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1
00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:07,924
[cell door slams]
2
00:00:08,716 --> 00:00:10,052
[theme song playing]
3
00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:58,850
[cell door slams]
4
00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:16,576
[cell door slams]
5
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,081
[shoe squeaking]
6
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,041
-[panting]
-White flight!
7
00:01:25,293 --> 00:01:26,711
Should we trip her?
8
00:01:26,794 --> 00:01:28,171
Nah. Let it play out.
9
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,298
-What will be will be.
-So Zen.
10
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,883
-[panting]
-[Brandy] Oh.
11
00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,260
[Linda grunts]
12
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:37,847
Fuck! I'm really off of my game today.
[panting]
13
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:40,433
Anyone know if Mercury's in retrograde?
[clicks tongue]
14
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,937
I ain't buyin'
the whole Counterfeit Cunt story.
15
00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:46,939
Don't smell right to me.
16
00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:49,651
Hands are too clean for a forger.
She'd be inky.
17
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:51,736
[gasps] Or maybe she's just
such a good forger,
18
00:01:51,819 --> 00:01:53,280
she went ahead and forged herself.
19
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,157
[scoffs and clicks tongue]
20
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,408
What?
21
00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,077
How's she so fast?
22
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,579
Adrenaline and lies.
23
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,500
[panting]
24
00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:07,419
[grunts]
25
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,344
[panting]
26
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,598
Yeah, you fully hiding, ain't you?
27
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,225
Fuckin' thermometer planet.
28
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,358
Come on! One more round.
29
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,986
I ain't playing with you no more.
"Gyno" is a word.
30
00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:37,782
It's an abbreviation of a word.
31
00:02:37,865 --> 00:02:40,535
It's not a word in and of itself.
32
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,661
[Frieda] Scrabble rules.
33
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:46,040
No capitalized words, foreign words,
abbreviations,
34
00:02:46,123 --> 00:02:49,752
or words requiring apostrophes or hyphens.
35
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,128
But this ain't Scrabble.
36
00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:53,423
And what the fuck is X-Y-S-T?
37
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,509
It's an ancient Greek or Roman
covered portico.
38
00:02:57,427 --> 00:03:00,680
-Sounds foreign to me.
-It's an architectural term.
39
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,516
[chuckles softly]
40
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,185
Fine. Forgive me for trying.
41
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,062
I'm getting a migraine.
42
00:03:08,145 --> 00:03:09,772
I'm too baked to focus.
43
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,858
[Frieda] Well, lucky you.
44
00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:15,403
Better bored down here
than up there in The Purge.
45
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:17,489
[Anita] So you say.
46
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:20,157
For all we know, it's a party up there.
47
00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:22,076
[Frieda] Then go.
48
00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:25,872
Nah. It's probably The Purge.
49
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,792
Congratulations, Red.
50
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:32,545
You got me.
51
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:36,090
Oh, did Mommy not tell you
about her secret plan?
52
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:38,843
-[groans]
-What was it again, comrade?
53
00:03:38,926 --> 00:03:41,513
You were gonna catfish me
into a mousetrap,
54
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,097
and then what?
55
00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:45,892
Stab me to death
with your sharp Russian wit?
56
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:49,896
-[Piper grunting]
-You want to talk about half-baked plans?
57
00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:52,940
You've captured six women
in a closet.
58
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,777
Such a big strong man.
59
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:56,986
[Piper groans]
60
00:03:57,069 --> 00:03:59,864
But what about all those
other little chickens out there, huh?
61
00:03:59,947 --> 00:04:03,451
Ready to pluck your feathers
and rip off your balls?
62
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:06,288
There are 20 women guarding the hostages.
63
00:04:07,204 --> 00:04:09,666
Three hundred more
are strolling around the hallways,
64
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:13,378
hungry and bored,
looking for some action.
65
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,923
-[Piper grunting]
-What exactly were you thinking you'd do?
66
00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:18,925
You think I'm here to rescue the hostages?
67
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:22,929
I've taught my guards
to fend for themselves.
68
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:26,474
I'm here for you, Reznikov.
69
00:04:28,100 --> 00:04:30,437
And I like an audience when I work,
70
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,439
so I've invited your family here to watch.
71
00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:33,773
[all grunting]
72
00:04:33,856 --> 00:04:35,608
[mumbling in Spanish]
Abominable snow-fuck!
73
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:38,653
Girls, listen to me. Stay calm.
I'll take care of this.
74
00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:40,863
Come on.
Look, you're not a psycho.
75
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,533
So why don't you just go out there
and rescue your people
76
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,618
like a big, hairless hero,
77
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,329
and then just leave us to lick our wounds.
78
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,456
Well, first...
79
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,958
-I'm going to inflict some...
-[Red groans]
80
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,167
[Piper groans]
81
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:54,586
...junkie.
82
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,839
And then you can lick away.
83
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,258
-[Piper grunting]
-Go ahead,
84
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,010
make all the noise you want.
No one's gonna hear you.
85
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,554
[muffled] Motherfucker!
86
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:06,306
[shuddering]
87
00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:07,890
[indistinct chatter]
88
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:13,855
[inmates clamoring]
89
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,108
Eleven o'clock is lights-out.
90
00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:19,444
We do one last bunk check
before shutting things down.
91
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,988
-What about reading lights?
-Not allowed.
92
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:24,156
Half these animals are illiterate anyway.
93
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,493
Okay. And should I make sure
the inmates are in their beds?
94
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,120
[chuckles] Just check the doors.
95
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:31,581
The prison's old,
and they get stuck sometimes.
96
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,249
You take D block.
97
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,042
-I'll do B.
-Yes, sir.
98
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,143
[inmate] I ain't going nowhere.
99
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,440
Oh, shit!
100
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,197
Out of bounds, inmate.
That's a shot.
101
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:08,910
Don't worry. No one saw.
102
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,290
What's your name, inmate?
103
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,375
Wes Driscoll.
104
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:20,004
-Fool.
-What was that?
105
00:06:20,087 --> 00:06:22,131
Four, down, "Fool."
106
00:06:22,214 --> 00:06:23,883
Insubordination.
That's another shot.
107
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:25,301
No, your crossword puzzle.
108
00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:29,806
"Falstaff, Puck, or Bottom."
109
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,223
Bottom?
110
00:06:33,768 --> 00:06:34,769
Yeah.
111
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,771
It's from A Midsummer Night's Dream.
112
00:06:36,854 --> 00:06:39,106
I didn't know it either, but I...
I looked it up.
113
00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,746
It feels like it's there,
but then it's not there.
114
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:57,416
My grandpa lost part of his right leg
in Vietnam,
115
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,627
and he totally felt
like it was still there, too.
116
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,463
But it wasn't a problem.
117
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,048
Except for when he tried
to kick my grandma.
118
00:07:04,131 --> 00:07:06,175
But after a while,
she'd just fake like he got her
119
00:07:06,258 --> 00:07:08,720
-so that she wouldn't hurt his feelings.
-[laughs]
120
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,262
-[gasps] Barbecue chip!
-[gasps]
121
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,771
It's just a bloody piece of human flesh
with a little nail on it.
122
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,567
Oh, my God.
123
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,902
-[gasping]
-It's your fingertip!
124
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,779
-That's my finger!
-Ah!
125
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,532
[Caputo] Underfunded, understaffed...
126
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,076
borderline criminal.
127
00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:33,244
And worst of all,
128
00:07:33,327 --> 00:07:36,372
part of a cynical ploy to jam
hundreds more inmates
129
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,459
into this crumbling turd of a campus,
130
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,670
so that MCC can scam
even more taxpayer dollars.
131
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:44,672
[Taystee] Ooh!
132
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,508
[Caputo] They never had any intention
133
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:49,594
of giving these women
actual life skills...
134
00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:53,055
[stammering] or just paying them,
paying them for their labor.
135
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,600
Uh-huh. That's right, Mr. C.
You tell her.
136
00:07:56,768 --> 00:08:00,312
Look, Joe. You can jab your long finger
all over the place.
137
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:02,857
At MCC, at me...
138
00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,485
but let's be honest,
139
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,737
shouldn't you also be pointing it
at yourself?
140
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:14,118
Oh, fucking spare me, Natalie.
141
00:08:14,201 --> 00:08:16,579
You know a thing or two
about how this prison
142
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:20,667
became a fucking cesspit
of corruption, don't you?
143
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:24,879
From the bad plumbing
to the faulty wiring,
144
00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:27,214
to the poor employee vetting standard,
145
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,842
[stutters] the nonexistent
staff training program,
146
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,844
and... and, and, and, and...
147
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,681
[softly] The ass-tasting food.
148
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,974
Doctors who can't tell a pussy
from a hole in the ground.
149
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:40,061
Us having to dig holes in the ground.
150
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:42,855
White COs walkin' 'round
like it's Animal Farm
151
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,191
and they the pigs.
You tell her that.
152
00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,860
Inedible food. Subpar health care.
153
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,571
-Mmm.
-Manual labor.
154
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,280
-Racial profiling.
-Mmm-hmm.
155
00:08:51,363 --> 00:08:52,949
Indiscriminate punishment.
156
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,951
[whispers] And guards that sit around
jerking off all day.
157
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,285
Guards that sit around j...
158
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,414
Not doing their jobs.
159
00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:05,002
And their security protocol... so lax
160
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:10,132
that a CO managed to waltz in here
with a loaded firearm.
161
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:15,137
And who's ultimately responsible
for all prison operations,
162
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,890
including, but not limited to,
163
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:22,144
inmate safety,
work and recreation programs,
164
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,856
guard training, and so forth?
165
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,401
The warden.
166
00:09:30,402 --> 00:09:32,864
And who's that, Joe?
167
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:35,407
Who's the man?
168
00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:37,284
[Taystee] Come on, Mr. C.
169
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:38,953
You got this.
170
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,287
Ain't that right...
171
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:43,082
Man, where the fuck did everyone go?
172
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:49,296
It's the middle of the night.
Even rioters need to sleep sometimes.
173
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,674
Pee. Now I'm free, free to pee.
174
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,594
[shower running]
175
00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,477
-[toilet flushes]
-Ghosts are not real.
176
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:09,066
Ghosts are not real!
And clowns can't help it!
177
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,611
They're just doing their job!
178
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:12,945
[inmate gasps]
179
00:10:17,449 --> 00:10:18,492
[sighs]
180
00:10:22,579 --> 00:10:23,998
My face is wrong.
181
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,835
My face...
182
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:31,714
is under...
183
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:34,967
the wrong.
184
00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,812
Love the face God gave you, Suzanne.
185
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,563
[exhales heavily] Black is beautiful.
186
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:51,400
From your hair to your derriere,
your nose to your toes.
187
00:10:51,483 --> 00:10:54,195
You make all the colors...
188
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:55,487
pop!
189
00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:08,876
Wash your face, or you'll get acne.
190
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,964
Don't pick the acne, or you'll get scars!
191
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,676
[humming]
192
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:29,939
[water stops]
193
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,651
Your skin is beautiful.
194
00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:38,697
Like...
195
00:11:40,407 --> 00:11:41,658
walnut wood...
196
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:44,912
and soil.
197
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,126
And...
198
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,380
western coneflowers.
199
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,969
And... old metal.
200
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,763
[breathing heavily]
201
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:07,101
[whispers]
And dark maple syrup in brown jars.
202
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:15,985
But wear a hat,
or else your skin will get darker.
203
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,863
And always, always moisturize!
204
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:20,907
[Maureen] Suzanne?
205
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:24,493
I need to moisturize.
206
00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:25,870
It's very important.
207
00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:36,130
Maureen, do you have moisturizer?
208
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:38,715
Please.
209
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,052
Oh, no good.
210
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,806
No good.
211
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:47,141
-[groans softly]
-But don't worry.
212
00:12:47,224 --> 00:12:49,143
Your face is under there.
213
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,562
-[groans]
-Oh!
214
00:12:51,645 --> 00:12:53,272
And it's beautiful.
215
00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:56,775
I know you don't see it right now,
but you will one day.
216
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:00,362
It feels hot.
[breathes heavily]
217
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:04,241
I think it's time to ask for help,
218
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:07,536
'cause sometimes you need help
219
00:13:07,619 --> 00:13:10,164
and it's okay to ask.
220
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:13,750
All I need is a poultice of bergamot
221
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:17,504
and camphor
and the muddled eyelash of a virgin--
222
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,966
No. No. Medical.
223
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,384
We are going to Medical.
224
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,096
The grown-ups have to help us now.
225
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,347
[groans]
226
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,474
[inmate snoring]
227
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:33,687
[Ouija sighs]
228
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:36,565
[clears throat]
229
00:13:36,648 --> 00:13:37,649
[Gloria scoffs]
230
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,069
You're the hardest-working pair of bitches
231
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,154
ever step foot in this prison,
you know that?
232
00:13:42,779 --> 00:13:45,657
Thirty-two hour shift?
No breaks?
233
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:46,825
I'm impressed.
234
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:49,245
We took a break
for that Pennsatucky trial thing.
235
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,372
And the coffee shop, but that was work.
236
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:53,124
Entertaining is work.
237
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,917
Latina Fey over here.
238
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,085
[clicks tongue] Nah, man.
239
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:59,213
She only do that one dumbass Alaska lady
with the fucked-up-ass kids.
240
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:02,299
Yeah, I got more range than that.
I'm like Kate McKinnon.
241
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:03,800
Kate Dominican-on.
242
00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:07,804
-[laughing]
-Yo, you better than that. What the fuck?
243
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:08,973
[groans]
244
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:11,225
Did that coffee shop even happen?
245
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:12,643
Seemed forever ago.
246
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,939
[sighs] You don't even remember
what's, uh, real or fake anymore.
247
00:14:17,689 --> 00:14:19,608
You both need a break.
248
00:14:19,691 --> 00:14:21,193
Nah, we stayin' right here.
249
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:24,238
Not takin' our eyes off of them
till negotiation's all wrapped up.
250
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,823
Mmm. Now Daya turned herself in...
251
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,201
-[sniffs] should be any day now.
-[grunts]
252
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,578
-[Pidge sighs]
-All right, listen, though.
253
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:32,872
Come on, for real.
254
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:36,083
If this is gonna go on for a few
more days, you girls got to get some rest.
255
00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:38,085
The human body...
256
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:41,964
um, starts shutting down after 31 hours
without sleep, did you know that?
257
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,341
No way. Like what?
258
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,761
When was the last time you took a piss?
259
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,474
-Oh.
-[exhales heavily]
260
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,351
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's the kidneys shuttin' down. Shit.
261
00:14:54,435 --> 00:14:55,436
What?
262
00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,229
Uh, well, maybe a quick power nap?
263
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,605
Go. I got it covered.
264
00:14:58,689 --> 00:14:59,815
Go get some sleep.
265
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,609
Maybe somewhere else.
You know, in one of the rooms.
266
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:05,404
Privacy.
Shut out the noise, the lights.
267
00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,032
Huh? They got double mattresses in there.
268
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:09,658
-[sighs]
-Yeah?
269
00:15:09,741 --> 00:15:10,952
All right. Only for a little,
though, all right?
270
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,161
You know,
so we can come back fresh.
271
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:15,247
Of course. Sweet dreams, right?
[chuckles]
272
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,790
[sighs] Yeah.
273
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,168
[Gloria] Try to pee.
274
00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:22,838
[sighs]
275
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:28,344
Enough cayenne here to survive
an apocalypse or two.
276
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,846
Keeps cats away
if you sprinkle it on the ground.
277
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:34,391
You know something we don't?
Are the Martians comin'?
278
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:37,894
Ladies, please, back off my shit!
279
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:39,771
Everything has a place.
280
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,483
I mean, it's good to be
prepared for anything,
281
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:45,736
but this is, like,
Hitler-level preparation.
282
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,280
-No offense.
-None taken.
283
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,573
The man was prepared.
284
00:15:49,656 --> 00:15:50,866
Who's Bone?
285
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,410
Stop mucking around.
286
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,536
Bone a big fella?
287
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:58,707
Bone is short for Skin and Bones.
288
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:03,129
He was a kid who volunteered here
back in the '70s.
289
00:16:03,795 --> 00:16:05,839
He ran the swim fitness program.
290
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,052
But then they drained the pool,
and that was that.
291
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:15,599
How come he sent you a postcard
from Guatemala in '82?
292
00:16:15,682 --> 00:16:17,934
Why did he sign it, "Love"?
293
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,436
[grunts softly] Dang.
294
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,149
Who wants to go spelunking?
295
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,483
Is this dynamite?
296
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,903
I wouldn't mind a roll in the hay
with this one.
297
00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:31,532
Okay! Enough!
298
00:16:32,866 --> 00:16:34,618
Everybody, sit down!
299
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:42,459
No more touching
what ain't yours to touch.
300
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,753
Bunch of careless stoners!
301
00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:47,881
You are guests in my home!
302
00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:51,760
Don't make me trigger the booby traps.
303
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,181
You're pathetic. You know that?
304
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,308
-[spits]
-[sighs]
305
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,809
[Piper grunting]
306
00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,276
What happened to you
that you're like this, Piscatella?
307
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,777
Huh?
308
00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:12,906
What? Were you, uh,
a pet-killing scourge of the cul-de-sac?
309
00:17:12,989 --> 00:17:16,243
Or was it more
of a Drama of the Gifted Child situation?
310
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,288
-Huh?
-[Alex grunting]
311
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:23,875
Did Papa Piscatella rage on you
for being "Little Desi the queer"?
312
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:25,419
Watch closely, Nichols,
313
00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,171
'cause you're gonna be
contestant number two.
314
00:17:27,254 --> 00:17:28,964
Come on, man.
315
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,509
I genuinely would love to understand
316
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,554
how it is that a man
gets to be this fucked up!
317
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,889
-[Nicky groans]
-[Piper grunting]
318
00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:39,683
[all grunting]
319
00:17:39,766 --> 00:17:41,017
[Nicky] Come on!
320
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,979
What's the original narcissistic wound?
321
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,732
Nicky, stop.
He doesn't speak human.
322
00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:50,152
[Piscatella] Now that is right, Stalina.
323
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,363
Because I discovered a long time ago
324
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,490
that actions speak
a whole lot louder than words.
325
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:55,991
[breathing shakily]
326
00:17:56,075 --> 00:18:02,706
Inmates will always try to cheat,
manipulate or deceive you.
327
00:18:02,789 --> 00:18:04,875
-There must be consequences.
-[groans]
328
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:06,042
-Stop it!
-[Blanca yelling indistinctly]
329
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,504
-[Nicky] Fucking stop it!
-[Piper grunting]
330
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:10,297
The fuck is wrong with you?
331
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,715
[muffled grunting in the distance]
332
00:18:11,798 --> 00:18:12,883
Did you guys hear something?
333
00:18:14,801 --> 00:18:16,428
Riots are noisy.
334
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,848
-Stop it.
-[muffled sobbing]
335
00:18:19,931 --> 00:18:21,892
No. Go right ahead.
336
00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:24,353
Do whatever you want, but let them go.
337
00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:26,605
You don't really want witnesses.
338
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:29,108
Oh, but, see, that's the whole point.
339
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:31,777
-I want everyone as a witness...
-[grunts]
340
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:36,115
...when I tear off that mama bear costume
you strut around in so proud.
341
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,659
-[hair tears]
-[grunts] What are you doing?
342
00:18:38,742 --> 00:18:41,162
I'm showing your family
who you really are.
343
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:42,996
[crying]
344
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,082
[gasping]
345
00:18:49,336 --> 00:18:50,421
[groans]
346
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,589
Fucking...
347
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,550
You're a vain...
348
00:18:56,718 --> 00:18:57,928
weak...
349
00:18:58,845 --> 00:19:00,096
pathetic...
350
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:04,476
frail old jailbird.
351
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:10,566
[Big Boo strains]
352
00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:25,706
[indistinct murmuring]
353
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:37,218
You can dye your hair,
paint your face...
354
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:41,347
but it doesn't change
the truth underneath.
355
00:19:49,896 --> 00:19:52,107
Here's your fearless leader, inmates.
356
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:58,447
Look!
357
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:00,449
[groaning] Ow!
358
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:04,495
Look long and hard
at what prison does to a person!
359
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:06,037
[crying]
360
00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:07,748
[Blanca muffled] I swear, I'll kill you!
361
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:09,625
[inmates grunting and straining]
362
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:11,460
[indistinct chatter]
363
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:19,510
Oye, Rosado...
364
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,177
[in Spanish] Look at this fuck.
365
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,097
Light in his loafers, this one.
366
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:25,641
[chuckles]
367
00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:27,309
[in English]
Get the fuck out of here, man.
368
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,769
[in Spanish]
Goliath ain't light in nothin'.
369
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:30,479
I'm telling you,
he a fuckin' fruit cocktail.
370
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,314
[in English] Well, faggot or no...
371
00:20:33,064 --> 00:20:35,317
[in Spanish] It's time he learn
who really runs shit 'round here.
372
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,777
[Piscatella] Excuse me.
373
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,737
Listen up, inmates!
374
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:41,907
Work detail's cut short today
because there's a health inspection,
375
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:44,410
so you'll return to your cells
at the top of the hour.
376
00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:47,371
And, no, you will not be paid
for the lost time.
377
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:50,123
-[inmates protest indistinctly]
-Quit the bitching, please.
378
00:20:50,206 --> 00:20:53,752
Try to remember, you are federal inmates,
not line cooks at Applebee's.
379
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:57,506
Now there's a new shipment of produce
out on the loading dock
380
00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:58,715
that is not gonna move itself.
381
00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:00,676
Rosado, Hernandez,
382
00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:03,470
bring the boxes back in,
and you're done for the day.
383
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:06,181
CO Samuelson will escort you
back to your block.
384
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,559
You guys should go along, too.
There's a lot to carry.
385
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:11,061
All hands on deck.
386
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:13,814
As they say.
387
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:17,901
Driscoll!
388
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:20,070
What is this swill?
389
00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:21,613
Goulash.
390
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,239
What the fuck did you just say to me?
391
00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:24,533
Sorry, sir.
392
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:26,827
It's, uh, beef stew.
393
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:29,621
Yeah. That's what I thought.
394
00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:34,501
All right. All right now.
395
00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:36,252
You can cut it out, Mean Daddy.
396
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:39,214
Did I sell it?
I felt like I was really selling it.
397
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,717
Yeah. I mean,
you're a regular Bruce Willis.
398
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,429
[chuckles] Hey, what'd you get
on 18 across today?
399
00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:46,555
"Dancer's leader."
400
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:49,683
I got "blank, blank, N, T, blank."
401
00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:51,602
I got "S, A, blank..."
402
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,312
Santa!
403
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:55,856
-"Dancer," like the reindeer!
-Nice.
404
00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:56,940
Nice.
405
00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,067
[sighs]
406
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:05,449
Something wrong?
You seem down.
407
00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:08,034
It's stupid.
408
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,538
Nothing that matters to you is stupid.
409
00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:16,627
All right, it's not a big deal.
410
00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:22,924
Rosado and his merry band of bitches
swiped my radio yesterday.
411
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:24,259
I'll kill them.
412
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:26,970
-[chuckling]
-No, seriously, should I kill them?
413
00:22:27,053 --> 00:22:29,390
-No. Come on.
-I'll kill them. I will kill them for you.
414
00:22:30,056 --> 00:22:31,307
I brought you something.
415
00:22:31,392 --> 00:22:32,809
-What?
-Yeah.
416
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:34,561
What, Christmas is coming
early this year, huh?
417
00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:37,063
-It's just a little stocking stuffer.
-[chuckles]
418
00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:38,314
It's, uh...
419
00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:40,901
some chocolate for my chocolate.
420
00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:43,820
[scoffs]
421
00:22:45,447 --> 00:22:48,074
It's always candy with you, huh?
422
00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:52,704
"My caramel swirl."
"My mocha chip."
423
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,373
No. No, I wasn't...
424
00:22:56,583 --> 00:22:59,085
[sighs] I...
425
00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:00,879
I love it.
426
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:03,424
-[sighs]
-[chuckles]
427
00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:07,093
And for the record,
I think your sweet tooth is cute.
428
00:23:08,011 --> 00:23:09,513
You my sugar daddy, huh?
429
00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:11,181
-Huh? [chuckles]
-[chuckles]
430
00:23:12,182 --> 00:23:13,308
When I was a kid,
431
00:23:13,391 --> 00:23:17,187
I used to steal Toblerone triangles
from my mom's PMS stash...
432
00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:19,064
-[chuckles]
-And, this one time, she caught me
433
00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:21,942
and she made me eat
a whole jumbo bar as punishment.
434
00:23:22,025 --> 00:23:23,276
[laughs] Did you puke?
435
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:25,779
No, I ate the whole thing,
and I asked her for another.
436
00:23:25,862 --> 00:23:27,238
[chuckles]
437
00:23:27,322 --> 00:23:30,241
-Insatiable appetite, huh?
-Yeah.
438
00:23:30,325 --> 00:23:33,078
I think that's when she
gave up trying to fix me.
439
00:23:34,162 --> 00:23:35,664
Thank God she did, huh?
440
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:40,293
Look, you're perfect
like God made you.
441
00:23:41,294 --> 00:23:42,879
-You hear me?
-Really?
442
00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:02,774
I hate this.
443
00:24:04,275 --> 00:24:06,361
Having to hide. Having to be apart.
444
00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:07,988
[breathing heavily]
445
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:10,782
Uh, let me show you something.
446
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:12,909
[sighs]
447
00:24:16,204 --> 00:24:20,751
-[Piscatella sighs] What?
-So that you're with me, always.
448
00:24:22,836 --> 00:24:23,837
Forever.
449
00:24:24,796 --> 00:24:26,757
Even if we're apart.
450
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,217
And I told O'Brien
to use a brand-new needle
451
00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:31,637
and a fresh tin of boot wax, okay?
452
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,179
-So... Yeah.
-Good. Yeah.
453
00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:35,849
I also told him it meant
"double penetration," so that...
454
00:24:35,932 --> 00:24:40,020
[chuckles] he wouldn't think of nothing
but the dirty picture in his mind, right?
455
00:24:40,103 --> 00:24:41,688
-[chuckles]
-Hmmm.
456
00:24:43,064 --> 00:24:45,025
Yeah, clean this... clean this up!
457
00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:48,529
Jesus, inmate! Try not to make
such a fucking mess next time!
458
00:24:49,445 --> 00:24:50,531
Yes, sir.
459
00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:52,448
Right there is good, Rosado.
460
00:24:52,533 --> 00:24:53,700
Right there!
461
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:03,919
-[Leanne panting]
-Is there a doctor in the house?
462
00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:06,588
We got to reattach a severed appendix!
463
00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:09,299
Doctor! [whimpers]
464
00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:12,260
-Oh! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
-What's wrong?
465
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:14,137
-It's an emergency.
-Wait.
466
00:25:15,055 --> 00:25:16,723
He is way too buff to be a doctor.
467
00:25:17,849 --> 00:25:21,394
He's like one of those TV types who knows,
like, all that medical mumbo jumbo,
468
00:25:21,477 --> 00:25:22,896
but can't find his ass with his two hands.
469
00:25:22,979 --> 00:25:24,815
Quick. Can you sew this back on?
470
00:25:30,153 --> 00:25:31,613
It's been detached too long.
471
00:25:31,697 --> 00:25:33,949
-The tissue sustained too much damage.
-[sighs]
472
00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:37,202
-[Leanne whimpers]
-Also, it's covered in Cheetos dust.
473
00:25:37,285 --> 00:25:39,788
And I'm a prison nurse,
not a plastic surgeon.
474
00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:42,498
And I've barely slept in days.
475
00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:45,919
And I only took this job
to earn enough to buy my own paraglider
476
00:25:46,002 --> 00:25:47,879
and a one-way ticket to Denali.
477
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:51,507
And now, I don't even know
if I'm gonna get out of here alive.
478
00:25:52,634 --> 00:25:53,719
So there's no hope?
479
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:58,014
But what about a finger transplant,
Doctor Samosa?
480
00:25:58,098 --> 00:25:59,474
[Leanne softly] Ooh.
481
00:25:59,557 --> 00:26:01,476
Who would be my organ donor?
482
00:26:01,559 --> 00:26:04,020
-One of the skinheads maybe?
-Yeah.
483
00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:07,065
But you got to make sure
you know what she's in for first.
484
00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:08,566
'Cause you don't want to go around, like,
485
00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:11,444
murdering people
with your murdery fingertip.
486
00:26:11,527 --> 00:26:13,029
Pick, um, a meth cooker.
487
00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:14,906
Oh! Or the forger lady!
488
00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:16,282
Like, someone with a useful skill.
489
00:26:17,868 --> 00:26:19,620
Well, what about Gandhi over there?
490
00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:22,413
-I'll have the healing touch.
-[scoffs] Too brown.
491
00:26:22,497 --> 00:26:24,457
But a man's finger could be nice.
492
00:26:28,837 --> 00:26:30,380
-I got an idea.
-[chuckles]
493
00:26:30,463 --> 00:26:31,464
Come on.
494
00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:36,720
Oh, no.
495
00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:39,640
You're comin' with us.
496
00:26:40,641 --> 00:26:44,144
[Pennsatucky singing]
♪ So kiss a little longer ♪
497
00:26:45,061 --> 00:26:47,648
♪ Hold tight a little longer ♪
498
00:26:48,231 --> 00:26:51,777
♪ Make it last a little longer ♪
499
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:54,821
♪ Longer with Big Red! ♪
500
00:26:54,905 --> 00:27:00,576
♪ 'Cause that Big Red freshness
Lasts right through it ♪
501
00:27:00,661 --> 00:27:06,207
♪ Your fresh breath goes on and on
While you chew it ♪
502
00:27:06,291 --> 00:27:09,169
[both] ♪ Say goodbye a little longer ♪
503
00:27:09,252 --> 00:27:11,880
♪ Make it last a little longer ♪
504
00:27:11,963 --> 00:27:14,758
♪ Give your breath
Long-lasting freshness... ♪
505
00:27:14,841 --> 00:27:17,260
[chuckles]
♪ With Big Red ♪
506
00:27:17,343 --> 00:27:19,387
[both chuckle]
507
00:27:22,808 --> 00:27:24,475
-Hi.
-[chuckles] Hi.
508
00:27:26,352 --> 00:27:27,353
Um...
509
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:30,648
I don't know you,
but whatever's going on over there,
510
00:27:30,732 --> 00:27:32,776
it sounds rough, and, um...
511
00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:35,070
I hope you're okay.
512
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:37,155
Thank you.
513
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:41,617
I was only trying to help.
514
00:27:42,535 --> 00:27:44,955
Now it doesn't matter what I do,
you know, no matter...
515
00:27:45,038 --> 00:27:48,416
how hard I try to prove,
or whatever... [sniffles]
516
00:27:50,251 --> 00:27:54,047
You know, no one's gonna see me
any different. Feels like...
517
00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:57,175
[sniffles] life's just fucking weird,
you know?
518
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,136
Yeah.
519
00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:03,223
[sniffles] Just once we start
down these... these paths,
520
00:28:03,306 --> 00:28:05,308
it's really hard to get off of it.
You know?
521
00:28:06,893 --> 00:28:09,229
[clicks tongue] Yeah, I, uh...
522
00:28:12,148 --> 00:28:13,441
empathize.
523
00:28:16,862 --> 00:28:20,448
[Fig] You need to look at this
from a broader perspective.
524
00:28:20,531 --> 00:28:23,618
There is only so much
taxpayer money available.
525
00:28:23,701 --> 00:28:25,746
You want to tell the kids
at PS whatever
526
00:28:25,829 --> 00:28:28,706
that their music program's been canceled
527
00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:32,418
because a bunch of inmates need
to cage their rage with arts and crafts?
528
00:28:33,336 --> 00:28:38,508
This is not about resource allocation,
it's about priorities.
529
00:28:38,591 --> 00:28:42,971
Is the goal to rehabilitate these women,
or line the pockets of MCC's shareholders?
530
00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:45,515
Who gives a shit about MCC?
531
00:28:45,598 --> 00:28:48,101
You are arguing with the wrong bogeyman.
532
00:28:48,184 --> 00:28:53,857
I represent the governor,
and his priority is that we end this ASAP.
533
00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:58,653
Well, it's my priority to make sure
we do right by these women.
534
00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:01,239
And why do you think I'm here, Joe?
535
00:29:01,322 --> 00:29:04,910
To have a threesome with you
and that lunatic who ran in here before?
536
00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:08,246
I gave years of my life to this place.
537
00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:13,293
I know I took my share,
538
00:29:13,376 --> 00:29:15,962
but maybe that's why I'm here,
539
00:29:16,046 --> 00:29:19,800
pulling an all-nighter
in this raging dumpster fire,
540
00:29:19,883 --> 00:29:22,468
trying to resolve this peacefully.
541
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:23,929
So come on.
542
00:29:25,138 --> 00:29:26,556
Meet me halfway.
543
00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:31,061
You're not going to reinvent
the prison-industrial complex
544
00:29:31,144 --> 00:29:33,646
in your shit-stained boxers.
545
00:29:33,729 --> 00:29:35,982
The system is broken.
546
00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:37,442
[scoffs]
547
00:29:37,525 --> 00:29:39,360
And how'd it get to be that way, huh?
548
00:29:40,361 --> 00:29:42,906
You think a toothy middle manager
549
00:29:42,989 --> 00:29:45,200
with holes in her pocket
had something to do with that?
550
00:29:45,283 --> 00:29:48,369
Well, a petty bureaucrat
who needs constant stroking
551
00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:49,830
didn't exactly move it along.
552
00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:51,497
Well, at least I tried, Natalie.
553
00:29:51,581 --> 00:29:53,458
-If you hadn't come before me--
-Once.
554
00:29:54,375 --> 00:29:57,838
-And even then, it was a photo finish.
-Nice.
555
00:29:57,921 --> 00:29:59,755
-Real nice.
-[Fig sighs]
556
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:01,174
You woke us up for this shit?
557
00:30:01,257 --> 00:30:03,134
This is a disaster.
558
00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:06,554
Yeah, this is not
a healthy relationship right here.
559
00:30:06,637 --> 00:30:08,431
-I think it's kinda hot, actually.
-[bickering indistinctly]
560
00:30:08,514 --> 00:30:11,852
So... [inhales sharply] angry and sweaty.
561
00:30:11,935 --> 00:30:14,395
Like they wanna fuck each other to death.
562
00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:17,941
We ain't never gonna get to Bayley
with this shit.
563
00:30:18,024 --> 00:30:21,694
Not a single new demand has even been
agreed on since they started scrappin'.
564
00:30:21,777 --> 00:30:24,572
Man, I keep tellin' you, T,
white people mess up everything.
565
00:30:24,655 --> 00:30:28,159
Mmm-hmm.
Twerking, cornrows, Africa...
566
00:30:29,077 --> 00:30:30,578
the White House.
567
00:30:30,661 --> 00:30:32,247
[scoffs] She got a point.
568
00:30:32,330 --> 00:30:34,374
Face it, Joe.
You fucked this up.
569
00:30:34,457 --> 00:30:37,335
And I don't think it's the first time
you've heard that, is it?
570
00:30:37,418 --> 00:30:39,504
It's kind of like you have
the reverse Midas touch.
571
00:30:39,587 --> 00:30:42,048
Everything you put your hands on
turns to shit.
572
00:30:42,132 --> 00:30:43,133
Hmm.
573
00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:45,801
Now, what's that make you, sweetheart?
574
00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:49,722
Yo, what the fuck is goin' on?
575
00:30:50,556 --> 00:30:53,018
Y'all supposed to be negotiatin'.
576
00:30:53,101 --> 00:30:55,520
I don't know what kinda
pervy pillow talk this is,
577
00:30:55,603 --> 00:30:57,188
but cut it the fuck out!
578
00:30:57,272 --> 00:30:59,190
We got important business to take care of,
579
00:30:59,274 --> 00:31:02,610
and it's two o'clock
in the goddamn morning, so sit down!
580
00:31:04,195 --> 00:31:05,196
[Fig sighs]
581
00:31:10,618 --> 00:31:12,120
[reporter on TV]
Coming up in this hour...
582
00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:15,874
date night with the newly-exonerated
"Cannibal Cop,"
583
00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:19,335
an update from the standoff
at Litchfield Penitentiary,
584
00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:22,797
and a sneak peek
at the surprising accessory "It Girls"
585
00:31:22,881 --> 00:31:25,133
will be carrying next month
at Fashion Week.
586
00:31:25,216 --> 00:31:28,136
[grunting] Turn that shit off, man.
It's making my eyes bleed.
587
00:31:28,219 --> 00:31:30,013
Well, ain't you perfectly prepared, then.
588
00:31:30,096 --> 00:31:32,848
[clicks tongue and groans]
Look, let me help you.
589
00:31:33,934 --> 00:31:35,768
[sighs] It's dogs.
590
00:31:36,978 --> 00:31:38,729
The new accessory is dogs.
591
00:31:38,813 --> 00:31:40,315
-How you know that?
-[sighs]
592
00:31:40,398 --> 00:31:42,317
'Cause crazy bitches
are always looking for ways
593
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,110
to carry their fucking dogs
around with them.
594
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,907
My sister keeps her pet Chihuahua,
Hannibal, in her shirt pocket.
595
00:31:50,951 --> 00:31:53,369
I can't get enough of this
24 hour news, man.
596
00:31:53,453 --> 00:31:56,789
They never stop talking, even when
there's nothing left to talk about.
597
00:31:56,872 --> 00:31:58,291
It's like...
598
00:31:58,374 --> 00:32:01,377
I don't gotta think about my own life,
long as I'm doing this.
599
00:32:01,461 --> 00:32:03,296
Like, I'm addicted.
600
00:32:03,379 --> 00:32:05,048
[sighs] Sounds like blanco.
601
00:32:05,131 --> 00:32:06,967
More like that fake shit, Methadose.
602
00:32:07,050 --> 00:32:08,259
All the hook, none of the high.
603
00:32:08,343 --> 00:32:11,471
I guess that's why they call it
an opiate for the masochists.
604
00:32:11,554 --> 00:32:14,849
Yo, turn that shit up.
They're talking about us now.
605
00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:17,643
-Come on.
-These things never end well.
606
00:32:17,727 --> 00:32:20,939
When it comes to casualties,
it isn't a question of "if,"
607
00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:22,398
it's a question of "how many."
608
00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:24,484
Attica had 43.
609
00:32:24,567 --> 00:32:27,570
New Mexico,
33 plus another 100 injured.
610
00:32:27,653 --> 00:32:30,531
And then there was Huntsville, 1974.
611
00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:33,784
That was one of the longest
prison standoffs in history.
612
00:32:33,868 --> 00:32:37,956
As the inmates grew weary,
three hostages managed to get free.
613
00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:39,915
One had a heart attack
and was let out.
614
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,917
Another faked a heart attack.
615
00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:44,295
The third made a run for it
through the glass doors.
616
00:32:44,379 --> 00:32:47,048
That one culminated
in an escape attempt
617
00:32:47,132 --> 00:32:51,427
that the press dubbed
the "Trojan Taco."
618
00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:52,762
[reporter laughing on TV]
619
00:32:52,845 --> 00:32:53,972
Man, fuck my kidneys.
620
00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:56,182
We can't let those bitches make off
in no condom taco.
621
00:33:00,436 --> 00:33:01,521
Yo, you coming?
622
00:33:01,604 --> 00:33:04,149
Nah, I wanna hear more
about this Cannibal Cop.
623
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:08,194
Well, of course,
it was a suicide mission.
624
00:33:08,278 --> 00:33:11,947
All of the inmates ended up dead,
either by killing themselves,
625
00:33:12,032 --> 00:33:15,785
in the ensuing gunfire, or later,
through the death penalty.
626
00:33:15,868 --> 00:33:17,745
I suppose
that's the big takeaway from this,
627
00:33:17,828 --> 00:33:22,333
that the inmates guarding the hostages
almost never survive.
628
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:24,585
Tough stuff.
629
00:33:25,503 --> 00:33:29,090
Up next, is that a poochie in your Gucci?
630
00:33:29,174 --> 00:33:30,466
[laughs]
631
00:33:33,928 --> 00:33:36,181
[Piscatella] What did you think
would happen, Red?
632
00:33:36,264 --> 00:33:37,932
You'd get out of here someday?
633
00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:40,810
Pick up where you left off
with your little mafia friends?
634
00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:42,812
Be honest.
635
00:33:44,272 --> 00:33:46,899
Is there anything even out there for you?
636
00:33:49,444 --> 00:33:50,611
What are you doing?
637
00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:52,113
[screams]
638
00:33:52,197 --> 00:33:53,531
How did you get that off?
639
00:33:53,614 --> 00:33:55,283
I'm good with my tongue.
640
00:33:56,659 --> 00:33:59,370
-[screaming] Help!
-[Anita gasps]
641
00:33:59,454 --> 00:34:01,664
That really sounded like a cry for help.
642
00:34:01,747 --> 00:34:03,458
[Yoga Jones] Wonder where Red is.
643
00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:07,420
She could make a real feast
out of what you've got here.
644
00:34:08,379 --> 00:34:10,590
Oh, I'd love a hot meal.
645
00:34:11,882 --> 00:34:13,551
I sent her an invitation,
646
00:34:13,634 --> 00:34:16,679
but apparently
she had something better to do.
647
00:34:16,762 --> 00:34:17,763
[chuckles]
648
00:34:18,681 --> 00:34:21,934
She probably has half the prison
under her command. Here.
649
00:34:22,017 --> 00:34:23,894
How about some toasted Fruit Brute?
650
00:34:27,190 --> 00:34:28,566
[Piper] Help!
651
00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:33,863
I think we should investigate.
652
00:34:33,946 --> 00:34:35,906
I thought we were staying out of this.
653
00:34:36,782 --> 00:34:39,494
I definitely think we should investigate.
654
00:34:39,577 --> 00:34:40,578
Me three.
655
00:34:45,666 --> 00:34:47,252
[Frieda scoffs]
656
00:34:47,335 --> 00:34:48,753
Some people.
657
00:34:48,836 --> 00:34:51,714
They can't appreciate a good thing
until it's gone.
658
00:34:56,051 --> 00:34:57,637
You're right.
659
00:34:57,720 --> 00:35:00,181
They'll never survive up there without us.
Come on.
660
00:35:02,683 --> 00:35:05,436
[Piper] Help! Help! Help!
661
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:08,106
-[exclaiming]
-I can't think.
662
00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:09,649
-[Piper] Help!
-You shut... shut your mouth.
663
00:35:09,732 --> 00:35:10,816
High-pitched sound.
664
00:35:10,900 --> 00:35:13,444
-[Anita panting]
-[Piscatella] Fucking irritating.
665
00:35:13,528 --> 00:35:14,737
[Piper yelling] Help!
666
00:35:14,820 --> 00:35:16,739
-Those stairs are a doozy.
-[Piscatella] I will teach you.
667
00:35:16,822 --> 00:35:18,366
-Okay. Shut up!
-Shh.
668
00:35:19,367 --> 00:35:22,120
-[shushes] It's going to be okay.
-[groans]
669
00:35:22,203 --> 00:35:24,914
-Nice Indian man?
-[panting]
670
00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:27,375
[groaning]
671
00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:28,918
You should be sleeping, probably.
672
00:35:30,002 --> 00:35:32,588
Sleeping is very healing.
673
00:35:32,672 --> 00:35:36,008
Yeah. And when you wake up,
you'll be feeling better
674
00:35:36,091 --> 00:35:39,011
and they'll bring you soup and pills.
675
00:35:39,094 --> 00:35:40,095
[sighs]
676
00:35:41,472 --> 00:35:43,683
Let's do the "Goodnight" book.
677
00:35:45,100 --> 00:35:46,101
Um...
678
00:35:47,019 --> 00:35:49,104
-Yeah, okay. Okay.
-[groaning]
679
00:35:50,481 --> 00:35:52,400
Good night, room.
680
00:35:52,483 --> 00:35:53,526
Good night, moon.
681
00:35:55,861 --> 00:35:57,112
Good night, spoon.
682
00:35:58,739 --> 00:36:01,867
Good night, mean and good night, nice.
683
00:36:03,244 --> 00:36:04,787
Good night, human pinky toe mice.
684
00:36:04,870 --> 00:36:06,414
-[chuckles]
-[groans]
685
00:36:06,497 --> 00:36:11,669
[gasps] Good day, hospital bed!
[laughs]
686
00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:15,130
Good morning, woozy-oozy head.
687
00:36:15,215 --> 00:36:16,966
-[inhales sharply] Ah.
-Oh.
688
00:36:19,219 --> 00:36:21,637
Good... What time is it?
689
00:36:24,349 --> 00:36:27,017
Good or bad white girls in the yard.
690
00:36:28,436 --> 00:36:31,522
-[groans]
-There's a dead or dying guard.
691
00:36:31,606 --> 00:36:33,608
-Wait. Wait.
-Good night.
692
00:36:35,150 --> 00:36:36,151
Dead guard?
693
00:36:36,819 --> 00:36:39,447
Yeah. Over in the next bed.
694
00:36:40,948 --> 00:36:43,826
I have excellent peripheral vision.
695
00:36:43,909 --> 00:36:46,120
Like, I'm looking at you right now,
but out of the corner of my eye,
696
00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:49,665
-I can see him being very not alive.
-[groaning]
697
00:37:04,555 --> 00:37:05,598
He's not breathing.
698
00:37:06,181 --> 00:37:07,225
[groans]
699
00:37:08,309 --> 00:37:09,977
[gasps] No.
700
00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:12,813
No more being dead!
701
00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:16,526
[softly] Oh, sh...
702
00:37:18,319 --> 00:37:21,155
[groaning] I need to find an undoer.
703
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:24,199
Oh, God. I need to find an eraser.
Oh! Oh!
704
00:37:24,284 --> 00:37:25,868
[panting]
705
00:37:30,039 --> 00:37:32,833
-I saw this in a movie one time.
-[Maureen] Suzanne.
706
00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:35,711
[crying] Come on. Come on.
707
00:37:37,672 --> 00:37:39,590
I'm gonna take him to see the Wizard.
708
00:37:39,674 --> 00:37:41,301
Or a witch.
709
00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:42,927
Or a doctor.
710
00:37:43,010 --> 00:37:45,513
Or a witch doctor.
711
00:37:45,596 --> 00:37:48,599
-Oh, where are all the grown-ups?
-Suzanne, wait.
712
00:37:49,517 --> 00:37:51,185
[grunting]
713
00:37:52,353 --> 00:37:54,021
[straining]
714
00:37:54,104 --> 00:37:55,105
Wait.
715
00:37:56,357 --> 00:37:57,525
[inmate snoring]
716
00:38:35,062 --> 00:38:37,648
Hey, don't touch it! Anthrax!
717
00:38:38,691 --> 00:38:39,775
This is a women's prison.
718
00:38:39,859 --> 00:38:41,902
It's more likely to have
a kid's Christmas list on it
719
00:38:41,986 --> 00:38:43,738
than a biological weapon.
720
00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:44,822
Dummy.
721
00:38:46,281 --> 00:38:49,535
"Hot Cheetos. Beyoncé.
Yearly gyno visits."
722
00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:50,995
That's one advanced kid.
723
00:38:51,078 --> 00:38:52,287
[softly] Turn it over.
724
00:38:54,457 --> 00:38:56,834
"Don't try anything, or we all die."
725
00:38:57,793 --> 00:38:58,878
Let's fuckin' get her.
726
00:38:58,961 --> 00:39:00,338
Make it count this time.
727
00:39:00,421 --> 00:39:02,840
I swear to God, if one more
of these bitches tries to fuck me, I'm--
728
00:39:02,923 --> 00:39:05,593
-Nobody wants to fuck you, asshole.
-All right, back off, boys.
729
00:39:05,676 --> 00:39:07,428
Yeah, simmer down, Anthrax.
730
00:39:08,721 --> 00:39:12,392
I'm gonna help you, okay? Follow me.
Come on, hurry up.
731
00:39:15,561 --> 00:39:17,062
Yo, what the fuck is this?
732
00:39:17,146 --> 00:39:19,023
[scoffs] They needed a piss break.
733
00:39:19,106 --> 00:39:20,983
And I couldn't say no. One of them
already peed on themself.
734
00:39:21,066 --> 00:39:23,486
Fuck no!
Back in the bubble, bitches.
735
00:39:23,569 --> 00:39:25,363
-I gotta pee. I gotta pee.
-I don't care.
736
00:39:28,866 --> 00:39:30,951
[sighs] You too lax, Mama.
737
00:39:31,035 --> 00:39:32,370
Your kids must run all over you.
738
00:39:32,453 --> 00:39:33,579
[sighs]
739
00:39:34,497 --> 00:39:36,624
I thought you guys were gonna sleep, huh?
740
00:39:36,707 --> 00:39:40,586
Nah, man. The TV told us
that now is when we gotta step it up,
741
00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:44,590
so now we gonna watch 'em extra close
from here on out, till this thing is done.
742
00:39:44,674 --> 00:39:48,093
So they don't sneak out
in no lambskin enchilada or nothin'.
743
00:39:48,177 --> 00:39:49,679
You can stay with us if you want.
744
00:39:49,762 --> 00:39:51,305
But you really gotta toughen up.
745
00:39:53,599 --> 00:39:54,600
Yeah.
746
00:39:56,811 --> 00:40:00,940
Funny thing is, is I used to love
small spaces when I was a little girl.
747
00:40:01,023 --> 00:40:03,568
You know, I was the kind of kid that...
748
00:40:03,651 --> 00:40:06,153
I liked the box
that fell off of the truck,
749
00:40:06,236 --> 00:40:09,198
and not, like, the car parts inside
or the dolls and the toys.
750
00:40:09,281 --> 00:40:10,282
Like, I wanted the box.
751
00:40:10,365 --> 00:40:14,495
My eighth birthday, I think,
I spent in the trunk of my uncle's Subaru.
752
00:40:14,579 --> 00:40:18,123
I was playing cave girl,
and I was so happy in there.
753
00:40:18,207 --> 00:40:19,792
I mean, I could have stayed
in there forever
754
00:40:19,875 --> 00:40:22,503
if he hadn't tried to cross state lines
with a warrant out on him.
755
00:40:22,587 --> 00:40:23,879
[chuckles softly]
756
00:40:23,963 --> 00:40:25,172
Yeah, I used to, um...
757
00:40:26,298 --> 00:40:29,552
hide on the top shelf of the linen closet
when I was a kid.
758
00:40:29,635 --> 00:40:31,095
Used to make me feel safe. [chuckles]
759
00:40:31,178 --> 00:40:33,055
[chuckles] Do you ever wonder...
760
00:40:34,557 --> 00:40:38,644
how things that used to feel so good
now feel so bad?
761
00:40:40,145 --> 00:40:41,188
I do.
762
00:40:42,398 --> 00:40:45,526
I mean, it's like, this is prison, yes.
763
00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:50,239
Shitty diarrhea food,
nothin' to do but sit...
764
00:40:50,322 --> 00:40:52,074
sit around and fucking wait, but...
765
00:40:53,534 --> 00:40:55,911
like, I used to be able to get through it.
766
00:40:56,954 --> 00:41:00,415
But now I can't really even
get myself up and out of bed.
767
00:41:01,501 --> 00:41:05,254
It's, like, there's, like, less air
in here to breathe or something.
768
00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:08,132
And... and it used to, before,
769
00:41:08,215 --> 00:41:11,426
you could... you could find somebody
to talk to if you wanted, you know?
770
00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:13,471
Or... or cookie's up their sleeve, and...
771
00:41:14,514 --> 00:41:17,224
Now it's, "Fuck you, inmate.
772
00:41:17,307 --> 00:41:20,144
I'mma fuckin' ruin your life
just because I can."
773
00:41:20,686 --> 00:41:23,689
It's like human niceness
has just gone renegade,
774
00:41:23,772 --> 00:41:26,192
and I don't think
it's coming back anytime soon.
775
00:41:28,443 --> 00:41:30,905
-I'm sorry.
-Yeah, me too.
776
00:41:31,572 --> 00:41:37,036
'Cause the sad truth of it is, is that
everybody in here is gonna be way worse
777
00:41:37,119 --> 00:41:39,246
than how they were when they started.
778
00:41:40,372 --> 00:41:41,373
Yes.
779
00:41:43,167 --> 00:41:44,168
Yeah.
780
00:41:45,628 --> 00:41:47,505
You are absolutely right.
781
00:41:50,299 --> 00:41:51,466
[fly buzzes]
782
00:41:53,803 --> 00:41:54,804
Hey...
783
00:41:55,888 --> 00:41:58,473
maybe... maybe we can help each other
get out of here, you know?
784
00:41:58,558 --> 00:41:59,559
The fence?
785
00:42:00,142 --> 00:42:02,311
I wonder if the backhoe works.
786
00:42:02,394 --> 00:42:05,355
Hey, come on.
We have to try, right?
787
00:42:05,439 --> 00:42:06,774
We can do this, like a... like a team,
788
00:42:06,857 --> 00:42:09,527
and we could even have
a special handshake or something, right?
789
00:42:13,573 --> 00:42:14,574
Oh.
790
00:42:16,951 --> 00:42:18,578
[groaning]
791
00:42:19,912 --> 00:42:21,455
You were the backhoe, bitch.
792
00:42:21,539 --> 00:42:22,540
[gasps]
793
00:42:23,123 --> 00:42:25,000
Stealing my friend behind my back, ho?
794
00:42:25,084 --> 00:42:26,877
You know, Boo was my best friend, right?
795
00:42:26,961 --> 00:42:28,170
-[spits]
-Ah!
796
00:42:28,254 --> 00:42:31,048
You know, women gotta start
being nicer to one another.
797
00:42:32,049 --> 00:42:33,050
[scoffs]
798
00:42:34,426 --> 00:42:37,805
Ow. Ow. [crying]
799
00:42:37,888 --> 00:42:39,682
Ooh, what about her?
800
00:42:39,765 --> 00:42:41,892
Ugh! No, shallow nail beds.
801
00:42:41,976 --> 00:42:44,770
Hey, Red Light Special,
where you hiding?
802
00:42:44,854 --> 00:42:48,232
[Stratman] Ladies! Hey, I'm over here.
803
00:42:49,900 --> 00:42:51,694
Oh, thank you, ladies.
[grunts]
804
00:42:52,612 --> 00:42:54,238
-Hi.
-[gasping]
805
00:42:54,321 --> 00:42:56,240
Hey, yeah, great to see you.
806
00:42:56,323 --> 00:42:58,325
[chuckles] Uh, so listen,
we need your help,
807
00:42:58,408 --> 00:43:03,163
because Leanne's finger was very rudely
shot off by your colleague with the gun.
808
00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:05,540
[groans] That's the... Humps?
809
00:43:05,625 --> 00:43:08,293
-Donuts.
-Ah! Angie! God!
810
00:43:08,377 --> 00:43:09,837
Oh, shit.
Sorry. I forgot.
811
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,214
Uh, this is Doctor McCurry.
812
00:43:12,297 --> 00:43:14,675
He's going to cut off your finger
and put it on Leanne.
813
00:43:14,759 --> 00:43:17,302
-What?
-I'm ready for the transplant, Doctor.
814
00:43:17,386 --> 00:43:18,638
No, I'm... I'm not okay with this.
815
00:43:18,721 --> 00:43:20,180
Neither am I.
816
00:43:20,264 --> 00:43:22,391
Why do you even want his finger anyway?
817
00:43:22,474 --> 00:43:24,935
So she can finger herself
with his finger forever.
818
00:43:25,519 --> 00:43:27,187
-[shushes] Shut up.
-Obviously.
819
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:30,691
Wait. Wait. Wait.
Uh, you... [sniffs]
820
00:43:30,775 --> 00:43:34,654
you gotta know if it works, right?
821
00:43:35,570 --> 00:43:40,492
So why don't you take it for a test-drive
before you commit?
822
00:43:40,575 --> 00:43:42,494
-Huh?
-[laughing]
823
00:43:42,577 --> 00:43:44,914
[both laughing]
824
00:43:44,997 --> 00:43:47,667
Okay, Apu. Into the poo. [laughs]
825
00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:50,795
Don't go anywhere, okay?
826
00:43:54,882 --> 00:43:57,301
Um... here's A.
827
00:43:58,385 --> 00:44:00,012
[moans]
828
00:44:00,095 --> 00:44:02,431
I don't know.
It feels sort of numb.
829
00:44:03,933 --> 00:44:05,059
B?
830
00:44:06,185 --> 00:44:08,562
[sighs] Angie,
I'm not sure if it's working.
831
00:44:08,646 --> 00:44:10,147
What do you mean, you're not sure?
832
00:44:11,065 --> 00:44:12,149
Haven't you ever...
833
00:44:15,319 --> 00:44:18,488
Oh, my God! You've never--
834
00:44:18,572 --> 00:44:21,241
Maybe I have.
I don't know.
835
00:44:22,159 --> 00:44:24,203
One time I peed a little,
so I thought maybe--
836
00:44:24,286 --> 00:44:25,663
If you had, you'd know.
837
00:44:27,122 --> 00:44:29,416
-[moaning] Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
-[Stratman grunts]
838
00:44:29,499 --> 00:44:32,419
Oh! Go back! Go back!
What was that? What was that?
839
00:44:32,502 --> 00:44:33,754
It was W.
840
00:44:33,838 --> 00:44:36,131
-Do it again.
-All right.
841
00:44:36,215 --> 00:44:37,341
Do it again. Yes.
842
00:44:37,424 --> 00:44:40,344
-Yeah. [grunting]
-W! W! W!
843
00:44:41,178 --> 00:44:43,638
[screaming]
844
00:44:43,723 --> 00:44:45,557
-[cheering]
-[continues screaming]
845
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,185
-Help!
-Hey, you really get off on this,
846
00:44:48,268 --> 00:44:49,687
don't you, you sick fuck?
847
00:44:49,770 --> 00:44:51,814
[Big Boo mumbling]
848
00:44:51,897 --> 00:44:55,567
Red, you're beautiful.
Hair grows back.
849
00:44:55,650 --> 00:44:57,694
[in Spanish]
Someone tell his face.
850
00:44:57,778 --> 00:44:59,488
[Big Boo grunting]
851
00:45:01,656 --> 00:45:04,701
Ah! [panting]
852
00:45:04,785 --> 00:45:07,079
Thank you, asshole.
853
00:45:07,162 --> 00:45:09,874
I guess not all lesbians
are good with their tongue, huh?
854
00:45:12,167 --> 00:45:14,419
[Piscatella] You're a real martyr,
aren't you, Reznikov?
855
00:45:24,471 --> 00:45:25,806
[grunts]
856
00:45:25,890 --> 00:45:27,016
No.
857
00:45:27,099 --> 00:45:28,308
[crying]
858
00:45:28,392 --> 00:45:31,311
Oh, don't be dramatic.
I'm not gonna kill you.
859
00:45:32,146 --> 00:45:35,524
I simply want your family
to see you for who you really are.
860
00:45:35,607 --> 00:45:38,152
To see the full Galina.
861
00:45:38,235 --> 00:45:39,528
[Red whimpers]
862
00:45:40,362 --> 00:45:44,033
-[groaning]
-A woman's face can hide weakness.
863
00:45:45,033 --> 00:45:46,869
-[groans]
-But their bodies can't.
864
00:45:48,328 --> 00:45:49,329
Yeah.
865
00:45:50,247 --> 00:45:51,331
[Red] Girls, look away.
866
00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:52,624
[crying]
867
00:45:53,375 --> 00:45:56,253
Yeah, big fucking man,
beating up on an old lady.
868
00:45:56,336 --> 00:45:57,504
[grunting]
869
00:45:57,587 --> 00:45:59,048
[gasps]
870
00:45:59,131 --> 00:46:00,549
[Alex grunting]
871
00:46:01,591 --> 00:46:03,803
[grunts] You dirty cunt!
872
00:46:03,886 --> 00:46:05,304
No! Stop it!
873
00:46:05,387 --> 00:46:07,222
Oh, I've had enough
of this insubordination!
874
00:46:07,306 --> 00:46:10,309
You are federal inmates,
not the queen of the fucking Nile.
875
00:46:10,392 --> 00:46:12,061
[muffled scream]
876
00:46:12,144 --> 00:46:14,063
Now tell me what you are,
so I know you understand.
877
00:46:14,146 --> 00:46:16,023
-You tell me!
-[Piper crying]
878
00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:17,817
[crying] Please.
879
00:46:19,026 --> 00:46:20,194
Last chance.
880
00:46:22,779 --> 00:46:24,114
-[bone snapping]
-[Alex crying]
881
00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:25,449
[Piper exclaims]
882
00:46:25,532 --> 00:46:28,911
I hope that someone treats you
the way that you are treating us,
883
00:46:28,994 --> 00:46:32,331
when you get locked up for assault,
you piece of shit!
884
00:46:32,414 --> 00:46:34,583
Right. Nice fantasy, January Jones.
885
00:46:34,666 --> 00:46:35,960
In a day or two...
886
00:46:36,043 --> 00:46:37,377
-[Alex groaning]
-...or whenever this is over,
887
00:46:37,461 --> 00:46:41,090
it's gonna be my word against
a bunch of criminals rotting away in Max.
888
00:46:42,007 --> 00:46:44,051
Who do you think they're gonna believe?
889
00:46:44,134 --> 00:46:45,886
[indistinct chatter]
890
00:46:59,274 --> 00:47:01,068
[inmate grunting]
891
00:47:01,151 --> 00:47:03,028
[Rosado] I'll shove my dick back in that
boca sucia qué tienes
892
00:47:03,112 --> 00:47:05,322
if you make a fucking sound...
[mutters indistinctly in Spanish]
893
00:47:12,579 --> 00:47:14,206
-[Piscatella] Hey!
-Shut the fuck--
894
00:47:14,874 --> 00:47:16,250
We was just wrestling.
895
00:47:17,626 --> 00:47:18,752
You want a turn?
896
00:47:19,753 --> 00:47:21,838
I mean, we loosened him up real good.
897
00:47:21,922 --> 00:47:23,883
Everybody knows that puto
loves to fuck for cash
898
00:47:23,966 --> 00:47:25,634
or whatever you got laying around.
899
00:47:25,717 --> 00:47:27,219
[grunts]
900
00:47:27,302 --> 00:47:29,263
-I will destroy you.
-[groans]
901
00:47:31,181 --> 00:47:33,350
-[grunting]
-[groans]
902
00:47:35,185 --> 00:47:38,230
Either one of you comes towards me,
I will skin you alive.
903
00:47:46,780 --> 00:47:49,533
[panting] Ten-two in D block six,
barbershop.
904
00:47:49,616 --> 00:47:51,660
Ten-eighteen, ten-twenty,
and we need a medic.
905
00:47:51,743 --> 00:47:54,038
I repeat, we need a medic in D block six.
906
00:47:54,121 --> 00:47:55,664
[Samuelson on radio]
CO Samuelson, roger that.
907
00:47:55,747 --> 00:47:58,918
-[Berk on radio] CO Berk, roger 10-18.
-[groaning]
908
00:47:59,001 --> 00:48:00,460
-Is he breathing?
-Yes.
909
00:48:04,339 --> 00:48:05,465
What are you doing?
910
00:48:05,549 --> 00:48:08,385
Tossing the room.
Standard after a 10-2.
911
00:48:08,468 --> 00:48:10,262
You hiding H in here, pretty boy?
912
00:48:11,471 --> 00:48:14,391
You're gonna live to regret it
if you're lying to me right now.
913
00:48:14,474 --> 00:48:16,518
You hear that? You're gonna live!
914
00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:21,190
I think we can all agree
915
00:48:21,273 --> 00:48:24,609
that y'all are the ones
who made a mess of this place.
916
00:48:24,693 --> 00:48:27,904
But can we please get back
to talking about how to fix it?
917
00:48:27,988 --> 00:48:32,117
I don't wanna hear no more
about how he done shit premature
918
00:48:32,201 --> 00:48:34,244
or how she like to take
a bite out of crime.
919
00:48:34,328 --> 00:48:38,457
And no more bullshit about bending over
and taking it up the ass
920
00:48:38,540 --> 00:48:43,670
or any other sick business that MCC might
have made y'all do for some reason.
921
00:48:43,753 --> 00:48:45,214
You're absolutely right, Jefferson.
922
00:48:45,297 --> 00:48:48,550
-If I could just--
-You could just listen...
923
00:48:48,633 --> 00:48:51,220
is what you could just.
924
00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:55,849
[sighs] It's time to talk about Bayley.
925
00:48:55,932 --> 00:48:59,186
I think it's time we talk
about the guard that Diaz shot.
926
00:48:59,269 --> 00:49:01,688
She shot the guy with his own gun
927
00:49:01,771 --> 00:49:04,274
that he brought in here
and started waving around.
928
00:49:04,358 --> 00:49:08,820
I'm sorry, but guns don't shoot people.
People shoot people.
929
00:49:08,903 --> 00:49:11,656
And in this case, it's one of your people
who did the shooting.
930
00:49:11,740 --> 00:49:15,244
Are you negotiating
for the governor, or for the NRA?
931
00:49:15,327 --> 00:49:17,329
Because we settled all of that.
932
00:49:17,412 --> 00:49:18,998
And Diaz is gone.
933
00:49:19,081 --> 00:49:21,083
Well, how do I even know
if this guard is still alive?
934
00:49:21,166 --> 00:49:23,502
You got my word for it is how.
935
00:49:25,087 --> 00:49:29,383
And we know the inmate Bayley killed
is for sure dead.
936
00:49:31,093 --> 00:49:34,388
Well, I would like to see this Humphrey
before we press on any further.
937
00:49:34,471 --> 00:49:36,139
Not that I don't trust your word.
938
00:49:37,974 --> 00:49:38,975
Do you trust mine?
939
00:49:39,059 --> 00:49:40,727
[sighs]
940
00:49:41,311 --> 00:49:42,562
I've seen him, Natalie.
941
00:49:42,646 --> 00:49:43,938
And?
942
00:49:44,981 --> 00:49:48,068
Yeah, he was in some discomfort,
but he's stable.
943
00:49:48,610 --> 00:49:49,611
[mouths] Thank you.
944
00:49:52,281 --> 00:49:53,490
Okay, then.
945
00:49:54,366 --> 00:49:57,869
-[sighs]
-Now, should we look at demand number ten,
946
00:49:57,952 --> 00:50:00,247
the inmates' desire
for more nutritious food?
947
00:50:00,330 --> 00:50:04,043
-I am afraid the costs associated with--
-Hey, don't go sinking your big teeth
948
00:50:04,126 --> 00:50:05,960
back into the budget bullshit,
Ms. Figueroa.
949
00:50:06,045 --> 00:50:07,796
And stop yawning!
We got work to do.
950
00:50:07,879 --> 00:50:11,591
Now listen, I got reports
right here, okay?
951
00:50:11,675 --> 00:50:13,677
All science and shit.
952
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:17,514
They say, "Giving inmates a balanced diet
with fresh fruit and vegetables
953
00:50:17,597 --> 00:50:22,727
reduces the cost of health care
by 30% on an annual basis."
954
00:50:22,811 --> 00:50:26,731
Those savings should be more than enough
to cover the cost of a GED program.
955
00:50:27,649 --> 00:50:29,068
Mmm-hmm.
956
00:50:31,111 --> 00:50:34,573
Goodbye, mop that looks like Mommy.
Goodbye, slop that fills my tummy.
957
00:50:34,656 --> 00:50:38,535
Goodbye, Poussey...
Taystee? [panting]
958
00:50:38,618 --> 00:50:40,036
Red balloon. Over the moon.
959
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:43,832
Breath. Death.
Taystee!
960
00:50:43,915 --> 00:50:45,959
Grace?
[whimpering] Graystee?
961
00:50:46,042 --> 00:50:47,711
[Black Cindy and Janae shushing]
962
00:50:47,794 --> 00:50:50,004
Aw, no, no, no!
What the fuck is goin' on?
963
00:50:50,089 --> 00:50:53,300
-The issue is he is not breathing.
-What?
964
00:50:53,383 --> 00:50:56,678
And the body needs oxygen,
or else the cells curl up like old leaves.
965
00:50:56,761 --> 00:50:57,762
But don't jump in the leaves,
966
00:50:57,846 --> 00:51:00,890
because the pile might have
ticks and spiders in them.
967
00:51:00,974 --> 00:51:02,684
Okay. What happened to you, Suzanne?
968
00:51:02,767 --> 00:51:05,479
[crying] I need help!
969
00:51:05,562 --> 00:51:07,981
-[Black Cindy] Okay.
-Then we got to get his cells to iron out,
970
00:51:08,064 --> 00:51:11,568
because... But you cannot touch the iron,
because it's going to burn your fingers.
971
00:51:11,651 --> 00:51:13,862
You have to throw
your spit at it and listen!
972
00:51:13,945 --> 00:51:16,198
-[shushes]
-[breathing shakily]
973
00:51:16,281 --> 00:51:18,533
Just the sound of the sizzle.
974
00:51:21,245 --> 00:51:22,246
Huh?
975
00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:24,873
What are you seeing, eye-lookers?
976
00:51:24,956 --> 00:51:25,999
No...
977
00:51:26,082 --> 00:51:27,876
Look, Taystee needs to see this.
978
00:51:27,959 --> 00:51:29,253
-She needs to!
-[Black Cindy] No, no, no, no.
979
00:51:29,336 --> 00:51:33,298
-Taystee busy right now, all right?
-Yeah. I, uh... think he's okay.
980
00:51:33,382 --> 00:51:35,550
Look, he even smilin'.
Wait...
981
00:51:36,135 --> 00:51:38,637
I think I hear him breathin' again.
He just needed some air, right?
982
00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:40,054
-[Janae] Yeah.
-[crying] No, no, no, no.
983
00:51:40,139 --> 00:51:43,057
-[shushes] Nice job, Suzanne.
-Yeah.
984
00:51:43,142 --> 00:51:45,977
Okay. Just... Here, let me... let me...
985
00:51:46,060 --> 00:51:50,399
Okay. Let's just U-turn this
and go to Medical, okay?
986
00:51:50,482 --> 00:51:52,108
Do a three-point turn, maybe, all right?
987
00:51:52,192 --> 00:51:54,903
Hey, look.
Here we go!
988
00:51:54,986 --> 00:51:57,656
[both in sing-song] We're going on a trip
to Medical.
989
00:51:57,739 --> 00:52:02,076
We're going to Medical.
We're going to Medical.
990
00:52:02,161 --> 00:52:04,829
-[groaning]
-You fucking sicko psycho.
991
00:52:04,913 --> 00:52:06,415
She needs medical attention.
992
00:52:06,498 --> 00:52:08,458
Piper, shut up.
993
00:52:08,542 --> 00:52:11,545
[muffled] Don't provoke an angry bear.
Or any fuckin' bear.
994
00:52:11,628 --> 00:52:12,837
[in Spanish]
Either way you get mauled.
995
00:52:12,921 --> 00:52:15,006
Haven't you done enough?
996
00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:16,966
Just about.
997
00:52:18,302 --> 00:52:19,594
What else do you want?
998
00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:22,847
You've put an old lady in her place.
999
00:52:22,931 --> 00:52:26,476
My own daughters can't look at me
without pity in their eyes.
1000
00:52:28,061 --> 00:52:29,145
You win.
1001
00:52:30,146 --> 00:52:31,231
Are you happy now?
1002
00:52:31,315 --> 00:52:33,983
Yes... I am.
1003
00:52:35,569 --> 00:52:37,946
It's like they taught me
at Jesus camp for little homos.
1004
00:52:38,863 --> 00:52:41,950
"The righteous will rejoice
when he sees vengeance.
1005
00:52:42,033 --> 00:52:44,953
He will bathe his feet
in the blood of the wicked."
1006
00:52:45,036 --> 00:52:47,747
Oh, I bet your feet are disgusting.
1007
00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:49,040
[groans softly]
1008
00:52:49,123 --> 00:52:53,837
You see, this is the thing
about female prisoners.
1009
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:57,466
Men understand violence.
They respect it. They're dogs.
1010
00:52:57,549 --> 00:53:01,220
If you beat them, they obey you.
Not women.
1011
00:53:01,803 --> 00:53:04,723
Women don't fear pain the way men do.
1012
00:53:04,806 --> 00:53:06,808
They have to be broken in other ways.
1013
00:53:06,891 --> 00:53:08,810
But make no mistake...
1014
00:53:09,728 --> 00:53:11,355
they have to be broken.
1015
00:53:12,022 --> 00:53:15,025
Many inmates have tried
to make a fool of me over the years.
1016
00:53:17,861 --> 00:53:20,364
None have succeeded.
And none ever will.
1017
00:53:22,031 --> 00:53:23,992
-Oh, shit!
-[Nicky gasps]
1018
00:53:25,118 --> 00:53:26,453
[Piper grunting]
1019
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:28,580
[indistinct chatter]
1020
00:53:30,206 --> 00:53:31,750
What, you gonna fuck me?
1021
00:53:31,833 --> 00:53:33,877
Or you want me to fuck you?
1022
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:36,380
Yeah, we all know that's how you like it,
you dinge queen.
1023
00:53:36,463 --> 00:53:40,259
You a fucking bucking bronco,
ain't you, you motherfucker?
1024
00:53:40,925 --> 00:53:42,761
Kiss my fucking ass, bitch!
1025
00:53:42,844 --> 00:53:44,220
Fuck you!
1026
00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:46,097
This is what you do
to get off, Tweety Bird?
1027
00:53:46,180 --> 00:53:48,600
[laughs] By watching me sweat?
1028
00:53:48,683 --> 00:53:51,436
Fucker! Fucker! Fucker!
1029
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:53,605
[grunts] Oh, God!
1030
00:53:53,688 --> 00:53:56,483
[screaming] No! No!
1031
00:53:56,566 --> 00:53:57,734
I think that's probably enough.
1032
00:53:57,817 --> 00:53:59,694
[screaming continues]
1033
00:54:00,820 --> 00:54:03,823
[softly] Come on, Desi.
We take 'em out when they start screaming.
1034
00:54:04,449 --> 00:54:06,785
I don't hear anything, do you?
1035
00:54:07,702 --> 00:54:09,621
[screaming intensifies]
1036
00:54:17,754 --> 00:54:18,880
He saw me.
1037
00:54:21,049 --> 00:54:23,134
I know you're down here, inmate.
1038
00:54:26,930 --> 00:54:29,223
Oh, please, make this hard for me.
1039
00:54:29,308 --> 00:54:32,185
It'll give me the pleasure
of wrecking you later.
1040
00:54:34,438 --> 00:54:35,439
[grunts]
1041
00:54:40,402 --> 00:54:42,862
Oh, you're gonna have to do
better than a pushpin.
1042
00:54:43,780 --> 00:54:45,532
[grunting]
1043
00:54:46,450 --> 00:54:47,492
Teamwork!
1044
00:54:47,576 --> 00:54:49,578
Ah, how do you like that, Fruit Brute?
1045
00:54:50,537 --> 00:54:54,916
[groggily] I will skin you alive.
1046
00:54:56,668 --> 00:54:57,669
Oleander?
1047
00:54:57,752 --> 00:55:02,048
Nah. Some old devil's breath
Bone sent me back in the '80s.
1048
00:55:03,216 --> 00:55:04,300
[grunts] Yeah.
1049
00:55:06,761 --> 00:55:08,930
We shared a love of botany, me and Bone.
1050
00:55:09,639 --> 00:55:10,974
And some other things.
1051
00:55:12,016 --> 00:55:13,810
But that's none of anyone's business.
1052
00:55:15,562 --> 00:55:17,564
[rock song playing]
77871
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