Original subtitles

♪♪

[ Chicken clucks ]

♪♪

Tigtone: [ Thinking ] Dear Journal, I need more ink.

Eh?

[ Panting ]

What is that helpfully bizarre thing, I wonder?

[ Thinking ] "Anyway, Journal, about that cave..."

Aah!

I quest with none other than my own cunning,

strength, and name.

Tigtone!

[ Screams ]

♪♪

I returned the long jewel to the kingdom of Propecia

where it belongs, to KingQueen.

Both: Thank you, Tigtone.

Tigtone: And for that, they threw me a chicken dinner!

Everyone, shut up.

I'm going to inhale this chicken.

[ Both spit ]

This chicken has no soul.

We taste nothing in this meat.

Lore Mastra, explain.

According to this book...

Tasteless meat means

the legend of Wadsor is true.

Wadsor the Conquerator the Necromancer has returned!

I'm back!

Lore Mastra: He is using the souls of our chickens

to recharge his rock army.

Wadsor: My Repli-Rocks!

[ Cackles ]

His only weakness is to stab his brain.

Which he keeps locked deep within his lair.

But not a regular stab.

You must use the Reverse Dagger,

capable of stabbing the dead to life,

and the other way around.

What say you to that?

Is this a quest?

-Indeed. -Indeed, indeed.

Then I alone as always, by my lonesome,

shall take this single quest,

for this single questerer,

and bear down upon it by myself.

Well, then this is a good a quest

as any to make use of our fellowship.

And that fellowship is... Poach-Or.

Friend to most animals, hunter of the rest.

Axeanne.

I'm even bigger in person.

And Redundart.

An elf.

What part of "I fellowship alone" don't you understand?

None part.

Fast travels, Tigtone and friends.

♪ O journey nigh, come blith with my ♪

♪ O'er land and steam on flapping knees ♪

♪ When drip or sip is bundle quipped ♪

♪ Then travel hips will sway the thighs ♪

[ Thinking ] These heroes, Journal,

they don't even have journals.

And at this rate, we'll never get there on foot.

[ Snorts ]

Poach-Or, harness that Ride-ocerous

if you're such a great animal master.

I can try.

I didn't say try.

Come on.

Come to Poach-Or.

[ Roars ]

Come on.

Ugh.

Poach-Or will poach no more.

Remember, Tigtone, you have the Reverse Dagger.

Whoo! [ Laughs ]

Now that was really something.

Do it again!

Ohh!

It must only work once per dead person.

Then we must honor his last wish,

to ride that Ride-ocerous.

[ Grunts ]

♪ For ne'er a path can do no wrath -- ♪

-Stop! -Oh!

Axeanne: We are arrived at Wadsor's lair.

But the hidden door isn't on the map.

I'll show you how to use a map.

Ah.

Hmm.

We must make camp-camp here

while I think of a way to find the key.

[ Cackling ]

What?!

Then don't stand here flapping your ribs at me,

flap your swords at Tigtone!

[ Cackles ]

[ Thinking ] You're right, Journal,

something to take my mind

off this main quest for a while is what I need.

Tigtone, the well has been poisoned.

Save my sick twin sister from the bottom of it.

A side quest!

♪♪

Hyah!

♪♪

We need Tigtone!

[ Muffled shouting, clanging ]

Hiss, hiss.

That means "Thank you" where I come from, Tigtone.

Hiss, hiss.

♪♪

[ Gasps ] The key.

How do you kill that which is already bone?

The Reverse Dagger!

I'm alive! Thank you, Tigtone.

Ah, I'm alive! Ahh!

Hand over that key.

But what about Axeanne? You can stab her back to live.

I can only stab her back once, and I'd hate to waste it now.

♪♪

[ Pendulum Boss grunts ]

Ahh!

The pendulum is mightier than the sword-ulum, Tigtone!

[ Cackles ]

Redundart, use yourself as pendulum bait.

Because you'll bring me back with the Reverse Dagger,

should I die.

Your companion was a joke.

And now he's dead.

The joke is on you! I agree.

[ Groans ]

♪ My life be rife with biggle trife ♪

♪ And all about is naught but strife -- ♪

[ Muffled scream ]

Ah, finally, questing alone, as nature intended me.

Two pressure plates? Ugh.

Why didn't I bring more companions?

Remember, Tigtone, dungeons have prisoners,

and prisoners have body weight.

Use a prisoner.

Of course.

♪♪

[ Groans ]

This thing weighs enough to help me.

Please chop my arms and legs off.

-Oh... -Do it!

[ Both scream ]

Thank you, fellow stranger.

Are you not stung by that?

Of course, but I regenerate.

And because you helped me, I'll do that to you.

Help you, that is.

Let's go.

...and so Wadsor trapped me

and has been feeding off my life juices ever since.

Mm-hmm. Here we are.

Oh, we shall both stand on these pressure plates

to open the door.

You certainly do come in handy. I think I'll call you...Helpy.

But my name is --

Hyah!

Thank you, Helpy.

Wait!

I want him to know it was me.

My energy supply.

[ Gasps ] My energy supply creature.

Tigtone?!

Tigtone: Wadsor's fully charged Repli-Rocks.

[ Cackles ]

♪♪

[ Repli-Rocks clucking ]

Damn it.

[ Groans ]

Shh. You distract him while I stab his brain.

Right to his face.

Hey, Wadsor! I'm full of life juices.

Come and get me.

Wait for it...

Now!

[ Screams ]

No mortal blade can kill me.

I'm undead.

And I am no mortal blade.

And I am Tigtone!

[ Screams ]

Oh, so that's your name?

♪♪

Proudfully nodding at a job well done.

Me too, Tigtone.

Me Helpy.

King: And so to honor Tigtone for saving Propecia

from tastelessness, we throw this second chicken dinner.

The honor is all ours.

And this is Helpy.

I serve the Greater Good.

[ Laughs ] Cheers to whatever that is.

And to the Repli-Rocks, our new friends.

Lore Mastra: The legend goes on to say

they enjoy eating as much as we all do.

All thanks to Tigtone.

Thank you, Tigtone. -Huzzah!

[ Laughter ]

[ Thinking ] Dear Journal,

ah, yes, Helpy is who that thing is.

And thus fellowship is now in my inventory.

But worry not.

For I am still, as was before, as was always be...

Tigtone!

[ Muffled ] And Helpy.

♪♪

[ Explosions ]

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