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1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:03,670
The show's on!
2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,290
Adult Timmy:
In 1972, there were a lot of crazy game shows on TV.
3
00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:07,380
"Hollywood Squares,"
"Let's Make a Deal,"
4
00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:10,830
but the strangest one of all
was The Vietnam Draft Lottery.
5
00:00:10,830 --> 00:00:13,830
Newsman:
We come to you tonight from Selective Service Headquarters
6
00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:16,790
in Washington, D.C.,
for the draft lottery...
7
00:00:16,790 --> 00:00:18,790
Adult Timmy:
It was like the show "Truth or Consequences,"
8
00:00:18,790 --> 00:00:20,750
except the consequences
were life and death,
9
00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:22,960
and my family struggled with
telling the truth about it.
10
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,460
Whatever happens
with this,
11
00:00:24,460 --> 00:00:26,080
your country's gonna
take care of you.
12
00:00:26,080 --> 00:00:28,420
Frank burned the popcorn.
It's ruined.
13
00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:30,120
-You get all the kernels?
-Every last one.
14
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,580
Then it's delicious.
15
00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:34,960
-Eddie's war show on?
-It just started.
16
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:36,330
[ Door closes ]
Well, sorry we're late.
17
00:00:36,330 --> 00:00:38,380
Wendi was trying to teach me
how to change lanes
18
00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:40,420
and I just
couldn't get over.
19
00:00:40,420 --> 00:00:43,290
You know, if you keep driving,
there's a place called Sylmar?
20
00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:45,380
I'm so nervous
for you, Eddie. Me?
21
00:00:45,380 --> 00:00:46,790
You're the one
driving with my mom.
22
00:00:46,790 --> 00:00:48,330
Even if they pick
Eddie's birthday,
23
00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:50,380
he won't get called up until
he graduates from high school.
24
00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:51,830
Hear that, Pat?
25
00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:53,670
You'll probably
go to Vietnam before he does.
26
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:55,790
I'll win the war
with karate-chops!
27
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:58,380
You can't use karate-chops.
That's their thing.
28
00:00:58,380 --> 00:01:00,040
How are you doing?
29
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:02,290
Whatever happens,
my country's going to take care of me.
30
00:01:02,290 --> 00:01:03,460
[ Chuckles ] Yeah,
they'll take care of you.
31
00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:04,920
They'll give you a gun,
a pine box
32
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:06,080
and Mom and Dad
get a free flag.
33
00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,830
Wow, Lawrence
coming in hot.
34
00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:10,080
Well, we could use
a new flag --
35
00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,170
thank you,
Alaska and Hawaii.
36
00:01:12,170 --> 00:01:14,040
Like I'm gonna spring
for a new fifty-star flag
37
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,750
with Puerto Rico
knocking on the door.
38
00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:17,380
To anyone sensible,
39
00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:19,330
this would look like
a family "in no mood."
40
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:21,040
But my young eyes
saw nine people
41
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,620
facing the same direction,
42
00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:24,080
AKA an audience.
43
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,460
Ladies and gentlemen!
44
00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:30,420
I have here
two ordinary
45
00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:32,920
sterling silver rings!
46
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:34,330
That's steel
with chrome plating.
47
00:01:34,330 --> 00:01:36,080
You paid for silver,
the guy saw you coming.
48
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:37,920
Magic is scary.
49
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,000
The only thing scary
about magic
50
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,500
is the weird,
lonely men who do it.
51
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,830
Timmy, scram.
52
00:01:43,420 --> 00:01:45,120
They're calling
the first birthday.
53
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,750
It was both ceremonial
and darkly absurd.
54
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:48,670
A congressman
pulled a random date.
55
00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:50,830
And every draft-age boy
with that birthday
56
00:01:50,830 --> 00:01:53,540
moved up in the line
to be sent off to war.
57
00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:55,250
I cannot wait
to do my duty.
58
00:01:55,250 --> 00:01:57,670
Go overseas and kill Nazis
like Dad did.
59
00:01:57,670 --> 00:01:59,120
There aren't any Nazis
in this war.
60
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,500
'Cause Dad got 'em all!
61
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,460
Peggy: Honestly,
the rigmarole.
62
00:02:02,460 --> 00:02:04,000
I'll just say it --
I hope they give you a pass.
63
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,540
-Thank you, Mrs. Cleary.
-Absolutely.
64
00:02:05,540 --> 00:02:07,750
Eddie's too nice
to kill anyone in a war --
65
00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:09,750
at least on purpose.
66
00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:11,830
Sweetie, no offense,
nobody wants to see
67
00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:14,960
that frantic moon-pie face
last thing before they die.
68
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,580
If he gets called,
he'll do his duty. Period.
69
00:02:16,580 --> 00:02:20,040
But if you do get drafted,
you have choices.
70
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,750
Sure. What do you
want the guys
71
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:22,750
in your outfit
to call you,
72
00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,330
Eddie or Ed?
That's your choice.
73
00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:26,330
I'm gonna
go by Francis.
74
00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:28,620
[ Sarcastically ]
Ooh, that'll put fear in the heart of the enemy.
75
00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:30,540
-I know.
-I was talking about deferments.
76
00:02:30,540 --> 00:02:32,290
I know a guy who ate
only celery for six weeks,
77
00:02:32,290 --> 00:02:34,040
and the night before
his physical sat in a steam room
78
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,500
until he was down
to 115 pounds.
79
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:38,080
Oh, there's a profile
in courage.
80
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,210
And then, of course,
there's always Canada --
81
00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:42,380
Oh, no. No son of mine
is going to Canada.
82
00:02:42,380 --> 00:02:44,920
That place accepts
every low-life and coward.
83
00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:46,920
The whole country's
un-American.
84
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,540
I have always wanted
to see Banff.
85
00:02:48,540 --> 00:02:49,960
The best plan
is ending this craziness
86
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,540
so that nobody else
has to go.
87
00:02:51,540 --> 00:02:53,580
There's a huge march
against the war on Wednesday.
88
00:02:53,580 --> 00:02:55,790
So I guess by Thursday,
it'll all be over --
89
00:02:55,790 --> 00:02:58,620
maybe...Wednesday afternoon
if you march real good.
90
00:02:58,620 --> 00:03:00,290
Man:
October 28th...
91
00:03:00,290 --> 00:03:02,580
I can't believe this.
This says that I've...
92
00:03:02,580 --> 00:03:04,580
lost my deferment.
93
00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:06,080
They're gonna put you
in the lottery, too?
94
00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:08,790
No lottery for me.
95
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,420
I've been drafted.
96
00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:15,460
♪♪
97
00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:17,500
Some really tense stuff
in there.
98
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:20,580
Let me take your minds off
your troubles, good sirs.
99
00:03:20,580 --> 00:03:22,670
The next show
is about to begin!
100
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,170
The price is one dollar.
101
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:25,710
Absolutely free!
102
00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:27,620
No, you give me
a dollar.
103
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:30,040
Which is reasonable considering
what they pay test subjects
104
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,210
for enduring painful
medical experiments.
105
00:03:32,210 --> 00:03:34,250
"Report for Army induction
and training
106
00:03:34,250 --> 00:03:37,790
to Fort Irwin in Barstow,
California..." in eight days.
107
00:03:37,790 --> 00:03:39,460
Adult Timmy: My mom was upset
by what the U.S. Army
108
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:41,040
wanted to do to her family.
109
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,460
But not having nuclear weapons,
110
00:03:42,460 --> 00:03:44,670
she went off against
a less formidable foe.
111
00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:46,460
Barstow?
112
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:47,750
I mean, they probably
send you to Barstow first
113
00:03:47,750 --> 00:03:49,210
so Vietnam
doesn't seem so bad.
114
00:03:49,210 --> 00:03:51,120
Barstow's not
the problem, Mom.
115
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:52,460
It is for the people
who live there.
116
00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:55,080
Ugh, I lost my religious
studies deferment.
117
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:56,290
'Cause you washed out
at the seminary.
118
00:03:56,290 --> 00:03:57,460
I didn't wash out.
119
00:03:57,460 --> 00:03:59,210
I made a thoughtful,
informed choice.
120
00:03:59,210 --> 00:04:00,670
Yeah, now your
only choice is,
121
00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,880
do you want to be called
Lawrence or Buzzcut?
122
00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:04,250
'Cause trust me,
the Army --
123
00:04:04,250 --> 00:04:05,880
they're not putting up
with that salad.
124
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,750
Here I was, worried about
getting called up
125
00:04:07,750 --> 00:04:09,500
in eight or nine months,
and you --
126
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:12,080
-Eight days.
-I'm so sorry, Lawrence.
127
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,880
Okay, you just go back
to the seminary
128
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,670
until this whole
war thing blows over.
129
00:04:15,670 --> 00:04:17,460
Look, I know the priesthood's
not your "calling" anymore,
130
00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:19,170
but I was never really
"called" to be a mother.
131
00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:21,170
You make the best
of a bad situation.
132
00:04:21,170 --> 00:04:22,880
-And we appreciate it, Mom.
-Yeah.
133
00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,120
I'm not going to
the seminary,
134
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,460
and I'm not going
to Fort Irwin.
135
00:04:25,460 --> 00:04:27,120
I'm calling my friend
in Canada.
136
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,670
Oh, here we go.
No, you are not using my phone
137
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,250
for any draft-dodging
calls.
138
00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:32,960
Especially not
long-distance!
139
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,790
Fine.
I'll go use the pay phone
140
00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:36,330
over at
the Kentucky Fried Chicken!
141
00:04:36,330 --> 00:04:38,500
Be sure to thank the Colonel
for his service!
142
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:39,540
[ Door slams ]
143
00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:45,080
I have a couple more
thoughts about Barstow...
144
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,120
I have poured ordinary
Rice Krispies
145
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,670
into this
ordinary bowl.
146
00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:52,170
Everything around here
is ordinary.
147
00:04:52,170 --> 00:04:53,540
You don't have
to keep rubbing it in.
148
00:04:53,540 --> 00:04:55,120
He's still doing
his dumb magic?
149
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,460
There's a lot of windup
on this one.
150
00:04:57,460 --> 00:04:59,580
We all know
that newspapers
151
00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:01,750
can hold
valuable information.
152
00:05:01,750 --> 00:05:03,330
But can they
hold...
153
00:05:03,330 --> 00:05:04,250
milk?
154
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:07,000
[ Milk pouring ]
155
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,000
Hey, stupid!
Stop that!
156
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,830
It's gonna make a mess
on Mom's floor.
157
00:05:15,710 --> 00:05:17,670
Or is it?
158
00:05:17,670 --> 00:05:20,170
W-Where --
Where'd it go?
159
00:05:20,170 --> 00:05:21,580
Wait a minute.
[ Muffled crackling ]
160
00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:23,580
What's that I hear?
161
00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:25,620
Snap, Crackle, Pop.
162
00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:27,040
[ Drumroll ]
163
00:05:29,210 --> 00:05:30,920
I have no idea
how you did that.
164
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,380
Or why.
165
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,250
[ Stammers ]
166
00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:37,000
You didn't make
that milk disappear.
167
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,170
It's obviously
a trick!
168
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,620
Of course it's a trick,
Frank.
169
00:05:39,620 --> 00:05:41,250
You're kind of
missing the point.
170
00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:43,620
I'm not missing anything.
You're not magic!
171
00:05:43,620 --> 00:05:45,960
Like most so-called
entertainment --
172
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,750
movies, love songs --
i-it's just lying.
173
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:50,830
I remember that speech from
when you stood up in the theater
174
00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:53,250
and ruined "Herbie the Love Bug"
for everyone.
175
00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:54,880
This is why I don't
do tricks for you.
176
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:56,790
You can't handle it.
What I can't handle
177
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,540
is you acting like the laws of
physics don't apply to you.
178
00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:01,290
Do it again!
And you're gonna keep doing it
179
00:06:01,290 --> 00:06:03,380
until I figure out
how it works.
180
00:06:03,380 --> 00:06:05,500
Are you sure you want
to put yourself through this?
181
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,040
It might make you
more unhappy.
182
00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,120
Not possible.
[ Taps on table ]
183
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,920
Man: August 10th.
August one-zero.
184
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,920
I couldn't get
ahold of my friend.
185
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,290
Oh, do you think he might be
"dodging" your phone call?
186
00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:18,250
The boys there are
men of conscience
187
00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:20,420
who don't want to participate
in an unjust war.
188
00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:21,830
If they don't
want to participate,
189
00:06:21,830 --> 00:06:23,000
they don't belong
in this country.
190
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,710
That's why
they went to Canada.
191
00:06:24,710 --> 00:06:26,420
Hey, Eddie,
that's your birthday!
192
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:27,830
Oh, no.
193
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:30,380
February 22nd.
February two-two.
194
00:06:30,380 --> 00:06:31,710
What did you win?
195
00:06:31,710 --> 00:06:34,170
Oh, he won that
Eddie and other boys
196
00:06:34,170 --> 00:06:37,290
with the same birthday
are going to the war.
197
00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:39,120
You can all have
cake together!
198
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,920
This seems crazy.
199
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,040
It's a proud moment.
We need to celebrate.
200
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:44,710
Peg, we have
any champagne?
201
00:06:44,710 --> 00:06:47,250
I have some distilled water
I use for ironing.
202
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:49,040
What exactly
are we celebrating?
203
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,290
The day my two boys
are called to serve --
204
00:06:51,290 --> 00:06:52,750
even if one of them
runs to Canada.
205
00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:54,790
Peg, ironing water
for everybody.
206
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:55,920
Yeah.
207
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,620
You don't really
feel like celebrating,
208
00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:03,040
do you, Mrs. Cleary?
[ Sighs ]
209
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,920
I don't know what
I can do about it yet.
210
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,960
Anyway,
the joke's on Mike.
211
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,750
I've been refilling this
from the tap.
212
00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:12,210
This is your generation's
war, Eddie.
213
00:07:12,210 --> 00:07:14,710
It's an opportunity for you
to distinguish yourself.
214
00:07:14,710 --> 00:07:16,710
Boys go over there
and they come back men.
215
00:07:16,710 --> 00:07:17,880
Unless they
don't come back.
216
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:19,420
Don't listen
to Negative Nelly.
217
00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:20,710
I know you're gonna
make me proud, son.
218
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,040
Aye aye, captain!
219
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,290
[ Breathing heavily ]
220
00:07:33,710 --> 00:07:35,540
[ Retches, spits ]
221
00:07:38,380 --> 00:07:40,880
Lawrence...
[ Chuckles ]
222
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:42,330
Kid's driving me
up the wall
223
00:07:42,330 --> 00:07:45,330
with his thoughts
and ideas.
224
00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:46,620
Thank God we don't have
that problem with Eddie.
225
00:07:46,620 --> 00:07:48,210
Seems pretty greedy,
226
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:50,000
the Army trying to take
two of our boys.
227
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,210
And we get
no say about it?
228
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:53,420
At the very least,
229
00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:55,540
they should let me pick
which two we send.
230
00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:57,380
That would keep
these kids in line.
231
00:07:57,380 --> 00:07:58,830
[ Door opens ]
Mommy, I had a bad dream.
232
00:07:58,830 --> 00:07:59,920
Can I sleep
in your bed?
233
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,960
-Pat.
-It's okay, Mike.
234
00:08:05,290 --> 00:08:07,670
What was
your dream about?
235
00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,170
War.
Hmm...
236
00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:11,250
Will I have to go
to Vietnam someday?
237
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:12,960
Oh, honey.
[ Sighs ]
238
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,460
That's not
gonna happen.
239
00:08:15,460 --> 00:08:17,880
There will be a whole
different war by then.
240
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,210
I only hope you and I
are on the same side.
241
00:08:20,210 --> 00:08:22,000
Adult Timmy: The events of
the day also weighed heavily
242
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,290
on other members of the family.
243
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,670
Timmy, I need to know
where the milk went!
244
00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:30,040
To know what? Why -- Why are
your hands so sweaty?
245
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:31,330
Endocrine problems.
246
00:08:31,330 --> 00:08:33,580
Don't try to cleverly change
the subject.
247
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,960
Frank,
we are trying to sleep.
248
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,880
Nobody sleeps until
Timmy explains his trick.
249
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,880
Joey: [ Exhales sharply ]
Just tell him how you do it.
250
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,790
But I swore an oath
to the Ancient Brotherhood
251
00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:44,250
of Magicians, Jugglers
and Fire-eaters.
252
00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:46,460
Even if the enemy takes me
captive, I can't tell.
253
00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:48,420
-What enemy?
-The Fraternal Order of Mimes,
254
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:50,210
Unicyclists and
Sword-swallowers.
255
00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:53,500
Frank, why not try to enjoy
Timmy's trick for what it is?
256
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,330
Life becomes
so much less wondrous
257
00:08:55,330 --> 00:08:57,000
when you strip away
all of its mysteries.
258
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,250
Okay!
If it shuts you up,
259
00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:00,880
I'll give you the secret
of Timmy's dumb trick.
260
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:02,830
"Dumb trick," but we're all
talking about it.
261
00:09:02,830 --> 00:09:04,290
I've sworn no oaths
262
00:09:04,290 --> 00:09:06,920
and I'm not frightened
of sword-swallowers.
263
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,500
It's the mimes
you have to watch out for.
264
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,170
But you'll have to wait
'til tomorrow,
265
00:09:10,170 --> 00:09:11,580
after a good night's
sleep.
266
00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:13,830
For the friends-and-family
price of ten dollars.
267
00:09:13,830 --> 00:09:14,960
Shake on it.
268
00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:19,040
Oh, you weren't kidding.
That hand is like an armpit.
269
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,620
-Then you should feel my ankles.
-Frank, turn out the light.
270
00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:21,710
Turn --
[ Door slams ]
271
00:09:24,670 --> 00:09:27,540
You being drafted just makes
me feel so powerless.
272
00:09:28,540 --> 00:09:29,580
I'm sorry.
273
00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:30,920
If I could,
274
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,120
you know I'd trade places
with you.
275
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,670
But you heard Lawrence.
276
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:36,670
There are options
we could try.
277
00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:38,380
Uh, you could get
a college deferment.
278
00:09:38,380 --> 00:09:40,790
You said you wouldn't push
this college stuff on me.
279
00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:43,670
I'm reconsidering now that
the other option is death.
280
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,880
I think it's just better if
I see this draft thing through.
281
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,080
I've got an opportunity
to distinguish myself here.
282
00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:52,790
That's exactly
what your dad said.
283
00:09:52,790 --> 00:09:54,620
You're doing this
just to impress him.
284
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:56,040
No.
285
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:57,580
But he was impressed,
right?
286
00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:59,420
I'm not just
imagining that.
287
00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:00,790
Will you talk some sense
to your brother?
288
00:10:00,790 --> 00:10:02,040
Don't let Dad
bully you.
289
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,620
You gotta think
for yourself.
290
00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:04,830
Do what Lawrence
tells you --
291
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:05,960
think for yourself.
292
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,710
I'll be back later for
your mom's driving lesson.
293
00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:14,540
Please, talk to him.
294
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,040
Wendi said I should talk to you,
so here goes.
295
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,540
I enjoy
playing basketball.
296
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:27,460
I do as well.
297
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,710
Shall we?
298
00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:30,080
What a lovely talk.
299
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,040
Horse!
300
00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:34,920
What's the secret
of Timmy's trick?
301
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,290
Who are you calling?
302
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,710
[ Rotary phone dialing ]
303
00:10:43,710 --> 00:10:46,120
"Abraca-Dave's
Magic Shop"?
304
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,540
I could have called
a magic shop.
305
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,330
But could you get the top guy
on the phone? [ Ringing ]
306
00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:51,330
Man: Hello?
307
00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:52,920
Hi.
Abraca-Dave, please.
308
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,040
[ Cash register rings ]
There is no Dave.
309
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,290
That was just
brilliant marketing.
310
00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:58,790
You're talking
to The Great Pepe.
311
00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:00,750
Hi, Pepe. I'm wondering
if you're familiar
312
00:11:00,750 --> 00:11:03,080
with the trick where milk
is poured into the newspaper
313
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,040
and then --
-Ah, The Reappearing Cow.
314
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,670
That's part of
our breakfast line.
315
00:11:06,670 --> 00:11:09,250
I usually pair it with
The Pancakes of Doom.
316
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:11,080
I need to know how
the milk thing works.
317
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,040
Son, I can't just
go around divulging --
318
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,330
Wait a minute.
319
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:16,080
Are you
by any chance a mime?
320
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,620
If I was a mime,
would I be talking to you?
321
00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:21,620
[ Sympathetically ] I'm asking
for my dying grandfather.
322
00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:23,000
[ Whispering ] Make a noise
like you're dying.
323
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,540
[ Stammers ]
Oh! Ah!! I've been shot!
324
00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:26,330
He's got dementia,
325
00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:29,170
but it's his dying wish
to understand that trick.
326
00:11:29,170 --> 00:11:31,170
Nice try, kid.
When your grandpa passes,
327
00:11:31,170 --> 00:11:32,380
I'll call him up
on the Ouija board
328
00:11:32,380 --> 00:11:33,580
and give him
the whole shpiel.
329
00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:35,210
Have a magical day.
330
00:11:35,210 --> 00:11:36,920
[ Dial tone ]
Tell Pepe I say hello.
331
00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:41,790
I want my money back.
No refunds.
332
00:11:41,790 --> 00:11:43,330
But my business
is built on
333
00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:46,000
customer satisfaction,
so...
334
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,460
I'm going to help you
re-create the trick.
335
00:11:48,460 --> 00:11:50,420
Anything to wipe that smug smile
off Timmy's face.
336
00:11:50,420 --> 00:11:53,080
The kid has really got my goat.
-I can help with that, too.
337
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,330
Goat recovery is, like,
80% of what I do.
338
00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:58,580
[ "I-Feel-Like-
I'm-Fixin'-To-Die Rag" plays ]
339
00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:01,460
♪♪
340
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:04,290
♪ Well, come on,
all of you big, strong men ♪
341
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,790
♪ Uncle Sam
needs your help again ♪
342
00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:08,380
♪ Yeah, he's got himself
in a terrible jam ♪
343
00:12:08,380 --> 00:12:10,330
♪ Way down yonder in Vietnam ♪
344
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,620
♪ So put down your books
and pick up a gun ♪
345
00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:14,500
♪ We're gonna have
a whole lotta fun ♪
346
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,750
♪ And it's one, two, three ♪
347
00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:18,540
♪ What are we fighting for? ♪
348
00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:20,790
♪ Don't ask me,
I don't give a damn ♪
349
00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:23,290
♪ Next stop is Vietnam ♪
350
00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:25,620
♪ And it's five, six, seven ♪
351
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,750
♪ Open up the pearly gates ♪
352
00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:30,290
♪ Well, there ain't no time
to wonder why ♪
353
00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:32,120
♪ Whoopee!
We're all gonna die ♪
354
00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,580
All right, I got one,
I got one.
355
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,540
Whoo!
356
00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:41,420
[ Laughter, basketball dribbling
in distance ]
357
00:12:49,790 --> 00:12:55,460
♪♪
358
00:12:55,460 --> 00:12:57,580
Oh! Good.
359
00:12:57,580 --> 00:12:59,500
Lawrence,
that doesn't count.
360
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:01,540
You get
one more turn.
361
00:13:01,540 --> 00:13:03,330
Nice shot!
362
00:13:03,330 --> 00:13:04,460
Come here, you!
Rrgh!
363
00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:05,710
Let's go!
364
00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:06,710
He's coming up,
he's coming up!
365
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:07,710
Yes!
366
00:13:07,710 --> 00:13:09,080
[ Sighs ]
367
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,830
-[ Laughs ]
-You can't do that!
368
00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:14,290
Mike:
House is gonna feel pretty empty without these two morons.
369
00:13:14,290 --> 00:13:16,170
I'd feel a lot better about this
if I understood
370
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,960
why the heck we were sending
our boys over there.
371
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,580
Well, the price we pay
for freedom is our young men defending it.
372
00:13:20,580 --> 00:13:23,210
No, when I said "our boys,"
I meant our boys.
373
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:24,540
I'm all for
the Flanigans exporting
374
00:13:24,540 --> 00:13:26,040
every one of
their drooling chimps.
375
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,040
We put a lot of work
into these two.
376
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,540
Honey, Communism is
on the march.
377
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:34,080
We give them Vietnam, they'll
take Thailand, Laos, and Burma.
378
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,040
None of those
are places I care about. If we don't fight them
379
00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:37,330
we'll end up fighting them
over here.
380
00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:38,710
Wouldn't that be
more convenient?
381
00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:40,250
Mike, I understood
World War II,
382
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:42,120
with Hitler and
all those wiseacres,
383
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,750
but this war doesn't even
have any decent villains.
384
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:47,120
Who am I supposed to hate
this time? Jane Fonda? That's a good place
385
00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,790
I don't want to see
Lawrence go to Canada,
386
00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:51,380
but if he chooses to, we need
to support that decision.
387
00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:53,170
[ Scoffs ] Oh, so now we're
trusting our idiot kids
388
00:13:53,170 --> 00:13:54,920
with important
life decisions?
389
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,080
Why not let Pat choose if
he wants to see the dentist?
390
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,460
Pat has never
been to a dentist.
391
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:00,210
Because we made
that decision for him.
392
00:14:00,210 --> 00:14:02,670
Lawrence is educated.
He's been out in the world.
393
00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:04,500
He stood on that spot where
you're in four states at once.
394
00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:06,880
I think he's smart enough
to make his own decisions.
395
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,500
Mom, Dad,
396
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,120
I've decided
I'm going to Vietnam.
397
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,710
Oh, shut up.
What do you know?
398
00:14:14,330 --> 00:14:16,460
So now you want
to go to Vietnam?
399
00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:17,670
Peg, Peg, he stood
on four states.
400
00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:19,620
If this is his decision,
we should stand by it.
401
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,920
Look, I've been thinking about
this mess, and if I don't go,
402
00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,380
the Army's not gonna say,
"Well, we're short one man,
403
00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:24,830
I guess
we have to forfeit."
404
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:26,290
They're just gonna
draft the next guy.
405
00:14:26,290 --> 00:14:28,040
As long as the next guy's
not my son!
406
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,580
Maybe he's someone terrible
that we're better off without.
407
00:14:30,580 --> 00:14:32,420
They could take an axe murderer
or Jerry Lewis --
408
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:34,210
we're all a little tired
of his antics.
409
00:14:34,210 --> 00:14:36,420
Or they could take Eddie --
you think of that?
410
00:14:36,420 --> 00:14:39,080
Or some other guy like Eddie.
And I couldn't live with myself
411
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,620
if something like that
were to happen.
412
00:14:40,620 --> 00:14:42,040
We're proud of you, son.
413
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,670
I'm not doing it
to make you proud.
414
00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:47,920
[ Door closes ]
415
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,040
All right, here we go.
416
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,040
Prepare to be
amazed and humiliated.
417
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,170
You might want to work
on your patter, Frank.
418
00:14:53,170 --> 00:14:56,210
Ignore the hecklers.
You're doing great.
419
00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:59,080
Ordinary newspaper...
420
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,920
Ordinary milk,
blah-blah-blah.
421
00:15:10,330 --> 00:15:13,960
And now the milk starts
magically disappearing...
422
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,620
disappearing...
423
00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:18,040
like right now.
424
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,040
[ Electrical whirring ]
425
00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:22,920
No milk...
426
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,000
...whatsoever.
427
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:29,790
Feel pretty stupid
yet?
428
00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:31,040
I'm okay.
429
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,500
And now for
the big, dumb finish
430
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,880
where the milk reappears
in the cereal.
431
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,210
Wh--
What's that I hear?
432
00:15:37,210 --> 00:15:39,500
Snap, crackle,
and eat it, Timmy!
433
00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:43,380
There! I did it!
434
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:46,460
I made a bowl of magic cereal
exactly as good as yours.
435
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:47,540
Ta-da!
436
00:15:49,670 --> 00:15:53,080
[ Timmy laughs ]
I feel like we were one rehearsal short.
437
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:56,790
[ Sarcastically ]
Yeah, you got me, Frank.
438
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,790
That is exactly
how it's done.
439
00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:00,290
[ Whirring continues ]
440
00:16:00,290 --> 00:16:02,710
[ Laughter ]
441
00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:04,000
Frank, stop!
442
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,330
So, did you guys talk?
Sure we talked.
443
00:16:09,330 --> 00:16:11,210
I told Lawrence that
he shot like our grandma.
444
00:16:11,210 --> 00:16:14,040
Yeah, but then I reminded
him that Grammy Agnes was the star guard
445
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,000
on a ground-breaking
CYO women's team.
446
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,120
Led the league in scoring
back in 1927.
447
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,330
And then I clarified
that I knew all that.
448
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:21,250
My comment about Grandma
was a compliment.
449
00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:23,000
Nah.
I was expecting you to convince him
450
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,960
to stand up to your father
about Vietnam.
451
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:26,670
That didn't come up.
452
00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:28,540
And, actually,
453
00:16:28,540 --> 00:16:30,250
I decided
I'm going to Vietnam now.
454
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:33,040
What? I was only gone for
like an hour!
455
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,920
-You're going?
-Yeah.
456
00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,040
Aw, man.
457
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,040
I hope we end up
in the same platoon.
458
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:42,290
You guys are insane.
459
00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:44,170
If you won't talk
to your father, I will.
460
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,000
Mr. Cleary.
-Don't, Wendi.
461
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,620
I'll do it.
I'll talk to him.
462
00:16:52,290 --> 00:16:54,330
Nope.
463
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:56,920
Mr. Cleary, you have two boys
about to go off to a war
464
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,290
which even the people
running the thing
465
00:16:58,290 --> 00:16:59,620
don't believe in
anymore.
466
00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:01,420
This is between me
and my two sons.
467
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:02,880
Not when I really care
about one of them.
468
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,290
It's me, right?
Eddie?
469
00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,460
I hate the thought of either
of them going over there
470
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:10,170
just so President Nixon doesn't
look weak before an election.
471
00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:11,960
The president
is negotiating
472
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,250
an honorable peace
to this war,
473
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,830
which he'll only get
by waging it aggressively.
474
00:17:16,830 --> 00:17:18,210
More war
leading to peace.
475
00:17:18,210 --> 00:17:19,830
A lot of people
think that's crazy.
476
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,790
A lot of people who don't
really love this country.
477
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:24,750
Or they love it enough
to criticize it so it can be better,
478
00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:27,210
the way you do with
someone you really care about.
479
00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:29,170
Is that why you and Mom
always criticize me?
480
00:17:29,170 --> 00:17:31,540
No, it's because
you do dumb stuff.
481
00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:34,040
Good call.
Do you see what you do to him?
482
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,380
Eddie is starved
for your approval.
483
00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:38,080
[ Groans ]
You have a weird power over these boys.
484
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,540
All right!
That's enough, Wendi.
485
00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:41,330
No, it really isn't.
486
00:17:41,330 --> 00:17:42,750
I'm sorry, Mr. Cleary,
487
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:45,120
but I'm worried that Eddie is
going to get himself killed
488
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,620
just hoping you'll say
you're proud of him.
489
00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:49,750
We should get started
on that driving lesson.
490
00:17:49,750 --> 00:17:51,330
Right now.
491
00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:56,330
♪♪
492
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:58,620
I know you agree with me
about Eddie and Lawrence. [ Sighs ]
493
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:01,460
With Mike, you have to handle
things with a light touch.
494
00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:03,040
[ Keys jingle ]
495
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,670
[ Engine starts ]
496
00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:06,790
[ Revving ]
497
00:18:06,790 --> 00:18:08,420
[ Tires squeal, loud thud ]
498
00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:13,210
Mom ran over Lawrence!
499
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:14,750
Doctor: We'll know more
in a day or two,
500
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:17,290
but we're looking at about
three months in that cast.
501
00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:19,880
Now, I know he's supposed
to report to basic training,
502
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,420
but that's off the table
for now.
503
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:23,750
You did this
on purpose.
504
00:18:23,750 --> 00:18:25,250
I'll forgive you
for saying that
505
00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:26,500
because you're in shock
from your broken foot.
506
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:29,210
Yeah, which you gave me.
On purpose.
507
00:18:29,210 --> 00:18:31,830
The "D" and the "R"
on the steering column are very confusing.
508
00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:33,620
Okay, enough of
the silly speculation.
509
00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:35,500
This was definitely
an accident.
510
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,500
[ Scoffs ]
'Cause our insurance doesn't cover vehicular assault.
511
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:39,880
I had a plan, Dad.
512
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,000
I really wanted
to do this right.
513
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:46,210
Sometimes these choices
get made for us...
514
00:18:46,210 --> 00:18:47,790
by a higher power.
515
00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:50,170
Where's Eddie?
You steer clear of Eddie.
516
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:52,170
I'll deal with him.
517
00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:53,880
[ Scoffs ]
518
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,290
Mike: Take a walk
with me.
519
00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:56,540
Just him.
520
00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:57,920
You and I have
talked enough today.
521
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,250
Oh, looky here.
[ Baby coos ]
522
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:05,170
Nothing warms the heart more
than the sight of a baby
523
00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:07,920
that I don't have to feed
and clothe for two decades.
524
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,670
[ Baby talk ]
Hello.
525
00:19:09,670 --> 00:19:12,120
You are not my problem.
[ Chuckles ]
526
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,080
You know why hospitals
have these big windows
527
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:15,580
in the baby room?
[ Normal voice ] Hang on, doesn't it go,
528
00:19:15,580 --> 00:19:17,710
"Why do Polish hospitals
have these big windows?"
529
00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:19,420
'Cause I think
I know this one. No.
530
00:19:19,420 --> 00:19:21,330
The school nurse told me
they have these windows
531
00:19:21,330 --> 00:19:24,170
mostly for other people --
people who are sick,
532
00:19:24,170 --> 00:19:26,040
people visiting loved ones
who aren't doing so well.
533
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,750
They can walk down
the corridor,
534
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,080
look in,
and see life.
535
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:31,960
See hope.
I get it.
536
00:19:33,830 --> 00:19:35,420
Didn't you used to talk
about being a doctor
537
00:19:35,420 --> 00:19:37,500
when you were little?
A nurse, actually.
538
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:39,120
A nurse, doctor.
539
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,540
Neither's better
than the other...
540
00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:43,080
except doctor's better.
541
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,080
I used to pretend to be sick
and get out of class
542
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,420
to hang out with
Nurse Gail at school.
543
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,330
She had lollipops.
544
00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:51,920
That story tells me you might
have the stuff to be a doctor.
545
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,960
Or a nurse.
Or a doctor.
546
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,710
Bottom line,
you like people.
547
00:19:55,710 --> 00:19:57,250
I like lollipops.
548
00:19:57,250 --> 00:19:59,580
But you're
a caring person.
549
00:19:59,580 --> 00:20:01,210
It's a special talent,
550
00:20:01,210 --> 00:20:03,380
like playing the fiddle,
or Evel Knievel.
551
00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:05,250
If you get your grades up,
you can get yourself
552
00:20:05,250 --> 00:20:07,290
into a decent
medical program.
553
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,210
Wendi really wants me
to go to college, too.
554
00:20:09,210 --> 00:20:10,420
That one has
a lot of opinions.
555
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:11,540
[ Chuckles ]
556
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,290
It's still a good idea.
557
00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:17,500
It sounds really hard,
Dad.
558
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,790
I'd like to see you
give it a shot.
559
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,040
You should know
there's more than one way
560
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,040
to make me proud of you.
561
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,580
A couple months later,
President Nixon
562
00:20:25,580 --> 00:20:27,040
ended the draft,
563
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,920
sparing my brothers
any further physical peril
564
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,500
from either
the North Vietnamese or my mom.
565
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:33,540
[ Baby cooing ]
566
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,120
The Reappearing Cow.
567
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,960
Page 152.
568
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,120
What are you trying to pull?
That's a trick book, right?
569
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,710
I-I open it
and a knife pops out
570
00:20:45,710 --> 00:20:46,920
and slices my throat.
571
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:47,920
What would be
the point of that?
572
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,750
Making me look dumb.
[ Stammers ]
573
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:51,880
Like everybody
who gets a chance
574
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,170
to peek behind the curtain,
575
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:55,080
Frank discovered
that the knowing
576
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,380
is often not as much
as fun as the not-knowing.
577
00:20:57,380 --> 00:20:59,080
Hmm.
578
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,500
That's it?
579
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:02,120
Yeah.
580
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,620
I almost wish a knife
had popped out.
581
00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:04,880
I don't have a knife,
582
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,710
but how about...
583
00:21:06,710 --> 00:21:08,210
this?!
584
00:21:08,210 --> 00:21:09,540
How'd you do that?
585
00:21:09,540 --> 00:21:10,880
Sorry, man,
586
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,500
the answer
was in the book.
587
00:21:15,750 --> 00:21:17,210
[ Chuckles lightly ]
588
00:21:17,260 --> 00:21:21,810
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