52,967 --> 00:08:54,272
♪ God to Thee
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00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,231
♪ How great Thou art
204
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:58,320
♪ How great
Thou art ♪
205
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:01,236
♪ How great Thou art ♪ Then sings my soul
206
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:04,065
♪ My savior God to Thee
207
00:09:04,108 --> 00:09:05,893
♪ Then sings my soul
208
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:09,853
♪ How great Thou art ♪ My savior God to Thee
209
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:13,640
♪ How great Thou art. ♪ How great Thou art.
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00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:17,861
PASTOR JEFF:
And now,
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00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:19,950
why don't we take
a moment to pray,
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00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,865
uh, keeping in mind
that our prayers
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00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:24,346
should not be
for our own benefit,
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00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,653
but for our family, friends,
215
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:31,483
fellow Texans, Americans
of all races and religions
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00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,007
and the world.
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00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,443
Well, most of the world.
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00:09:34,486 --> 00:09:36,227
Y'all know what countries
to pick.
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00:09:39,274 --> 00:09:41,624
MARY: Lord, please look
after my family.
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00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:44,627
Give them everything they need
to be happy and healthy.
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00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,064
And this lovely young girl
with me tonight,
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00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,719
help her stay on the path
of righteousness.
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00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:52,243
VERONICA: God,
please look after my sister.
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00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:54,550
You can find her at the women's correctional facility
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00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:55,507
in Lubbock.
226
00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:57,292
Help her seek salvation in you
227
00:09:57,335 --> 00:10:00,643
instead of cocaine, marijuana
and bass players.
228
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:02,950
GEORGIE: Jesus, I'm sure,
even from Heaven, you can see
229
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:04,952
how hot the girl
sitting next to me is.
230
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:07,345
And I know I'm not supposed
to pray for myself,
231
00:10:07,389 --> 00:10:09,173
but here's the deal:
if you can get her
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00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:10,958
to fall in love with me,
and you know,
233
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:12,481
make some bad decisions,
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00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:15,223
I swear I'll come to church
every Sunday.
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00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:17,529
MARY: And thank you
for bringing Georgie tonight,
236
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:20,445
even though you and I
both know why he came.
237
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:23,231
Speaking of which, whatever
he's praying for right now,
238
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,885
ignore it.
239
00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,582
VERONICA: And please protect me
from impure thoughts,
240
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:30,804
and teach me to respect
the sanctity of my body.
241
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:33,241
GEORGIE: Now if for instance she
and I were to go skinny dipping
242
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,460
and one thing
were to lead to another
243
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:37,767
under the moonlit sky,
get this:
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00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:40,074
not only do I become
a devout Christian,
245
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:42,816
I will also bug everybody
I meet to do the same.
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00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,469
And you know
I can be real annoying
247
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:45,775
when I set my mind to it.
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00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:47,124
MARY:
Amen.
249
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,387
VERONICA:
Amen.
250
00:10:49,431 --> 00:10:52,826
GEORGIE: I'm gonna take
your silence as a yes. Amen.
251
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:01,878
What are you working on?
252
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:05,447
A list of possible boyfriends
for my Cabbage Patch doll.
253
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:08,668
How do you think Celeste would
look next to Joey Lawrence?
254
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:10,800
I don't know who that is.
255
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:12,628
He's Blossom's brother.
256
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,804
I don't know who thatis.
257
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:17,720
It's a show. She wears hats.
258
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:20,636
Anyway, I've been
doing some research,
259
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,507
and I've come to the conclusion
that I don't need
260
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:23,726
to teach you anything.
261
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,554
You already know everything.
262
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:26,773
Cool.
263
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,296
Your brain already
contains all the math
264
00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:29,689
that will ever be known.
265
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:31,952
I heard you and I said "cool."
266
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:33,605
Well, wouldn't you
like to explore
267
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:36,217
that great treasure
trove of knowledge?
268
00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,437
That depends. What's a trove?
269
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:42,397
We'll circle back to that.
True or false?
270
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,269
At times, you have referred
to yourself as being dumb.
271
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,749
True.
272
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,099
And do you enjoy
feeling that way?
273
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,232
No.
274
00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,016
Well, let me change that.
275
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,626
I'm presenting you
with an opportunity
276
00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:57,629
to achieve the full potential
of your mind.
277
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:02,678
Are you gonna do some experiment
where we switch brains?
278
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:03,940
No.
279
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:05,376
'Cause I've seen it
on Gilligan's Island
280
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:06,682
and I've seen it
on The Flintstones
281
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,858
and it never goes well.
282
00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:11,687
[exhales sharply]
283
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,777
Ooh. Gilligan.
284
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:19,434
♪ Then sings my soul,
my savior God... ♪
285
00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:21,610
Oh, who do you think
you're fooling here?
286
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:24,308
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
287
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:27,311
Listen to me. Veronica has
a rough family situation,
288
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,357
and she's trying
to improve her life.
289
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,403
And I admire that.
Very inspirational.
290
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:33,796
Georgie,
291
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,016
believe me, I'm glad
to see you in a church,
292
00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:39,628
but I do not want you taking
advantage of that girl.
293
00:12:39,671 --> 00:12:43,980
Taking advantage? Veronica and I
are Bible buddies, nothing more.
294
00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:47,288
I'm serious.
Right.
295
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:49,725
Maybe you should ask yourself
what's in you
296
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,162
that makes you see sin
in the hearts of others.
297
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,469
Okay, now you're pushing it.
298
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:59,430
Lord Jesus, please help
my mother with her anger.
299
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:04,218
Can I get an amen?
No.
300
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,352
Why do we need the camera?
301
00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:11,268
So people in the future can see
your transformation.
302
00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:12,530
[camera beeps]
303
00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:13,880
Where are you going?
304
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:16,317
To put on a dress
for the future people.
305
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,493
Hello, people of the future.
306
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:21,322
My name is Missy Cooper and this
is my best friend Celeste.
307
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:24,716
[whispers]:
She's dating Joey Lawrence.
308
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:27,284
[sighs]
309
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:35,945
You want to hang out Saturday?
310
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:38,469
Can't. I signed up
to get baptized.
311
00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:41,429
Oh, yeah. I've been
meaning to do that.
312
00:13:41,472 --> 00:13:44,780
Well, why don't you join me?
We could do it together.
313
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,435
Sure. You and me, getting
double dunked. I like it.
314
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,480
Can you imagine afterwards?
315
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:52,396
All of our sins
will be washed away.
316
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,312
Yeah, and we can start
cranking out fresh ones.
317
00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:00,230
I just don't know
where I went wrong.
318
00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:01,623
Are you sure your questioning
was skillful?
319
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:05,105
I thought so, but after
two hours of interrogation,
320
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:07,107
all I could extract
from my sister's brain
321
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:10,501
was that there was some sort
of block with new kids on it.
322
00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:12,329
Sheldon, how's your
educational project going?
323
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,549
Poorly. I've hit a wall.
324
00:14:14,592 --> 00:14:17,117
Have you considered B.F.
Skinner's behavior modification?
325
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,249
What's that?It uses punishment
326
00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:21,382
and reward to get
the results you want.
327
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:24,472
Ooh, punishment.
I like the sound of that.
328
00:14:24,515 --> 00:14:28,824
[quietly]:
In the right context, so do I.
329
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,782
I took a real beating
at the craps table,
330
00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:33,829
and then I won it all back
playing Caribbean Stud Poker.
331
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,310
Well, how does
Caribbean Stud Poker work?
332
00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,616
I have no idea.
I was drunk off my ass.
333
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,009
[both laugh]MARY:
Way to go, Mom.
334
00:14:40,053 --> 00:14:42,577
Way to lead a Christian life.
335
00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:44,535
Oh, does my daughter
think poorly of me?
336
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:45,449
Yes.
337
00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:48,713
Good. I can die happy.
338
00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:52,935
Hey, Mom, just a heads-up,
I'm getting baptized tomorrow.
339
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:56,025
Good Lord.
340
00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:59,202
That boy's randiness
knows no bounds.
341
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:00,595
What are you talking about?
342
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:01,552
He's only doing it
343
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,163
'cause of that Veronica girl.
344
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,426
Oh, sure. That makes sense.
345
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:07,036
What do you mean,
it makes sense?
346
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,299
When I was his age,
I hitchhiked to Florida
347
00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,562
'cause I had a friend
that had a girlfriend
348
00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,651
who knew a girl
who might be willing.
349
00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,349
But then you met my daughter
and you didn't have
350
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:17,264
to travel so far.
[laughs]
351
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:19,440
[bottles clink]
352
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,618
SHELDON:
According to B.F. Skinner,
353
00:15:23,661 --> 00:15:25,968
if I can find the appropriate
punishment to motivate Missy,
354
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:30,146
there's no limit to what
she might be able to learn.
355
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:32,975
But what might
that punishment be?
356
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,412
Whip her with a rubber hose?
357
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:39,460
No. That sounds like a recipe
for tendonitis.
358
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:43,333
Administer small
electric shocks?
359
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:44,987
Tricky.
360
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,033
If I get the voltage wrong, I
could spend the rest of my life
361
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:50,079
in an institution
for the criminally insane.
362
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:54,692
Or I inflict harm
363
00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:58,435
on the object she loves
more than life itself.
364
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:05,921
Celeste, you're about to become
part of scientific history.
365
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,360
All right, everybody,
welcome to the 1990
366
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:11,753
East Texas Baptist Olympics.
367
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:14,277
[laughs]
368
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,671
'Cause we're in the pool
of water.
369
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:19,021
Anyway, I want to welcome
370
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:21,241
our little sister
Veronica Duncan,
371
00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:23,243
who I will be dunkin'.
[chuckles]
372
00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:24,809
Sorry.
373
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:27,421
I can't turn it off.
And I also want to welcome
374
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,597
George Cooper,
who has recently found
375
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:31,164
his way to the Lord.
376
00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:33,644
Howdy. Praise Jesus.
377
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:35,037
[sighs]
378
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,387
Are you ready to learn
some advanced calculus?
379
00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:38,867
Nope.
380
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,825
Be right back.
381
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,306
Take your time.
382
00:16:43,350 --> 00:16:45,439
Veronica, do you trust
in Jesus Christ
383
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,268
as your personal
Lord and savior?
384
00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:50,487
[laughs softly]:
I do.
385
00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:52,750
JEFF: It's upon
your profession of faith
386
00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:55,188
that I baptize you, my sister,
387
00:16:55,231 --> 00:17:00,802
in the name of the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
388
00:17:00,845 --> 00:17:04,719
♪ Wade in the water
389
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,242
♪ Wade
390
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:11,030
♪ In the water, children, wade
391
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:14,033
♪ In the water
392
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:17,949
♪ Washing me down,
washing me down ♪
393
00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:25,261
♪ Wade...
394
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:28,134
Dang.
395
00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:30,745
All right, let's
try this again.
396
00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:32,442
Would you be ready to learn
some advanced calculus
397
00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,401
if it saved Celeste's pigtails?
398
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:37,447
What are you doing?
Put her down.
399
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:40,059
Not until I modify
your behavior.
400
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:44,454
In the name of the Father, Son
and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
401
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,543
♪ Drop me in the water...
402
00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:48,632
Sheldon, I'm warning you.
403
00:17:57,511 --> 00:17:58,860
ALL:
Hallelujah!
404
00:17:58,903 --> 00:17:59,904
[laughs]
We did it!
405
00:17:59,948 --> 00:18:01,471
♪ Tease me...
406
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:03,560
Ooh, I'm so happy.
407
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:05,475
I love you.
408
00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:09,218
Is it working?
Are you feeling motivated?
409
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:11,264
Very.
410
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:12,352
[animal growling]
411
00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:18,140
[Georgie grunts][all gasping]
412
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:19,576
Care to explain yourself?
413
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,361
I was trying
to motivate Missy
414
00:18:21,404 --> 00:18:24,059
to expand her
intellectual horizons.
415
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,366
By torturing
her Cabbage Patch doll?
416
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,455
Well, it's not like I shocked
her with electrodes,
417
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,370
which was an option.Enough.
418
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:32,589
To be clear, I meant to
shock Missy, not the doll.
419
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:33,808
That would be ineffective.
420
00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:35,897
Enough! And you.
421
00:18:35,940 --> 00:18:38,813
Getting baptized just to kiss
a girl? What were you thinking?
422
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:41,511
Sounds like you know
what I was thinking.
423
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:44,471
Well, you are both grounded.
424
00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:56,961
MISSY: Dear Alf,
I'm your number one fan.
425
00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:59,442
I like you because you're
an alien but you're funny,
426
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:03,011
unlike my brother who's an alien but just a jerk.
427
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:05,927
Anyway, I hope you're enjoying
your time here on our planet
428
00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:08,408
and have found things to eat
other than cats.
429
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,279
I recommend chicken nuggets.
430
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:13,195
Sincerely, Missy Cooper,
age ten.
431
00:19:13,239 --> 00:19:17,765
ALF: "P.S. My favorite color
is pink. What's yours?"
432
00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:20,202
Ha. What a cutie pie.
433
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,770
Hey, hey, Barbara, we got
any more of those pink T-shirts
434
00:19:22,813 --> 00:19:24,206
with my face on them?
435
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,861
I want to send one
to this Missy Cooper kid.
436
00:19:26,904 --> 00:19:29,429
Oh, oh, and get me
some chicken nuggets, huh?
437
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:32,997
Hello? Anybody out there?
438
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:37,306
Apparently not.
439
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:38,351
Barb!
440
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,744
Captioning sponsored by
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441
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,964
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442
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:45,009
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443
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:49,609
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