Original subtitles

whereas the reaction of the employment

minister to Robert Carr was one of pure

and unadulterated fun Tavo

I would like to last a stop in dispute

just cause a lot

but God's sake darling there is a fair

warning to river thought Andrew was

coming we just had a bloody mate round

he's still got back to his flat good rip

oh you love it really don't you what do

I mean him

well he's not boring darling is he let's

face it anyway in polo

gosh gorgeous no you can't have him

darling not possible by the hell not

he's engaged

sorry now he's free

that would make Andrew jealous wouldn't

it

let me bloody word darling the princess

bloody whale I'd go for it if I were you

Halliday

hello what happened this morning

am i forgiven

befriend him

Hasini invasion the Annabelle's fine

really I wonder why you bother with them

let's find a piano my stuff

my name is Camille - and very pleased to

meet you did you know that the first

proper gaming parlor played in this

country was in Homs love in 1869 I mean

somehow house

how wonderful to have a university

education the tempers ours won by three

goals - - are you gonna cross wires -

sir then he'd call me sir my name is

Charles

what can I do for fear presumptuous sin

Charles I'm desperate for a cigarette

why don't indulge on the face no I know

that there are plenty of opportunities

here you can't get yourself Cerreta shop

in the least offenders yeah I meant do

you mind if I smoke in front of you I

mean

good heavens now half the family snakes

Princess Margaret passed away like a

chilly

so what other vices do you have

I didn't mean I'm glad it will flow this

topic

what sort of things that Maya doesn't

mind to ask you out

now I'd understand if you'd rather not I

mean if I were in your shoes anything

I'd want to go to someone like me is

more bond it's worth not that there is

any when I was like me unfortunately

that's the trouble but you're only

asking me out Charles what's the big

deal

Ceaser's me

she

talk me

I'm lovely to see you what a coincidence

I met your sweet brother just a few

hours back I never met him before

in that odd not too much of a

disappointment I hope quite the contrary

anyway I've got to go don't rush off on

my account I'm not good night

she

well what do you like

I'd like you to stay away from extracts

darling if that's all right with you

I'm not even hunting rook dummy jumping

with all that bloody fool you're gonna

kill yourself

what are you trying to do impress me

there's no way to talk to me oh please

I've never been very good at sports

there's something about riding really

fast and taking the high friends but I

didn't take it overly cool you might be

doing it much longer if you go for every

bloody hedge and ditch like that you'll

be dead or in a wheelchair thing innit

the risk of it focuses the mind

wonderfully but from worrying about

everything else that's me I find a large

gin and tonic as much the same effect

I hear y'all seem commissioned don't do

that as a matter of fact Andrew what do

you mean nothing

just heard of stationing him abroad

Germany or somewhere

I know wondering how you'll cope I shall

cope perfectly well thank you

which is a little fling that's one how

you okay queer Camilla

I can't imagine well it's nothing

serious

we've been riding on top yes Andrew

tells me Miller ain't very well

I believe it's from Prince Phillip sir

would you like me to wait for a reply

sir no forgive me sir but I was given to

understand that His Royal Highness

expected a reply even when I need you to

take a reply I'll summon you otherwise

assume not of course

I must say this is a first child really

one chat firm and having another one

waiting outside could get used to this

don't embarrass please sorry won't used

to detect

sorry bit of a mess nice charlie really

I mean it well you're going to find out

I'm a slut soon enough I suppose

exactly you sure you don't want a brandy

no thank you I have to fly an aeroplane

tomorrow I wouldn't do if I had a

hangover why'd you have to fly an

aeroplane how absolutely terrifying

yeah sure other like it made sense of

freedom on one's own in the cockpit well

that's why I'm doing it so why are you

well I was in the Prince of Wales and

one day I'll be king and Lamar and

father and uncle Dickie have mapped out

my future for me especially father

first they RAF and then the Navy I might

say that everything I happens to me is

the preparation don't you dread it

though the whole thing thank you well

one's destiny isn't it truthfully

embarrassing world I know any mama and I

really know what it feels like we didn't

talk about it but well it's a sort of

thing between us I think she knows I'd

never let her down am i boring you sorry

I should leave no go please sit down

you're sweet very sweet boy am I allowed

to say that hydrogen rather you didn't

so what happens say yes I mean how long

does that chappie have to stay outside

as long as I'm in here so what do we do

send out food and drink at regular

intervals or do they bring in supplies

from the palace I suppose you've had all

these jokes before almost people are a

little more circumspect circumspect

1-cos very used to being called sir did

you told me not to look I dunno about

royal bloody protocol Charles do you

know who my grandmother was my

great-grandmother actually she was your

great-great grandfather's mistress

Charles and you know what she said her

job was she said my job is to curtsey to

the king first then jump into bed with

him did you really yes you did your

bonnet on saying what I think you're

saying put it this way Charles I'm

buggered if I'm curtsy

it

thank you very much down Emily she good

fun I like him

bring her here whenever you want much

better than all those awful flat-chested

girl she's healed over the place

nowadays what's her name Twiggy God in

heaven there you got yourself a real

woman we're experienced got a bit of

meat are mmm damn good fun in bed too I

bet come on don't be so coy

huh really very fond of her of course

you are perfect mistress material well I

say that I'm fond of her what I mean to

say is that I'm extremely fond haha he

does have a moving target Charles don't

think about settling down now well don't

even consider it till you're 30

ever knows you're gonna have time enough

to be serious just so your Wild Oats

you're the luckiest young man alive

you've got millions you're the Prince of

Wales get God if you can screw any girl

you bloody want enjoy it

uncle Vicki thinks you're terrific your

father's uncle well I used to call him

grandpa that's how I think of him really

my honorary grandfather he's always been

there for me always managed to make time

for me of course come on father

fifthly busy no their father I know this

absurd we've had an an each other but it

don't feel like that does it probably

the last thing you want to hear but I've

got to ask would you ever consider

marrying me oh god no oh Christ

look don't get me wrong Charles I'm

fearfully fond of you I no desire

whatsoever to be queen I mean living

your life in a bloody goldfish bowl who

in their right mind would want that

though some girls are rather keen on the

idea look why don't we just enjoy

ourselves Charles have some fun I'll

show you how good I am have fun

don't worry I'm good enough for both of

us

yes you are

to try not look so bloody depressed

about it that's what you like about me

you idiot by the way did you know I'm

not a virgin Charles it's true I'm

afraid

here's another reason I could never be

queen

good grief no pizza unhand me then

Gladys Oh Gladys

aren't you filthy again I'm not filthy

whore Gladys if you're not nice to me

I'll call president Fred and he'll have

you dead he were you didn't tell me you

were against fire you didn't ask

hmm you should have done you naughty

naughty boy well if you still should

have turned off the owner didn't Fred I

can't

the tiny is danger of getting out of

your depth - darling I've no idea what

you're talking about and how's it stand

with Andrew I imagine he's heard all

about Charles by now I imagine he must

have done yes

so lots of adoring desperate letters

from Germany then cook a lot quite his

style adoring letters or desperate for

that matter no of course not

Henry would be just the same yeah

Charles isn't like that at all

fit solemn and pompous at times but

mostly well I must say it's terribly

nice to be with a chap who's so open

about things Christ

what do you mean open I don't know sort

of tells you what he feels and who

really seems to need one somehow

embedded comfy with it Charles you know

that as well as I do the last thing the

royal family needs is a princess with a

past is gonna be good and tastes the

perfect fantasy up there on a pedestal

do you not think finding a girl who's

pure and chaste is a little tricky

nowadays in fact that right bloody

impossible answer not all young girls

and I kill Cambridge bloody

intellectuals all you got to do is to

find the sweet character girl before

some other chap gets his hands on her

and when time comes

we've all been there to help you we

your father and I are agreed that at

present your priority is the Navy it's

an excellent trainer and it will prepare

you in so many ways for your future I'm

aware of my duty uncle and despite what

my father says I'm not a shocker I take

it extremely seriously but I did think

that I might be allowed to have a life -

you're a serving officer Charles and

you're about to go to sea even if you

were to find the girl of your dreams

tomorrow how could you possibly ask her

to commit herself till you're back on

terra firma for good

I hope she'll wait for me

Barrett Timmy eight nine I'll write you

every day

I'd like that

the industry cooks I will

besides are awful it's good Charles in

each of the eight months older by the

end of it it's what you need few more

years under your belt and boy prints

into a man

dear Gladys fred is being forced to

become a man rather more quickly than he

might have wished Mama's insistence that

I should be treated just like any other

junior officer as I'm shouldering

wonders for my moral fiber and giving

the immense understanding and sympathy

for my fellow man but I long to wake up

and find you lying next to me with that

wonderful welcoming smile that makes me

feel loved and wanted dear Fred your

letters are swinging I miss you too but

we must both try to enjoy us not be too

sad we're apart never forget life is for

living we only get one chance

my philosophy if I can call it that

is that we really ought to grab what

comes along before it's too late

does that sound horribly selfish I don't

mean it to but life's awfully fragile

who knows what tomorrow might bring your

loving but not very bright Gladys

all right I'm in Germany I missed him as

the sake put you in the tower or

something you only been friendly God I

saw the Dark Ages you know

that's a good then evidently

what exactly you trying to do Andrew

how do you mean just wondered which

royal bed you're really trying to get

into the terrible thing to say

since you are I am a little curious

let's mention flattered your brother

should must delay in on my territory you

still regard her as your territory

Camilla and I we go back a long way

extraordinary habit of competition what

focuses the mind glitter alchemy no

Freddy's extraordinarily depressed and

homesick and generally costly today the

announcement vans engagement to that

dreary chat Philips made me realize just

how few people one has the knife one's

ever really close to of course I think

she's making an appalling mistake but

the point is she'll no longer be there

for me like she used to be so there's

only uncle Dicky and you

and you see more and more of a fantasy a

brief and wonderful dream I had is that

what you are Camilla

at the moment the only silver lining I

can see is a few days I have lined up in

Ireland with uncle Dickie

the castles rather cozy really uncle

Dickie says he always feels more relaxed

there than anywhere in the world perhaps

I shall take you to classy born one day

would you like that

so what do you think about irons news

well I'm delighted for come on good chap

I'm sure hey well not a castle egg

anyway you don't think a possible

pressure on me to do the decent thing I

mean why should well because she's my

younger sister she's got off the mark

before me Oh Charles

grandpa pas just arrived they never

leave you alone do they

thank you ma'am no they really don't

sound in our pretty girls yeah like our

mother was at her age we're given a few

more years if your options open

no hurry is it what is it

Camela tells me she's getting engaged

fuck balls

my planning's marry in July

Charlie

strange burning smells in the kitchen oh

shit I can see your knickers darling

lucky you

I'm you're gonna change in a frock just

oh god no Charles won't mind anyone else

I'm a start

oh good god don't waste it on the dogs

good boy Lamar's on an economy Drive I

could take it home for summer you poor

thing

we're saving water and heating too

sometimes I wake up in the middle of the

night when a cold sweat thinking upset

at Gordon Stern gospel we've got some

news for us mm I'm pregnant

congratulations both of you marvelous

news well done

a beautiful chap

I intend on taking my duties it's

Godfather extremely seriously

religion honest

that settles it what settles it

she's a family now family in the life of

her own perhaps it's time you did

not too

Oh

terribly nice name Fiona thank you sir I

need to call me sir

no no so what your friends go there do

they have a special name for you

well some people call me young young you

certainly are jolly well put together

yum yum thank you sir

right

Parker

at least fancy hair is the sister-in-law

she did seem to rather resent me

spending so much time fishing after

Attica even worse I don't think she even

liked our moral very much how could you

know my no moral best place on earth

perhaps not in once an enthusiastic

Arthur swinging London you don't mind me

telephoning you I know I shouldn't why

shouldn't you

well because I'd be really offended if

you didn't you mean that don't be so

bloody silly of course I do

so when are you going to invite us up

again visits long overdue I'd say

right here off to London tonight trade

so happy with a regiment all week tough

on Camilla sir she prefers in the

country now as we wanted gossipy with

the officers wise let's go stay at home

with Tom the dogs I suggested you travel

down with me tomorrow good night good

officer you tell me dear it's not little

sighs sometimes think I'm not quite as

good a husband as I might I mean having

to be up in terms that's not it's good

for a better company don't sleep feeling

guilty

I very much appreciate you asking Joe

so how are things on the sex front home

dear poor Charles you see the thing is

it's not the actual sex itself it's

afterward how do you mean afterwards

hello before sometimes just the

appalling effort of having to have a

conversation with someone has nothing in

common with not even a sense of humor

the turbo thingy I can talk to anyone I

can talk to you I've met anyone even a

fool this time

what about the foreign girl bloody

gorgeous by the sounds of it what

happened to her

oh god no she that's exactly it we went

to bed take off our things and I just

started young

making doctor do you mind awfully if I

talk to you like this

come on well we just started to get down

to it and she suddenly says what should

I call you sir or Charles

so I said call me Arthur you didn't say

that I did you see that's exactly it she

didn't find it funny but you do

no bloody hope at all a lot of

photographs of suitable young women most

of whom are completely unsuitable prints

stranded between altar and abyss yes I

saw it rather melodramatic

I thought firstly I found the idea of

marrying the wrong woman and enduring

fifty years of misery far more

disturbing and still being a bachelor at

30

well our papers are any reflecting mood

of the country Charles what do they

create it by the way the country is

determined you should find a bride a

mistress there's no substitute for a

wife Charles I don't have a mistress

Camilla is not my mistress she's my

friend my very good friend and that's

all

unfortunately hmm besides she's just had

a baby of heaven sake and pressure's

only going to get worse you know do you

think I should pursue matters with

Amanda tell me if you do well after your

course Macbeth what she talks about you

all the time

and in the most glowing terms and your

father's absolutely right nothing would

give me greater pleasure than to see you

and Amanda married good heavens why

couldn't it both my favorite young

people on the throne of England

but then I always was a selfish old

bastard seems our mutual grandfather

harbors a certain romantic vision you

mean you and me let's talk to you about

it he really does mean well doesn't he

for both of us yes it does really does

what exactly did you expect her to say

there's something a bit more explicit a

little hint as to whether or not I was

wasting my time entirely was the Prince

of Wales darling even modern young girls

like a man are going to be pretty

careful what they say to you you think

that's fate I just assumed she family

headless and repugnant do you mind if I

stay I shan't impose on your dinner

party just the sort of driving back home

to a lot more heavy-handed nudge-nudge

remarks about clever all down and her

wonderful baby

boobies license possible I'll make you

some beans on toast a wonderful wife

hundred avender

we've got no to me the heavy bed license

to drive one of these yeah the first was

experienced I've ever seen he don't you

late

good party

great fun

is enters into bed had to go back to

London

you mind me asking how you cope

I could because he's my husband and I

love him and he loves me and of course

there's Tom you really love him

I'd bloody do I know he sleeps with

other women but lots of my friends have

marriages like that I think I've been

pissed actually

you

but we have is important to Charles know

but for me too I mean in fact it seems

to have become more and more important

which really is a bit tricky

not necessarily that would be good even

trickier you know it would

came to bed

I've something to ask you Amanda correct

me if I'm wrong but we do seem to get

along rather well but I'd be dishonest

if I didn't tell you my Frank opinion

which is that marriage to the heir to

the throne is a terrible burden which

brings with it little but sacrifice and

loss of freedom on the other hand

perhaps a second cousin might approach

it positively with a willingness to

accept that burden what I'm saying is

will you marry me Amanda

I really like you Charles I like being

with you such a lot I did wonder if this

might happen but I was enjoying myself

too much to say anything I feel about

you like a brother an older brother

which is a very good starting point for

married life is it sir I told you I

didn't want to be interrupted yes sir

but it's mrs. Parker Bowles

line once

I'm so sorry to hear about Amanda I got

your message last night but Andrew was

here silly girl

I have been awfully too horribly

objected Charles No

what is it uncle Dickie he'd been killed

in bed up by the IRA he's but

come down here now darling please

police in the Irish Republic have

reported the road

:

here's a warrior he survived to abort

it's not the sort to be beaten by a few

mad drunk bloody Irishman

I shouldn't have intruded on me like

this I'm sorry I asked you to

keep trying to tell myself that I was

lucky to have him so long

I gained so much from it

is there a possible

I understand

you always do

there you go down to the sea in ships

and occupy their business in great

waters fighters word the stormy wind

arises which lifted up the waves they're

off they are carried up to the heavens

and down again to the deep their soul

melted away because of the trouble to

manage Valar you as I was walking up the

I allowed to make myself think of you

not him I found it really difficult

myself I can't endure it without you any

of it kind but I can't

you should leave Andrew divorce him

marry me I don't know I'm not laughing

at you I love you and I want to marry

you I never loved anyone else know damn

sure I never will now it's not possible

you know it's not anything is possible

one just has to make it possible you'll

be forced to give up your throne your

whole family would hate you you'd end up

like the Duke of Windsor forced to live

on some godforsaken Island completely

pointless existence I'll be branded of

calculating old bitch like the poor old

Duchess it's just how hard it really is

does it have to be you know I love you

and I'm here for you and I always will

be here

that's what uncle Dicky said

yes but I will be so long as the fags

don't get me or I fall off a bloody

horse and break my neck

we'll always be number one I promise you

can remit yes Fred

I do now Gladys I think I'm beginning to

feel a little better now before we get

carried away something I want to discuss

with you what is it I'm going to find

you a wife well you haven't been much

good at it the family hasn't been much

cop either at least this way I get find

out who the competition is you sure

about Princess Caroline yes we've

already met

she irritated me enormously and I

believe I brought her to death she's

European

and a princess couldn't you put up with

just a tiny bit of irritation it's even

remotely possible she's a virgin frankly

I think I'm even less likely to end up

marrying her than Susan George we're

talking innocent young virgins Charles

not past shags what about someone your

mother would like to meet

you

Nana this is my sister how do you do

that is an excellent horse woman we met

on hunting field it's extraordinary how

horses bring people together Charles

always said that I could marry my horse

so I married mom actually I think you

might be right

she's a very old friend evidently did

you like to dart yes thank you

no one treats me like that not even you

don't ever ever ignore me like that

again all right

ignoring one's girlfriend and dancing

with one's mistress all evening is a

trifle tactless Charles they keep a

rather low profile part of my life

whoever I marry if they're not accepted

I think they might just find that a

little difficult

find someone

do you know anyone any nice sweet

virgins when my mom didn't mention

someone lady Fermoy granddaughter

pause Charles isn't keen what a surprise

oh she's 19

just imagine it farty I should be so

boring I don't know someone not to set

in our ways

someone you could mold a little darling

sounds rather promisee with the girl of

a name Diana what are the Spencer girls

if you go out with her sister Sarah yes

not much for success but did you you

know no II didn't well that's relief in

it if you know what I mean

yes rather

are you really 90 darted are getting

younger Emily just nineteen sir was my

birthday a couple of weeks ago

really well then to birth to them thank

you I hope you don't mind me saying

something sir just I saw you on

television at your own firm up at my

funeral

last year I thought you look so sad or

pee at the aisle

it's the most tragic thing I've ever

seen my heart bled for you

I thought it's wrong

you're so lonely be with somebody to

look after you

nicely thing to say

thank you

how long did you drive take 20 minutes

I'll get it down to 50 you got I got

really lost I have infinite faith God

gonna be marvelous isn't it proper place

of your own one you've actually chosen I

knew it was like second I saw it

marvelous thing is you're so near can't

imagine a sexier neighbor like a star

I've spoken to a few charms about the

steps that are brilliant with children

apparently definitely no fast well

there's a miracle huh absolutely well it

all sounds perfectly sweet I got that

impression myself would you like me to

vet that for you darling

I think I word yes if you don't mind

thousand loves the country much happier

outdoors and indoors really think you

could deal with that year of course

likes nothing better than spending a

little bit on his own traipsing through

the country just him and his drugs

sometimes they've had to send out search

parties I just admire so much

here's so much responsibility I met that

needs to unwind one we're just have to

respect that

you hunt sorry

do you hunt no no I don't don't think I

could manage that actually

why should I do you think not at all

don't worry after all can't be good at

everything can you

I really feel one could do something

here for one's mark upon it garden could

be marvelous hmm exactly

as for the farm it's three hundred and

forty acres Andrew well might be able to

make it commercially viable just about

borrow a couple of cows from Windsor

provide ones then milk just imagine

Alice alias

what about indoors Charles how the plans

the decorations coming

what decorations well it's going to need

a major overhaul I mean eight bedrooms

and four receptions it is for isn't it

of course it'll need someone to organize

it perhaps dynamite like to help yes

what an excellent idea but any of you've

got the time of course you're probably

far too busy with your kindergarten and

things no I'd be honored so if you're

sure you'd want me to

well undertaking such a major operation

may prove rather excessive you'll just

have to get used to Charles what he

really means that he'd love you too hmm

oh my god there

and the fruit trees - vegetable garden

that

i'ma touch create paths and hedges of

course my ultimate dream is to combine

the wildest nature with a definite

formality of design both in the same

garden yin yang is it work

sounds wonderful so it's a really

beautiful place

Pachelbel's help you choose it she did

offer a bit of advice yeah

a very good friend my oldest friend is

right she lives just a bit

that kind of us yeah wasn't it

I ask you something else yes

if you ever did have a line just closing

I mean do you think you'd still be just

as good friends with mrs. Parker Bowles

why do you laugh I just wanted

well

perhaps not quite as good friends no

thank you what do you mean thank you

nothing really sir

come on let's go Smee

you're bored

she's terribly sweet and terribly nice

really seems to adore me well that

always helps

she's also hardly young you have nothing

whatsoever to talk about sometimes I

doctor and she doesn't seem old enough

to be out of school let alone married

I'm sure you can find things to talk

about Olli

Patridge was not trying hard enough

there know how hard I've tried the other

day she asked me if I liked the police

on the peculiar question I thought and

she told me about some chap named sting

in that I knew what she was talking

about it's impossible they inhabit

entirely different universes she's a

delightful girl dolly she gets prettier

by the day it alarms me sometimes anyway

he's going to produce beautiful children

and be a wonderful mother

just trust me darling I love you and I'm

here for you always and always all the

listening and the talking you could

possibly need so you really seriously

think I should

you know I do darling

HRH is very fond of my wife hears that

she is very fond of him

verify your Cap'n sorry banana it's cool

laying down your wife for your country

the least I can do after all

can you can you find the words to

describe how you feel today

difficult fine words in a way isn't it

really just your life isn't happy I'm

amazed she's been brave enough to take

me off

I suppose you're in love of course

whatever in love means you love to be

the right interpretation or leads were

two very happy people yes we are as you

can see

world is clearly gone insane

just keep your pecker up Charles only a

few more days and then then all the fun

and romance will be over and you'll be

just another boring married couple

so things disastrously out of control

what should I do Wow it's a bit late to

cut and run the cathedrals already

booked my mass sent out two and a half

thousand invitations there's nothing you

can do chance just close your eyes think

of England

a bizarre-o world has fallen so deeply

in love with my sweet little fiancee

when one does what they would think if

they saw in their less sweet in

reasonable moments some people might say

she's had good reason to be provoked

that be wrong and once I married I fully

intend to honor my marriage vows be a

loyal and faithful husband well Andrew

will be pleased

not necessarily my absence will mean he

has to take his marriage duties

considerably more seriously oh dear

still we'll have to play the hand were

dealt don't we why can't you be honest

with me I am being honest with you it's

for Camilla I said it was for Camilla I

know it's for Camilla it says on the

package but what did you ask Santa for

please don't shout there's really no

need to tell me I really don't have to

tell you everything we are very

different ideas about marriage I'm

afraid I don't accept the marriage means

had to sacrifice every last little

vestige of privacy invasions of privacy

and you just say um regardless do you

have any idea what I've been through all

had to put up with intrusions into our

privacy recently Gardner shouldn't mean

the press I'm talking about rather more

intimate things about having to prove to

the bloody doctor that I've kept myself

neat and tidy for you

Oh from the gun show lettuce and Fred

they're two characters in the gun show

they're just nicknames Manila I had for

one another the sort of thing you have

between friends you know hopefully in a

secrecy right so what was the point in

buying her a girl bracelet and having it

engraved and sending it to her now to

thank her to thank her for what because

she's an intimate and dear friend and

she's always been there for me even

through my most difficult time

inappropriate Charles how dare you tell

me what's inappropriate I don't want you

to see her again no one tells me who I

can and cannot see you talk to her love

you hear what I said

I refuse to be cross-questioned like

this it's intolerable it promise me you

won't see her again that's all don't be

absurd the parker-bowles is a part of

our set it's inevitable that we continue

to see them you love me at all you've

got to promise me give me the bracelet I

won't go through with it

if you don't promise me I'll cancel the

wedding I mean it

naturally my relationship with commander

will change after we married I thought I

made that quite clear

I need to see you tight no now I'll be

on the cake I get it honey my disusing

no I'm sure they won't mind us using it

tell them it's the last time we will

it's lovely good does it really have to

be the last time don't imagine I want it

to be no I know you're quite right so

how is the bride to be it's like walking

on glass one has to tread over said

bloody carefully whatever it is that she

needs I certainly don't seem to be

giving it I'm sure you are darling

unfortunately not very clearly not I

can't imagine how you've put up with it

these last few months the whole thing I

mean especially being on show like that

what up with it I thinking of you you're

so brave I'm so proud of you I'd never

have survived the five seconds I

sometimes think I shan't either thinking

me wrong not gonna bottle it it's far

too late for that

Oh God

just imagine if I did he'll be fine

Dudley just wait till you're married in

fact I know exactly what's going to

happen you're going to go off on your

honeymoon and you're going to fall head

over heels for her you won't be able to

get enough of her you will end up

besotted just like the rest of the world

you won't be interested anymore in your

frosty old ex-mistress what if she came

begging probably

thing is yours any woman I've ever

really loved in my life

so no one else could ever take your

place which is appalling bad luck for

Diana or anyone else for that matter

what are we getting in a state about

really this is what we always knew what

happened general father said

he'd give it five years if it doesn't

work out then take alternative measures

of course it'll work you've got to give

it a chance done I know more than a

chance it can't be allowed not to work

no a far far better thing he said that

was a Tennyson or Shakespeare God knows

I thought it was Eccles or Blue Bottle I

wish I was a literary genius like you

darling do you know me I had trouble

getting through black beauty you are a

genius

no I'm not I'm really very stupid you

know I am in fact I've never achieved

anything in my whole life cept for

laughing you I suppose what a very great

it of course a greater achievement could

anyone possibly wish for a knife

easier than falling off a chair done

really

if it Jason gets a shock encounter when

he investigates the death of a gigolo a

touch of frost that's Tuesday at 10:00

coming next

it's a dazzling encounter of the Queen's

40th anniversary in days of majesty

you