Original subtitles

[theme music]

[music playing]

[door opens and shuts]

[music playing]

-I thought today would never end.

Well, all that matters is I'm home now.

[machinery whirring]

[sighs]

-And we have the whole night together.

[music playing]

[snoring]

ALL: Oh!

-What's happening?

- I think we're being invaded.

-Ah!

ALL: Uh!

-Not unless our invaders are evil party planners.

-We're from Bling Jet Enterprises.

Which one of you is Clover?

-I am!

I am!

I'm Clover!

-Congratulations, Clover.

You've been selected to fly on the maiden voyage of Bling

Jet, a brand new, super chic, super fast airliner.

-No way!

You mean I won?

-Um hmm.

Bling Jet will transport you and a gaggle of international

mega-celebrities from L A to Paris in the blink of an eye.

-Sam, Alex, did you hear that?

I'm going to Paris with a gaggle of international

mega-celebrities.

-Yeah, we heard.

We're standing right here.

-Ah!

I am so excited.

I don't even care that my hair is a ratted mess.

Soon I'll be hobnobbing with my peeps, baby.

-Right.

Since when is Clover an international mega-celebrity?

-What's with the tude, girls?

Aren't you happy for me?

-Of course we're happy for you.

We're just a little bummed that we didn't win.

-Sorry, but you've got to be entered in Bling Jet's super

fabulous contest to win.

-Oh!

We did enter Bling Jet's super fabulous contest.

Clover mailed our entries.

Right, Clover?

-Uh, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oopsy.

My bad.

ALL: Clover!

-How could you do that?

-Were you trying to sabotage our chances to win?

-Of course not.

I was just so excited.

I wanted to make super sure my entry got there, so I used

extra stamps.

Ha, ha.

And there were none left to mail yours.

BOTH: Oh.

BLING JET FLIGHT REPRESENTATIVE (OFFSCREEN):

Congrats again.

See you this afternoon.

[sounds of struggling]

-It's OK, Clover.

We'll just take this off your hands.

-Yeah.

The guilt must be killing you.

-No, it's not.

Hands off my ticket.

You heard the stewardess.

[all screaming]

-It's mine!

Give it back!

[all screaming]

-Then we'll draw straws to see who gets to go.

-What part of, congratulations, Clover.

You're the winner, didn't you understand?

-The part where you forgot to mail our entries.

-Speaking of winners, you've been chosen out of thousands

of WOOHP agents to serve as human test subjects in our

latest battery of gadget tests.

Isn't that exciting?

-Forget it, Jerry.

-Yeah.

You can just find someone else to be your gadget testing

Guinea pigs.

-I was trying to make it sound exciting.

But since that didn't work, your

participation is mandatory.

-Sorry.

No can do.

I've been chosen to ride of the maiden

voyage of Bling Jet.

Ha, ha.

Obviously, my social standing is more important than testing

WOOHP gadgets.

-Oh, Clover.

I'm so excited for you.

Though I must admit to being a little jealous

that I didn't win.

-W--w--w-- wait.

You entered the Bling Jet contest?

-Well, of course.

Bling Jet is a technological marvel.

The dawn of a new error in air travel.

And not to mention, I used to be quite the international jet

setter in my youth.

[giggling]

-Guess it'll just be the two of you for the gadget testing.

BOTH: But-- but--

-Thanks, Jer.

You're the best.

Whoa!

JERRY (OFFSCREEN): Bon voyage, Clover.

[crowd yelling and screaming]

-Free trip.

Celebs galore.

Hello.

Could it possibly get any better than this?

-Bling Jet also has a nightclub, five star French

restaurant, fully equipped spa, and error-proof landing

system, complete with spinning rims.

Can I show you to your seat?

-Uh huh.

-Here we are.

Five

D. -[gasp].

You mean I'm sitting next to hip hop

sensation Triple Threat?

Oh!

Dan, Stan, and the Man.

You guys are only like the hottest triplets in

pre-packaged music.

-(SINGING) Yo.

-(SINGING) Yo.

-(SINGING) Yo.

-Oh!

Wait until Sam and Alex see this.

Meeting Triple Treat will so make up for forgetting to mail

their entries.

-So, what do you girls think of WOOHP's fire ants hot

pants, hmm?

BOTH: Ow!

Ow!

Ow!

-A big, fat four thumbs down.

-Please make the burning stop.

Ow!

-Hello?

-Hey, Sam.

Hey, Alex.

I just thought you might like to say hi to--

[gasp]

--Triple Threat!

Ah!

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

-(SINGING) What's up?

-(SINGING) What's up?

-(SINGING) What's up?

-Clover!

What, are you trying to rub your good

fortune in our faces?

-Because now is really not the best time.

Ow!

Out!

-Please turn off all the electronic devices, and

prepare for departure.

-Um, how do I buckle myself in?

-Hmm.

-Oh!

Cool.

Thanks, Dan.

[screaming]

-Oh.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: We've reached cruising altitude.

You are now free to move about the cabin, and enjoy Bling

Jet's fabulous amenities.

-Oh.

-Nature calls, my peeps.

-[gasp]

Well, I guess it's just you and me.

Double threat.

What are we waiting for?

[SOUND OF SUCKING THROUGH STRAW]

[music playing]

-Ah!

-Mmm.

-Uh, haven't seen the man in a while.

-He's probably in the steam room.

Dry plane air is murder on the follicles.

-Oh!

Tell me about it.

I'm deep conditioning the minute we land.

Wait.

This says we've already passed Paris.

That makes no sense.

[gasp]

Wow.

That was super psychic.

-What can I do for you, miss?

-Well, I think your GPS system is broken.

It says we've already passed Paris.

-That's really more of a question for the captain.

Please, follow me.

Captain Hayes, this is Clover, winner of

the Bling Jet contest.

She has a question she'd like to ask.

-Our motto at Bling Jet is service with a

million dollar smile.

What can I do for you?

-I was just wondering why your on-board computer says we've

already passed grand Paris.

-Because we have.

The flight was going so well, we figured, why end it now?

[chuckle]

In fact, we're never going to land.

-[gulp]

-I'm going to fly the friendly skies with my new celebrity

friends forever and ever.

-[gasp]

But I don't understand.

Don't planes need fuel?

-Not Bling Jet.

It's hydro-powered, collecting condensation from the clouds.

-Then the International Airport Authority dudes will

stop you.

-Bling Jet travels faster than the speed of sound, so it's

virtually undetectable by radar.

-If you think the celebrities will go along with this, then

you're-- you're--

-What?

Crazy?

With all the fabulous amenities on Bling Jet, the

celebrities would have to be crazy to want to leave.

-Uh, demented much.

There's no way you're going to get away with this.

[sounds of struggle]

-Hey!

You're pretty strong for an overly coiffed,

glorified air waitress.

[sounds of struggle]

-Not to mention heavy.

Wait!

Where did he go?

Uh!

Uh!

Uh!

-There's no point in trying to escape.

Those are diamond coated doors.

Nothing goes in or our unless I say so.

-Uh!

Ow!

Uh!

-Now please, take your seat, and prepare for departure.

[laughs]

CLOVER: Uh!

Oh!

-Yours, that is.

-Do the words, as if, mean anything to you?

Huh?

Oh!

Whoa.

So that's why you're kidnapping celebrities?

You have one majorly severe case of CWS.

-CWS?

-Duh!

Celebrity worship syndrome.

-And soon you'll have one major case of altitude

sickness, when my flight attendant throws

you from the plane.

Get her!

-OK.

Um, I hate to be redundant, but it's so

not going to happen.

[sounds of struggle]

-Ah!

OK!

Mega freaky?

-Oh, did I forget to mention my flight

attendants are robots?

[sounds of struggle]

-Did I forget to mention I'm an international spy?

-You can run, Clover, but you can't hide.

-Oh, yeah?

Just watch me.

Uh!

Uh!

I need some super spy backup.

Time for another call to Sam and Alex.

[groan offscreen]

-[gasp]

He--he-- hello?

[groan from under sink]

-Huh?

[groan]

-The Man!

What have they done to you?

Oh, don't worry.

I'm getting help.

-[muffled words]

-The quick stash moustache is designed to hide whatever you

need while on assignment.

No matter the size.

Go ahead.

Give it a try.

BOTH: Whoa!

-Oh.

-Oh, yeah Jer.

This is foolproof.

No one will ever suspect we've got anything hidden in here.

-Plus we're not males, so why exactly

are we wearing mustaches?

[telephone rings]

-Allow me.

ALL: Clover.

-If you called to brag about your fabulous trip, Clover,

you can just forget it.

-This isn't a courtesy call.

I'm in some major high altitude trouble.

-What's wrong?

-Captain Hayes is a celeb-napper, with no plans to

land Bling Jet ever.

And if we don't go along with his plan, he's going to put us

in a creepy dungeon thingy.

ALL: [gasp]

-Com out, come out, wherever you are.

[scream]

-Ooh.

Alex, Sam, hurry?

-Hang in there, Clover.

We're on our way.

Yee-yee-yee.

Oh.

Ow.

-Those haven't been tested, yet.

GLADIS!

-No, Jer.

There's no time for GLADIS.

Besides, what better way to test them than in the field?

-You're right.

Good luck, girls.

BOTH: Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

-These nuclear-powered propeller caps

are making me dizzy.

-Oh, if I wasn't so scared, this might actually be fun.

Except for the part where we look like geeks.

[gasp]

Oh, no!

-What?

-I think I'm running out of juice.

[scream]

-Hang on, Alex.

I'm coming.

If only I could figure out how to control this thing.

[scream]

-Gotcha!

-Thanks, Sam.

I had visions of being a spy pancake.

-We'd better hurry.

Who knows how much juice that I've got left.

-How are we going to get inside?

If we open the door, it could depressurize the entire cabin.

-We could go in through there.

-Whoa!

Isn't that the toilet exhaust?

-Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Which bring us to experimental gadget number two.

-Uh--

-A metal mashing boxing glove.

Ah-yah!

-Cool, and gross.

I can't believe we just crawled

through the toilet exhaust.

-At least it's self-cleaning.

-Ah!

Sam!

Alex!

I knew you'd come.

I'd totally hug you, but-- you know.

ALL: [groans]

-Get me out of here.

ALL: [groans and screams]

-Clover, one.

Freaky robots, none.

-Batter up!

[sounds of fighting]

-Great work, spies.

Now, grab their tacky uniforms and follow me.

[SOUNDS OF HIGH HEELS CLICKING]

-Did you eliminate the girl?

-If by the girl, you mean Clover?

Then no, because I'm standing right here.

-I'd love to stay and chat, but I really have to jet.

BOTH: Huh?

-So that's how he does it.

CAPTAIN HAYES (OFFSCREEN): Pretty cool trick, huh?

[gasp]

He's locked us in from the outside.

CAPTAIN HAYES (OFFSCREEN): I've also programmed the

computer to begin dropping the pressure inside the cockpit.

Sleep tight, ladies.

-Oh.

[soft piano music]

-Nice to see you.

Enjoying your flight?

You look marvelous.

-Excuse me, Captain.

I was just wondering when we'll reach Paris?

-Yes.

I'm expected at the theater at 8:00.

-Soon.

Very soon.

Now, relax and enjoy the flight.

After all, the journey is the destination, right?

Ha Ha.

Why don't I have my flight crew bring around some low fat

pistachio froyo?

Hmm?

-Oh, yeah.

All right.

-Pistachio froyo.

-(SINGING) Yummers.

Yummers times two.

[beeping]

-I haven't felt this nauseous since Mandy wore a tube top to

Algebra.

-With the cockpit pressure dropping, we won't stay

conscious much longer.

-Then we better call for reinforcements.

-Good idea.

I'll dial Jerry.

-Forget Jerry.

We need to alert the other passengers.

[chuckling]

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Ola, mega-celebs.

This is Clover from five D.

CLOVER (ON COMMUNICATION SCREEN): I'm afraid I have

some bad news.

Captain Hayes has no intention of landing in Paris.

He wants you to live aboard Bling Jet as his

own personal menagerie.

Freaky weird, huh?

Feel free to be incensed and angry.

And BTW, he stuck me and my girls in the cockpit with

little breathable air.

So if you can give us a hand, it would be way appreciated.

Over and out.

-Who do you think you are?

-You'll never get away with this.

-You crazy, man.

-You ain't never going to get away with this, man.

Never!

-You want insane?

I'll give you insane.

ALL: Oh!

-I've just increased Bling Jet's speed to a nutty one

million miles per hour.

A velocity so intense, that it reverse the

rotation of the Earth.

I will go backward on Earth, erasing your fame and fortune

in the process.

Ha ha!

Ha ha!

[roaring of jet engines]

ALL: Oh!

[clock ticking]

[roaring of jet engines]

-Get him!

-Let's get him!

-My flight crew will be happy to assist you with all your

in-flight needs--

later.

-Oh!

Looks like Clover's Operation Celebrity pep rally failed.

What do we do now?

-I don't know, but we better do it pronto.

I'm fading faster than a store-bought tan.

-Experimental gadget number three, don't fail us now.

-Oh!

How is playing rock the cradle going to help our lame oxygen

sitch, Sam?

Come

-It's not.

While you two figure out a way to restore cabin pressure, I'm

going to slow down the plane.

-Another mission, another bad hair day.

-OK.

I'm no international jet setter, but shouldn't there be

oxygen masks dropping from the ceiling by now?

-The captain must have jammed them with that totally

annoying, totally cyber lamer mode of his.

-Then we'll just have to unjam them.

-Who knew my in-flight mani would come in so handy?

Uh!

Uh!

-Nice work, Clover.

-Ah.

Now, all we have to do is increase the oxygen flow.

-No prob.

[music playing]

-Oh!

BOTH: Oh!

[moaning and screaming]

-Oh!

Maybe using an experimental gadget

wasn't such a good idea.

-Guess this is one way to get rid of wrinkles.

Ha ha.

Not that I have any.

-Forget about your face, Clover.

Oh!

Oh!

We

need to help Sam.

Now, grab onto me, and don't let go.

-Right.

BOTH: [groans]

-Sammy!

-Alex!

Help!

-Oh!

No worries.

I'm on it.

-Whoa!

Uh!

-Oops!

Not on it.

-Uh!

-Oh!

[groans]

-Sorry, girls.

I was so concerned with slowing the plane down, I kind

of forgot to think about the landing.

-Oh!

Well, you better think about it now.

Because we're coming in fast.

-Just relax, girls.

Our ride is fully loaded.

-Back away from the console.

There's no way I'm letting some wannabe ruin my destiny.

-The only wannabe I see is you, as in you might want to

be running, because you're about to get your but kicked.

[sounds of struggle]

-Now, as I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted,

say hello to Bling Jet's error-proof landing system.

-Ah.

Now, that's what I call Bling-tastic.

-Nice job, ladies.

I'll see you back on solid ground.

-And thanks for flying with that us.

I've always wanted to say that.

-Bye bye.

And please remember, if you're going to sue, sue him, not us.

We're the good guys.

Bye, Triple Threat.

-(SINGING) Yo.

-(SINGING) Yo.

-(SINGING) Yo.

-And remember, I'm available for any of your casting needs.

I'll have my agent send you a head shot.

BOTH: Oh!

-Oh, that reminds me.

Just thought this would make up for forgetting

to mail your entries.

-Ooh!

Dan, Stan, and the Man.

I'll cherish this always.

-Yo, you, yo!

[laughter]

-Being a celeb is like so not what it's cracked up to be.

People are always all over you, wanting autographs,

pictures, hair.

And like, privacy is totally a thing of the past.

I mean, hello.

Try scratching your nose without 100 paparazzi snapping

away at you.

No, thank you.

Unless, of course, someone out there wants to do a show about

me, or something.

You know, like being a super cool spy.

Heh heh.

Just needs a name.

Oh!

Oh!

I know.