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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,006 --> 00:00:01,935 Geoffrey Quinn, you're under arrest 2 00:00:01,936 --> 00:00:03,669 for soliciting a prostitute. 3 00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:06,205 My girlfriend is a prostitute. 4 00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:07,407 Will you marry me? 5 00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:09,295 - Yes, yes. - Yes? 6 00:00:09,296 --> 00:00:11,544 ABBEY: I'm gonna spend some time on Abbey. 7 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:14,280 Well, it's as good a time as any to fake my own death. 8 00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:16,015 9 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:19,352 The next mayor of our great city... 10 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,887 - Hi, I'm Gil Nash. - That dude is a monster. 11 00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,889 He wants to tax a woman's menstrual cycle. 12 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:25,619 Then after Captain Dipshit 13 00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:27,961 - runs Smoot into the ground... - [CHUCKLES] 14 00:00:27,962 --> 00:00:32,431 You get your corner unit. I get my condo. 15 00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:33,566 The mayor just called me. 16 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,701 He just made me the new principal. 17 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,570 - [SPITS] - What? 18 00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:40,306 [SIRENS WAILING, ALARMS BLARING] 19 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:43,777 [PANTING] 20 00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:47,246 Hello? Anybody? 21 00:00:47,247 --> 00:00:48,914 I'm not gonna make it. 22 00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,716 He's not gonna make it. He is gonna make it. 23 00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,318 No, he's not. He has to. 24 00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:57,523 25 00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:58,724 I'm dead. 26 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,326 Why does he have to be a hero? 27 00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:01,927 How can this be happening? 28 00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:03,463 - Come on, Fairbell! - Come back to us, Fairbell! 29 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:04,464 - He's not coming. - Come out, little buddy! 30 00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:05,731 He's not coming. Who are we kidding?! 31 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:06,800 Come on, little buddy. 32 00:01:06,801 --> 00:01:08,601 [PANTING] 33 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:11,004 4 minutes and 31 seconds! 34 00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:13,939 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 35 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:17,910 [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING] 36 00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:28,888 Uh, Principal Fairbell? 37 00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:32,227 Uh, Coach Principal Fairbell. 38 00:01:32,228 --> 00:01:34,694 Who are all these people? We didn't call any medics. 39 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,697 That's our drama club. They're crisis acting. 40 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:38,998 [CHUCKLES] 41 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,567 All right, look, 42 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:44,170 I'm glad you're doing all of these fire-safety drills, 43 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:47,106 but I think you nailed it after the first three times. 44 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,843 But this time the floor was lava, 45 00:01:49,844 --> 00:01:51,845 just in case a volcano erupts. 46 00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:54,047 - [EXHALES SHARPLY] - Now, if you'll all excuse me, 47 00:01:54,048 --> 00:01:56,814 there's something I've been meaning to do. 48 00:01:56,815 --> 00:01:57,851 - Oh. - Oh! 49 00:01:57,852 --> 00:01:59,318 50 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,587 Quit wasting my time 51 00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:04,190 I ain't here for you 52 00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:06,392 I'm just putting in work 53 00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:10,413 Till my day is through 54 00:02:10,414 --> 00:02:11,931 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 55 00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:14,200 [MUFFLED] It is so cool of Fairbell 56 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:16,736 to just drive around the city after work 57 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,204 and pick all this food up. 58 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:20,673 I mean, why would restaurants just throw this stuff away? 59 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,341 - [MUFFLED] That's so wasteful. - [MUFFLED] It was a day old. 60 00:02:22,342 --> 00:02:23,676 Oh, my God. I'm getting so full. 61 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,411 It makes me mad when people are wasteful. 62 00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:26,746 I don't even eat all this stuff. 63 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,548 No. Ohh. Oh, God. 64 00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,616 My problem is portion control. 65 00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:31,885 I'm just gonna go right out and say it. 66 00:02:31,886 --> 00:02:34,754 I think Fairbell is the best principal we've ever had. 67 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,623 Amen. He's really turned this place around. Mmm! 68 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:40,560 And it doesn't hurt to have a little moron friend at the top. 69 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,027 - Oh, all right! - Preach it, girl. 70 00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:44,297 I've been so busy planning this wedding with Jade. 71 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,566 It's nice to be able to come to school and just relax. 72 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:47,767 How's that going, by the way? 73 00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,435 Ugh! You'd think it would be easier 74 00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:50,503 to find a priest willing 75 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,105 to marry a prostitute and a teacher, 76 00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:54,774 but I guess Jesus was the only Christian as woke as me, 77 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,709 - you know? - Well, you know what? 78 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:57,977 You should feel blessed. 79 00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,913 Tampa and I have this new baby on the way, 80 00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:03,583 but, thankfully, Fairbell's been giving me plenty of time to... 81 00:03:03,584 --> 00:03:06,452 Did you just touch me? No, I didn't touch you. 82 00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:07,587 You just touched me. No! 83 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,256 I think your gross ponytail just brushed you again. 84 00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:12,458 Oh, geez. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to attack you. 85 00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:13,659 Hey, I've been meaning to ask you. 86 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:15,061 Did they just give you the iguana tank 87 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:16,395 with that ponytail, 88 00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:18,131 or do you have to pay for it on an installment plan? 89 00:03:18,132 --> 00:03:19,999 - [CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY] - A bunch of reasonable... 90 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,867 I already told you both. 91 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,938 When Tampa and I were separated, she dated a bad boy. Hmm. 92 00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:26,272 So if she wants a bad boy, 93 00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:28,741 I'm gonna give her the baddest of boys. 94 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,743 Stop! Don't touch it! 95 00:03:30,744 --> 00:03:33,479 I think Tampa just wants you to be a responsible father, 96 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,081 - Sylvester Sta-pone. - Yeah, Pone Jett. 97 00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:38,217 I'm not gonna take relationship ribbing 98 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,421 from someone who cyber-felates an imaginary friend. 99 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,957 Excuse me. Me and my anonymous pen pal 100 00:03:43,958 --> 00:03:45,224 do not engage in e-sex. 101 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,693 That is strictly forbidden on ThisllDo.net. 102 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,495 Ooh, that sounds super-healthy. 103 00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:51,030 Dude, check it out. New guy. 104 00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:54,167 Oh, my God. Look at that outfit. 105 00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,436 - A blazer... What is he, Canadian? - No way. 106 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,638 - That's Upper Peninsula of Michigan. - Totally. 107 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:00,439 Look at the confusion on his rube face. 108 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,107 It's got "U.P." written all over it. 109 00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:03,843 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, my God. He looked over here. 110 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,067 - Oh! Oh! Whoop. - 100%. 111 00:04:05,068 --> 00:04:07,180 - Did he see? Did he see? - Mnh-mnh. 112 00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:09,915 [FAIRBELL PANTING] 113 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,384 Great pack run. 114 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,319 - Get to class. - [WHISPERING] Bell's here. 115 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,655 Good morning, Smoot faculty. 116 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,792 ALL: Good morning, Coach Principal Fairbell. 117 00:04:18,793 --> 00:04:21,260 Never get tired of hearing that. [CHUCKLES] 118 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,462 - Yeah. - Hey. 119 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,130 This morning, it gives me great pleasure 120 00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:27,000 to introduce Smoot's new guidance counselor, 121 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,534 Steve Sweeney. 122 00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:29,869 [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] 123 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,270 Now, I'm not exactly sure 124 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,072 what it is a guidance counselor does, 125 00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,808 but Tammy has assured me 126 00:04:34,809 --> 00:04:37,943 that he's gonna help our kids get into... 127 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,213 [STRAINING] 128 00:04:40,214 --> 00:04:41,881 I have a cheat sheet here. 129 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,083 Just pretend I'm not reading this. 130 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:47,286 "He's gonna help our students get into collage." 131 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,820 Get into collages. 132 00:04:48,821 --> 00:04:49,823 - Oh. - Hmm. 133 00:04:49,824 --> 00:04:50,890 College. 134 00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,226 Uh, no, this is a high school. 135 00:04:53,227 --> 00:04:54,960 Well, thank you, Principal Fairbell. 136 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,430 Ah! Coach Principal Fairbell. 137 00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,298 - [CHUCKLES] - Okay. 138 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,900 Hi, everybody. 139 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:03,703 My wife, Deborah, and I are new to the Denver area. 140 00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:04,904 Uh, she just left Lipton 141 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,906 to take a position at Terrestrial Seasonings. 142 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:09,642 So I guess you could say we didn't want to leave, 143 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:13,112 but we couldn't turn down a good opportuni-tea. 144 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,314 Ugh! 145 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,916 Wordplay. 146 00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,451 [FAIRBELL CLEARS THROAT] 147 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,386 Anyway, great being here. 148 00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:22,455 [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] 149 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:23,857 The hell was that? 150 00:05:23,858 --> 00:05:24,883 - Ugh. - Ugh. 151 00:05:24,884 --> 00:05:26,192 Hey, my three number ones. 152 00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,260 - Hey, hey, hey. - Oh, yeah, hey. 153 00:05:27,261 --> 00:05:28,394 Tammy said you wanted to talk to me? 154 00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:29,529 Right. Yes. 155 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,731 Fairbell, as you know, today is Arbor Day. 156 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:32,798 - Yeah. - It is? 157 00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:35,801 And we're all such huge fans of conifers. 158 00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:38,738 - Or any deciduous tree, I'm very into. - I love her so much. 159 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,206 Yeah, all of that. 160 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:43,677 So we're probably gonna need, what, half the day off or so 161 00:05:43,678 --> 00:05:46,145 to kind of walk around school property 162 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:47,747 - and just look at stuff. - Mm-hmm. 163 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,282 You know, for teaching, of course. 164 00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:52,218 - Makes sense to me. - Ha! Attaboy, bud! 165 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,287 And, also, remember, I need you to give the quiz 166 00:05:54,288 --> 00:05:56,222 in my second period while I'm away, right? 167 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,691 - S?, se?or-ee! - Close enough. 168 00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,025 All right. I got to go meet with Tammy, 169 00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,895 but I'll catch you all on the flippity-flop. 170 00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:03,629 - Attaboy, buddy! - See you later. 171 00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,898 Go get 'em today, huh? 172 00:06:04,899 --> 00:06:06,632 [CHUCKLES] 173 00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:10,570 "Any deciduous tree"? You hot dogger. 174 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:13,773 Excuse me, but, um, isn't Arbor Day in April? 175 00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,841 And also, uh, conifers aren't deciduous. 176 00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:17,711 Hey, fresh fish! Why don't you mind your own... 177 00:06:17,712 --> 00:06:20,380 Shoemaker! I got this. 178 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:23,316 Uh, listen, Sweens. Can I call you "Sweens"? 179 00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:25,451 - Oh, no, I'd rather you not. - Listen, Sweens. 180 00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:26,920 Fairbell's kind of one of our crew. 181 00:06:26,921 --> 00:06:28,321 So we like to mess with him a little bit. 182 00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:29,789 You get it. He's one of the gang. 183 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:32,325 - There's no harm. - No. We always appreciate 184 00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:34,224 when you U.P. Michigan folks stop by. 185 00:06:34,225 --> 00:06:35,261 [SCOFFS] Yeah. 186 00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:36,862 Hey, why don't you give the boys 187 00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:39,532 down at Burlington Coat Factory a little hello from me? 188 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,414 Ha! Ha! Ha! Sweet burn! 189 00:06:41,415 --> 00:06:43,247 Don't touch me! 190 00:06:44,271 --> 00:06:46,872 Sorry, no, that was me and my ponytail. 191 00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:49,074 192 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,077 $156. 193 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,812 157. 194 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:55,081 $789. 195 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,350 790. 196 00:06:57,351 --> 00:06:59,619 Whew! Wow-ee! 197 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,554 We are cookin' with gas! 198 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:04,758 We are over budget $34.71. 199 00:07:04,759 --> 00:07:07,160 Okay. Hey, what if we do this... 200 00:07:07,161 --> 00:07:10,163 Sweep up all the crumbs in the cafeteria, use those. 201 00:07:10,164 --> 00:07:12,097 We'll feed every fish in the school. 202 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,167 Punch that in the magic machine. 203 00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:16,502 Ha-ho! All right, now! 204 00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,437 That's it! Ha! Ha! 205 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:19,505 Whoo! 206 00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:21,440 I had my doubts about you as principal, 207 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:24,644 but we have never, ever had this budget balanced 208 00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:26,312 so early in the year. 209 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:27,647 You're doing a great job. 210 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:29,182 I couldn't have done it without my right hand. 211 00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:31,117 Oh. [CHUCKLES] 212 00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:33,119 And you, Tammy. 213 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,253 Hey, what time is it? 214 00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,254 10:15. 215 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,722 Oh, D-A-M-N. 216 00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,123 Tonight's the season opener, 217 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,459 and I'm late for volleyball practice. 218 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,127 Uh, Coach Principal Fairbell, 219 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,463 I know how much you love your volleyball, 220 00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:46,265 but principals usually don't pull double duty. 221 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,668 Relax, Tammy. We've got this. 222 00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,536 [CHUCKLES] [BANG] Ooh! 223 00:07:52,473 --> 00:07:54,073 I thought I opened it. 224 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:57,410 225 00:07:57,411 --> 00:08:00,413 Hmm? Good? 226 00:08:00,414 --> 00:08:02,215 So, my parents want me to go pre-med, 227 00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:05,418 but I'm really into, like, computer hacking. 228 00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:08,488 Well, computer hacking is illegal, and it's beneath you. 229 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,223 Your PSAT scores are great. 230 00:08:10,224 --> 00:08:11,557 You should be thinking college. 231 00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:14,427 Although I do see that you are flunking Spanish I. 232 00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:16,496 You might want to get some extra help from your teacher. 233 00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:19,232 Well, I tried, but Mr. Payton always has a sign on his door 234 00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:21,501 that says, "Be back Domingo." 235 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:23,169 He works on Sundays? 236 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,104 This is just a really bad school. 237 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:26,972 That's somewhat of a cop-out, don't you think? 238 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:29,008 I mean, this place doesn't seem that bad, does it? 239 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,113 They say that some of the teachers 240 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:36,649 buried an old woman's body on school property. 241 00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,185 [CHUCKLES] 242 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,587 That's just an old legend. I mean, every school has one. 243 00:08:41,588 --> 00:08:42,722 When I worked at Choate, 244 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,858 everybody said that the student dorms were haunted. 245 00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:47,326 You know what? It turns out they were just raccoons. 246 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:50,730 [CHUCKLES] Spooky raccoon! Ooh! 247 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,198 [SIGHS] Yeah, you're right. 248 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:53,933 I mean, they probably would have found something 249 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:55,268 when that bootleg brewery exploded 250 00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,336 - and the equipment shed exploded. - [SPUTTERS] 251 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,338 Well, got to get to English. 252 00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,074 [DOOR OPENS] 253 00:09:01,075 --> 00:09:03,276 [MUFFLED LAUGHTER] 254 00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:05,078 [DOOR CLOSES] 255 00:09:05,079 --> 00:09:07,346 [LAUGHTER CONTINUES] 256 00:09:07,347 --> 00:09:08,682 257 00:09:08,683 --> 00:09:10,216 [LAUGHTER] 258 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,151 Ah, good dick joke, Loren. Oh, man. 259 00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,353 LOREN: I got a gift, man. What can I say? 260 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,955 This is nice. Ahh! 261 00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:18,958 I've been so swamped protesting that fascist Gil Nash, 262 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,293 I haven't had any time to relax. 263 00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,561 Well, get used to it, sister. 264 00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:23,096 We got a whole year of this ahead of us. 265 00:09:23,097 --> 00:09:24,097 Mm-hmm. Hmm. 266 00:09:24,098 --> 00:09:26,031 I say we go smoke a joint 267 00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,567 on the 50-freaking-yard line. 268 00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,034 - Okay! - Okay? 269 00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:30,770 Okay. Hey, Shoemaker. Huh? 270 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:31,905 I'm driving to Pueblo in the morning 271 00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:34,107 to go score some sweet Aerosmith tickets. 272 00:09:34,108 --> 00:09:35,108 You in, brah? 273 00:09:35,109 --> 00:09:38,778 Okay, okay, okay! 274 00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:39,845 Close enough. 275 00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:40,980 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 276 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,115 - Ohh. - Oh, man. 277 00:09:42,116 --> 00:09:43,583 - God. - Ugh! 278 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,851 Oh, hey, I got an idea. Yeah? 279 00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:49,188 Why don't we go tell our best bud, Principal Fairbell, 280 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,591 that we're not gonna be in for the rest of the day? 281 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,126 Who's the hot dogger now? 282 00:09:53,127 --> 00:09:54,327 You know what? I'll race you guys there. 283 00:09:54,328 --> 00:09:55,395 - What? - Oh, totally. 284 00:09:55,396 --> 00:09:56,462 Oh, yeah. You're on. You're on, Abbey! 285 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,531 Ow! You guys were on my ponytail! 286 00:09:58,532 --> 00:10:00,466 [BOTH LAUGHING] 287 00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,135 Guys, I can't run! 288 00:10:02,136 --> 00:10:03,403 289 00:10:03,404 --> 00:10:05,138 Sorry I'm late. 290 00:10:05,139 --> 00:10:07,673 Ohh! I said sorry, Pam! 291 00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:10,410 Look, I know tonight is the big game, 292 00:10:10,411 --> 00:10:12,345 and I've been so busy being the alpha dog 293 00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:14,280 that we haven't had time to practice, 294 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,681 but you know what? 295 00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:17,751 - I believe in this team. - Why? 296 00:10:17,752 --> 00:10:20,753 We've never won a home opener. We don't have uniforms, and... 297 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,622 You know what? Forget about all that, 298 00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:26,092 because we are gonna practice all day. [CHUCKLES] 299 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,360 We have class. 300 00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:29,562 Well, I happen to know the principal. 301 00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:30,764 I can call in a little favor. 302 00:10:30,765 --> 00:10:33,365 [ALL CHUCKLE] 303 00:10:34,435 --> 00:10:37,102 [CLICKING TONGUE] 304 00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:38,571 [SIGHS] Straight to voicemail. 305 00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:40,573 This guy is impossible to get ahold of. 306 00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:42,041 I'll just tell him when I see him in the hall. 307 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:46,780 But as of right now, you have my undivided attention. 308 00:10:46,781 --> 00:10:48,181 Principal Fairbell. 309 00:10:48,182 --> 00:10:49,515 [GROANS] 310 00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:50,916 Just go warm up. 311 00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,518 - [ALL SCOFF] - Sorry. 312 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:54,053 I just wanted to talk to you about some troubling things 313 00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:56,522 I've been hearing around the school. 314 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:58,792 - Are you coaching volleyball? - Uh, I was. 315 00:10:58,793 --> 00:11:00,126 Now I'm being your principal. 316 00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,353 Nothing comes between me and my team. 317 00:11:02,354 --> 00:11:04,063 - Not even being principal? - Uh, it's our first game of the season. 318 00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,131 Coach Fairbell! Hey, Fairbell! Yeah, real quick. 319 00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,334 Uh, listen, bummer news. 320 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,470 We were way off about this Arbor Day thing. 321 00:11:10,471 --> 00:11:11,604 Thank you! 322 00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:13,206 Yeah, turns out it's a whole Arbor Week. 323 00:11:13,207 --> 00:11:14,207 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 324 00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:15,274 So we're gonna go see John Muir 325 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,609 give a lecture at the Arborsetum. 326 00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:18,344 We're gonna need a couple days off. 327 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,149 - Sure. - John Muir, the famous naturalist? 328 00:11:20,150 --> 00:11:21,280 Yes, John Muir, the famous naturalist. 329 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,615 - Yeah. - The one and only, yep. 330 00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:25,302 Well, that might be kind of tough since he died in 1914. 331 00:11:25,303 --> 00:11:26,552 - Uh-oh! - [SIGHS] 332 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:28,954 [LAUGHS] Nice catch, Stephen. 333 00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,625 If you'll excuse me, I have a team to coach. 334 00:11:32,827 --> 00:11:34,093 Glad I could save you the trip. 335 00:11:34,094 --> 00:11:35,361 - [WHISTLE BLOWS] - Hmm? 336 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,496 Now you can get back to teaching, 337 00:11:36,497 --> 00:11:37,831 unless you save all your teaching 338 00:11:37,832 --> 00:11:39,632 for Domingos, Mr. Payton. 339 00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:42,301 [SCOFFS] 340 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:43,436 Okay. 341 00:11:43,437 --> 00:11:47,040 Hey, Lord Payton teaches in America, bud! 342 00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:49,242 I don't know where "Domingos" is! 343 00:11:49,243 --> 00:11:51,044 Okay, that is twice now. 344 00:11:51,045 --> 00:11:53,179 That guy is gonna Fair-block us all year long. 345 00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,914 I think it's time to teach Forrest Dump 346 00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,516 how we do things at Smoot. 347 00:11:56,517 --> 00:12:00,319 Now, you see, that is good wordplay, okay? 348 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,987 It's... It's fun, it's on the money, 349 00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:04,724 it's not about someone's hair or something stupid like... 350 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,192 Don't touch it! Stop! 351 00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,194 - Ooh! - Stop it! Stop! 352 00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:10,463 Oh, stop pouting, Gaston! 353 00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:12,331 - Belle will marry you! - No! Stop it! 354 00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:15,234 What she has with the Beast means nothing. 355 00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:20,005 356 00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,541 Shake out a few drops in there, 357 00:12:21,542 --> 00:12:24,410 and once he gets four or five sips in... 358 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,811 - [GAGGING] - ...he realizes. 359 00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:29,014 Loren, we're not peeing in his tea. Jesus! 360 00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,216 Then I'm out of ideas. 361 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,751 All we need to do is find some dirt on the guy 362 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,953 to hold over his head so he can't come after us again. 363 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,421 That's good, too. 364 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,691 And I know exactly the person to do the digging. 365 00:12:37,692 --> 00:12:39,292 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] 366 00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:45,293 [ALL CHUCKLING LOUDLY] 367 00:12:47,568 --> 00:12:48,701 What? Is she deaf? What is going...? 368 00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:51,771 Gretchen? Gretchen! 369 00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,240 [CHUCKLING CONTINUES] 370 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:58,578 371 00:12:58,579 --> 00:12:59,979 LOREN: Oh, and you know so much about hacking. 372 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,180 I do know a little about hacking. 373 00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:02,315 - You feel really happy... - I read half of the book. 374 00:13:02,316 --> 00:13:04,183 - Knowing that you feel like she's... - Shut up! 375 00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:09,522 376 00:13:09,523 --> 00:13:12,992 [COMPUTER BEEPING RAPIDLY] 377 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:14,860 BILLY: All right. [CHUCKLES] 378 00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,462 So, what kind of dirt do you have 379 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,732 under those dirty, little fingernails of yours? 380 00:13:18,733 --> 00:13:19,999 Nothing. 381 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,935 I searched his employment records, his tax returns. 382 00:13:21,936 --> 00:13:24,470 I even searched the dark web, and the guy's a Boy Scout. 383 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,540 Well, then, what's on the thumb drive? 384 00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:29,875 His employment records, his tax returns. 385 00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:31,277 The guy's a Boy Scout. 386 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:33,412 [SIGHS] 387 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,748 Is she keeping his stuff? 388 00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:37,617 Oh, um, by the way, 389 00:13:37,618 --> 00:13:40,086 I may have let in the Smoking Devil Virus, 390 00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,956 so [CLICKS TONGUE] my bad. 391 00:13:42,957 --> 00:13:45,759 - What's a Smoking Devil Virus? - Who cares? 392 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,361 I got a new plan. Follow me. 393 00:13:48,362 --> 00:13:50,029 [ALL CACKLE] 394 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,631 When he laughs like that, it's good. 395 00:13:51,632 --> 00:13:54,768 [CACKLING CONTINUES] [COMPUTERS CRACKLING, BEEPING] 396 00:13:54,769 --> 00:13:57,236 Yeah! That's what I'm talking about. 397 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,572 Over the net! 398 00:13:59,573 --> 00:14:02,375 Aaaaaaah! 399 00:14:02,376 --> 00:14:03,977 I like that aggression, Pam. 400 00:14:03,978 --> 00:14:05,511 Hey, at this pace, we'll be ready 401 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,047 to hopefully not lose that game tonight. 402 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,515 TAMMY: [OVER P.A.] Coach Principal Fairbell, 403 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,784 you need to get over here right now. 404 00:14:10,785 --> 00:14:12,718 Something is happening to all the computers. 405 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,520 The devil is everywhere! 406 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,323 Fine. All right. 407 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,058 I have to go be principal again. 408 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:21,661 The rest of you, keep working on your spikes, okay? 409 00:14:21,662 --> 00:14:24,130 I'll be back in a jiv-a-diff. 410 00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,398 [GASPS] 411 00:14:25,399 --> 00:14:27,600 Nice aggression, Pam. 412 00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:29,002 Save it for the net. 413 00:14:29,003 --> 00:14:32,205 Here you go, fellas. A little sourdough bread. 414 00:14:32,206 --> 00:14:35,074 Ooh! Maybe a little hair? 415 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:37,276 - Oh, that's a button. - I really don't want to do this. 416 00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:39,412 I think this is a serious escalation. 417 00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:41,280 Hey, you had your chance. 418 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:44,149 I just need a few things to help teach Stephen a real lesson. 419 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,419 Chill out. We did your stupid idea. 420 00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:47,687 - Hey, Trebin. - Whoa! 421 00:14:47,688 --> 00:14:49,088 - Hey, man. - Hey, guys! 422 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:51,691 - Hey, man. - H-Hi, Abbey. 423 00:14:51,692 --> 00:14:53,426 You're smelling pretty again today. 424 00:14:53,427 --> 00:14:55,628 Uh, gross, Trebin. 425 00:14:55,629 --> 00:14:58,164 Listen, Trebs, we got a bit of a snitch sitch, 426 00:14:58,165 --> 00:14:59,432 and I need your help showing him 427 00:14:59,433 --> 00:15:01,567 how we handle that kind of thing at Smoot. 428 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,369 I'm in the gang! 429 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,304 Oh, oh, no. I don't know how you got 430 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:06,906 what you just said from what he said. 431 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,974 Yes. You help us out with this, 432 00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:10,844 and you're an alternate if Abbey dies. 433 00:15:10,845 --> 00:15:13,379 Well, we wouldn't want that to happen. 434 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:15,515 [CHUCKLES] 435 00:15:15,516 --> 00:15:17,583 - Please stop winking. - Oh, I'm sorry. 436 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,585 I-I have a breadcrumb in my eye. 437 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,054 Okay, here's what I need. 438 00:15:21,055 --> 00:15:23,857 Okay. Oh, you want... 439 00:15:23,858 --> 00:15:27,193 Loren Payton... Maestro, YA Erotica Author, 440 00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:28,794 Master Baker, DJ? 441 00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,530 It's a personalized letterhead. It's dope as hell. 442 00:15:30,531 --> 00:15:31,731 Turn it over. Turn it over. 443 00:15:31,732 --> 00:15:33,199 Oh, okay. 444 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:37,070 Ooh, you're in luck! [CHUCKLES] 445 00:15:37,071 --> 00:15:40,073 - I have all of this stuff! - Great. 446 00:15:40,074 --> 00:15:45,144 [LAUGHING WILDLY] 447 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:47,681 I can't believe we're doing this. 448 00:15:47,682 --> 00:15:50,816 It's time to show the Stephens of the world who's the boss. 449 00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,552 Right, Pony Danza? 450 00:15:52,553 --> 00:15:53,753 [DOOR OPENS] 451 00:15:53,754 --> 00:15:55,821 Ooh! Okay! 452 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:56,956 [DOOR CLOSES] 453 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,824 The principal just had to call a priest 454 00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:00,560 to fix a bunch of computers. 455 00:16:00,561 --> 00:16:03,362 But I'm back, so let's get this practice 456 00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:04,430 back in the happening. 457 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,965 We should just skip it, Coach. 458 00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,500 We don't even have our uniforms. 459 00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:10,503 Oh, right, the uniforms. I completely forgot. 460 00:16:10,504 --> 00:16:12,572 You know what? I'll just see if Tammy can pick them up, 461 00:16:12,573 --> 00:16:14,507 'cause I'm not giving up on tonight. 462 00:16:14,508 --> 00:16:15,909 And neither are any of you. 463 00:16:15,910 --> 00:16:17,911 So let's take the court, ladies. 464 00:16:17,912 --> 00:16:20,780 Come on! There's not gonna be any more interruptions. 465 00:16:20,781 --> 00:16:22,715 - As a coach... - Fairbell, we need you. 466 00:16:22,716 --> 00:16:24,250 You are not gonna believe this one. 467 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:27,320 [SIGHS] Can't it wait? 468 00:16:27,321 --> 00:16:28,654 Fine. 469 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,189 [TEAM GROANS] 470 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:33,058 You know what? This is the last interruption. 471 00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:35,494 I promise. These things always come in twos. 472 00:16:36,797 --> 00:16:39,198 I just don't get... Aah, I see you! 473 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:41,390 Sit it down! 474 00:16:42,603 --> 00:16:44,358 That's what I thought. 475 00:16:45,339 --> 00:16:47,740 It's Pam. She's very good. 476 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,010 477 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:53,012 You don't have to be the world's greatest detective 478 00:16:53,013 --> 00:16:55,081 to see what's going on here, do you? 479 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:58,150 This is clearly a rat trade gone wrong, so... 480 00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,219 Stephen, you got your rat. 481 00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:01,153 Did you not hold up your end of the bargain? 482 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,622 This is a veiled threat. 483 00:17:02,623 --> 00:17:05,157 Oh, this is not veiled anymore. 484 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,626 Well, I want something done about this. 485 00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:07,894 Your friends did this. 486 00:17:07,895 --> 00:17:08,961 - Now, come on! - No, they didn't! 487 00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:10,296 - That is outrageous. - Friends? 488 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:12,031 They were upset because I blew their attempt 489 00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,252 at ditching school this morning. 490 00:17:15,569 --> 00:17:16,969 Also... 491 00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:18,838 - Oh, my... - Personalized letterhead. 492 00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:20,840 I'm a sucker for a good mall kiosk. 493 00:17:20,841 --> 00:17:23,042 Fairbell, this is low, even for them. 494 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,444 You got to do something. 495 00:17:24,445 --> 00:17:26,178 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] 496 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:27,279 [SIGHS] 497 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:32,652 [MUSIC CONTINUES] 498 00:17:32,653 --> 00:17:33,786 [SNICKERS] 499 00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:35,521 Did Trebin give you guys that rat? 500 00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:36,789 - Fairbell! - I'm not saying! 501 00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:39,059 Sorry. Okay, detention duty all next week! 502 00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:40,593 - What?! - Dude! Are you serious? 503 00:17:40,594 --> 00:17:41,928 She said I had to do something. 504 00:17:41,929 --> 00:17:42,995 Thank you. 505 00:17:42,996 --> 00:17:44,931 And now, if you'll excuse me, Maestro, 506 00:17:44,932 --> 00:17:46,466 I have to go wash my hands. 507 00:17:46,467 --> 00:17:48,534 Yeah, why don't you go wash your nose while you're at it? 508 00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,336 And I have to get back to my team. 509 00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:52,071 Oh, speaking of team, Tammy, 510 00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,339 would you mind picking up our uniforms? 511 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:56,208 I've been too busy with this rat-trading nonsense, 512 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,543 I don't have time to do anything. 513 00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,479 - Sure, sure. Go on. Get on out of here. - Thank you. 514 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,746 - [SIGHS] - [DOOR OPENS] 515 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,349 Fairbell is turning this school around. 516 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:07,620 I swear, if you three do anything else to mess that up... 517 00:18:07,621 --> 00:18:09,021 - We are not messing it up! - We are not mess... 518 00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:10,623 - Us three is not doing that! - That guy! 519 00:18:10,624 --> 00:18:14,426 Any more bullshit, 520 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,296 and I'm gonna tie your dicks together 521 00:18:16,297 --> 00:18:18,431 and throw you over a power line. 522 00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:20,100 Well, I feel like I have to be honest. 523 00:18:20,101 --> 00:18:21,834 I do not have the length for that. 524 00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:23,469 Oh, I hate you! 525 00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:26,106 - [SIGHS] - [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 526 00:18:26,107 --> 00:18:28,240 Well, I think it's my turn now. 527 00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:31,844 Time to tear Mr. Holland a new opus. 528 00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:33,980 All right, well, you're up, hot shot. Let's do it. 529 00:18:33,981 --> 00:18:35,782 Oh, my God! It touched my lip! 530 00:18:35,783 --> 00:18:38,184 God, it's so salty, Shoemaker! Oh, my God! Are you okay? 531 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:39,919 [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] 532 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,253 533 00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,323 Hey, Sweens, wait up. Wait up, man. 534 00:18:43,324 --> 00:18:44,457 You stay away from me. 535 00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:45,792 - Come on, bud. - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 536 00:18:45,793 --> 00:18:47,527 I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. 537 00:18:47,528 --> 00:18:49,461 - Yeah. - The wrong foot? 538 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:50,997 You stuck a dead rat to my wall! 539 00:18:50,998 --> 00:18:52,398 You're still hung up about all that? 540 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:53,399 Come on, man. 541 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,468 Oh, wow, is... is this your, uh... 542 00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:56,536 Is this your Miata? 543 00:18:56,537 --> 00:18:58,270 Yeah, it is. 544 00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,406 - Wow! - Wow, nice, man. 545 00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,208 - You like Miatas? - I love Miatas. 546 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:04,410 Ferrari of the Ozarks, I always say. 547 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,479 I saw this candy-red doll, and I said to myself, 548 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,481 "Mama Miata. I gotta have me some of that-a." 549 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,283 [LAUGHTER] 550 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:12,952 Now, that is good wordplay. 551 00:19:12,953 --> 00:19:14,220 - Man, that's fun. - Yeah. 552 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:15,822 - That is a lot of fun. - Thank you. 553 00:19:15,823 --> 00:19:17,551 [SIGHS] 554 00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:21,317 - One minute, Coach. - Okay, thank you. Got it. 555 00:19:21,318 --> 00:19:25,231 We'll... We'll be out there, dressed appropriately. 556 00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:27,834 Okay, it's game time. You know what? 557 00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:31,171 Tammy is going to be here with those uniforms. I know it. 558 00:19:31,172 --> 00:19:32,705 So in the meantime, mentally, 559 00:19:32,706 --> 00:19:36,576 let's just start kicking some Chatwood A-S-S-E-S-S. 560 00:19:36,577 --> 00:19:38,310 They're going to destroy us, Coach. 561 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:39,979 I know! I know! 562 00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:42,248 I just wish we had more time. 563 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,851 Is it true that "Miata" is Italian for "clitoris"? 564 00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:46,052 I've never heard that. 565 00:19:46,053 --> 00:19:48,054 Really? I saw a meme that was very convincing other... 566 00:19:48,055 --> 00:19:49,655 Guys, guys, I think we should keep our voices down. 567 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:52,725 - Oh, right. - It's unsafe to be here this late. 568 00:19:52,726 --> 00:19:55,327 This is Denver. There are no bad neighborhoods here. 569 00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:57,329 You happen to be standing in one right now, bud. 570 00:19:57,330 --> 00:20:00,066 Some people refer to this part as Sucktown. 571 00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:01,401 - Sucktown? - 100%. 572 00:20:01,402 --> 00:20:04,070 Earlier today, I saw two dudes right over there 573 00:20:04,071 --> 00:20:05,471 with their dicks tied together. 574 00:20:05,472 --> 00:20:07,339 And they were strung up over a telephone wire. 575 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,608 You know what that means. 576 00:20:08,609 --> 00:20:10,075 Yeah, that is classic bad-neighborhood sign. 577 00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:11,077 Mm, big time. 578 00:20:11,078 --> 00:20:12,945 And... And they're attacking teachers too, now. 579 00:20:12,946 --> 00:20:15,347 - Oh, everybody gets a turn. - Really? Well, I'll watch out. 580 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,750 A while back, cartels showed up. 581 00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:19,085 - Ohh. - Wild stuff. 582 00:20:19,086 --> 00:20:20,420 Ohh, I remember that day. 583 00:20:20,421 --> 00:20:23,155 Oof. Can't... 584 00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:24,224 - Ohh! - Ohh! 585 00:20:24,225 --> 00:20:25,425 - Oh! - Oh, my... 586 00:20:25,426 --> 00:20:27,827 587 00:20:27,828 --> 00:20:29,629 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLES] 588 00:20:29,630 --> 00:20:30,630 [TEAM MURMURING] 589 00:20:30,631 --> 00:20:32,498 FAIRBELL: [GASPS] My wish came true! 590 00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:33,833 What else do I want? 591 00:20:33,834 --> 00:20:37,503 I wish I had a cowboy hat full of pudding. 592 00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,171 Ohh! Pam! 593 00:20:39,172 --> 00:20:40,306 - This is insane! - My car! 594 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:42,442 - [GROANS] - Why is the power out?! 595 00:20:42,443 --> 00:20:43,910 - And who is this? - [GROANS] 596 00:20:43,911 --> 00:20:46,246 Yes! Who is this masked man... 597 00:20:46,247 --> 00:20:48,047 who acted completely alone? 598 00:20:48,048 --> 00:20:51,651 Uh, 'tis I, a friendly neighborhood jogger. 599 00:20:51,652 --> 00:20:53,853 I was burned as a child. I was a preco... 600 00:20:53,854 --> 00:20:55,788 - It's Shoemaker! - What?! 601 00:20:55,789 --> 00:20:56,923 - Whoa! - Whoa! 602 00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:59,859 Shoemaker?! That was you the whole time?! 603 00:20:59,860 --> 00:21:01,261 And I would have got away with it 604 00:21:01,262 --> 00:21:05,197 if it weren't for Tammy and that pesky muscle car! [GROANS] 605 00:21:05,198 --> 00:21:07,800 - They tried to assault me! - That's a little much. 606 00:21:07,801 --> 00:21:08,801 - Who? Who's "they"? - I mean, come on. 607 00:21:08,802 --> 00:21:11,404 I was out twirling a baton, you know, 608 00:21:11,405 --> 00:21:13,806 free from the judgment of my face. 609 00:21:13,807 --> 00:21:14,941 [WHISTLE BLOWS] 610 00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:17,077 Okay, I'm calling force majeure. 611 00:21:17,078 --> 00:21:19,612 We're rescheduling the match for next Friday. 612 00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:20,947 Yes! 613 00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:22,082 Which is actually better for me, 614 00:21:22,083 --> 00:21:25,017 because I only get to see my daughter now, 615 00:21:25,018 --> 00:21:26,152 you know, every other weekend 616 00:21:26,153 --> 00:21:28,888 'cause my wife is the... Ex-wife... 617 00:21:28,889 --> 00:21:30,022 [EXHALES] 618 00:21:30,023 --> 00:21:31,557 It still feels so weird to say, you know? 619 00:21:31,558 --> 00:21:33,826 Okay. Okay, Chip. 620 00:21:33,827 --> 00:21:36,362 [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] 621 00:21:36,363 --> 00:21:38,431 Hmm. 622 00:21:38,432 --> 00:21:40,967 I think I know what's actually going on here, 623 00:21:40,968 --> 00:21:42,835 and I want to see all of you in my office. 624 00:21:42,836 --> 00:21:45,105 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You two! 625 00:21:45,106 --> 00:21:46,973 - Okay? - That's right. 626 00:21:46,974 --> 00:21:48,641 [GROANS] 627 00:21:48,642 --> 00:21:51,395 That's pretty sad. Crushing my buzz. 628 00:21:51,396 --> 00:21:52,878 [GROANS] 629 00:21:54,515 --> 00:21:58,852 630 00:21:58,853 --> 00:22:01,855 Well, Fairbell, I think you learned something today. 631 00:22:01,856 --> 00:22:05,324 Part of being principal is making the hard choices. 632 00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,659 [SIGHS] 633 00:22:06,660 --> 00:22:09,262 You're right, Tammy. I did learn something today. 634 00:22:09,263 --> 00:22:12,304 I learned that I can't be afraid of firing people anymore. 635 00:22:12,305 --> 00:22:13,332 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] 636 00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:14,824 So... 637 00:22:15,936 --> 00:22:18,872 It's time that I made the hardest choice 638 00:22:18,873 --> 00:22:21,541 I've ever had to make. 639 00:22:21,542 --> 00:22:24,878 It's probably long overdue, but it's time to fire... 640 00:22:24,879 --> 00:22:29,014 641 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:30,684 Principal Fairbell. 642 00:22:30,685 --> 00:22:31,796 - What?! - What?! 643 00:22:31,797 --> 00:22:32,798 - What?! - Are you serious? 644 00:22:32,799 --> 00:22:33,836 You're firing yourself? 645 00:22:33,837 --> 00:22:35,555 - Are you kidding me? - Nope. 646 00:22:35,556 --> 00:22:37,043 These three knew that my team 647 00:22:37,044 --> 00:22:39,225 was not ready for the big game tonight. 648 00:22:39,226 --> 00:22:41,294 So they did everything in their power 649 00:22:41,295 --> 00:22:43,296 to make sure it got postponed. 650 00:22:43,297 --> 00:22:46,566 And that is some best-friend stuff. 651 00:22:46,567 --> 00:22:48,968 What about the dead rat that they stuck to my wall, 652 00:22:48,969 --> 00:22:50,570 or trying to Tonya Harding me? 653 00:22:50,571 --> 00:22:52,772 Actually, Jeff Gillooly was more the mastermind. 654 00:22:52,773 --> 00:22:55,641 And you, sir, are no Nancy Kerrigan! 655 00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:57,443 She was a thoroughbred, okay? 656 00:22:57,444 --> 00:22:59,112 And just as graceful off the ice, honestly. 657 00:22:59,113 --> 00:23:00,846 - A real ambassador for... - Who cares? 658 00:23:00,847 --> 00:23:02,982 I think Oksana Baiul probably cares. That's who. 659 00:23:02,983 --> 00:23:05,050 Yeah, if she could crawl out of the bottle long enough. 660 00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:06,649 - Oh, she got sober. - Did she? 661 00:23:06,650 --> 00:23:07,653 - What?! - Yeah. 662 00:23:07,654 --> 00:23:09,522 - Shut up! - Oh, what a gazelle. 663 00:23:09,523 --> 00:23:11,657 Anybody with half a brain would have fired these three. 664 00:23:11,658 --> 00:23:13,526 - [SCOFFS] - Well, luckily for them, 665 00:23:13,527 --> 00:23:15,795 I don't have half a brain. 666 00:23:15,796 --> 00:23:18,464 Fairbell, you have to fire them. 667 00:23:18,465 --> 00:23:19,799 No can do, Tammy. 668 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,602 I don't have the authority anymore. 669 00:23:22,603 --> 00:23:25,610 And, frankly, neither does anyone in this room. 670 00:23:26,941 --> 00:23:28,674 They tried to beat me with a child's baton, 671 00:23:28,675 --> 00:23:31,144 and you're firing yourself. This is just insane. 672 00:23:31,145 --> 00:23:32,545 [ALL SNICKER] 673 00:23:32,546 --> 00:23:34,814 Oh, you may have won today, 674 00:23:34,815 --> 00:23:37,745 but it's a long school year. 675 00:23:38,953 --> 00:23:41,554 And nice hair, Pone of Arc. 676 00:23:41,555 --> 00:23:45,425 Now, that is good wordplay. 677 00:23:45,426 --> 00:23:47,093 [DOOR OPENS] 678 00:23:47,094 --> 00:23:48,628 It's not that good of wordplay. 679 00:23:48,629 --> 00:23:51,297 You already did the Joan-to-Pone thing. 680 00:23:51,298 --> 00:23:52,898 Yeah, but he had his own take on it. 681 00:23:52,899 --> 00:23:54,968 Get out! 682 00:23:54,969 --> 00:23:57,637 [STRAINING] Aah! 683 00:23:57,638 --> 00:23:58,972 I'll take an Epsom salt bath. 684 00:23:58,973 --> 00:24:01,707 - Score one for the good guys. - [DOOR OPENS] 685 00:24:01,708 --> 00:24:03,509 - [GASPS] - [CHUCKLES] 686 00:24:03,510 --> 00:24:04,978 And you're paying for my car! 687 00:24:04,979 --> 00:24:07,212 Pedestrians have the right of way! 688 00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:10,116 Are you sure about this? 689 00:24:10,117 --> 00:24:11,184 [SCOFFS] 690 00:24:11,185 --> 00:24:13,519 I'm a volleyball coach, Tammy, okay? 691 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,721 Through and through. 692 00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:17,056 Ooh, I've never had to tell anyone 693 00:24:17,057 --> 00:24:19,392 that they were fired before. 694 00:24:19,393 --> 00:24:23,329 I guess it's best just to rip it off like a Band-Aid, huh? 695 00:24:23,330 --> 00:24:25,531 [RECEIVER CLICKS] 696 00:24:27,468 --> 00:24:28,668 [CELLPHONE VIBRATES] 697 00:24:28,669 --> 00:24:30,336 Ugh, of course I would get a call 698 00:24:30,337 --> 00:24:31,871 during the most important call of my life. 699 00:24:31,872 --> 00:24:32,872 Oh, my God. 700 00:24:32,922 --> 00:24:37,472 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 50289

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