Original subtitles

THEME SONG: Here we go, we're getting on the road till we

stop, and then we'll shop.

So one, two, three now, baby, here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

On a mission, undercover and we're in control.

Here we go.

Here we go.

We're Totally Spies so get on with the show.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Here we go.

-We've a bit of a problem, sir.

I'm afraid your books are overdue.

-The problem is yours, lady, because I

ain't payin' no fines.

-But, that's our policy.

-Too bad.

[gasp]

-Huh?

-Hey, but me down.

Ugh!

[laughing]

-Ooh, Fried Garbarge, now this is a seriously cool band.

-Not as cool as Day Old Bread.

They are mega cool.

-Sorry, girls.

I just found the coolest thing in the whole

store, Anson Carter.

-Anson Carter?

Who's that?

-The brand new, scalding hot, M-Channel VJ.

Isn't he a dream?

-Hi, guys.

Anson Carter here with an exciting announcement for ya.

I'm looking for a special someone to co-host an upcoming

show with me at the M-Channel.

All you have to do is send in a catchy and convincing

audition tape, and who knows?

Within weeks you and I could be working together.

-Ah!

This is too perfect.

I'll send in my tape, get the job, Anson will fall

in love with me.

And we'll spend the rest of our lives together.

-OK, Clover, I totally support free expression and all, but

you are in public.

-I'm going home right now to work on my tape.

[gasps]

[screams]

-Could Jerry's timing be any worse?

-Argh!

-Ugh!

-Ugh!

-Well, that was completely gross.

A vacuum then a garbage can?

Thanks, Jer.

Jer?

-Down here.

-Nice duds.

Are you, like, in a play or something?

-No.

But I have some very exciting news.

I am to be knighted.

[gasp]

-Knighted?

Like with a sword and the queen, and you'll be a sir?

-Yes, yes, and yes.

It's quite an unexpected honor.

-So can we come?

I've always wanted to meet the queen.

-Tragically, you cannot, though you three will be

traveling to England.

-England?

But I can't.

I have a very important, possibly life-altering video

to star in.

-Well, I'm afraid it'll have to wait.

Right now, I have an assignment for you.

In the city of Liverpool, there have been a rash of odd

occurrences.

People's personalities have suddenly changed.

Observe.

This mild-mannered librarian started acting like a

professional wrestler.

And this prominent surgeon can't stop dancing.

And this army general now treats his officers like a

kindergarten class.

-Freaky.

-Especially since some of these

people are very important.

-Then I guess we'd better find out what's causing this to

happen, fast.

-Precisely.

And now for your gadgets.

You will using laser lipstick, earring communicators, the

hair pick lock pick, suction cup bottomed

go-go boot, and VEGs.

-VEGs?

-Vapor Emitting Gloves, wear them at your olfactory risk.

-Ew, nast!

-Indeed.

And now, you're off, as am I.

-So Anson, remember, my name is Clover, and

your search is over.

You've found your M-Channel guest gal.

I'm hipper than hip, hopper and hop, I walk the walk, and,

baby, I talk the talk.

-That was awesome, Clover.

-Thanks.

Now all I have to do is send in the tape, and keep my

fingers crossed.

-Good, because right now it's spy time.

-Um, are you sure you're a librarian?

Because, sister, you are way buff.

-I was until last Thursday, the day my whole life changed.

-What do mean?

What happened?

-I was working at the library when I saw this bright light.

Then all of a sudden, I wasn't a wimp anymore.

I was a wrestler.

It was amazing.

-I'm afraid I don't follow.

-The only thing I lifted before was books and my

afternoon cup of tea.

Now I can bench 150!

I've another match tomorrow night against some bloke from

Kensington.

Want to come?

-Sounds like a blast, but, unfortunately, we'll have to

take a rain check.

-Suit yourself.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go work on my abs.

-What a freak show.

I mean, how often do you meet a wrestling librarian?

-Yeah, about as often as you meet a high school girl

involved international espionage.

OK, bad example.

-Hey, check it out.

Pro-wrestler Birmingham Brawler quits, wants simpler,

quieter life.

-He probably got dropped on his head one too many times.

-So?

-Either that or his personality's changed.

-What are you saying, Sammy?

-That this is way too weird to be a coincidence.

[grunts]

-Yes, well, wrestling was my old life, you see.

Now I prefer a good book.

-But you're, like, the Birmingham Brawler, dude.

A butt-kicking powerhouse of strength.

-Oh, yes.

Well, I was the Birmingham Brawler, until last Thursday

when I discovered Trollope, Emily Bronte, and Balzac.

-You don't happen to know the head librarian at the

Liverpool Library, do you?

-Why no, but I'd so love to meet her.

We probably have a great deal in common.

-Well, thanks for your time.

Keep digging on those books.

-Oh, yes.

I sure will.

Cheerio, my dears.

-Just when I thought the first freak show was good, the

second one was even better.

-It's like the game we used to play in nursery school,

Opposite Day.

[gasp]

-You're absolutely right, Alex.

It's like they've switched personalities.

-But how is that possible, especially since they don't

even know each other?

-I'm not sure, but we're going to find out.

-It's totally amazing.

Even the most heinous of tweeds, I still look fabulous.

-So what are we looking for, exactly?

-The librarian's datebook.

i want to know what's so special about last Thursday.

And what her connection is to our wrestler.

Hm.

-Huh?

-According to this, she met with a

Dr.Gray on Thursday morning.

-It says here, he's a shrink.

He treats doctors, generals, teachers, and even celebrities

like the Birmingham Brawler.

-Bingo!

We have our connection.

-It's time to pay the good doctor a visit.

-OK, so this is like the opposite of a

normal place to live.

-Shrinks are so dramatic.

[doorbell ringing]

-Looks like nobody's home.

I say, we let ourselves in.

-Hm?

Hm.

-We may need a gadget to bust through.

-How about a nice roundhouse kick, instead?

Ugh!

Whoa!

-Wow!

These boots are multi-functional.

CLOVER (OFFSCREEN): Argh!

-OK.

Let's split up and see what we find, Use your earring

communicators to stay in touch.

-Well, besides the criminally tacky decor, everything looks

pretty normal to me.

-Same here.

How about on your end, Alex?

-Just a stuffy room filled with books.

Hm?

Come to think of it, that wrestler would love in here.

[beeping]

-Whoa!

-Alex?

Alex, are you OK?

-She's not answering.

Let's find her.

Whoa!

-Sammy, can you hear me?

Hello?

Oh, this is so not good.

-So, I went over the falls in the barrel, caught the hoodlum

on his fancy boat, and now he's shut away for years.

-Oh, my!

What a story.

How thrilling.

[telecom ringing]

-Oh, excuse me , Your Majesty.

I'll be just a moment.

-Hello.

-Jer, it's Clover and I have a big time problem.

Alex and Sam just disappeared.

I need to help me, ASAP.

-Yes, well, I'm afraid that might not be possible just

this instance.

-Huh?

Not possible?

Hello!

If you don't get here quick, I may be the next to vanish.

And then it's goodbye M-Channel, goodbye Anson, and

goodbye perfect life.

-Uh, ha, ha.

Uh, calm down.

I have you coordinates, I'll be there as soon as I can.

-Everything all right?

-Oh, yes.

Right as rain.

Say, do you mind pointing me in the direction of the loo?

[gasp]

-Ah.

-What the--

-Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.

So what is this place?

-The home of our prime suspect, Dr. Gray.

He's switching the personalities of his patients.

We just don't know how or why.

-Hm.

Very interesting.

-If by interesting you mean gaudy, then ya, I'm with ya.

-Not the decor, Clover.

I'm talking about that.

-What is it?

-A pendant.

The kind used in hypnotherapy.

-It's really heavy.

And not in the cool '60s way.

-Well that's because it's filled with

some sort of circuitry.

-I wonder what this button does.

-You'd activate my latest research tool, the highly

potent and highly

co.

-Dr. Gray, I presume?

[gasp]

-Huh?

-It allows me to alter the persona of anyone I see fit.

So far I've only used it on my annoying patients.

But I assume that it works just as well on intruders.

-So, what is your deal?

Why are you messing with people's personalities?

-Because I'm sick of listening to them complain.

I figure if they learn to walk in each others shoes, maybe

they'll see life with a whole new perspective.

Plus, it's a great deal of fun.

-OK.

Kind of an extreme approach to therapy, don't you think?

-Sometimes it's necessary to be extreme.

In fact, since my experiment is going so well, I'm planning

on going global, starting with the President

of the United States.

I think he could learn a lot from a rodeo clown.

-You'll never get away with it.

-We'll see about that.

Get rid of them!

-Huh?

Huh?

Ugh!

-Ooh!

-Nice moves, Jer.

-Your moves are quite skillful, as well.

-Fine, then, I guess I'll just have to dispose of you myself.

[zap]

[screams]

-Ugh.

-About time you got here.

-Give us a break, we've like, been totally busy.

-Indeed, we've been quite preoccupied.

[gasps]

-Oh, good heavens.

-No freakin' way!

Huh?

-OK.

This is the weirdest moment ever.

-Yeah.

What happened to you guys?

-I gave them a little attitude adjustment.

[gasp]

-I so can't believe the nerve of you.

I mean, talk about a major loser!

-Jerry, please, that kind of talk isn't going to alter our

present predicament.

-Speaking of predicaments, things are about

to get a lot worse.

-Oh, my.

-That's only the half of it.

In a matter of moments, your cells will be

teeming with rats.

They've been starved for days.

Enjoy the psychological torture.

-Huh?

OK, ew!

Gag me with a spork.

This is seriously grodie.

-Unhand me you vile creatures.

Mercy, this is repugnant.

-I don't know which is scarier, the rats, or those

two switching personalities?

-Me neither.

-Clover, the laser lipstick.

It's in your pocket.

-Ugh!

Ugh!

Brilliant thinking, Samantha.

-Ha!

Uh, ha, ha.

Awesome!

Now it's your turn, girlfriends.

Ha, ha.

Thanks, Clover, uh, I mean, Jerry.

-Oh you're quite welcome.

-No prob!

-OK.

I can't stand another second of this.

We have to find that demented doctor and switch

you back, right now.

[telecom ringing]

-Huh?

Oh, for the love of Pete, who could be phoning

at a time like this?

Yes, hello.

Ah!

Delightful.

I absolutely will.

See you then.

Ah, it seems I got that Anson Carter gig.

They've request my presence in Los Angeles, immediately.

-But what about your situation?

You know, the fact that you're acting like a 50-something

English guy?

-Ta, she'll just have to deal, because right now the three of

us need to jet to DC before the pres

becomes a rodeo clown.

[telecom ringing]

-Jer here.

Oh, no!

I like totally forgot.

I'll be there in a jiff.

Later.

Someone from the palace.

It's knighting time!

-I guess that just leaves me and you.

-Huh?

-We have to talk to the President, right away.

-It's a matter of national security.

-Hm?

-Sorry to barge in on you like this,

sir, but it's an emergency.

-Yeah, an evil shrink's about to turn you

into a rodeo clown.

-Did you say a rodeo clown?

Well, this is just plum crazy.

-Trust me, crazy doesn't even begin to describe this guy.

-Good evening, Mr. President.

It's time for your counseling session.

-What in Old Glory's name are those?

-The shoes you'll soon be walking in.

-See what I mean?

He's way loony.

-That's right.

And now we're here to kick your butt!

[grunts]

-I forgot to mention that I switched my faithful

assistants with some Karate black belts on the way here.

So my butt kicking probably is not going to happen.

Now let's get what we came for, boys.

-Now what do we do, Sammy?

-The only thing we can do, Alex, bring

out the heavy artillery.

We're not done with you yet!

-You've got to be joking!

-When it comes to saving the world, we don't joke, doc.

[grunts]

-Sweet dreams.

-Ay, ooh.

Ooh.

-Huh?

-Awesome work, Sammy.

Now let's put the stink to the shrink.

-I have other plans for him, Alex.

-Hey, I'm really psyched you're here, Clover.

Your tape was a killer.

-Well, I'm tickled pink to be here, Anson, truly.

-Well, tickled pink, OK, interesting lingo.

So are you ready to place videos guest VJ?

-Indubitably.

Ugh!

What's this awful din?

-Ha, ha, excuse me?

-This video.

Don't tell me kids actually like this rubbish?

-This rubbish is Fried Garbage, and they're number

one of the charts.

-Well, I must say their name is quite appropriate.

-Ah, ha.

Well is there anything you do like, Miss Cranky?

-As far as I'm concerned, the only music worth its salt is

the classical variety--

Brahms, Mozart, Bach.

I bet your audience would appreciate

it as welcomed relief.

-Yeah, well, maybe we'll try it, in another lifetime.

Meanwhile--

-Oh, bother.

-Hey, Your Majesty, ugh, ah, like, I'm totally sorry I'm

late.

-That's quite all right, Jerry.

-So, like, thanks again for inviting me to hang, and your

killer digs.

I'm royally blown away!

-It's so--

our pleasure.

-Well, thanks to both of you, then.

And major props on deciding to make me a knight.

It's, like, such the unexpected treat.

Even better than a shoes sale at the mall.

-Are you're feeling OK, Mr.Lewis?

-OK?

I'm downright stoked, Queenie.

Now let's get this party started.

[moans]

-Oopsy.

-You'll never get away with this.

-Want to bet?

-I guess we'd better go help the others.

-Good idea.

And in the meantime, my men will take care of this clown.

[snap]

[gasp]

-Huh?

-So I wonder how Clover and Jerry made out?

-Hm.

-As far as I'm concerned, the only music worth its salt is

the classical variety--

Brahms, Mozart, Bach.

I can't those words actually came out of my mouth.

It's so embarrassing.

-What is embarrassing is my behavior at the palace.

Not only does the Queen now despise me, but my chances of

ever becoming a knight are utterly nil.

-Aw, that's too bad, Jer.

[telecom ringing]

-Huh?

Hello.

Yeah, that's me.

No way!

Yeah, totally!

OK.

Bye.

You're so not going to believe this.

Anson, the love of my life has never gotten as many calls

about a guest VJ.

Everyone loves the cranky girl!

They want me back.

-Awesome!

-You can thank me any time.

-Uh, no, I don't need to thank you, Jer, I need to switch

personalities with you.

Where's that behavioral adjuster thingy?

-Oh, no.

No.

Not in a million years.

-Come on, Jer!

-I said no!

-But, Jer, this is important.

Please?

[beep beep]

[giggling]