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1
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Read this, geek.
2
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Has anyone else noticed all the
bullying going on around here?
3
00:00:04,404 --> 00:00:06,672
Jesus Christ, it's like
a Russian disco raid.
4
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,472
Check it out. Check it out.
Dashboard Confessional's
5
00:00:08,473 --> 00:00:10,276
- about to get it.
- Ohh!
6
00:00:10,277 --> 00:00:12,802
[BRITISH ACCENT] The southern
cassowary flaunts his bright plumage,
7
00:00:12,803 --> 00:00:14,994
but his bid for attention has backfired.
8
00:00:14,995 --> 00:00:17,883
His colorful locks have
attracted not a potential mate,
9
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:20,095
but a hungry predator.
10
00:00:21,268 --> 00:00:23,222
[NORMAL VOICE] What? I've been
bingeing "Earth Planet."
11
00:00:23,223 --> 00:00:25,158
Hey, did you guys know
that penguins are birds?
12
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,627
The new principal better
crack down on this garbage.
13
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,963
Sorry, Fairbell, but you let
bullying get way out of hand.
14
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:33,699
He's not Mussolini, all right?
It's called free speech, lady.
15
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:36,302
Exactly. You're just taking it
too personally, shit jeans.
16
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,904
Uh, yeah, I am taking it personally.
17
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:41,307
It's like you've forgotten
how awful bullying is.
18
00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:44,822
Um, no, I never knew. I was
un-bully-able in high school.
19
00:00:44,823 --> 00:00:46,179
Yeah, they called me Teflon Loren.
20
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,256
Bullies couldn't find an angle.
21
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,050
Where is the new principal?
22
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,585
I bet he's closer than you might...
23
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,720
Hey. Hi.
24
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,189
Quinn, you're principal again?
25
00:00:56,190 --> 00:01:01,360
That's right. I a-a-a-am back!
26
00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:04,930
What the hell is he doing?
27
00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:06,065
Yeah, I'm going in.
28
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,533
29
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,803
Quit wasting my time
30
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I ain't here for you
31
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I'm just putting in work
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Till my day is through
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- Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:24,083
And the Nash Commission
ruled that I did not receive
35
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,820
competent representation
from the law bros,
36
00:01:26,821 --> 00:01:30,289
so my conviction for
solicitation was a-thrown out.
37
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,158
I told you not to hire those idiots.
38
00:01:32,159 --> 00:01:36,362
And as usual, you were E Plurbis
Unim... Right on the money.
39
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:39,032
Hey, uh, Quinn, where'd they
send you up to this time, huh?
40
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:41,234
Florence Supermax? [CHUCKLES]
41
00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:43,169
Did you get to meet the shoe bomber?
42
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[LAUGHS] That is a fantastic joke,
43
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and I greatly admire
the bravery in your haircut.
44
00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:51,777
But anyways, I just want
to thank you guys.
45
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:54,647
I, uh... I think that Smoot High
is in pretty good shape,
46
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especially considering the, um...
47
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Well, just considering.
48
00:01:59,854 --> 00:02:02,188
However... A little disturbing news...
49
00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:03,322
Ms. Logan here has informed me
50
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:05,324
we might have a little bit
of a bullying problem.
51
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:06,860
Is that right? Yes, very correct.
52
00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:08,994
Oh, come on, Abbey. It's just
being... you're an alarmist.
53
00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:10,530
There is a bullying problem.
54
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[BRITISH ACCENT]
Full of surging hormones,
55
00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:16,736
the young baboons release their
pent-up rage upon one another.
56
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,804
Coach Fairbell,
you weren't making the kids
57
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fight each other, were you?
58
00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:22,141
[NORMAL VOICE] No, we had pack runs,
59
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,809
and I was the boss wolf.
60
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:27,747
Good, because I have
personally seen the damage
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00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,682
bullying can do
when it's left unchecked.
62
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,484
Sure, it starts as mild teasing.
63
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,619
Then that teasing becomes taunting.
64
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:36,021
But then it becomes physical bullying.
65
00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:40,293
Then after that, it turns
into... shower bullying...
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00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:45,565
Horrible... rhythmic... shower bullying.
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00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:48,234
- Geoffrey!
- Y-Yes. Okay. Yeah, right.
68
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:49,435
So what we're gonna do is
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00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:52,572
we're gonna attack
this thing at the root.
70
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,575
We are gonna create
Smoot high's first ever
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00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,643
Bullying Awareness Week.
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00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,845
Wait. Awareness Week?
That's all you're doing?
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00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,248
Abbey, nothing sells
a problem like awareness.
74
00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:04,650
And, honestly, I wish more
people were aware of that.
75
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,920
Now, who here wants to join
76
00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:10,189
the anti-bullying faculty committee?!
77
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:11,591
- No.
- No, I'm good.
78
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:12,858
I mean, I g... I guess I will.
79
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,195
Anyone here, other than Abbey,
interested in joining?
80
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,331
Okay, there we go. Outstanding.
81
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:21,066
Hey, somebody let bullying know
its days are numbered.
82
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,201
[SNICKERS]
83
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,937
See, now would anyone
want to prevent bullying
84
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:25,538
when it's so fun to watch?
85
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,206
Unless, of course, you're on
the receiving end of it,
86
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,875
which I never was.
87
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,610
Not once.
88
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:37,349
Brady. Present.
89
00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:42,421
Hey, where'd you get your shirt?
At a refugee camp?
90
00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:43,556
[LAUGHTER]
91
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,158
LUCAS: I heard you threw it
in the donation bin,
92
00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:47,026
and the bin threw it back.
93
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,733
- Ohh!
- [LAUGHS]
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00:03:48,735 --> 00:03:50,096
Nice. Solid teamwork.
95
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:53,967
Oh, although, Lucas,
your, uh, donation-bin burn
96
00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:56,502
kind of steps on the premise
of Tina's burn,
97
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:59,372
which is that Brady received
the shirt as a donation.
98
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:00,573
You see what I'm saying?
99
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,907
You might want to workshop
that a little bit.
100
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,376
Who wants to try one in Espa?ol?
101
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,511
Anybody? Yeah, Brett.
102
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,782
Brady shoves los burritos up his butt.
103
00:04:08,783 --> 00:04:12,718
- [LAUGHTER]
- Hey! No! No! No, sir!
104
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:14,320
You get out of my classroom
with that garbage.
105
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:16,121
- What?
- He doesn't shove things up his butt.
106
00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:18,123
- People don't do that. Get out!
- What?
107
00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:20,593
And why would you guys
laugh at that? You're sick.
108
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,662
- And you're the sickest.
- It was just a joke.
109
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:27,400
A student sodomizing themself
with los burritos is a j...
110
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,601
FAIRBELL: [BRITISH ACCENT]
Elephants in the wild
111
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,870
are known to possess uncanny memories
112
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,938
and often display emotional scars
113
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,420
from events long in their past.
114
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,211
Knock that shit off, Fairbell.
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00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:39,545
You march.
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00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:42,748
[NORMAL VOICE] If you're
not gonna finish that,
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00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,083
I'll buy it off ya.
118
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:47,753
Okay. Now, I know that
the button craftsmanship
119
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,288
leaves something to be desired,
120
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,357
but let's try to get these on
121
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:53,426
so the bullies can see awareness
122
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,695
- is spreading like a wildf...
- Mine broke.
123
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,430
Julie, it is a button, okay?
124
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,165
It's one of the easiest
things to put on.
125
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:00,566
- You take that metal stabbing thing...
- [SIGHS]
126
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,301
Sorry I'm late, but the button
guy tried to bully me
127
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,624
into paying the agreed-upon price.
128
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,707
Antibu?
129
00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,642
The exiled president of Sierra Leone?
130
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,244
No, it stands for "anti-bully."
131
00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:12,778
It's the name of our new movement.
132
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:14,047
We're more of an ad hoc committee
133
00:05:14,048 --> 00:05:15,648
than a movement, Abbey.
134
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,383
Well, you were right
about this bullying thing.
135
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:19,653
It's gotten way out of control.
Sit down.
136
00:05:19,654 --> 00:05:21,054
This kid is all yours,
137
00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:23,523
and feel free to go full
Abbey overboard on him, okay?
138
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:26,125
Well, now, I thought
you were anti-Antibu,
139
00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:28,194
which I guess would be pro-bu.
140
00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:29,595
Well, I guess I changed my mind.
141
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:32,732
It turns out not bullying
is the way to be.
142
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:34,467
You hear that, Brett?
It is the way to be.
143
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,335
You see, even Loren agrees
there's a problem,
144
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,337
and he is the biggest
asshole I've ever met.
145
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,139
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
146
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,585
- [MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]
- We need to stop this bullying
147
00:05:41,587 --> 00:05:43,209
problem once and for all.
148
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:47,346
Okay, I agree, but through
a slow and gradual process
149
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,415
with the incumbent checks and balances.
150
00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:53,553
No, Quinn. We need action. Now!
151
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:56,422
I nominate Abbey as Chair of Antibu.
152
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:59,157
Really? Seconds?
153
00:06:00,094 --> 00:06:02,896
I didn't realize that we had ratified
154
00:06:02,897 --> 00:06:05,831
a chairperson-nomination process.
155
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:08,834
I was literally the chairperson
for three minutes.
156
00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:11,304
Uh, but okay, if that's
what the committee wants.
157
00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:12,972
What's our first line of business?
158
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:16,910
Well, uh, getting rid of
these stupid buttons, right?
159
00:06:16,911 --> 00:06:19,245
Who made these, anyway?
160
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:21,247
I did.
161
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:24,250
So, then the US Government
comes in and says,
162
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,452
"I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Rosenberg,
163
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:28,788
but you're not entitled
to freedom of speech."
164
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:29,923
Sound familiar?
165
00:06:29,924 --> 00:06:31,791
It should because
we're kind of living...
166
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,859
Okay, uh, listen up, people.
167
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,461
I need Chad Gariazo,
168
00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:37,663
Ross Fillner, and Donald McNeely.
169
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,599
- Let's go. Up.
- Whoa, whoa. What's happening here?
170
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,066
Oh, official Antibu business.
171
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,536
These three just earned
themselves a week of suspension.
172
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:45,071
Whoa. For what?
173
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:48,074
Chad and Ross were overheard
making nanoagressions
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00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,943
against a sophomore drama student.
175
00:06:49,944 --> 00:06:51,611
Well, w-what did I do?
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00:06:51,612 --> 00:06:54,147
Nothing yet, but you're listed
as a high risk to offend.
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00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:56,482
Whoa. So we're... so we're now
punishing these kids
178
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:58,417
for things they haven't even done?
179
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,419
Look at Donnie's profile.
180
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,621
I mean, wrestling team, remedial math,
181
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,022
plus his parents recently divorced.
182
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,890
- He's a ticking time bomb.
- They're not divorced.
183
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,559
They're just, you know,
living apart for a little while.
184
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,028
Oh, yeah? Keep telling that
to yourself, bully.
185
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:12,799
Wait, Abbey, real quick,
uh, George Orwell called.
186
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:17,303
- Yeah? What'd he say?
- He said you suck. S-Slam.
187
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,972
Okay, bullies, let's go.
188
00:07:18,973 --> 00:07:21,574
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Stop. All of you, sit.
189
00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,843
You're not gonna come
into my classroom and...
190
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:26,045
And infringe upon their
First Amendment rights.
191
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,247
No. You're all gonna go out,
192
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,383
and you're gonna tell
everybody in this school
193
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:33,319
that no bully shall
fear persecution here.
194
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,656
You tell them that room
401 is a safe haven.
195
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:37,991
Fine. Fine.
196
00:07:37,992 --> 00:07:39,925
As long as they don't
bother the good kids.
197
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:42,528
Abbey, these are the good kids, okay?
198
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:44,730
Maybe they just need
a little compassion,
199
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:48,401
a little moral guidance, ya nutcase.
200
00:07:48,402 --> 00:07:50,536
- What?
- Um, what about us?
201
00:07:50,537 --> 00:07:51,737
Yeah, you should get out of here.
202
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,339
You nerds aren't safe here, okay?
203
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,208
Yeah, none of you are safe in 401.
204
00:07:55,209 --> 00:07:56,852
Get out. Get out, get out, get out.
205
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,079
Our hero returns.
206
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:05,084
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm your hero?
207
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:07,753
Yeah, you're the first teacher
to actually stick up for us.
208
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:09,689
Oh, no, that wasn't about you guys.
209
00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,424
Hey, where did all the cool jocks go?
210
00:08:11,425 --> 00:08:14,227
You mean those oafish brutes?
211
00:08:14,228 --> 00:08:15,895
They've been herded
into Mr. Shoemaker's room,
212
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:19,165
where they can bother us
intellectuals no more.
213
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,301
So many things about
Castilian conjugation
214
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,037
I've always wanted to learn.
215
00:08:24,038 --> 00:08:25,705
I've just... I've been afraid to ask.
216
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:28,641
You are finally free
to teach, kind sir. Ah.
217
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:31,244
And we are finally free to learn. Hm.
218
00:08:31,245 --> 00:08:33,446
Teach, teach, teach,
219
00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:36,315
[STUDENTS CHANTING "TEACH"]
220
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,450
We're chanting.
221
00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:39,885
[CHANTING CONTINUES] Ugh.
222
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:44,791
FAIRBELL: [BRITISH ACCENT]
In the absence of predators,
223
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,593
the prey are thriving,
224
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,995
proud to display their true colors
225
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:51,921
and follow their natural instincts.
226
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,067
You absolutely should've been
told about those deadlines.
227
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,604
Oh, I hope
I'm not interrupting anything.
228
00:08:57,605 --> 00:09:00,539
Oh, actually, Zach here was just
telling me about the ACTs.
229
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,075
What? [LAUGHS] Zach, that is great.
230
00:09:02,076 --> 00:09:04,210
Well, bye-bye. Got to get to class.
231
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:07,013
Okay. Now, we have never been
formally introduced.
232
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:11,951
My name is Geoffrey Quinn, and
I am the returning principal.
233
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,219
[CHUCKLES]
234
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,288
Stephen Sweeney.
I'm so glad you're here.
235
00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:17,624
That Fairbell guy
was in way over his head.
236
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:20,359
He let these three jackasses
convince him it was Arbor Week.
237
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,560
[BOTH LAUGH]
238
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,897
Oh, God. I fell for that
same gag my rookie year.
239
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:27,900
Ah, aren't they fun?
I call them The Gang.
240
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,169
I'm sort of an auxiliary member myself.
241
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,105
But enough about them.
We can chat about that later.
242
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,841
I'm actually here to, uh, bend your ear
243
00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:38,311
about some personal issues.
244
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:40,447
Yeah.
245
00:09:40,448 --> 00:09:42,649
Is that the couch
over there, Herr Freud?
246
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,317
[CHUCKLES]
247
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,119
Oh, no, I'm not actually a therapist.
248
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,255
Oh, well, the sign says "Stephen
Sweeney, Guidance Counselor."
249
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:53,033
So how about some guidance, counselor?
250
00:09:54,128 --> 00:09:56,329
Kind of a tight couch here.
251
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:59,332
- That's because it's a chair.
- Sit all the way down here.
252
00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:01,000
Kind of shuffle...
253
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:03,870
Oh, God.
254
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:06,139
It smells like a funeral home
in here, you guys.
255
00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:09,008
Mm, yes. That would be
my scalp medication.
256
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,810
It's finally safe to apply the
full-strength ointment in class,
257
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,546
thanks to you, my liege. Hm?
258
00:10:13,547 --> 00:10:14,747
Ugh.
259
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,216
Ah. Tres huras para nuestro maestro!
260
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,352
- Don't.
- Hurrah, hurrah!
261
00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:22,955
[STUDENTS CHANTING "TEACH"]
Come on, guys. God damn it.
262
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,290
QUINN: And after that day,
263
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,760
Dirty Royce just kept
taking my pancakes...
264
00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:30,497
every morning.
265
00:10:30,498 --> 00:10:34,786
That's probably why I let Abbey
just come in and bulldoze me.
266
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:39,706
Be honest, doc.
Did I come back too soon?
267
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:43,109
Well, again, not a doctor at all.
268
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,244
But you got to assert yourself.
269
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,580
I mean, the principal's
the head of the school,
270
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:49,648
and Abbey has to understand
that she can't relegate you
271
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,850
to a subordinate position.
272
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,852
By Josh, you're right.
273
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,522
I'm going to assert myself,
just like you told me to do.
274
00:10:55,523 --> 00:10:58,157
Thank you, Dr. Sweeney. [CHUCKLES]
275
00:11:00,328 --> 00:11:02,128
ABBEY: I saw it happen. You did nothing.
276
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,797
She gave Alice her chips.
How is that bullying?
277
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:08,000
That's body shaming.
That's how girls bully.
278
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,336
Uh, Ms. Logan, can I check these out?
279
00:11:09,337 --> 00:11:10,669
I'm sorry. Do you mind?
280
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,938
We're in the middle
of an Antibu meeting.
281
00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:14,541
Ugh. When did this become
nerd central station?
282
00:11:14,542 --> 00:11:16,275
[CHUCKLES]
283
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,144
I really think you're wrong
about those girls, Abbey.
284
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:20,146
Well, you know what I think, Julie?
285
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,549
I think you're too dumb
to recognize bullying
286
00:11:22,550 --> 00:11:23,883
when you see it.
287
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:26,152
All those in favor of
kicking Julie out of Antibu,
288
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:27,856
raise their hands.
289
00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:30,557
Um, hello?
290
00:11:30,558 --> 00:11:32,225
Okay. That's what I thought.
291
00:11:32,226 --> 00:11:34,627
- Buh-bye.
- [GASPS]
292
00:11:34,628 --> 00:11:37,496
Oh, here's some chips
for the road, fatty.
293
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,899
[CRYING]
294
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,834
Abbey, what was that all about?
295
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,836
Julie wasn't Antibu material.
296
00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:46,705
This is a club for people
who want to stop bullying,
297
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:50,109
not for some crybaby losers
who suck at promoting kindness.
298
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,578
Okay, whoa.
299
00:11:51,579 --> 00:11:54,247
I think you are forgetting what
this is supposed to be about.
300
00:11:54,248 --> 00:11:57,183
First off, it's not a club.
It's a committee.
301
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:59,452
Okay, well, thanks for
the definition, Mr. Webster.
302
00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:01,654
- [LAUGHTER]
- That's not funny.
303
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:05,992
And, secondly, I was supposed to
be the head of this committee,
304
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:08,661
but then you came in, and you took over.
305
00:12:08,662 --> 00:12:10,263
You Dirty Royced me, Abbey.
306
00:12:10,264 --> 00:12:11,998
Yeah, that's because we needed somebody
307
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,666
with the balls to stop bullying,
308
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:15,401
and that was not gonna
be you, Fruit Loop.
309
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,470
Okay, right there.
Calling me "Fruit Loop."
310
00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:19,606
Many could construe that
as a form of bullying.
311
00:12:19,607 --> 00:12:21,207
You know, Antibu is for teachers only,
312
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,276
and you're an administrator,
so you can leave.
313
00:12:23,277 --> 00:12:24,611
Abbey, you're not a teacher, either.
314
00:12:24,612 --> 00:12:26,479
All those in favor of kicking Quinn
315
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,014
out of Antibu, raise their hands.
316
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,548
- No, no, no, no.
- Okay, you're done.
317
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:32,285
Uh, why don't you have
any buttons I can pull off?
318
00:12:32,286 --> 00:12:35,622
[CRYING] Because you made me
throw them all away.
319
00:12:35,623 --> 00:12:38,491
Don't forget your chips, tubs.
320
00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:40,458
- [CRYING]
- B-b-b-b-bye.
321
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:42,762
FAIRBELL: [BRITISH ACCENT]
Sensing weakness,
322
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:45,231
the female red wolf
will do anything to maintain
323
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,434
her alpha status within the pack,
324
00:12:47,435 --> 00:12:50,569
even going so far as
to attack former allies.
325
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:53,440
Fairbell, I'm gonna put you
on a super-secret
326
00:12:53,441 --> 00:12:54,907
Antibu task force
327
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,243
where you don't hang out
with anyone from Antibu
328
00:12:57,244 --> 00:12:59,646
or tell anyone you're in Antibu.
329
00:12:59,647 --> 00:13:02,358
[NORMAL VOICE] Sounds like
deep black throat ops.
330
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:06,853
- Okay, go.
- Oh, right. Do I get chips?
331
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,587
Sorry, there's not enough.
332
00:13:11,325 --> 00:13:14,127
Oh, looks good. Now get yourself one.
333
00:13:14,128 --> 00:13:15,462
That's very good, Tina.
334
00:13:15,463 --> 00:13:17,664
You know, y-you give a man
a fish, he'll eat for a day,
335
00:13:17,665 --> 00:13:20,599
but you teach a man to protect his fish,
336
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,801
and he'll eat for like
a few more days or something.
337
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,003
I don't remember how it goes.
338
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:25,472
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
339
00:13:25,473 --> 00:13:27,474
What's the password?
Man, fuck your password.
340
00:13:27,475 --> 00:13:29,408
That's it. Correct. Have a seat.
341
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:30,609
- What's your name?
- Mitch.
342
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:33,612
Everyone, let's give a warm
401 welcome to Mitch.
343
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,549
Hi, Mitch... the Bitch.
344
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:39,886
- [LAUGHTER]
- Ohh! Whoo!
345
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,420
[STUDENTS CHANTING "BITCH"]
346
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:43,156
- Because it rhymes.
- Really?
347
00:13:43,157 --> 00:13:44,557
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
348
00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:46,425
I think you're in the wrong room there.
349
00:13:46,426 --> 00:13:47,960
No, I'm a cyber bully.
350
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:49,295
- Whoa!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
351
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:52,899
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
352
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,702
- Okay. All right.
- Hey, nice throwing, dickwad.
353
00:13:55,703 --> 00:13:58,304
What'd you say, Mitch the Bitch?
354
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,173
- Oh, you heard me right.
- Oh, yeah?
355
00:14:00,174 --> 00:14:01,640
- With your weak-ass hairline.
- Say it again.
356
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,910
Okay, everyone, just calm down. No, no.
357
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,244
I wish you would.
358
00:14:05,245 --> 00:14:07,313
Hey! Hey!
359
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:09,916
Okay, everybody, calm down.
360
00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:11,784
We're not fighting against each other.
361
00:14:11,785 --> 00:14:14,120
Remember, we're...
We're supposed to be united
362
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:17,256
against our common enemy,
which is persecution.
363
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:18,725
- You're next, asshole.
- Yeah.
364
00:14:18,726 --> 00:14:20,393
Hey, hey, hey, take it easy.
365
00:14:20,394 --> 00:14:22,395
You can't call me asshole.
I'm, uh, still a...
366
00:14:22,396 --> 00:14:24,597
Let's put those tattoos on his butt.
367
00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:25,998
Ah, let's shave his head.
368
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:29,568
- You're stupid.
- They're getting stronger.
369
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:35,608
Well, that didn't even work at all.
370
00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:37,610
They all just laughed at me.
371
00:14:37,611 --> 00:14:39,612
Why is she so mean?
372
00:14:39,613 --> 00:14:42,681
Okay, my job is to help students,
373
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,351
not emotionally fragile administrators.
374
00:14:44,352 --> 00:14:47,554
Oh. So now we're just gonna
talk about your problems.
375
00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:50,023
You know what? Helping students
isn't a problem.
376
00:14:50,024 --> 00:14:51,358
It's what I'm here to do.
377
00:14:51,359 --> 00:14:53,360
As a matter of fact, ever since
that bullying crackdown...
378
00:14:53,361 --> 00:14:55,962
- Awareness.
- Right.
379
00:14:55,963 --> 00:14:57,496
Well, in the last two days,
380
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,365
I've had more students
come into my office
381
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:02,701
asking me about college
than in the last month.
382
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,771
It's like there's been
an intellectual awakening
383
00:15:04,772 --> 00:15:06,064
here at Smoot.
384
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:11,377
Is there any chance
we could maybe turn this
385
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,312
back to the client, please?
386
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:16,449
- Wow.
- Look, once again, I am not the...
387
00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:19,986
Oh. I'm sorry, Geoffrey.
That's our time. What?
388
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,921
But I think we've made
really good progress
389
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:26,058
towards you solving
your own problems... by yourself.
390
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:31,064
Yes. You're exactly right.
I need to just help myself.
391
00:15:31,065 --> 00:15:35,125
Dr. S., you are a genius.
You're worth every penny...
392
00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:38,137
if I were paying you.
393
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,339
Just to be clear, I am not paying you.
394
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,340
Okay.
395
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:48,014
In which case,
it would be "ustedes," okay?
396
00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:49,215
Done.
397
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:52,151
But, you know, it would be "vosotros,"
398
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:54,687
if the conversation were
taking place in Spain, right?
399
00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:59,292
- Yes. "Vosotros" in Spain. Duh.
- Not in the Southwest regions.
400
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:01,894
You know, clearly.
Why is that, Mr. Payton?
401
00:16:01,895 --> 00:16:03,296
Why is what?
402
00:16:03,297 --> 00:16:05,698
Why don't they use impersonal
second-person pronouns
403
00:16:05,699 --> 00:16:07,233
in the Southwest region of Spain?
404
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:08,435
I don't know, Brady.
405
00:16:08,436 --> 00:16:11,504
Because of Franco
and the Civil War, okay?
406
00:16:11,505 --> 00:16:13,706
Can we have a quiz on
the morphological history
407
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:15,574
of Andalusian Spanish tomorrow?
408
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,445
- Please?
- What? No. I am teached out.
409
00:16:18,446 --> 00:16:20,447
Can we just watch a few episodes
of "Lopez" or something?
410
00:16:20,448 --> 00:16:22,181
- Please?
- Nonsense.
411
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,250
You're the best teacher
in the whole school,
412
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:27,654
which is why we named
our new D&D wizard after you.
413
00:16:27,655 --> 00:16:29,448
- Come on.
- Ready?
414
00:16:30,524 --> 00:16:32,125
Payton the Satyr.
415
00:16:32,126 --> 00:16:33,793
No. No, thank you. Please.
416
00:16:33,794 --> 00:16:35,662
Maxima intelligencia linguista.
417
00:16:35,663 --> 00:16:38,731
God, can we please dial back
the nerd shit?
418
00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:40,867
But we thought you were one of us...
419
00:16:40,868 --> 00:16:42,268
A gentleman and a scholar.
420
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:45,338
What? Guys, I am
into dope-boy shit, okay?
421
00:16:45,339 --> 00:16:47,474
The only reason I even kicked
Brett out in the first place
422
00:16:47,475 --> 00:16:50,143
is because he accused Brady
of shoving burritos up his ass,
423
00:16:50,144 --> 00:16:53,563
and, believe it or not,
I was once a... once a...
424
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,949
victim of a similarly vicious rumor.
425
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:59,352
[STUDENTS GASP]
426
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:01,051
What was it?
427
00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:05,158
Mr. Payton, you can tell us.
This is a safe space.
428
00:17:05,159 --> 00:17:06,475
Yeah?
429
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:12,866
A few kids accused me of shoving
a frozen hot dog up my butt once
430
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:16,235
and started calling me "Ball Park."
431
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:19,105
It sucked. It was the worst
month of my entire life.
432
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:20,907
Luckily, this new dork, Melvin Tarkle,
433
00:17:20,908 --> 00:17:22,175
transferred in around the time.
434
00:17:22,176 --> 00:17:24,511
I was able to shift the heat onto him,
435
00:17:24,512 --> 00:17:27,246
get back to focusing
exclusively on dope-boy shit.
436
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:31,650
Well, we accept you, Sage Orc Ball Park.
437
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,321
- Stop saying "Ball Park."
- Everyone. "Ball Park."
438
00:17:34,322 --> 00:17:35,922
- [STUDENTS CHANTING "BALL PARK"]
- No, don't say...
439
00:17:35,923 --> 00:17:39,592
Guys, no. No, no, don't say that.
440
00:17:39,593 --> 00:17:41,360
- [CHANTING CONTINUES]
- Stop saying Ball Park.
441
00:17:45,199 --> 00:17:46,533
I can't get on the damn WiFi
442
00:17:46,534 --> 00:17:48,334
because these nerds
are doing the "Minecraft,"
443
00:17:48,335 --> 00:17:50,469
the "WarCraft,"
or some kind of damn craft.
444
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,071
They're doing assignments on spec
445
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,272
and then demanding that I grade them.
446
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,607
They're out of control.
447
00:17:54,608 --> 00:17:56,209
Oh, so you're back to being pro-bu?
448
00:17:56,210 --> 00:17:59,078
I have great reasons
for both flip-flops, okay?
449
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:02,882
Sorry to say, guys, but sounds
like Smoot has a nerd problem.
450
00:18:02,883 --> 00:18:05,618
Antibu deals with bully problems.
451
00:18:05,619 --> 00:18:08,087
And thanks to me, we don't have one.
452
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:10,423
That is precisely right.
453
00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:12,759
And since we no longer have any bullies,
454
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:15,027
we no longer have a need for Antibu.
455
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:18,364
So, Abbey, I will be
relieving you of your duty.
456
00:18:18,365 --> 00:18:20,499
Oh, you think you don't need me?
457
00:18:20,500 --> 00:18:22,435
You losers couldn't find your way...
458
00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:26,439
You are a bully!
You are a power-mad bully!
459
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,776
Everyone knows it!
You know it deep inside!
460
00:18:29,777 --> 00:18:31,110
I'm in charge!
461
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:33,246
And I am putting you in your place!
462
00:18:33,247 --> 00:18:35,714
Asserting! Asserting!
463
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,784
Give me back my pancakes!
464
00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:39,986
Okay. Okay, Quinn. God.
465
00:18:39,987 --> 00:18:42,321
Okay, all right. Good.
466
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,791
Now let's focus on the nerd problem.
467
00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:48,527
They also keep reminding me
that I put a hot dog up for...
468
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:51,598
auction on eBay. And why would
they even say that?
469
00:18:51,599 --> 00:18:53,399
It's not even believable, if you ask me.
470
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,401
Ms. Logan, I-I lost control
of the microfiche machine
471
00:18:55,402 --> 00:18:56,735
- and sliced my finger.
- I'm sorry.
472
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,860
I-I-I don't care. Just...
473
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:04,580
Hate to say it, but I think
I did too good of a job.
474
00:19:05,879 --> 00:19:06,879
Yeah.
475
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,015
Hey, you still selling that hot dog?
476
00:19:09,016 --> 00:19:11,618
Happen to be in the market
for 10 to 12 inches of tube meat
477
00:19:11,619 --> 00:19:13,152
right in the snack box.
478
00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,687
That's how you want
to say that, Fairbell?
479
00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:16,755
You want to... You want to
take another crack at that?
480
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,024
Good catch.
481
00:19:18,025 --> 00:19:20,827
I'm looking for a pork push pop
for the old slippery "O."
482
00:19:20,828 --> 00:19:22,228
I don't even know what to do with that.
483
00:19:22,229 --> 00:19:23,696
I don't know how to make it any clearer.
484
00:19:23,697 --> 00:19:25,964
Looking for a food penis
for the face butt.
485
00:19:30,704 --> 00:19:34,707
- Geez.
- Hey... guys.
486
00:19:34,708 --> 00:19:36,375
Can I help you with something?
487
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,510
I want to apologize.
488
00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:39,979
I stepped out of line, and I'm sorry.
489
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:41,380
We need the bullies back.
490
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:45,812
Well, well, well,
look how the tables
491
00:19:45,814 --> 00:19:47,454
have turned.
492
00:19:47,455 --> 00:19:48,855
Antibu is no more.
493
00:19:48,856 --> 00:19:51,257
Your bullies are welcome
back with full amnesty.
494
00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,726
Look, Shoemaker, the nerds
are getting stronger.
495
00:19:53,727 --> 00:19:54,794
Or weaker. I don't know.
496
00:19:54,795 --> 00:19:56,129
They're just making me work harder.
497
00:19:56,130 --> 00:20:00,133
Wow. So the jack boot
is on the other foot, eh?
498
00:20:00,134 --> 00:20:03,402
Hmm. Kind of odd how you
desperately need
499
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,071
Shoemaker and his bullies.
500
00:20:05,072 --> 00:20:07,740
No, no one needs you,
Shoemaker. Just the bullies.
501
00:20:07,741 --> 00:20:11,744
Because I seem to recall, you
know, all the dehumanization.
502
00:20:11,745 --> 00:20:13,612
You know what, I apologized already.
503
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,281
You don't have to be so smug about it.
504
00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:16,749
Never mind. We'll figure
something else out.
505
00:20:16,750 --> 00:20:18,417
- Thanks for nothing.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
506
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:22,555
Wait, wait, stop, stop.
Okay, I'm not being smug.
507
00:20:22,556 --> 00:20:24,757
- [GASPS]
- They tied my ponytail to my underwear.
508
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,959
- Good God.
- I can't nod my head.
509
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,029
Yeah, if I do, I'm afraid
I'm gonna do some real damage.
510
00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:33,299
It's out of control. They're monsters.
511
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:36,569
You see what I mean?
They turned into apex bullies!
512
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:38,104
Oh, my God.
513
00:20:38,105 --> 00:20:40,239
Everyone knows this is
Shoemaker's fault, not mine.
514
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,241
- What? Well, you started it.
- It's definitely not my fault.
515
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,043
I never shoved a hot dog up my butt.
516
00:20:44,044 --> 00:20:45,644
Hot dog?
517
00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:47,246
[BRITISH ACCENT]
A gradual re-introduction
518
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:50,049
of the isolated species
may be the only hope
519
00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:52,451
of repairing this fragile ecosystem.
520
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:56,523
Okay, what is going here?
Did he hit his head again?
521
00:20:56,524 --> 00:20:59,192
- Yeah, probably.
- Got a spot on your shirt.
522
00:20:59,193 --> 00:21:01,193
- Aah. Ow. Ow. Aah.
- Nice.
523
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,933
Yep. No, it checks out.
524
00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:09,536
Yeah, so, if Mr. Payton
approves of our new system,
525
00:21:09,537 --> 00:21:12,671
we should be able to get through
all three canonical translations
526
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:15,007
of "Don Quixote" by Veteran's Day.
527
00:21:15,008 --> 00:21:16,775
Spanish Veteran's Day.
528
00:21:17,878 --> 00:21:18,878
Hmm.
529
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:22,949
What's this?
530
00:21:22,950 --> 00:21:25,796
The formula for measuring
your tiny, little dick?
531
00:21:26,887 --> 00:21:28,955
My God, it's like he never left.
532
00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:33,826
Hey, uh, Mr. Payton, what's
Spanish for "elf stomp"?
533
00:21:33,827 --> 00:21:36,162
We'll look it up, son.
We will look it up.
534
00:21:36,163 --> 00:21:39,832
I'm gonna go get these rare Tokaji cards
535
00:21:39,833 --> 00:21:42,301
to the safe space that is my locker.
536
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,571
I think that's a good idea, Brady.
537
00:21:44,572 --> 00:21:47,774
Hmm. I'm not feeling so comfortable
in this shirt all of a sudden.
538
00:21:47,775 --> 00:21:49,175
I think I'm just gonna run
to the gentlemen's room
539
00:21:49,176 --> 00:21:50,509
to t-turn it inside-out.
540
00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:53,712
- Sounds good.
- I big you all adieu.
541
00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:56,449
Ugh. That's right, class.
542
00:21:56,450 --> 00:21:58,585
That horrible little experiment is over.
543
00:21:58,586 --> 00:22:00,186
Starting tomorrow,
544
00:22:00,187 --> 00:22:02,121
things are gonna get back
to normal around here.
545
00:22:02,122 --> 00:22:04,991
But as for now, I want everybody
out of my classroom right now.
546
00:22:04,992 --> 00:22:07,193
Right now. Get the hell
out of my classroom.
547
00:22:07,194 --> 00:22:09,596
Let's go. Move it, you guys.
548
00:22:09,597 --> 00:22:12,465
Release the bullies!
549
00:22:12,466 --> 00:22:18,466
550
00:22:19,339 --> 00:22:23,743
They're moving in herds.
They do move in herds.
551
00:22:23,744 --> 00:22:26,946
When meddling with nature makes
their own lives unbearable,
552
00:22:26,947 --> 00:22:29,215
human beings abandon all pretense
553
00:22:29,216 --> 00:22:31,484
of improving their habitat and resort
554
00:22:31,485 --> 00:22:33,820
to their most primitive instinct...
555
00:22:33,821 --> 00:22:35,888
Unbelievable selfishness.
556
00:22:35,889 --> 00:22:38,557
How many episodes of "Earth
Planet" do you have left?
557
00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:40,093
- [NORMAL VOICE] Just one.
- Thank God.
558
00:22:40,094 --> 00:22:42,695
- Then I'm on to season two.
- No.
559
00:22:42,696 --> 00:22:45,097
- Through six... teen.
- I can't do that. No.
560
00:22:45,098 --> 00:22:46,433
They made a bunch of them.
561
00:22:46,434 --> 00:22:49,235
I'm starting to think
this Earth place is pretty big.
562
00:22:49,236 --> 00:22:50,970
- Bigger than Denver.
- Hey, hey, wait.
563
00:22:50,971 --> 00:22:53,372
Somebody cut my ponytail free, please?
564
00:22:58,211 --> 00:23:01,748
Growing up, I was always afraid
of setting my dad off.
565
00:23:01,749 --> 00:23:04,817
Maybe that's why I allow people
to treat me like crap.
566
00:23:04,818 --> 00:23:08,647
God, that's messed up, right?
Are you even listening?
567
00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:11,491
Quinn says you're such a great shrink.
568
00:23:11,492 --> 00:23:13,293
I'm not... Hey, man,
are you telling people...
569
00:23:13,294 --> 00:23:15,295
Everybody, I want to thank you all
570
00:23:15,296 --> 00:23:18,298
for a fantastic Bully Awareness Week.
571
00:23:18,299 --> 00:23:21,968
We raised awareness of just
how important bullies truly are.
572
00:23:21,969 --> 00:23:24,036
Is that what we were trying to do?
573
00:23:24,037 --> 00:23:25,705
We were trying to raise awareness, yes.
574
00:23:25,706 --> 00:23:26,973
And we did that.
575
00:23:26,974 --> 00:23:29,907
So maybe let me have this one, Tam-Tam.
576
00:23:30,644 --> 00:23:32,578
Sorry about your rat tail, bro.
577
00:23:32,579 --> 00:23:33,780
No. Thanks.
578
00:23:33,781 --> 00:23:36,048
Yeah, it belongs to the Earth now.
579
00:23:36,049 --> 00:23:39,119
And by "Earth," I mean Brett.
Yeah, that all sucked.
580
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:42,054
Although, I suppose I learned
that nerds are kind of like
581
00:23:42,055 --> 00:23:43,790
a Bronco's girlfriend at a night club.
582
00:23:43,791 --> 00:23:45,125
No matter how noble your intentions,
583
00:23:45,126 --> 00:23:47,527
it's best not to get too close.
584
00:23:47,528 --> 00:23:49,329
And I learned that I tend
to get out of hand
585
00:23:49,330 --> 00:23:51,531
when not given enough authority,
586
00:23:51,532 --> 00:23:54,066
and that kids used to call
Loren "Ball Park,"
587
00:23:54,067 --> 00:23:56,268
- which is amazing.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
588
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:57,870
Are you ki... I trusted those nerds.
589
00:23:57,871 --> 00:24:00,340
Yeah, and then you
totally betrayed them.
590
00:24:00,341 --> 00:24:01,540
Yeah, that checks out.
591
00:24:06,747 --> 00:24:07,945
[GRUNTS]
592
00:24:09,918 --> 00:24:11,484
Uh, excuse you.
593
00:24:11,485 --> 00:24:13,219
You Ball Park Payton?
594
00:24:13,220 --> 00:24:15,155
[SCOFFS] Who wants to know?
595
00:24:15,156 --> 00:24:16,756
I'm Mel Tarkle.
596
00:24:16,757 --> 00:24:17,888
Melvin?
597
00:24:18,492 --> 00:24:22,461
- God, you look much stronger.
- Get out of the car.
598
00:24:24,365 --> 00:24:26,966
[CRYING] But I don't want to
get out of the car.
599
00:24:26,967 --> 00:24:30,770
I'm just gonna go.
No, Melvin! No! No, Melvin!
600
00:24:30,771 --> 00:24:32,904
It was about survival!
601
00:24:32,954 --> 00:24:37,504
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