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1
00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:07,507
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER AND LAUGHTER]
2
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,343
[KIMMY] What up, Giztoob!
3
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:12,178
How's everyone doing tonight?
4
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,847
Anyone here from New York?
5
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,060
Cool. Cool.
6
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,770
Well, welcome to Giztoob.
7
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,063
[CHUCKLES]
8
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:25,400
You know, when Zach told me
that Giztoob was re-branding,
9
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,610
I said, "Yikes. Good
thing I'm not a cow."
10
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,195
- Oh! [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS]
11
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,448
Thank you, my people in the back.
12
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:32,907
Remember to tip your waitress.
13
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,117
But don't actually tip her.
14
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,452
She's not a cow. Callback!
15
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,412
[BOTH LAUGHING]
16
00:00:37,495 --> 00:00:41,291
[LAUGHS] So we hired a
freelance designer,
17
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,792
only there was nothing free about him.
18
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,253
Oh, and his name wasn't Lance.
19
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:48,423
I should say we hired an expensive Josh.
20
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:49,480
[LIGHT CHUCKLING]
21
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,717
Hiyo!
22
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,303
[BOTH CHUCKLING AND APPLAUDING]
23
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:56,306
So without further
"a-moo"... rule of threes...
24
00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:57,330
[LAUGHS]
25
00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:59,267
... the new Giztoob logo!
26
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:02,771
[EPIC STRING MUSIC]
27
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,816
- [BOTH] Oh.
- [MURMURS AND APPLAUSE]
28
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,027
Well, that's my time.
29
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:12,447
Thanks, everyone. You've
been 2,000-and-great.
30
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:13,531
Mic drop!
31
00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:18,078
[FEEDBACK SQUEALS, CROWD SHOUTS]
32
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:21,081
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
33
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:26,160
34
00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:27,670
[BANKSTON]
Unbreakable
35
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,130
They alive, damn it
36
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,757
It's a miracle
37
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:31,841
Unbreakable
38
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,343
They alive, damn it
39
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,512
But females are strong as hell
40
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:36,596
Unbreakable
41
00:01:36,679 --> 00:01:37,806
They alive, damn it
42
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,432
It's a miracle
43
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:40,725
Unbreakable
44
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:41,893
They alive, damn it
45
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,228
That's gonna be, uh...
46
00:01:43,310 --> 00:01:46,100
you know, a fascinating transition.
47
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,130
[SINGERS]
Damn it
48
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,567
[LIGHT MUSIC]
49
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,820
- [CELL PHONE RINGS]
- [SCOFFS]
50
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,154
A 212 number?
51
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,531
That's where Broadway is!
52
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,076
Broadway?
53
00:01:58,159 --> 00:01:59,536
Hi, this is Ronan Farrow
from The New Yorker.
54
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,038
I'm trying to reach Titus Andromedon?
55
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,123
No, thank you.
56
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:04,833
If I wanted to read
this week's New Yorker,
57
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,334
I'd just go to the doctor
six years from now.
58
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:09,254
I'm actually calling about
a story I'm working on.
59
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:12,423
I believe you auditioned
for Mr. Frumpus last year
60
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:15,009
"in an effort to get Mikey back"?
61
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,970
I was hoping we could
talk about your meeting.
62
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,973
[EERIE STRING MUSIC]
63
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:22,600
64
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,477
- No!
- [FRANTIC JAZZ MUSIC]
65
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,437
Titus! Come on, be cool, man.
66
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,356
Mr. F's just a little old-fashioned.
67
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,317
I won't touch you. You can
just watch me take a shower.
68
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:35,280
[CACKLES] What's the matter?
Can't you take a compliment?
69
00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,283
Bitch!
70
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,285
[SHAKILY] You know, I go
on lots of auditions.
71
00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:41,870
I'm looking at your credits
from the past year,
72
00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,496
and it doesn't appear that you do.
73
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,789
Hmm. Tooshe.
74
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:45,957
Look, Mr. Andromedon,
75
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,999
there are a lot of rumors out there
76
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,750
about Mr. Frumpus and
his "audition process."
77
00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:53,006
I just need someone to go on the record.
78
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:54,215
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
79
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:57,135
[SINISTER MUSIC]
80
00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:59,637
Going down?
81
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:00,763
[GASPS]
82
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:04,100
Whoops! How'd that happen?
83
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,602
Nothing! Nothing happened!
84
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,812
You know, I have someone
on the other line.
85
00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:08,900
Who, you ask?
86
00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,148
It's...
87
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,858
Row...
88
00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:13,067
nun...
89
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,777
Fair...
90
00:03:14,780 --> 00:03:15,820
row.
91
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,072
Row-nun Fair-row. Good-bye!
92
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,657
Uh...
93
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,618
[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING, CROWD CHATTERING]
94
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,662
- [LAUGHS]
- [C.H.E.R.Y./L.] Great party, Kims.
95
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,873
White girl wasted!
96
00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:29,459
[KIMMY] Ugh, here comes Josh.
97
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:30,710
He's such a buzzkill.
98
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:33,087
Did you know he's allergic
to shrimp and peanuts?
99
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,465
He's why we stopped doing
Shrimp and Peanut Fridays.
100
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:39,302
[SLURRING] Whatever. He's
into you, or he wants to be.
101
00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,429
Uh-oh! Rebooting!
102
00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:44,682
[MACHINERY WHIRRING AND POWERING DOWN]
103
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,559
[C.H.E.R.Y./L. BEEPING]
104
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,728
Hey, Kimmy. Just wanted to
thank you for the shout-out.
105
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:51,022
- That was really...
- [WOMAN] Oh, there she is!
106
00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:53,524
Oh, this one! [LAUGHS]
107
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:54,984
Hope we're not interrupting.
108
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,528
Dave Hoffman. This is my wife, Janice.
109
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,864
We are Joshy's parents!
110
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,908
Really? It is so nice to...
111
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:03,284
Sorry, I'm a hugger.
112
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,827
- Oh, Giztoob has a policy...
- [LAUGHS]
113
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:08,331
[GASPS] That's a good hug, Janice.
114
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,708
Your speech was hilarious.
115
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,835
Say, wanna hear a joke about paper?
116
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:15,046
Never mind. It's "tear-ible."
117
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:19,008
[SQUEALS, LAUGHS] That
works on so many levels!
118
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,094
[LAUGHS]
119
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:24,597
So yeah, my parents
insisted on coming to this.
120
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:25,682
Fun for me.
121
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:29,060
I bet. My mom never came
to any of my stuff.
122
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:32,105
No, she came to one of my soccer
games but only 'cause she got caught
123
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,274
in the net the night before and
the guy just left her there.
124
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,277
I know all our attention
drives Josh crazy.
125
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,403
He's the crazy one!
126
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:42,115
But I will never get tired of watching
my little baby flap his wings.
127
00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,950
- [DAVE LAUGHS]
- [JANICE] Luckily,
128
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:46,202
he still hasn't flown away
from the nest. Right, Joshy?
129
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,162
[SIGHS] Nope. Still
live with my parents.
130
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,789
[CHUCKLES] Jealous?
131
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:52,208
Yes. Very.
132
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,085
Must be a 24-7 hugfest.
133
00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:56,671
[PARENTS CLEAR THROATS]
134
00:04:56,754 --> 00:05:00,133
So, Kimmy, I, uh, had some
plans fall through tonight,
135
00:05:00,216 --> 00:05:03,594
and, I don't know, I'm sure after
this, you'd have no interest...
136
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,930
[EXCITEDLY] I'd love to go
out with you guys! Guy.
137
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,640
[COOLLY] I'd love to
go out with you, guy.
138
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,226
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
139
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,499
A Sliding Doors reboot is in the works
140
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,854
with much of the original cast...
141
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:14,856
[LILLIAN] Hey, Red.
142
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:17,025
What are you all slutted up for?
143
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,110
What? Who? Kimmy?
144
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:23,323
Please. Your sexy scrunchie,
your sparkle lip balm.
145
00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:24,449
Who's the guy?
146
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:26,492
His name's Josh, but...
147
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,120
I'm really hoping he just
takes me home to his parents.
148
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:31,581
That's what we used to
call the Devil's Four-way.
149
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,791
[SIGHS]
150
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,919
[GLUM MUSIC]
151
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,589
[SIGHS] I don't even want to
tell you what's bothering me
152
00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,507
because I already know what
each of you is going to say.
153
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,342
[MIMICKING KIMMY] "Do
the right thing, Titus.
154
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,803
My socks have bunnies
on them. The bunker!"
155
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,013
- [GASPS]
- [MIMICKING LILLIAN] "Oy,
156
00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:48,598
don't do anything, Titus.
157
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:52,143
Snitches get stitches.
Ed Koch wasn't all gay.
158
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:53,519
I can tell ya."
159
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,605
Oh! He nailed us.
160
00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,128
Come on, Titus. It'd be an
opportunity to talk about yourself.
161
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,069
The Mr. Frumpus stuff is coming out.
162
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:06,407
- They want me to do an interview.
- Mr. Frumpus? The puppet?
163
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,618
Last year, I auditioned for him, and...
164
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,828
He made a move, didn't he?
165
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,873
I-I can't believe that son
of a bitch is still at it.
166
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:18,252
Roland was on Sesame Street in 1976,
167
00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,879
and things got weird.
168
00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:22,799
[FUNKY BASS RIFF PLAYING]
169
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,802
It sure was fun making music
with you, Mr. Frumpus.
170
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:28,930
You can really slap that bass, Roland.
171
00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:30,139
[DIRECTOR] And cut!
172
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,350
- [BELL RINGS]
- [CREW MURMURING]
173
00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:34,060
Hey, you know what I can slap?
174
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:38,106
That big ole butt of yours.
Slappy-dappy-dappy.
175
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:42,151
Huh. I guess that puppet has a type.
176
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:46,489
If you could take down that fuzzy
orange bastard, why wouldn't you?
177
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:49,283
- Because it's humiliating.
- [KIMMY] Aw, Titus.
178
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,119
- You have nothing to be...
- I touched it!
179
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,830
I touched it, okay? And I
still didn't get the job!
180
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,749
Mmm. You know, once you go orange,
181
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,167
you never...
182
00:06:58,220 --> 00:06:59,230
Lonny,
183
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,837
what rhymes with orange?
184
00:07:01,462 --> 00:07:02,922
Don't drag me into this, man.
185
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,842
- [STAMMERS]
- [GIGGLES]
186
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:10,555
That's right. It's okay.
187
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,306
[TERRIFYING STRING MUSIC]
188
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,308
Yeah, it's fuzzy.
189
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:18,271
Hmm! [CACKLES]
190
00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:19,522
[GASPS]
191
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:22,775
I don't wanna be defined
by that one horrible day.
192
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:26,154
I mean... I've touched so many things!
193
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,822
Like, um...
194
00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:33,326
Oh, yeah.
195
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,288
[SNIFFS]
196
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:43,759
Titus, I would never
tell someone to share
197
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,130
their story if they didn't want to.
198
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,841
In your face, Lillian.
199
00:07:46,924 --> 00:07:47,967
Boom, bitch! Bye.
200
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,969
But you really should. It's the
right thing to do. I'm sorry.
201
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,220
Ha!
202
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:54,474
There's a special place in hell
for women who don't help Tituses.
203
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,937
[GEORGE] This Sunday, Tony
nominees will be bringing
204
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:02,398
victims of sexual
harassment as their guests.
205
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,901
Victims? I'm a victim.
206
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,777
And as a show of solidarity,
207
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:10,031
all those attending will be
wearing shorts to the ceremony!
208
00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:13,242
- That's so brave.
- It'll be the big Broadway night
209
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:17,038
that every victim of abuse
has ever dreamed of!
210
00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:19,290
[INHALES DEEPLY] I don't
care what you guys say.
211
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,918
I'm doing this interview.
212
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,920
For your dead husband, Ringo!
213
00:08:24,003 --> 00:08:25,004
Or whatever.
214
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,132
[DETERMINED MUSIC]
215
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,551
Never had a girl offer
to walk me home before.
216
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,969
You walk fast.
217
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,055
Just can't wait to get
back to your place, Joshy.
218
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:36,933
Wow. Oh, it's just, my
parents are still up.
219
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,684
Do you wanna get a drink somewhere or...
220
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,102
Or!
221
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,523
[WITH AUSTRALIAN ACCENT]
Look out, Kamchatka!
222
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,483
Here comes the Australian Navy!
223
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,401
No! We're a peaceful country!
224
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:49,111
- Not. Dice attack! [LAUGHS]
- Oh!
225
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,446
- [JANICE LAUGHS]
- Oh!
226
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,697
Hey, I'm gonna head to bed.
227
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,033
Oh, wow. It is getting late.
228
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,244
Kimmy, you must be famished.
229
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:58,913
Do you like Triscuits
with melted cheese?
230
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:02,375
Uh, I don't know, does Dave like
biographies of military leaders?
231
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,710
[BOTH] Oh! [LAUGHING]
232
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:07,797
[LAUGHTER]
233
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,469
[AWKWARD MUSIC]
234
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,096
- Good morning, Jacqueline.
- Good morning,
235
00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:16,973
you dirty little prostitute.
236
00:09:17,056 --> 00:09:19,475
I can tell when someone
didn't sleep at home.
237
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,895
You don't have your workbag, and
that scrunchie is begging for it.
238
00:09:22,970 --> 00:09:25,539
Well, I spent the night at Josh's place,
239
00:09:25,540 --> 00:09:28,020
but there wasn't much sleeping going on.
240
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,050
Oh!
241
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,820
This is so hot.
242
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:35,616
[RETRO SITCOM THEME PLAYS ON TV]
243
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,060
Wait, what?
244
00:09:37,090 --> 00:09:39,495
Let's just say Dave's
medication keeps him up
245
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:43,040
and Janice is a light sleeper,
so we went all night.
246
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,959
The graphics guy took you home,
247
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:47,169
and you two just hung out
with his mom and dad?
248
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,296
What a loser.
249
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:49,880
Ugh, tell me about it.
250
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:54,343
Luckily he went to bed early, and
that's when I 69'd his parents.
251
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,430
That's right. A new Scrabble
high score for the Kimster!
252
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,391
You don't like Josh?
253
00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:03,352
Ugh, no! He wore a fedora on our date.
254
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,313
And something must have
happened in the bathroom,
255
00:10:05,390 --> 00:10:07,139
because he came back without it
256
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,024
and acted like he had
never been wearing one.
257
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:12,361
So you're having an emotional
affair with a guy's parents?
258
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,281
What? No! I'm not having...
259
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:16,444
[WHISPERING] ... an affair.
260
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,161
I didn't have a mom and dad growing up.
261
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:22,747
Lori-Ann was never around,
and I used to tell people
262
00:10:22,770 --> 00:10:24,839
that Ronald McDonald was my dad...
263
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,399
- well, 'cause of the hair.
- Mm.
264
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,410
But then I got a cease
and desist letter.
265
00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,421
And a coupon for a free McRib.
266
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,824
Oh, God, please let that be the
saddest thing I hear today.
267
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:34,580
Jacqueline!
268
00:10:34,620 --> 00:10:37,590
Remember when I told you I've
never touched a puppet's penis?
269
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:39,722
Well, then how come the news said
I'm probably going to the Tonys,
270
00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,349
you idiot?
271
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:43,809
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
272
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,729
Titus, I want you to know
that I believe your story,
273
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,814
except the part where you said
you ran down the hallway.
274
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,484
- Fair.
- But you're not going to the Tonys.
275
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:53,361
Tell that to my freshly shaved knees.
276
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:56,989
I'm gonna paint that red
carpet red... with knee blood.
277
00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:58,719
[PHOTOGRAPHER] Turn this way! Look here!
278
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,640
[REPORTER] Titus! Who did your shorts?
279
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,079
Um, Russell Athletic!
280
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:05,081
Former sweatpant caught in an escalator.
281
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:06,600
- [PHOTOGRAPHER] Titus, turn to your right.
- [PHOTOGRAPHER] Over here, over here!
282
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:07,790
[PHOTOGRAPHER] Over here.
Look at the camera.
283
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,043
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
284
00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:10,211
No.
285
00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,587
I mean I'm not letting
you do that interview.
286
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,339
Another actor came forward this morning,
287
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,340
and the backlash has been fierce.
288
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:17,385
[CORIOLANUS] Why can't you
people leave me alone?
289
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,470
It was a bad thing that
happened, and that puppet...
290
00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,138
Excuse me, I don't want no
more questions, please.
291
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,641
[REPORTER] Why are you the first
one to come forward in 50 years?
292
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:26,018
Please, I'm just trying to pick
up my ferret from the day care.
293
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,603
- [REPORTER] Why should we believe...
- I've worked with John Frumpus
294
00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:30,648
for many years, and that
is not the puppet I know.
295
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:33,734
In fact, many of his coworkers
are speaking out in solidarity.
296
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,569
Mr. Frumpus is innocent.
297
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:38,364
Frumpus is a scapegoat! I should know.
298
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:42,201
Lives are being shattered and
destroyed by a mere allegation!
299
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,078
I mean, who are we supposed to believe,
300
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:48,124
a beloved American icon or one
fame-hungry brown-eyed actor
301
00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,418
trying to get a ticket
to the failing Tonys?
302
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,378
Well, I say that's poopy.
303
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:54,130
For Fox Kidz, I'm Brayden J.
304
00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:56,960
They're eating Coriolanus alive.
305
00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:58,879
I thought the victims
are the new heroes.
306
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,740
"Shorts to the Tonys," et cetera.
307
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,054
I don't know what to tell you.
308
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,306
We don't live in a Judge Judy
world where everything is fair.
309
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,350
- [SCOFFS]
- Kobe Bryant has an Oscar
310
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:09,103
and Al Franken got kicked
to death by handmaids.
311
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:11,397
All I know is that Coriolanus
Burt getting blacklisted
312
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,982
means more opportunities for you.
313
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,010
Look.
314
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,277
I hate Coriolanus Burt, but
he's telling the tru-tru.
315
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,099
So what? You keep your mouth shut,
316
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:19,199
and this just might be the best thing
317
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,530
- that ever happened to you.
- [CORIOLANUS] Please let me through.
318
00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:21,991
I have a ferret in my shirt
319
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:25,119
who needs her diarrhea
medicine and... oh, no.
320
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,372
- What did they feed you, Daphne?
- [JANICE LAUGHING]
321
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,583
Oh, I just love the Olive Garden.
322
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:33,461
Everything comes out hot, the
servers are a delight...
323
00:12:33,544 --> 00:12:35,087
[BOTH] And the portions!
324
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:39,258
Oh, look at you, huh?
Finding love at work.
325
00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:42,219
[CHUCKLES] You know, your mother
and I met at summer camp.
326
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,805
Ah, well, he was a
counselor. I was a CIT.
327
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:47,766
I had gotten poison oak
in my swim trunk area...
328
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:51,729
[LAUGHING] Dad, nobody
wants to hear that.
329
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:53,606
- [PARENTS LAUGH]
- How 'bout we tell you the rest tonight?
330
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,049
- Can you come over for dinner, Kimmy?
- We'll let you know.
331
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:59,069
We're out all afternoon, but
we'll have our car phones.
332
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,196
- [DAVE] Bye-bye.
- Bye.
333
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:05,576
Look, maybe tonight we could do
something without my parents.
334
00:13:05,650 --> 00:13:07,399
Uh, but don't you think
it's a little soon
335
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,703
to be not meeting your parents?
336
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:10,080
I still haven't seen your place.
337
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,599
Oh, that's not an option
338
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,780
because I live above a
shrimp and peanut factory.
339
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,420
A shrimp and peanut factory?
340
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:17,963
I know, right?
341
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,799
So I'll let Janice and Dave
know we're in for Jeopardy!
342
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,969
- Okay.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]
343
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,722
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
344
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,770
- Go for Titus. Stay for drama.
- [MIKEY] Titus?
345
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,479
It's Mikey, from that dream you had
346
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,140
where we opened a pancake
restaurant together?
347
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,439
- Michael, hello. You sound well.
- Look,
348
00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,274
I was reading about
this Mr. Frumpus stuff,
349
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,026
and then I realized that
you auditioned for him.
350
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,737
Oh, how sweet of you to worry about me,
351
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:44,323
what with the ozone layer
and the late-night wars.
352
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,283
Is it true about Mr. Frumpus?
353
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,952
I really hope not
354
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,954
and not just because I'm 1/4 marionette.
355
00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:52,373
Michael, I don't wanna
talk about the past.
356
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:55,042
I wanna sing about the future!
357
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,628
Cyborg Cher
She's a Cher made of metal
358
00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:59,463
But with Cher's real face
359
00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:01,966
Well, I'm here if you ever need to talk.
360
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,927
As friends. So keep in touch.
361
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,637
I didn't touch anything!
362
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:11,809
I mean, I will keep in touch with
you. Anyway... orange tube.
363
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,355
Coriolanus Burt is my real name!
364
00:14:16,430 --> 00:14:17,619
I didn't come up with it by
365
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:19,023
looking around at random
things in the room.
366
00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:22,319
Hey! Why aren't you out there
nailing Frumpus to the wall?
367
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:25,072
Instead, this guy's taking all the heat!
368
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,074
How do you know that
isn't me, you racist?
369
00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,869
Well, I thought it was you
until you walked in here.
370
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:33,205
Look, I was gonna come forward,
but it's career suicide,
371
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:35,749
and you know how I
want my career to end:
372
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,751
falling off the top row
on Hollywood Squares.
373
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:41,839
Everybody thinks that guy is a
liar, but you know he's not.
374
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:44,717
Maybe if you came forward,
they would believe him.
375
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:47,219
Titus, come on. Think about it.
376
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:50,681
That could be you on the TV right now.
377
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,850
- [CELL PHONE RINGS]
- [CLEARS THROAT] Hello.
378
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:56,061
- [SQUEAKS ANGRILY]
- Titus, are you sitting down?
379
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,730
No, and it's terrible.
380
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,065
Coriolanus Burt shot a
commercial last month
381
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,610
that the client now wants
to reshoot with you!
382
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:03,986
Me?
383
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:07,156
- It's the role I was born to play!
- It's a national.
384
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:09,199
To one-up KFC and Reba McEntire,
385
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:14,246
Dairy Queen is introducing the
first-ever black male dairy queen.
386
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:17,041
[GASPS] First-ever?
387
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,542
This is why we march.
388
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,587
Sorry, Lillian. Fame calls.
389
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,840
I'm siccing Roland's ghost on you!
390
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,684
Good! Then we can make
sexy pottery together.
391
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:33,265
392
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:38,062
Look, I need your help.
393
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,980
Things are getting complicated.
394
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,191
Ugh, I knew you weren't
cut out for this.
395
00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:44,652
Being the other woman isn't all
holding your breath underwater
396
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,445
when his wife passes the hot tub.
397
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,880
You need to have a plan. A second phone.
398
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:50,690
You can't be seen together in public.
399
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,409
And why am I treating this
like it's a real thing?
400
00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:53,470
[SIGHS]
401
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:56,121
This would all be so easy if
Josh were out of the picture.
402
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:59,124
I mean, what do they even see in him?
403
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,459
Ugh. [SLURPS]
404
00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:01,543
[SPUTTERS]
405
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,338
Why? Who wants that?
406
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,757
You people are sick!
407
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,051
Listen, you have to slow down.
408
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,261
Before you go threaten to kill
yourself at the Met Ball,
409
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,013
you need to know if he...
410
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:17,434
or this older couple... feels
the same way about you.
411
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,188
- You're right.
- [SAPPY VIOLIN MUSIC]
412
00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:23,357
This is still so new.
413
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:26,527
I need to find out if what Janice
and Dave and I have is real.
414
00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,948
How is she my only female friend?
415
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:33,742
Maybe because you say stuff
like that in front of me.
416
00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:36,020
C.H.E.R.Y./L., erase
the last 30 seconds.
417
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:39,123
- No! Please! It's so painful! No!
- [MACHINERY WHIRRING]
418
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:41,667
- [DING]
- What up, girlfriend?
419
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,294
- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
- Oh, hey!
420
00:16:44,378 --> 00:16:46,130
[JANICE] Darling, hi!
421
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,756
What's your handicap, Kimmy?
422
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,593
Janice's is five, and mine's
a slipped disk. [LAUGHS]
423
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:54,430
Are you okay? Where's Joshy?
424
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,807
Joshua won't be joining us.
425
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:02,146
I thought we could play mini
golf as a... threesies.
426
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,110
Oh, God, Kimmy, we
thought it was just us.
427
00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:09,153
[SIGHS HAPPILY]
428
00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:12,906
These last few days, you
made us feel young again.
429
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:15,075
Like it used to be with Joshy.
430
00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:17,453
Yeah, but are we really gonna do this?
431
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:21,206
Play mini golf behind
our adult son's back?
432
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,417
There's a name for people who do that.
433
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:25,461
No. There's not.
434
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:28,130
I checked the Internet. It
said this isn't a thing.
435
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,007
- [SIGHS]
- But we know it is.
436
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,719
Come on. I can give you
things Josh won't.
437
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:36,889
On the couch... popcorn,
438
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:38,766
M.A.S.H. reruns on the tube.
439
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:40,976
You can explain all the jokes to me.
440
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,689
I call orange.
441
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:51,612
[LAUGHTER]
442
00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:52,738
[DAVE GIGGLES]
443
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:56,450
My kingdom hath been
struck by a Blizzard!
444
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:59,036
- [REGAL MUSIC]
- To help diggeth me out,
445
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:04,166
I decree all DQ Blizzards are
two for the price of one!
446
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:06,752
Please! Help me!
447
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:10,672
Cut! Sorry, Titus, we need you
on the same mark as Coriolanus.
448
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:12,382
Please, help me.
449
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:15,594
- [RECORDING REWINDS]
- [ECHOING] Please, help me.
450
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:18,180
- [RECORDING REWINDS]
- Please, help me.
451
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:22,559
- [LILLIAN] Titus!
- Please! Help me!
452
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:26,188
[LILLIAN] That could be you on the TV
453
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:29,191
- right no-o-o-w.
- I can see you, Lillian.
454
00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:31,110
You didn't have to come down here.
455
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:33,112
- He already convinced me.
- Please help me.
456
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:39,368
Oh! So visual. Show, don't tell!
457
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,120
Hey, hey, Titus, what are you doing?
458
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,747
I quit. Are you happy now?
459
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:47,084
- I'll do it. I'll talk to Ronan.
- You want someone to go with you?
460
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:48,836
Yes, I do.
461
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,137
Why does it smell like
hotel soap in here?
462
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,805
Where were you last night?
463
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:03,976
After Janice, Dave, and I
played Putt-Putt... twice...
464
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,811
- Mm.
- ... we got a room.
465
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:07,437
Dave used his Marriott points.
466
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,897
[JANICE] I'm finishing. I'm finishing!
467
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,816
- Yes, yes, right there!
- Wait, wait!
468
00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:13,569
Oh, God, stop teasing me
and put it in already!
469
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:16,071
- [BOTH LAUGH]
- [SIGHS]
470
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,241
They told Josh they were going to
see something called Wind Rhythms
471
00:19:19,324 --> 00:19:22,828
at Lincoln Center... and
that he should not wait up.
472
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,580
Oh, God, Kimmy.
473
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:28,500
As stupid as this is, there are
real feelings at stake here.
474
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:31,003
Be careful. Maybe take the night off.
475
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,629
We've got it under control.
476
00:19:32,710 --> 00:19:33,839
Oh, yeah? Well, then wipe the stamp
477
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,423
from the Putt-Putt place off your hand,
478
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:36,717
you dumb slut.
479
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,016
I appreciate you coming with me.
480
00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:46,518
I'm proud of you. You're
the bravest guy I know.
481
00:19:46,530 --> 00:19:47,540
And one time,
482
00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:50,898
my buddy Gino ordered the Ni?oise
salad at a titty bar. He died.
483
00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,775
And you look... you look good.
484
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,402
- I like the hat.
- Oh, thanks.
485
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:56,862
I found it in a sewer.
486
00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:58,447
Titus? I'm Ronan Farrow.
487
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,657
Oh, my God, you are beautiful!
488
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,744
Puppets must be constantly
hitting on you.
489
00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:05,495
This one's personal for me.
490
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:07,831
Why don't we talk in here?
491
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:10,792
[TITUS EXHALES SHAKILY]
492
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:14,421
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
493
00:20:14,470 --> 00:20:15,640
_
494
00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:17,799
[EXHALES]
495
00:20:19,270 --> 00:20:21,590
_
496
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,138
- [JOSH] Knock-knock.
- What? Nothing!
497
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:27,200
- So, uh, what are you up to tonight?
- [CELL PHONE CHIMES]
498
00:20:27,220 --> 00:20:29,499
- _
- 'Cause my best friend's ska-cappella group
499
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,360
is doing a Shabbat concert.
500
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:32,420
[CHUCKLES]
501
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,776
Only seven hours, but later, my
improv team has a show in Hoboken.
502
00:20:35,859 --> 00:20:37,736
And after, I got tickets
to Wind Rhythms.
503
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:40,656
I can't. I have to go to...
504
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:42,532
... to the frame store!
505
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:45,160
And you have to work late. That's
what all those texts were.
506
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,080
What do they want me to do?
507
00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:51,291
They want you to be a man for
once and figure it out yourself!
508
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:54,336
[AWKWARD MUSIC]
509
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:55,837
510
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:57,339
- Kimmy.
- Kimmy.
511
00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:59,841
That's my name. Don't wear it out.
512
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,302
[FUNKY MUSIC]
513
00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:09,393
514
00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:13,981
- Oh!
- What the hell?
515
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:16,024
[GASPS] Josh! We can explain!
516
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,109
Don't bother.
517
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:19,903
This place reeks of stew,
and I saw your texts.
518
00:21:19,987 --> 00:21:21,947
You never logged off your
iCloud account on my iPad.
519
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:24,074
- I wish we never started with the cloud.
- The damn cloud.
520
00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:26,243
- The cloud is so confusing!
- So, what, you're just using me
521
00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:28,495
to hang out with an old married couple?
522
00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:30,831
Well, it started that way.
523
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:32,666
And then it continued that way.
524
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:35,085
So... yes, that's pretty
much what's happening.
525
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:37,462
And you two are into this?
526
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,048
How do you think that makes me feel?
527
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,092
When was the last time you
thought about our feelings?
528
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:45,304
- We have needs, Joshua!
- Kimmy wants us around.
529
00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:47,681
She doesn't roll her eyes at our jokes
530
00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:50,225
or when we can't remember
the name of that TV show.
531
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,686
- The... you know, the one we like?
- Madam Secretary.
532
00:21:52,769 --> 00:21:53,937
Damn it. Madam Secretary.
533
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,147
[JOSH] Wow. [CHUCKLES]
534
00:21:55,730 --> 00:21:57,319
How would you like it
if I had Sunday dinner
535
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:58,760
at the Sepkowitzes', hmm?
536
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:00,520
At least Nancy doesn't
overcook her brisket!
537
00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:02,529
- It's too red in the middle!
- Enjoy your E. coli!
538
00:22:02,612 --> 00:22:04,031
Mommy, Daddy! Stop fighting!
539
00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:09,244
I wanted this... bad.
540
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:13,749
But marriage between two parents
and their son is sacred.
541
00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:16,543
And as much as I want
Janice to iron my jeans
542
00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:19,504
and Dave to forward me funny emails...
543
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:20,756
Golf is like fishing.
544
00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:21,923
[LAUGHS]
545
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:24,551
... I was kidding myself thinking
you were ever gonna leave him.
546
00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:26,874
- No! He's our son.
- That was never on the table, Kimmy.
547
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:31,641
Treat 'em right, Josh.
548
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:34,644
[LIGHT MUSIC]
549
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:41,735
550
00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:48,492
Here at the Tonys, we have
divas in denim cutoffs,
551
00:22:48,575 --> 00:22:50,410
Bernadettes in Bermudas,
552
00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:52,788
and so many victims!
553
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:54,790
Ah, Terrence Mann!
554
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:57,459
- Wh... oh.
- Thank you for your bravery tonight.
555
00:22:57,542 --> 00:23:00,462
- That could be me on the TV.
- No, no, no, everyone here is a hero,
556
00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:04,466
and, uh, these shorts
are shouting, "Enough."
557
00:23:04,540 --> 00:23:05,999
I just wish I could've invited
558
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,240
all of the Frumpus
accusers who came forward.
559
00:23:08,260 --> 00:23:09,959
We got him, Roland!
560
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,030
Well, I am so honored
to be... get in here.
561
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:15,143
I am so honored to be here
tonight with Coriolanus Burt,
562
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:16,853
the man who started this movement
563
00:23:16,937 --> 00:23:19,815
and our first openly
black male dairy queen.
564
00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,024
- Yes.
- [LAUGHS]
565
00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:23,193
Coriolanus, whose
shorts are you wearing?
566
00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:25,695
Ah! John Cena for Christian Siriano.
567
00:23:26,404 --> 00:23:28,240
I'm sorry, Titus.
568
00:23:28,323 --> 00:23:31,243
I know this is as hard for
you as it is boring for us.
569
00:23:31,326 --> 00:23:32,869
[CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING]
570
00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:34,953
This is the award show I
always fantasized about...
571
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,667
... in the bathroom mirror,
clutching a bottle of maple syrup,
572
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:41,253
pretending it's a trophy
I then drink from.
573
00:23:41,336 --> 00:23:45,132
Dude, someday, you're
going to the Tonys.
574
00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:47,759
And not as a guest. You're
gonna be a nominee.
575
00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:51,179
And I'll be watching in a sports
bar, bragging to all the other guys.
576
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:54,307
- [LAUGHS]
- [CELL PHONE BUZZING]
577
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:00,240
- [JACQUELINE] Mr. Burt!
- Huh?
578
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,180
- Hi. Are you looking for representation?
- What?
579
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:03,560
[JACQUELINE] I've cut ties
with Johnny Mustache.
580
00:24:03,650 --> 00:24:04,860
- [WOMAN] Hi.
- [LAUGHS]
581
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:08,280
Oh... but MeToo and Time'sUp! And YOLO!
582
00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:09,531
NoFilter!
583
00:24:09,580 --> 00:24:14,580
584
00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:34,241
- Good night, everybody!
- Good night!
585
00:25:34,291 --> 00:25:38,841
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