Original subtitles

[theme music]

-Slow much?

-Jeez, seriously, dude.

You put the tard in tardy.

-[moaning]

-OK, girls.

The quicker we do this, the quicker we go home.

-Going somewhere?

-Uh, you know, sorry.

This car's full.

-I mean, give it up already.

By the way, didn't anyone tell you that

brown is the new black?

-I'll never give up.

-OK.

Time's up.

You've had your fun.

Now it's time to come with us.

-Could these missions get any easier?

-Yeah!

Ew.

Why does the OJ taste like sweaty gym socks?

-Ah!

Nast.

What's up with my toothpaste?

Ugh.

-What happened to the juice?

I need my OJ in the morning.

-Hey, don't look at me.

Someone broke in and switched my mint toothpaste with this

grossy orange goo.

-No one broke in.

I replaced everything in the house with carrot-based items.

-Come again?

-I'm on the new rabbit diet.

-Rabbit diet?

Does this mean you're going to eat nothing but carrots?

-Uh, correction.

She's going to make us eat nothing but carrots.

-It's all the rage north of Sunset.

Did you know one carrot gives you enough energy to walk a

whole mile?

Trust me, girls, carrots are the in veggie.

Everyone who's anyone's eating them.

-Forget it, Alex.

Unless it's diamonds, I don't do carrots.

-But carrots are amazing!

They improve your sight, increase

your jumping ability--

they even cure dandruff.

-OK.

Let me be the first to say, ew.

-Carrots are fine, Al.

But a total carrot regimen is taking things a little too

far, don't you think?

-Check it out.

I'm not even cold.

Did I mention that carrots contain a natural--

antifreeze?

-Yes, Mother, I'll pick you up at the airport.

No, Mother, bringing your own pillow cases isn't necessary.

Yes, Mother.

I'm certain I can pick you up.

No, Mother.

It's no bother.

Goodbye, Mother.

-Rude much?

I mean, hello.

[stuttering]

Freezing here.

-Sorry, girls.

With my mother coming to visit next week, everything's been

rather topsy turvy around here, including the air

conditioning system.

-Didn't bother me.

-Ah.

Much better.

So, what's the 411 on the early AM 911?

-I called you here because I have some fantastic news.

You've all been promoted.

-Promoted?

-Why?

-What's the catch?

-No catch.

You three shall officially leave your junior spy days

behind and join the ranks of WOOHP's most elite secret

agents, which means more danger, more responsibility,

and more missions.

Isn't that exciting?

-Exactly what part of more danger, more responsibility,

and more missions are we supposed to be psyched about?

-Mm, yeah, I understand your concern, but I assure you this

is a wonderful opportunity.

Very few agents ever get to this level.

-I think Jer's right.

It does sound exciting.

-No.

It sounds like we'll be sweating--

a lot.

-But thanks to my new rabbit diet, I'm in

peak physical condition.

-Um--

-Ugh.

Don't get her started, Jer.

Trust me.

-Did you know that carrots are jam packed with vitamin A and

beta-carotene.

Goodness?

-Guess I must have skipped that chapter in

my rabbit diet book.

-Uh oh, half a carrot.

Your carotonic levels are dangerously low, Jer.

There.

That should help.

-I think it's time for you to go.

Good luck.

-Whoa.

Love the Greek chic.

-Oh, [squealing]

it's like being on a reality show, only it's not fake.

-An infinity pool!

A hot tub!

Oh, I could definitely get used to this.

-Good morning, ladies.

My name is Terrance.

I'll be your host during your stay.

-Nice to meet you, Terrance.

-May I escort you to your private rooms?

-Finally I'm getting the perks I so richly deserve.

-I just hope I brought enough carrots.

-[gasp]

-[gasp]

-Wow.

-Pick a door, any door.

Each leads to your own private suite of rooms.

-Wait.

There are four rooms, but only three of us.

-Hey.

-Girls, I'd like to introduce you to your

fellow agent, Dean.

He'll be joining you in your training sessions.

-Allow me, Ter.

My name is Clover, but you can call me Smitten.

-Ladies.

-Oh, this place is too good to be true.

-Ha.

Who knew we'd be mixing business with pleasure?

-It's about to get better.

-Ah!

-Oh!

-We've been invited to dinner!

-Not just dinner-- a black tie gala.

-Wait.

I can't go.

I don't have anything formal to wear.

-[gasp]

-[gasp]

-Awesome.

-Help yourself to whatever you need.

Extension three is for the tailor.

-That settles it.

I am never leaving.

-Be downstairs at 8 PM sharp, and don't be late.

Your instructors will be waiting.

-We'll be there with couture on.

-Personally, I can't wait to start our super spy training.

-Mmm.

-I don't understand.

I thought we were here to meet our instructors.

-You are.

Please have a seat.

-What's with the trays?

-I bet it's some delicious gourmet meal with a name I

can't pronounce.

-Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's open them and find out.

-Ooh.

-[gasp]

You're giving us jewelry?

-Is it me, or does this night just keep

getting better and better.

-Spies, meet your instructors.

Go on.

Open them.

-Welcome.

-Hello.

-Greetings.

-Pleasure to meet you.

-Throughout your training, they will be

your guides and mentors.

Your lockets summon them when needed.

-Oh, I get it.

The lockets project who we really are inside.

-I think you're spot on, Clover.

-Hey.

-What's that supposed to mean?

-[clearing throat]

Now that you've met your instructors, training will

begin immediately.

-But what about the gourmet dinner I can't pronounce and

my designer outfit?

-Center yourself.

Forget your hunger.

Right now, you've got work to do.

-This is the top secret WOOHP training facility?

I was expecting something a little more--

high tech.

Cool!

-Welcome to training.

You four are here because you're the chosen ones.

-[laughing]

Chosen ones?

-Sorry.

We thought you were kidding.

-This is no joke.

And you becoming spies was no accident.

-Whoa.

Is that really me?

-We've been watching you since birth.

-Ah.

-Oh, Sammy.

You are so cute.

-Your affinity for gadgets and ability to problem-solve were

apparent from a very early age.

-Oh.

[giggling]

Even back then I was boy crazy.

-More importantly, your spying abilities and observational

skills were light years ahead of your time.

-Speaking of observation skills, how did

WOOHP spy on me?

Ew.

Camotastic.

Talk about being light years ahead of your time--

style-wise.

-Hey!

-Nice run, boy.

You're as quick as a jackrabbit.

-I can't believe I was rabbit-esque even back then.

-Your athletic prowess and ability to disguise yourself

didn't go unnoticed.

-What about Dean?

-Dean was the most advanced of all.

He was chosen the day he was born.

-[gasping]

Ah.

-Huh?

-Dean's intelligence and natural fighting skills were

clearly exemplary.

-Martial arts hottie even as a baby?

I think I'm in love.

-Move over.

I saw him first.

-No you didn't.

We all saw him at the same time.

-Ladies, please.

There's enough Dean to go around.

-Yes ladies, please.

It's time to focus.

Run Super Spy Sim One.

-Let the virtual training begin.

-This is like my worst third grade gymnastics

nightmare come true.

-Don't worry, Clover.

We're the chosen ones.

Everything's going to be fine.

-Your first mission--

make it across the ravine without falling.

-Duh.

Thanks.

I think we got that.

-So, who wants to go first?

-With rabbit power on my side, I should be able to

hop across no probs.

-As soon as you say no probs, there's always probs.

-I am really getting the hang of this.

Piece of cake.

The secret is not to--

[gasp]

look down.

-Gotcha.

-How are we supposed to make it across?

-Super spy rule number one--

evaluate your fear factor and manipulate it.

-Wait.

I've got it.

-You've got what?

-This is a mind over matter exercise.

All we have to do is close our eyes and imagine that the

ravine isn't so steep.

-Oh.

-Way to control your mind, super spies!

-Where are we?

-And why are we wearing blindfolds?

-Maybe it's something fun, like a game of Pin the Tail on

the Donkey or a pinata.

-Doubt it.

In fact, I have a sinking suspicion that whatever it is,

it's not good.

-What are we supposed to do here?

You know, other than get our butts kicked.

-Super spy rule number two.

You must have faith in your intuition.

-My intuition is saying--

hey, that's it.

We don't need sight, just our spy instincts.

-Good thinking, Alex.

-Talk about an unfair site advantage.

-If I wasn't wearing this stupid blindfold, I'd be

unstoppable with my new rabbit vision.

-Cover, on your right.

A little too close for comfort.

Nice job.

-Your final mission--

get across the river to the other side.

-If you had all gone on the rabbit diet with me, we could

have just jumped across.

-You must use the boat provided.

Plus, there are a few cases.

-Ugh.

Naturally.

-One.

Dean must always be in the boat.

Two.

There's only room for Dean and one other spy in the boat.

Three.

Clover and Alex can't be left alone together.

Four.

Sam and Alex can't be left alone together.

Understand?

-Yeah.

I understand.

Those are the most confusing rules I've ever heard.

-You've got three minutes.

-OK.

What if I take Clover across, then return for

Alex, then take Sam?

-But Alex and I will be alone together while

you take Clover across.

-And I'll be alone with Clover while you go back for Sam.

-I've got it.

First, Dean will take Alex across.

Then he'll go back and pick me up.

He'll leave me on the other side but take

Alex back with him.

Then he'll leave Alex there while taking Sam across.

Finally, he'll return for Alex.

It's a simple teamwork exercise.

-Clover, that was amazing.

-All those years spent figuring out how to pay for

designer clothes on layaway were bound to pay off

eventually.

-Come on, spies.

Let's do it.

-[panting]

-You've reached the end of your training day.

Congratulations.

-[yawning]

Oh, I can't remember the last time I was this

tired or this sore.

-I guess it comes with being the chosen ones.

-Well, this chose one had better get some room service

on the double.

-I hear the carrot cake's delic--

ah!

-Whoa!

-What now?

-Earthquake.

Head for cover.

-Terence, are you there?

-Speaking as an LA native, this is the longest earthquake

I've ever felt.

-We better check it out.

-What could be making the house shake like this?

-That's better.

At least now I can think.

-[gasp]

I don't think I like the sound of that.

-The walls are closing in on us!

-Don't panic.

Maybe this is still part of our training.

-The instructors aren't responding.

Let's try the doors and windows.

Everything's locked.

We're trapped!

-Worse than that.

We're about to be crushed!

-Let's try wedging that curtain rod between the walls.

-You guys OK?

-I never was any good at redecorating.

-Let's do this!

-On the count of three.

One, two, lift!

-Phew.

That was close.

-Remember spies, evaluate your fear factor and manipulate it!

-Look.

A skylight.

Maybe we can use it to escape.

-It's over 30 feet up!

-I never thought the day would come when I'd wish for Jerry's

Turbo 9000 Garden Hose Expandable Ladder.

-If we break that water pipe, the room will flood and we can

float up to the top.

-Great thinking, Dean.

Get back.

-What's happening?

-The water must have caused a short circuit.

-Remember, let your spy intuition be your eyes.

-[coughing]

That's the second time you saved my life, Dean.

You're the best.

-Just doing my job.

-Hello!

I practically invented damsel in distress.

-[laughing]

-Hello!

We're about to be spy pancakes, here!

-This will never work.

We need leverage.

-Remember, we've got to use teamwork.

Let's put our heads together.

-Better yet, let's put our bodies together.

We can form a human chain under the water.

It may gives us the leverage we need to open the skylight.

-Almost there!

Just a little more.

Ah, got it!

-That was some pretty amazing teamwork.

-Speaking of team, where's Dean?

-[gasp]

What if he's still down there?

-Then we've got to save him.

-[screaming]

-What's going on?

The ballroom's normal again.

-I don't know, but this spy's not going to stick

around to find out.

-I second that.

Let's get out of here.

-Lay low.

Our only chance to find Dean is to get out of

here and call Jerry.

-We've been detected.

Run!

-Terence.

-Is everything all right, girls?

-No.

Everything is not all right.

Where have you been?

-I retired early.

But when I couldn't sleep, I thought a nice walk would

tucker me out.

[yawning]

Looks like it worked.

-You mean you didn't notice the earthquake that rocked the

entire mansion?

-Earthquake?

-Or the flooding ballroom where we almost drowned?

-Flooding ballroom?

Oh, my.

-Or Dean's bizarre disappearance into thin air,

or, rather, water?

How long was your walk?

-It sounds like you girls have had quite a night.

But don't worry.

I know where Dean is.

Would you like to see him?

-Dean!

-You see?

Dean is fine--

at least he will be fine if you do as I say.

-Stop!

You're hurting him!

-[laughing]

You see, the closer you get to Dean, the tighter the lucite's

grip on him gets.

-Ugh.

Did all those years of fetching towels in room

service finally make you snap?

-(ANGRILY) You have no idea what it's like

always being second.

Nothing Terence did was ever good enough.

Well, that's all going to change starting now, mates.

Now, if you want to prevent your fellow chosen one from

getting crushed, I suggest you do as I say.

-OK.

What do you want?

-I'm sorry I had to interrupt your training and dispose of

your instructors.

But I have a mission for you.

You three will eliminate Jerry.

-Yeah, right.

Like we'd ever hurt Jerry.

-Besides, what did Jerry ever do to you, anyway?

-That's for me to know and you to find out.

After you eliminate him, you'll retrieve the microchip

he keeps hidden under the large birthmark on his neck

and return it to me.

I'll be watching your every move.

Try any funny business and you'll never see your good

friend Dean again.

-Don't worry, Dean.

We won't let you down.

-There's a chopper waiting for you.

Say goodbye to Jerry for me.