Original subtitles

Lead Lady Centaur: Our 1,000-year wait is nearly over.

Today, and today only, the Fertile Centaur shall emerge

from scenic Fertility Lake to breed with us all!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Gasps ] Oh, no.

"Apologies, had to follow my heart.

I am sure you'll be fine.

Signed, Fertile Centaur."

We are doomed to extinction!

[ All howling ]

♪♪

[ Grunting ]

[ Laughs ]

You found my seeds.

Thank you, Tigtone.

The reward is gold, and here it is.

Happy to help, right, Tigtone?

More quests! Keep them coming!

[ Howling ] Huh? [ Laughs ]

Huh? Tigtone?

[ Laughs ]

Tigtone!

Is it another quest, Tigtone?

It must be a quest. He only gets like this when it's a quest.

[ Gasps ] The 99 centaurs!

Did you hear that, Helpy? A quest!

Here are the details.

Rescue a fertile centaur...

Ah. ...before the sun sets.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Save species from extinction...

...with my Helpy. Ah!

This quest has all of these things.

Ya-ha-ha-ha!

Lead Lady Centaur: You don't have to rescue him.

Just find him and escort him back.

♪♪

An escort quest?

Ah, the worst kind of quest.

Helpy, let's escort ourselves to a real quest.

But, Tigtone, you can't spell "escort quest" without "quest."

[ Sighs ] All right, 99 centaurs.

We'll do it. [ All cheering ]

Return the Fertile Centaur by the time

this shadow dial reaches zero...

or we will all die!

Escort quest, the worst kind of quest.

"So, Tigtone, is the world at stake?"

"I don't know. I'm on an escort quest!"

"Ah, what a waste of your time."

So are you!

Tigtone, it looks like he's been here.

[ Groans ] And here.

[ Groans ] [ Bird chirping ]

He's been all over the place here.

Pregnant. [ Groans ]

Pregnant.

Pregnant. Uck.

Oh. Huh?

Oh. Ooh.

You must be the Fertile Centaur.

The one and only, my loves. [ Chuckles ]

Oh, yes, tie me up.

No!

Oh, shot down by the mighty Tigtone.

We're taking you back to scenic Centaur Grove

whether I don't like it or not.

No, thank you.

Centaur sex is just so boring.

My heart 'twas into it no longer.

I had to get out there, sow some wild oats,

eat some wild oats.

Sometimes, they are even the same oats.

[ Chuckles ]

Everyone be quiet so I can get this over with in peace.

Bye, my loves.

Enjoy your babies.

♪♪

[ Bees buzzing ]

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Do not listen to them, my darling.

Can I fly with you?

The centaur's daughter?

No way! Freak!

My darling.

[ Crying ]

Oh, my darling.

Oh.

♪♪

Wow.

Isn't it an honor to be saving the centaurs?

Honor is the look

a mummy gives me as I cut its throat

or the sound of my fist ending an evil lord's bloodline,

not this!

[ Sneezes ] I'm allergic to pollen.

We have to go around.

[ Sighs ]

Hmm.

Helpy: Oh, no, Dart Canyon.

[ Both groan ]

It's like he wants to go extinct.

What are you doing?!

Everyone knows the berries of Dart Canyon are poisonous.

[ Gasps ] I'm allergic to poison.

[ Both grunting ]

Oh, now I'm hungry again.

[ Sighs ] Here is my last roast chicken.

Try not to get it pregnant.

Whether it's a Fertile Centaur or a lost baby-bear prince,

all escort quests are the same -- hated by me!

Yeah!

[ Chuckles ]

Some lava for the father.

Lava monsters cannot get pregnant!

It doesn't hurt to try.

Yes, it does!

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!

Help me. Help me, my loves!

Help! Tigtone, help!

Whoa! Tigtone!

Why is he so light?!

♪♪

Oh, what now?!

I'm sinking to death,

but the mud feels so good on my skin.

Then there's only one word to describe the frustration

I'm feeling -- aah!

This is your fault, Helpy.

If it is anyone's fault, it is yours.

It doesn't matter who's at fault.

The point is, I've had enough.

Great.

I'll just stay here and fulfill your responsibility.

♪♪

Aah! Help me!

Finally, a quest worth killing for!

Help me!

"Help"?

Where have I heard that word "help" before?

Hi. My name is Helpy.

Hello. How are you?

I'm Helpy.

Good morning, Tigtone. Nice to meet you.

How can I [Echoing] help?

A-ha! That's right!

Go ahead, Tigtone.

I understand. Aah!

♪♪

[ Grunting ]

Tigtone?

I have realized something.

I follow my heart through every quest,

and so every quest is an escort quest

because my heart escorts me.

♪♪

What I have just witnessed has truly moved me.

I know now what I must do.

Escort me, Tigtone.

Escort me to my responsibility, Tigtone.

♪♪

[ Bee buzzing ]

Be gone, bee.

[ Buzzing continues ]

Aah!

After a lifetime of searching,

I've found you.

Prepare to die, Father!

Ah!

I'm allergic --

allergic to beestings!

You made me a hideous freak!

You are a freak --

a freak of love, unique, beautiful,

and I love you from the tips of your wings

to the bottoms of your hooves.

[ Groans ] [ Crying ] No!

I wasted my one sting on pointless vengeance!

Forgive me!

[ Sobbing ]

Oh, no! We failed!

What will we do now, Tigtone?

[ Grunts ]

Ah, what are you doing?

Following my heart!

If the Fertile Centaur doesn't arrive

before the Staff of Time breaks...

we are doomed!

[ Horse whinnies ]

I have returned your precious Fertile Centaur.

♪♪

No, you have not.

That is not him!

[ Gasps ] Okay. He'll do.

Quickly, we must get to the magical lake

and procreate before the eclipse ends.

♪♪

As the 99 centaurs enter the fertile lake,

its magical waters wash over them

as their vital life essence mixes with that of the horse.

What a magnificent sight,

and as they slowly dissolve to death,

we wait for the next generation to be born.

♪♪

The newborn centaurs emerge.

Oh, no.

Thank you for saving our species.

Ah, the circle of life!

We have made hideous freaks, Tigtone!

No, you have made freaks of love!

Why did we take this awful escort quest?

I have to get out of here.

No, Helpy.

Let us stay a while

and bask in the majesty of nature.

Ugh.

[ Laughs ] Ooh! Oh!

Oh!

Whoo! Ah!

So good.

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

We are the same size.

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