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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:33,385 --> 00:01:34,803 Turn it off! 2 00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:14,342 In the Kalahari Desert, the unsuspecting meerkat clan is unaware 3 00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:17,346 they are prey to the desert's most savage predators. 4 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:19,890 - Oh. - Meerkats are social by nature... 5 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,786 burrowing deep into large underground networks, 6 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:26,563 where they create colonies with up to 30 meerkats in a colony. 7 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,940 Jesus Christ. 8 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:32,194 Where's the remote? 9 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,947 Could somebody shut off those rats? 10 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:39,576 Oh, no, no, they're not rats. They're meerkats and they are so cute! 11 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,829 Look at them, standing up like little people. 12 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,122 Oh, I found the remote! Remote found. 13 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,749 Thank you. God... 14 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:51,797 - What time is it? - Uh... it is 6:47. 15 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:56,218 Jesus. And isn't the whole point of a riot that you get to hit snooze on prison? 16 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,845 Oh, my God. You guys, look at this. 17 00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,280 Scattered reports this morning 18 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:02,850 that Judy King has been taken hostage at Litchfield Penitentiary 19 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:05,435 in what appears to be a possible terror situation. 20 00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,558 - Holy shit! - No word yet on her condition... 21 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,845 You tellin' me that we could have gotten up to that roof? 22 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:13,401 Why aren't we hanging out up there? You know, I love a view. 23 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,822 Fucking morons. Jesus. Uh, who... who is that? 24 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,074 Is that Yoga? 25 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,827 Change it to Fox. Me and Vinnie, we watch Fox. 26 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,161 Absolutely not. 27 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,374 Live at the scene here at Litchfield Prison, 28 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,042 as details continue to trickle in 29 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:33,546 about the late-night terrorist attack on Judy King and her Christian faith. 30 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:37,384 Some reports indicate that there is a political and violent uprising 31 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,695 taking place within the prison. 32 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,429 But News 4 has found exclusive online footage 33 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:43,390 that tells quite a different story. 34 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:49,813 That's where the chicken à la king went. 35 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:55,610 Mr. Pearson, the governor's on line one. 36 00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,949 Hutch! How's it going, buddy? I haven't seen you since Tommy... 37 00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:05,537 Why are al-Qaeda terrorists torturing the red states' favorite chef 38 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:06,955 on the roof of your prison? 39 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:10,500 Uh, look, I know it doesn't look good, but, uh... 40 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:14,087 It looks like a fucking PR nightmare during my election year. 41 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:17,632 - Are you storming? - Uh, no. They... they have hostages. 42 00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:22,930 MCC can't have hostage bloodshed. We're... we're standing down. 43 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,348 Is that what CERT advised? 44 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,851 - CERT? - Correctional Emergency Response Team. 45 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:30,103 Do you not have a CERT team on the scene? 46 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,939 We're sort of between CERT teams right now. 47 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,651 For fuck's sake! I'm sending a team over and I'm billing MCC up the ass. 48 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:39,947 You listen to their assessment of casualty risk 49 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,865 and you let them de-escalate this mess. 50 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,342 I consider you a friend, Jack... 51 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,994 but I can't believe how badly you shit the bed on this. 52 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,913 Worse than when my beagle had butt cancer. 53 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,414 I'm so sorry to hear about Blanche. 54 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,834 - Is she okay? - The dog's fine. 55 00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:53,585 Get your inmates off my TV. 56 00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,713 You steppin' ass first? 57 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,025 If you wanna score the Latin and African American markets, 58 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:01,259 - it's all about that bass. - Oh. 59 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:04,679 White, I just turn to the side, tits, ass. 60 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:07,933 And the schoolgirl outfits hits Asians. 61 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,227 - Shit. You really know your demos. - Yeah. 62 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,788 Oh, my God, here they come! 63 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:12,914 Are you ready? 64 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,564 We're gonna be super famous! 65 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:17,317 Don't forget to smize. 66 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,528 Nuh-uh. You smize. I'm squinching and teeging. 67 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,615 - Over here! - Yo, let me get in there. 68 00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:26,409 - Wow! - Wow! Look at you and those lips. 69 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,286 Pidge said I needed some drama on my face. 70 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,957 It was this or mascara, and I don't like shit around my eyes 'cause I got allergies 71 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,542 and I rub and then I look like one of them girls who cry. 72 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,794 - Oh, it's good. Yeah, cute. - Yeah, mmm-hmm. 73 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:38,421 Uh, I'm totally liking it. 74 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:42,551 You should try doing the prune lips like an Olsen twin, like this. 75 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:43,676 Mmm. 76 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,096 All right, can we just get the two on the right? 77 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:49,557 - Other one looks like a boy. Get him out! - Get out of the way! Yeah, you! 78 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,870 What? My drama face ain't good enough for your little pictures? 79 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:55,688 Well, if you don't like my face, maybe you'll like this! 80 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:58,901 Oh, my God! Shit. 81 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:02,654 Never work with animals, children or naked buttholes. 82 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,000 Why are you walking like you're 90? 83 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,789 Because we slept in a digger bucket, and I can't feel my neck. 84 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:17,085 I once dated a girl named Digger. Her parents ran a cemetery. 85 00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,836 She stole me a ring off a corpse. 86 00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:22,632 How romantic. Illegal and creepy, but very romantic. 87 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,634 She left me for a professional water-skier. 88 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,470 She said she was the only woman who ever looked hot in a life vest. 89 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,596 How do you fight that? 90 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,308 I think we need more padding. Like a base layer. 91 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,769 You know, like a... like a tarp or something. 92 00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:36,580 Whoa. I didn't even ask you to move in, Pipes. 93 00:06:36,604 --> 00:06:38,898 That's, uh... that's pretty presumptuous. 94 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:42,777 Alex Vause, may I put my prison-issue mattress 95 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:48,575 next to your bulldozer scoopie thingy, and ride out a nightmare with you? 96 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:49,826 You may. 97 00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,749 Will I not like you when you get very angry? 98 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:57,834 I'm repurposing. 99 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,545 Huh. 100 00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:04,674 Do you want me to help you rip off the other one? 101 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,801 Is it driving you crazy? 102 00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:08,053 No. 103 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:11,598 Yes. You know that I need symmetry! 104 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,351 - It's hard to look at, huh? - Now you're just being a bully. 105 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:19,522 Okay, fine. This is a gift for you. 106 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,441 It's no corpse ring, but it'll have to do. 107 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:29,824 Daya! Hey, I've been looking for you. 108 00:07:29,907 --> 00:07:31,493 You found something to eat okay? 109 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,370 Why, you wanna jack me for my Pop-Tart? 110 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,164 Hey. I know you don't understand what I did or why I did it, but... 111 00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:37,665 You're right. I don't understand. 112 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:40,168 This whole fucking time you didn't say nothing. 113 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,920 And you fucking hit me in my head. I could have a football injury. 114 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,548 - I got a wicked headache. - You shot a guard. 115 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,800 You weren't acting like a responsible gun owner. 116 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:48,969 I don't care. 117 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,054 - I don't care if he dies. - And I do? 118 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,938 We all think about taking down these cabrones, 119 00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:56,309 but we don't act on it 'cause we got things to live for. 120 00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,520 You gotta get outta here and see your girl. 121 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,440 Look at me. Hey. 122 00:08:04,692 --> 00:08:07,362 You need to take a timeout, okay? 123 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,073 Why don't you help me clean up? We could do it together. 124 00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,450 Busy hands could help clear your head, huh? 125 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,912 My head hurts, all right? 126 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,373 I want nothing to do with you. 127 00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:21,094 Maybe your shadow can help you play cleanup. 128 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,087 - My what? - Good morning. 129 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,213 What's for breakfast? 130 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,301 You're looking at it. 131 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,220 Um, no. I'm not. 132 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:35,973 Breakfast is supposed to be served between 4:30 and 7:00. 133 00:08:36,058 --> 00:08:39,061 Today's offerings should include a hot grits, 134 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:42,730 a whole wheat bread or coffee cake, a margarine pat and skim milk. 135 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:46,359 - Sometimes there's a surprise, like... - Okay, yeah. Breakfast is canceled. 136 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,908 Breakfast is canceled... 137 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,120 Fine. 138 00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:09,549 Breakfast, okay? 139 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:12,885 Oh! Thank you! 140 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:14,554 This is the surprise, for sure. 141 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:18,308 Um, by any chance, will there be a spoon made available? 142 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,858 Yeah, I'll get one. Sit down. 143 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:45,127 Oh, what the hell. 144 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:53,260 Okay. Pick a color. You want gel? 145 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,220 Uh, no. Um... 146 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,806 - I want to apply for a job here. - Hmm? 147 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:02,059 - You got a sign outside... - It's meter parking, yeah. 148 00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,895 No. 149 00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:07,440 I want to work here. Do nails. 150 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,318 I do manicures. I did these. 151 00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,779 Oh. 152 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:17,909 Exactly. I'm a fuckin' artist with this shit. 153 00:10:17,992 --> 00:10:20,828 I did my toes, too. See that? 154 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:24,166 Cheetah. You know... 155 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,500 Yes. Good. 156 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:28,920 - Great. So how much you paying me? - Twenty dollars a day. 157 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,963 What? Uh-uh. 158 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:32,715 - That's way too low. - No, no, no. 159 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,343 You pay me to train. 160 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:36,928 - To train? - Mmm-hmm. 161 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,430 In what? 162 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:40,314 I'd buff circles around these sashimi bitches. 163 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,101 Two weeks train, or you go now. 164 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:49,106 You know what, you can shit up a rope with your $20 a day. 165 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,650 And it's your loss. 166 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,195 I would have had this place packed, with lines out the door. 167 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:55,112 Charging people to work? 168 00:10:55,197 --> 00:10:58,866 This is America, lady. Slavery ain't legal here! 169 00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:09,877 Mei... are you in here against your will? 170 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,551 Come on, slave! We're hangry! 171 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:20,137 How long does it take to fry, poach and scramble some damn eggs? 172 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:23,808 Ladies, I am moving as fast as I can. You know, all I have is powdered eggs. 173 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,727 Did we say you could talk? 174 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:27,729 Yeah, just make it rain, King. 175 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,231 What the fuck did y'all do? 176 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,983 Did y'all see the news? They think y'all terrorists! 177 00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,360 We know. We saw. 178 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:34,920 And they had no right to call us bin Ladens 179 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,714 without checking who we were under those Ewok hats. 180 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,823 - The whole thing's totally offensive. - Fuckin' media. 181 00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:42,535 What's offensive is that a photograph of two idiots wearing hijabs 182 00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,454 automatically gets labelled as terrorism. 183 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,456 Hey, do I smell eggs? 184 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,417 Ooh! Let me get one of them over easy, JK! 185 00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:52,003 No way, she's our slave. 186 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,506 And over easy's nasty. All that egg slime. 187 00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:56,258 Bitch, egg snot the best part. 188 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,343 - Splooge-y. - Y'all crazy. 189 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,345 Over easy's the only way to cook an egg. 190 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,054 Ain't that right, Jude? 191 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:04,641 Over medium is considered the gold standard. 192 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,018 In your face! 193 00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:10,647 Shocking. The white lady backs up the other whites about egg whites. 194 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,900 Look, we need to borrow D-list Martha Stewart for a while. 195 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:16,944 We need to show the media that she ain't locked up in a closet 196 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,656 with a bag over her head and jumper cables on her nips. 197 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,033 - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! - What the fuck? 198 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:24,661 She's our property and we're not in the lending business. 199 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:25,745 That's Jews. 200 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:29,541 Yeah, maybe you didn't hear her. We taking the bitch, so excuse us. 201 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:32,460 Oh, so this is communism now? We give you whatever for free? 202 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,755 Nah, our whole lives is you people taking from us for free. 203 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:39,759 If you want her, you gotta buy her, like an American. 204 00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,177 That's the deal. 205 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,977 What do you want for her? 206 00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:51,896 What you got? 207 00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:55,442 Aw, shit! You seeing this? 208 00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,652 Yes. And I disagree. 209 00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:01,656 I think Boo's giving tree actually does more takin' away than giving. 210 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,367 - How so? - The tree's a sign of goodness. 211 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,803 But when it gets filled with cement, 212 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:09,246 the tree symbolizes what's been taken from Scout, her innocence. 213 00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:12,208 Plus, she's got that dumb name. 214 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:15,378 Okay, permission slips, people! 215 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:18,340 I need them before we get on the bus tomorrow. 216 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,550 Uh, Janae, I'd like to speak with you. 217 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,844 Ooh. Watson getting called out. 218 00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,178 Yeah, right. For what? 219 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,101 - Here, I got my permission slip. - Ah, excellent. 220 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,020 I want to make sure you're coming tomorrow. You excited? 221 00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,689 - Yeah. I guess. - I'm excited for you. 222 00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:38,067 Doors are gonna open if you keep working hard, Janae. 223 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,878 I want you to see what's behind some of those doors. 224 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,739 Okay. Great. See you tomorrow. 225 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:48,828 Okay. So after flossing my teeth, 226 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,581 and doing that under-eye cream we talked about, 227 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:55,167 I go to here, Spanish Harlem. 228 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,086 I know it looks messy and everything, 229 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,589 but it's because we have that protest and everything. 230 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:05,177 My bunk is over there, and right here, we have Pidge and Ouija. 231 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,555 Or Peejee. Say hi, you guys! 232 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:10,850 - No one calls us that. - I didn't sign a release. 233 00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:16,355 Okay, so over here, we have Maria. 234 00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:20,777 I made this selfie stick out of a plunger and duct tape. 235 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,238 Look at the link below if you want directions. 236 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,869 And over here, we have my best friend, Maritza. 237 00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:31,871 - Say hi, chiquita. - No! Go away! 238 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,715 I already took my face off from this morning. 239 00:14:33,748 --> 00:14:36,208 - I gotta put a new one on. - No. This is a day in the life. 240 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,460 For the people. 241 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:40,296 Tell them what you're doing. Come on. 242 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,550 Okay, fine. 243 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,553 Hi, everybody! 244 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:50,056 Okay, so what I'm doing now is contour and highlight. 245 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,223 When I wasn't in prison, 246 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:55,520 I would do this with a MAC Pro Palette and a ♪19 fan brush. 247 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:59,982 But in here, I use three spices that you can find in any kitchen. 248 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,402 - Okay. - Cinnamon... 249 00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:04,028 cumin... 250 00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:05,738 and Sazón Goya. 251 00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:09,283 Yes, your face will smell like your abuela's pork. 252 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:15,123 But listen, you gotta make sacrifices if you wanna look DIY fly like me. 253 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:18,710 First... contour. 254 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,224 Where's the cheese? 255 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,355 Fuck. 256 00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,942 What cheese? 257 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:46,278 I had cheese, didn't I? 258 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:49,449 Whoa! 259 00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:52,159 Check it out. Your puke is purple. 260 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,871 Yeah, 'cause the cough syrup's red... 261 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,457 and something was blue. 262 00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:04,964 Hey! 263 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,569 Someone stole the fucking gun. 264 00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:14,306 No, they didn't. We hid it, remember? 265 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,477 - We did? - In the secret place! 266 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:22,857 Oh, yeah. The secret place where no one else would ever find it. 267 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,660 I'm from Hebei province in China, 268 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:38,039 56 years old, 108 pounds, and... 269 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,249 I'm annoying as fuck? Who is Mei Chang? 270 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,127 - Damn, Ouij! - Stop pitching me softies. Come on. 271 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,129 All right. 272 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,089 All right. 273 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:48,883 Okay. 274 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:56,599 I'm from Omaha, Nebraska, 46 years old, 130 pounds, 275 00:16:56,683 --> 00:17:01,688 ashy-blonde hair and I'm doing nine for media piracy. 276 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,648 - Who is White Cindy? - Seriously? 277 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:06,400 Yo! My ass was just on the news! 278 00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:07,878 Yo, we're all on the news, dumbass. 279 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:11,072 It's good 'cause people need to start taking us serious... 280 00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:15,284 No, my actual ass. See. 281 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,537 Yo. 282 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:19,789 Oh... 283 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,958 Really? Way to keep it classy, perra. 284 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,169 - That hoo-ha out, too? Shit. - I put it all out. 285 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,883 Um, can I help you with something? 286 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,928 Where's Caputo? He's not in the pen with the other little piggies. 287 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,346 Nah, we put him in the Poo. Why? 288 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,807 I'm going to rip his balls off. 289 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:41,102 Oh, shit. 290 00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:46,315 Oh, this fucking guy again. All morning, "I gotta go, I gotta go." 291 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,567 Need to go to the bathroom! 292 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,611 I think he gotta go big bathroom. 293 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:52,864 I think that you need to shut the fuck up. 294 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:55,825 We gave you a bucket. Use the bucket. 295 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,785 A bucket is not a toilet. 296 00:17:57,869 --> 00:18:00,705 Stratman, use the bucket. You're gonna get us all killed. 297 00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,874 You don't understand. I can't. 298 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:06,586 I mean, I can't when there's other people around me. 299 00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:09,255 Since I was a kid. I need total and utter privacy. 300 00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:13,509 Please! Please let me out! 301 00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,386 I don't know. 302 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,848 God. Hey, does anyone here know the brown note? 303 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:21,726 Is that that jazz club in Harlem? 304 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,728 What? 305 00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:25,354 No, it's the sound frequency 306 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,857 that makes your bowels vibrate and release automatically. 307 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,777 - I saw it on Brain Buzzer. - That's not a reputable source. 308 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:31,903 Hey, Stratman... 309 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,643 - Fuck. Nothing? - Keep going, keep going. 310 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:48,544 No, no, no. Oh, God. 311 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:54,801 Oh, stop, stop. Stop. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 312 00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:01,766 Yeah? Who's this? 313 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,600 Aleida? 314 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,144 Oh, my God, Gloria? 315 00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,939 - What the fuck number's this? - I found a cell phone. 316 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,667 You found a cell phone and you're calling me? 317 00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:12,276 Damn, woman. Ain't you got no real friends? 318 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:14,987 We were only prison gay. Minus the gay part. 319 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,199 Yeah, what can I say? I missed you. 320 00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:19,867 How's everything out there? 321 00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:25,247 I'm good. Gettin' mad job offers. 322 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,542 You know, different nail salons. 323 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:32,088 After they seen my cheetah toes, everybody been fightin' over me. 324 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,674 - You see? I told you you'd kill it. - Yeah. 325 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:37,093 You called it. 326 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,972 How about you? Same shit, same day? 327 00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:44,892 Yeah. Something like that. 328 00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:48,730 You all right, girl? You sound funny. 329 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,441 Listen, I gotta tell you something. 330 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:58,364 What? What is it? 331 00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,201 Nothing. 332 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:08,415 I feel like I'm, you know, losing my mind in here. 333 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:11,210 My grip on things. 334 00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:15,757 You gotta do you, girl. 335 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:20,302 You seen that sign on the subway? "See Something, Say Something"? 336 00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:24,556 Do the opposite of that shit. Say nothing, do nothing. 337 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,809 Keep your chin down, do your fucking time, 338 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,936 and don't take care of nobody but yourself. 339 00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,315 Oh, thanks. That's some good advice. 340 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,526 And Daya, of course. 341 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,738 Don't you be no self-centered bitch when it comes to her. 342 00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,489 She doin' all right? 343 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:42,825 Fine. She's a good kid. 344 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,619 Well, tell her I'm busting my ass out here, trying to get us set up, 345 00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:49,206 so she better not be pullin' shit. You tell her that from me. 346 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:52,001 - Yeah, I'll tell her. - All right. 347 00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:02,011 Mmm. Don't touch. 348 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,531 What, you don't like it when I... when I brush your cheek like that? 349 00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:05,765 No, I like it just fine. 350 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:08,768 You're just not supposed to be doing anything that I don't say. 351 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,477 - That's the rules. - I'm sorry. 352 00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:12,313 - You gonna let me lead or not? - Yes. 353 00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:13,940 - Okay. - I'm sorry. 354 00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,417 Keep telling me what you want me to do. I... 355 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:25,742 I wanna do to you what the vibrating phone did. 356 00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,204 Seeing you get turned on, it was... 357 00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:32,166 It was so hot. I wanna turn you on. 358 00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:35,044 - You do? Well, then do it. - Uh-huh. 359 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,067 You have got to fucking be kidding me, Doggett. 360 00:21:40,091 --> 00:21:41,926 - What? - Get the fuck outside. 361 00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:48,765 Quick, hide. You have to hide. 362 00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,977 - Where? - I'll show you where. 363 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,855 - You can hide in here. Get... get in. - What? 364 00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:55,082 Trust me, I've seen it done. 365 00:21:55,106 --> 00:21:56,749 - Seriously? - People fit. Just get in. 366 00:21:56,773 --> 00:21:58,818 Get the fuck in there. 367 00:21:58,901 --> 00:22:00,987 Don't close it all the way. Shhh! 368 00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:04,573 Hey. 369 00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:07,159 Let me give you a little preview of how this thing's gonna end. 370 00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:09,453 See, any minute now, your boyfriend will be captured, 371 00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:12,206 taken to the bubble, where he will be forced to shit in a bucket. 372 00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:14,852 And you'll be lucky if you're not tossed in there right behind him. 373 00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:17,920 Is that what you want? Really? To hold hands over a shit bucket? 374 00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:21,007 I don't know. 375 00:22:22,091 --> 00:22:23,550 What could you possibly not know? 376 00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:26,888 I don't know... because it's chemical, Boo. 377 00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:29,765 Okay? It's like when I used to cook meth, okay? 378 00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,767 I can't control the chemicals. 379 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:33,810 I had to respect the chemicals. 380 00:22:33,895 --> 00:22:37,398 No matter how much I wanted different, l had to respect the chemicals. 381 00:22:38,399 --> 00:22:41,652 Because lye doesn't feel anything until it touches ephedrine. 382 00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:43,070 You know what I mean? 383 00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:51,245 Have you ever... wanted somebody that you shouldn't? 384 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,041 Of course. 385 00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:56,375 It's called masturbating. 386 00:22:56,458 --> 00:23:00,171 Now, say goodbye and walk the fuck away, son. 387 00:23:01,923 --> 00:23:04,800 God. God damn it. 388 00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:09,846 Now the Estée Lauder makeup bag is our final offer 389 00:23:09,931 --> 00:23:14,476 and if you act now we'll throw in, uh, lightly used Invisalign braces. 390 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,979 Oh, wait. For what size mouth? 391 00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:18,855 Mmm. They might work for you, gappy. 392 00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:20,357 Hey, my gap is awesome. 393 00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:22,585 I just wanna fix my left pointy tooth 'cause it's a little twisty. 394 00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:26,613 No! We didn't get into the slave business for braces. 395 00:23:26,697 --> 00:23:28,907 We want land. Turf. 396 00:23:28,991 --> 00:23:31,910 The Latinas got a dorm. Blacks are all over the offices. 397 00:23:31,994 --> 00:23:34,538 - What do the white people have? Nothing. - Everything. 398 00:23:34,621 --> 00:23:37,333 Territory is off-limits. 399 00:23:38,709 --> 00:23:39,829 Then you ain't gettin' King. 400 00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:45,799 And... we're taking our stock public. 401 00:23:45,882 --> 00:23:47,803 Who wants to buy Judy King? 402 00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:49,761 - Selling to the highest bidder. - I do. 403 00:23:51,555 --> 00:23:54,808 Damn, JK! Lotta people hate you. 404 00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,229 Or want you, depending how you wanna look at it. 405 00:23:58,312 --> 00:24:01,815 All right, folks, we got a fine-lookin' piece of chattel up here. 406 00:24:01,898 --> 00:24:03,859 A fine-looking piece of chattel. 407 00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:05,611 Cooking skills. Strong backside. 408 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:09,823 Go on, girl, show 'em your teeth. Lotta gold in there, folks. Lotta gold. 409 00:24:09,906 --> 00:24:13,369 - How do you know how to auctioneer? - Ain't it genetic for her type? 410 00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:16,122 I've got an Estée Lauder makeup bag high bidder, Estée Lauder high. 411 00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:18,207 - Do I hear higher? - Uh, does she cuddle? 412 00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:19,875 Does she know how to dress wounds? 413 00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:21,853 - I've got a phone charger! - That is my charger! 414 00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:22,919 Stifle it, meat! 415 00:24:23,004 --> 00:24:25,884 I've got a phone charger money bidder, folks, phone charger money bidder. 416 00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:28,759 And... and five ramen noodle packets! 417 00:24:28,842 --> 00:24:30,945 Charger and five, do I hear ten? 418 00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:32,990 Would ya give ten? Would ya bid ten? Do ya give ten? 419 00:24:33,014 --> 00:24:34,265 Ten cans of tuna! 420 00:24:34,348 --> 00:24:37,559 Ten tuna can money. Ten tuna money. Do I hear 15? 421 00:24:37,643 --> 00:24:41,938 Uh, 15 AA batteries. That's AA, which is radio and vibrator size. 422 00:24:42,023 --> 00:24:43,583 - I got 20 bottles of beer. - Excellent! 423 00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:45,585 Twenty bottles of beer high bidder. Twenty bottles of beer... 424 00:24:45,609 --> 00:24:47,819 ♪ Twenty bottles of beer ♪ 425 00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:52,158 ♪ Take one down, pass it around... ♪ 426 00:24:52,241 --> 00:24:55,369 Okay! I got one boom box from Caputo's office. 427 00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:59,373 Plug in it and everything. And I'll add some white boy CDs. 428 00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:01,458 Man, what we need this white lady for? 429 00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,878 We wanna go to the press? We should do it ourselves. 430 00:25:04,961 --> 00:25:07,506 Look, you've seen the news. They think we're torturing hostages. 431 00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:10,384 How are we supposed to get our demands met, and justice for P, 432 00:25:10,467 --> 00:25:11,968 if they think we a bunch of animals? 433 00:25:12,053 --> 00:25:14,638 No, they're gonna think that we're animals no matter what. 434 00:25:14,721 --> 00:25:15,972 Don't you know that? 435 00:25:16,057 --> 00:25:19,560 Yo. I got an autographed copy of Rich Dad Poor Dad. 436 00:25:19,643 --> 00:25:21,404 A Debbie Gibson Electric Youth cassette tape. 437 00:25:21,437 --> 00:25:22,479 Potato chips! 438 00:25:22,563 --> 00:25:25,023 Lisa Frank rainbow unicorn stickers. 439 00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:29,486 I got an Anne Geddes babies calendar from 2007. 440 00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:31,447 - Huh? - Ooh! 441 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:33,324 And sold, to the big black one, 442 00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:35,659 for the Anne Geddes baby calendar and the other stuff! 443 00:25:35,742 --> 00:25:38,245 What? Why do we need a calendar full of fat babies 444 00:25:38,329 --> 00:25:40,706 posing with pumpkins and fruit and shit? 445 00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:42,291 Unicorn stickers. 446 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,460 It's art. Art is always a sound investment. 447 00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:48,422 Come on, JK. You ours now. 448 00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:49,798 Oh, thank you, Cindy. 449 00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:53,177 Oh, I guess it just shows you should stay friends with your exes, right? 450 00:25:53,260 --> 00:25:55,072 Do you mind taking this collar off me right now? 451 00:25:55,096 --> 00:25:59,350 Bitch, please! The past is the past, and I ain't Oskar Schindler. 452 00:25:59,433 --> 00:26:00,434 Now get down! 453 00:26:01,435 --> 00:26:03,187 Heel! 454 00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:12,779 - Shit, we at the White House? - Sure ain't no Black House. 455 00:26:14,656 --> 00:26:16,450 Uh, Janae! Over here. 456 00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:23,039 This is Courtney, your buddy for the day. Courtney, Janae. 457 00:26:23,124 --> 00:26:25,083 We are so glad to have you here. 458 00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:27,043 Come on! I'll give you the tour. 459 00:26:31,715 --> 00:26:33,717 Is this your first time in Riverdale? 460 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,428 I mean, it's not like I've ever been to the South Bronx. 461 00:26:36,512 --> 00:26:39,348 Although, my dad did once take me to Arthur Avenue 462 00:26:39,431 --> 00:26:42,017 to buy some crazy Italian espresso machine. 463 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:44,395 He's got this, like, whole coffee thing going on. 464 00:26:44,478 --> 00:26:49,191 This is the south lawn, by the way. Out here we do botany and painting. 465 00:26:49,275 --> 00:26:51,443 And the garden, obviously. 466 00:26:51,527 --> 00:26:54,029 We harvested a whole bunch of stuff on Community Day 467 00:26:54,112 --> 00:26:56,240 and made this giant salad for the PTO. 468 00:26:57,324 --> 00:26:59,075 This is Rocawear, right? 469 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,663 I love it. I have the same exact one at home. Come on. 470 00:27:02,746 --> 00:27:05,874 Running hurts my boobs, but it burns so many calories. 471 00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:07,876 Maybe I just need a better bra. 472 00:27:07,959 --> 00:27:12,173 We're doing Faulkner. As I Lay Dying. Isn't it so aptly named? 473 00:27:12,881 --> 00:27:18,428 Oh, so, this is the reading room. We do SAT prep in here and other stuff. 474 00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:24,351 ...in the courts. 475 00:27:24,435 --> 00:27:27,813 There's the question of how many correctional officers, staff members... 476 00:27:27,896 --> 00:27:31,066 Sorry. The fucking 6 train wasn't running between fuck and east fuck, 477 00:27:31,149 --> 00:27:33,151 so I had to walk up 163rd Street, 478 00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:35,362 where I saw not one, not two, but three dicks. 479 00:27:35,446 --> 00:27:37,906 One peeing, one masturbating and one homeless. 480 00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:39,366 Aleida, you seen this? 481 00:27:40,617 --> 00:27:41,743 It's all over the news. 482 00:27:41,827 --> 00:27:44,306 You have to keep in mind, a lot of these women are mentally ill, 483 00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:47,416 sent to prisons because so many of the state facilities have been shut down. 484 00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:49,519 - They talkin' 'bout Litchfield? - More details are emerging 485 00:27:49,543 --> 00:27:51,837 on the breaking news story at Litchfield Penitentiary, 486 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:54,465 where a violent uprising broke out late last night. 487 00:27:54,548 --> 00:27:59,928 Nah. I just spoke to my girl in there. She didn't say shit about this. 488 00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:02,431 Maybe the riot hadn't started yet? 489 00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:05,141 Ain't you listening? It started yesterday. 490 00:28:05,226 --> 00:28:08,854 She was lying through her fucking teeth. 491 00:28:12,148 --> 00:28:13,234 Fuck! 492 00:28:14,568 --> 00:28:15,777 Where is she? 493 00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:20,198 ...often affiliated with gangs and prone to violence. 494 00:28:20,282 --> 00:28:24,202 They have no intention of rejoining polite society. 495 00:28:24,286 --> 00:28:28,249 I feel like I'm seeing you naked... but it's your face. 496 00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:31,126 If and when we storm and there's hand-to-hand combat, 497 00:28:31,209 --> 00:28:36,089 I didn't want any of them to have anything to grab on to. 498 00:28:36,172 --> 00:28:38,133 Still, extreme. 499 00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:39,737 It was a safety issue. 500 00:28:42,012 --> 00:28:43,013 Finally. 501 00:28:43,096 --> 00:28:45,516 We can send these jokers back to Max and get the job done. 502 00:28:51,938 --> 00:28:53,482 - You Piscatella? - I am, sir, yes. 503 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:54,792 - How can I... - Well, you can start 504 00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:56,860 by finding the owner of this purple PT Cruiser 505 00:28:56,943 --> 00:28:59,171 and telling her to move her car. We need this whole area clear. 506 00:28:59,195 --> 00:29:02,491 Cavalo, Reed, let's get the schematics and assign positions. 507 00:29:02,574 --> 00:29:03,926 And when we get the cars out of here, 508 00:29:03,950 --> 00:29:06,287 we got a shit-ton of press and civilians to contain. 509 00:29:06,370 --> 00:29:07,889 - I have schematics for you, sir. - Yes, sir! 510 00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:10,541 And what I was thinking is, we'd... we... 511 00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:15,045 Need help, Desi? Finding the owner of the vag car? 512 00:29:20,301 --> 00:29:21,510 Voilà. 513 00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:23,011 Your reading nook. 514 00:29:25,264 --> 00:29:26,473 Oh. 515 00:29:27,223 --> 00:29:29,351 - Huh. - What's "Oh, huh" about it? 516 00:29:29,435 --> 00:29:30,995 Well, I thought we talked about the reading nook 517 00:29:31,019 --> 00:29:34,189 being a bit more about reading and less about... clutter. 518 00:29:34,273 --> 00:29:36,066 I like having things around, Piper. 519 00:29:36,149 --> 00:29:38,360 It comforts me. I'm a collector. 520 00:29:38,444 --> 00:29:41,405 Why don't you go over there and sit on your dirty yoga mat 521 00:29:41,488 --> 00:29:45,325 and admire your... collections? 522 00:29:45,409 --> 00:29:47,578 Do you not want me to be comfortable in our dirt home? 523 00:29:47,661 --> 00:29:51,665 I'm simply asking you if these items spark joy. 524 00:29:52,833 --> 00:29:55,419 According to The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, 525 00:29:55,502 --> 00:29:59,673 you should only have items in your home that... spark joy. 526 00:29:59,756 --> 00:30:01,842 - You know what would bring me joy? - Hmm? 527 00:30:01,925 --> 00:30:05,971 - Smacking you. - Open hand only and just on my butt. 528 00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:08,682 Larry got off target once, and I did not enjoy it. 529 00:30:08,765 --> 00:30:10,559 - So, hard limit. - Funny. 530 00:30:13,770 --> 00:30:14,771 Fuck! 531 00:30:14,855 --> 00:30:17,566 What are all these people doing here? 532 00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,943 Maybe they like sleeping alfresco, too. 533 00:30:22,696 --> 00:30:24,256 Maybe they're playing follow the leader. 534 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:25,574 Shut up. 535 00:30:44,134 --> 00:30:47,137 Caputo, you son of a bitch! 536 00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:49,515 How do you sleep at night, knowing that that mother... 537 00:30:49,598 --> 00:30:50,932 Wrong toilet. 538 00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:53,268 - Oh, sorry. Caputo. - Leave me alone! 539 00:30:53,352 --> 00:30:56,980 - Caputo! - Red, over here. 540 00:30:58,231 --> 00:31:00,233 Hey! 541 00:31:02,528 --> 00:31:07,323 You knew what Piscatella was and you let that beast work here? 542 00:31:07,408 --> 00:31:08,992 In a women's prison? 543 00:31:09,075 --> 00:31:11,412 Hey. Hey! 544 00:31:11,495 --> 00:31:14,915 No kicking! I am very close to an overflow issue here! 545 00:31:14,998 --> 00:31:19,085 He murdered an inmate! And I know you know. 546 00:31:19,169 --> 00:31:21,296 Red, please. 547 00:31:21,380 --> 00:31:24,425 You have no idea how hot it is in here. 548 00:31:24,508 --> 00:31:27,928 And the smell. I can barely breathe. 549 00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:30,221 Oh, is it hot? Is it so hot? Oh! 550 00:31:30,305 --> 00:31:33,475 But at least you're not being boiled alive! 551 00:31:33,559 --> 00:31:35,959 You don't think I've been trying to get rid of this guy, too? 552 00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:39,565 I've been fishing around that same file. That's why it was in my office. 553 00:31:39,648 --> 00:31:41,858 But there was no charges pressed against him. 554 00:31:41,942 --> 00:31:44,528 It went through arbitration. It was... 555 00:31:46,237 --> 00:31:48,239 a guard's word against a dead inmate's. 556 00:31:48,323 --> 00:31:51,117 But where there is guilt, there's recourse. 557 00:31:51,201 --> 00:31:54,830 There's always pins that can be pushed under fingernails. 558 00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:58,834 How do you plan on getting to his fingers when you're in here, in a riot, 559 00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:01,587 and he's out there, with no charges against him? 560 00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:03,254 Maybe, if you wish hard enough, 561 00:32:03,338 --> 00:32:08,469 he'll suddenly decide to sit down and write a confession called "I did it." 562 00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:12,931 Yes... that's good. 563 00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:15,976 - But that's good... - No, that's not good. 564 00:32:16,059 --> 00:32:19,730 Red, let's make a deal. If you help me out of this, 565 00:32:19,813 --> 00:32:23,233 I will write you a glowing commendation for your file. 566 00:32:23,316 --> 00:32:26,612 You helped a warden in a time of crisis. 567 00:32:28,196 --> 00:32:29,197 Red. 568 00:32:30,115 --> 00:32:31,116 Red! 569 00:32:32,075 --> 00:32:33,886 Can you hear me? 570 00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:35,621 I call myself... 571 00:32:36,913 --> 00:32:38,331 Hey, Ruiz! Please! 572 00:32:38,414 --> 00:32:41,084 - He's hyperventilating. - He's not hyperventilating. 573 00:32:41,167 --> 00:32:43,545 He can't breathe and he's humming Sound of Music songs. 574 00:32:43,629 --> 00:32:46,089 Maybe that's normal for him. 575 00:32:46,172 --> 00:32:48,550 - Part of his process. - Stratman? 576 00:32:48,634 --> 00:32:51,470 Strat, Strat, Strat. Listen to me, okay, bud? 577 00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:54,515 I need you to take some deep breaths. Ready? 578 00:32:54,598 --> 00:32:57,100 Good. 579 00:32:58,226 --> 00:32:59,269 Hey, heads up! 580 00:33:00,896 --> 00:33:02,689 - You. - Oh, thank God. God, have mercy! 581 00:33:02,773 --> 00:33:06,485 No, not you! You, PR Guy. Up. Come on. Let's go. 582 00:33:06,568 --> 00:33:09,863 No, no, no! No, no, no, no. Please take me! Please, please take me! 583 00:33:09,946 --> 00:33:14,075 Please, please take me. Take me. 584 00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:16,787 Fucking guy. Wins everything. 585 00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:19,873 ♪ Do, a deer, a female deer ♪ 586 00:33:19,956 --> 00:33:23,126 ♪ Re, a drop of golden sun ♪ 587 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:27,172 - Hey, Ang, look what I found. - Is it the gun? 588 00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:30,842 - It's Donuts. - Oh, no way! How old? 589 00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:34,846 Man. Donuts the guard. Blech. 590 00:33:37,432 --> 00:33:39,643 Do we capture him? 591 00:33:39,726 --> 00:33:41,144 We don't got the gun. 592 00:33:41,227 --> 00:33:44,064 Oh, come on. I've eaten rabbits bigger than him. 593 00:33:45,148 --> 00:33:46,733 For real. There was this weird chemical 594 00:33:46,817 --> 00:33:48,569 in the runoff water that ran near our farm. 595 00:33:48,652 --> 00:33:50,946 My guinea pig got too big to pick up. 596 00:33:52,322 --> 00:33:53,406 On three? 597 00:33:53,489 --> 00:33:55,158 - Let's dunk this donut. - One, two, three. 598 00:33:55,241 --> 00:33:57,744 Hello! Peekaboo! 599 00:33:57,828 --> 00:33:59,621 Get out of there! 600 00:33:59,705 --> 00:34:03,249 Put your hands up and step away from me, inmates! I mean it. 601 00:34:03,333 --> 00:34:05,293 Oh, how cute is that? 602 00:34:05,376 --> 00:34:08,046 You're our hostage now, you squirmy little donut fucker. 603 00:34:08,129 --> 00:34:10,381 Donut fucker! 604 00:34:10,465 --> 00:34:12,346 I could totally see him doing that. 605 00:34:12,425 --> 00:34:13,844 Hey, Penn, look! We're capturers! 606 00:34:13,927 --> 00:34:17,472 I see that. Wow! Good work. 607 00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:19,265 Why are you guys down here? 608 00:34:19,349 --> 00:34:23,478 Well, we were looking for the gun, but instead, we found a giant rabbit pig. 609 00:34:25,689 --> 00:34:27,249 Prison heroes, two days in a row. 610 00:34:27,273 --> 00:34:29,109 Come on, help us take him to the bubble. 611 00:34:29,192 --> 00:34:32,863 Okay. Ooh, I have a better idea. Let's lock him in Poo instead. 612 00:34:32,946 --> 00:34:35,073 And show him how he's really done people wrong. 613 00:34:35,156 --> 00:34:38,409 But then, no one would see our victory parade to the bubble. 614 00:34:38,493 --> 00:34:40,871 Damn, I wish we had the gun for that. 615 00:34:40,954 --> 00:34:42,538 Show 'em our colors don't run. 616 00:34:42,623 --> 00:34:43,683 You know, I have a really good idea. 617 00:34:43,707 --> 00:34:46,668 Why don't you two stay here and look for the gun, 618 00:34:46,752 --> 00:34:49,588 - and I'll fucking take care of him? - No way! 619 00:34:49,671 --> 00:34:51,798 You wanna steal our thunder! Thunder thief. 620 00:34:51,882 --> 00:34:54,217 - Come on. Bubble. - Let's go. 621 00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:58,179 No, wait. No, you guys, I don't want to steal your thunder or your lightning. 622 00:34:58,263 --> 00:35:01,266 I just wanna see justice. 623 00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:06,605 All right, I'll... I'll cover you guys from behind, then. 624 00:35:06,688 --> 00:35:08,148 What do you mean, "which guy"? 625 00:35:08,231 --> 00:35:11,484 The fucking guy you got on your channel right now talking bullshit 626 00:35:11,567 --> 00:35:13,862 about "the gang politics of riots." 627 00:35:13,945 --> 00:35:15,656 - Talking out his ass. - Uh-huh. 628 00:35:15,739 --> 00:35:19,534 Yeah, saying that all the inmates at Litchfield are dangerous? 629 00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:21,258 That they don't want to be rehabilitated? 630 00:35:21,327 --> 00:35:24,080 Everyone I know in there wants to be rehabilitated. 631 00:35:24,164 --> 00:35:26,291 - Okay. - You're supposed to be a producer? 632 00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:30,003 'Cause I'm giving you pro tips here. I just got out that dump. 633 00:35:31,046 --> 00:35:32,798 Wait, you were an inmate? At... 634 00:35:32,881 --> 00:35:37,010 Litchfield! Yes. That's what I been trying to say, pendeja. 635 00:35:37,093 --> 00:35:38,261 My daughter's still in there. 636 00:35:38,344 --> 00:35:41,640 To confirm, you were in prison with Judy King? 637 00:35:41,723 --> 00:35:43,892 Judy King was in prison with me. 638 00:35:45,351 --> 00:35:47,813 Miss Diaz, can we send a town car for you? 639 00:35:47,896 --> 00:35:49,648 You're willing to go on air with us, right? 640 00:35:52,442 --> 00:35:53,526 Yeah. 641 00:36:02,202 --> 00:36:03,954 Ouch! 642 00:36:04,037 --> 00:36:07,332 I said square shape. 643 00:36:07,415 --> 00:36:11,377 Only Rihanna can rock the round toes. Don't forget it. 644 00:36:12,462 --> 00:36:14,798 It's like sawing through an elm. 645 00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:16,382 What was that? 646 00:36:16,466 --> 00:36:21,221 Uh, I said I love working on your feet, Bitch Goddess of Litch. 647 00:36:21,972 --> 00:36:24,015 That's what I thought you said. 648 00:36:25,350 --> 00:36:29,395 Don't worry. I'll free ya someday, Jude. 649 00:36:29,479 --> 00:36:32,941 Just as soon as you work off your debts, hmm? 650 00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:38,571 Though... you never did pay me for them Us Weekly photos, now did you? 651 00:36:38,654 --> 00:36:42,075 - Oh, no. - Mmm-mmm. 652 00:36:42,158 --> 00:36:44,035 So, it's gonna be a while. 653 00:36:45,746 --> 00:36:50,083 All right, spa time is over. Judy need to do her consult with PR. 654 00:36:50,166 --> 00:36:51,209 Oh, hell no! 655 00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:54,254 We ain't even done my asshole hair trimming yet! 656 00:36:54,337 --> 00:36:57,298 Look, I got to spread my cheeks and she gotta get up in there. 657 00:36:57,382 --> 00:37:00,343 Okay. Well, your wild booty hair gonna have to wait. 658 00:37:00,426 --> 00:37:03,889 'Cause Judy need to talk to the press 'fore things swell up out there 659 00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:06,266 and he gonna massage her talking points. 660 00:37:06,349 --> 00:37:07,851 Yes, he is. 661 00:37:07,934 --> 00:37:11,730 Now, wait. You expect me to go speak with the public? 662 00:37:11,813 --> 00:37:15,108 I thought you meant that I could write a statement through my people. 663 00:37:15,191 --> 00:37:18,945 I can't go out there like this! No. I mean, you can't be serious. 664 00:37:19,029 --> 00:37:20,530 Watson, are we serious? 665 00:37:25,451 --> 00:37:27,871 - What's your name, son? - Josh. 666 00:37:27,954 --> 00:37:30,248 Uh, big fan, Miss King. It's an honor. 667 00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:32,292 Thanks, darling. Thanks for watching. 668 00:37:32,375 --> 00:37:34,395 - Now, what's the take? - We got three talking points for you. 669 00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:36,379 - You just gonna wanna stick to the points. - Okay. 670 00:37:36,462 --> 00:37:39,424 "I am not a hostage. I am a participant. 671 00:37:39,507 --> 00:37:42,135 I want justice for Poussey. 672 00:37:42,218 --> 00:37:44,262 I want our demands met." 673 00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:45,447 - That's right. - All right. 674 00:37:45,471 --> 00:37:48,141 Now, do you want me to be off-book, or should I go out with this? 675 00:37:48,224 --> 00:37:49,326 Oh, you can have it with you. 676 00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:51,561 And we all think that you should get back in uniform. 677 00:37:51,644 --> 00:37:53,021 - So you look more united. - Yeah. 678 00:37:53,104 --> 00:37:56,482 And so, what do I say when they ask me, "Why were you on the roof with idiots?" 679 00:37:56,566 --> 00:37:58,777 Oh, no, no, no. Don't answer any questions. 680 00:37:58,860 --> 00:38:01,571 Anything they ask, you say, "That's a great question. 681 00:38:01,654 --> 00:38:06,326 But the bigger question is, what is going on in this prison system?" 682 00:38:06,409 --> 00:38:08,578 - Oh, he is good. - Mmm. 683 00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:12,582 Oh, and I personally think it might be helpful if you shared some sort of, um, 684 00:38:12,665 --> 00:38:14,793 relatable tribulations from your time in here. 685 00:38:14,876 --> 00:38:18,546 Some painful experiences, uh, injustices... 686 00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:22,300 Uh... 687 00:38:23,176 --> 00:38:24,344 Um... 688 00:38:26,637 --> 00:38:28,849 - We could also lie. - I am game to lie. 689 00:38:28,932 --> 00:38:32,143 All right, so now, ladies, what would you like me to say? 690 00:38:32,227 --> 00:38:34,145 We get thrown into the SHU arbitrarily. 691 00:38:34,229 --> 00:38:37,482 We're denied proper health care, dental. 692 00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:38,960 I saw a girl with a tooth gone septic, 693 00:38:38,984 --> 00:38:41,277 and they still didn't take her to the doctor. 694 00:38:41,361 --> 00:38:42,988 We get beat for no reason. 695 00:38:43,071 --> 00:38:45,991 We get cavity searched for no reason. 696 00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:49,494 We stuffed four in a bunk like we factory chickens. 697 00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:53,248 We can't get clean half the time 'cause there ain't enough bathrooms. 698 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:54,582 We fed slop. 699 00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:58,003 We don't get paid for our labor. We denied education. 700 00:38:58,086 --> 00:39:01,089 We're denied the chance to breastfeed our babies. 701 00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:03,508 We're denied basic humanity. 702 00:39:04,634 --> 00:39:07,428 And we get killed in the cafeteria for no reason. 703 00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:13,101 - You got a pen? - Yeah. 704 00:39:21,442 --> 00:39:23,163 You can't let this white woman speak for us. 705 00:39:23,194 --> 00:39:24,946 She needs to take our stories out her mouth. 706 00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:29,034 Come on, man. I know you saw them people out there with them Judy King signs. 707 00:39:29,117 --> 00:39:30,911 They want to hear from her. 708 00:39:30,994 --> 00:39:33,997 And it would be smart of us if we put her out there. 709 00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,792 They'll hear more of what we saying if it comes from her mouth. 710 00:39:37,876 --> 00:39:41,129 Yeah, but she's never been a real prisoner a day in her life. 711 00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:43,589 She ain't in mourning. She ain't outraged. 712 00:39:45,133 --> 00:39:47,260 This is our fight, T. 713 00:39:47,343 --> 00:39:49,304 Ours and Poussey's. 714 00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:53,308 And you're gonna let some fuckin' white woman, like, karaoke our song. 715 00:39:53,391 --> 00:39:55,226 That's fucked. 716 00:39:55,310 --> 00:39:56,519 I got this. 717 00:39:57,770 --> 00:39:59,451 You get to keep the laptops? 718 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,567 No, we keep them during the year and then we return them 719 00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:05,653 so that they can update or replace them over the summer. 720 00:40:05,736 --> 00:40:07,280 Oh, so what did you think of class? 721 00:40:07,363 --> 00:40:10,366 I'm sorry we spent so much time on citations. 722 00:40:10,450 --> 00:40:14,620 Erik thinks we need to know MLA, APA and Chicago Manual. 723 00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:16,206 Yeah. 724 00:40:16,915 --> 00:40:18,350 One of these is my brother's. 725 00:40:18,374 --> 00:40:20,501 For chess. He's a total nerd. 726 00:40:20,585 --> 00:40:22,337 He's at Carnegie Mellon now. 727 00:40:24,380 --> 00:40:27,050 Oh, my God! Do you like musical theater? 728 00:40:27,133 --> 00:40:29,427 Because I have something amazing to show you. 729 00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:33,222 - ♪ All you've gotta do is dream ♪ - ♪ All you've gotta do is dream ♪ 730 00:40:33,306 --> 00:40:35,350 ♪ All you gotta do is dream ♪ 731 00:40:35,433 --> 00:40:38,519 ♪ Just dream And pray that we'll be... ♪ 732 00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:40,646 - You're doing Dreamgirls? - Yeah. 733 00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:43,274 My parents saw the original production on Broadway. 734 00:40:43,358 --> 00:40:45,526 ♪ Dreamgirls ♪ 735 00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:51,491 ♪ Dreamgirls We'll be there ♪ 736 00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:53,368 All right, great. Good adjustment. 737 00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:55,078 Okay. Effie. 738 00:40:55,161 --> 00:40:57,372 Let's go to your solo, second bridge. 739 00:40:58,289 --> 00:41:00,666 You need to give this a lot more soul here, honey. 740 00:41:00,750 --> 00:41:04,462 Channel your inner Aretha and let those "No's" rip. 741 00:41:04,545 --> 00:41:10,259 ♪ And I am telling you ♪ 742 00:41:10,343 --> 00:41:15,098 ♪ I'll never win ♪ 743 00:41:15,181 --> 00:41:18,977 ♪ You're the best man I'll ever know ♪ 744 00:41:19,060 --> 00:41:22,688 ♪ There's no way I can ever, ever go ♪ 745 00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:25,566 ♪ No, no, no, no way ♪ 746 00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:30,613 ♪ No, no, no, no way I'm living without you ♪ 747 00:41:30,696 --> 00:41:36,077 ♪ I'm not living without you Not living without you ♪ 748 00:41:36,161 --> 00:41:38,829 ♪ I don't wanna be free ♪ 749 00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:43,168 ♪ I'm staying I'm staying ♪ 750 00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:49,007 ♪ And you, and you, and you You're gonna love me ♪ 751 00:41:50,591 --> 00:41:56,597 ♪ Oh, you're gonna love me ♪ 752 00:41:59,017 --> 00:42:00,935 ♪ Yes, sir ♪ 753 00:42:03,854 --> 00:42:07,608 ♪ Love me Love me ♪ 754 00:42:07,692 --> 00:42:09,402 ♪ Love me ♪ 755 00:42:10,445 --> 00:42:15,575 ♪ Love ♪ 756 00:42:15,658 --> 00:42:19,787 ♪ You're gonna love... ♪ 757 00:42:19,870 --> 00:42:22,540 I know, right? So moving. 758 00:42:23,916 --> 00:42:25,210 Sing it, Effie! 759 00:42:25,293 --> 00:42:28,588 ♪ Me ♪ 760 00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:43,353 - Yo, you just hit 10,000 views! - No shit! 761 00:42:43,436 --> 00:42:45,646 Let me see this. 762 00:42:48,941 --> 00:42:51,527 All these comments are about you, though. 763 00:42:51,611 --> 00:42:53,363 No, they're not. Go back. 764 00:42:53,446 --> 00:42:55,823 I saw your name back a ways. 765 00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:06,334 There. 766 00:43:10,546 --> 00:43:12,548 "Flaca looks like a beaner Cher." 767 00:43:15,093 --> 00:43:16,219 Come on! 768 00:43:16,302 --> 00:43:19,514 Cher's awesome. And you do like beans. 769 00:43:19,597 --> 00:43:22,016 Who gives a shit what some Internet troll says? 770 00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:24,185 It's stupid. I'm gonna put it on airplane mode. 771 00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:30,191 "Hashtag, show your tits, Maritz." 772 00:43:30,275 --> 00:43:32,110 Like, where do they come up with this? 773 00:43:32,193 --> 00:43:34,862 Mmm. 774 00:43:36,947 --> 00:43:39,659 Shut the fuck up, Stratman. 775 00:43:39,742 --> 00:43:42,245 ♪ You can sing most anything ♪ 776 00:43:42,328 --> 00:43:44,622 What? I'm so sick of you babies. 777 00:43:44,705 --> 00:43:46,225 - ♪ Do, a deer, a female deer ♪ - I hate you. 778 00:43:46,249 --> 00:43:48,000 - I hate you. - ♪ Re, a drop of golden... ♪ 779 00:43:48,083 --> 00:43:49,794 Can you please let him out? 780 00:43:49,877 --> 00:43:52,087 Hey, do you have any big erasers? 781 00:43:52,172 --> 00:43:53,506 I have sensitive cochlea! 782 00:43:53,589 --> 00:43:56,759 - And I can't stand this fucking idiot. - Fine! 783 00:43:56,842 --> 00:43:58,404 Shut up! 784 00:43:58,428 --> 00:44:00,281 All right. You wanna go to the bathroom, Stratman? 785 00:44:00,305 --> 00:44:02,140 Come on, come on. You... 786 00:44:02,223 --> 00:44:05,100 You go in the fucking Poo. 787 00:44:05,185 --> 00:44:07,937 That's right. What'd you call me, huh? Huh? 788 00:44:08,020 --> 00:44:11,816 You call me what? Go, go. Now, come on. 789 00:44:11,899 --> 00:44:14,109 Oh, thank God. 790 00:44:14,194 --> 00:44:16,862 Wait, there's no toilet paper. I need toilet paper. 791 00:44:16,946 --> 00:44:19,300 I will flip this fucking thing over if you say one more word. 792 00:44:19,324 --> 00:44:21,617 No, no, no. Please, please, please! 793 00:44:21,701 --> 00:44:23,203 Come on! 794 00:44:23,286 --> 00:44:25,163 Delgado, is that you? 795 00:44:25,246 --> 00:44:27,122 Nope. 796 00:44:27,207 --> 00:44:28,666 Gonzales? 797 00:44:29,875 --> 00:44:32,712 Ramos? 798 00:44:32,795 --> 00:44:34,255 Paiz? 799 00:44:36,716 --> 00:44:38,926 Ruiz! Maria Ruiz, please! 800 00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:40,636 Please, help me! 801 00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:42,012 Why the fuck would I do that? 802 00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:44,765 It's 120 degrees in here. The stench... 803 00:44:45,683 --> 00:44:47,727 My vomit is almost reaching the rim. 804 00:44:47,810 --> 00:44:49,604 - Please. - No can do. 805 00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:52,273 You know there will be severe consequences for this. 806 00:44:52,357 --> 00:44:55,568 You know that, Ruiz? Riots end, and inmates go to Max 807 00:44:55,651 --> 00:44:57,278 with years added to their sentence. 808 00:44:58,195 --> 00:45:00,781 If you help me, I will help you. 809 00:45:02,116 --> 00:45:05,077 That's what everyone that's ever fucked me over has said. 810 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,996 What about your kid, Ruiz? 811 00:45:07,079 --> 00:45:08,289 Think about her. 812 00:45:09,290 --> 00:45:13,919 If you help me, I can make sure your sentence doesn't get extended. 813 00:45:14,003 --> 00:45:14,921 Hey, no kicking! 814 00:45:15,004 --> 00:45:17,757 Piscatella already put five more years on my sentence 815 00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,425 for no fucking reason, all right? 816 00:45:19,509 --> 00:45:22,069 My daughter won't even know my name by the time I get out anyway. 817 00:45:22,094 --> 00:45:23,971 Ruiz, are you sure he put time on you? 818 00:45:24,054 --> 00:45:26,015 'Course I'm sure! 819 00:45:26,098 --> 00:45:28,518 You... you had a hearing already? 820 00:45:28,601 --> 00:45:31,562 - No. - Then it's not a done deal. 821 00:45:31,646 --> 00:45:34,106 And with the speed paperwork moves around Litchfield, 822 00:45:34,189 --> 00:45:35,441 I wouldn't be surprised 823 00:45:35,525 --> 00:45:38,361 if his recommendation is not even in your file yet. 824 00:45:39,111 --> 00:45:40,530 Have you seen your file? 825 00:45:42,407 --> 00:45:46,201 Piscatella, he's a... monster. 826 00:45:46,286 --> 00:45:50,540 He should never have been working here in the first place, and that's my fault. 827 00:45:50,623 --> 00:45:56,921 But you do not have to become the monster he's making you out to be. 828 00:45:57,004 --> 00:46:00,132 I've seen you with the other inmates. 829 00:46:01,509 --> 00:46:03,010 They look up to you. 830 00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:06,514 Huh? Ruiz? 831 00:46:10,726 --> 00:46:12,728 Stratman? 832 00:46:17,858 --> 00:46:18,859 Oh, fuck. 833 00:46:33,333 --> 00:46:36,586 Okay, enough. You have to tell me what's going on. 834 00:46:36,669 --> 00:46:38,421 What? 835 00:46:38,504 --> 00:46:42,717 Why there is an army of lemmings dressed like you, moving out here. 836 00:46:45,428 --> 00:46:48,598 - You sound insane. - I am not insane! 837 00:46:48,681 --> 00:46:50,850 You're gaslighting me right now. 838 00:46:50,933 --> 00:46:52,309 And technically... 839 00:46:52,393 --> 00:46:53,662 do you know that's emotional abuse? 840 00:46:53,686 --> 00:46:55,813 Do you know how I know that's emotional abuse? 841 00:46:55,896 --> 00:47:00,109 I read it in an online quiz once, called "Are You Being Emotionally Abused?" 842 00:47:04,614 --> 00:47:06,449 Okay, I may have shared some... 843 00:47:07,367 --> 00:47:11,286 some things in my history with a few inmates and it resonated. 844 00:47:11,371 --> 00:47:14,582 - They think I stand for something. - What things from your history? 845 00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:17,001 That I killed Aydin. 846 00:47:18,085 --> 00:47:19,545 You told them that you killed Aydin? 847 00:47:19,629 --> 00:47:22,131 I didn't say Aydin specifically. 848 00:47:23,173 --> 00:47:25,217 I just shared my... 849 00:47:25,300 --> 00:47:27,803 I don't know, status as a... as a murderess. 850 00:47:27,887 --> 00:47:29,304 I don't know, it just came out. 851 00:47:29,389 --> 00:47:30,949 We were supposed to take that to the grave. 852 00:47:30,973 --> 00:47:33,058 I went to Von Barlow and I begged her 853 00:47:33,142 --> 00:47:35,269 - to keep it a secret... - I didn't ask you to do that. 854 00:47:35,352 --> 00:47:37,033 So, what? Do you not want a future with me? 855 00:47:37,062 --> 00:47:38,272 Do you not want a real house? 856 00:47:38,355 --> 00:47:41,859 It's not a real house if I can't carry my truth inside it, Piper. 857 00:47:41,942 --> 00:47:43,545 And now you sound like a fucking E.E. Cummings poem. 858 00:47:43,569 --> 00:47:44,737 I'm not sorry. 859 00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:48,699 Yeah, it sucks that they turned it into some symbol of the resistance or whatever, 860 00:47:48,783 --> 00:47:51,452 but I am glad I said it out loud. 861 00:47:51,536 --> 00:47:54,329 Now, I want to lay down in my tchotchke nook 862 00:47:54,414 --> 00:47:57,792 and I wanna relax until this whole thing blows over. 863 00:47:58,834 --> 00:48:01,128 They heard what they wanted to. 864 00:48:02,004 --> 00:48:04,048 They turned it into some kind of a symbol. 865 00:48:05,215 --> 00:48:09,929 What you do and what you say affects people, Alex. 866 00:48:10,846 --> 00:48:12,723 It affects me. 867 00:48:14,642 --> 00:48:19,396 And if you do not curate your shit, you are not a collector. 868 00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:21,774 - You're a hoarder. - Okay, great. 869 00:48:21,857 --> 00:48:24,068 Very mature. Where're you... Where are you going? 870 00:48:24,151 --> 00:48:25,695 I am going to the guest room. 871 00:48:25,778 --> 00:48:26,779 Oh. 872 00:48:28,656 --> 00:48:32,201 I'm from Fresno, California, 46 years old, Puerto Rican, 873 00:48:32,284 --> 00:48:34,471 - doing 11 years for armed robbery... - Who's Rosalita Pontz? 874 00:48:37,206 --> 00:48:41,126 I'm from North Philly, 5'9", 285 pounds. 875 00:48:41,210 --> 00:48:42,920 I got no identifying marks, and... 876 00:48:43,003 --> 00:48:44,880 Who's Jodi Winkler? 877 00:48:44,964 --> 00:48:46,173 What? 878 00:48:46,256 --> 00:48:47,675 She's like Rain Man. 879 00:48:48,718 --> 00:48:50,553 Yo, you idiots got my file? 880 00:48:53,263 --> 00:48:54,682 Who's Maria Ruiz? 881 00:49:02,439 --> 00:49:05,568 I'm from Kingston, New York. 5'4", 180 pounds. 882 00:49:05,651 --> 00:49:07,194 I got a rose tattoo. 883 00:49:07,277 --> 00:49:09,363 Jessie... 884 00:49:09,446 --> 00:49:11,073 Whoo! 885 00:49:12,825 --> 00:49:16,245 "This prison has put me through unimaginable suffering, 886 00:49:16,328 --> 00:49:18,247 and I am not a victim of this riot. 887 00:49:18,330 --> 00:49:20,791 I am an active participant. 888 00:49:20,875 --> 00:49:23,961 Together, we stand united, protesting..." 889 00:49:24,044 --> 00:49:26,839 No. Uh, should it be "united we stand"? 890 00:49:26,922 --> 00:49:30,175 - Like the Pledge of Allegiance? - No. "We stand united." 891 00:49:30,259 --> 00:49:33,888 "Protesting how unfair this system is." 892 00:49:33,971 --> 00:49:35,848 "How unfair this system is." 893 00:49:35,931 --> 00:49:38,601 No, no. "How unfair this system is." 894 00:49:38,684 --> 00:49:41,395 Yes, yes, that's it. And punch the words. Don't forget. 895 00:49:41,478 --> 00:49:44,857 - You think this is gonna work? - This gotta work. 896 00:49:44,940 --> 00:49:47,210 - It's the only play we got. - Free Judy King! 897 00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:50,070 They sure ain't chanting for Poussey out there. Are they, T? 898 00:49:50,154 --> 00:49:55,868 "The waiter served a dinner roll to the woman that was well buttered." 899 00:49:55,951 --> 00:49:57,077 Come on, guys. 900 00:49:57,161 --> 00:50:00,039 Who can fix the misplaced modifier in that sentence? 901 00:50:00,956 --> 00:50:01,957 Anyone? 902 00:50:04,627 --> 00:50:05,628 Janae? 903 00:50:08,380 --> 00:50:12,843 "The waiter served a dinner roll that was well buttered to the woman." 904 00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:14,219 Everyone? 905 00:50:15,220 --> 00:50:16,764 Do we see why? 906 00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:21,811 Okay, we'll pick up here tomorrow 907 00:50:21,894 --> 00:50:24,063 and then we'll move on to dangling modifiers. 908 00:50:24,146 --> 00:50:26,816 Janae? A word, please. 909 00:50:33,573 --> 00:50:36,742 I need your mom to sign this, so she knows you got a D. 910 00:50:36,826 --> 00:50:39,662 It's hard for me to write grades like this on your work, Janae. 911 00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:41,622 I know what you're capable of. 912 00:50:41,706 --> 00:50:44,458 Whatever. Not like it's a real paper. 913 00:50:44,541 --> 00:50:45,668 What do you mean? 914 00:50:45,751 --> 00:50:49,546 I mean, we ain't quoting secondary sources using APA or MLA, 915 00:50:49,630 --> 00:50:52,299 and we ain't studying SAT words or growing salad, 916 00:50:52,382 --> 00:50:53,944 and we don't even have a library in this school 917 00:50:53,968 --> 00:50:56,568 'cause it got made into a nursery for our fucking hood rat babies! 918 00:50:56,596 --> 00:50:57,597 Janae. 919 00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:00,600 Two zip codes from here they got laptops and art galleries. 920 00:51:00,683 --> 00:51:03,518 They got so much culture, they ain't even knowin' they stealin' ours. 921 00:51:03,603 --> 00:51:05,104 It's a load of shit. 922 00:51:08,065 --> 00:51:09,149 You're right. 923 00:51:11,318 --> 00:51:13,613 I wish you weren't, but it's true. 924 00:51:13,696 --> 00:51:16,448 The Thurston students are privileged and advantaged, 925 00:51:16,531 --> 00:51:19,510 and sometimes you feel like you have to work twice as hard to get half as far, 926 00:51:19,534 --> 00:51:21,704 but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. 927 00:51:21,787 --> 00:51:23,706 Okay? You belong with the brightest... 928 00:51:23,789 --> 00:51:26,333 But why even bother playin' a game that's rigged? 929 00:51:26,416 --> 00:51:27,936 Courtney's going to a science camp this summer 930 00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,462 that cost more than my dad makes in three months. 931 00:51:30,545 --> 00:51:32,006 How could I ever compete? 932 00:51:34,049 --> 00:51:35,843 I'll see ya, Miss Fowler. 933 00:51:43,517 --> 00:51:44,577 I don't know, you guys. 934 00:51:44,601 --> 00:51:46,622 I just think that we should have a little bit of fun with him, 935 00:51:46,646 --> 00:51:48,563 you know, like, torture him. 936 00:51:48,648 --> 00:51:50,565 One by one. I'll go first. 937 00:51:54,779 --> 00:51:57,823 Nah, I don't like that show. Change the channel. 938 00:52:00,242 --> 00:52:01,702 These guard uniforms are itchy. 939 00:52:04,579 --> 00:52:07,457 Maybe we should change them after we dump him? 940 00:52:07,541 --> 00:52:09,560 Yeah! Let's wear bedsheet togas and trip again. 941 00:52:09,584 --> 00:52:11,003 Mmm, yeah! 942 00:52:11,086 --> 00:52:12,939 Oh, yeah. And maybe we'll find the gun that way. 943 00:52:12,963 --> 00:52:15,358 'Cause we'll go, like, full circle and remember where we put it. 944 00:52:15,382 --> 00:52:16,383 Yeah. 945 00:52:16,466 --> 00:52:17,551 Freeze! 946 00:52:17,634 --> 00:52:20,179 Put your hands up! Put your hands up! Get over there. 947 00:52:20,262 --> 00:52:24,099 - You stole our gun? - No, it was in her belt. 948 00:52:24,183 --> 00:52:26,977 - Angie, are you fucking kidding me? - What? 949 00:52:27,061 --> 00:52:28,938 You put it on your belt! 950 00:52:29,021 --> 00:52:31,023 I didn't even know I was wearing a belt. 951 00:52:31,982 --> 00:52:33,734 I must have put it on when I was fucked up. 952 00:52:33,818 --> 00:52:38,155 Which is weird, because I hate belts. They give me camel toe. 953 00:52:39,531 --> 00:52:43,327 Intake is your best bet out, okay? But be really careful in the hallways. 954 00:52:43,410 --> 00:52:44,453 Here, take it. 955 00:52:46,496 --> 00:52:47,998 Oh, shit! 956 00:52:48,082 --> 00:52:49,267 - What the fuck! - Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 957 00:52:49,291 --> 00:52:50,375 Shit. I'm sorry! It was... 958 00:52:50,459 --> 00:52:52,228 - Shut the fuck... - It was an accident. 959 00:52:52,252 --> 00:52:54,088 You shot my favorite finger, 960 00:52:54,171 --> 00:52:56,590 - you fucking asshole! - Go. 961 00:52:56,673 --> 00:52:58,675 - But I can't leave you. - You have to go, okay? 962 00:52:58,759 --> 00:52:59,927 Just go. Hurry. 963 00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:01,971 - Ooh... fuck. - Oh, my God. 964 00:53:02,054 --> 00:53:03,723 - Fucker! - Are you gonna die? 965 00:53:05,015 --> 00:53:07,184 You are so gonna pay for this. 966 00:53:08,518 --> 00:53:09,979 - Get her! - Bitch! 967 00:53:24,827 --> 00:53:27,246 What? No... No, I gotta do the PR. 968 00:53:40,175 --> 00:53:41,987 Judy. Judy King. 969 00:53:42,011 --> 00:53:43,929 Judy King, are you a Muslim now? 970 00:53:44,013 --> 00:53:47,057 Judy. Judy King. Are you a Muslim now? 971 00:53:48,350 --> 00:53:50,895 You want me to talk first or make an introduction? 972 00:53:50,978 --> 00:53:52,604 - Judy! - No, I'll start. 973 00:53:52,687 --> 00:53:53,957 Did they hurt you at all? 974 00:53:53,981 --> 00:53:56,108 Are you in any jeopardy? 975 00:53:58,652 --> 00:54:00,904 Good morning. My name... 976 00:54:01,906 --> 00:54:05,826 is Tasha Jefferson and I'm an inmate here at Litchfield. 977 00:54:05,910 --> 00:54:08,078 Two days ago, 978 00:54:08,162 --> 00:54:12,707 our friend and fellow inmate, Poussey Washington, 979 00:54:12,792 --> 00:54:14,960 was murdered by a prison guard. 980 00:54:17,129 --> 00:54:18,463 Poussey Washington. 981 00:54:19,381 --> 00:54:23,302 And I'm sayin' her name again because it can't ever be said enough. 982 00:54:24,804 --> 00:54:28,265 Now, as you can see, Judy King ain't injured 983 00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:30,309 and she ain't a hostage. 984 00:54:31,226 --> 00:54:34,563 And she has a statement that she'd like to make at this time. 985 00:54:35,981 --> 00:54:38,317 And good morning, my fellow Americans. 986 00:54:39,318 --> 00:54:43,363 "This prison has put me through unimaginable suffering. 987 00:54:43,447 --> 00:54:47,701 - And I am not a victim of this riot... " - No, she will not... 988 00:54:47,784 --> 00:54:50,037 She is not gonna be making a statement. 989 00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:52,664 Sorry. 990 00:54:52,747 --> 00:54:54,708 She will not be speaking for us 991 00:54:54,791 --> 00:54:59,796 because Judy King can't speak for the inmates of this prison. 992 00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:02,049 She was kept separate from us, 993 00:55:02,132 --> 00:55:06,345 held in a private room with better treatment and a seltzer-maker. 994 00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:11,183 And moments after our friend, Poussey Washington, 995 00:55:11,266 --> 00:55:15,312 was murdered by a guard for doing nothing wrong, 996 00:55:15,395 --> 00:55:19,649 Judy King was packing her bags to go home on early release. 997 00:55:20,650 --> 00:55:25,572 Because she's rich and white and powerful. 998 00:55:28,742 --> 00:55:32,371 Now, our fight is not with Judy King. 999 00:55:32,454 --> 00:55:36,500 Our fight is with a system that don't give a damn 1000 00:55:36,583 --> 00:55:42,297 about poor people and brown people and poor brown people. 1001 00:55:43,257 --> 00:55:44,716 Our fight... 1002 00:55:46,010 --> 00:55:47,427 is with the folks... 1003 00:55:48,803 --> 00:55:52,516 who hold our demands in their hands. 1004 00:55:53,683 --> 00:55:55,769 Which you people need to read, by the way, 1005 00:55:55,852 --> 00:55:59,481 and stop watching this fool shit comin' out of here online 1006 00:55:59,564 --> 00:56:05,654 and get a hold of our demand list because those demands are fair and necessary, 1007 00:56:05,737 --> 00:56:09,574 and show that we intend to keep this demonstration 1008 00:56:09,658 --> 00:56:13,162 peaceful and focused on change. 1009 00:56:14,914 --> 00:56:18,042 Now, Judy King is free to leave. 1010 00:56:18,125 --> 00:56:20,294 She's not a hostage and you can have her back. 1011 00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:22,629 Judy, get the hell out of here. 1012 00:56:29,261 --> 00:56:31,638 Oh, my God. What did I just do? 1013 00:56:33,515 --> 00:56:35,059 You fuckin' freed my ho! 1014 00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:38,728 Who's gonna tend to my African sunflower? 1015 00:56:38,812 --> 00:56:41,273 You ever think about a career in the church? 1016 00:56:41,356 --> 00:56:44,193 That was something. 1017 00:56:44,276 --> 00:56:46,028 You did her right. 1018 00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:48,113 You did our girl right, T. 1019 00:56:48,197 --> 00:56:49,637 Open this door! 1020 00:56:51,825 --> 00:56:53,118 Open the door or I'll shoot! 1021 00:57:02,586 --> 00:57:05,005 Uh, I'm fine. 1022 00:57:06,048 --> 00:57:07,466 Hey! Hey! 1023 00:57:07,549 --> 00:57:08,968 Drop your weapon! 1024 00:57:09,051 --> 00:57:10,094 Drop it! 1025 00:57:11,261 --> 00:57:13,472 Oh, my God. Let me out of here! 1026 00:57:13,555 --> 00:57:15,557 Put it down! Put down the weapon! 1027 00:57:15,640 --> 00:57:17,517 Move in! Move in! 81573

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