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1
00:00:03,177 --> 00:00:06,963
Son, you better not be
eating my Fruity Puffs.
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,965
What Fruity Puffs?
3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,272
Mom doesn'’t let you have
those sugar cereals anymore.
4
00:00:11,315 --> 00:00:12,969
"Let me have"?
5
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,319
Nobody lets me
have anything.
6
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,321
I'’m not scared
of your mama.
7
00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:19,062
Okay. Well, I didn'’t see
any Fruity Puffs
8
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:21,282
in that cabinet.I know, '’cause
I hid '’em here.
9
00:00:23,719 --> 00:00:26,809
Okay, I see. S-So Mom'’s going
out of town for the weekend,
10
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,811
you just gonna do
whatever you want to, huh?
11
00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:30,639
You know, son,
you don'’t understand
12
00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:32,597
what it'’s like
to be the man of the house.
13
00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:33,946
You'’re always worried
14
00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:35,078
about other people'’s needs.
15
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:36,949
It'’s never really about you.
16
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:39,778
But with your mother
going to Vegas overnight,
17
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:44,044
the rest of this weekend
is about me and only me.
18
00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:46,872
Well, excuse me, Pop,
19
00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:49,440
but I will still be here.Yeah.
20
00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:51,486
But I don'’t care
about your needs.
21
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:54,358
Calvin!
Mm.
22
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,360
Yeah, babe.
23
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:57,840
Hey, baby.
Can you do me a favor
24
00:00:57,883 --> 00:00:59,798
and take these to the car?Damn, Tina.
25
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:01,148
You'’re only going away
for one night.
26
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,671
Why do you need three bags?
27
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:05,500
Well, this one is
for my clothes,
28
00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:07,328
this one is for
hair and makeup,
29
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:08,459
and this one is empty.
30
00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:09,591
Mama'’s going shopping.
31
00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:14,552
And what else do you and Gemma
have planned for Vegas?
32
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:17,729
Baby, how about you don'’t
ask me about my plans,
33
00:01:17,773 --> 00:01:20,080
and I won'’t ask you about
that box of Fruity Puffs
34
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:22,473
that you got hiding
behind my cookbooks.
35
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:24,693
Have a great trip.Okay.
36
00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:28,566
I'’m so excited!
37
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,612
Tina and I are gonna
have so much fun.
38
00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:32,222
I know, your first
girls'’ trip.
39
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,311
Man, I wish I could go.
40
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:36,139
Okay, but then it wouldn'’t be
41
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,533
much of a girls'’trip,
would it, sweetie?
42
00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:41,666
I know, but I really feel like
I could add to the experience.
43
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,320
Like you two are
Thelma and Louise
44
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:44,887
and I'’m Brad Pitt.
45
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:48,151
Hey, guys.Hey.
46
00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:49,239
So, what do
you say, Gemma?
47
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,936
You ready to have some fun?
48
00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,199
You know it, girl!Yeah!
49
00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:54,288
What do you say, Calvin?
50
00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:56,507
You ready to have
some fun, too?
51
00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:58,683
I got to load the bags, Dave.
52
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,384
This one feels empty.
53
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,212
Maybe I should climb
in and stow away.
54
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,866
Hey, that'’s a good idea.
'’Cause you know what they say:
55
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:09,999
what goes to Vegas
stays in Vegas.
56
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:13,698
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
57
00:02:13,742 --> 00:02:14,699
♪ Welcome to the hood.
58
00:02:21,924 --> 00:02:24,579
["If It Ain'’t Called Love"
by Ashley Thomas playing]
59
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:41,204
♪ Hey, girl...
60
00:02:41,248 --> 00:02:43,641
Aw, that takes me back
to my player days right there.
61
00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:46,775
[chuckles]
Tina lucky she locked me down.
62
00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,429
♪ Hey, boy...
63
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:50,561
It'’s good to be the king.
64
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:53,085
I thought all kings
wore robes.
65
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,783
Well, they do.[grunts]
66
00:02:54,826 --> 00:02:57,394
But I needed to let
the royal jewels breathe.
67
00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,483
Hey, man.
68
00:02:59,527 --> 00:03:01,485
So, this is how you'’re
fulfilling your needs
69
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:03,226
for the weekend, huh?
70
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,924
Sitting in your underwear,
listening to oldies,
71
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,709
and giving yourself diabetes?
72
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:10,581
It'’s pretty cool, right?
73
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,496
You know what would
be pretty cool, Pop,
74
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:14,455
is if you ordered the
pay-per-view fight for tonight.
75
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:17,022
Posley versus Camargo.
Supposed to be a good one.
76
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,721
But then I would be fulfilling
your needs as well as mine.
77
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:21,853
Aw, what the hell.
78
00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:23,159
I'’m a benevolent king.
79
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,031
Okay, well, I'’ll
let Marty know.
80
00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:27,772
Good. We'’ll make it
a guys'’ night.
81
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:28,947
All right.
Well, I'’ll invite Dave.
82
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:31,515
Now, hold on a second, now.
83
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:32,690
What? How come?
84
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:35,519
'’Cause Dave is not
the kind of guy
85
00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:37,521
you invite over for guys'’ night.
86
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,741
I mean, now,
87
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,134
we were having a men'’s brunch
with a wine tasting?
88
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,788
All right, look, Pop, I know
89
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:46,008
Dave is not your
typical kind of dude,
90
00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,879
but if you ask me,
Dave is a man.
91
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:49,272
I know.
92
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:51,753
That'’s why I don't ask you.
93
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,363
Look, come on, Pop.
94
00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:56,192
He is a good husband and father
who takes care of his family.
95
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,281
And he is not embarrassed
to be himself.
96
00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,196
There is no shame
in Dave'’s game.
97
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,719
I know.
98
00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:04,679
Which is weird,
because there really should be.
99
00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:07,682
But that'’s what I'm saying, man.
Dave knows who he is,
100
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,510
and he owns it
no matter what anyone thinks.
101
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:11,686
Isn'’t that what makes a man
real to you?
102
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:14,819
Fine. Go ahead.
Invite him.
103
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:17,126
Probably doesn'’t even
like boxing.
104
00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:19,346
[imitating Dave]:
"Calvin, it'’s so barbaric.
105
00:04:19,389 --> 00:04:21,304
"Why can'’t they just settle
their differences
106
00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,306
with a rousing game
of Parcheesi?"
107
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,526
[phone chimes]
108
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:28,964
Dave says, "Hell yes,"
and he is bringing snacks.
109
00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:30,661
Okay.Yeah.
110
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:33,751
Well, maybe it won'’t be so bad.[phone chimes]
111
00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,449
He wants to know what you like
on your veggie plate.
112
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:42,369
Okay, we have a gondola ride
at the Venetian at 6:00,
113
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:45,459
the dancing fountains at
the Bellagio at 7:30, and--
114
00:04:45,502 --> 00:04:47,287
drumroll, please--
115
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:49,550
Donny and Marie
tickets at 9:00!
116
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:50,725
[whoops]
117
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,466
Vegas, baby!
118
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,468
♪ Girls'’ trip. ♪
119
00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:56,470
Gemma, the only girl
who'’s trippin' is you.
120
00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,647
Yeah, we only came here
121
00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:01,562
because you said that you needed
to blow off some steam.
122
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,694
We'’re not doing
any of that corny stuff.
123
00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:05,870
But I made a whole
itinerary. Look.
124
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:07,568
It'’s got little boxes
we can check off.
125
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:10,092
Aw. Well, that'’s nice.
126
00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:12,007
But my itinerary
says that it'’s time
127
00:05:12,050 --> 00:05:13,791
to throw out
your itinerary.
128
00:05:13,835 --> 00:05:15,053
What?
129
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:17,578
Check.
130
00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:19,797
I just thought
the more structure we had,
131
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,538
the more we could pack
into our night.
132
00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:26,021
When I rage,
I try to rage efficiently.
133
00:05:26,064 --> 00:05:28,893
Gemma, a girls'’ night in Vegas
is like floating down a river.
134
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:30,895
You know? You got
to go with the flow
135
00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:33,507
and see where it takes you.
136
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,770
And why is your plan
better than mine?
137
00:05:35,813 --> 00:05:37,032
Because it'’s Vegas, girl.
138
00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:38,425
Always bet on black.
139
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:39,469
[laughs]
140
00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,776
Hey. Check it
out, ladies.
141
00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:43,473
The hottest show in town.
142
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:46,258
See your wildest fantasies
onstage tonight.
143
00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:50,959
Magic Mike Live?
144
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:54,223
What? Let me see that.
145
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:55,833
It'’s just a bunch
of male strippers.
146
00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:57,792
Exactly. You see?
147
00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:01,099
We go with the flow, and plans
will fall right in our laps.
148
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,362
And tonight some men will, too.
149
00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:08,019
Thanks again for inviting
me. Grover'’s at a sleepover.
150
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,934
Otherwise I wouldn'’t
have been able to come.
151
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,327
How convenient.
152
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,722
You gonna get in on some
of this jicama, Calvin?
153
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:17,986
It'’s in season.
154
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,509
Well, fortunately,
155
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:21,946
so is pizza.
156
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:24,645
Man, this is great. Nothing
like a bunch of guys
157
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:27,082
getting together to watch
a big fight. [chuckles]
158
00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,692
Whoa.
159
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,564
I almost just double dipped.
160
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:31,303
So...
161
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:37,048
So, uh, Dave, who do you think'’s
gonna win the fight?
162
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,354
Well, I don'’t know much
about these two fighters.
163
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:43,359
But Camargo is undefeated
against southpaws,
164
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,882
and nobody cuts the ring off
better than he does.
165
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,669
And then, Posley
166
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,192
does have
a three-inch reach advantage
167
00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:51,889
and a pretty solid chin.
168
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:54,544
[chuckles]
169
00:06:57,286 --> 00:07:00,332
But I'’m rooting for Posley
'’cause I like his purple shorts.
170
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,687
[chuckles]:
Hey, guys. Big fight night.
171
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,080
Oh, I see the
jicama'’s in season.
172
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:11,387
Yeah.
173
00:07:12,562 --> 00:07:15,391
Whoa. Wh-What'’s wrong
with the TV?
174
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,088
Why'’s it all pixelated
like that?
175
00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:18,916
I don'’t know.
I paid for the fight.
176
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,136
Well, maybe something'’s blocking
the satellite dish.
177
00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:23,312
Well, Marty, do something.
You work on satellites.
178
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:25,880
Yeah, in space.
179
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:30,275
Then it should be easier
down here.
180
00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:32,103
Okay.
181
00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:34,279
Let'’s just go outside
and take a look.
182
00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:36,543
[grunts]
183
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:38,719
I told you we shouldn'’t
have invited Dave.
184
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,068
Oh, he had nothing to do
with this.
185
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:41,286
I didn'’t say he did.
186
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,509
Oh, there'’s the problem.
187
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:48,511
The branch from Dave'’s tree
is blocking the signal.
188
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:51,209
I knew this was Dave'’s fault.
189
00:07:51,253 --> 00:07:52,950
How is this my fault?
190
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:55,126
Because you don'’t trim
your trees enough.
191
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:58,347
Old raggedy-ass branches
just waving around
192
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:01,132
like one of those things
in front of a used car lot.
193
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:05,093
You know, it'’s a
California oak.
194
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,269
I can'’t trim it. They're
protected by law.
195
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:09,576
Oh. That must be why
196
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:11,578
the cop cars cruise by here
three times a day.
197
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:14,015
Yes, hi.
It'’s Dave Johnson.
198
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,712
Local homeowner.
199
00:08:15,756 --> 00:08:17,279
Yeah, we have a bit
of a tree conun...
200
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:20,500
[chain saw buzzing loudly]
201
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:21,892
Marty, get the ladder.
202
00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:23,851
Whoa, whoa, Pop, Pop,
you are not climbing
203
00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,853
on some old, rickety roof
with a chain saw.
204
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,115
I'’ll be fine.
205
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:28,246
How do you know that?
206
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,814
'’Cause you're gonna do it.
207
00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:33,600
No, I'’m not. You heard Dave.
Trimming an oak is illegal.
208
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,515
I done stayed out of jail
this long.
209
00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:37,473
I'’m not going in
for assaulting a tree.
210
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,563
Hmm. Okay.
Then Marty will do it.
211
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:43,261
[laughs]:
Oh, Dad, uh...
212
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:46,526
you know I would do anything
to prove to you that I am a man,
213
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:49,920
but I'’m scared of heights, and I
just ate a lot of jicama, so...
214
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:54,055
Fine. Since none
of you will do it,
215
00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:55,230
I guess I will.
216
00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:56,405
No, you won'’t.
217
00:08:58,146 --> 00:09:00,714
Give me the chain saw.
218
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:04,456
Really?
Mr. I Like His Purple Shorts?
219
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:07,024
Yeah, that'’s right.
Look, it'’s my tree.
220
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:09,331
My property.
My responsibility.
221
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:11,986
Okay. Go ahead.
222
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:14,510
Wait, wait. Dave, are you sure
you know how to use that thing?
223
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,164
Oh, relax.Whoa, man!
224
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,383
[chain saw revs]
225
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:20,603
I got this.
Now, before I go up there,
226
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,474
I'’m gonna need two things:
hold the ladder and...
227
00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:25,086
...watch out for Five-O.
228
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:30,265
[women cheering loudly,
rap music playing]
229
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,401
I don'’t know about this.
230
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,012
You don'’t know about what?
231
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:39,666
Hot men?
232
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:44,235
It'’s just, this isn't
my kind of thing.
233
00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:45,628
I know Donny and Marie
234
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:48,849
are a solid five
out of five stars on Yelp.
235
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:52,461
Yeah, but that guy has a
solid six out of six abs.
236
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:55,420
Tina! That is somebody'’s son.
237
00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:57,248
Mm-hmm. And somebody
raised him right!
238
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,337
Okay. Okay.
239
00:09:59,381 --> 00:10:01,949
But what would Calvin think
if he knew you were here
240
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:04,473
surrounded by all these
hot, shirtless guys?
241
00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:06,431
He doesn'’t care.
In our house,
242
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:08,172
it doesn'’t matter where
you get your appetite,
243
00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:09,826
as long as you
come home to eat.
244
00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:15,876
Okay, I'’m up.
245
00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:18,618
Looking good, Dave!
246
00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,097
He is gonna die.
247
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:25,320
Come on, man, get to it!
Fight starts in five minutes.
248
00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:27,322
Okay, here we go.
249
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:30,630
[chain saw revving]Whoa. [laughs]
250
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,981
It really shakes in your hands!
251
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:39,421
Maybe I should call 911 now so
they'’re already on their way.
252
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,466
[chain saw revving]
253
00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:43,120
I can'’t reach it.
254
00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:44,295
All right, then-then
just come back down, man.
255
00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,470
Don'’t risk it.
256
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:48,082
Or get up on your tippy-toes!
257
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,431
[mouthing]
258
00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,302
[chain saw revving]
259
00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,653
I'’m so close!
260
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,526
Whoa!
261
00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:58,832
Be careful, David!
262
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,703
Yeah, seriously, man!
That'’s a new chain saw!
263
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,662
Almost got it.
264
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:05,882
[laughs]:
Oh!
265
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:08,015
Yes!
266
00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:09,886
[whoops] Oh!All right!
267
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,758
I told you I could do it!
268
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,760
Hey, y-you know what?
You sure did, man. Now, please,
269
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:15,022
just come on
down, all right?
270
00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:17,198
Okay, okay.
But seriously,
271
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:19,156
you should'’ve seen the look
on your faces
272
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,941
when you thought
I was gonna-- Whoa! Whoa!
273
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:23,726
Oh, Daddy, no! Ooh!
274
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,728
Oh, Pop! Pop!
275
00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,904
Oh, Pop.
276
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,168
[grunting]
277
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:40,700
Oh, my God, Calvin.
If you didn'’t break my fall,
278
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:44,486
I could be dead
right now.
279
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:47,445
I know. That'’s what I keep
thinking, too.
280
00:11:47,489 --> 00:11:50,405
Are you sure you don'’t want
to go to the hospital?
281
00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:51,449
Oh, no, I'’m fine.
Thank you, though.
282
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,277
[mouths]
283
00:11:53,321 --> 00:11:55,715
You-- oh, you-you mean Calvin.
284
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:58,674
No, I'’m-I'm all right; it'’s just
my back'’s out a little bit.
285
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,328
Help-help me sit down.
286
00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,199
All right. Easy.Okay, you know,
the craziest part
287
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,245
was how Dave bounced
off of you and landed
288
00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:05,768
right back on top of you.
289
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,727
Like, the science of that
290
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:09,946
is-is...
291
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:12,166
Maybe that'’s for another time.
292
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:15,517
All I know is this damn TV
better be working.
293
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:16,910
[screams]
294
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:17,911
Pop, Pop.Get the remote, Marty.
295
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,608
Yeah, I got it,
I got it.
296
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,218
[TV turns on]Hey, it'’s working.
297
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:23,830
[strains]:
Oh, man, this is killing me.
298
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,267
Gosh, Calvin, you know,
I can'’t help
299
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:28,356
but feel somewhat responsible
for all this.
300
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:33,796
You know what?
Let me run next door and get you
301
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,016
some of Gemma'’s prescription
muscle relaxants.
302
00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:37,800
Why does Gemma have
muscle relaxants?
303
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,454
Oh, well, the doctor
just gave them to her
304
00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:40,803
for when her menstrual cramps
get real bad.
305
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:44,067
Oh.
306
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:48,550
I'’m not taking your wife's
period pills, Dave.
307
00:12:48,593 --> 00:12:50,813
No, no, no, Calvin,
they'’re not her period pills.
308
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,597
They'’re just the pills she takes
when she'’s on her period.
309
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:54,469
[grunts]
310
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:56,645
[shouts]MALCOLM:
Whoa, whoa, Pop.
311
00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:58,342
You just can'’t sit here
like this, man.
312
00:12:58,386 --> 00:12:59,779
Yeah, man,
you look miserable.
313
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:00,780
Yeah, you know what?
They'’re right.
314
00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:02,172
Luckily, Calvin,
315
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:04,566
I have another
solution.
316
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:07,743
I give an amazing massage.
317
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,789
Get the pills.
Get the damn pills, Dave!
318
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:15,316
[whoops]
Yeah! Work it, baby.
319
00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:17,057
Hump that floor!
320
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,104
I think
I'’m starting to get it.
321
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:23,890
All of these men are here
for ourpleasure,
322
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,196
asking what we want.
323
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,372
No one ever asks women
what they want.
324
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:31,158
Look at him twirling
that T-shirt over his head
325
00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:32,507
like a sexy helicopter.
326
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:36,293
It'’s almost as if
327
00:13:36,337 --> 00:13:39,035
Magic Mikeis the ultimate
expression of feminism.
328
00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:43,387
Oh! Oh-oh-oh! Black Hawk down!
329
00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:44,736
[laughs]
330
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:47,000
I'’m going--
oh, oh, oh, oh! Wait.
331
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:48,088
Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
332
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:49,785
Come on!
We'’re going to the stage.
333
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,613
What-what? Wait, wait, wait!
Tina! Tina!
334
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,310
I don'’t think I'm ready
for this much feminism.
335
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,098
What'’s about to happen?
336
00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:00,752
Magic, Gemma. Magic.
337
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:06,976
Wow, round five and
Posley'’s still in it.Well, yeah,
338
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:08,369
but look how much he'’s bleeding.
339
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:09,849
Ah, get him, Camargo!
340
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:13,461
Hey, Pop, those pills
making you feel any better?
341
00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:15,289
[slurring]:
Actually...
342
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,728
...quite a bit.
343
00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:24,167
But why do these guys keep
hitting each other like that?
344
00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:28,258
With all of the violence
in the world,
345
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,260
don'’t you think
it'’s a better way
346
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:31,871
they can solve their problems?
347
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:36,223
Um, like what?
348
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:39,661
Like a dance-off.
349
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:41,663
Or a staring contest?
350
00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:52,630
Yeah, let... let-let me
see those pills.
351
00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:55,068
Just...
352
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:59,028
"The side effects may include
dizziness, drowsiness,
353
00:14:59,072 --> 00:15:02,292
and emotional sensitivity."
354
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:06,079
What the world needs is love.
355
00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:10,822
Okay, look--
I-I only gave him two.
356
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:13,086
Oh, wait.
I just gave him two.
357
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,090
Can I give him two more?
358
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,878
Malcolm. Malcolm,
where are you, boy?
359
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,271
Yeah-- hey, hey, hey, hey, Pop.
360
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:25,141
I'’m sitting
right next to you, man.
361
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:28,579
Oh. There you are.Yeah.
362
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:29,841
Come here, son.
363
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:32,583
O-Okay.
364
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:34,107
Malcolm.
Yeah?
365
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,239
You'’re my firstborn son.
366
00:15:36,283 --> 00:15:37,632
Yeah.
367
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:39,677
And I love you, boy.Uh-huh.
368
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,333
Hey, uh, thanks, Pop.Yeah.
369
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:45,031
Marty?
370
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,338
Yes, Dad?
371
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:51,515
I was just seeing
if you were still here.
372
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,608
O-Okay. Okay.
373
00:15:57,652 --> 00:16:00,655
Okay, guys, I-I'’m starting
to get a little worried.
374
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,700
Calvin, you'’ve ingested
some pretty serious drugs,
375
00:16:02,744 --> 00:16:05,225
and you'’re experiencing
side effects.
376
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,795
Is there anything
you need?
377
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,148
Well, you know what?
378
00:16:15,191 --> 00:16:18,151
Now that you mention it,
there is.
379
00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:21,981
Ok-Okay, what is it?
380
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:24,984
Does that offer for a back rub
still stand?
381
00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:39,911
You guys heard him!
He asked.
382
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:44,829
[women cheering,
R&B music playing]
383
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,183
[gasps] Oh! Oh.Yeah.
384
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,057
Hi, I'’m Gemma.
385
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:58,060
I really appreciate
your progressiveness
386
00:16:58,104 --> 00:16:59,105
and your willingness
to objectify yourself
387
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:00,497
for my pleasure.
388
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:03,805
Gemma, shut up and
make some noise!
389
00:17:03,848 --> 00:17:05,328
[whoops][whoops, chuckles]
390
00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:07,678
Now, where are you comfortable
with me putting my hands?
391
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:10,333
That works.
392
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:12,292
Come on, Gemma,
get out of your head.
393
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,381
This is our girls'’ trip.
394
00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:17,123
You'’re right.
Like Thelma and Louise.
395
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:18,863
Yes. There you go.Yeah.
396
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:20,300
Now, come on, Thelma.
Do you trust me?
397
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:21,866
I do, Louise.
398
00:17:21,910 --> 00:17:23,738
Do you trust in the magic
of Vegas?
399
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:24,913
Yes.
400
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,001
And of our girls'’ trips?
401
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:29,222
Ooh-- okay.
402
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:31,093
Then, come on, girl,
let'’s ride this thing
403
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,268
over the cliff together!
404
00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:35,445
You sit down.
I can do this.
405
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,665
See, I used to do
this back in the day.
406
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:39,449
Hey, hey.
407
00:17:48,763 --> 00:17:50,939
[women cheering]
408
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:54,073
And to think, after this, we can
still go to Donny and Marie!
409
00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,686
Okay, Calvin,
how we doing?
410
00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:00,949
[slurring]:
I don'’t know what your hands
411
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:04,474
are doing back there, Dave,
but don'’t stop.
412
00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:08,739
Do you think Pop'’s
gonna remember any of this?
413
00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:11,612
No, I don'’t.
414
00:18:11,655 --> 00:18:13,962
Which is why I'’ve
been recording.
415
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,575
Okay.
416
00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:21,143
I think we got
all the knots out.
417
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:23,145
Oh, man, fight'’s over.
418
00:18:23,189 --> 00:18:24,581
Yeah, but I think
we can all agree
419
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,105
that this was
the main event.
420
00:18:29,456 --> 00:18:31,980
How you doing, Calvin?
You feeling okay?
421
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,808
Oh, so much better.
422
00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:36,071
You know what?
423
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,466
Dave, I... have to admit,
424
00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:42,991
when Malcolm first suggested
inviting you tonight,
425
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:46,690
I was like "Boo.
426
00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:49,258
Bad idea."
427
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:53,871
But now I'’m more like,
"Yay!
428
00:18:53,915 --> 00:18:55,699
Dave'’s here."
429
00:18:57,658 --> 00:18:59,703
Well, I-I'’m glad
you came around.
430
00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:03,359
Now, don'’t tell you
I said this.
431
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,408
I don'’t give you
enough credit.
432
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:12,107
I mean, you'’re not as soft
as I thought.
433
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,936
Sure, yeah,
you smile too much
434
00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:17,939
and you go
to Disneyland by yourself...
435
00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:27,427
...but you, you got up
on that roof with a chain saw
436
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,299
and you did something
dangerous and stupid.
437
00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:35,348
And to me, that'’s a man.
438
00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:41,136
I appreciate that, Calvin.
439
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,182
Okeydokey.
440
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:45,096
My eyes are gonna
go to sleep now.
441
00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:54,367
Sweet dreams, buddy.
442
00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:59,154
Oh, and I'’m gonna
need copies of that
443
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,330
texted and e-mailed to me
immediately!
444
00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:03,289
[mouthing]
445
00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:11,166
Hey, Dave.
446
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,994
Oh, hey, Calvin.
How'’s the back?
447
00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:16,432
Eh, a little sore, but better.
448
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:18,869
Man, those pills were strong.
449
00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:21,394
I don'’t even remember the fight.
450
00:20:21,437 --> 00:20:24,397
[chuckles]:
Oh, well, uh...
451
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,485
you enjoyed it.
452
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:31,491
Oh, hey, honey.
How was your trip?
453
00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:33,449
I'’ll tell you
all about it inside.
454
00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:34,668
Well, you don'’t want
to grab your bag...Nope.
455
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,060
Mama came home hungry.
456
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:40,195
[door closes]
457
00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:45,896
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Tina, I know that look,
458
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:47,898
but, baby,
I hurt my back, okay?
459
00:20:47,942 --> 00:20:50,379
Oh, you poor baby.
460
00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:52,338
It'’s a good thing
I only need your front.
461
00:20:55,166 --> 00:20:56,907
All right, all right.
462
00:20:56,951 --> 00:20:59,214
But first, let me take
my period pills.
463
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,171
All right.
464
00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:08,963
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
465
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:10,617
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
466
00:21:10,667 --> 00:21:15,217
Repair and Synchronization by
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