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1
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( Theme music playing )
2
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♪ All the shadows in the city ♪
3
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:18,603
♪ Used to love you,
what a pity ♪
4
00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:22,649
♪ I miss the questions
you used to ask me ♪
5
00:00:22,815 --> 00:00:26,736
♪ Bored to death,
cut, mad and lonely ♪
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♪ Bored to death, cut,
mad and lonely... ♪
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- (coughs)
- ♪ Bored to death ♪
8
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♪ Cut, mad and lonely. ♪
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( whistle blows )
10
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( rings doorbell )
11
00:00:59,894 --> 00:01:01,729
Jonathan:
Hi. How are you?
12
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,648
Thanks.
13
00:01:03,815 --> 00:01:05,400
Sorry I'm late.
14
00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:07,068
Ray's friends are here.
15
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:09,070
He didn't tell me
they were coming over.
16
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:12,073
Michelle, Lisa, this is Jonathan.
17
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:13,449
- Hi.
- Hi.
18
00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:14,784
- Hello.
- Hi.
19
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Where's Ray?
20
00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:18,580
He's in the bathroom
masturbating.
21
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,248
What?
22
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Ray: I'm almost done.
Just three more times.
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Oh, God.
24
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:25,420
Why is he doing that?
25
00:01:25,587 --> 00:01:28,089
Well, Ray and Leah are being
really generous with us
26
00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:30,925
and Ray is giving us
his sperm so that we can have a baby.
27
00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,927
Tonight's our first exchange.
28
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:34,596
But I'm not the one being generous.
29
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:35,972
I think you are.
30
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:39,892
Sharing your lover's sperm
with us is very kind of you.
31
00:01:40,059 --> 00:01:41,436
Yeah, and we really need the stuff.
32
00:01:41,603 --> 00:01:43,271
There's no getting around it.
33
00:01:43,438 --> 00:01:46,733
And what my Michelle wants, she gets.
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Oh, yeah, Ray told me about this.
35
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Well, congratulations.
36
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,699
As long as a kid isn't born with a beard
we'll be happy.
37
00:01:54,866 --> 00:01:57,994
Stop. No, actually we just
really love Ray's comics
38
00:01:58,161 --> 00:02:00,622
and we're hoping that the baby
will become an artist.
39
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:04,292
And what do you do,
in case we want a different kind of baby?
40
00:02:04,459 --> 00:02:06,628
Ray:
I heard that.
41
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,796
Really, what do you do?
44
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:16,304
- Yes.
- Maybe you could help a friend of mine.
45
00:02:16,471 --> 00:02:18,306
Her son's skateboard was stolen.
46
00:02:18,473 --> 00:02:20,099
I could definitely look into that.
47
00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:22,101
So far I've solved all my cases.
48
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I mean, there've only been two,
49
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:25,980
but still, that's a perfect record.
50
00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:29,442
Okay, well, her name's Allison.
She's a radical vegan.
51
00:02:29,609 --> 00:02:31,986
I know a lot of radical vegans.
She must be an unhappy person.
52
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( Door slides open )
53
00:02:34,656 --> 00:02:37,659
( Snapping fingers )
54
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All that jizz.
55
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:43,414
Yay Ray!
But can you put that in the fridge?
56
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,083
'Cause we need to keep it chilled.
57
00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:46,501
No, I don't want it in the fridge.
58
00:02:46,668 --> 00:02:47,794
The girls' lunches are in there.
59
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Leah, please.
60
00:02:49,671 --> 00:02:51,506
All right.
61
00:02:51,673 --> 00:02:54,634
I'll put it in the sink with some ice.
62
00:02:56,344 --> 00:03:00,390
Just give it to me, Leah.
We'll put it in our cooler.
63
00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:04,602
- Women: Oh my God.
- I'll get it. I'll get it.
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00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:07,271
Here it is. Here it is.
Here it is. Here it is.
65
00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:09,524
Okay, good.
No spillage.
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00:03:09,691 --> 00:03:11,109
We should go.
67
00:03:11,275 --> 00:03:14,612
For the record, I'm against this.
68
00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:21,536
Leah, I'm sorry to bring this up,
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00:03:21,703 --> 00:03:24,455
but could I have your friend's number...
the radical vegan?
70
00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:26,457
I really want that case.
71
00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:27,625
Leah.
72
00:03:27,792 --> 00:03:29,627
Ray, the sperm.
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00:03:29,794 --> 00:03:32,130
More? Oh, this.
74
00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:34,716
( Sighs ) Goodbye, Picasso.
75
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,051
( Kisses )
76
00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:41,472
(whirring )
77
00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:43,725
I never skateboarded myself.
78
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:45,393
My parents wouldn't let me.
79
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,979
They were kind of overprotective
and smothering.
80
00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:49,731
I'm a very permissive parent.
81
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,733
I think it's really important
82
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:53,735
that David have a sense of agency.
83
00:03:53,901 --> 00:03:57,238
Like every night for dinner
he decides what he wants to eat.
84
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,157
He must eat a lot of pizza then.
85
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:00,783
Oh, no no.
86
00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:02,577
We don't eat dairy or wheat.
87
00:04:02,744 --> 00:04:04,203
David has a lot of food allergies.
88
00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:05,747
Oh.
89
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:08,541
I don't know if Leah told you,
but I advocate at the public schools
90
00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:10,793
for slow food and raw food and live food.
91
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,587
In my heart I'm a vegan,
92
00:04:12,754 --> 00:04:14,380
but in my mouth I lack discipline.
93
00:04:14,547 --> 00:04:16,382
It sounds like your heart's
in the right place.
94
00:04:16,549 --> 00:04:18,885
You just have to work
on your mouth.
95
00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:23,931
So what exactly happened
with David's skatebo...?
96
00:04:26,142 --> 00:04:28,227
It's gonna stain.
97
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,106
So what exactly happened
with David's skateboard?
98
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:36,319
Well, this older boy,
this alpha-male bully took it.
99
00:04:36,486 --> 00:04:38,821
I offered to buy David a new one,
but he wouldn't hear of it.
100
00:04:38,988 --> 00:04:41,240
He's very attached to this one.
101
00:04:41,407 --> 00:04:43,284
- How old is David?
- He's nine.
102
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,286
And the boy who took his skateboard?
103
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,872
I don't know. He's, like, 16 or 17.
104
00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:49,874
His name is Francisco.
105
00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:53,211
I can't get it back.
It would humiliate David.
106
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:55,296
That's really very smart of you.
107
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:57,965
When I was a kid I had back spasms
108
00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,384
and I went to this crazy orthopedist
109
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,512
who prescribed a corset. For months...
110
00:05:02,678 --> 00:05:04,180
Do you still have back problems?
111
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:05,848
Sometimes. it's...
112
00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:07,308
I can fix that.
113
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:10,144
Lie on your belly.
114
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:11,687
(grunting )
115
00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:13,648
Oh. Oh.
116
00:05:13,815 --> 00:05:16,901
A corset?
I think that's odd.
117
00:05:17,068 --> 00:05:19,403
I don't know if I'd let
a doctor do that to David.
118
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:22,114
( Straining )
Yeah, it was a very Victorian cure,
119
00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:23,783
especially for New Jersey.
120
00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:25,785
But the point of my story was
121
00:05:25,952 --> 00:05:28,329
that my mother never let anyone know.
122
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,331
She protected me.
123
00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,333
I only wore sweatshirts.
124
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,502
I'm glad to hear that part.
Roll over.
125
00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:36,337
Okay.
126
00:05:39,924 --> 00:05:41,634
Oh.
127
00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:43,678
( Grunts ) How's that?
128
00:05:43,845 --> 00:05:45,888
Oh, wonderful.
129
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,978
Okay, just copy me...
130
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,479
Okay.
131
00:05:53,646 --> 00:05:57,525
Lift your leg up.
132
00:05:57,692 --> 00:05:59,652
Do you really think you can get David's
skateboard back?
133
00:05:59,819 --> 00:06:01,904
Yes, I'll get it back
134
00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:03,906
and I'll find this Francisco.
135
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,200
The other leg.
136
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,202
I'd be really grateful.
137
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:11,205
Ever since David's father
and I broke up...
138
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:14,417
( sighs ) I've been without a man
around the house.
139
00:06:15,835 --> 00:06:17,753
You've got a man in the house now.
140
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:24,218
♪ I'll see you
in my dreams... ♪
141
00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,598
( exclaims )
142
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:38,649
I'm looking for a kid named Francisco.
Do you know him?
143
00:06:38,816 --> 00:06:41,903
He rides around on the board
that looks like this.
144
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:44,488
Do you... do you know...
do you know Fran...
145
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,324
do you know Francisco?
146
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:11,098
Excuse me.
147
00:07:13,059 --> 00:07:14,143
Yeah?
148
00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:16,604
Do you know someone
named Francisco?
149
00:07:16,771 --> 00:07:18,606
Ever skateboarded with him
150
00:07:18,773 --> 00:07:20,358
on the streets?
151
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,610
Yeah, I know him.
152
00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:24,862
Do you know where
he likes to skateboard?
153
00:07:25,029 --> 00:07:26,364
Don't remember.
154
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,702
Would $5 help your memory?
155
00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:34,038
No, but $10 would.
156
00:07:34,205 --> 00:07:35,706
All right, tough guy...
157
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:37,708
( phone rings )
158
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:41,295
Excuse me one second... business.
159
00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:44,757
- Caroline.
- Jonathan, there you are.
160
00:07:44,924 --> 00:07:47,593
How's it coming with the new
Kama Sutra novel?
161
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,261
What position are you on?
162
00:07:49,428 --> 00:07:53,808
I'm on chapter 11...
chapter 12... position 12.
163
00:07:53,975 --> 00:07:56,102
That's 52 positions to go.
164
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,938
Listen, you keep working
hard, all right?
165
00:07:59,105 --> 00:08:02,108
And, you know,
send me a chapter now if you like.
166
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:03,818
I'll send you something soon, okay?
167
00:08:03,985 --> 00:08:05,653
But I am with a friend right now,
168
00:08:05,820 --> 00:08:08,197
so I'll call you back. Is that okay?
169
00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:10,199
All right, sweetheart.
Don't be a stranger.
170
00:08:10,366 --> 00:08:12,827
You know that all of my writers
are like my husbands.
171
00:08:12,994 --> 00:08:14,286
Right, I know. Okay.
172
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,956
- Bye, Caroline.
- Ciao, sweetie.
173
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:28,050
I think that you're not
working on the book
174
00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:30,136
because you're depressed
over losing the girl.
175
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,972
I'm doing a little better.
I met someone today.
176
00:08:33,139 --> 00:08:36,058
Well, that's perfect.
Hemingway, you know, said
177
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:38,853
the best way to get over a woman
was to get another one.
178
00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:41,689
Of course then to get over that woman
you need another woman.
179
00:08:41,856 --> 00:08:45,234
So basically one failed relationship
leads to the next?
180
00:08:45,401 --> 00:08:46,527
Yes.
181
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:49,030
Anyway, how's the new girl?
182
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,406
Good-looking?
183
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:53,534
Yeah, pretty sexy.
I really like her.
184
00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:55,828
Nice arms?
185
00:08:55,995 --> 00:08:59,373
I guess so, yeah. Why?
186
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,375
I don't know. Just lately
187
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:04,462
I've been going nuts
over women's arms...
188
00:09:05,463 --> 00:09:09,091
actually the armpit.
189
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:10,760
I just love it.
190
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:14,096
It's this other secret place
to burrow into.
191
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:17,892
But you don't have to slide
as far down the bed to get to it.
192
00:09:18,059 --> 00:09:21,312
Maybe it's laziness. I don't know.
193
00:09:21,479 --> 00:09:24,815
There's also a childhood connection.
194
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,985
Something happened
with you and an armpit in childhood?
195
00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:30,237
Yes yes.
I was on the school bus.
196
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:32,573
I'm 11 years old.
197
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:36,077
And this girl...
Diane Trudy was her name...
198
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,413
I remember she was wearing
a yellow dress.
199
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,499
And when she stood up
200
00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:43,292
to reach for the pole
201
00:09:43,459 --> 00:09:45,294
the sunlight came
through the windshield
202
00:09:45,461 --> 00:09:47,755
and I could see her armpit.
203
00:09:47,922 --> 00:09:50,633
There were these beautiful,
204
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,635
very slight
205
00:09:52,802 --> 00:09:54,804
blonde yellow hairs
206
00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:57,264
just sort of undulating.
207
00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,810
I fell in love.
208
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:03,604
Why do you think the hairs
made you fall in love?
209
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:06,440
Because I knew it meant
that she was becoming a woman.
210
00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,943
I like that story.
211
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:11,695
And, God help me,
212
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,531
it's happening again.
213
00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,282
Wait, what?
214
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,452
I met this young publicist
the other day
215
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:21,080
and for some reason she lifted her arm
216
00:10:21,247 --> 00:10:23,082
and I could see these light blonde hairs
217
00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:25,584
and it was like a moment out of Proust...
218
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,294
I was back on the school bus.
219
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,880
That's incredible.
So twice in one life.
220
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:32,133
I know. Her name's Emily.
221
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,968
She's the flack for this
222
00:10:34,135 --> 00:10:35,970
new hip restaurant
that's opening tomorrow
223
00:10:36,137 --> 00:10:37,972
out in Greenpoint, near you.
224
00:10:38,139 --> 00:10:39,849
It's close by.
225
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,475
You know what?
226
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:43,853
They're having this tasting.
It starts around 5:00.
227
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:46,147
It's all organic game...
228
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,399
rabbits that have been shot naturally
229
00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:50,025
in the woods, that sort of thing.
230
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,486
Why don't you come with me?
It'd be perfect.
231
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:55,030
It's a very young crowd.
You could help me fit in.
232
00:11:22,308 --> 00:11:25,561
Hi, guys. Hi.
233
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:28,981
I really like your board.
I'm something of a collector.
234
00:11:29,148 --> 00:11:30,733
Is there any chance
you might want to sell it?
235
00:11:30,900 --> 00:11:33,068
Are you that dude that's
been asking about me?
236
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:35,529
You from the school or something?
237
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,031
No, I don't go to any school.
238
00:11:37,198 --> 00:11:39,033
I haven't been asking about you, no.
239
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,076
You sure?
'Cause some kids told me
240
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:43,537
that a dude with a big nose
wanted to know where I hang out.
241
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,747
But that's not you, right?
242
00:11:44,914 --> 00:11:47,166
A dude with a big nose
is not me, my friend.
243
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:49,001
No, it must be somebody else.
244
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:50,711
I'm just interested in your board.
245
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,046
Would you sell it for 20 bucks?
246
00:11:52,213 --> 00:11:54,048
Get out of here, man.
I don't know you.
247
00:11:54,215 --> 00:11:56,634
I don't want to know you, all right?
248
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,469
50 bucks? How much?
249
00:11:58,636 --> 00:12:00,804
How about my fist in your face, man?
How about that?
250
00:12:00,971 --> 00:12:02,890
You know, I don't think
I can afford that right now.
251
00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:05,267
So thank you very much
and keep on skatin'.
252
00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:06,560
All right.
253
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:10,064
( Kids laughing )
254
00:12:10,231 --> 00:12:14,443
Ray, can you get
Leah's car and meet me?
255
00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:18,447
It's fun sitting here. I still think
256
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:21,242
it's weird to pretend that
you're a private detective.
257
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:24,411
It's not pretending. Come on, you're always
drawing superheroes.
258
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,747
This is your chance to be one.
259
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,749
All right, what is she paying us?
260
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,834
Sorry, there's no money.
I'm doing this one pro bono.
261
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,920
I made out with her.
262
00:12:33,087 --> 00:12:35,923
What? Are you crazy?
That girl's half nuts.
263
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:38,676
I can't charge her now.
I'm taking her out for a drink tonight.
264
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,971
Did you at least take her shirt off?
265
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:44,014
No, we just made out,
but it was pretty amazing.
266
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:47,268
We have chemistry
or something, I don't know.
267
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,395
Maybe she could be my new Suzanne.
268
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:51,397
It is a little scary that she has a kid,
269
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,983
but Leah has kids and you guys
have been together for a while.
270
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:56,777
Yeah, but that is terrible.
Those kids pay me no respect.
271
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:59,280
They call me fat and hairy.
272
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:02,157
You know, they could lose
a few pounds themselves.
273
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:03,701
( Sighs ) Kids.
274
00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:05,452
I'm not cut out to be a surrogate dad.
275
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,621
But you're giving your sperm
to Lisa and Michelle.
276
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,623
Because I don't have to do anything.
277
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:12,710
I just signed a paper.
I have no rights as a father.
278
00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:15,129
- Why are you doing it then?
- I don't know, man.
279
00:13:15,296 --> 00:13:17,006
I guess I was flattered
that they wanted my child.
280
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,674
But they are draining the hell out of me.
281
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:20,718
They wanted four doses
in the last two days.
282
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,055
Oh, shit. Did you see that?
283
00:13:25,222 --> 00:13:28,350
Now he's gonna try that again
and he keeps screwing up.
284
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,102
So this time I'm gonna run out
285
00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:32,104
and grab that skateboard.
While I'm doing that
286
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,106
I want you to take the car
around to the corner
287
00:13:34,273 --> 00:13:36,108
and pick me up.
We'll make our getaway, okay?
288
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:38,110
Look, I don't think you should do this.
289
00:13:38,277 --> 00:13:40,654
Kids like that used to beat you up
and I bet you they still can.
290
00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:43,032
There he goes. There he goes.
Meet me on the corner.
291
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,500
Fuck.
292
00:13:56,670 --> 00:13:58,672
Hey, dude!
293
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:01,842
Yo, hey!
294
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,928
Hey!
295
00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,269
Open up. Open the door.
Push the button.
296
00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:14,480
I'm opening it. I'm opening it.
I'm hitting the button.
297
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:15,981
Push the button, Ray.
Push the button.
298
00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:17,191
Go go.
299
00:14:17,358 --> 00:14:19,610
Open the door.
Open the door.
300
00:14:19,777 --> 00:14:21,278
Fuck.
Fuck.
301
00:14:21,445 --> 00:14:22,446
Oh, God.
302
00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:24,448
( Honks horn )
303
00:14:24,615 --> 00:14:25,783
Get back here!
304
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,516
( Tires screech )
305
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:51,892
Come on, get in, get in.
306
00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:55,187
Go go go go go. Just go.
307
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:09,451
( Horn honks )
308
00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:13,414
I was getting worried
you wouldn't show.
309
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:14,873
I'm sorry.
310
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,250
Get in, get in, get in.
311
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,921
Now what's with the skateboard?
312
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,923
I don't want you looking that young.
313
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,758
I had to pick this up
for that woman that I met.
314
00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:27,719
I was... it's a long story.
315
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:31,306
So what do you think?
Ls the outfit youthful?
316
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:34,601
Well, a little... the beret.
317
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:37,104
Yeah, you're right.
You're right. You're right.
318
00:15:37,271 --> 00:15:40,774
I have never seen you so nervous
about a woman before.
319
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:44,278
I know. It's the first
unabashed crush I've had in years...
320
00:15:44,445 --> 00:15:46,447
She's bright; She's beautiful;
321
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,907
The whole armpit madness.
322
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,576
Do you have any dope?
323
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,494
Yeah.
324
00:15:52,661 --> 00:15:54,163
Steven, we're gonna
smoke pot back here.
325
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:55,456
Is that all right with you?
326
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,666
That's fine, Mr. Christopher.
327
00:16:00,878 --> 00:16:03,297
I'm very excited to see her.
328
00:16:03,464 --> 00:16:05,883
Do I smell like dope?
329
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:08,218
I can't tell.
I was in the car with you.
330
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,679
My nose is full of pot smell.
331
00:16:10,846 --> 00:16:12,681
Are we too stoned?
332
00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:15,726
My feet feel really
interesting in my shoes.
333
00:16:15,893 --> 00:16:17,728
We might be,
334
00:16:17,895 --> 00:16:21,440
but we'll get you a drink
and stabilize.
335
00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:23,650
- Okay okay.
- Yeah, okay.
336
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,072
George Christopher.
337
00:16:33,911 --> 00:16:36,788
( Dance music playing )
338
00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:40,334
God, these people are young.
339
00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:42,336
But this is exciting, right?
340
00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:45,255
Brooklyn's exciting.
It's the new Manhattan.
341
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,049
I may have to move to Brooklyn.
342
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,842
If Brooklyn is the new Manhattan,
343
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,969
what's Manhattan?
344
00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,347
Manhattan's the new Queens.
345
00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:56,183
And Queens is the new Brooklyn.
346
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,519
And Brooklyn is... oh, here she comes.
347
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,897
Mr. Christopher,
what are you doing here?
348
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:05,317
Truth is, I saw a listing of your opening
349
00:17:05,484 --> 00:17:07,694
in the food section of my own magazine
350
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,196
and I thought I'd just pop in.
351
00:17:09,363 --> 00:17:12,199
Well, that's so nice of you.
Ls your food writer here?
352
00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:14,660
Yes, Jonathan here is
one of our best writers
353
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,120
and he's going to cover the opening
354
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:18,372
and give it a big spread.
355
00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:21,750
- ( laughs )
- Whoa. Gee.
356
00:17:21,917 --> 00:17:23,377
Thank you.
357
00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:27,214
Sorry, I'm a big hugger,
Mr. Christopher.
358
00:17:27,381 --> 00:17:28,757
I do it when I get nervous.
359
00:17:28,924 --> 00:17:30,551
Hugs are good.
No, hugs are good.
360
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,219
I'd better go see
how the chef's doing.
361
00:17:32,386 --> 00:17:34,388
She's prepared an incredible
362
00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:37,099
slow-roasted Polder Side Farms
organic pig
363
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:40,394
that will be served in a gribiche sauce
364
00:17:40,561 --> 00:17:43,730
and garnished with wild pheasant egg yolk
and Seckel pears.
365
00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:45,732
God, that sounds amazing.
366
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,901
I have a really profound hunger.
367
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,571
Okay, Mr. Christopher.
368
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,907
Well, I think that went well enough.
369
00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:57,369
I don't think she could tell
we were stoned.
370
00:17:57,536 --> 00:18:01,248
Calling me "Mr. Christopher"
is not that promising,
371
00:18:01,415 --> 00:18:03,750
but the hug... the hug
was a good sign, right?
372
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,211
I mean, women don't
touch you if they don't like you.
373
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:08,922
No no, she seemed great.
374
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:11,258
Maybe Emily would show us the kitchen.
375
00:18:11,425 --> 00:18:13,093
It wouldn't be a bad idea for us to know
376
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,761
where the fire exits are, right?
377
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,930
- ( Applause )
- Oh, here comes the pig.
378
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:19,933
( Cheering )
379
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:33,947
Uh, when I was 13 years old
380
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,657
I first had foie gras
381
00:18:35,824 --> 00:18:38,702
and it absolutely transported me
to another dimension.
382
00:18:38,869 --> 00:18:41,830
( Clamoring )
383
00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:43,290
Shh.
384
00:18:43,457 --> 00:18:45,292
( Chef chuckles )
385
00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:47,794
And since then it has been my dream
386
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,839
to make food
that would change your lives.
387
00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:52,633
So...
388
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,344
( crowd exclaims )
389
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:58,055
That's 'cause of you, big nose.
390
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:04,227
( Sobbing )
391
00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:10,317
To the chef.
392
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:17,824
( Sighs )
393
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:19,534
George, George, George.
394
00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:22,663
George, I'm so sorry.
I'm really so sorry.
395
00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,499
What exactly happened back there?
396
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:27,501
I mean, who were those kids?
397
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:29,670
Well, they're just some kids
from my neighborhood.
398
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:33,131
And it's kind of a long story,
399
00:19:33,298 --> 00:19:36,176
but in a nutshell, they don't like me
and they pick on me.
400
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,261
You're 30 years old, Jonathan.
401
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:40,931
I know, I know. Is there anything
I can do to make this up to you?
402
00:19:41,098 --> 00:19:42,933
I'm so sorry that Emily is upset.
403
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,768
I'm dropping the whole Emily thing.
404
00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:47,312
I can't date a woman
30 years younger than myself.
405
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,314
What the hell was I thinking?
406
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,316
20 years is a good cutoff.
407
00:19:51,483 --> 00:19:53,443
- I think that's more reasonable.
- Very reasonable.
408
00:19:53,610 --> 00:19:55,862
- Or 25. That's not bad either.
- 25 also good, George.
409
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,699
- Get in.
- Okay.
410
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:02,536
Steven, could you
drop me off somewhere?
411
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,916
( Doorbell buzzes )
412
00:20:12,129 --> 00:20:14,589
- Jonathan.
- I got David's skateboard back.
413
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:17,718
And we're going for a drink, right?
414
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,720
No no, I can't. I'm sorry.
415
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,722
David is having terrible allergies.
416
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,765
He ate some gluten in school today
417
00:20:23,932 --> 00:20:26,977
and his wrists are definitely
a little bit swollen.
418
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:30,397
And I think I should tell you
419
00:20:30,564 --> 00:20:33,984
that David is not comfortable with me
dating anyone just yet.
420
00:20:34,151 --> 00:20:37,487
And we're a team.
We're a beautiful unit.
421
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:40,282
I don't want to upset him.
422
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:44,077
But thank you for this.
423
00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:46,913
I hope it wasn't too hard.
David will be thrilled.
424
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,415
You're welcome.
425
00:20:48,582 --> 00:20:51,084
I really have to put
some ice on his wrists.
426
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,253
Maybe in a few weeks...
427
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,384
I'll call you.
428
00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:04,848
( Skateboards approaching )
429
00:21:11,772 --> 00:21:13,356
Francisco:
Hey! Hey, big nose!
430
00:21:14,608 --> 00:21:16,151
( Theme music playing )
431
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:22,324
♪ All the shadows in the city ♪
432
00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:26,870
♪ Used to love you,
what a pity ♪
433
00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:30,624
♪ I miss the questions
you used to ask me ♪
434
00:21:30,791 --> 00:21:34,377
♪ All the shadows in the city ♪
435
00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:36,046
♪ All right ♪
436
00:21:39,132 --> 00:21:43,261
♪ Bored to death,
plus expenses ♪
437
00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:47,390
♪ The only trouble
is my sentence ♪
438
00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:51,061
♪ You said you'd never
love another ♪
439
00:21:51,228 --> 00:21:55,357
♪ A Russian doll,
one inside the other. ♪
31767
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