Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Here we go, we're getting on the road till we

stop, and then we'll shop.

So one, two, three now, baby, here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

On a mission, undercover and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're Totally Spies so get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

[alarm ringing]

PUBLIC ADDRESS: Intruder alert.

Intruder alert.

-Hold it right there.

-Hm?

-Must be a false alarm.

[explosion]

-Ugh!

Hit the deck!

We're under attack!

Huh?

-Huh?

-Ah!

I can't remember the last time I felt so

energized after shopping.

It's amazing.

-Um, maybe it has something to be with the fact that you

brought your own personal pack mule along, Clover.

-Isn't Randy just the best?

-Wait right here, my precious flower, I'll

bring the car around.

-OK.

Randy, if you insist.

-Don't you think it's mean to take advantage of

poor Randy like that?

-Yeah, what is he, a boyfriend or a boy toy?

-Uh, please.

I can't help it if I am so irresistible guys feel

compelled to tend to my every need.

Wow!

That was, like, seriously quick.

-Ha, ha.

I didn't want to keep the most gorgeous girl in

Beverly Hills waiting.

-Oh, Randy, you're too much.

-So, where are we supposed to sit?

-In the front with me.

-And what about Randy?

-Don't worry about me.

I'll take the bus.

-That's a fabulous idea.

-Clover!

-What?

Randy doesn't mind.

Now are you two going to get in, or what?

-Bye, Clover.

-I can't believe you actually let Randy take the bus.

That is just so wrong.

-You know, you're right.

I shouldn't have let him get away before reminding him to

pick up my dry cleaning.

-Ugh!

-Now, who's up for an afternoon at the beach?

-Are you sure that's such a good idea?

It's getting kind of dark out.

-Huh?

-That's not darkness, it's W.H.O.O.P.-ness.

[screams]

-Good afternoon, ladies.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-It was good until now.

-Yes, I apologize for the interruption.

But I have something rather urgent.

-Cool.

It's like we're at the drive-in.

-Except there's no popcorn or cute boys to smooch.

-Girls, focus.

-Sorry.

PUBLIC ADDRESS: Intruder alter.

Intruder alert.

-Hold it right there.

-As you can see, there has been a break-in at a high

security military base in Nevada.

Some top secret artificial intelligence

microchips were stolen.

-Freaky.

-Well, it could be, if the chips were to fall into the

wrong hands.

From what I understand, they're quite powerful.

-Then I guess we'd better hurry up and find

out where they went.

-Indeed.

And now for your gadgets.

[gasps]

-Infrared motion detector sunglasses, expendable cable

bungee belts, titanium drill heal boots, retractable razor

faux nails in cosmic blue, and an electromagnetic field

dispenser Walkman.

-Awesome!

I can listen to music and kick bad guy butt at the same time.

-Goodbye, girls.

Or as they see in the military, shove off.

[screams]

-So all that's missing are the AI microchips?

-Affirmative.

-And there's no sign of forced entry into the base?

-That's correct.

Just a small hole blown in the side of the building.

Way too small for anybody to squeeze through.

-Unless the thieves were mice.

-Oh!

-What?

Like weirder things haven't happened?

-Any idea why someone would want to steal this stuff?

-Maybe to build a robot.

Maybe to build some kind of smart weapon.

Some similar chips were stolen about a year ago.

-Let's spread out and look for clues.

-Hey, check this out.

-What is it?

-It looks like our standard issue GI combat helmet, only

really tiny.

-Huh.

All of sudden, Alex's mice theory doesn't sound so dumb.

-Thank you.

-Let's show it to Jerry.

-Hm?

-Maybe he can shed some light on things.

-It's an accessory for a lot of action figure toys.

Limited edition, high-end soldiers called Combat Chuck

and Combat Betty.

-Let me get this straight.

Whoever broke into the base product toys with them?

-It would appear that way.

-Is it me, or are bad guys just getting

more and more pathetic?

-So where can we find these Combat

Chucks and Combat Bettys?

-It says here, they're only sold at one store, Toy

Universe in Burbank, California.

-Then I guess that's the next place we're going.

We'll be in touch, Jerry.

-You coming, Clover?

-Right after I check my messages.

Ugh, talk about majorly rude.

Randy left me 35 messages.

-But I thought you liked him acting like a servant and

tending to your every need.

-Yeah.

I do.

But that doesn't give him the right to

monopolize my voice mail.

I mean, hello!

With him clogging up my system, how am I supposed to

keep up a normal social life?

-You're not, because we're on an important mission.

Remember?

-Oh, right.

The immature bad guy with a toy obsession.

Let's do it.

-Cool toys, but I don't get what they have to do with the

break-in at the base.

-Or with a bunch of artificial intelligence chips.

-In that case, we should just pack it in.

I mean, you know, we probably still have

time to hit the beach.

[gasps]

-Look out!

[gasp]

-Agh!

Huh?

[gasp]

-Hm?

Huh?

OK, I'm all for realistic toys, but

this is out of control.

-What are they doing?

-Looks like they're expanding their army, Doctor

Frankenstein style.

-I think I'm starting to understand the artificial

intelligence microchip connection.

-Come on, let's get out of here.

-Where do you maggots think you're going?

[screams]

-Nowhere.

-You got that right, little lady.

Get 'em.

[screams]

-Oh, ow!

That hurts.

[screams]

-Ugh!

Get away from me.

-Sorry, but I cant' stay.

-After her.

No one escapes.

[screaming]

-You're lucky I didn't bring my fly swatter, pal.

[gasp]

-Agh!

-Uh, agh, uh!

Ugh!

Um!

-Hey!

-Hiya!

That'll teach you to mess with my hair.

Huh?

Don't mind if I do.

-Hey!

Hm?

Take that, cowboy.

Huh?

[toy siren]

-Oh, dear!

[screams]

-Everybody OK?

[toy sirens]

[screams]

-Bring up the hardware, grunts.

[gasps]

-Uh, ouch!

Ouch!

Ugh!

Ugh!

Argh!

Ugh!

-Whoa!

No!

-Get a medic up here, on the double.

[toy siren]

-Nice distraction.

Now let's run for it.

-Perfect.

We've got those cream puffs trapped.

[gasps]

-What do we do now?

-Hope for a miracle.

-Does a mysterious van count?

-Get in.

-Works for me.

-Attention air brigade, take out that van.

-Uh-oh.

We've got company.

-Look out!

-Ugh!

[screams]

-OK, that was a little too close for comfort.

-Don't worry.

I have a plan.

SAM (OFFSCREEN): Sweet, now do you mind telling us who the

heck you are?

-My name's Seth.

I'm a toy designer.

-Oh, let me guess, you're responsible for those evil

little creatures back there.

-I'm afraid so.

-Man, I think you better reexamine your definition of

the word toy.

-Totally.

I mean, what's with this microchip I found on a

dinosaur's head?

-Let me see that.

It says here it has an extremely powerful internal

electronic energy source, and numerous microprocessors.

There's only one organization that could have created

something like this, the US Military.

-Uh, about a year ago, I borrowed a few chips from them

to make my soldiers the most realistic toys on the market.

-Borrowed?

Sounds more like you stole 'em.

-OK.

I stole them.

But I swear, I didn't realize how powerful the chips were.

I didn't know they would make the toys act this way.

It's like they have minds of their own now, criminal minds.

-So you mean, this time the toys are the ones that broke

into the base?

-Yeah.

They're totally out of control.

-Wow!

I guess that explains the helmet we found,

and the tiny hole.

-And now they're using the chips to create an army out of

other toys.

-Why would they do that?

-I'm not sure.

But frankly, I'm kind of afraid to find out.

[gasp]

-Randy?

How did you find me?

-Believe me it wasn't easy.

-Well, what do you want?

-I thought you might want a sweater, in case you got cold.

It's supposed to get pretty chilly tonight.

-Ugh!

Randy, could you do me a mega big favor?

-Your wish is my command, darling.

-Could you get lost.

Because, I'm like, totally in the middle of something.

-Huh?

No problem.

I'll see you later.

-OK.

Randy just went from being the best to be a pest.

-And now onto more pressing matters.

Like stopping those toys.

-But we don't know where they are.

-They may go back to my toy factory.

It's kind of their home base.

-Then we should make sure we're there waiting for them.

Let's hit it.

-So why are we sneaking into Seth's place, again?

-We don't want to take any chances.

-Yeah.

I've had enough ambushes for one day.

-Come on!

We can go in through here.

I can't see anything.

Do a quick scan for us, Alex.

[beep]

[electronic chirping]

-I think I see something right below us.

-Let's take 'em out.

-Hiya!

-Hiya!

That'll teach you to--

hey, how come their not fighting back?

-These must be last season's models.

The ones without the chips.

-Then I guess we got our bungees in

a twist over nothing.

-What the--

-Hah!

[screams]

-Huh, huh, huh huh!

Hiya.

Hiya!

-Take no prisoners.

-OK.

This is officially surreal, not to mention embarrassing.

-That's enough lip out of you, missy.

Pipe down.

Fall in line.

Suck in that gut.

-OK, Mr. Toy, sir.

-Excellent plan to lead the enemy right

into our trap, Commander.

-But there was no plan.

I was--

-The platoon is ready to carry out the final mission.

An assault on the United Countries building.

-You can't do that!

People are going to get hurt.

As your Commander, I order you to lay down your arms.

-Huh?

Traitor!

Seize this prisoner-of-war.

-Ugh!

Ugh.

-You're relieved of your commanding duty.

We'll take over the world without you.

-I was afraid he was going to say something like that.

-For only being alive for a couple of days, that Sergeant

really has this bad guy thing down.

-This is all my fault.

I never intended for the toys to be so dangerous.

-Uh, speaking of dangerous, you think those mini

landmines are real?

-Ah-- achoo.

Does that answer your question?

-Don't worry.

I got into this mess, I'll get us out.

Maybe we could swing over to that table?

-It's worth a shot.

[grunts]

-Whoa!

Whoa!

-Hey, it's working!

Just a little farth--

-Whoa!

-Oh!

Uh, huh.

[screams]

-Ugh!

-Ugh!

-Huh, uh.

-Ugh!

-Nobody move.

I'll walk us out of the minefield.

Follow my footsteps precisely.

[clank]

[gasp]

-That didn't sound good.

-OK.

When I say go, everyone run.

-Go!

[screams]

-No offense, Seth, but your toy factory is

anything but fun.

[telecom ringing]

-Girls, the United Countries building has come under seize

in the middle of an important peace summit.

You must rush there immediately.

The fate of the summit depends on you.

-We're on it.

And, by the way, we need you to pick some one up.

-Consider it done.

I've got your location.

-Mm, sorry, Seth.

But technically, you are a criminal.

Come on, girls.

-Huh?

-Looks like they already took over the building.

We're gonna have to find a different way in.

Agh!

When I said different way, I didn't mean the sewer.

You better not be expecting me to crawl up through a toilet.

-Hah .

[gasp]

-It looks like they're rounding up the

peace summit delegates.

We've got to get those people out of there.

-What's that little creep doing now?

SAM (OFFSCREEN): He must be using the UC building as a war

room to plot the overthrow of the world.

-I used to think the idea of a world run by toys sounded

cute, But now, I think it's just creepy.

-We have to take this army out of commission.

It's now or never.

-Hm.

Clover, you come with me.

Alex, when we distract the toys go free the delegates.

[gasp]

-These retractable razor faux nails should help put a damper

on that little warmonger's plans.

Agh!

-Of all the lousy times to break your nails.

-Huh?

Intruders, get them.

-Oh, no!

-Look out, here comes the heavy artillery!

Ooh!

[gagged mumbling]

-Don't worry.

I'll get you out of here in no time.

Hm?

-Whoa!

Stop!

I've got one more trick up my sleeve.

-Ow!

Hey.

Ugh!

Wouldn't you rather have a nice tea party?

-Here I am, fly boy, come and get me.

-No!

-Quick, run for it!

OK, you want to play rough, dollies?

I can play rough.

-Ah.

Mission over, cupcake.

[grunts]

-Troops, attack!

-Why did Seth have to make his toys so durable?

-Ugh!

Huh?

[toy soldiers yelling]

-Hang on, guys.

I'll save you.

-Agh!

-Now we got you, little missy.

-Argh!

-That's it!

The electromagnetic field disperser.

Alex, throw me the Walkman.

-Ugh!

-Playtime's over.

-No!

-Argh!

-Nicely done, ladies.

The world is once again safe from renegade toys.

-Somehow that doesn't sound as impressive as it actually is.

-Huh?

-Hm?

-Do we really have to send Seth to jail?

-He did steal classified military technology.

-Mm.

-But, seeing as he saved your lives back there, I'm going to

recommend an intense regimen of community service.

-Hm!

-Huh?

-Randy, what are you doing here?

-Waxing your car, my lovely.

I had a little time left over after I did your homework and

baked you these fat-free macaroons.

-Um, Randy, I think we need to talk.

[gasp]

-Is it the cookies?

Are you allergic to coconut?

No, it's not the cookies.

It's our relationship.

I just don't think I can date a guy who

caters to my every whim.

-You can't?

-I know, it sounds totally crazy, but I need to be with

someone I can have a real relationship

with, not a boy toy.

-So you're dumping me?

-Yeah.

But we can still be friends, right?

-Hm, OK.

Well, I guess I better go.

I need to find another date for the

Teensicle concert tonight.

-Huh?

Teensicle concert?

-I scored front row tickets.

Anyway, I'll see you around.

-Randy, wait!

I made a big mistake.

I really want to date you again.

Randy, please, you're the best.

-Hm?

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): I'll even do your laundry.