Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]

Come on you guys, come on.

Come on, get with the program. Hut, hut, hut!

This better be good, Baker.

What you got us meeting a chopper for?

Come on, hurry, we'll miss it.

We're coming!

All right now, Baker, what is the big deal here?

You'll see. It's a real VIP, I promise.

Who is? It's a big surprise.

You'll see when he gets here.

You guys, come on, come on, come on.

I want you guys lined up right here. All right.

Come on, come on, come on.

I want you guys looking strak too, okay?

What's he doing?

Damn, you guys ought to see yourselves, man.

You look disgusting, okay?

Would you show a little bit of pride?

Am I hearing what I'm hearing?

I know one thing-- this better be

at least a two-star general.

You got that harmonica? What?

Your harmonica. Yeah, yeah.

Come on, get it out. Do you know "Hail to the Chief"?

Yeah, what they play for the president?

Exactly. Let's hear you do it. Come on, come on.

I mean you've got to hum a few bars.

[HUMS "HAIL TO THE CHIEF"]

[PLAYS HARMONICA OFF-KEY]

Geez, that stinks.

[OTHERS LAUGH]

Oh, well excuse me, Baker.

Why don't I just go on back to my tent

and get 76 trombones for you? No, no. Come on.

I really want this to be good, okay?

Can you try it again? Come on, try it again.

[HUMS]

[CONTINUES TO PLAY OFF-KEY]

[HELICOPTER APPROACHING]

That'll have to do.

You think he knows the president?

You kidding?

The only thing he knows is when the surf's up.

What if we had a red carpet to roll out?

Detail, atten-hut.

Come on, music, music--

Hit it! Hit the music.

[PLAYS "HAIL TO THE CHIEF" ON THE HARMONICA]

Cowabunga!

I'm stoked!

Man, give me a bonk!

Check it out, man. I got you something.

Yeah? Yeah.

Oh, man. I didn't get you anything.

I'm sorry.

Oh, man, I'm seeing double.

Man, that's exactly two Bakers more

than this world needs.

Oh! A new skateboard, man.

That's hot.

You guys, look, it's our birthday!

Thanks, man. Let's go.

[CHEERING]

Come on, one more time-- one more time!

[SURF MUSIC PLAYING, CHORUS HARMONIZING]

[CHEERING]

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Whoo-hoo!

California, lieutenant.

Yeah, I'm getting outta here

before I catch it.

Hang 10, sergeant.

So are you guys exactly the same or what?

To tell you the truth, man,

we are exactly opposite, man.

It's true. You know how I eat my health food

and all that stuff? Yeah.

This guy eats Twinkies and Ding Dongs.

You don't even drink, though.

Me, God, I love to drink and party

with sick, twisted young women.

[ALL LAUGH]

See, I'm a lot more experienced than him

and much more sophisticated. I'm oldest by 18 minutes.

Yeah, but I was bigger by three ounces.

Was, Scott, was three ounces bigger.

I think I got the edge on you now.

You don't. No way.

I got 10 pounds on you at least.

I can just tell you've been sloughing off on your workout.

I have been working out religiously, okay?

Even in the field, I've been doing my isometrics.

Okay, you don't believe me? I'll show you.

Percell, Taylor, come here.

[GRUNTING]

I told you I was stronger than you.

Stronger smelling, maybe.

[GRUNTING]

There's only one way to settle this.

That table right over there?

You got it.

Tell you what-- I've got five bucks

on the brother on the right.

You're on, you're on.

I'll take the other guy. Which one are you?

Carl, man.

Okay, Carl.

Percell, man, you're wasting your money.

I will eat this guy for breakfast.

Are you ready?

TAYLOR: Come on!

Come on, Carl. Come on, Baker.

Hey, there's something behind your back, Scott.

Shut up. I'm not falling for that.

No, seriously, that's a lizard.

Come on, Carl. Come on, Baker.

No, really, I'm not joking--

it's a lizard.

It's a lizard crawling right behind you, Scott.

I swear, man.

A lizard?

Yeah, a lizard.

Don't fall for it, Baker.

God, I hate when you do that, man!

BAKER: Come on, man, come on.

Come on, Carl.

I'll kill you, man.

Come on, man.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, my God.

[POTS RATTLING]

Hey, maybe they'll kill each other.

Yeah, that's the way to settle this.

Hey, knock it off!

What's going on?

The battling Baker brothers.

I think this is how they show

they like each other.

[STRUGGLING AND PUNCHING]

Hey, Baker-- where's your brother?

I don't know. He took off a while ago.

What you got there?

A big surprise.

Hey, Taylor. Yo?

You seen Baker's brother, man?

Yeah, I just saw--

I thought I saw Baker over at the motor pool.

No, I'm Baker, man. You must have seen my brother.

You sure? Of course I'm sure.

You think I don't know who I am? Sometimes I wonder.

No, I'm me. The handsome one.

What's my brother doing over at the motor pool?

He said the captain wanted him to drive into Kiha

and pick up something for him. The sergeant must have thought

it was you. He let him split with a deuce and a half.

Why did he do that?

Maybe we ought to ask him.

[BRAKES SCREECH]

What's going on, man?

You stole this truck, huh?

Hey, relax, relax. No harm, no foul.

No, dude, stealing a truck's like--

Relax, okay, relax. I'll explain it.

I'll explain it. But, dude, you just can't--

Listen, listen, you're in with

a pretty good bunch of guys here, right?

Yeah, so?

And they know it's our birthday, right?

And because they're such good guys,

they're probably going to throw a candle

on a c-rat pound cake and call that a birthday party.

Yeah, here it is.

That's really nice, you guys,

and speaking for my brother and I,

we're both really touched...

but a c-rat pound cake,

that just ain't the essential items.

And what exactly are the essential items?

Come on back here.

This here is your essential items--

direct from Mama-san's in fabulous Kiha,

the Baker brothers' gift to the third squad.

Party time.

Oh!

Hi, GIs.

What's your name?

God, what are you, crazy, man?

Do you know how much trouble we could get in for this?

Yeah! Get out of there.

Ow! Get myself some party time!

Man, I don't believe it.

Hey, hey, what's that word that Baker says?

Cowabunga.

Yeah, cowabunga, cowabunga...

God bless this guy. I love this guy.

I love this guy

as much as I used to hate you.

You know, this is

really, really against the rules.

It sure is. Women at a firebase--

it's probably never been done before.

It's against all Army regulations.

Don't you love it?

[SIGHS]

SOLDIER: Number one GI, here. WOMAN: Are you ready?

[PARTY MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey, don't be selfish.

Hey, Baker, why ain't you dancing?

Oh, I don't know how to dance.

[LAUGHS]

Aah!

So where you come from anyway?

The same place as my brother. I just got a head start.

No, man, I'm talking about

where you come from now, before you got here.

Headquarters in Kwinyan.

Rough, huh? In the rear with the gear.

That's how I got to know all the right people in supply.

Get you guys anything you want--

booze, cigarettes... candy bars.

Here you go. I know you like chocolate, Taylor.

Thought I didn't?

And girls.

All right. Hey, let's hear it.

Three cheers for brother Carl--

All right, all right. Quiet!

[WHISPERS] Three cheers for brother Carl.

Hip, hip...

ALL: Hip, hip, hooray!

Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!

[LAUGHING]

You know what? After tonight,

you'll always be a brother to me.

Thanks a lot, brother. Gimme some skin.

Yeah!

Hey, my man. I don't understand.

How does a cool guy like you

have such a doofus brother like Baker?

Freak of Mother Nature, you know?

Brother's a health food freak.

Me, I'm just a freak.

Hey Carl, you know what?

It's a shame I didn't know you

back in Detroit.

Here's to the freak!

[LAUGHING]

Give me that.

[MEN LAUGHING AND TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

MAN 1: Back off!

MAN 2: I ain't been dancing in a while. Watch your feet.

[STRIKES MATCH]

[COUGHS]

I'm not used to tobacco. Those lungs are virgins.

[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

You know, you really shouldn't be out here.

Somebody might see you, you know that?

[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

Are you okay?

I mean, I know it's none of my business,

but are you all right?

[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

Oh, no English, huh?

Why are you crying? Why the tears?

Oh, you don't like the party, huh?

[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

Yeah, hey, I'm no good at parties myself.

[SPEAKING VIETNAMESE]

You know, I got this brother, Carl,

and Carl loves parties,

and that's why the guys,

they naturally like him better than me.

He's just more... Never mind.

Did you know, you're... you're beautiful?

I mean you are really, really pretty...

The prettiest Vietnamese I've ever seen.

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