Original subtitles

[theme song]

[surfers laughing]

-Suh-weet!

-Tuh-otally!

-Dude, that is the gnarliest [? wave ?]

we're getting all day.

Better book back to shore.

[thunderclap]

SURFER (OFFSCREEN): Not sweet!

Totally sour!

The shore's, like, slipping away!

[screams]

[school bell ringing]

-What's up with the line?

-Ooh!

Maybe it's a casting call for a cool new

teen talent TV show!

This could be my lucky break.

-Something tells me that whatever it is--

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Next!

-Clover is behind it.

-Just so you understand, I'm looking for someone who

understands my needs without understanding

what those needs are.

Understood?

-I--

I think so.

-You think?

Sorry.

Not looking for thinkers.

Looking for doers.

Next!

You guys want to apply to be my personal assistant?

-Since when do you need a personal assistant?

-Someone has to array my disarrayed schedule of school

work, shopping, and hottie sharking.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a lineup of freshman girls

to interview.

Next!

-[grunt]

-Your search is over!

I--

-Way too pushy.

Next.

Now Terra, is it?

Here's the 411.

The job pays approximately nothing, but you will earn

priceless life experience and valuable fashion tips.

-That sounds great, but I'm sure you don't want someone

why like me.

After all, you are the prettiest and most popular

girl in school.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Ooh!

Hired!

-In ancient Greek civilization, slaves tended to

their masters not only as domestic servants, but as

agricultural workers, mine workers, as it were, et

cetera, et cetera.

-Note takers.

-Hmm.

Not bad, but next time, please dot my eyes with a heart.

I love that hoodie.

And that belly shirt is the cutest ever!

And could those cargos be any cooler?

Time to try them on.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Ooh!

Ugh.

OK, eew.

Ugh.

[gasp]

Whoa!

I didn't tell Terra to do that.

-Wow, what's wrong, Clover?

Has your go-getter gotten up and left?

-No.

I'm just going over the stuff Terra wrote in my diary.

-She's writing your diary?

Could you be any lazier?

-Hold that thought.

Uh, memo to Terra.

If this working out for me is going to work out for me, I'm

going to need to see some sweat.

Thanks, hon.

-Anything you say, Clover.

-Don't you think you're taking advantage of that poor girl?

-Terra's loving her new gig.

She's been looking for a mentor just like me.

-Was that mentor or tormentor?

-Speaking of tormenting, get ready to land on your--

pillow?

[uncertain noises]

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): A cushioned WOOHPing?

-New age music, dim lighting, and incense?

OK, Jerry, what is up?

-What's up?

My energy lines, which have been able to flow with my

inner chi, all thanks to feng shui.

-Huh?

-Fang who?

-Feng shui.

It's a means of arranging an environment to

enhance well being.

-Come on, Jer.

FS is so 2002.

-Correction--

3002, which is how long feng shui has been practiced.

-Girls, meet my feng shui guru, Yin Yang.

-Your skepticism is understandable.

Even Jerry was doubtful at first.

Then I showed him how to achieve balance in both his

life and the WOOHP work environment.

-OK, silk bathrobes and ponytails for men?

-According to feng shui, everything is alive.

People, buildings, that desk, even your clothes.

-Aah!

My skirt's alive?

-Yin Yang means everything around us has

a life force energy.

This is why I've changed myself and my office to keep

this energy fresh and alive.

-Ha ha.

Of course, the most important thing that needs

changing is the world.

-Um, Jerry, before we change the world, don't you have a

save-the-world type mission for us?

-For now, your mission is to mellow out,

just like GLADIS has.

Inner-childlike expandable teddy bear, life force magnet

necklace, and a holistic healing bracelet.

use them with love.

-You call those weapons?

-No.

I call them instruments of life preservation.

[beeping]

[gasps]

-Um, speaking of life preservation, I think there

might be a major earthquake somewhere.

Your seismograph's out of control!

-Merely a part of the earth's natural harmony, right Jerry?

-Right.

Now girls, go and illuminate your path to self discovery.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Uh--

-This new shiny, happy Jer is totally creepy.

-Yeah, and that seismic situation needs some

investigating.

Let's roll!

[helicopter noises]

-Alex, this is so not the time for dirty looks.

Hello, flying.

-I'm sorry.

It's just that I'm so used to seeing Terra doing your dirty

work.

-She's got dirtier work--

my laundry.

-Guys, focus.

The X-Powder has tracked the seismic center off the coast

of New Zealand, where land meets water.

-OK, that's freaky.

Whoever's guarding the coast is not doing their job.

-What are you talking about?

-I'm talking about the coastline.

It's supposed to be like, right here, but it's so not.

[sheep baaing]

-Whoa!

-That's cause it's floating in the middle of the ocean!

-That's not cool.

We better call Jerry.

-Feng shui seminar in session.

Peace be with you.

-Looks like we're on our own.

-Wait!

Shouldn't we change into something more undercover

safari chic?

-Uh.

-Cool!

[rumbling]

-Please tell me that's somebody's stomach.

-Aah!

[screaming]

-Hang on!

-You think?

-Clover!

-Oh, nice grab, Clover!

-Almost there!

If only this earth will-- (SHOUTING) help!

-This human chain is gonna break.

I need something sturdier!

-How about that metal cable thingy?

-Metal cable thingy?

How'd that get there?

-Who cares?

Just grab it!

-OK.

But how are we going to reach the cable?

-The-- the life force magnet necklace!

Maybe it'll attract the metal, but I kind of need my other

hand.

-So do we!

-We don't have a choice.

Clover, give it a shot.

Alex, jump!

-Magnetism rules!

Jump back on, guys.

-Sure it's gonna hold us?

-Kinda.

-Good enough!

[shouting]

-That earth-crumpling thing is so going to hurt tourism

around here.

Of course, they do have cable TV.

Whoa!

(SCREAMING) Whoa!

-Clover!

-An uninhabited island with underground cables?

Somebody put it there for a reason, but who, and why?

-No time to wait for the mystery cable guy!

[gasps]

-On a Richter scale of 1 to 10, I'd rate

that island an 11.

-Uh, what island?

[screaming]

-I can't believe we flew all the way around the world and

all we brought back was this piece of cable.

-Maybe it's more than that.

I'll try and trace the origins with the X-Powder.

-Works for me.

All I want to do is crash on the couch.

OK, who moved our couch?

[gasps]

-I'm thinking it's the same person who moved all our other

stuff.

-Terra!

-Oh, hello Clover, Clover's friends.

-Clover's friends are about to be your worst enemy.

-What did you do with all our furniture?

-I didn't do anything in here.

But I did reorganize your entire closet by size, color,

and seasonal appropriateness.

-Uh, wait a sec.

Is that my sundress?

-Don't be silly.

Why would I wear your dress when I could wear my own?

I bought all the same outfits you have.

And makeup, and hair products, and--

-Enough ands.

-OK.

I've just got one last thing to take care of.

-Clover, your personal assistant's

getting way too personal.

It's super creepy.

-Almost as super creepy as someone moving our furniture.

I'm calling Jerry.

-Hello.

Are we celebrating the rebirth of our personal space?

Yin Yang and I decided to harmonize your living area.

-Uh, Jer?

Are you OK?

-I am at one with the Earth.

-Yeah, about the Earth.

We checked out the weird seismic activity.

-Sorry, but I'm due to have my chakras aligned.

-Forget his chakras.

How about aligning his brain?

-It's the cable analysis.

Says here, it's made of interwoven steel, with a high

content of soy extract.

How weird is that?

-Not as weird as that.

-Aah!

-You like my hair?

-You mean my hair?

Uh, look, Terra.

Why don't you take the rest of the day off, OK?

-Cool.

See ya.

-And so want to be ya.

-I wanted someone to help me, not be me.

What am I going to do?

-We're going to go back to the South Pacific.

Turns out there's been a mega large shipment of that metal

cable material sent to an uncharted island.

-No sign of an uncharted island yet!

-Keep your eyes open.

We should be getting close.

Look out!

[screaming]

-I think we found it.

-The ground seems stable here.

In fact, this place is really peaceful.

-Peaceful, but not natural.

Kind of like that tropical island restaurant in the mall.

Huh?

Huh?

-Love the robe look.

It says, I'm relaxed and casual.

I'm free to--

run!

-Phew!

I reek like lavender.

-Maybe your stench will stop them.

-No time to find out.

Let's go!

-Easy for you to say.

I'm stuck!

-We all are.

I think it's quicksand!

-Duh!

[sounds of struggle]

[screaming]

-Ugh.

-Where are we?

-You are at my feng shui island retreat headquarters.

-Yin Yang!

-Please tell me this is some freaky feng shui

not-so-practical joke.

-Bringing about world peace is no joke.

-How is making the blood rush to our heads going to bring

about world peace?

-Without your interference, I'll to complete the

installation of cables in land masses all over the world.

Heh heh.

Think of it as a continental shift in consciousness.

-So that's why you became Jerry's guru?

-Yes.

By controlling Jerry's mind, the WOOHP organization--

present company included--

nothing will stop my new world design.

[evil laughter]

-But rearranging the continents

will destroy the planet!

-You worry too much.

A soak in a pool of my mellowing tea will remove your

fears of my new natural world order.

-I gotta admit, for an evil world wrecker, Yin Yang is

pretty nice.

Uh.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Eew!

[screams]

-Yeah, nice enough to drop us into boiling water.

[evil laughter]

-This feng shui stuff is so not fun!

My inner chi is about to be scalded by steaming chi!

-And those new weapons happy-go-GLADIS gave us aren't

going to help!

-Farewell, useless bear!

-Whoa!

More like useful, expandable bear!

-Yeah!

We're saved!

Teatime is so over.

-We've go to find Yin Yang before he has his feng shui

with the world!

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Whoa!

If that's nature, I'll keep my distance, thank you very much.

[inaudible]

-Let's see how my worldwide

humanitarian efforts are faring.

[evil chuckle]

Seeing the Earth move really moves me.

They're still floating around!

Well, it's time to drown their sorrows.

[screaming]

[evil laughter]

-OK, I didn't see that coming.

-Neither did Yin Yang.

How did he do that?

-My superior level of consciousness has

given me a third eye.

A camera eye.

This camera feeds a signal into my specially designed

contact lens, allowing me see all.

-Three against one, we could beat him with our eyes closed.

Or his eyes closed.

Hi-yah!

[million-dollar man noise]

-My eye sees all!

Huh?

-Aah!

-Oh no-- more nature.

[screaming]

-We've got to get him out of there.

[gasp]

-Uh oh.

I didn't see that coming.

-First I let you into WOOHP Headquarters, and then you

hypnotize me with that third eye.

How could I be so irresponsible?

-Ah, it's nice to have the old, uptight Jerry back.

-Nice job, spies.

You'll be happy to know that WOOHP agents are returning the

land masses to their rightful place.

-Oh well.

There goes that walk to Paris for a quick shop.

-So is today the day your personal assistant gets the

boot?

-I think I'm going to take Terra under my wing and teach

her that the key to popularity is to be your own person.

-Speaking of popularity, who's in the middle of

that mass of people?

-So I'm all like totally, and she's all like, whatever.

-(LAUGHING) You're the coolest, Terra.

-Of course she's the coolest.

She's me!

Next thing you know, she'll be hiring her

own personal assistant.

-Sorry, people.

I've got personal assistants to interview.

-No you don't!

If you want to stay on top, I am the only VIP cool enough to

be your PA.

Anybody wants to talk to Terra talks to me first!

Line up!

-Aww, Clover, nobody can ever be a better Clover than you.

-Yeah.

You'll always be the coolest BF ever.

-Thanks, guys.

Besides, with Mandy helping her, Terra's 15 minutes of

popularity is so over.

[terra crying]

[laughing]

-Yin Yang might be a master whacko, but feng shui is

totally good for absolute calm.

And hello.

When your gig is being an international super spy, a

little bit of relaxation can go a long way.

Hey, I can hear you in my closet, Alex!

Hands off the new platforms!

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): I was just looking!

-Total relaxation.