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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:03,742 All right, so we replaced your pads, 2 00:00:03,786 --> 00:00:07,268 resurfaced your rotors, and adjusted your calipers. 3 00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:10,401 Great. Please tell me that means you fixed my brakes. 4 00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:13,796 [chuckles] Well, let's just say I don't expect your car 5 00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:14,797 on my lawn again. 6 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,233 [chuckles] 7 00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:18,801 You can go and settle this up with Tina in the office. 8 00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,455 Your car's in the back getting washed. 9 00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:22,979 Ooh, your shop is so fancy. 10 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,373 Well, you also get a complimentary air freshener. 11 00:00:25,416 --> 00:00:27,897 Pine tree, cinnamon vanilla, 12 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:31,205 or my personal favorite, "New Calvin Smell." 13 00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,904 Is that like "new car smell"? 14 00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:37,907 Yeah, but with notes of cocoa butter and swagger. 15 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:39,082 [both chuckle] 16 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,739 Ooh, I've never seen you at work before. 17 00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:46,133 Look at you, Mrs. Businesswoman. 18 00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:48,570 Balancing the books, invoicing suppliers... 19 00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,180 Girl, I'm on Facebook. 20 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,402 My cousin just changed her relationship status 21 00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:57,100 to "it's complicated," and we know what that means. 22 00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:59,842 Here comes the Bible quotes and the bikini pictures. 23 00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:02,627 [chuckles] Calvin told me to give you this. 24 00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,586 Oh, no, no. Don't be ridiculous. 25 00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,196 We're not charging you. 26 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,677 What are you talking about? It's $300. 27 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,985 Calvin rotored my caterpillars and padded my surfaces. 28 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:15,162 Gemma, we're friends, okay? 29 00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:16,815 Don't worry about it. 30 00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:19,122 No. Really, Tina, I appreciate the thought, 31 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,167 but I have to pay you. 32 00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:21,472 Gemma Johnson, 33 00:01:21,516 --> 00:01:23,170 I just called you a friend. 34 00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:25,128 And friends do things for each other, 35 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:28,305 so don't insult me when I'm trying to show you some love. 36 00:01:28,349 --> 00:01:30,699 Are you sure? 37 00:01:30,742 --> 00:01:33,267 Girl, don't make me cut your brake lines. 38 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,965 Have you actually ever done that? 39 00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,186 No. 40 00:01:40,274 --> 00:01:42,667 Well, in that case, thank you. 41 00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,321 You're welcome. 42 00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:46,541 Now come help me find a Bible verse that says 43 00:01:46,584 --> 00:01:47,759 "Stick to a one-piece." 44 00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,805 [speaks indistinctly] 45 00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:52,242 Hey, Calvin. 46 00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:54,549 Oh. Thanks for taking care of our car. 47 00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:55,767 Not a problem, Dave. 48 00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:57,247 You guys did a great job. 49 00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:58,901 We try. 50 00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:00,511 Oh, and thanks so much for comping the bill. 51 00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:03,166 Oh, what's that, now? 52 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,212 You know how you hooked us up with the car. 53 00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:06,604 Who knew you were so generous? 54 00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:09,433 Not me. 55 00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:11,000 Well, I owe you one. 56 00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:13,611 You owe me a lot more than one. 57 00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:15,091 What's that, buddy? 58 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,919 Oh, nothing, buddy. 59 00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:22,185 Tina! 60 00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,144 ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪ 61 00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,145 ♪ Welcome to the hood. 62 00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:33,109 Tina! Tina! 63 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,939 Ooh, Dad seems pissed. We should go. 64 00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:40,508 Yeah, Dad seems pissed. We should stay. 65 00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:41,944 What are you yelling about? 66 00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:46,340 Is Leon selling meat out of the back of his van again? 67 00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:49,081 Did you tell the Johnsons they didn't have to pay their bill? 68 00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:50,213 Yeah. Why? 69 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,649 Why? 70 00:02:51,693 --> 00:02:54,652 Because 300 bucks is a lot of money. 71 00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:57,307 That's like 60 rib eyes. 72 00:02:57,351 --> 00:02:59,483 Wait, so those steaks are five bucks apiece? 73 00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,355 Yeah, Pop, that's not real meat. 74 00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:05,707 Gemma's my friend. 75 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,143 It's not like we're hurting for money. 76 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,189 It's not about the money. 77 00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:11,321 It's about that you didn't ask me. 78 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,803 Why do I have to ask you? 79 00:03:14,846 --> 00:03:16,326 Because I'm the boss. 80 00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:20,069 Yep, Mom is pissed. We should go. 81 00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:23,464 Yeah. This time I agree. 82 00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:27,642 Calvin, I didn't realize I had a boss. 83 00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,339 I thought I had a business partner. 84 00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,906 Babe, you know what I'm saying. 85 00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,169 All right? It, it's a division of labor. 86 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,823 Mm-hmm.I'm the boss at the shop. 87 00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:37,042 You're the boss here at home. 88 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,828 [laughs] 89 00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:41,873 [both laughing] 90 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,838 Wha-- Why-why are we laughing? 91 00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,448 Oh... 92 00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:54,103 'Cause you thought I would buy that nonsense. 93 00:03:55,974 --> 00:04:01,719 Calvin Butler, love of my life, partner at home and at work... 94 00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:04,244 I made a decision 95 00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:07,769 and I expect for you to respect that. 96 00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,510 [knocking on door] 97 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,122 Okay, so was that a "I love you" kiss 98 00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:15,080 or a "you need to let this go" kiss? 99 00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,778 We'll go with both. 100 00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:19,128 Hey, guys. 101 00:04:19,171 --> 00:04:20,782 Hi. Hey. 102 00:04:20,825 --> 00:04:22,697 We just wanted to stop by and say thanks again 103 00:04:22,740 --> 00:04:24,873 for taking such good care of us down at the shop. 104 00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,918 Aw, don't be ridiculous. 105 00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,703 It's our pleasure. Right, Calvin? 106 00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,533 300%. 107 00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,928 But, you know, we talked about it, 108 00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:39,148 and it just feels wrong to let you do it for free. 109 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,671 [quietly]: All right. 110 00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:44,762 Which is why we want to have you over for dinner tomorrow. 111 00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:49,898 Well, that's wonderful. 112 00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,943 We'll bring the wine. You want to pick one out? 113 00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:54,772 Ooh, I don't know. We might have to taste it first. 114 00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:56,731 I might need to taste it twice. 115 00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:59,603 [chuckling] 116 00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:00,735 [Calvin chuckles] 117 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,825 I want that money, Dave. 118 00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:07,655 What? 119 00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,831 And don't tell our wives. 120 00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:11,311 I tell Gemma everything. 121 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:13,095 Even when she asks me not to. 122 00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:16,968 Well, on behalf of both of us, keep your mouth shut. 123 00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,756 So, if the chicken had six eggs, 124 00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,584 and the farmer took away five, 125 00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,325 what did the chicken have left? 126 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:28,502 Where do chicken babies come from? 127 00:05:28,545 --> 00:05:33,855 Oh. Well, that's an interesting question. 128 00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:36,031 You see, instead of genitals... 129 00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:44,082 ...hens and roosters have a special hole called a cloaca... 130 00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:48,478 that's used for both going to the bathroom and making babies. 131 00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:50,698 If you don't know, just say so. 132 00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:58,445 Did he just trick me into finishing his homework? 133 00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:03,101 Hey, Gemma. 134 00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:04,799 Hey, sweetie. 135 00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:07,758 Uh, I was thinking. 136 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:09,847 You know, maybe we pay Calvin 137 00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,327 for the work that he did on the car. 138 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,589 I asked, 139 00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:13,590 but Tina threatened to cut my brake lines. 140 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,985 I think, playfully. 141 00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:22,643 I know, it's just-- it's the principle of the thing. 142 00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,253 You know, where I come from, a man gets paid 143 00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:25,820 for the work that he does. 144 00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:29,040 First of all, we come from the same place. 145 00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:32,740 [chuckles] Uh, hello. 146 00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:36,091 East Kalamazoo is an entirely different world 147 00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:39,442 from Hickory Corners. 148 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,313 And second, it would be rude. 149 00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:43,794 Tina explicitly said she didn't want us to pay. 150 00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,361 I know, but people say things 151 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,015 that they don't mean all the time. 152 00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:49,321 Like, when I floated the idea of becoming an amateur beekeeper, 153 00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:51,454 and you told me to do what I want. 154 00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:53,717 You're right. I definitely didn't mean that. 155 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,285 See? 156 00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:57,852 And how many times did you get stung? 157 00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:02,378 We still don't know that those were my bees. 158 00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:06,817 So we agree. We're not paying them, right? 159 00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:08,340 [sighs] 160 00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:09,516 Okay. 161 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:11,387 Good. Now I'm gonna go tuck in Grover, 162 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,476 before he starts looking for his cloaca. 163 00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:18,525 Yeah, Malcolm and Marty. 164 00:07:18,568 --> 00:07:21,484 What do the Butler boys got crackalackin' tonight? 165 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,921 Well, Marty and I are checking out this new dating app. 166 00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:27,011 You would not believe all the fine women on here. 167 00:07:27,055 --> 00:07:28,273 Ooh-ooh! 168 00:07:28,317 --> 00:07:31,363 Excuse me. Are these seats taken? 169 00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:33,278 Yeah, I think there was some guy here or something. 170 00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:38,458 What? What? 171 00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,764 What the hell is wrong with you two? 172 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,941 You online shopping when 173 00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:46,422 you already in the mall. 174 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,032 Look, the game has changed, Ernie. 175 00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:50,426 We would have to have a whole conversation with those girls 176 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,167 to find out if we were a match. 177 00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,212 Yeah, but with the app, we already know, 178 00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:55,823 and we just swipe right.Mmm. 179 00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,826 Well, back in my day, if a woman didn't like you, 180 00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,958 she literally swiped you away. 181 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:03,221 Once, I got swiped off a boat. 182 00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:07,487 [phone buzzes and dings]Oh! I got my first match. 183 00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:09,837 Oh, she is fine. She likes baseball, 184 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,579 she's into poetry, and her name is Ebony. 185 00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:13,536 [phone buzzes and beeps] 186 00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:16,278 Ha-ha! Houston, we have liftoff. 187 00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:17,409 I got a match, too. 188 00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:20,500 Yeah, her name is... Ebony. 189 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:25,766 Oh... 190 00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:27,898 let the games begin. 191 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,165 Dave. 192 00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:36,559 Dave. Where are you? 193 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:38,256 I'm right here. What? [muttering] 194 00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:44,480 Why you scaring me like that? 195 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,090 Sorry. Sorry. 196 00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,918 I'm on the down-low. 197 00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:53,358 Just so you know, 198 00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,578 in this neighborhood, that doesn't mean what you think. 199 00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:58,973 Whatever. Look... 200 00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,540 Got your money.Great. 201 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,106 But I can't give it to you. 202 00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,195 Why not? 203 00:09:04,239 --> 00:09:06,589 Because Gemma wants to respect Tina's decision. 204 00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:07,634 So you see my situation. 205 00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:08,722 I want to pay you. 206 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:12,595 But I can't. 207 00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:15,555 Dave, why are you wasting my time right now? 208 00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:18,079 Because I believe that paying you is the right thing to do. 209 00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:20,081 A man deserves to be paid for the work that he does. 210 00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:22,344 Okay, so give me the money. 211 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:25,521 But, then I'd be going behind my wife's back, 212 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,610 and I don't think that's the right thing to do, either. 213 00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,830 Oh... okay. 214 00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:32,615 I see, you one of those kind of dudes. 215 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,182 What do you mean? 216 00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:37,881 Oh, you know, the kind that's afraid to do the right thing, 217 00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:40,144 so you hide behind your wife. 218 00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:48,936 Are you calling me a Hickory Corners kind of man? 219 00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:59,947 That is as confusing to me as "the down-low" is to you. 220 00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:03,341 Okay, you know what? Fine. Here. 221 00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:04,734 Look. Take the money.Cool. 222 00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:06,649 But just so you know, I feel super guilty, 223 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,259 because I've never lied to Gemma before. 224 00:10:08,303 --> 00:10:09,696 Plus... 225 00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:10,871 I'm a terrible liar. 226 00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:12,568 What are you guys doing? 227 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:15,702 W-We're just having a late night meeting for our recycling club. 228 00:10:16,746 --> 00:10:19,444 Oh. Cool. 229 00:10:21,316 --> 00:10:23,666 I just lied to my son! 230 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,928 I feel horrible. 231 00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:25,929 Yeah. 232 00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:27,888 So do I. Really? 233 00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:29,716 No. 234 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,153 See? That's how you lie. 235 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:44,687 Oh! 236 00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,083 We've done a horrible thing. 237 00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:51,651 I need to put a bell on you. 238 00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:55,045 I feel so guilty about lying to Gemma, sneaking around 239 00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:57,352 on her on the down-low. 240 00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,834 Okay, you've got to stop saying that, 241 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,879 or look up what it means. 242 00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,143 I can't even look her in the eye. 243 00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:09,407 I spent all breakfast focusing on her left nostril. 244 00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:10,844 I can't do this anymore, Calvin. 245 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,672 I have to tell her 246 00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:16,371 about this and that stray nose hair. 247 00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,329 Look, you've already committed the crime. 248 00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,288 There's no way you can undo it. 249 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,290 You could give me back the money. 250 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:25,467 Like I said, there's no way you can undo it. 251 00:11:25,510 --> 00:11:28,035 But... Look, Dave, 252 00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:30,472 how will knowing the truth make Gemma feel? 253 00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:33,040 I don't know, hurt, angry, betrayed. 254 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:37,000 Exactly, so by you telling her, all you'll be doing 255 00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,699 is making yourself feel better. 256 00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,788 I guess. 257 00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:45,530 Be a good husband, Dave. Keep lying to your wife. 258 00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:49,534 I just wish that lying came easier to me. 259 00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:50,797 Oh, hey, Dave, what are you doing here? 260 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,494 Calvin and I are gonna donate blood. 261 00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:56,541 Oh, really? That's great. 262 00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,718 I've been trying to get him to go for years. 263 00:11:58,761 --> 00:11:59,849 So what's your secret, Dave? 264 00:11:59,893 --> 00:12:01,242 My secret? I don't have a secret. 265 00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:02,896 I'm not feeling too well. Anybody else feel dizzy? 266 00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:08,423 Well, it sounds like you shouldn't be giving blood. 267 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:10,294 Calvin, looks like you got to go without him. 268 00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:11,382 [laughing]: Okay. 269 00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:13,123 All right. 270 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:14,124 I'll make sure 271 00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:15,822 he gives some later. 272 00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:21,566 You've been on that phone since I got home from work. 273 00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,133 What's going on? 274 00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,005 Just asking out this girl I met on this app last night. 275 00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:27,094 Oh, nice. What's her name? 276 00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,573 Ebony. 277 00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:31,620 Good. You just answered my next question. 278 00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:36,625 [vocalizing] 279 00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:38,366 Hey, guys. 280 00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:40,934 Hey, baby. I just finished folding your laundry. 281 00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,023 Oh, good, 'cause I think my lucky shirt's in there, 282 00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:45,634 and I'm-a need it for my date with Ebony. [chuckles] 283 00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:49,420 Huh. 284 00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:52,989 What are the odds of you both talking to girls named Eb...? 285 00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:57,689 Aw, hell no. 286 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,129 You both got my hopes up for nothing. 287 00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:03,565 That girl's a ho. 288 00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,523 No, she's not. 289 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,525 Oh, yeah? What kind of girl 290 00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:09,527 dates two brothers at the same time? 291 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:10,746 She doesn't know we're brothers. 292 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,575 Yeah, Mom, that would be weird. 293 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:17,709 You know, I-I-I can't believe you two. 294 00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:20,103 You mean to tell me that, in a world full of women, 295 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:22,279 you'll seriously risk your relationship 296 00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:23,846 fighting over the same girl? 297 00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:25,935 Definitely. Yes. 298 00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,371 Yes. Absolutely. 299 00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:31,419 So, how you holding up, man? 300 00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:33,116 Terrible. 301 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,944 I still can't look Gemma in the eye. 302 00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:36,206 I feel like she's gonna know. 303 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,295 Don't you go Hickory Corners on me. 304 00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:44,258 This is so nice. Thanks again for having us. 305 00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:46,303 Oh, please. It's our pleasure. Right, Dave? 306 00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:48,697 [chuckles]: Yeah. 307 00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,662 What are you looking at, Dave? 308 00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:59,403 There's a bug. 309 00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:01,536 Oh-oh, yeah, 310 00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,973 yeah, I see it, too. It's, uh... Oh! 311 00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,235 There. Got it. 312 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:08,064 Calvin. What? 313 00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,240 It looked like the bitey kind. 314 00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:12,286 West Nile is in these streets. 315 00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:16,246 You know what, we should toast. 316 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,335 Dave, why don't you pour everyone some more wine? 317 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,598 Yeah, that's a great idea. 318 00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,253 Okay. 319 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:24,907 Calvin, here you go. 320 00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:27,388 Tina. Thank you. 321 00:14:27,431 --> 00:14:28,258 Dear... 322 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,260 [gasps] Dave! Oh, no! 323 00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:31,522 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.. 324 00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:33,350 I got to go clean this up.Oh, my goodness. 325 00:14:33,394 --> 00:14:35,526 I'm so sorry.It got all over your couch-- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! 326 00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:36,745 Wrong wife, Dave. 327 00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:44,274 Dude. 328 00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,233 What is wrong with you, man? 329 00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:48,365 You got to pull it together. I can't! 330 00:14:48,409 --> 00:14:52,282 My hands are all sweaty, my heart is pounding in my throat. 331 00:14:52,326 --> 00:14:56,330 Oh, you mean like the way I felt when I had to give blood today? 332 00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,203 Huh? 333 00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:04,468 It took her four stabs to find a vein. 334 00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:10,039 What is up with Dave? He's been acting so weird. 335 00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:12,302 Yeah, even for him. 336 00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:15,436 You know, Calvin's been acting funny, too. 337 00:15:15,479 --> 00:15:16,872 How? 338 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,483 Well, if a mosquito was gonna give Dave West Nile, 339 00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:21,268 I don't think Calvin would stop it. 340 00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:25,402 Maybe it's because they're in the same club. 341 00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:26,795 What club? 342 00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:29,189 The recycling club. 343 00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:31,278 I saw them outside last night whispering about it. 344 00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:35,412 Oh, really? 345 00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:38,502 Yeah, then Dad gave Mr. Calvin some money. 346 00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,464 How much money? 347 00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:47,120 I don't know, probably like a million dollars. 348 00:15:48,512 --> 00:15:49,905 Hmm. 349 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,907 Okay, sweetie, why don't you run off to bed? 350 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,345 Okay... but save that empty bottle for me. 351 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,913 I want to join that club and get paid. 352 00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:04,746 You know, that little boy is getting blacker and blacker. 353 00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,402 I can't believe Dave gave Calvin that money. 354 00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:11,492 I specifically told him I was trying to honor our friendship. 355 00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:13,320 I told Calvin the same thing, 356 00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:15,278 but apparently their egos are more important. 357 00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,367 This could have gotten really ugly. 358 00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,195 If you'd found out about Dave paying Calvin 359 00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:20,805 and thought that I was okay with it... 360 00:16:20,849 --> 00:16:22,024 I would've been pissed. 361 00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,721 Yeah, and then we would've been in a fight. 362 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,985 [chuckles] Not a real one. 363 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,162 You don't want to catch these hands. 364 00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:31,773 And all because of them. 365 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,427 They should be taught a lesson. 366 00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,602 How? 367 00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:36,821 Maybe we should get into a fight. 368 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:40,825 Okay. But I don't want to catch those hands. 369 00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:47,136 Come on, man, look, we just have to make it through dinner 370 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,008 and we never have to see each other again. 371 00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,188 How is that gonna fix my problem? 372 00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:58,365 It doesn't. It fixes mine. 373 00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:01,498 You know, I cannot believe you, Gemma Johnson! 374 00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:03,370 We're supposed to be friends, but you're... 375 00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:05,154 you're just the liar next door. 376 00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:08,375 We are friends, Tina. 377 00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:10,638 You have to believe me, I didn't know. 378 00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:12,118 Okay, what is going on? 379 00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:14,337 I found out the truth that Dave gave you the money. 380 00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:17,688 Oh, okay. Oh, God. 381 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:21,388 And that Gemma was the one who forced you both to do it. 382 00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:22,693 Yes. What? 383 00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,521 Yes, it was her. 384 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,002 You know what, Tina? 385 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,570 I am sick of you and your false accusations. 386 00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:32,312 Disrespect me one more time and see what happens. 387 00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:39,145 Oh, really, you little fake-ass Barbie? 388 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:40,450 [gasps] 389 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,887 What you gonna do? 390 00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:44,150 Tell me what you gonna do. 391 00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:45,934 Oh, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. 392 00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,588 I'm gonna make you catch these hands. 393 00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:49,459 Whoa, whoa, whoa![overlapping shouting] 394 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:51,157 Did you hear what she said to me?! 395 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,549 Tina, please. 396 00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:55,813 Gemma had nothing to do with this. 397 00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:57,598 She didn't? 398 00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:58,773 No. 399 00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,992 Is this true, Calvin? 400 00:18:01,036 --> 00:18:03,517 Yeah, he's right, babe. 401 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:04,692 It was all Dave. 402 00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,655 Seriously, Calvin? 403 00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:14,484 Look, fine, it was both of us. 404 00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:15,964 We're really sorry. 405 00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:24,451 Yay! [laughs] We got you! 406 00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:25,930 We were just pretending to fight. 407 00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:28,455 Oh, my God! You were so good. 408 00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,152 Oh, my God, no, you were so good. 409 00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:31,588 "The liar next door." 410 00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:34,243 You know, that just came to me in the moment. 411 00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,853 Oh, my God, you're so good.Now, hold on. 412 00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:39,422 This whole thing was fake just to make us look like fools? 413 00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:41,163 Yeah, and it worked. [laughs] 414 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,733 My heart is racing. 415 00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:48,039 Oh, my God, I'm pumped. Let's go out. 416 00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:50,738 Yeah, maybe get into a real fight. 417 00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:52,566 Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow your roll, Gemma. 418 00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:54,872 Hold up, 419 00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:56,265 y'all just gonna leave us? 420 00:18:56,309 --> 00:18:59,138 Hell yeah. You two totally went behind our backs 421 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,966 when we were supposed to be partners. 422 00:19:02,010 --> 00:19:04,186 Yeah, Dave, if I wanted to marry a liar, 423 00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,319 I would have stayed in Hickory Corners. 424 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,891 Damn, dude, how bad is that place? 425 00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:25,120 So, um, how was your date with Ebony? I bet it sucked. 426 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,904 Au contraire, mon frère. 427 00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:28,515 It was like something out of a movie, okay? 428 00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:31,257 Think Romeo and Juliet meets Lady and the Tramp. 429 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,433 Oh, so you guys had spaghetti 430 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,913 and then she killed herself? 431 00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:38,307 No. 432 00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:39,874 We went to the park with her dogs, 433 00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:42,224 and their names are Romeo and Juliet. 434 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:45,009 That sounds super lame. [laughs] 435 00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:47,403 Well, that long hug I got at the end wasn't. 436 00:19:47,447 --> 00:19:48,622 What'd you guys do? 437 00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:50,667 Well... [clears throat] I picked her up... 438 00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:53,279 On the bus. 439 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:54,976 We went to a poetry reading... 440 00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:56,282 That was free. 441 00:19:56,325 --> 00:19:58,371 And then I dropped her off at her place... 442 00:19:58,414 --> 00:19:59,589 Because you don't have your own. 443 00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:00,764 [chuckles] 444 00:20:00,808 --> 00:20:03,027 [overlapping arguing] 445 00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:05,378 Malcolm? Marty? 446 00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:07,249 Ebony? Hey. 447 00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:09,512 You guys know each other?Uh, yeah. 448 00:20:09,556 --> 00:20:10,600 How? 449 00:20:10,644 --> 00:20:12,515 Well... Well, uh... 450 00:20:12,559 --> 00:20:13,908 We-we-we... 451 00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:15,344 Oh, they brothers. 452 00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:18,695 Are you ready, beautiful? 453 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:21,481 What?Now-now, wait-wait-wait, wait a second. 454 00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:22,960 How do you two know each other? 455 00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:25,441 Oh, we're a match. Yeah. 456 00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,269 Turns out I do like online shopping. 457 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,402 [chuckles] 458 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,493 Wow. 459 00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,843 [sighs] 460 00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:37,975 Well, maybe that's for the best. 461 00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:40,413 You know what? Yeah, you're right. I mean, we're brothers. 462 00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:42,023 Right. [both laugh] 463 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:44,373 [phones chime]Oh, please, not again. 464 00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:45,635 Okay, 465 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,334 let's just look and say the names on three. 466 00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:50,249 Ready? Okay. 467 00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:51,511 BOTH: One... two... three. 468 00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:53,513 Laura! [sighs] Tracey! Oh, God, 469 00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:55,471 Captioning sponsored by CBS 470 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,043 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 471 00:21:02,093 --> 00:21:06,643 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33467

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