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00:00:04,656 --> 00:00:05,005
.
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00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:06,963
- "Will & Grace" is recorded
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:09,313
in front of
a live studio audience.
4
00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:11,098
- Hey, uh,
5
00:00:11,141 --> 00:00:13,361
I've got something
I need to tell you guys
6
00:00:13,404 --> 00:00:14,797
about the wedding.
7
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:17,321
Oh, boy.
8
00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:20,107
I think you should
all be seated.
9
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At my wedding!
10
00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:23,719
What!
Whoo!
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00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:26,678
Okay, I just finished
the chart.
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00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:28,811
Karen and Grace, you'll be
up front with your plus ones,
13
00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:32,032
Noah and Malcolm,
and Will--ooh.
14
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:36,253
This is a little Awkwafina.
15
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:39,691
You're way back at the, uh...
16
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:42,694
singles table.
[laughs]
17
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:45,697
- I fully intend to bring
someone to your wedding.
18
00:00:45,741 --> 00:00:47,656
- You do?
Who?
19
00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:50,441
- I might find somebody.
- [chuckles]
20
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:53,183
- I love that you think that.
21
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,752
- Okay, girls and girls,
I gotta get out of here.
22
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:59,146
I got an election
to illegally ri--
23
00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:01,409
whoops, almost said it
out loud.
24
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:05,761
- I'm gonna go call
some designers
25
00:01:05,804 --> 00:01:07,241
and drum up votes.
26
00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:08,546
Once again,
I find myself
27
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,722
begging gay men to love me.
28
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,378
- So you came all the way
29
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:16,467
down here just to rub it
in my face
30
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,208
that I'm at the singles table?
31
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,644
- Nobody's rubbing anything
in your face,
32
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:22,473
which is why
you're at the singles table.
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00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:24,214
- You're loving this,
aren't you?
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00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:26,738
You get married,
me not having anybody.
35
00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:28,262
- Absolutely not.
36
00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:30,612
I take no joy in letting
you know you're sitting
37
00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:33,093
[lightly]
at the singles table.
38
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:35,443
- You can't even say it
without smiling.
39
00:01:35,486 --> 00:01:37,184
- Of course I can.
40
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:40,100
You
[singsongy] uh...
41
00:01:48,282 --> 00:01:50,153
Are at...
42
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:55,680
[laughing] Singles table.
43
00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:58,683
[upbeat trumpet
and piano music]
44
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:05,777
♪
45
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:11,218
- Will, our building
is on the news.
46
00:02:11,261 --> 00:02:12,610
[news theme plays]
- What?
47
00:02:12,654 --> 00:02:14,221
Wow, that is our building.
48
00:02:14,264 --> 00:02:16,353
- Bird lovers are talking
about this nest
49
00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,877
on the Upper West Side
where an extremely rare
50
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:21,880
red-tailed hawk awaits
the arrival of her chicks.
51
00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:24,361
With temperatures dropping,
it's imperative
52
00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:26,755
that those eggs
are always kept warm.
53
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:30,324
That's why mama bird must sit
on those eggs at all times.
54
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,848
Otherwise they may not hatch
at all.
55
00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:34,502
- Thank you, Angela.
56
00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:37,418
And finally it's time
for "The Real McCoy."
57
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:39,463
- That's McCoy Whitman.
You went out with him.
58
00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:42,292
- Yeah, once, but he's just
into meaningless hookups
59
00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:44,860
with hot, superficial
dumb-dumbs.
60
00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:46,731
- So he's a guy.
61
00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:48,820
♪
62
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,300
- And that's when I realized
63
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:52,563
I've been wrong
all these years.
64
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:55,305
This is actually my best side.
65
00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:59,483
That's why I go, "It's time
for 'The Real McCoy.'"
66
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,311
See--what was
the question again?
67
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,184
- If you have any brothers
or sisters?
68
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:05,620
- Yeah, one brother.
69
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:07,665
Also a newscaster.
Smaller market.
70
00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:10,451
Is he jealous?
I'd rather not say.
71
00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:12,888
He is.
- Okay. [coughs]
72
00:03:12,931 --> 00:03:14,672
McCoy.
73
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,413
I like you.
- I like you too.
74
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:18,676
- So you don't have to do this.
75
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,678
- Do what?
- Impress me.
76
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:24,421
Convince how successful
and attractive you are.
77
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,510
Can't we get past
the surface stuff?
78
00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:30,514
I wanna know
the real Real McCoy.
79
00:03:30,558 --> 00:03:32,560
- Wow.
80
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,866
Nobody ever wants to know
what's on the inside.
81
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:37,434
- Well, I do.
That stuff matters.
82
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:38,653
- Okay.
83
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:41,438
Well, it hasn't been easy
for me.
84
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,919
Here, let me show you a picture
of me in high school.
85
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,703
Maybe you'll see
where I'm coming from.
86
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,270
- Oh, I get it.
87
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:49,229
We all had
those awkward teen years.
88
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:51,492
I had zits and braces and--
89
00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:54,973
Holy scoliosis!
You were gorgeous!
90
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,367
- Exactly.
91
00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,804
I've always been
this good looking.
92
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:04,418
- You'd have called me
the wrong name in high school,
93
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,420
and I would have let you.
94
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:10,598
And this has been rough
for you how?
95
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:13,601
- Because this is
all people see me as.
96
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:17,518
They don't want to hear
about who I am or what I feel.
97
00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:18,823
But you do.
98
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,304
I knew there was something
special about you.
99
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,958
That's why I couldn't stop
thinking about you.
100
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:24,742
And then we're doing
a story about that hawk,
101
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:27,658
and it's on your building.
It was like fate.
102
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,617
I knew that I needed
to see you again
103
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:32,924
[crying] because you see me.
104
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:43,674
[sobbing] You really see me.
105
00:04:45,589 --> 00:04:47,939
[weeping] Thank you.
106
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,724
- Okay, okay.
107
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:55,599
[blows through nose loudly]
108
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,297
[sniffles]
109
00:04:57,340 --> 00:05:00,648
Okay, is this what
you're looking for?
110
00:05:00,691 --> 00:05:02,476
- Sure, but--[clears throat]
111
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,956
- [sighs] I'm sorry.
I need a minute.
112
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,699
[breathing heavily] Oh.
113
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,440
Whoo.
114
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:14,357
You've peeled back
the first layer.
115
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,359
I can't wait to show you
the others.
116
00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:19,493
♪
117
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,451
[elevator dings]
118
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:27,936
- Hello, Grace.
- [high-pitched scream]
119
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:34,029
Val, I didn't see you
120
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:36,988
squeezed in the corner
back there.
121
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:38,642
- Why so jumpy?
122
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:40,078
- No reason.
123
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:44,779
Just things you've said, done,
stolen from my garbage.
124
00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:46,650
- Oh, yeah.
[chuckles]
125
00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:49,827
Well, it turns out
my "erratic behavior"
126
00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:51,916
and "violent tendencies"
were caused
127
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,049
by a Vitamin B deficiency.
128
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,574
I'm way better now.
129
00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,359
- Were you given that diagnosis
130
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:03,014
from a "real doctor"?
131
00:06:03,058 --> 00:06:05,887
Or from "your cat"?
132
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:10,065
- Cats can't be doctors,
only nurses.
133
00:06:13,111 --> 00:06:15,418
Besides, that's the old Val.
134
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:17,507
The new Val just wants
to be friends.
135
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,074
Oh, by the way,
good luck in the election.
136
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:20,380
- How do you know about that?
137
00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:22,469
- Well, years ago when I could
only self-soothe
138
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:24,514
by pretending to be you,
139
00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:26,690
I became a designer
140
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:30,868
and joined the Guild.
Again, old Val.
141
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:33,871
- So you're a voting member.
- Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
142
00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:38,180
- Can I count on your vote?
- No, I'm still undecided.
143
00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:39,703
New Val really likes
144
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:42,184
to think things through.
[elevator ding]
145
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:44,404
♪
146
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:46,406
.
147
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:49,191
[upbeat jazzy music]
148
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:53,238
- [tapping rapidly]
Val is a voting member?
149
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:56,024
This is a disaster.
150
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:58,505
Would it have killed you
to be nice to her?
151
00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:01,029
- Maybe.
152
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:03,553
I think she wanted to make me
into a Slim Jim.
153
00:07:03,597 --> 00:07:05,337
- Damn it, Grace.
154
00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:07,905
Don't you know
what's at stake here?
155
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,907
This is the Presidency
156
00:07:09,951 --> 00:07:15,086
of the people who tell people
where to hang wallpaper!
157
00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,436
[taps clipboard]
158
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:20,048
- So what are we supposed
to do?
159
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:23,486
- "We" aren't supposed
to do anything.
160
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,271
Mama will take care of this.
161
00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:30,232
- So what, you'll talk to her?
162
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:33,061
- [laughs]
Oh, I'll talk to her.
163
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:35,063
- Nothing shady or underhanded.
164
00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:37,282
- Nothing shady.
[clicks tongue twice]
165
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:39,154
- Or underhanded.
166
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,590
- Or...
167
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,679
[clicks tongue twice]
168
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,639
Underhanded.
169
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,510
- Oh, God, this is so hard.
170
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:50,078
I want to win so much,
but at what cost?
171
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:53,298
- Oh, get it together, Grace!
172
00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,477
We're so close
173
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,609
I can smell victory!
174
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:01,698
- Fine. Do what you have to do.
175
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,526
But I don't want
to know about it.
176
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:07,443
♪
177
00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:10,533
- Hey, um,
178
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:13,275
I felt really bad
about how I acted yesterday,
179
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:15,277
so I wanted to bring you
180
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,975
your wedding invitation
in person.
181
00:08:19,237 --> 00:08:21,457
[mumbles]
182
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,937
- Thank you.
183
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,722
"Will Truman plus zero."
184
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:32,599
You had this printed?
185
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:35,558
- [unevenly] It does not
make me happy, Will.
186
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,387
And, hey, there's nothing wrong
with the singles table.
187
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,389
And you'll be the oldest one.
188
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:43,697
You can be their leader.
Yay!
189
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:49,224
- You know what?
I'm not gonna be at that table.
190
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,095
I will be inviting
the hottest guy
191
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:52,749
in New York to be my plus one.
192
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:55,273
- Ugh.
Of course you are.
193
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,579
Oh, I've seen this movie.
194
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:57,798
On the day of the wedding,
195
00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:59,626
he'll suddenly be called
back to Canada.
196
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:02,498
[guffawing]
197
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:06,023
[coughing]
198
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,982
It's McCoy Whitman!
199
00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:10,158
- Hi, Jack.
- Yeah, yeah, we're on a date.
200
00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:12,160
But before you go, uh,
201
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:15,337
McCoy, short notice, but Jack's
getting married soon,
202
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:17,426
and I wondered
if you wanted to go with me.
203
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:20,429
- Yeah, I would love to.
204
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:26,435
- But you don't know
when it is!
205
00:09:26,478 --> 00:09:28,002
It could be very inconvenient
for you.
206
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:32,267
- I can make it work.
- Put me down for a plus one.
207
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:39,100
- How nice.
208
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:41,624
I guess I'll just put you
at the celebrity table
209
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:45,062
with J.Lo, Cher,
and "Teen Wolf"'s Tyler Posey.
210
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:49,066
- Jack, it's your wedding.
211
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:52,330
It's not like everybody's gonna
be looking at my hot plus one
212
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:56,683
and not the sweaty groom
with anxiety farts.
213
00:09:58,162 --> 00:09:59,686
- You're loving this,
aren't you?
214
00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:01,296
- No.
215
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:04,386
Not at all.
[laughs]
216
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:10,435
You don't really have to go--
- [sobbing]
217
00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:14,048
Okay, McCoy, broadcast face.
218
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,616
[breathes deeply]
219
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:20,402
First you open my heart,
220
00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:23,448
and then you invite me
to your best friend's wedding.
221
00:10:23,492 --> 00:10:26,538
This is a huge step for us.
222
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,628
- For us?
You know, McCoy, I think
223
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,717
we should just--
- Let's go to bed, Will.
224
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,327
- [scoffs]
225
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:34,677
Okay.
226
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:40,204
♪
227
00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:41,336
[voicemail beeps]
228
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:43,381
- Hey, McCoy.
Sorry I missed you.
229
00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:45,340
I just wanted to say
thanks for the flowers
230
00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:47,298
and the champagne
231
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:49,126
and the fun socks.
232
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:51,825
I, uh--I assume
the little stick figure men
233
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:54,828
holding hands are us.
234
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:57,700
It's all--it's a little much
for me.
235
00:10:57,744 --> 00:10:59,441
And--
[knocking at door]
236
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,748
Uh, just call me.
237
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:04,185
Okay?
We need to talk.
238
00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:06,622
- Hey.
239
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,145
- I was just leaving you
a message.
240
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:09,277
- I know.
241
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,495
I didn't pick up because I knew
242
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:11,801
I was gonna see you
in a second,
243
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:14,151
and then I get to hear
your voice again later.
244
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:16,284
- Aw, that's scary.
245
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:20,288
- [laughing] You're so funny.
246
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:24,118
And smart and handsome
and kind.
247
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:26,773
How did I get so lucky?
- Not always so nice.
248
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,470
Look, the message
I was leaving--
249
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,298
- No, stop.
Look, I'm new to this.
250
00:11:30,341 --> 00:11:31,734
And maybe this is wrong,
251
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:34,258
but I am feeling
so much right now.
252
00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:36,652
I just need to say these words
out loud before I burst.
253
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,219
- I think I need to say
my thing first.
254
00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:40,743
- No, Will, I have never said
these three words
255
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,571
to any man before in my life.
- Then don't.
256
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:43,572
- I...
- Please.
257
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:44,704
- Love...
- Please don't.
258
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,314
- You...
- There it is, there it is.
259
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,708
- I love you, Will Truman.
260
00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:51,667
Again, new to this.
261
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,277
Does the other person
always take this long
262
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:54,888
to respond?
263
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:57,238
.
264
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,719
[jazzy music]
265
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,155
[knocking at door]
266
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:03,157
- Hello, Grace.
It's me, Val.
267
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:07,291
I wasn't sure you'd recognize
me in my fancy clothes.
268
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:09,293
No, I'm just kidding.
I knew you'd recognize me.
269
00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,905
- Wow.
Val, you look amazing.
270
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:16,344
So, um, did Karen talk to you,
by any chance?
271
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,781
- Yes, she did,
and thank you for telling her
272
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:22,132
to buy me these things
so that I would vote for you.
273
00:12:22,176 --> 00:12:24,091
- Oh, I didn't tell her
to do that.
274
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:26,441
- Oh, when you're lying,
you have to go like this--
275
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,486
[clicks tongue twice]
at the end.
276
00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:30,793
- Yeah, but I'm not lying.
- No, like this--
277
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:33,840
"I'm not lying."
[clicks tongue twice]
278
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,102
You'll get it.
279
00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:38,192
- Okay, well, um, so...
280
00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:39,889
do I have your vote?
281
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:42,805
- Sorry, I can't vote
for a dirty politician.
282
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,851
♪
283
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:48,376
- Yes, Judith, Will's bringing
him to the wedding.
284
00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:51,901
Ugh! Yes, he's cute!
285
00:12:51,945 --> 00:12:53,816
No, you cannot sit
at his table!
286
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:57,385
I'm in a lot of pain, moth--
hey, buddy.
287
00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:59,039
- Sorry, Jack.
288
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:01,868
It looks like I won't be coming
to your wedding after all.
289
00:13:01,911 --> 00:13:03,391
Will dumped me.
290
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,045
- Oh.
291
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:08,265
It's opposite day.
[chuckles]
292
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:11,225
- It's my fault.
I came on too strong.
293
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:12,487
I've known him two days,
294
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,010
and I already know
his mother's name,
295
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,359
where she lives,
296
00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:18,101
and what her house
looks like on Google Earth.
297
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,452
- At least you don't know
what Kevin Bacon's garbage
298
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:23,150
smells like.
[laughs]
299
00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:25,892
- I'm such an idiot.
300
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,807
And I really liked him.
301
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:30,984
- You poor dear boy.
302
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:33,813
You know, you remind me of a...
303
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:36,990
slightly older version
of myself.
304
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:40,123
- You think I'm older than you?
'Cause I was born in--
305
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:43,866
- Let's not get caught up
in math, kay?
306
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,433
Look, I know what it's like
307
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,435
to fall in love
for the first time.
308
00:13:47,478 --> 00:13:49,393
It's like when you first try
cotton candy,
309
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:51,091
and you think,
"This is all I want to eat
310
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:53,223
and I want to eat it
all right now!"
311
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,964
And your mom's like,
"You're gonna get sick."
312
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,967
And you'll all, [yells]
"I know my own body, Judith!"
313
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:04,060
And you end up with blue vomit
all over your clothes.
314
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:08,108
But you got to ease into it,
you know?
315
00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:09,936
If you really want to make it
work with Will,
316
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:12,982
let him know you're willing
to take it slow.
317
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:15,593
- Why are you helping me?
318
00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:17,291
Kind of got the sense
that you're rooting
319
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,901
against us being together.
320
00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,511
- Whaaat?
321
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,212
Weird.
322
00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:26,953
Will's my best friend,
323
00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:29,433
and you seem like a decent guy,
324
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,348
As much as it kills me
to say this
325
00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:34,874
because I'm rooting
against you,
326
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,267
he deserves to be happy.
327
00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:39,617
- Thanks, Jack.
328
00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:45,188
♪
329
00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:48,931
- I have to tell you I'm very
disappointed in you, Grace.
330
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,628
I need some air.
331
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:51,891
- Val.
332
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:55,155
This is just
a big misunderstanding, Val.
333
00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:57,026
I mean, we have history.
334
00:14:57,070 --> 00:14:58,593
You hit me in the head
with a snow globe,
335
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:01,030
and that's friendship.
336
00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:03,990
- Is that a drone
delivering a pizza?
337
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:05,905
- They do that now?
338
00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:11,432
- What are you doing?
- I can't let you win, Grace.
339
00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:14,304
The Guild deserves a leader
with a moral compass like me.
340
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,524
- You can't just show up
and run at the last minute.
341
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:19,135
- Article 172 of the bylaws
says that I can.
342
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:21,268
- We have bylaws?
343
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:24,097
- Yes, we do,
as established in Article 1.
344
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,969
Good-bye, Grace.
- Wait, Val! No!
345
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,666
[banging, rattles handle]
346
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:30,973
Val, come on!
347
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:33,541
Oh. Oh, no.
348
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:37,284
[sirens wailing in distance]
349
00:15:37,327 --> 00:15:40,069
[whispering] Oh, God.
Oh, God.
350
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:42,028
Oh, God.
351
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:44,030
[grunts]
352
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:46,946
Okay, I can do this.
353
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,559
[lengthy gasp]
354
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,343
[wails]
355
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:54,605
I can do this.
356
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:57,434
Just have to get to the window.
357
00:15:58,696 --> 00:16:02,004
And then I'll be
on the staircase
358
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:04,964
that smells like diapers,
and I can handle that.
359
00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,317
[exhaling heavily]
360
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,188
[lengthy gasp]
361
00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:15,670
Oh, my God.
362
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:18,194
The hawk.
[gasps]
363
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:20,327
You're so beautiful.
364
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,111
[hawk caws]
365
00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:25,071
Oh! Oh, no!
Come back!
366
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:28,378
Your babies will freeze
if they're left uncovered!
367
00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:31,512
Freezing your eggs should
not be an impulse decision!
368
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:36,299
Who's gonna keep them warm now?
369
00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:40,086
Aw, crap.
370
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:42,610
♪
371
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,394
- Grace, I know you always
tell me not to leave
372
00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:46,962
long, rambling messages, but
you gotta listen to this one.
373
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,703
I don't know what to do
about McCoy.
374
00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:52,533
The guy's way too into me
after one date.
375
00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:54,448
You think sleeping with him
when he was vulnerable
376
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:57,625
and in tears was sending
a mixed message?
377
00:16:57,668 --> 00:17:01,020
Oh, here he is on the TV.
378
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,326
God, he's pretty.
379
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:07,026
You know, this isn't a problem.
Don't call me back.
380
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,636
- So we're left
with the question:
381
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:10,464
With the mother hawk
nowhere in sight,
382
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:13,467
how much longer can the woman
squatting over the eggs
383
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,338
continue to keep them warm?
384
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:18,124
- What are you looking at?
385
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,691
This is what
a good New Yorker does.
386
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:25,348
- Well, this was bound
to happen sooner or later.
387
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:27,568
- Oh, God.
388
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,613
Oh!
389
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:31,311
I forgot about you.
390
00:17:31,354 --> 00:17:33,400
[laughing] Yeah.
Yes.
391
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:37,665
[hawk cawing]
392
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:40,015
Mama bird, you're back!
393
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,799
Hi!
394
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:43,671
Look! Look!
395
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,499
I kept them warm for you.
396
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:49,329
[hawk cawing]
397
00:17:49,372 --> 00:17:51,331
What's that look in your eye?
398
00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:52,810
[hawk cawing]
399
00:17:52,854 --> 00:17:55,509
No!
[screaming]
400
00:17:58,903 --> 00:17:59,078
.
401
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:02,124
[jazzy music]
402
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:03,952
- Hello, Karen.
- [laughs]
403
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:07,042
- Do you like my new outfit
that I bought
404
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,000
with my own money?
[clicks tongue]
405
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:11,873
- I do, and I don't expect
406
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:14,832
anything in return.
[clicks tongue]
407
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:16,530
[both laugh]
408
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,184
- It's so nice to finally play
with someone
409
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:20,882
who gets the rules.
- Yeah!
410
00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:22,144
- Okay.
411
00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:23,667
Now, now,
412
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:26,017
everyone, can I please
have your attention?
413
00:18:26,061 --> 00:18:29,195
I have no idea where Grace is,
probably in a bar.
414
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:31,066
Uh...
415
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,155
but I don't know for sure,
but since she's not here,
416
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:36,506
I feel compelled to throw
my hat into the ring.
417
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:40,293
- Damn you, Article 172!
[sighs]
418
00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:43,252
- And speaking of Grace,
what kind of a person
419
00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:44,993
throws a victory party
for herself
420
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:46,516
in her own office
for an election
421
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:47,735
and doesn't even show up?
422
00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:48,910
What's that?
423
00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:51,608
[raspy voice] "A crazy person!"
424
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:56,178
Sir, sir, that's not fair.
425
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:58,876
I don't like that one bit.
426
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,965
But I must say
that I do agree with you.
427
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:02,793
It is a little crazy.
428
00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:05,840
- Who are you calling crazy?
429
00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:12,673
This wackadoo locked me
out on a ledge,
430
00:19:12,716 --> 00:19:14,979
and then I had to sit
on hawk eggs
431
00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:17,721
and keep them warm,
and I sang to them,
432
00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:20,071
and I loved them in my own way.
433
00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:21,856
[breathing shakily]
434
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:25,903
And then the mommy hawk came
back, and did she thank me?
435
00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:28,254
No...
436
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:32,910
♪
437
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:35,043
- Honey, cheer up.
438
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:37,219
You had to know
this was gonna happen.
439
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:40,831
- No, I didn't know
I was gonna win.
440
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:47,186
They knew I was corrupt,
and they voted for me anyway.
441
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,927
- Honey, they voted for you
because you're corrupt.
442
00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:52,582
Where have you been?
443
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,976
- You know what?
I'm gonna redeem myself.
444
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,935
It'll take a lot of work,
but I'm up for the challenge.
445
00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:02,331
- Stop moping.
You're President of the...
446
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:06,248
Helena Bonham Carter
something something.
447
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:11,819
♪
448
00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:13,908
[knocking at door]
449
00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:17,259
- McCoy?
450
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:19,305
- Look, I know I've been
going too fast.
451
00:20:19,348 --> 00:20:22,003
And I know saying "I love you"
to someone
452
00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:25,267
you've gone on two dates
with is crazy.
453
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:28,183
I went too far,
and I freaked you out.
454
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,967
Jack helped me realize that.
455
00:20:30,011 --> 00:20:31,795
- Jack?
- Yeah.
456
00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:34,058
- He said that relationships
are like cotton candy
457
00:20:34,102 --> 00:20:36,713
and that I shouldn't
give up on us.
458
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,152
- Jack McFarland?
459
00:20:41,196 --> 00:20:42,850
- Yeah.
460
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:44,417
He's a pretty deep guy.
461
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,245
- Jack McFarland,
the jumpy ferret-man
462
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:48,116
who lives across the hall?
463
00:20:48,159 --> 00:20:50,423
- Yeah. Look, the truth is,
464
00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:53,774
I've never been
in a real relationship before.
465
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:56,211
I don't really know how to be.
466
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,866
- Well, you're doing
pretty good right now.
467
00:20:58,909 --> 00:21:01,999
- So what do you say?
Can we give it another shot?
468
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:04,654
- [clears throat] Yeah.
I'd like that.
469
00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:06,874
But let's just take it slow.
470
00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:11,313
Okay? Fewer gifts
and on-air declarations.
471
00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:12,836
- Got it.
472
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,013
So... I'll call you.
473
00:21:16,057 --> 00:21:17,841
- Where are you going?
474
00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:20,017
- I thought you wanted
to take it slow?
475
00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:21,323
- Let's talk about it tomorrow.
476
00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:23,194
I'm in the mood
for cotton candy.
477
00:21:23,238 --> 00:21:26,285
♪
478
00:21:26,335 --> 00:21:30,885
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