Original subtitles

[beeping]

[theme music]

[music playing]

-[russian accent]

That's impossible!

[bell ringing]

-So are we studying tonight, Sam?

-Sounds great.

Remember to bring your books, your pencils, and some popcorn

and a movie.

-A movie?

Great!

What time should I be there?

-Hola, amigos.

Everyone, this is Juan.

He's a transfer student from Spain.

-What is it, a new flavor of fat free foyo?

-Juan is the captain of the jai alai team.

Not only is he majorly cute and athletic, but he doesn't

speak any English!

In a word, he's perfect.

-I'm so happy for you guys.

Your honeys are such hotties.

-Oh, cheer up, Alex.

You'll find a nice guy.

-Yeah.

He could be just around the corner.

-Uh.

-Oh.

-Ohhh!

-Uhh!

Wow!

Uh, hi.

I'm available.

I mean, I'm Alex.

-Ow!

-Ah!

Guess I'm just meant to be alone.

Don't worry about me.

You can go back to your boyfriends.

JUAN (OFFSCREEN): Hey!

-OK?

-OK.

-Who needs a boyfriend, anyway?

I can stand on my own two feet.

I don't need a-- waaaa!

Uh--

-Uh, sorry.

It just keeps getting worse and worse.

-I know how you feel.

Reminds me of a poem.

[music playing]

-Her hair was dark, like dead tree's bark.

Feel the pain.

[crow cawing]

-A whooping crane.

-Wow.

That was so--

deep?

-I knew you'd understand.

You should come to our poetry club.

We call ourselves The Somber Society.

We're having a meeting in the school basement.

-Hey, that sounds like fun.

I mean, it sounds sad and poetic.

-Buenos tardes, Juan.

[gasps]

-Hey, guys.

This is Seth.

He took me to his poetry club.

[music playing]

-Like a flower floating in a sewer, my

heart reeks for Alex.

-That is such a thoughtful poem.

Mind if we borrow Alex for a sec?

-I guess I'll be waiting over here.

Eternally alone.

-OK, I know you want a boyfriend, but you could be a

little pickier.

-This poem will explain it all.

Seth wrote it for me.

[music playing]

-My world was empty.

Oh, world of garbage.

Blech to you!

-Whoa!

[yelling]

-Ew!

-Yechh!

-Oh, hello, girls.

I'm afraid we have a major crisis on our hands.

-Uh!

And I have someone's lunch on my hands.

Couldn't you come up with a less disgusting way to get us

here?

-Yeah!

-Luckily, I've been programmed to enforce WOOHP's high

standards of hygiene.

-In the past two weeks, four high security military bases

have been infiltrated.

What makes this case so sensitive is that the bases

are in different countries--

the United States, China, France, and Russia.

If we don't solve this case soon, the nations involved may

start blaming each other.

-So.

Once again, the fate of the world is in our hands.

-Good thing those hands are clean.

Now come get your gadgets.

Flashlight rings, recently equipped with a revelation

beam that can illuminate things that the human eye

can't see.

-Maybe we can use it to find out what Alex could possibly

see an poetry boy.

-Extendable rod mascara.

It's waterproof, and it can throw a net 20 yards.

This ode de grenade releases super-concentrated essence of

sweet Egyptian rose hip.

-And the piece de resistance, high density breath freshener.

-Oh, yeah.

And that's in case the bad guys force us to eat really

garlickey pizza?

-Very funny.

When combined with the heat of a human mouth, this spray

produces a massive spearmint-scented smokescreen.

-Any questions?

-What happens to the souls of dead flowers?

-I'll have to look into that one.

One more thing.

Russian soldiers don't dress like that.

-Got it covered.

-Excellent.

Now go and save the world, spies.

-Let's do it!

[yawning]

-Oh!

This place is cold, like the rest of the empty, uncaring

universe we live in.

Oh, not bad!

-Uh!

Get over yourself, goth girl.

-Let's tap into their surveillance system.

-Uh, what's with that glowing blob?

-I don't know.

But whatever it was, it went this way.

-I'm not going out there.

What if someone sees me in this unflattering outfit?

-Hmm.

Whoa.

Huh--

-It's some sort of biological residue.

Let's see what Jerry makes of this.

-At least we can follow the trail inside and warm our

feet, if not our frozen souls.

-Come on!

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Look!

-It seems like the intruder know exactly what it was

looking for.

-Computers.

Spiritless, heartless computers.

Just like Mother Nature.

Hey!

Think Seth will like that one?

-Looks like the intruder was small enough to crawl in here

and steal memory chips.

-No wonder the soldiers couldn't stop it.

They probably couldn't see it.

[alarm]

-What is this, some sort of Russian disco?

-What was that!

-Uh oh.

-Something that doesn't want us here!

[buzzing]

-Ahhh!

Hi ya!

-This thing isn't fighting fair!

-Time to even the odds!

Gotcha!

-Don't gotcha!

-Ahhh!

-Like life itself, what just happened here is a dark,

brooding mystery.

-Nice work, Alex.

Your poetry drove the attacker away.

[footsteps approaching]

-We better get outta here!

-Get em!

-Hey!

-Woo hoo!

-The world is in danger, yet we sit here, waiting.

Waiting for a beautiful demise.

-What else can we do?

We don't even know what attacked us at

the military base.

[phone beeping]

-Hola, Juan.

You what?

Ahh!

He said "te quiero." He loves me.

-How sweet!

Aaron once told me that I was the Einstein of beauty.

-Hey, Alex, what's the most romantic thing Seth has ever

said to you?

-Um, let me see.

-I need more black paint to finish your walls.

-I'll get some.

Thanks for darkening my life.

-Uh, OK.

Time for an intervention.

-Alex, this goth stuff is so not you.

-Clover is right.

I mean, no offence, but black is definitely not your color.

-Huh?

Ugh!

-Ahh!

Cockroaches!

-Oh!

Echh!

Gross!

-Seth probably brought them over!

-Yeah, he's so depressing that only bugs will hang out with

him.

-He's a gritty suburban poet with darkly delicate

sensibilities!

He's not a slob.

-Whoa!

-Sorry, Alex, I spilled some--

huh?

She's gone.

Oh, I knew she'd leave me.

Why must I suffer so for my art?

-Hmmm.

[yelling]

-Thanks, Jere.

You just rescued us from a swarm of roaches.

-Well, don't look now, girls, but I think you were tailed.

-Yechh!

-G.L.A.D.I.S.?

-Come to momma.

Analyzing.

The roach matches the residue collected at

the military base.

-That means the memory chips were stolen by bugs?

-Strange, but apparently true.

This footage was taken outside the military base on the night

of the break in.

The van was rented by a pest control expert named Max

Exterminis.

I suggest you girls visit his headquarters.

-Um, how about we just instant message the guy?

-Ahem.

-Please?

I really hate bugs.

-Then no doubt you'll enjoy fighting them.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Eww!

-Echh!

Maybe we can find a clue that will tell us why an

exterminator needs military secrets.

Give me some light.

-Got it!

-Eww.

OK, I've seen enough.

There's nothing here.

Can we please leave?

-Maybe there's something in--

[gasps]

-Hard to imagine how this could get any more disgusting.

Ugh!

[screams]

-Ah!

Oh!

Eeek!

Ugh!

[screams]

[buzzing]

-It's almost like someone trained these bugs!

-They definitely don't want us anywhere near that computer.

-Ahh!

It's a blizzard of bugs!

-We need to see what's on the computer!

-He's been working on some kind of genetic code.

-But I thought he was stealing military secrets.

-There's got to be a connection somewhere.

-Guys?

I suggest you look down.

-Are those termites?

-Ahh!

-This is mega weird.

It looks like a hotel room.

-The room service menu is blank.

-Ugh!

Echh!

Guys?

-It's like we're in a human-sized roach motel.

-Welcome to my humble insectarium.

-Looks like we found our exterminator.

-Yes.

I once was an exterminator, but it was a waste of time.

I realized I couldn't kill all of the bugs in my

neighborhood, never mind all of the bugs in the world.

And since I couldn't beat them--

-Oh, let me guess you joined them.

-No!

I lead them!

[laughing]

-I found a way to synthesize insect DNA with human DNA.

I've been injecting myself with it.

Since bugs respect size, I have

become king of the insects!

-Charming.

You must be a real it with the ladies.

-So you had the bugs you control break into the

military installations.

-My swarm has stolen top secret data that has allowed

me to create a bug venom-filled rocket!

-That reminds me of a poem.

Your venom fills my world.

My world is venomized.

-When I disperse the venom into the Earth's jet stream,

the only survivors will be my bugs.

And me!

[laughing]

-But every king needs a queen.

You remind me of the queen of all insects,

the black widow spider.

You're dark, leggy, and I'm sure quite dangerous.

-It's just a look I'm trying out to impress a boy.

Uhh!

Ahhh!

-This is my bug maker.

It injects mega doses of insect DNA to reconstruct your

biochemistry.

Soon you'll be my insect queen!

-Guys!

I could really use some help here!

-Hey, pick on someone from your own species!

-You know, I've been so busy today, I

forgot to feed my bugs.

So why don't you too feed them for me?

Dig in, my friends!

-Let me go!

Starting to feel weird--

-We've got our own problems, Alex!

Man, I really hate bugs.

-Well, we don't like you, either.

-Ohhh!

-Ahhhhh!

-I've dreamt of this night for a long time.

Soon we will control every insect in the world!

[laughing]

-We've got to get out of here before we become a bug buffet.

Wait!

I have an idea.

-Nice throw, Sam.

You totally missed them.

-No I didn't.

Bugs are attracted to sweet smells.

It'll distract them long enough for us

to get out of here.

-Wait!

My boots!

-Those were limited edition Vespucci's!

WOOHP better replace them.

-I'll tell you what.

First we get Alex, then we save the world, then we think

about getting you some new boots!

EXTERMINUS (OFFSCREEN): The time has come, my swarm.

Soon the world will be ours!

[laughing]

-Let me go, maggot breath!

-Don't fight it.

One day, we'll tell our larvae about how we met.

-Please, get that image out of my head.

-Exterminate them!

-In coming!

-We could use a really big fly swatter right now!

-Excuse me, my queen.

I have to go destroy the real pests.

-Don't leave me!

Don't leave me!

That's no way to treat your queen!

-If we stay in here any longer, we're going to get a

major case of cooties!

-Yeah!

There's not enough time to battle them all!

We'll have to outfly them.

-If you were meant to fly, you'd have wings.

Ahhhh!

-Don't worry, I got your back.

-Don't worry, my brood.

Nothing shall stop us from ruling this world.

In a few moments, we shall unleash the venom.

-What!

Do you know how long this is going to take to wax?

-Don't fret, my queen.

All bugs have hairy legs.

-Then you better turn me back!

-But you're perfect the way you are.

-A couple says ago, I was just about desperate enough to fall

for a line like that one.

-Good news.

In a few seconds, we'll be over some huge, abandoned

nickle mines.

-It's time to get rid of Max and his rocket before he

releases that bug venom into the air.

-Hold on, I have an idea.

-Don't worry, my swarm.

We're so close.

Stay on target.

We're almost at the jet stream!

-I just remembered something.

Bugs hate smoke.

It disorients them.

-Hey, Alex!

You should really do something about your

"bug breath!" -Here!

-Hey, Max.

How can I be your queen if we haven't even kissed yet?

-Ohhh!

Ohh!

[coughing]

What have you done, my queen?

-Get this straight, bug boy.

I am so not your queen.

And if I were you, I'd think about dropping a bomb.

-No!

I won't let go of my precious rocket!

This is my life's work!

-All right!

-Yee ha!

Bullseye!

-Eww!

Talk about combination skin.

-I was once your queen, you know.

-Hey, we just saw Seth over at the mall.

How come he doesn't come around anymore?

-Uh, when the bug DNA wore off, I was so happy that it

freaked him out.

He said my happiness was ruining his image.

Anyway, I found somebody new.

-Ready to put up the paper, honey.

-Guys, this is Bed Head.

He's a stand-up comic.

-Hey, hey.

Fun to meet you.

-Ow!

-Gets 'em every time.

-[laughing]

Isn't he fun?

We've covering the black paint in my room with this.

-It's an improvement.

Sort of.

-[laughing]

Hey, check it out.

My phone has--

-Oh!

-Call wetting.

[laughing]

Do you get it?

Call wetting!

'Cause it's water.

[laughter]

-We are so picking her next boyfriend.

-Definitely.

-Hmm.

I don't see anything wrong with dating

non-jock type guys.

I mean, opposites attract, and goth is, like, totally

opposite me.

But I mean, still cool, you know, in that dark, weird--

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Depressing way?

-Thank you, Sam.

I mean, who can wear black every day?

Especially when Clover's got the hottest new pair of powder