All language subtitles for Bored To Death - 01x05 - The Case of the Lonely White Dove.Blu-Ray.English.updated.Addic7ed.com

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,508 --> 00:00:09,302 ( Theme music playing ) 2 00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:14,891 ♪ All the shadows in the city ♪ 3 00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:18,603 ♪ Used to love you, what a pity ♪ 4 00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:22,649 ♪ I miss the questions you used to ask me ♪ 5 00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:26,736 ♪ Bored to death, cut, mad and lonely ♪ 6 00:00:26,903 --> 00:00:30,698 ♪ Bored to death, cut, mad and lonely... ♪ 7 00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:32,700 - (coughs) - ♪ Bored to death ♪ 8 00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:35,203 ♪ Cut, mad and lonely. ♪ 9 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,706 ( whistle blows ) 10 00:01:12,532 --> 00:01:14,701 - Do you love books? - Oh my God. 11 00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:18,454 Sorry... 12 00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:20,665 Are you Dimitri? 13 00:01:20,832 --> 00:01:22,166 That's not the code. 14 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:24,335 Sorry... 15 00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:26,170 I love books and books love me. 16 00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,298 Better. I'm Dimitri. 17 00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:29,924 - I'm Jonathan Ames. - I know. 18 00:01:30,091 --> 00:01:33,970 Thank you for suggesting that I bring Gogol's "The Nose." 19 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:36,431 In addition to being a private detective, 20 00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:39,017 I'm also doing some writing on the side 21 00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:41,352 and I have always loved novels. 22 00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:42,854 Me too. 23 00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:44,856 Turgenev, Dostoevsky, Gogol... 24 00:01:45,023 --> 00:01:47,358 These were my cellmates in prison. 25 00:01:47,525 --> 00:01:49,360 They kept me alive for three years. 26 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:51,446 Prison? Why were you in prison? 27 00:01:51,613 --> 00:01:54,616 It's not important. Let's sit and talk. 28 00:02:06,252 --> 00:02:08,296 I need you to find a woman. 29 00:02:08,463 --> 00:02:11,257 That's my specialty. I've found several. 30 00:02:11,424 --> 00:02:13,760 Good. She is the great love of my life. 31 00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:15,637 She is all I thought about in prison. 32 00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:18,181 How long were you with her? 33 00:02:18,348 --> 00:02:19,599 One night. 34 00:02:19,766 --> 00:02:20,933 Just one night? 35 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,269 One night, if the love is perfect, 36 00:02:23,436 --> 00:02:25,313 is all you need. 37 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,815 Also I was arrested the next day. 38 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,942 We met in Brighton Beach... 39 00:02:30,109 --> 00:02:32,945 very romantic. Have you ever been there? 40 00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:35,657 No, my girlfriend Suzanne always wanted to go 41 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,326 to those nightclubs out there but we never did. 44 00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,624 So what did you offer her to stay... 45 00:02:44,791 --> 00:02:47,293 diamonds, gold, a car with sunroof? 46 00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:50,254 No, I just begged. 47 00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:52,131 And I... 48 00:02:52,298 --> 00:02:53,299 Cried? 49 00:02:53,466 --> 00:02:55,134 A little. 50 00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:57,637 Good. It's natural. 51 00:02:57,804 --> 00:02:59,472 But also if you want to keep a woman, 52 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:00,807 you have to be strong. 53 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:04,477 Women need us to be commanding and decisive. 54 00:03:04,644 --> 00:03:05,978 But do they? 55 00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:08,356 I don't know. Maybe they do. 56 00:03:08,523 --> 00:03:10,233 They do. 57 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,485 So my woman... 58 00:03:12,652 --> 00:03:14,987 I don't know her real name, 59 00:03:15,154 --> 00:03:17,115 only her stage name... 60 00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:20,368 Irenna, the Lonely White Dove. 61 00:03:21,411 --> 00:03:23,496 She was singer at Cafe Tatiana. 62 00:03:23,663 --> 00:03:25,206 I want you to go there. 63 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:27,166 I'm happy to go to this club for you, 64 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:30,086 but why don't you just go? It'll save you my fee. 65 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,547 My parole officer won't let me out at night. 66 00:03:32,714 --> 00:03:34,716 That's why I find you on Craigslist. 67 00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,635 Also I got apartment, exercise bicycle, 68 00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:39,846 and you... my own private detective. 69 00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:42,682 I'm your man then. I'll go to Tatiana. 70 00:03:42,849 --> 00:03:44,976 Spasibo. 71 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:48,312 Please find my woman. 72 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:02,618 Do you think I lost Suzanne because I didn't take her places 73 00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:05,955 or do you think I lost her because I was indecisive? 74 00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:07,623 Probably both. 75 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:10,501 But I can't think about your failed relationship right now. 76 00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:14,088 I have to tell you, I'm in a bad way, Jonathan. 77 00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:15,298 Why? What's going on? 78 00:04:15,465 --> 00:04:17,341 The magazine's numbers are way down... 79 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,969 newsstand, subscriptions, advertising. 80 00:04:20,136 --> 00:04:23,097 It's very bleak and it's all my fault. 81 00:04:23,264 --> 00:04:25,266 It's not your fault. All magazines are dying. 82 00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:27,393 Yes yes, but a few will survive. 83 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,146 It's Darwinian. See, we need to adapt. 84 00:04:30,313 --> 00:04:31,939 I need to adapt. 85 00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,525 Our biggest problem is our female demographic. 86 00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:38,780 See, we've lost over 37% of our women readers. 87 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,073 - That is a lot of women. - I know. 88 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,993 So what's the plan... hire more women writers? 89 00:04:45,495 --> 00:04:47,163 That's a good idea, actually. 90 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:50,750 That'll be the second step. The first step, though, is to change me. 91 00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:54,295 See, if I'm right, the magazine will be right. 92 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:56,297 But how are you going to change? 93 00:04:56,464 --> 00:05:00,092 You told me once that after the age of 55 it's impossible to change. 94 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:03,638 That's why my therapist is suggesting something radical. 95 00:05:03,805 --> 00:05:06,307 He wants me to experiment with bisexuality. 96 00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:07,475 What? 97 00:05:07,642 --> 00:05:09,560 Mr. Christopher, I need to clean in here. 98 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,896 Yes, of course. Yes, of course. 99 00:05:12,063 --> 00:05:13,731 Sorry... 100 00:05:19,362 --> 00:05:22,824 He says it will help me appeal to women readers, 101 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:26,118 put me in touch with my feminine side. 102 00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:28,496 - Your therapist sounds crazy. - I know, I know. 103 00:05:28,663 --> 00:05:31,624 But most therapists are. That's what gives them insight. 104 00:05:31,791 --> 00:05:34,794 - This is insane. - What can I say, Jonathan? 105 00:05:34,961 --> 00:05:37,964 I am desperate to help the magazine. I'm willing to try anything. 106 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,132 But if you experiment with bisexuality 107 00:05:40,299 --> 00:05:42,635 you'll just be more gay, not necessarily more feminine. 108 00:05:42,802 --> 00:05:43,886 That's fine. 109 00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:45,930 I mean, who designs women's clothing? 110 00:05:46,097 --> 00:05:47,223 Gay men. 111 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,725 Who do women find attractive? Gay men. 112 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:53,187 Who writes women's TV shows? Gay men. 113 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:57,149 I really think it's my only choice. 114 00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:59,151 But have you ever experimented before? 115 00:05:59,318 --> 00:06:02,113 No, but I do have an open mind about the whole thing. 116 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:06,242 You know, Laurence Olivier and Danny Kaye were lovers. 117 00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,411 - Really? - Mm-hmm, yeah. 118 00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:11,372 And oddly enough they're my two favorite actors of all time. 119 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:14,917 They were like two sides of this strange coin... 120 00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,919 "Hamlet" and "The Court Jester." 121 00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:20,131 the dark prince and the Technicolor clown. 122 00:06:20,298 --> 00:06:21,632 It's amazing. 123 00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:24,135 It's hard to imagine them as lovers. 124 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:27,680 Sorry to put this in such old-fashioned terms, 125 00:06:27,847 --> 00:06:30,349 but who do you think played the woman in the relationship? 126 00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,768 Danny Kaye. He could do a lot of accents. 127 00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:36,314 That way Olivier could have a different woman every night. 128 00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:51,412 ( Fast dance music playing ) 129 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,832 ( people laughing, chattering ) 130 00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,635 I'll have a white wine. 131 00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,480 I was wondering if you could help me. 132 00:07:17,647 --> 00:07:21,692 I'm looking for a singer... Irenna, the Lonely White Dove. 133 00:07:34,956 --> 00:07:37,291 I don't know if you gentlemen heard my question, 134 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:40,503 but I'm looking for Irenna, the Lonely White Dove? 135 00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:43,798 - You're a tourist? - No no, not exactly. 136 00:07:43,965 --> 00:07:45,508 I live in Brooklyn. 137 00:07:45,675 --> 00:07:47,885 Then come sit down, have a good Russian meal... 138 00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:50,471 vodka, caviar, 139 00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:52,890 blini, semga. 140 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:57,603 ( Woman singing in Russian ) 141 00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:06,570 Excuse me, who is that beautiful singer? 142 00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:10,533 Oh, that is Basha. You have no chance. 143 00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:12,326 She's not interested in penis. 144 00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:14,161 She's a Sappho. 145 00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:15,913 Oh, I'm not... I didn't mean... 146 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,873 Do you know, is there a singer here 147 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,794 named Irenna, the Lonely White Dove? Her old boyfriend is looking for her. 148 00:08:21,961 --> 00:08:24,964 We don't have a lonely dove. We have a lonely sparrow. 149 00:08:25,131 --> 00:08:26,882 She sings tomorrow. 150 00:08:27,049 --> 00:08:28,718 Great. Thank you. 151 00:08:30,261 --> 00:08:32,263 Oh, thank you. 152 00:08:34,432 --> 00:08:37,768 - Na zdorovie! - Na zdorovie! 153 00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:46,652 Is vodka really made from potatoes? 154 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:21,062 ( Groans ) 155 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:23,105 I'm really hungover from that vodka. 156 00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:26,275 You gotta write something. I do my best work hungover. 157 00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:29,028 I have less brain cells to confuse the issue. 158 00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:31,739 I did this yesterday morning 159 00:09:31,906 --> 00:09:34,033 right after I barfed all over the place. 160 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,160 You're not that big. 161 00:09:36,327 --> 00:09:40,206 In my mind I am... huge but underused. 162 00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,916 What are you drawing this for? 163 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,460 It's a story about being a sperm donor to Lisa and Michelle, 164 00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:46,545 and how Leah won't sleep with me. 165 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:48,714 This editor at "Esquire" is really into it. 166 00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:50,716 Really great work. 167 00:09:50,883 --> 00:09:53,886 I'm sorry, I feel so sick. 168 00:09:54,053 --> 00:09:55,888 Let's go get a drink right now. 169 00:09:56,055 --> 00:09:58,432 Oh, quit kidding around. I gotta drink more tonight. 170 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,267 I'm going back to that club. 171 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:04,313 I'm supposed to find out if the lonely sparrow is Irenna. 172 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,983 Actually I had a really fun time there last night. 173 00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,778 I can't believe I never took Suzanne to Brighton Beach. 174 00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:13,864 Why don't you take Suzanne tonight, you know? 175 00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:17,535 You guys haven't had any breakup sex, right? It's been a couple of months. 176 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,870 You're due. 177 00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:21,288 Maybe you're right. 178 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,457 If you do call her, maybe Leah and I could go with you. 179 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,960 Tonight we're supposed to work on our intimacy issues. 180 00:10:26,127 --> 00:10:28,379 But if the four of us go, that's not very intimate. 181 00:10:28,546 --> 00:10:31,090 Yeah, but if you go we won't fight, 182 00:10:31,257 --> 00:10:33,634 and that's really good for intimacy. 183 00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:39,223 ( Groans ) 184 00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:41,392 Mi vida loca. 185 00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:46,438 ( Phone rings ) 186 00:10:48,107 --> 00:10:50,609 ( sighs ) Hello. 187 00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:53,112 Suzanne, it's Jonathan. 188 00:10:53,279 --> 00:10:55,364 I know. What's going on? 189 00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:58,784 First of all, I just want to say I'm really sorry about what happened 190 00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:01,370 the last time I saw you with your Al-Anon friend. 191 00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:02,872 Let's not talk about it. 192 00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:06,417 Well, I want to make it up you. You know how we never went to Brighton Beach 193 00:11:06,584 --> 00:11:09,128 because I thought it was too long of a subway ride? 194 00:11:09,295 --> 00:11:12,756 Well, you and I are going out there tonight. 195 00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:15,759 That's right. I found this great place. 196 00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:18,470 We'll eat dinner, drinks, dancing. 197 00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:20,472 You know I don't want to see you drinking. 198 00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:22,474 I was talking about water. 199 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:24,935 We'll drink water after we dance to rehydrate. 200 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,478 What is this about? 201 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:29,106 Nothing. I'm just feeling really... 202 00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:31,775 decisive, you know? 203 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:35,196 I want you to have the Brighton Beach night I never gave you. 204 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:38,199 I don't think we should be going on a date, Jonathan. 205 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:40,618 It's not a date. It's platonic. 206 00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:42,161 Dancing is platonic? 207 00:11:42,328 --> 00:11:43,996 Yes, dancing is platonic. 208 00:11:44,163 --> 00:11:46,999 We'll stay three feet apart from each other the whole night, I promise. 209 00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:50,127 And there's gonna be lots of people there... Ray and Leah... 210 00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:52,129 ( speaks gibberish ) 211 00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:53,964 Lots of people. 212 00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:57,051 Well, I guess I did always want to go. 213 00:11:57,218 --> 00:11:59,053 We don't even have to sit next to each other. 214 00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,055 I'll sit across the room the whole night 215 00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:03,474 sending you platonic love notes. 216 00:12:03,641 --> 00:12:06,685 What's a platonic love note? 217 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:11,106 I just thought it was going to be you and me. 218 00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:13,317 Well, Jonathan knew where this place was 219 00:12:13,484 --> 00:12:15,778 and it just seemed easier if we all came together. 220 00:12:15,945 --> 00:12:18,155 Plus, he split the car service with me. 221 00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:22,117 If it meant being alone I could have paid for the car. 222 00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:24,703 Well, tonight is on me... and Jonathan. 223 00:12:24,870 --> 00:12:26,747 Oh, good. 224 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:32,002 A little bit of potato sauce. 225 00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:33,837 Thank you. 226 00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:40,511 ( Makes zapping noises ) 227 00:12:40,678 --> 00:12:42,263 What are you doing? 228 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:45,766 I'm zapping it like Iceman from the X-men series. 229 00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:47,977 Remember I drew them for Marvel? 230 00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:51,272 Can we please not talk about comics for one night? 231 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:55,609 Okay, to the prettiest girl in Brighton Beach. 232 00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,736 That's better. 233 00:12:59,113 --> 00:13:00,656 A kiss. 234 00:13:03,075 --> 00:13:04,952 Hi, Leah. Hey, Ray. 235 00:13:05,119 --> 00:13:07,121 - Hey, want some vodka? - Okay. 236 00:13:07,288 --> 00:13:09,498 I thought there would be more people here. 237 00:13:09,665 --> 00:13:11,083 I thought there would be less. 238 00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:14,044 Well, we don't know these people yet, but you'll see, 239 00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:16,714 pretty soon this place is gonna be like a big Russian wedding. 240 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,133 By the end we're all gonna know each other pretty well. 241 00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:23,220 Unlimited vodka here... this is where the value is. 242 00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:25,681 To the drug Czar. 243 00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:29,476 Cheers. 244 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,523 I thought you said you weren't drinking tonight. 245 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:36,567 Oh, well, 246 00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:38,402 it was just a celebratory toast. 247 00:13:38,569 --> 00:13:41,989 You know, when in Moscow... 248 00:13:42,156 --> 00:13:43,907 I'll switch to water now. 249 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:45,242 So to water. 250 00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:47,786 To water. 251 00:13:50,748 --> 00:13:52,499 Ray: Oh, that's good. 252 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:53,834 Let's all dance. 253 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:55,502 That's a good idea. 254 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,629 No, my toes are all fused. My toes are fused. 255 00:13:57,796 --> 00:13:59,798 Come on, don't be a baby. 256 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,470 It's been awhile since we danced together. 257 00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:11,769 Sir. 258 00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:17,941 I know I said we would only dance three feet apart but... 259 00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,152 is two feet okay? 260 00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:24,281 Yeah, I guess two feet is okay. 261 00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,075 Isn't this fun? 262 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,452 Yeah, it really is. 263 00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:32,664 You can come closer if you want. 264 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,126 Really? 265 00:14:45,386 --> 00:14:48,055 Man: Everyone please sit down. 266 00:14:48,222 --> 00:14:50,057 Ladies and gentlemen, 267 00:14:50,224 --> 00:14:52,851 welcome to the stage 268 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:58,524 Nadya, the Lonely Sparrow. 269 00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:13,414 ♪ The falling leaves ♪ 270 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:17,835 ♪ Drift by the window ♪ 271 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:21,880 ♪ The autumn leaves ♪ 272 00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:26,135 ♪ Of red and gold... ♪ 273 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:29,263 I think that's the woman I'm looking for. 274 00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:31,640 She is beautiful. 275 00:15:31,807 --> 00:15:33,517 What are you guys talking about? 276 00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:35,602 Sorry, do you know her? 277 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:38,605 No no, not at all. Not yet. 278 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,524 It's complicated. 279 00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:42,901 ( Phone buzzing ) 280 00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,070 Oh shit. It's George. 281 00:15:45,237 --> 00:15:47,364 I'm sorry, I have to take this. 282 00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:50,409 But you're having fun here, right? 283 00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:51,952 We're in Brighton Beach. 284 00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,121 I'm sorry. 285 00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:57,416 Hello, George. 286 00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:59,835 Wait, hold on. It's loud here. 287 00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:03,547 Sorry, George. What's up? 288 00:16:03,714 --> 00:16:06,300 What if I do this and I don't come back? 289 00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:07,801 What do you mean? 290 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:10,095 That I turn completely gay. 291 00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:13,182 Well, then it was meant to be. 292 00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:18,937 You know what? You're absolutely right. 293 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:22,524 I have to remember that it helped Jann Wenner's career. 294 00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:25,777 All his magazines thrived after he became homosexual... 295 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:27,446 really boosted sales. 296 00:16:27,613 --> 00:16:29,448 Thank you. 297 00:16:29,615 --> 00:16:33,118 Okay, so... 298 00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:35,871 do you know how I could find a male escort? 299 00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:39,041 - No, I don't know. - Sorry, what? The reception's bad here. 300 00:16:39,208 --> 00:16:41,126 I don't know how to find a male escort. 301 00:16:41,293 --> 00:16:43,420 - Well, you should know these things. - No, I shouldn't. 302 00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:46,423 Look, just Google "male escort New York City." 303 00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:47,758 Wait, I can't hear you. 304 00:16:47,925 --> 00:16:50,469 The reception is terrible. Is it me or you? 305 00:16:50,636 --> 00:16:52,095 Just Google 306 00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:54,473 "male escort New York City." 307 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:58,018 Actually, Google "gay male escort 308 00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,687 New York City." 309 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,565 George, I've gotta go. I'm at a Russian nightclub. 310 00:17:03,732 --> 00:17:06,652 A Russian nightclub? Hey, I want to go. 311 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:08,654 Sorry about that. 312 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,657 My friend just... never mind. 313 00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,450 You guys work here, right? 314 00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:14,952 Can you tell me... 315 00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,787 did Nadya the Lonely Sparrow 316 00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:19,665 use to be Irenna the Lonely White Dove? 317 00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:21,333 Why you want to know so much? 318 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,752 Last night you told waitress 319 00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:27,256 a boyfriend is looking for the Lonely Dove. 320 00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,883 Who's the boyfriend? Who do you work for? 321 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,553 Nobody. Look, let's just forget it. 322 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,429 I've forgotten it. 323 00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,099 So I'm just going to go back inside. 324 00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:38,600 You are a fool. 325 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,394 Hey. Ow. Don't touch me. 326 00:17:40,561 --> 00:17:42,938 Wait wait wait. My friends are inside, okay? 327 00:17:43,105 --> 00:17:45,315 I've already paid for two meals... $38. 328 00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:47,234 Don't ever come in here again. 329 00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,528 - What about my friends? - Fuck friends. 330 00:17:49,695 --> 00:17:51,572 Hey, come on, get your hands off me. 331 00:17:53,282 --> 00:17:55,993 If we see you here again we will break you. 332 00:18:02,583 --> 00:18:04,626 Shit. Shit. 333 00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,964 You work for Dimitri? 334 00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,091 He's my friend. 335 00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,260 She wants you to call her... 336 00:18:13,427 --> 00:18:17,598 The girl, the singer, Irenna. 337 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,975 - Call her tomorrow, eh? - Who are you? 338 00:18:20,142 --> 00:18:21,893 I cannot talk to you. It's not safe for me. 339 00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,895 Wait, can you help me get back in there? 340 00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:26,273 My girlfriend's in there. 341 00:18:33,572 --> 00:18:35,449 Ray? 342 00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:41,246 I say in the ad that I'm an unlicensed private detective, 343 00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:44,082 which makes it more legal, sort of. 344 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:47,544 Anyway, the guy I'm that working for is an ex-con, 345 00:18:47,711 --> 00:18:50,922 but he's a real romantic and I'm trying to help him. 346 00:18:53,592 --> 00:18:54,926 Are you guys listening to me? 347 00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,720 I'm listening. 348 00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:58,138 Thank you, Ray. 349 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:01,016 Jonathan, you've got to understand this from my perspective. 350 00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:04,353 I thought that tonight was gonna be the Brighton Beach night that we never had. 351 00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:06,104 Remember that's what you told me? 352 00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,273 And I stupidly believed you. 353 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,942 Instead you drink vodka and you leave me alone 354 00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:13,111 while you chase after some Russian singer 355 00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:15,322 because you're investigating a case. 356 00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:17,324 But I was doing it in the name of love... 357 00:19:17,491 --> 00:19:19,117 somebody else's love but... 358 00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,703 You weren't doing this for anybody else but you. 359 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:25,248 You're selfish. You live in a selfish fantasy world. 360 00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:26,625 Suzanne, please... 361 00:19:26,792 --> 00:19:29,419 Please just do me one favor and don't talk to me. 362 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:32,130 The next subway, please, sir. 363 00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:37,219 At least it wasn't me this time, right, baby? 364 00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:41,056 Ow. Hey. 365 00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:45,352 Hey, look, for what it's worth, I'm on your side. 366 00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:48,105 ( Seagulls cawing ) 367 00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,114 Irenna? 368 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,450 Yes. And you're the private cop? 369 00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,703 Yes, or detective or investigator. 370 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,162 They all work. 371 00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:07,249 Thank you for coming. I don't like the phone. 372 00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:10,001 It's okay. It's beautiful here. 373 00:20:10,168 --> 00:20:14,297 So let me make sure I got things straight... 374 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:17,259 you used to sing as the Lonely White Dove. Is that right? 375 00:20:17,426 --> 00:20:18,427 Yes. 376 00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:20,929 Why did you switch to the Lonely Sparrow? 377 00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:22,681 I like birds. 378 00:20:22,848 --> 00:20:24,808 Every year I'm a new bird 379 00:20:24,975 --> 00:20:26,476 and always a lonely bird. 380 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,104 Maybe you won't have to be lonely any more. 381 00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:31,106 Dimitri hired me to find you. 382 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,442 Why? 383 00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:36,194 Because he's in love with you. 384 00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:40,699 He is still in prison? 385 00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:41,867 No. 386 00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:44,369 He's out and wants to see you. 387 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:46,621 Do you want to see him? 388 00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:54,921 Yes, I want to see him very much. 389 00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:58,717 Thank you very much, my little detective. 390 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:17,360 My... my therapist suggested I try this... 391 00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:19,362 medical advice, really. 392 00:21:19,529 --> 00:21:24,493 - You're coming out of the closet? - Well, no, not exactly. 393 00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:27,287 No, see, I'm trying to get in touch 394 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:29,998 with the feminine side of my nature. 395 00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:32,918 You see, I'm... 396 00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:34,753 I run a magazine. 397 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,089 And we've lost nearly half of our women readers 398 00:21:38,256 --> 00:21:41,593 and I've got to reach them somehow. 399 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,720 And you think that this will help you? 400 00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:45,472 Maybe. You know, I'm just... 401 00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:47,599 I want to open my mind. 402 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:51,269 If you want to open your mind, 403 00:21:51,436 --> 00:21:54,022 don't think in terms of male and female. 404 00:21:54,189 --> 00:21:56,191 I mean, it's binary. It's boring. 405 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,109 How about no definitions? 406 00:21:58,276 --> 00:22:00,028 Have you read Klaus Kinski's memoir? 407 00:22:00,195 --> 00:22:02,697 I haven't. 408 00:22:02,864 --> 00:22:05,492 You're talking about Werner Herzog's muse? 409 00:22:05,659 --> 00:22:08,787 Yeah. Kinski could fuck or get fucked. 410 00:22:08,954 --> 00:22:10,914 It didn't matter. He did what he wanted to. 411 00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:13,250 He defined himself. He was all sexes, 412 00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:15,001 beyond definition. 413 00:22:15,168 --> 00:22:17,963 You want your magazine to do better? 414 00:22:18,129 --> 00:22:20,257 Try to be like Klaus Kinski. 415 00:22:21,675 --> 00:22:25,512 Have you read a Woody Allen story "The Whores of Mensa"? 416 00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:29,099 I haven't. But I love Woody's prose even more than his movies. 417 00:22:29,266 --> 00:22:30,767 ( laughs ) 418 00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:32,978 So... 419 00:22:34,771 --> 00:22:36,481 you want to give this a try? 420 00:22:36,648 --> 00:22:41,111 I mean, I think that you're a good-looking guy, 421 00:22:41,278 --> 00:22:43,905 kind of like a buff Samuel Beckett. 422 00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:49,786 Jonathan: So I'm escorting Dimitri to Tatiana's tonight. 423 00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:51,663 And he says he needs me to be his backup, 424 00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:53,415 especially since he's breaking parole. 425 00:22:53,582 --> 00:22:55,166 - He said "backup"? - Yeah. 426 00:22:55,333 --> 00:22:57,419 - That sounds dangerous. - He explained 427 00:22:57,586 --> 00:22:59,254 that it's more of a Russian wingman position. 428 00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:01,089 - And I'm an excellent wingman. - I don't know. 429 00:23:01,256 --> 00:23:04,092 I don't think you should have ever gotten involved with this guy. 430 00:23:04,259 --> 00:23:06,386 Leah's still mad that I took her to that club last night. 431 00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:08,430 It ruined our first date in three months. 432 00:23:08,597 --> 00:23:11,725 I know. I am sorry, Ray. She shouldn't be mad at you. It's my fault. 433 00:23:11,892 --> 00:23:13,518 Yeah, it is your fault. 434 00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:15,604 And now to make up for last night's disaster 435 00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:18,565 I'm doing timed massages. It's an intimacy exercise. 436 00:23:18,732 --> 00:23:20,817 She out buying an egg timer right now. 437 00:23:20,984 --> 00:23:22,777 - An egg timer? - Are you really going to be 438 00:23:22,944 --> 00:23:25,572 this guy's backup Russian wingman? 439 00:23:25,739 --> 00:23:27,574 Yes, I gave him my word. 440 00:23:27,741 --> 00:23:29,743 He thinks I'm a brave detective. 441 00:23:29,910 --> 00:23:31,703 And he's already paid me $200. 442 00:23:31,870 --> 00:23:35,081 Okay, well, in that case I have something for you. 443 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,966 These are my uncle's. They mean a lot to me. 444 00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:47,761 He died of cirrhosis of the liver. 445 00:23:47,928 --> 00:23:49,346 These were also his. 446 00:23:49,512 --> 00:23:51,514 Here, drink up. Don't lose those. 447 00:23:56,186 --> 00:23:58,313 Ray, I'm excited. 448 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,107 I got a really good egg timer. 449 00:24:01,274 --> 00:24:02,567 (timer dings) 450 00:24:04,903 --> 00:24:07,656 I love the boardwalk. It reminds me of the Black Sea. 451 00:24:07,822 --> 00:24:10,408 Only I wish the girls were topless like in Russia, 452 00:24:10,575 --> 00:24:12,577 In America people are shy and disturbed. 453 00:24:12,744 --> 00:24:15,580 I don't know, why be scared of the naked breast? 454 00:24:15,747 --> 00:24:17,415 I've never been to a topless beach. 455 00:24:17,582 --> 00:24:18,750 Oh, I hope you go. 456 00:24:18,917 --> 00:24:21,419 Listen, I was thinking about you yesterday. 457 00:24:21,586 --> 00:24:23,838 You should take this girl that you loved 458 00:24:24,005 --> 00:24:25,924 and bring her here to Brighton Beach. 459 00:24:26,091 --> 00:24:28,551 Maybe you'll get back together and get married. 460 00:24:28,718 --> 00:24:30,845 Well, you must be psychic or something, 461 00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:33,932 because last night I tried that. 462 00:24:34,099 --> 00:24:37,394 And, well, I screwed the whole thing up. 463 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,187 Oh, I'm sorry. 464 00:24:39,354 --> 00:24:40,647 That's all right. 465 00:24:40,814 --> 00:24:43,024 It's like my heart's broken again, 466 00:24:43,191 --> 00:24:45,360 but it's not as bad since I'm used to it. 467 00:24:46,903 --> 00:24:49,739 Irenna. You found her. 468 00:24:49,906 --> 00:24:51,866 Irenna. ( speaks Russian ) 469 00:24:52,033 --> 00:24:54,244 Irenna. 470 00:24:54,411 --> 00:24:57,038 My brother is in prison because of you, bastard! 471 00:24:57,205 --> 00:24:59,916 - Hey hey hey. - Go home, private dick. 472 00:25:01,084 --> 00:25:03,086 This doesn't involve you. 473 00:25:04,254 --> 00:25:05,630 Hey. 474 00:25:29,487 --> 00:25:31,990 Ow! Ow! 475 00:25:34,242 --> 00:25:36,411 ( Car alarm blaring ) 476 00:25:38,997 --> 00:25:41,624 Come on, come on. 477 00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:44,044 This way, Jonathan. 478 00:25:48,256 --> 00:25:49,716 We hide here. 479 00:25:52,093 --> 00:25:54,012 - Oh, shit. Oh, shit. - What are you doing? 480 00:25:54,179 --> 00:25:56,514 Extra hiding. We're gonna die. 481 00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:58,892 You're not gonna die. You're fine. You did good. 482 00:25:59,059 --> 00:26:01,102 You saved me. 483 00:26:01,269 --> 00:26:02,854 I am grateful to you. 484 00:26:03,021 --> 00:26:04,272 I did okay? 485 00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:05,774 Yeah, you are real man. 486 00:26:05,940 --> 00:26:07,901 You showed me tonight... very brave. 487 00:26:08,068 --> 00:26:10,695 You hit the boss right in the nose. 488 00:26:10,862 --> 00:26:13,615 - It was beautiful. - I wasn't actually aiming for him. 489 00:26:13,782 --> 00:26:14,824 - What? - Nothing. 490 00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:17,118 Nothing. I was just... 491 00:26:17,285 --> 00:26:19,704 I'm glad we took those jerks out. 492 00:26:19,871 --> 00:26:23,333 So wait, what happened with you and Irenna's brother? 493 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,168 Why did she turn against you? 494 00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:26,836 We were doing a deal 495 00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:28,755 and when the cops got me, they got him. 496 00:26:28,922 --> 00:26:31,591 - And he's still in prison? - Yeah. 497 00:26:31,758 --> 00:26:33,802 I didn't think she would hold it against me 498 00:26:33,968 --> 00:26:37,388 after our night of great tenderness. 499 00:26:37,555 --> 00:26:40,391 But now my love for her is buried. 500 00:26:40,558 --> 00:26:43,061 But I will go on like you did, 501 00:26:43,228 --> 00:26:45,271 with a broken heart. 502 00:26:45,438 --> 00:26:47,565 - ( Footsteps, Russian speech ) - Shh. 503 00:26:51,069 --> 00:26:53,321 What do we do now? 504 00:26:53,488 --> 00:26:55,782 They go this way... we go this way. 505 00:26:55,949 --> 00:26:57,992 Okay. 506 00:26:59,369 --> 00:27:01,079 (grunts) 507 00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:08,920 Goodbye, my new friend. 508 00:27:09,087 --> 00:27:11,089 I don't know if I'll ever see you again, 509 00:27:11,256 --> 00:27:14,425 but I hope your heart is broken many times 510 00:27:14,592 --> 00:27:17,303 because it means you will have loved many times. 511 00:27:27,188 --> 00:27:29,816 Hi, George. Listen, I know it's late. 512 00:27:29,983 --> 00:27:32,735 I'm sorry to bother you, but I have had 513 00:27:32,902 --> 00:27:34,737 the most incredible, insane night. 514 00:27:34,904 --> 00:27:36,656 Would you want to meet for a drink? 515 00:27:36,823 --> 00:27:39,242 Now's actually not a great time for me. 516 00:27:39,409 --> 00:27:40,577 I have company. 517 00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:43,037 Do you remember what you told me to Google? 518 00:27:43,204 --> 00:27:44,539 Holy shit. 519 00:27:44,706 --> 00:27:46,249 How's it going? 520 00:27:46,416 --> 00:27:50,336 Well, I'm no Danny Kaye, if you know what I mean. 521 00:27:50,503 --> 00:27:53,840 I love Danny Kaye, especially "The Inspector General." 522 00:27:54,007 --> 00:27:55,884 - Really? - Yeah. 523 00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:57,844 I have "The Inspector General." 524 00:27:58,011 --> 00:27:59,554 We could watch it if you'd like. 525 00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:01,514 I have all of Danny Kaye's films. 526 00:28:01,681 --> 00:28:03,183 - I would love that. - Hey, Jonathan, 527 00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:04,934 we're gonna watch "The Inspector General." 528 00:28:05,101 --> 00:28:06,853 You could come over if you'd like. 529 00:28:07,020 --> 00:28:08,229 He's a really nice guy. 530 00:28:08,396 --> 00:28:10,982 ( "The Inspector General" Playing ) 531 00:28:19,115 --> 00:28:21,743 ( laughing ) 532 00:28:29,751 --> 00:28:32,754 I hope Jonathan does not lose those brass knuckles. 533 00:28:32,921 --> 00:28:35,465 Could you please not talk about Jonathan? 534 00:28:35,632 --> 00:28:37,926 This is an intimacy exercise about us. 535 00:28:38,092 --> 00:28:39,928 I'm sure he's fine. 536 00:28:40,094 --> 00:28:41,137 (timer dings) 537 00:28:42,388 --> 00:28:43,681 ( theme music playing ) 538 00:28:45,934 --> 00:28:49,979 ♪ All the shadows in the city ♪ 539 00:28:50,146 --> 00:28:54,150 ♪ Used to love you, what a pity ♪ 540 00:28:54,317 --> 00:28:57,904 ♪ I miss the questions you used to ask me ♪ 541 00:28:58,071 --> 00:29:01,658 ♪ All the shadows in the city ♪ 542 00:29:01,824 --> 00:29:03,326 ♪ All right ♪ 543 00:29:06,412 --> 00:29:10,541 ♪ Bored to death, plus expenses ♪ 544 00:29:10,708 --> 00:29:14,671 ♪ The only trouble is my sentence ♪ 545 00:29:14,837 --> 00:29:18,341 ♪ You said you'd never love another ♪ 546 00:29:18,508 --> 00:29:22,679 ♪ A Russian doll one inside the other. ♪ 39834

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