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โชโช
This dinner's gonna be taking its sweet time, Tigtone.
Say, Tigtone,
why don't you grip me with a tale while we wait
of one of your adventures from before we met?
[ Chuckles ] Well, Helpy, uh...
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
-There was the time I... -Yes?
...unlocked that door.
A door?
[ Gasps ] Tell me more!
Tigtone: "Dear journal!
This door!
T'was unsealable only by nothing fewer
than the essences of the four Elemental Kings.
And I will collect them all
by any means essence-ary!"
โชโช
[ Both grunting ]
[ Crack ]
โชโช
[ Growls ]
Metal King: I am King of Elemental Metals,
and you cannot have my essence!
Prove it.
Aah!
[ Grunting ]
[ Laughs ]
โชโช
Aah!
[ Laughing ]
โชโช
Aah! No, not Tigtone.
Wow!
Nothing a little medium healing potion
can't heal me.
[ Both scream ]
No! No! No! No!
No! No! No!
No! No! No! No!
โชโช
It's the first of the Elemental King essences
that I'm collecting.
[ Chuckles ] You may have bested me,
but there are three more Elemental Kings beyond,
each one more deadlier than the last.
You are in for some trouble, Tigtone.
Good! Tigtone is my middle name.
[ Grunts ]
โชโช
Thank you for becoming a Shadowflame Torch
to better darken my path, Fire King and Shadow King.
It's our pleasure to give a tour.
-Turn left! -The cave began forming
about billions to billions and a half years ago...
-Turn right! -...in a manner similar
to many other caves.
-Turn right! -Except made by us.
Turn left! Go straight!
These kings sure sound like they know their stuff.
Great tour.
Fire King: Go straight.
[ Cackling ]
How clever, Blood King, hiding in a fire cave
instead of a blood cave.
Now give me your essence!
I'm not hiding! I live here.
I am betrothed to the Fire King and the Shadow King,
and you fell right into their tourist trap
so I can kill you.
[ Both chuckle ]
Surprise, Tigtone!
And now you know why I hate Elemental Kings, Helpy.
Aah!
No!
[ Laughs ]
โชโช
You murdered both my lovers.
Are you prepared to die?
Tigtone: Was I prepared to die?
I better check.
Aah! Let me help!
Helpy, Helpy, stop. No, no, no, no.
You're skipping almost the whole Blood King battle.
I need to see who won! [ Hisses ]
How fitting that you're about to be defeated by me,
because you are my enemy.
If I could just heal my wounds
with a medium healing potion,
then maybe I can escape.
Ew. Ew!
A scab?
Hang on, I-I need to pick at this.
[ Grunting ]
Hang on. Yes.
If medium healing potion
can cause the Blood King scabs of defeat,
then this calls for large healing potion!
[ Grunting ]
[ Shrieking ]
Healing into one big scab?
Me?
Better you than sorry, Scab King.
[ Wheezes ]
โชโช
Tigtone: "As the old saying goes,
I have collected two of the four elemental essences.
But little did I know, the Lightning King is next,
and he's only going to get nexter."
โชโช
What was it, Tigtone?
Some kind of an elemental tornado king?
Even worse -- a Wind King.
Hi, Tigtone!
I heard you needed the essence of the Lightning King
to unlock a door.
You should try a Wind King essence instead,
because people say it's better.
No, they don't.
Take me to Lightning King!
Fine.
Step into my babies.
[ Babies crying ]
Helpy: No hard feelings, Tornado King.
But I'm a Wind King!
[ Thunder crashing, electricity buzzing ]
โชโช
Foul and great Lightning King.
[ Sighs ] Look, Tigtone,
I'm obviously not in the mood for this, okay?
You can have my Lightning King essence, okay?
You just need an empty bottle.
Oh, yeah, tough guy?
Ha! I get it.
Catching lightning in a bottle.
He thought the same thing.
โชโช
[ Lightning King screaming ]
[ Groaning ]
โชโช
Uh, wait. What happened?
I couldn't tell with all that screaming.
Oh, sorry.
I'm stabbing the Lightning King, Helpy.
Ohh.
You seem to be inflicting a lot more excessive pain than usual.
[ Chuckles ] Yes, Helpy.
Elemental Kings feel no language other than excessive pain,
and, speaking of which,
only one Elemental King left.
[ Thunder crashes ]
โชโช
Hmm.
[ Inhales sharply ]
Hmm.
โชโช
It was a mystery!
What Elemental King could it possibly be?
Aah!
[ Gasping ]
M-More.
Please, more.
Hit me more.
-Uh... -Hit me.
Hit me.
[ Both grunt ]
Tigtone, I am the Pain King.
I exist wherever pain exists.
Hit me again. It's working.
Aah!
It's working.
[ Screaming ]
[ Shuddering ]
[ Continues screaming ]
Oh, Tigtone.
[ Both gasping ]
Yeah.
[ Screaming ] [ Moaning ]
Yes, hit me.
Oh.
[ Both panting ]
I wish I hadn't dumped out that last healing potion.
Oh, good work.
You earned a Pain King essence.
Here you go.
Goodbye.
[ Zap! ]
[ Click ] Goodbye again.
โชโช
I can't take this, Tigtone.
Tell me, what was on the other side?
You know, I never got around to actually entering it.
Let's go now.
Yes, right now.
โชโช
Whatever happens, Helpy.
[ Tigtone gasps ]
โชโช
I am an alien.
Aah!
โชโช
[ Tigtone screaming ]
โชโช
[ Screaming ]
[ Rumbling ]
[ Screaming ]
Aah! [ Panting ]
Tigtone!
[ Screaming stops ]
[ Screaming continues ]
[ Both breathing shakily ]
What happened?
No, Helpy.
What we witnessed through that door
was pure, unknowable,
infinite, cosmic terror!
And no one shall pass through that door again...
for free!
Come one, come all!
Experience pure, unknowable, infinite, cosmic terror.
Only one coin per peeper.
Step right up and pay up!
-[ Shrieking ] -Welcome to
Tigtone's Magick Door.
-[ Screaming ] -No need to shove.
You look like you could use a good brain numbing.
-[ Screaming ] -That's right, folks.
Children are only half a coin with adult admission.
You, there, you, there, step right up.
You'll be haunted by your visions for eternities to come.
Sorry, no Tornado Kings.
But I'm a Wind King.
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