Original subtitles

[x-powder ringing]

[explosion]

-Job well done, Britney.

-All in a day's work, Jerry.

[gasp]

-Britney?

-Jerry, the autopilot's down.

I'm taking manual control.

Jerry, do you read?

-Britney, I'm afraid I'm losing you.

-Come in, Jerry.

[gasp]

-Hiya!

[doorbell ringing]

[gasp]

-Hiya!

-Surprise!

[giggles]

-Uh, did you forget your keys?

-And your sense of fashion?

-No and no.

I'm a Beautylicious Betty.

Isn't it fantastic?

-A Beaut-a, who-da, what?

-A door-to-door peddler of everything that's

right with the world.

-Uh!

Wow.

-Hm?

-Didn't the news run a story about these shoddy products?

-OK, nothing was proven.

-Hm.

The overpriced tag speaks for itself.

-Who can put a dollar amount on beauty?

Sam, is that a zit I see brewing?

-You said you couldn't see it.

[gasp]

-Alex, have you been scrubbing toilets again?

-Toilets don't just clean themselves, you know.

-Come on, girls, just give 'em a try-- for me,

your bestest friend?

-Hm?

-Don't you want to look great for all the hunky guys at the

WHOOP company picnic this weekend?

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Well, when you put it that way, I'll take

the hand lotion.

-I'll try the face cleanser with the soft scrub cloth.

Ooh!

It's like a million tiny fingers exfoliating.

-Totally!

My hands have never been so silky.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): That'll be $69.47.

-Huh?

-What?

-Man, for someone who can't put a price on beauty, you

don't hold back.

[sound of cash register]

[gasps]

-Whoa!

-Oh!

-Ugh!

Argh!

-[clearing throat]

We have a crisis, girls.

-The only crisis I see is that pasty

complexion of yours, Jer.

Luckily, I have a Mega Bronzer I'd be happy to sell you.

-Britney's plane went down.

[gasps]

-Briney?

-She was flying over an island in the Atlantic when I

received a red alert from the plane's computer, then--

nothing.

-But she was the best recruit, ever.

we taught her every spy trick we know.

-I haven't heard a thing from her.

I'm afraid she may be injured.

-Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's hit the search and rescue.

-It's a bit more complicated than that.

-There is nothing complicated about a friend in trouble,

Jerry.

-Yeah, Britney's the best.

Even Alex couldn't stay jealous of her.

-I wasn't jealous for long.

-Only long enough to quit.

JERRY (OFFSCREEN): The island she was flying over is a top

secret holding facility for WHOOP's

most dangerous criminals.

-We can handle it.

We'll just stay away from the holding facility.

-No, I'm afraid that won't help.

Britney's plane took out the security system when it went

down.

-[gasp]

So the island's evil residence are running wild, and

Britney's on her own?

-Indeed.

And because of that breach in security, the island is now

set to self destruct.

You have exactly 3 hours and 12 minutes to find her and get

out of there.

-Then upload the 411 on all the island's

baddies for us, ASAP.

We're going to need the advantage.

JERRY (OFFSCREEN): Yes.

G.L.A.D.I.S., if you would?

G.L.A.D.I.S.: Dispensing gadgets.

-G.L.A.D.I.S., the usual, plus the M-Ray Contact Lenses,

Laser Nailfile, and the Hologram Protecting Moodring.

-Hang on, Brit, we're coming.

Let's go!

[beeping]

-Clover, feed us the link on the island's major baddies.

Seems there's three to watch out for, Gargantuan, The

Surgeon, and Alienator.

Gargantuan was taken in for trying to demolish the planet.

It escaped twice causing mondo damage before

it was caught again.

-Big deal.

Giant robotty thing.

We'll just wipe out its motherboard.

-The surgeon is being held because he set out to

disfigure the world, on face at a time.

OK.

Someone has issues.

-OK.

Ew!

What kind of monster is he?

-Speaking of monsters, check this on out.

Alienator is here because, well, its a vicious alien

creature from outer space that only wants to devour us.

The thing is blind so it's other senses are heightened.

You can't breathe without being detected.

-I can't breathe now.

This helmet is making me all kinds of flushed.

-I was thinking it was the leather, because my

hands are way itchy.

-That's funny.

Because I feel just fine.

In fact, I was thinking of wearing this outfit to the

company picnic.

Hey, shouldn't the island be here?

-The island's top secret, which means

it's probably cloaked.

Just give me a sec to alter the program.

[beeping]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Got you.

Over there!

-Cool.

Now let's get mission save Britney accomplished before

this baby blows and ruins a perfectly good hair day.

-Maybe the villains don't know the security system's down.

-Hm?

[thumping]

-Agh!

-Agh!

Gargantuan.

Unfair advantage here.

-Run!

-Time for a little jet pack action.

Ugh!

-Whoa!

-Alex!

-Anyone know if the jet packs come with barf bags?

-Hold on, Alex, I'll save you.

Bwah!

[moaning]

-Hello!

In the middle of a battle, here.

Not the time to lose focus.

-It's not me, it's you're blah terrific skin cream.

It's attacking my face.

-That's probably just poison ivy.

Beautylicious has an oinment for it, but

first things first.

Right now, we have to short circuit Gargantuan's

motherboard.

-Ew!

Whoa!

[gasp]

SAM (OFFSCREEN): What is it?

-No wonder WHOOP didn't just fry the hard

drive, there is none.

Gargantuan's insides are organic.

-So it's not a robot after all?

-Nope.

Which means it's time for plan b.

Follow my lead.

Agh!

Ugh!

-Whoa!

Uh!

Agh!

Uh, you're supposed to be helping me, not making me

sicker.

-Trust me.

I saw this in an old monster movie at a

drive-in in the Valley.

Worked like a charm.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Agh!

-Agh!

Uh, ah.

[screams]

-Hey, good hands, Sammy.

-Uh, wish I could say the same for you, Alex.

-Ugh!

I'm all hairy!

Must be from that bogus hand cream.

-Uh, not to worry, Alex.

Beautylicious makes a killer shaving cream.

Now, enough with the chit-chat.

We've got two hours to find Britney and get off this

ticking time-bomb.

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Let's do it!

[grunts]

-Ugh!

-Ugh!

[gasp]

-Whoa!

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): [gasp]

Britney's plane!

It's completely in tact.

-How can you crash without any damage?

-Good question.

The controls seem fine.

And her computer's still functioning.

-Brit's too good a spy to land safely and not check in.

Something's definitely up.

-Let's see what the exterior cam has to report.

-Brit didn't crash.

She was forced down.

But why?

And by who?

-Whoa!

Ugh!

Oh!

-I just hate when low-techs get the better of us.

[chuckling]

-Look at those cheekbones, those eyes, that chin.

-Well, I can't take all the credit, ha, ha.

I was born this way.

-A little nip, here.

A little tuck, there.

And you're face will look just like mine.

-Ew!

As if.

-Hey, doc?

You think you can do anything about my hands?

-Oh, my.

Oh, those are very attractive.

Huh!

Trying to escape?

Cute!

Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): [grunts]

-I'll operate on you, first.

Don't touch those!

-If at first you don't succeed!

Huh, ugh!

Uh, hiya!

-That's right, I know Karate.

-Huh, uh!

You may know Karate, but I'm a black belt in Pilates!

-Huh?

Agh!

-Let's see how you like it, pal!

-Agh!

[moaning]

-[gasps]

Britney!

-Mm, mm.

-[gasp]

Britney, you're OK.

-Clover, Alex, Sam!

Oh!

I can't believe you found me.

You're the best spies in the world.

-Awe!

-Though I got to admit, you two look a little different

than I remember.

-Yeah, thanks to Clover's ugilicious products.

-And I suppose your hairstyle is my fault, too?

-You look a little different, too, Brit.

Only I can't quite tell what it is.

-Oh, well.

There'll be plenty of time to catch up once we

escape WHOOP Island.

-You're right, clock's ticking.

Let's get out of here.

-Uh, where are you going?

Your plane's this way.

-That's the first place they'll look for us.

We need to get to the beach where the

WHOOP submersible is.

I released it when my plane started to go down.

-Wow!

Even under capture you're on your toes.

-See, not jealous.

-I learned from the best.

-Only one problem.

How do we know which way the beach is?

-Easy, we follow the wind patterns.

-Uh, Sammy, you have some gunk on your face.

Ew!

Clover, what did you do to her?

-OK, that's it!

Whatever's going on with you two, isn't the fault of my

Beautylicious products.

And I'll prove it.

-Uh!

-Hey?

-Don't worry.

Nothing's going to happen.

-Ugh!

On second thought, maybe these products are shoddy.

-It's not the products, it's her skin.

It's Latex.

-Mwahaha, ha, ha, ha.

-And she's not Britney!

She's Willard, that slow-mo freak of a villain.

-I knew you-- ugh!

I knew you goody-goody spies would help

your goody-goody friend.

So I created a device to pull her plane down in tact, so I

could just escape.

-So escape already.

We only care about Britney.

Where is she?

-Rush, rush, rush.

I don't rush.

I hate rushing.

Have you learned nothing from our last encounter?

-Listen twisted mister, we're the reason

you're on this island.

So what makes you think you can out-fight us this time?

[chuckling]

-Agh!

ALEX (OFFSCREEN): Clover!

-All right, all right.

We'll slow down.

See?

Talking nice and slow now.

-I spent three weeks writing this speech.

The least you can do is listen patiently.

Now where was I?

Oh, that's right.

Once I get rid of you pests, I'll lead my army have baddies

off this island and take over--

oh, I don't know-- maybe the world!

-That took three weeks?

-Where's Britney?

-Agh!

-You guys, you're the best.

But you didn't have to come here for me.

-Like, you wouldn't have done the same for us.

-Don't worry, we'll get out of this mess.

-There you go, rushing to conclusions.

Rush, rush, rush.

When will you learn?

-Now.

Now's a good to learn.

-You bet it is.

Rush, and your demise is only that much closer.

-Remember, it's blind.

All we have to do is chill and it won't know we're here.

[growling]

-Ugh!

Ich!

Easy for you to say!

Ugh!

Uh!

[gasp]

-Run!

[screams]

[heavy breathing]

[gasp]

-Ew!

Agh!

-Ugh!

When in doubt, accessorize.

-You are so like me.

We have to go shopping when this is over.

-Shh!

He hears every move.

-That's it!

It's hearing.

Huh!

[blowing dog whistle]

-Good thinking, Britney!

-Standard requisite, WHOOP Ultrasonic

Dog and Alien Whistle.

[beeping]

-Uh, oh.

I think I can hear the whistle.

What does that mean?

-That's no whistle.

That's my watch!

-Phew!

For a second I though I was an alien.

-We've only got four minutes before this island blows, and

us with it!

-I don't suppose you have a map back to the plane, Brit?

-I have something better.

-Ooh!

-A laser trail.

I triggered it when I was captured.

-Wow!

We really did train you well.

-Totally!

-We should talk to Jer about having you team with us

permanently.

-That's sweet, Alex.

But Jerry's already got me assigned to a team.

Girls, meet Dimitri and Javier.

-Ooh!

-Dibs!

-Not fair!

-They'll be at the company picnic.

I'll introduce you.

-Huah!

-Huh!

Huh!

Huh!

-Two minutes, 49 seconds.

How far away from the plane?

-It's just beyond that clump of trees.

They'll get there before we do.

-Not if we use the Hologram Projecting Moodring.

I'll mask the real plane, and create a fake one just a few

feet away.

-Great idea!

Willard will load his baddies into nothing.

-Forget nothing!

Into a trap.

-And I have the perfect gadget to do you just that.

Give me two seconds head start, then

lure them to the plane.

-[gasp]

One Mississippi, two Mississippi--

-Hurry girls, the plane's this way.

-Huh?

-Quickly, before they take the plane.

-For a guy who hates rushing, he moves pretty fast.

-You goody-goodies think you're so fast.

Get them!

What is that, cologne?

-Much as you could use some, this will have to do.

[screams]

-A little instant growth.

See, fast isn't always bad.

-Good advice.

-Britney!

[gasp]

Ugh!

Huah!

Ha!

Hiya!

-Ugh!

-I taught her the whole dive, tuck, roll move.

-I forgot how fun it was to work with you guys.

-And we look good doing it, too.

Uh, he, he, he.

-Agh!

-A personal skin care formula that WHOOP's been working on.

-Uh?

-Ah!

-Now that's the Sam and Alex I know.

[whistling]

-Ergh!

-What?

What?

Oh, all right, I'll turn in my Beautylicious badge.

-We knew you'd come around.

So when can we get our money back?

-Uh, who said anything about a money back guarantee?

-But, you just admitted your products are lame and bogus.

-All Beautylicious sales are final.

After all, how can I make a commission if I give everyone

back their money?

Agh!

Ew!

Ugh!

Ew!

Ew!

-I admit, when I first met Britney I went in to rival

mode, but she was like totally stepping on my turf.

You know, being all nice, and talented, and spy like.

I guess, just because we have the same interests and the

same levels of skill doesn't mean we have to be

enemies, does it?

No.

Right?

Right!

Hey, wait a minute, maybe that's why we're such good

friends, now, cause we're so alike.

Plus, she's super hip.

I mean, even more hip than Clover.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): I heard that.